stripper, wife, married
Comments: 361 • Responses: 92 • Date: 2013-01-08 07:36:04 UTCsource
Twice_Knightley106 karma2013-01-08 16:04:57 UTC
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lotrcat8853 karma2013-01-08 16:14:29 UTC
sigh I was waiting for that to pop up. I'm surprised it took this long. Ya pervs. :P
latinloner15 karma2013-01-08 16:46:38 UTC
So is this an old GW sub? You look fantastic by the way.
Do you have any other collegues that are stripping their way through school? Or any physicists, engineers, doctors, etc that also strip?
lotrcat886 karma2013-01-08 22:33:43 UTC
Yup, this is from last year. I was three months preggo at this point, but in great shape due to a triathlon training class I was taking senior year. I'm aiming to get back at that level of fitness by this summer.
I do know three other girls who are doing the same. One undeclared (but leaning towards biochem) major, one pre-med, and one who has a masters in education but couldn't find a job teaching and is now going back for something more science-y and marketable.
latinloner2 karma2013-01-09 02:43:25 UTC
and one who has a masters in education but couldn't find a job teaching.
and one who has a masters in education but couldn't find a job teaching.
This blows my mind. I'd be stripping too, if there were a male strip joint in my city. And if I were in shape.
I congratulate you on the enormity of your success and I wish you the best.
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-09 05:31:19 UTC
Thanks. :) Yeah, the market is horrible for teachers right now. Which is awful, because hiring good teachers should be a priority.
prstele011 karma2013-01-08 19:51:20 UTC
I have RES, so I can flip through this slideshow pretty fast! Is doing this representative of what your private dances resemble?
What tricks/moves do you like to show off in your professional dancing?!
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-08 22:35:50 UTC
Pretty much, but with more actual moving/dancing. Also private dances involve me actually sitting in the guy's lap.
I'm learning some cool stuff on the pole, but it takes SO much strength. My entire repertoire consists of about 4 moves right now. -__- But I'm much better at just dancing, so I usually focus on that.
IhaveSomeQuestions5617 karma2013-01-08 08:04:49 UTC
lotrcat8822 karma2013-01-08 08:23:05 UTC
1) Honestly, I'd hope we could just joke around and be cool about it. But if anything even close to harassment started up, I'd make sure to nip it in the bud.
2) Zero. I would never hook up with anyone that I met at the club. Too potentially dangerous.
3) The least I ever made was one spectacularly shit-tastic night where I went home with $30. Average, I'd say $250. The most? $750. And please realize I don't exactly live in a wealthy area, so this money goes a LOT further than it would in a major city.
4) Since we officially got married, I've had 3. Two guys, one girl.
5) Impregnate me again. But we both know now isn't the right time.
Metalhed699 karma2013-01-08 19:33:34 UTC
What's HIS count on hookups since you got married?
lotrcat8810 karma2013-01-08 23:02:04 UTC
He's at 2 girls since we got married. I have the lead only because I'm bi and therefore have twice the market. :)
BrownBear9311 karma2013-01-08 07:39:24 UTC
How long have you been a stripper? Did you use it as a way to pay for college?
lotrcat8818 karma2013-01-08 07:43:47 UTC
4 months total. Broken up, though: 3 1/2 months last year, and I just went back a week ago.
I actually bartended my way through college. I started doing this just before my final semester senior year. So no. But maybe I can pay off some of my loans this way. :)
DrainB11 karma2013-01-08 07:48:38 UTC
I am also a mother of a 4 year old. I have considered this line of work, since I'm single and need money for college, but found I was too nervous. Where you ever really nervous and what did you do to get past that?
lotrcat8816 karma2013-01-08 07:57:24 UTC
Oh god, I was SO nervous my first night!!! I was literally shaking when I first went up. The only thing that helped was time, honestly. Also, another girl went up with me for the first couple times that night (she showed me the ropes, I let her keep the tips from those sets). But for about 2-3 weeks, I still got nervous and shaky going up on stage. I am, believe it or not, a naturally shy person. But in this line of work, you learn to put on a face. You become an actress, catering to the customer's wishes.
WillieMcGee8211 karma2013-01-08 08:15:53 UTC
Do you do private lap dances or just dance on the stage? Is it a full nude club?
lotrcat8811 karma2013-01-08 08:35:30 UTC
I do both. The club has two sides: topless with a regular bar, and fully nude with a juice bar (as per state law). Dancing on the stage can get me up to half my money for the night, but typically I make more on the private dances.
