My short bio: I am 47 years old. On Thanksgiving of 1991, my then-girlfriend shot me in the head. She was never charged for it and the police didn't do a thorough investigation. I was in brain surgery for 15 hours, a coma for nearly 5 months, and wheelchair-bound for 2 years. I was told I would never have children. Today, my teenage son told me about AMA. It's a miracle that I'm not an infertile vegetable. They had to amputate 5 of my toes for me to walk properly after the incident, and the bullet gave me a frontal lobotomy, severed my optic nerve, and required me to get a portion of my prefrontal cortex removed, but I'm a happily married father nonetheless. Ask me anything! My son will read me the questions and I'll dictate my answer to him.

My Proof: Brain surgery scar: Foot: Comparison of both feet:

Edit: I met my wife in 1995, walking in the French Quarter. I bumped into a pole and yelled a few expletives, when she came up to me with her friend and helped me. I got her number but I lost it. About six months later, I managed to bump into her AGAIN. I started dating her, and one thing led to another. Our son came a couple years later.

Edit 2: Dad's stepped out for a bit, he'll be back soon. Keep the questions coming, and he'll answer them all when he comes back.

Edit 3: Dad came back for a bit, but he's going to lay down for a while. Keep commenting, even if it's an inactive discussion, he wants to answer as many as he can.

Edit 4: Dad's in for the night. He'll be up in the morning to answer all of your questions. Don't worry about it.

Comments: 1273 • Responses: 92  • Date: 

DontGiveaFuckistan1302 karma

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

owlkid1648 karma

I've told that joke so many times. My son hates it. Why do blind people go bungee jumping? To scare the hell out of his seeing eye dog.

50PercentLies793 karma

I am just thinking on the alleged attempted murder.

So the girlfriend, apparently with no provocation, tries to kill her SO with her own gun in her own house and claim suicide.

Let's assume for a moment that she is a sociopath, since there was seemingly no motive. I feel like the dad would have noticed. Even well adjusted psychopaths tend to be OCD or have some other nervous tick that pops up, even though they seem normal (and, often, very charismatic) in all other aspects of their personality and behavior.

But if she was not disturbed in this manner, we have a problem. Stable people do not try and murder other people for no reason. Ever. Did the dad have a massive insurance policy? Doesn't seem like it, and it seems unlikely he would name a potentially temporary SO as a beneficiary. Did he cheat on her? I guess maybe, but he seems like a stand up guy from this AMA so I doubt it, and seems like he would tell us if he did.

This leads me to think that his memory is, well, unreliable before his coma. Being unconscious that long in that way has a tendency to affect memories, erasing some, changing others. He says his personality changed slightly, which is completely expected, but lobotomies (which this wasn't in the strictest sense, but it was similar) often serve to erase or alter a good portion of one's experiential memories, erasing chronologies and learned interpretations. It is potentially possible that he tried to kill himself, but obviously at this point no one will ever really know.

We have arrived then at the most likely explanation: The dad is an ex-spy. The wound destroyed the memories. It is beyond obvious that his girlfriend was a double agent and that they were partners. He found out about her deal with extreme hacktivists, but gave her the benefit of one final evening together before dropping the news that he was going to report her. He told her he was going to go to bed and give her a full night's head start, but she thought it would be easier to just end him then and there, despite the pain it would cause her. She believed in her cause.

That is why she tracked him down in the bar all those years later. She wanted to see if he remembered anything, but also felt bad and wanted to see that he wasn't completely destroyed, for her own benefit.

Edit: Bro you have super long toes Edit2: Aww I have never gotten gold. Internet hug to you stranger!

owlkid381 karma

My dad and I got a huge kick out of that. Thank you.

TheAdmiralOfCrunch550 karma

Can you shed some light on the situation that led up to getting shot? Also did the police have another theory of the crime, or why did they not charge her for the attack?

owlkid974 karma

It was the day before Thanksgiving, and I had grilled some shark meat. We ate, then made love. I was tired, and I took a nap. I woke up five months later in a hospital bed.

She told the police that I tried to kill myself, and they didn't continue the investigation.

