IAmA blind man who suffered a gunshot wound to the head, dictating this to my son. AMA!

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

I've told that joke so many times. My son hates it. Why do blind people go bungee jumping? To scare the hell out of his seeing eye dog.

I am just thinking on the alleged attempted murder.

So the girlfriend, apparently with no provocation, tries to kill her SO with her own gun in her own house and claim suicide.

Let's assume for a moment that she is a sociopath, since there was seemingly no motive. I feel like the dad would have noticed. Even well adjusted psychopaths tend to be OCD or have some other nervous tick that pops up, even though they seem normal (and, often, very charismatic) in all other aspects of their personality and behavior.

But if she was not disturbed in this manner, we have a problem. Stable people do not try and murder other people for no reason. Ever. Did the dad have a massive insurance policy? Doesn't seem like it, and it seems unlikely he would name a potentially temporary SO as a beneficiary. Did he cheat on her? I guess maybe, but he seems like a stand up guy from this AMA so I doubt it, and seems like he would tell us if he did.

This leads me to think that his memory is, well, unreliable before his coma. Being unconscious that long in that way has a tendency to affect memories, erasing some, changing others. He says his personality changed slightly, which is completely expected, but lobotomies (which this wasn't in the strictest sense, but it was similar) often serve to erase or alter a good portion of one's experiential memories, erasing chronologies and learned interpretations. It is potentially possible that he tried to kill himself, but obviously at this point no one will ever really know.

We have arrived then at the most likely explanation: The dad is an ex-spy. The wound destroyed the memories. It is beyond obvious that his girlfriend was a double agent and that they were partners. He found out about her deal with extreme hacktivists, but gave her the benefit of one final evening together before dropping the news that he was going to report her. He told her he was going to go to bed and give her a full night's head start, but she thought it would be easier to just end him then and there, despite the pain it would cause her. She believed in her cause.

That is why she tracked him down in the bar all those years later. She wanted to see if he remembered anything, but also felt bad and wanted to see that he wasn't completely destroyed, for her own benefit.

Edit: Bro you have super long toes Edit2: Aww I have never gotten gold. Internet hug to you stranger!

My dad and I got a huge kick out of that. Thank you.

Can you shed some light on the situation that led up to getting shot? Also did the police have another theory of the crime, or why did they not charge her for the attack?

It was the day before Thanksgiving, and I had grilled some shark meat. We ate, then made love. I was tired, and I took a nap. I woke up five months later in a hospital bed.

She told the police that I tried to kill myself, and they didn't continue the investigation.

Eating shark meat, making love and waking up 5 months later in a hospital, makes you sound like James Bond

The name is Blind. James Blind.

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I actually wrote this, hahah.

Wait, the son or the dad?

The son. I wrote the joke.

Is it possible that you did try to kill yourself and you don't have any memory of it due to the brain injury?

It's possible, but I doubt it. I had no reason to, and I wasn't feeling particularly suicidal that day. Well, honestly, any day, but still.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

You don't. You just quietly leave at 5 in the morning, and drink it off.

You hear about the blind guy that got a cheese grater for christmas? It was the most violent book he ever read.

Brilliant.

Why did they have to amputate your toes for you to walk properly?

My brain damage caused my toes to claw, or curl inward, and bone straightening didn't work. They were left with no other options.

Shit. The toes on my right foot are curled due to massive nerve damage from a car wreck, and now I'm worried they might not be able to fix it. Do you remember why corrective surgery wouldn't work?

Not really, sorry. It was just that i had really bad nerve damage and i couldn't. My nerve pain has gone way down, though, so just give it time, if all else fails.

Harsh story! Were you able to forgive her or not? Do you feel any resentment?

I have found that the only way I could keep from being consumed with hatred is to forgive her, and the idea of karmic retribution had kept me from hostile feelings toward her. While I do feel resentment, it is directed at the ineptitude of the investigation of the incident.

I can understand. I wish you the best for the future. I think you're an incredibly strong person.

Thank you for your encouragement! I wish you the best as well.

Have you come into contact with her since then? Or heard of her whereabouts?

Nope.

If you could see one thing for five minutes, what would it be?

My wife and son's faces.

If only there was a camera for the blind that sends a feed of what's happening to the brain

If only.

Is there anything, since becoming blind, that has actually improved?

For example, I have a friend who suffered an accident and became blind at the age of 17. From what he tells me, his imagination has become more vivid. When I read to him, or when he reads brail, he claims to be able to visualize everything with much more detail than when he could see. He guesses it has something to do with less outward stimuli, so there's more brainpower to focus on imaginative visualization.

I agree. Obviously, my hearing is amplified, but I agree whole-heartedly with your friend. My dreams are incredibly vivid.

Do you have any idea why she shot you?