WillieMcGee829 karma2013-01-08 08:41:26 UTC
Have you taken up any offers, on the side, from customers to make some extra cash? Going above and beyond the stripping.
lotrcat8812 karma2013-01-08 08:54:03 UTC
Nope, never. I won't even entertain the possibility of going down that road. I just don't want to deal with the ramifications of doing anything illegal and getting caught. I do get plenty of offers, though.
beyonsense10 karma2013-01-08 07:41:10 UTC
whose idea was to "open" your marriage?
lotrcat8824 karma2013-01-08 07:52:05 UTC
It was both of ours. My husband and I dated for 6 years before tying the knot, and we had an open relationship from the beginning. Granted, it was a little bumpy right off the bat figuring out whose boundaries existed where (I had a little jealousy to contend with in the beginning), but things have been running smoothly ever since we moved in together 3 1/2 years ago. We both have a couple friends who we occasionally sleep with on the side and everyone's happy.
heathen66610 karma2013-01-08 10:34:42 UTC
Thanks for doing this AMA . It's always good to see different people here . By the way,you didn't need to expose your Real life ID directly to everyone(just exposing to mods here is enough) .
lotrcat888 karma2013-01-08 10:39:41 UTC
... didn't know that. facepalm
REdditscks10 karma2013-01-08 19:38:17 UTC
VealStock7 karma2013-01-08 20:28:26 UTC
I'd say she's a sinner and a saint.
lotrcat884 karma2013-01-09 05:55:43 UTC
All of the above, technically. ;)
asasdasasdPrime8 karma2013-01-08 08:26:48 UTC
Where do you plan on working next seeing you have a degree in biochem, it seems like a promising field, also sorry for all the down votes your getting, reddit can be tough sometimes
lotrcat8818 karma2013-01-08 08:45:06 UTC
My plan for now is to work at the club for a year or two more while my daughter is still very young. Then I'll hopefully be able to find a position in a research lab somewhere. I'm super-interested in pharmaceutical research, actually, so ideally I'd love to get a job in that area.
I figured I'd get down-voted some, it's what comes with saying I'm a stripper. Mixed responses like in real life.
quakerlaw8 karma2013-01-08 15:57:26 UTC
What are you going to say in interviews for a biochem job down the road when they ask why you haven't been working in your field for several years post-grad?
lotrcat8810 karma2013-01-08 16:15:42 UTC
"I took some time off to be with my daughter during her early formative years." Also, I do have a legit part-time substitute gig, but I only get called in once every couple of weeks.
asasdasasdPrime5 karma2013-01-08 08:54:39 UTC
After the Connecticut shooting, I work in such a heated job as you do, apparently being a video game dev is like working for the devil (can you believe that?)
But I like your choice, you have potential to change the course of humanity, and I thank you for that.
lotrcat888 karma2013-01-08 09:00:19 UTC
Thank you. :)
I can't believe you would be demonized for working in video game development! That's horrible. That's as ridiculous as saying that some guy who stabs his wife did it because he read Game of Thrones. Fuck that.
asasdasasdPrime7 karma2013-01-08 09:22:31 UTC
I KNOW RIGHT?
The guy liked a game made by the company that I work at, so it makes me the spawn of the devil. Had to resort to creating a new work account because I was getting flamed :/
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-09 05:53:58 UTC
Show this to everyone who hates on you.
bitchesandsake1 karma2013-01-08 21:06:40 UTC
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-08 22:36:32 UTC
Will do. :)
elentilforest7 karma2013-01-08 08:18:24 UTC
being a biochemist, what do you know about the serotonin system and how that works? is it true many strippers shave downstairs?
lotrcat8812 karma2013-01-08 08:33:56 UTC
Oh I'm all about the serotonin rush I give the customers! That's how I get my money! Though I think I should focus more on the release of dopamine, that has more to do with the reward and pleasure center of the brain. ;)
As far as shaving, every single girl there shaves her crotch. It just seems to be the standard for this line of work. I do it too, but if I wasn't working at a strip club, I wouldn't shave it ALL off all the time.
elentilforest4 karma2013-01-08 08:38:32 UTC
I've been doing a lot of research on how various psychedelic drugs affect the brain and how we experience the world. it's really a fascinating area. what made you want to go into biochem?
lotrcat885 karma2013-01-08 08:55:29 UTC
That is definitely an interesting field of research! I went with biochem because I've always been science-oriented and I couldn't choose between biology and chemistry. So I did both!
elentilforest4 karma2013-01-08 09:34:19 UTC
did you take ochem?
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 09:42:01 UTC
Butofcourse. Organic is pretty much the entire basis of biochem. I know everyone complains about it when they take it (I did too at first), but I really like it. I feel like I have a real relationship with carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, and hydrogen.
AlphaQ691 karma2013-01-08 22:11:44 UTC
I was hoping to get into the business side of pharma/biotech but after taking intro bio and doing terrible, I'm afraid I don't have the skills or interest in science to pursue it anymore.