Starace011190 karma

Eating shark meat, making love and waking up 5 months later in a hospital, makes you sound like James Bond

owlkid2654 karma

The name is Blind. James Blind.

FrozenRaspberries550 karma


owlkid722 karma

I actually wrote this, hahah.

screw_all_the_names235 karma

Wait, the son or the dad?

owlkid584 karma

The son. I wrote the joke.

goatcoat278 karma

Is it possible that you did try to kill yourself and you don't have any memory of it due to the brain injury?

owlkid614 karma

It's possible, but I doubt it. I had no reason to, and I wasn't feeling particularly suicidal that day. Well, honestly, any day, but still.

Burnsith534 karma

What do you call a cow with two legs?

owlkid1598 karma

You don't. You just quietly leave at 5 in the morning, and drink it off.

bluemud432 karma

You hear about the blind guy that got a cheese grater for christmas? It was the most violent book he ever read.

owlkid270 karma


Fantastical14419 karma

Why did they have to amputate your toes for you to walk properly?

owlkid631 karma

My brain damage caused my toes to claw, or curl inward, and bone straightening didn't work. They were left with no other options.

bumblefuck225 karma

Shit. The toes on my right foot are curled due to massive nerve damage from a car wreck, and now I'm worried they might not be able to fix it. Do you remember why corrective surgery wouldn't work?

owlkid230 karma

Not really, sorry. It was just that i had really bad nerve damage and i couldn't. My nerve pain has gone way down, though, so just give it time, if all else fails.

eatmyflakes409 karma

Harsh story! Were you able to forgive her or not? Do you feel any resentment?

owlkid725 karma

I have found that the only way I could keep from being consumed with hatred is to forgive her, and the idea of karmic retribution had kept me from hostile feelings toward her. While I do feel resentment, it is directed at the ineptitude of the investigation of the incident.

eatmyflakes220 karma

I can understand. I wish you the best for the future. I think you're an incredibly strong person.

owlkid244 karma

Thank you for your encouragement! I wish you the best as well.

stephjarr78 karma

Have you come into contact with her since then? Or heard of her whereabouts?

owlkid101 karma


afishcalledkay367 karma

If you could see one thing for five minutes, what would it be?

owlkid1211 karma

My wife and son's faces.

Xperr7276 karma

If only there was a camera for the blind that sends a feed of what's happening to the brain

owlkid353 karma

If only.

Troop-the-Loop338 karma

Is there anything, since becoming blind, that has actually improved?

For example, I have a friend who suffered an accident and became blind at the age of 17. From what he tells me, his imagination has become more vivid. When I read to him, or when he reads brail, he claims to be able to visualize everything with much more detail than when he could see. He guesses it has something to do with less outward stimuli, so there's more brainpower to focus on imaginative visualization.

owlkid489 karma

I agree. Obviously, my hearing is amplified, but I agree whole-heartedly with your friend. My dreams are incredibly vivid.

modern-athena327 karma

Do you have any idea why she shot you?

owlkid587 karma

I have no idea why she shot me. It was completely unexpected. We weren't fighting, and we were in love, or so I thought.

diarrhea_of_the_mind311 karma

Where is the girlfriend now, and has she attacked anyone else since?

owlkid597 karma

Not that I know of, but I encountered her once in a bar a year or two after the incident, when I was in a wheelchair. She approached me and told me who she was, and I sort of wheeled myself away from her. I feel that in order to live my life the best I can, I have to leave the past behind me. So no, I don't know where she may be, or if she's even alive.

staper23258 karma

Do you have any hobby's or activities to pass the time?

owlkid865 karma

I smoke weed, I like to write poetry, and I love telling jokes, among other things.

bitchslapt88 karma

What is it like to smoke weed now that you're blind? Could you describe the experience?

owlkid288 karma

It's not really any different.

frozenuggz232 karma

Hi, my dad was a logger and and while falling a tree one day had a cable snap, and the tree fell on him giving him a traumatic brain injury. That was 30 years ago. Here recently I believe he has become depressed and ready to leave this life behind. I do what I can to keep him interested in things, but it is a difficult fight. Would you have any words of inspiration, or motivation for me to give to him?