I have no idea why she shot me. It was completely unexpected. We weren't fighting, and we were in love, or so I thought.

Where is the girlfriend now, and has she attacked anyone else since?

Not that I know of, but I encountered her once in a bar a year or two after the incident, when I was in a wheelchair. She approached me and told me who she was, and I sort of wheeled myself away from her. I feel that in order to live my life the best I can, I have to leave the past behind me. So no, I don't know where she may be, or if she's even alive.

Do you have any hobby's or activities to pass the time?

I smoke weed, I like to write poetry, and I love telling jokes, among other things.

What is it like to smoke weed now that you're blind? Could you describe the experience?

It's not really any different.

Hi, my dad was a logger and and while falling a tree one day had a cable snap, and the tree fell on him giving him a traumatic brain injury. That was 30 years ago. Here recently I believe he has become depressed and ready to leave this life behind. I do what I can to keep him interested in things, but it is a difficult fight. Would you have any words of inspiration, or motivation for me to give to him?

Show him as much love and support as you can, and give him a purpose. If he can't find one on his own, find one for him. Find an interest of his and experience it with him. If all else fails, remind him that you care about him and that he's made it this far without stopping, and urge him to keep going. I don't quite know what your dad's experiencing specifically, but I'm glad I can be seen as a source of help for someone in need.

Thanks for sharing with us today. What is your go-to quote that helps you deal with crappy days?

Fuck it, twist one up. (laughs) Okay, no, but seriously, my go-to is "It could have been a lot worse." I'm happily married and have a son, and a lot of people can't say that.

What's your favorite kind of sandwich?

Oh, man, that's a hard one! I like a nice catfish sandwich on occasion, and I like a well-made reuben as well. A blonde and a redhead is good on any day, though. (laughs)

Must. Try. Catfish. Sandwich.

I'm from New Orleans. Catfish Po-Boys are nearly tradition.

Have you found that there is a lot of support in society for people who suddenly find themselves with a major disability.

If not, what would you think we need to do to correct this?

No, I find that social support is woefully lacking. I think that education on the subject would help, and if politicians would loosen their grip on the finances needed to do so, things would be better.

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What gets my gord is that she actually had the nerve to approach him in the bar while he was in the wheel chair, as if she did nothing wrong. He should have ran her over and said he didn't see her.

That's a good question. It's always a possibility; however, she and I were the only people who knew where she kept her gun, and if someone else did, in fact, shoot me, she was at the very least involved. I don't think I was sleepwalking. (laughs)

How do you deal with the disparity in foot sizes when purchasing shoes?

I just buy a pair that'll fit my good foot.

This may be a sensitive question, but did your girlfriend try to kill you?

Also, as a med student I know that lobotomies tend to cause an extreme drop in motivation, emotions, and 'interest in life' among other things. What is your experience with this?

Props to you for making it through!

Yes, she did try to kill me. In my case, oddly, it's heightened my emotions, and I've been very motivated and interested in life, depending on how I'm living. Sometimes my emotions are too strong, though, which leads to issues with impulsiveness. I'm disinhibited, basically.

Could you talk about your process from the hospital bed to rehab?

And what was it like changing from a fully functional body to practically being caged in?

Thanks for doing this :)

It was long and arduous. I had to relearn the very simplest of tasks in an entirely new way.

It was bewildering, and I was in a state of denial for the beginning of it, and I, in mental rebellion, made several poor choices, such as drug abuse for an escape.

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I'm happy right now because I'm sitting in a room with my family on a peaceful day.

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I'm happy to hear that you're happy to hear that I'm happy!

In doing this AMA are your feelings of anger coming back or does this actually help you deal with it?

Both. It brings me back into what happened, but it is my hope that discussing this will help others, as well as myself.

I was under the impression that there is no statute of limitations on attempted murder. Why is your attacker not behind bars?

Well, the police didn't investigate it thoroughly, or even dust for prints, and the incident was over 2 decades ago, so there isn't a crime scene anymore. She shot me in my sleep and told them that I tried to kill myself, and though I vividly recall the day leading up to the incident, any court would argue that my brain damage makes my testimony unreliable. I've moved past it, anyway, and it seems like a moot point now.

I sure am sorry this happened to you in an era when NOPD officers were too busy murdering each other to properly investigate your own attempted murder. Your attitude and honesty are admirable and appreciated. (Former Metairie and Mandeville resident here.)

Thank you. It's good to have someone who understands.

Why did she shoot you? Did you cheat on her? Steal money from her? Break up with her?

Normally, people need a pretty good motive for murder.....

She's not quite normal.

Who called the ambulance if your girlfriend shot you? How can you be sure she did it if you were asleep?

I think she did. I guess she did it to cover up for the gunshot, so as to not raise suspicion from her neighbors.