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 23:17:39 UTC
Hey, if you have skills elsewhere and aren't interested in pharma/biotech, then don't push yourself. You don't want to end up unhappy in a dead-end job.
EagleBoro1 karma2013-01-09 03:53:04 UTC
Senior chemistry major here. It's funny, I had the same reaction to organic. I absolutely hated it, but after taking it, learn to love it.. Or at least respect it! Are you ever planning on pursing a job with your degree?
BTW, awesome AMA.
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-09 05:40:05 UTC
I will definitely be pursuing a career with my degree in a little bit. I am too much of a nerd not to be excited about all science-y goodness I can achieve.
And thank you. :)
TheAnarchoCapitalist6 karma2013-01-08 07:47:45 UTC
How's the compensation? Do male strippers make more or less? Where would be a good starting point to get into the industry?
treeguy2017 karma2013-01-08 22:48:37 UTC
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-10 06:50:15 UTC
That almost makes me think about driving down to the City just to strip.
lotrcat886 karma2013-01-08 08:12:56 UTC
I live in a pretty economically depressed area, so the compensation is much lower here than elsewhere (~$250 on an average night). But it sure as hell beats running myself ragged behind the bar for 8 hours straight with drunk people accosting me.
While I have met a couple male strippers, we didn't talk shop. One was a midget and one couldn't string a damn sentence together, he was so dim. Obviously this is not representative of the entire demographic of male strippers. But I imagine they probably make the same amount at private parties if they work the same way the ones I did worked. Not sure about clubs...
swedishflower6 karma2013-01-08 07:39:48 UTC
Why do you choose to be a stripper? Is your husband ok with this? Thanks for the AMA!
lotrcat888 karma2013-01-08 07:47:09 UTC
I chose to be a stripper because it looked like fun! A friend of mine started at the only (decent) club in town, and I went down to visit her her first night. I'd never even been in a strip club before. After seeing men literally hand her money just for being topless in front of them, I figured I could do it too.
Yes, my husband is okay with this. He has literally no jealousy and trusts me completely. We had been dating for 5 1/2 years already when I started doing it, and (obviously) we got married with no reservations (except the friggin' cost of a wedding).
Tiffany905 karma2013-01-08 08:24:37 UTC
Congrats on your baby! How old are you? You look 21 ( which is a good thing)
lotrcat888 karma2013-01-08 08:42:33 UTC
Thank you! I'm 25. Looking younger is definitely better in this industry. :)
Dymn3 karma2013-01-08 12:13:34 UTC
Would you ever sleep with a guy from the club? You do have an open marriage.
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 12:32:44 UTC
No, I wouldn't. Too many unknowns about the guy. I did see a number of girls I work with do this though. Strippers dating customers always (with FEW exceptions) either leads to the girl quitting or the relationship ending.
Dymn3 karma2013-01-08 13:51:51 UTC
Turning the question around, ould you be fine with your husband dating another stripper at your club?
lotrcat886 karma2013-01-08 14:28:40 UTC
He actually was having sex with my friend who worked at the club (the one that got me to go visit her there). So yeah, I'd be okay with it. I trust his taste in women.
Tehjo3 karma2013-01-08 16:22:09 UTC
What kinds of boundaries, rules, etc do you and your husband have for the open relationship part? How often do the rules end up changing, even if just a little?
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 22:39:29 UTC
See my response to omegaterra
The main rules never change. But depending on the other people involved, sometimes I'll be uncomfortable with certain things and ask him not to do them until I know the girl a little better.
luv4ever223 karma2013-01-08 07:41:31 UTC
Do your in-laws know? Do you plan on telling your daughter when she is old enough?
lotrcat887 karma2013-01-08 07:53:59 UTC
My in-laws don't know, but I feel they wouldn't care much.
And I certainly do plan on telling my daughter. When she's old enough to not run around school screaming "My mommy's a stripper!!!". I plan to raise her to view it in a more positive light than our society typically portrays it.
luv4ever225 karma2013-01-08 08:00:50 UTC
How would you react if your father-in-law or brother-in-law walked into the building you work at?
lotrcat8812 karma2013-01-08 08:25:16 UTC
I would be surprised but not ashamed. The more interesting question is how would THEY react?? My brother-in-law went to college to be a pastor.
anotherguy23 karma2013-01-08 13:57:58 UTC
My brother-in-law went to college to be a pastor.
My brother-in-law went to college to be a pastor.
