IamA Russian Little Person living in USA with my disabilities. It's a slow Sunday so let's AMA!

Are you having a hard time finding track suits in your size here?

Asking the real questions. Yes. Yes I do. What's up with that.

I am not touchy about my disabilities and have a sense of humor so dark, the cops shot it.

Did they use normal bullets, or little bullets?

https://youtu.be/OPxAFoaAJWA

I've a bunch of funny and quite unbelievable stories.

What story are you dying (a little) to tell?

I once flipped my powerchair when I was drunk. It's a fucking shame I don't have a photo. I got walloped and drove off a 9 in step head first in a drunken stupor. Broke NOTHING outside a bruised knee and some fractured toes. Went out like a light. In ER went "at least we won!" to the doc (Eagles won hence I was at a bar). He did not laugh.

A Russian iggles fan? That's levels of drunk I wasn't aware existed.

Well now you have.

Go birds!

E A G L E S!

Have you ever used the pickup line, "Do you have a little Russian in you? Would you like to?"

I say "Girl, are you Karl Marx? Because you're causing an uprising in my pants"

Looking to seize the means of production I see.

4 year plan in 9 months!

I am a little person (I use this term only because it seems to currently be PC, I don't actually like it myself)

So what's your preferred term for yourself, and why do you prefer it/dislike others?

I see myself larger than life. To that end, I am not little. Midget sounds like circus folk.

I’ve always felt like labeling people based on their disability or race is easier but it’s not that hard to find another way of describing someone.

So why not Commie Instead of little person?

I got no problem with commie. Particularly I see a problem with how Americans see Commie. Liberals != Commies.

It’s definitely context imo. And when I call you a commie it comes 100% from a place of love

Exarctly.

What about "dwarf"? Not sure how well affiliated do you feel with axes and mining for gold.

OK dwarf. But just because I like axes.

I am a little person (I use this term only because it seems to currently be PC, I don't actually like it myself)

Which term do you prefer to use for yourself?

Which term do you prefer to use for yourself?

Alexa calls me Big Papa Smurf every morning

Cool man, good luck with the healing process.

What drove you to leave Russia for the US? Are you a spy? (Reverse psychology angle)

https://youtu.be/kBotG_sneMs?t=16

What's something about living with your condition that most people wouldn't expect?

You can't reach your own asshole so asswasher (bidet oooh la di da) is a must.

Favorite king of the hill line?

[unintelligible got dang ol unintelligible]

Are there other little people in your family?

Surprisingly no.

First off, thank you for being vunerable and doing this AMA, it's always great being let into people's personal lives, regardless of the circumstance.

My question:

- What is something you wish everyone did better?

• What is something you wish everyone did better?

Have a sense of humor about yourself. And don't take ANYTHING about your health for granted.

What would you change about yourself if you could?

I always though it'd be my ability to walk, but hell now I'd take the ability to take a nice cold drink without chocking.

Dumb question but do you watch 90 Day Fiancé? There is a woman on this season that is a little person in Russia, dating a American guy that clearly doesn’t understand her condition.

I nearly never watch TV outside like The Simpsons and Dexter New Blood. Maybe John Oliver.

What's your favourite game of this year?

Eagles whooping the fuck out of Colorado?

You’re obviously a spy planted by the KGB, you just haven’t grown yet?

you just haven’t grown yet?

I get more info this way.

In the "Spies Like Us." sort of way?

That was actually a documentary.

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Robin Williams. You didn't say he had to be alive.

Where do you get your money? You should have been bankrupted by medical debt 5 times by now.

Where do you get your money?

I get a little gobmint help far as medical and I do light crowdtasking online. That last one isn't for money because it's ridiculously little. It's there to keep me sane and from spiraling into my own head/ass

Do you have any good tips for someone who wants to start learning Russian?

Russian's a dick to learn if you weren't born into it. I never really thought about it. Stay away from crappy youtube tuts. Rosetta Stone/Spotify podcasts.