owlkid333 karma

Show him as much love and support as you can, and give him a purpose. If he can't find one on his own, find one for him. Find an interest of his and experience it with him. If all else fails, remind him that you care about him and that he's made it this far without stopping, and urge him to keep going. I don't quite know what your dad's experiencing specifically, but I'm glad I can be seen as a source of help for someone in need.

kittenbarista228 karma

Thanks for sharing with us today. What is your go-to quote that helps you deal with crappy days?

owlkid479 karma

Fuck it, twist one up. (laughs) Okay, no, but seriously, my go-to is "It could have been a lot worse." I'm happily married and have a son, and a lot of people can't say that.

_Just_Because156 karma

What's your favorite kind of sandwich?

owlkid382 karma

Oh, man, that's a hard one! I like a nice catfish sandwich on occasion, and I like a well-made reuben as well. A blonde and a redhead is good on any day, though. (laughs)

_Just_Because142 karma

Must. Try. Catfish. Sandwich.

owlkid231 karma

I'm from New Orleans. Catfish Po-Boys are nearly tradition.

Shiftiy140 karma

Have you found that there is a lot of support in society for people who suddenly find themselves with a major disability.

If not, what would you think we need to do to correct this?

owlkid229 karma

No, I find that social support is woefully lacking. I think that education on the subject would help, and if politicians would loosen their grip on the finances needed to do so, things would be better.

Lt3440116 karma


TheKookySpooky134 karma

What gets my gord is that she actually had the nerve to approach him in the bar while he was in the wheel chair, as if she did nothing wrong. He should have ran her over and said he didn't see her.

owlkid193 karma

That's a good question. It's always a possibility; however, she and I were the only people who knew where she kept her gun, and if someone else did, in fact, shoot me, she was at the very least involved. I don't think I was sleepwalking. (laughs)

Ibelieve91994 karma

How do you deal with the disparity in foot sizes when purchasing shoes?

owlkid157 karma

I just buy a pair that'll fit my good foot.

Th17kit89 karma

This may be a sensitive question, but did your girlfriend try to kill you?

Also, as a med student I know that lobotomies tend to cause an extreme drop in motivation, emotions, and 'interest in life' among other things. What is your experience with this?

Props to you for making it through!

owlkid165 karma

Yes, she did try to kill me. In my case, oddly, it's heightened my emotions, and I've been very motivated and interested in life, depending on how I'm living. Sometimes my emotions are too strong, though, which leads to issues with impulsiveness. I'm disinhibited, basically.

12iskYourLife86 karma

Could you talk about your process from the hospital bed to rehab?

And what was it like changing from a fully functional body to practically being caged in?

Thanks for doing this :)

owlkid153 karma

It was long and arduous. I had to relearn the very simplest of tasks in an entirely new way.

It was bewildering, and I was in a state of denial for the beginning of it, and I, in mental rebellion, made several poor choices, such as drug abuse for an escape.

lifeadvice64785 karma


owlkid207 karma

I'm happy right now because I'm sitting in a room with my family on a peaceful day.

lifeadvice64768 karma


owlkid176 karma

I'm happy to hear that you're happy to hear that I'm happy!

TheDuchessOfBacon77 karma

In doing this AMA are your feelings of anger coming back or does this actually help you deal with it?

owlkid129 karma

Both. It brings me back into what happened, but it is my hope that discussing this will help others, as well as myself.

murdarkk76 karma

I was under the impression that there is no statute of limitations on attempted murder. Why is your attacker not behind bars?

owlkid190 karma

Well, the police didn't investigate it thoroughly, or even dust for prints, and the incident was over 2 decades ago, so there isn't a crime scene anymore. She shot me in my sleep and told them that I tried to kill myself, and though I vividly recall the day leading up to the incident, any court would argue that my brain damage makes my testimony unreliable. I've moved past it, anyway, and it seems like a moot point now.