Now that would be a fun story. Seems like you could make bank that night lol
lotrcat886 karma2013-01-08 14:34:04 UTC
"Oh Father, OH FATHER!"
lol But for real, he'd be too embarrassed to look me in the eye. He got awkward when I was breastfeeding my daughter in the same room as him.
anotherguy24 karma2013-01-08 14:38:19 UTC
I'm always thrown off and feel like a creeper when I see somebody breastfeeding in public. Mostly because usually when I do a second look to verify what I saw they see me and think I'm being a weirdo, when in reality... I am a weirdo but wasn't being one at the time!
lotrcat887 karma2013-01-08 14:42:02 UTC
When I breastfeed in public, I throw a cloth over my shoulder so my boob isn't showing. I honestly don't care if people see my breasts (duh: stripper), but I just don't want to deal with people staring. I wish it wasn't so out-of-the-norm to see a woman feeding her baby in public, but meh. Can't change society in a heartbeat.
songwind1 karma2013-01-08 18:51:51 UTC
Yeah, really. I figure once you meet someone in a place, there's no room for stone throwing by either party.
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 22:37:47 UTC
This. The girls' views at work are basically "If you're going to judge me for being here, I'm going to judge you for coming here."
RogueAngelX2 karma2013-01-08 15:50:10 UTC
Would you support your daughter to become a porn star? What about a prostitute?
lotrcat884 karma2013-01-08 15:56:13 UTC
Porn star, maybe. Depends on the situation. Prostitute, probably not. Anywhere where the law starts getting involved I'd be nervous for her. Too many women are taken advantage of or hurt in those fields for me to be 100% gung-ho for anyone I know to work in them.
clubforporn2 karma2013-01-08 16:11:31 UTC
What if prostitution became legal and well regulated? A lot can happen in 18 years.
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 16:19:43 UTC
If that were the case, I'd be more comfortable with it. I would love to see that field regulated and the women (and men) working in it given rights and held to standards the same as everywhere else. Nothing will ever prevent prostitution from happening everywhere; it seems pointless to try and stop it.
IhaveSomeQuestions562 karma2013-01-08 08:06:34 UTC
6) How many times do you go on stage a night? Can you explain to us what are some of the things a stripper does back-stage before a performance?
7) What is the oldes lady you have seen performing as a dancer?
8) How often does a guy finish during a lap dance?
9) Is a dollar a song good for pervert row?
10) What is the most money you have made off one customer?
lotrcat886 karma2013-01-08 08:40:50 UTC
6) Depends on the night - the more girls there are on, the fewer complete rotations can be made that night. As few as 5, as many as 10 or so.
7) Oy. There was one lady... she musta been close to 50. Huge hard fake tits. I'm pretty sure she just used the club as a place to pick up customers of another sort. All the normal customers would clear the stage seating as soon as she got up.
8) It's only happened to me once. So far.
9) No. That'll get you a smile and a thank you and I won't come back.
10) I've made $200 off a single guy from private dances twice now. If only those guys came in more often...
ZombieWebbie2 karma2013-01-08 07:55:11 UTC
Would you allow/encourage/ support your daughter if she ever decide to do the same? Are you concerned on how she would feel? Thanks for the AMA!
lotrcat887 karma2013-01-08 08:02:44 UTC
If she chose to go the same route down the line, I would support her. Now granted, we wouldn't be doing no nasty mother-daughter routine (ew). I might be worried a little for her safety, but hopefully I raise a kid who can handle herself.
Squeezer992 karma2013-01-08 18:40:12 UTC
do you have stretch marks from your pregnancy? If so, how do you deal with those when you are stripping?
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 22:59:32 UTC
I do, but thankfully they are small and unnoticeable in the dark club lighting. I was considering covering them up with a little makeup, but honestly they don't show up in the club. A couple other girls who work there have them, but I think overall body shape/tone is more important than some skin changes.
B00Radley2 karma2013-01-08 13:35:07 UTC
What would you say to your daughter if, once she's older, she wants to dance naked for money?
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-08 13:56:54 UTC
I'd be supportive but concerned for her safety. I'd probably ask her where she's working and check the place out, but other than that, I wouldn't interfere.
bebben2 karma2013-01-08 07:57:42 UTC
Is there any difference in how the guests behave in compare to the indecent clubs in town?
You look amazing for being pregnant just a few months ago, have you done any workout or so?
Thank you for this AMA!
lotrcat885 karma2013-01-08 08:04:25 UTC
When I said decent, I was only referring to the quality of the girls looks-wise. I've only ever worked in the one club, so I can't really compare.
And thank you, I worked at getting back in shape quickly. Insanity workout. Ouch.
bebben2 karma2013-01-08 08:12:25 UTC
Heh, okay. Does the quality of the girls affect how much money you get?
Do you have girls with different body types at the club you work in?
Were you nervous in the beginning, or did you just went up there and did your thing?
How much money do you get after a good workshift? Do you pay taxes for the money you earn?
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 08:51:28 UTC
I'd like to think quality affects quantity, but sometimes a less attractive, super pushy girl can get more money out of a guy than I can. But me, I get repeat customers. More in the long run.