I've a Russian classmate and I want to go out for a date with her. Any preferences?

Buy her a steak the size of a toilet seat and call her Grazhdanka. Is means Comrade (female).

Sounds more like citizen than comrade? I see a lot of communist themed jokes. Russia hasn't been communist for 30 years... Do you have some nostalgia for the period? Do you remember it? When did you leave Russia?

CCCP dissolved when I was .... oh 7? Yes some nostalgia. But only because I was too little to understand why we had to buy food with stamps. Why no one could afford a car. Why potholes were the size of wildebeests.

Is it easier living in the US or Russia with your condition?

Probably here. Russian hospitals aren't conducive to good health. Outside the Moscow center, they are like prisons. Rat infested prisons.

Were your ancestors in the Russian royal court by any chance?

I wish. Then they'd be dead.

Do you date? Also, what’s your favorite movie and thing to eat?

Do you date?

No.

Movie

Lots. Scarface. Die Hard 1-3. Xfiles Fight the Future. and... cheeseburgers?

How big is your willy?

But 4.5 and 100% functional. I think that last part is god's ultimate joke.

Do you think Battlefield 2042 is a far more entertaining game than Battlefield 3?

Hahahahahahaa!!!!! takes breath HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha^{hahahhahahaaaaaa}

Do you guys prefer being called dwarves over little people? I know I would. Dwarf sounds bad ass. Little person always sounded a little derogatory to me for some reason.

Like I said to another guy, I don't really like any of these terms. Alexa calls me Big Papa Smurf. To strangers, I don't even classify myself. I say my name, they say sir.

Will you be able to eat and drink normally in future? You mentioned the feeding tube being temporary but is that because another more permanent tube will be put in later? Or just until you recover from your surgeries.

Will you be able to eat and drink normally in future?

Supposedly yes. Though that remains to be seen. As well as swallowed.

Can you recommend me a good Steam game?

Disco Elysium.

Distance. (for this one go to Spotify and turn on a Synthwave type playlist. Kavinsky, M83, Gunship, https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1yqSYlnLwg8waxkVIdSSZT?si=af5505be19364ebe )

Have you ever been tossed?

Several times. I did not care for it.

If you don't like the term little person, what do you prefer?

I'm just a regular human. Alexa calls me Big Papa Smurf every morning though.

Is it true what they say about little people?

Yes.

I like your cat drawing. I guess I need to ask a question, so... What do you miss about Russia? What don't you miss? Here's one of my cats in case you live cats. https://imgur.com/jjD7PjK.jpg

I had a dog. The best there ever was. Let me look for a pic.

I mean from Russia all I have is nostalgic childhood memories if that. Place was a mess. Hospitals were rat infested prisons. Cars were many times worse than Yugos you laugh at here. Public transport had no handicapped provisions and were so overcrowded you couldn't even sit down. TV had (then) 3 channels and cartoons were on for like 15min a week. A. WEEK. How was I to get my Tom & Jerry on like that?!

When you pick up women do you say “do you have a little Russian in you?”

Someone asked that. CTRL+F.

Почему уехал из России?

Родители уехали когда мне было 10

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I am vagina-level, so no. Most of my problems come from weakness, or limited movement due to frozen arthritic joints, not size problems.

Did you cry when CCCP fell or yes?

CCCP did not fall. https://youtu.be/z77JFw2D6f8?t=36

Do you watch little person porn? Or are you like us normal sized guys who watch well endowed. (Can read this any way ya see fit)

I look at regular girls. Curvy ones, with a healthy bottom, but don't tell anyone.

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Hasbulla

Hezbollah?

Do you miss chewing food? A friend was on a liquid diet and he starting becoming obsessed with food textures

Do you miss chewing food?

I started with baby food and bananas and bread but I still cannot drink liquids. I'd kill for a beer or even some water.