BigTunaTim94 karma

I sure am sorry this happened to you in an era when NOPD officers were too busy murdering each other to properly investigate your own attempted murder. Your attitude and honesty are admirable and appreciated. (Former Metairie and Mandeville resident here.)

owlkid70 karma

Thank you. It's good to have someone who understands.

funkarama73 karma

Why did she shoot you? Did you cheat on her? Steal money from her? Break up with her?

Normally, people need a pretty good motive for murder.....

owlkid198 karma

She's not quite normal.

zerooneinfinity71 karma

Who called the ambulance if your girlfriend shot you? How can you be sure she did it if you were asleep?

owlkid106 karma

I think she did. I guess she did it to cover up for the gunshot, so as to not raise suspicion from her neighbors.

Thegreatbambino9568 karma

Have you ever tried asking your ex her reasoning?

owlkid195 karma

I asked her what happened, and she told me that I came into the kitchen with a gun to my head. She says I told her, "Look!" and fired on an empty barrel. She says that she told me it wasn't funny, and I supposedly told her I was gonna do it, and shot myself. That doesn't explain how i made it all the way back into the bed and laid down, though.

MycTyson95 karma

She says I told her, "Look!" and fired on an empty barrel.

Does that sound at all, like something you would have done?

owlkid144 karma


gauravp2p62 karma

do you hate math ?

owlkid126 karma

One word: Emphatically.

Jbonesuarez57 karma

How did you meet your current wife? Have you ever asked to touch a womans face and touched her tits on purpose?

owlkid102 karma

Once, and her boyfriend beat me up. (laughs) I'm kidding, of course. I've been asked this several times, so I might as well answer it all at once in the post itself.

TheKookySpooky51 karma

Are you seeking any kind of help to regain your eyesite? The teaching hospitals these days have all kinds of new and innovating technology.

owlkid87 karma

I am, but with no optic nerve, there's very little hope for me. I don't know if there's anything I could do, but I would want to try it.

1491625364944 karma

Reading through your replies, it seems like you had no reason to kill yourself AND that she had no reason to kill you. You remember being happy and in love. You don't remember being suicidal. Given that both theories require something unusual, why do you think she tried to kill you? Is there evidence (not specifically police evidence but also anecdotal evidence) that supports one theory over another? Did she visit you in the hospital? How did your family say she reacted during this time?

owlkid73 karma

She did not visit me in the hospital.

Alpiney42 karma

Im wondering, do you remember the shooting? If no, how do you know it was your girlfriend of the time?

owlkid76 karma

I was asleep when I was shot. She was the only other person there, as well as the only person besides me who knew where she kept her gun.

twentythree241 karma

How did you meet your current wife? Does she have any disabilities herself? Who did you lean on while you were learning to get your life back (but now blind)?

owlkid71 karma

No, she doesn't. I didn't have a lot of people to lean on. I guess my mom. Edit: I'm gonna answer the wife thing in the post itself.

peace904341 karma

What is your favorite joke?

owlkid208 karma

How do you stop the Atlanta Falcons from jerking off? Paint their dicks Black and Gold, because they can't beat that. (Reference: Black and Gold= New Orleans Saints)

TheObnoxiousPanda36 karma

I am so amazed that you survived that dreadful incident. It's a miracle that you are completely fine now and can do anything you want. How are you and how's your family? :)

owlkid62 karma

We're happy. As we have our ups and downs, it's a work in progress. However, every day that I'm alive, I see progress.

1854492035 karma


owlkid69 karma

She never admitted to what she did, so no.

Jslater65635 karma

I am just going to ask. Did you have some kind of insurance or something to support you financially? Are you employed now or just on disability?

owlkid80 karma

I am not employed. Local government cut the amount I get from disability and social security. I only get about a hundred or so a month from disability. My wife works, though.

mmwatermelon35 karma

What is it that you "see" in your head when you smoke? Do you still visualize things, or remember what things look like? I've always wondered what goes on when people become blind. I'd love to have beignets and coffee with you, and hear your stories.

owlkid55 karma

I remember what certain things look like whether i'm smoking or not. My dreams are very vivid, but I don't really daydream while i'm high. I just kinda melt into things. And thank you! I like sharing my experiences, and coffee and beignets aren't a bad bonus at all.

purps042031 karma

is that a shroom tattoo on you leg?

owlkid73 karma

Yep. Did a lot of stuff in the 80s. Still would if I knew somebody. (laughs) The tattoo on my other leg says "Jesus Saves".