We definitely have girls with a variety of body types, but not past a certain range. You'll find tall, short, big boobs, small boobs, lotsa ass, no ass, etc... but you won't find anyone who's too big overall. I'm on the larger end of the girls working there, and I feel that's saying something.
Yep, I was definitely nervous at first. But I just jumped in balls-deep and did it. It got easier after that.
On average, I'll make about $250 on a weekday night. And no, I haven't paid taxes on anything yet. Unless a girl makes a LOT of money or really sends up a red flag with the IRS, it's not an issue. We all just hope we don't get audited.
anriana1 karma2013-01-09 00:59:28 UTC
Is any of your income not cash?
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-09 02:49:44 UTC
Nope. Everything is cash. I have a bunch of $50 wrapper things for all the singles to make bank deposits easier.
45tallkitchenbags2 karma2013-01-08 10:24:26 UTC
Have you ever been in a monogamous relationship?
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 10:33:39 UTC
In terms of sex, no. I had boyfriends before him, but he was the first guy I had sex with. We were very good friends/fuck buddies for a year before we started dating.
zqlcfWlT7ewiGGoJ1 karma2013-01-08 23:20:30 UTC
Honest question, you seem like an intelligent, nice person... since you've never been in an exclusive relationship, do you think that - if you had never met your current husband - that you would be in an open marriage today?
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-08 23:25:28 UTC
Probably not. We were pretty formative for each other in terms of our sexual outlook. He was my first, I was his second... I don't think I would have had nearly the same experience with anyone else.
clubforporn3 karma2013-01-09 00:19:15 UTC
You were his second? Are you saying they opened their relationship just to include you?
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-09 02:48:00 UTC
No, they also had an open relationship from the beginning. God, this sounds weird. We were all friends who hung out and fooled around and then they started dating.
zqlcfWlT7ewiGGoJ1 karma2013-01-08 23:44:41 UTC
Starting out open is very unusual... had he ever been in an exclusive relationship before?
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-09 02:36:00 UTC
Nope. He just had the one girlfriend before me.
LewisJDM2 karma2013-01-08 07:40:39 UTC
Do the rest of your family know about this? How do they feel about it? Has anyone who was important in your life left because of your career choice?
lotrcat885 karma2013-01-08 07:49:56 UTC
Weeeell, most of my 6 siblings know. 3 of my 4 brothers know and are supportive, and my younger (of 2) sisters knows. As for my parents... I would prefer them not to, because I know they would be disappointed and think they did something wrong. But if they find out, shrug I'd deal with it.
And no, no one important in my life has shunned me because of what I do. Literally all my friends know where I work. Some of them come down to visit/hang out on occasion.
LewisJDM5 karma2013-01-08 07:54:56 UTC
That's great to hear that your family is so supportive of you, goodluck with your career :)
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 08:24:13 UTC
kingofwisco1 karma2013-01-08 13:50:36 UTC
I also grew up in a family of seven... We have the same boy to girl ratio, too.
If i had a sister who graduated biochemistry I'd be beginning to feel suspicious!
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 14:27:28 UTC
So how many times have you gotten asked if your parents are Catholic?
gbbby2 karma2013-01-08 13:37:36 UTC
thanks for the ama! a few questions... you said you were naturally shy and i'm guilty of the same. but you also bartended? i've been looking into starting out as a bar back to move up to a bartender to help out my cash flow. but i'm very shy in front of a group and i'm still a kid in many ways. would i make a fool of myself trying to get into bartending? you think it takes a certain personality type?
and kudos on insanity... if i haven't worked out in a long time and work from home, do you think it would be wise to jump right into it or should i try to get a little into shape first? yes, unrelated... but thanks!
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 13:54:14 UTC
You wouldn't make a fool of yourself! I actually once worked with a guy who was literally the most anti-social person I knew outside of work. All personality types can tend bar, believe me. Being quick and able to multi-task are the real skills you need.
I would work up to Insanity first. I had to, myself. I started out with a good power yoga workout and light jogging, then once I stopped being sore from those, I went into Insanity. I'm halfway through now and my body's gotten used to it (somewhat), but it really isn't a workout to just jump into if you're not already used to some exercise. That being said, good luck to you if/when you start! The results are pretty awesome if you can stick with it.
omegaterra2 karma2013-01-08 13:57:31 UTC
What, if any, rules or guidelines do you have for your open relationship? Is there anything that is off limits outside of the marriage and do you both have the same rules? Is it awkward at all when for example, you're home with the kid and he's out with someone else? In the reverse, has he ever felt awkward?
Thanks in advance.
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 14:32:34 UTC
Rule #1: Complete honesty!!! Rule #2: Ask beforehand and respect the other person's right to say no for any reason (or no reason at all).