Have you ever tried asking your ex her reasoning?

I asked her what happened, and she told me that I came into the kitchen with a gun to my head. She says I told her, "Look!" and fired on an empty barrel. She says that she told me it wasn't funny, and I supposedly told her I was gonna do it, and shot myself. That doesn't explain how i made it all the way back into the bed and laid down, though.

She says I told her, "Look!" and fired on an empty barrel.

Does that sound at all, like something you would have done?

Nope.

do you hate math ?

One word: Emphatically.

How did you meet your current wife? Have you ever asked to touch a womans face and touched her tits on purpose?

Once, and her boyfriend beat me up. (laughs) I'm kidding, of course. I've been asked this several times, so I might as well answer it all at once in the post itself.

Are you seeking any kind of help to regain your eyesite? The teaching hospitals these days have all kinds of new and innovating technology.

I am, but with no optic nerve, there's very little hope for me. I don't know if there's anything I could do, but I would want to try it.

Reading through your replies, it seems like you had no reason to kill yourself AND that she had no reason to kill you. You remember being happy and in love. You don't remember being suicidal. Given that both theories require something unusual, why do you think she tried to kill you? Is there evidence (not specifically police evidence but also anecdotal evidence) that supports one theory over another? Did she visit you in the hospital? How did your family say she reacted during this time?

She did not visit me in the hospital.

Im wondering, do you remember the shooting? If no, how do you know it was your girlfriend of the time?

I was asleep when I was shot. She was the only other person there, as well as the only person besides me who knew where she kept her gun.

How did you meet your current wife? Does she have any disabilities herself? Who did you lean on while you were learning to get your life back (but now blind)?

No, she doesn't. I didn't have a lot of people to lean on. I guess my mom. Edit: I'm gonna answer the wife thing in the post itself.

What is your favorite joke?

How do you stop the Atlanta Falcons from jerking off? Paint their dicks Black and Gold, because they can't beat that. (Reference: Black and Gold= New Orleans Saints)

I am so amazed that you survived that dreadful incident. It's a miracle that you are completely fine now and can do anything you want. How are you and how's your family? :)

We're happy. As we have our ups and downs, it's a work in progress. However, every day that I'm alive, I see progress.

I am just going to ask. Did you have some kind of insurance or something to support you financially? Are you employed now or just on disability?

I am not employed. Local government cut the amount I get from disability and social security. I only get about a hundred or so a month from disability. My wife works, though.

What is it that you "see" in your head when you smoke? Do you still visualize things, or remember what things look like? I've always wondered what goes on when people become blind. I'd love to have beignets and coffee with you, and hear your stories.

I remember what certain things look like whether i'm smoking or not. My dreams are very vivid, but I don't really daydream while i'm high. I just kinda melt into things. And thank you! I like sharing my experiences, and coffee and beignets aren't a bad bonus at all.

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She never admitted to what she did, so no.

is that a shroom tattoo on you leg?

Yep. Did a lot of stuff in the 80s. Still would if I knew somebody. (laughs) The tattoo on my other leg says "Jesus Saves".

You mentioned that the bullet gave you a lobotomy and that they removed a bit of your prefrontal cortex.

Have this resulted in any cognitive deficits?

I have kind of weak impulse control because of it, but for someone who's been shot in the head, my cognitive abilities are pretty amazing.

Would you shoot her if you were presented to opportunity so you could get revenge? Let's assume no one would find out.

No, because I would still know. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left

Three rights make a left, not two. (laughs)

I'm guessing that you suffered through the trauma, depression and perhaps even suicidal tendencies. If you did, how did you overcome those?

I still do, but the more I overcome them, the stronger I become.

I see that in a few comments you reference smoking weed. I have a few questions that have floated through my mind on a few stoney nights.

Can you roll your own joints/blunts? If so, what is the process and how is it different from when you had your vision (assuming you smoked before losing your vision)

When you buy, is the smell more important to you than anything else or are you selective about the bud you buy at all?

Lastly, how does the high effect you without vision?

Your story is amazing. Unfortunate, but amazing, I'm sure you've inspired a lot of people in your community. You seem like a great guy who's making the best out of a shitty situation. Thanks for sharing your story, and best of luck to you in the future.

I can roll joints, yeah.

I don't really care what I buy. I've been dry for a while, so I get what I can. My connects are all dry too. It sucks.

I don't trip when I smoke weed, so vision doesn't matter. I feel a little detached, but I also feel really connected with what's going on. I don't know how to describe it. Edit: I didn't see the last part. Well, I can't see anything, but my son didn't see the last part. Thank you so much! All the support I'm getting is inspiring me as well. I wish the same to you!