Kamelixs29 karma

You mentioned that the bullet gave you a lobotomy and that they removed a bit of your prefrontal cortex.

Have this resulted in any cognitive deficits?

owlkid69 karma

I have kind of weak impulse control because of it, but for someone who's been shot in the head, my cognitive abilities are pretty amazing.

Tacostealr28 karma

Would you shoot her if you were presented to opportunity so you could get revenge? Let's assume no one would find out.

owlkid122 karma

No, because I would still know. Two wrongs don't make a right.

SergeantMcCornbread42 karma

Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left

owlkid44 karma

Three rights make a left, not two. (laughs)

thesoliloquist28 karma

I'm guessing that you suffered through the trauma, depression and perhaps even suicidal tendencies. If you did, how did you overcome those?

owlkid68 karma

I still do, but the more I overcome them, the stronger I become.

woooofwoof25 karma

I have a friend who was blinded by a gunshot to the head when he was 17. He's married with two children, he's a real cut up. I was asking him if he can still "see" in his head when he remembers things from the past, He doesn't so much "see" in his head, but he does dream, and in his dreams he can see everything in color and he remembers his dreams. So my question do you "see" in your head, do you still dream with vision?

owlkid28 karma

I do. I have very intense visual dreams, and I can recall them easily when I wake up.

The66Ripper25 karma

I see that in a few comments you reference smoking weed. I have a few questions that have floated through my mind on a few stoney nights.

Can you roll your own joints/blunts? If so, what is the process and how is it different from when you had your vision (assuming you smoked before losing your vision)

When you buy, is the smell more important to you than anything else or are you selective about the bud you buy at all?

Lastly, how does the high effect you without vision?

Your story is amazing. Unfortunate, but amazing, I'm sure you've inspired a lot of people in your community. You seem like a great guy who's making the best out of a shitty situation. Thanks for sharing your story, and best of luck to you in the future.

owlkid56 karma

I can roll joints, yeah.

I don't really care what I buy. I've been dry for a while, so I get what I can. My connects are all dry too. It sucks.

I don't trip when I smoke weed, so vision doesn't matter. I feel a little detached, but I also feel really connected with what's going on. I don't know how to describe it. Edit: I didn't see the last part. Well, I can't see anything, but my son didn't see the last part. Thank you so much! All the support I'm getting is inspiring me as well. I wish the same to you!

ihaveapentax21 karma

Have you learned Braille and if so, do you use Braille note devices to access the internet (though I know you said you were dictating this to your son, I was curious)?

owlkid37 karma

I tried learning braille, but my fingertips are insensitive due to the incident. The bullet fucked up my nerves.

JuiceBeat20 karma

Has anyone told you you have long toes? Haha anyways, what was it like first coming out of your coma?

owlkid30 karma

My wife says I could macrame with my toes. (laughs) Shock, disbelief, betrayal. That's the best way I can describe it.

chaffey_boy20 karma

What are the most difficult tasks for you since receiving these injuries?

owlkid40 karma

Navigating, of course, and the feelings of helplessness in situations where, if I could see, I could be helpful.

TheNerdOverlord16 karma

What kind of music do you like to listen to?

owlkid32 karma

All kinds. I prefer rock.

veinerman16 karma


owlkid28 karma

I can't smell anymore, which hinders my taste, and my nerve damage limits my touch. I can hear much better now, though.

And not that I know of. I don't know.

StrikingCrayon12 karma

How do like

owlkid27 karma

Well, I imagine it'd be great if I could operate a computer. (laughs) Really, though, I think it's an awesome thing for the blind, or anybody, really. I'm formerly an avid reader who misses it terribly, and I think it's a great option for people to have.

YouGuysSuckBalls12 karma

How did you meet your wife and have a son being blind? I'm very interested in that side of your life

owlkid11 karma

I'm gonna answer that question in the post.

ilsenz9 karma

Hi, thank you very much for sharing!