The only things that are off limits outside the marriage are unprotected sex, anal, and using boyfriend/girlfriend labels.
And no, I don't feel awkward watching my daughter while he's out on a date. He does the same when I want to go out with a friend(s). There have actually been occasions when each of us has had sex in the house while the other person is here. I know it sounds weird, but it doesn't feel weird to us.
Oed02 karma2013-01-08 16:42:32 UTC
What's the most you've ever earned from a single private dance?
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 22:42:31 UTC
liberusualis1 karma2013-01-09 04:32:34 UTC
Would you like a free hug?
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-09 05:47:01 UTC
I don't need one, but I'll always take one. :)
LightSpire1 karma2013-01-08 19:48:19 UTC
Great example that relationships work on a per person basis. It may be counter culture but it only takes one proof to demonstrate truth. =)
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 23:02:34 UTC
I like that saying. steal
IvanPistoff1 karma2013-01-09 00:18:36 UTC
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-09 02:46:11 UTC
Went back a week ago. I needed some time to lose all the weight and start to feel normal again.
coralfershoral1 karma2013-01-09 03:53:40 UTC
What did you do after high school/between HS and college? If you bartender in college, it is obvious you took a break or something between high school and college.
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-09 05:42:22 UTC
Actually I didn't. I went straight from high school to my local community college. I was a nursing major for two years, realized I sucked at it, switched to liberal arts and science for a year to take some gen ed courses. Then I transferred to a state university, declared biochem my first semester, and graduated 3 years later due to a number of courses that had to be taken sequentially. Also, I waited tables before bartending.
chuus1 karma2013-01-09 04:10:53 UTC
Thank you for doing this AMA. You have a unique combination of roles, which is really interesting :)
I'm currently finishing up my last year of undergrad For a BSc and know that it's tough work. How did you manage to balance doing this and your degree (sleep, exams, etc)?
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-09 05:46:39 UTC
Mainly I worked weekends. I did have to do one weeknight and then be up early the next morning, but it wasn't so bad. Fridays were the worst... up at 8:30 for my 9:40am class, then go go go until 3 in the morning when the club closed. On those days, taking my heels off at the end of the night was the most pleasurable part of the evening.
I've always had to balance school and work, ever since I was 16. You just find your limit. I couldn't do 40 hours of work a week plus full time school - that was when my grades started slipping. I kept my work hours under 30 and tried my best not to waste time during the day.
Anonasty1 karma2013-01-08 12:17:47 UTC
Hey, Thanks for a amazing AmA. You have lot of courage, I hope you get your dream job soon. One question, since you are in open relationship what are you thinking about men who (could) offer more money of "extra" services?
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 12:34:34 UTC
I still wouldn't. Just because I have the freedom to sleep with someone else doesn't mean I automatically will. I also don't want to get involved with breaking the law. Slippery slope and all that.
And thanks. :)
FloraNFauna1 karma2013-01-08 16:43:10 UTC
Woohoo, I got my BS in Biochemistry too.
Maybe I should follow your path, all I do is sit on my big butt all day.
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 22:42:59 UTC
You're welcome to try it. :) It'll definitely pay the rent.
clubforporn1 karma2013-01-08 16:46:06 UTC
Had a look at your submission history, and you had a fantastic first gonewild post some months back. Why was there never another?
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 22:49:21 UTC
Well I didn't think there was much of a market for preggo pics. Though I have been considering doing an update.
day_sailor671 karma2013-01-08 17:00:17 UTC
After reading your responses to these questions, I just want to say that you seem like a really cool person. Best of luck in all of life's adventures!
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-08 22:49:46 UTC
panicinbabylon1 karma2013-01-08 17:00:55 UTC
Do you think you will ever have a more traditional marriage with your husband? What about when your daughter is old enough to understand the circumstances? I've entertained thoughts of an open relationship but ultimately decided I couldn't handle it and admire people with that kind of confidence.
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 22:45:26 UTC
I don't think my husband and I will ever have a "traditional" marriage. We entertained the thought of closing the relationship when we got married, but we're just both happier with it open. We plan on raising our daughter so she doesn't look negatively on this sort of thing. Stressing honesty, consent, and overall respect will be more of a focus for us, I think. And of course, we'll explain things in age appropriate terms.
sapphylala1 karma2013-01-08 17:35:30 UTC
Was biochem your major from the get go or did you start out with a different major? What made you go into biochem? I'm currently a bio major and its definitely a hard field being science and all, but in the end I love it so the hard work is actually enjoyable!
This AMA is wonderful by the way! You're defying the image society gives to strippers and open relationships. Best wishes to you and your family!