I have a friend who was blinded by a gunshot to the head when he was 17. He's married with two children, he's a real cut up. I was asking him if he can still "see" in his head when he remembers things from the past, He doesn't so much "see" in his head, but he does dream, and in his dreams he can see everything in color and he remembers his dreams. So my question do you "see" in your head, do you still dream with vision?

I do. I have very intense visual dreams, and I can recall them easily when I wake up.

Have you learned Braille and if so, do you use Braille note devices to access the internet (though I know you said you were dictating this to your son, I was curious)?

I tried learning braille, but my fingertips are insensitive due to the incident. The bullet fucked up my nerves.

What are the most difficult tasks for you since receiving these injuries?

Navigating, of course, and the feelings of helplessness in situations where, if I could see, I could be helpful.

Has anyone told you you have long toes? Haha anyways, what was it like first coming out of your coma?

My wife says I could macrame with my toes. (laughs) Shock, disbelief, betrayal. That's the best way I can describe it.

What kind of music do you like to listen to?

All kinds. I prefer rock.

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I can't smell anymore, which hinders my taste, and my nerve damage limits my touch. I can hear much better now, though.

And not that I know of. I don't know.

How do like audible.com?

Well, I imagine it'd be great if I could operate a computer. (laughs) Really, though, I think it's an awesome thing for the blind, or anybody, really. I'm formerly an avid reader who misses it terribly, and I think it's a great option for people to have.

How did you meet your wife and have a son being blind? I'm very interested in that side of your life

I'm gonna answer that question in the post.

Hi, thank you very much for sharing!

Having read all your replies now, I only have one question for you. Who rolls your doobies?

P.S I think You are awesome, I really enjoyed reading your comments.

I don't need anyone to do it for me. Hell, I could practically do it with my eyes closed.

Haha, thanks for replying.

To follow on from that question, what tasks/activities are you proficient in that might surprise someone due to your lack of sight?

Cheers!

Shaving, rolling a joint, and shelling and eating seafood have all surprised people. It's not hard!

May have been asked already but what are any negative effects, other than blindness that you experienced from being lobotomized among all the other things? Thanks for your time.

Emotional instability.

How'd you meet your new wife?

I've only had one wife. (laughs)

Did you have a seeing dog while you were in the wheelchair? If so how'd you manage the dog while rolling, if not how'd you manage?

I never had a seeing eye dog. My mobility issues didn't allow it.

Have you ever been to Evan's Creole Candy Shop?

I have not. Is it good?

Have you ever travelled the world to, please pardon the expression, 'see' the world? Since losing your sight, have you begun to experience your surroundings differently? If so, what are your experiences whilst travelling to far afield places?

I have not. I'd love to, though.

After you have been through how are you feeling about life? Do you hate the girl you shot or you just happy that you don't die? Or just happy to live and have a son?

I don't hate her; I feel sorry for her. My wife and son are the reason I get up in the morning.

Have you talked to your ex-girlfriend since the event? And what is her side of the story now that you are awake and clearly stating that you did not shoot yourself?

She isn't my ex wife. She basically told me I shot myself, and I haven't talked to her since. I have no interest in doing so.

Would you rather fight 1000 gun-sized Godzillas or 1 Godzilla-sized gun?

One Godzilla-sized gun. It can't fire itself, can it? No contest.

what do you think of this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5am0_pEkQM

does it matter what your wife looks like?

I can't watch that. Or listen to it, for that matter. We don't have speakers on our computer.

At any rate, it doesn't matter. She's the light of my life, so what do I care?

Man, I'm 47 too and have had some crazy girls try to ruin my life, but that bitch be whacked.

Are you fairly independent? How are you dealing with your son's teenage years?

Good on you for choosing happiness instead of being bitter. Also, you are in Louisiana, you should get some sun!

I'm reasonably independent. Dealing with my son's teenage years? One day at a time. (laughs)

/r/PussyPass would love this

Do you have income?

I have disability. My wife works. Interesting. I didn't know about this! I might try posting it there later.

Has your personality changed since the incident? Are you aware of the tale of Phineas Gage?

No, I'm not. Who is that?

What kind of mental/emotional effects did you receive from the brain damage? I've heard that the standard "frontal labotomy" leaves you very disconnected from people, but you don't sound bad at all in that department.

I can't control my impulses as well and I get a little bit too emotional at times. That's about it.

Do you think the gun laws in the USA should be stricter?

I think they should be strict, yes, but not extreme. The gun didn't choose to shoot me, she did.

Just out if interest, you've had your toes amputated on one foot to be able to walk again, how did that make a difference? I'm just confused as to how a gunshot to the head meant your toes had to be amputated, hope I'm not being insulting.

The brain damage affected my nerves, and my toes seized up permanently.

Thanks for the answer man :)

Of course!