Having read all your replies now, I only have one question for you. Who rolls your doobies?

P.S I think You are awesome, I really enjoyed reading your comments.

owlkid146 karma

I don't need anyone to do it for me. Hell, I could practically do it with my eyes closed.

ilsenz16 karma

Haha, thanks for replying.

To follow on from that question, what tasks/activities are you proficient in that might surprise someone due to your lack of sight?


owlkid28 karma

Shaving, rolling a joint, and shelling and eating seafood have all surprised people. It's not hard!

MrSocialClub9 karma

May have been asked already but what are any negative effects, other than blindness that you experienced from being lobotomized among all the other things? Thanks for your time.

owlkid22 karma

Emotional instability.

JockThatCamel8 karma

How'd you meet your new wife?

owlkid18 karma

I've only had one wife. (laughs)

jv25437 karma

Did you have a seeing dog while you were in the wheelchair? If so how'd you manage the dog while rolling, if not how'd you manage?

owlkid9 karma

I never had a seeing eye dog. My mobility issues didn't allow it.

Cdecker826 karma

Have you ever been to Evan's Creole Candy Shop?

owlkid9 karma

I have not. Is it good?

Andarne6 karma

Have you ever travelled the world to, please pardon the expression, 'see' the world? Since losing your sight, have you begun to experience your surroundings differently? If so, what are your experiences whilst travelling to far afield places?

owlkid5 karma

I have not. I'd love to, though.

AmericanDolphin3 karma

Would you rather fight 1000 gun-sized Godzillas or 1 Godzilla-sized gun?

owlkid15 karma

One Godzilla-sized gun. It can't fire itself, can it? No contest.

CBSAclerk3 karma

Have you talked to your ex-girlfriend since the event? And what is her side of the story now that you are awake and clearly stating that you did not shoot yourself?

owlkid5 karma

She isn't my ex wife. She basically told me I shot myself, and I haven't talked to her since. I have no interest in doing so.

sinebiryan3 karma

After you have been through how are you feeling about life? Do you hate the girl you shot or you just happy that you don't die? Or just happy to live and have a son?

owlkid7 karma

I don't hate her; I feel sorry for her. My wife and son are the reason I get up in the morning.

StrobiWan2 karma

Has your personality changed since the incident? Are you aware of the tale of Phineas Gage?

owlkid4 karma

No, I'm not. Who is that?

diegojones42 karma

Man, I'm 47 too and have had some crazy girls try to ruin my life, but that bitch be whacked.

Are you fairly independent? How are you dealing with your son's teenage years?

Good on you for choosing happiness instead of being bitter. Also, you are in Louisiana, you should get some sun!

owlkid4 karma

I'm reasonably independent. Dealing with my son's teenage years? One day at a time. (laughs)

_wellthisisawkward_2 karma

what do you think of this?

does it matter what your wife looks like?

owlkid5 karma

I can't watch that. Or listen to it, for that matter. We don't have speakers on our computer.

At any rate, it doesn't matter. She's the light of my life, so what do I care?

FatManEats2 karma

/r/PussyPass would love this

Do you have income?

owlkid1 karma

I have disability. My wife works. Interesting. I didn't know about this! I might try posting it there later.

Highvisvest1 karma

Just out if interest, you've had your toes amputated on one foot to be able to walk again, how did that make a difference? I'm just confused as to how a gunshot to the head meant your toes had to be amputated, hope I'm not being insulting.

owlkid1 karma

The brain damage affected my nerves, and my toes seized up permanently.

Highvisvest2 karma

Thanks for the answer man :)

owlkid1 karma

Of course!

Rakaith1 karma

What kind of mental/emotional effects did you receive from the brain damage? I've heard that the standard "frontal labotomy" leaves you very disconnected from people, but you don't sound bad at all in that department.

owlkid2 karma

I can't control my impulses as well and I get a little bit too emotional at times. That's about it.

inaujesylnO1 karma

Do you think the gun laws in the USA should be stricter?

owlkid1 karma

I think they should be strict, yes, but not extreme. The gun didn't choose to shoot me, she did.