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 22:52:43 UTC
I started out a nursing major, but then realized I just don't have the balls to deal with the patients. I liked the medicine/science aspect of it, though, so that influenced my move to biochem. I really do love it, same as you. :)
sapphylala1 karma2013-01-09 00:37:51 UTC
Is your husband working as well? if so, what does he do? like you've said in other comments, child care isn't cheap!
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-09 05:27:53 UTC
My husband does work a 40-45 hour a week job. He's a field service tech, so he drives around a lot. Thankfully, he works for an amazing company that really takes care of him (and by extension, me and our daughter).
alta901 karma2013-01-08 17:44:46 UTC
Several questions after reading through this:
1) One of the things that has struck me about stripping is how unhygienic it appears to be for the stripper what with handling money with your mouth and having a guys face in your cleavage. As a single woman, this is one thing, but does this issue ever concern YOU as a nursing mother (especially with your background in biochem)?
2) Many of the strippers I've spoken with use stripping as a means to finance a degree, and seem to look forward to obtaining that degree so they can get out of the industry. Now that you have your degree, why aren't you more actively seeking seeking out a biochemistry job? In one of your posts you mention that you are 25. Why not begin building the foundations of a scientific career now instead of a "year or two" down the road when your resume will show a year or two long gap between graduation and work with no scientific experience?
Best of luck!!!
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 22:56:02 UTC
This doesn't concern me at all. I shower when I get home. Besides a little sore throat when she was 2 weeks old, my daughter hasn't been sick in the slightest. My background in biochem gives me faith in my (and by extension, her) immune system to fight off anything we do come by.
I'm not actively seeking out a biochem job because I want to stay home with my daughter for the first year or two. Childcare is expensive as fuck and this way, she gets to be cared for by her parents. I think having a kid is a common enough experience that future employers would understand me taking a little time off.
prstele011 karma2013-01-08 19:48:32 UTC
Has there ever been big big problem arise in your marriage from it being open? If so, what were they and how did you and your husband deal with it?
It sounds like you and your husband have worked out all the kinks in the arrangement. :)
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 23:03:45 UTC
There have been a couple issues in the past where I didn't set clear enough boundaries and he overstepped them, but that was more a matter of communication than an issue arising from the open aspect. We communicate reeeally well now, and this has definitely worked things out.
prstele012 karma2013-01-09 01:25:33 UTC
What kind of boundaries did you fail to communicate, and how did he cross them (or how did you feel he crossed them?)
Boundaries are a big deal in my wife and I's relationship now, and while our marriage is monogamous, we haven't ruled out the idea of opening it at some point.
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-09 05:30:37 UTC
There was one instance fairly early on where he fooled around with a girl up at his college (we were long distance for the first 3 years together) and ended up getting a blowjob from her. I was upset because I didn't really know this girl, didn't know her intentions (did she just want to fool around or was she looking for a relationship?), and he hadn't asked me beforehand. But we worked through it. Seriously, understanding your boundaries is key to any relationship, but especially an open one.
brendancummins1 karma2013-01-09 03:20:29 UTC
When do you plan on putting an end to the open marriage? Not trying to coach you on parenting but is it the best idea to keep it open while your daughter is a teen? Also would you want the life you're living for your daughter? (Please why or why nots for all aspects of your life stated above "mother, wife of an open marriage, college graduate, stripper") Thank you.
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-09 05:34:47 UTC
I don't plan on putting an end to the open marriage unless something truly drastic happens.
As far as keeping it open while she's a teen, it's not like we'll be parading other sexual partners in front of her and subjecting her to listening to constant fucking upstairs. That's not healthy for anyone. I'm pretty sure things will be quiet for us sexually during those years. Having an open relationship means that the potential for other partners is there, not that we are constantly banging other people 24/7. We'll be discreet enough not to make her feel awkward.
hissexbobomb1 karma2013-01-08 21:35:51 UTC
How'd you get into the business? Did you have to know how to dance ect to get the job? I've always thought about it, but didn't think I had a good enough body...but you and I look similar so...(not to say you are ugly!!! I just don't have good self esteem lol) You are gorgeous!
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 23:13:19 UTC
I got into when I saw a friend of mine literally getting handed money for being topless in front of a guy and thought "Fuck. I can do that." I never had to officially audition for it, the owner just gave me a night to come in and try it out. I am a good dancer, but you really don't have to be in this business. Men (and some ladies) are more interested in nudity than dancing ability.
I've always had a little bit in the way of self-confidence issues, but DAMN will you get an ego boost once you start working in a club. There is a customer for every body type and having men tell you how gorgeous you are all night long... I won't lie, it's nice.
spritef1 karma2013-01-08 22:09:21 UTC
thanks for doing the ama, very interesting to say the least!
i'm curious though, when apply for jobs in your biochem field, will you be putting stripping on your resume?
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 23:15:17 UTC
Nope. I wouldn't want to sabotage myself like that.
spritef1 karma2013-01-09 00:29:33 UTC
cool, that's what i figured, but wanted to find out for sure.
is it only cash income for you?
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-09 02:48:23 UTC
Yup, only cash.
Sparky6783481 karma2013-01-08 22:22:11 UTC
You said the bar is split in two sections, nude and nonnude. Do you dance in both?
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 23:15:57 UTC
Yep. I did only the topless one at first, but eventually just didn't care.
Hells881 karma2013-01-08 23:12:23 UTC
Congrats, Biochem has to some of the driest stuff to learn imaginable
Also, what do you think of anal sex?
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 23:22:49 UTC
It's not dry if you're interested in it! It's pretty cool to study the chemical basis of life processes. I'm in touch with my inner Krebs cycle. :)
Anal sex is great if there's LOTS of lube.
rydog123bruh1 karma2013-01-08 23:19:40 UTC
Whats the most difficult job: being a mom, being a wife, being a stripper, or school/work in biochem?
lotrcat887 karma2013-01-08 23:24:27 UTC
The mom part. Babies are such an uncontrollable factor. I can control my job, I can control my relationship, I can control schoolwork... I can't control a fussy baby at 3 in the morning when I've tried everything else and she won't stop crying. But that's why I'm so glad to have a partner in raising her. I don't know how single moms do it.
kiwibirdofdoom1 karma2013-01-09 02:10:18 UTC
Hi there :) I have few questions. Perhaps you can answer them?
How do you manage to keep all the lysosomal storage disorders segregated in your mind? Mine always mix up :(
Any shortcuts to help with leukodystrophies? I memorize them one morning and forget them next day.
If given the chance to work in a lab at some professional school will you give up this line of work?
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-09 02:54:11 UTC
1) and 2) I did not have to study these. They sound more like pre-med or med school territory. But you can always google study aids, charts and such. I found many online that helped me.
3) If someone offered me a job right here right now that paid enough to cover childcare and then some, then I would take it. But for now, I enjoy what I do. :)
oldschool321 karma2013-01-09 03:00:42 UTC
How would it change your work if the dollar bill became replaced with a coin?
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-09 03:50:09 UTC
I feel like "making it rain" would hurt a lot. -__-
dude123221 karma2013-01-09 03:35:16 UTC
how far have you gone with a client? does taxes get deducted from your pay? why was stripping your choice to get money? girls say that too when they need cash but do porn
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-09 05:37:50 UTC
The farthest I have ever gone with a client (voluntarily) is rubbing up on him while he's hard. Call me vanilla, but I've never performed any sexual favors for a client.
No taxes are deducted from my pay. It's literally all straight cash. I keep all my stage tips, get my portion of the up-front fee for private dances from the bouncer, do my tip-outs, and leave. That's it, no paper trail really.
I chose stripping because it's easier and more fun than my previous job was. Simple as that.
ilmryr_maori1 karma2013-01-08 17:01:11 UTC
Ever share someone with the hubby?
lotrcat883 karma2013-01-08 22:45:48 UTC
Many times. Most recently, 3 days ago.
ilmryr_maori1 karma2013-01-08 23:48:21 UTC
What draws you to the polyamorous lifestyle?
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-09 05:26:35 UTC
Technically we are not polyamorous as we don't have boyfriends/girlfriends outside of our relationship.
Honestly, it's not so much a matter of being "drawn" to the lifestyle, it is simply what makes us happiest. We weren't lured in by the shiny aspect of sleeping with other people, it's just... what we do. :)
treeguy2011 karma2013-01-08 22:40:56 UTC
lotrcat882 karma2013-01-08 23:20:35 UTC
How likely is it that a family member would go to a strip club, and yours in particular?
I don't live in the same part of the state as my family, so it'd be super-unlikely for me to encounter anyone I'm related to. I don't bother thinking about it, because that would either lead to me appearing uncomfortable on stage (turns off customers) or me quitting, and neither of those are helpful. You just have to realize that it's a possibility, and weigh the pros and cons of working there with dealing with a situation like that.
Also props on the PhD - that's a lot of hard work right there!
Lucky_Luuk0 karma2013-01-08 16:31:46 UTC
Why do you have an open marriage? Is one man not enough? What would your parents think about the marriage and the stripping?
lotrcat884 karma2013-01-08 22:40:53 UTC
It's not about one man being "enough" or "not enough". I love my husband and sex with him is all I need. But that doesn't account for everything I want. Variety is the spice of life, after all.
My parents wouldn't approve of either. They're pretty conservative Christians. :(
beetnemesis0 karma2013-01-08 17:20:09 UTC
How great are belly button rings?
lotrcat881 karma2013-01-08 22:49:37 UTC
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