Comments: 136 • Responses: 46  • Date: 

epicswagdouchebag135 karma

Are you having a hard time finding track suits in your size here?

alittle_disabled101 karma

Asking the real questions. Yes. Yes I do. What's up with that.

Flammy84 karma

I am not touchy about my disabilities and have a sense of humor so dark, the cops shot it.

Did they use normal bullets, or little bullets?

Flammy10 karma

I've a bunch of funny and quite unbelievable stories.

What story are you dying (a little) to tell?

alittle_disabled37 karma

I once flipped my powerchair when I was drunk. It's a fucking shame I don't have a photo. I got walloped and drove off a 9 in step head first in a drunken stupor. Broke NOTHING outside a bruised knee and some fractured toes. Went out like a light. In ER went "at least we won!" to the doc (Eagles won hence I was at a bar). He did not laugh.

robotnique8 karma

A Russian iggles fan? That's levels of drunk I wasn't aware existed.

alittle_disabled2 karma

Well now you have.

BaconCane2 karma

Go birds!

alittle_disabled3 karma

E A G L E S!

MrFrogy41 karma

Have you ever used the pickup line, "Do you have a little Russian in you? Would you like to?"

alittle_disabled65 karma

I say "Girl, are you Karl Marx? Because you're causing an uprising in my pants"

cynicalsaint115 karma

Looking to seize the means of production I see.

alittle_disabled5 karma

4 year plan in 9 months!

Portarossa28 karma

I am a little person (I use this term only because it seems to currently be PC, I don't actually like it myself)

So what's your preferred term for yourself, and why do you prefer it/dislike others?

alittle_disabled50 karma

I see myself larger than life. To that end, I am not little. Midget sounds like circus folk.

dshab9226 karma

I’ve always felt like labeling people based on their disability or race is easier but it’s not that hard to find another way of describing someone.

So why not Commie Instead of little person?

alittle_disabled30 karma

I got no problem with commie. Particularly I see a problem with how Americans see Commie. Liberals != Commies.

dshab923 karma

It’s definitely context imo. And when I call you a commie it comes 100% from a place of love

alittle_disabled5 karma


JarasM15 karma

What about "dwarf"? Not sure how well affiliated do you feel with axes and mining for gold.

alittle_disabled36 karma

OK dwarf. But just because I like axes.

alexanderpas15 karma

I am a little person (I use this term only because it seems to currently be PC, I don't actually like it myself)

Which term do you prefer to use for yourself?

alittle_disabled51 karma

Which term do you prefer to use for yourself?

Alexa calls me Big Papa Smurf every morning

tth2o14 karma

Cool man, good luck with the healing process.

What drove you to leave Russia for the US? Are you a spy? (Reverse psychology angle)

neobowman9 karma

What's something about living with your condition that most people wouldn't expect?

alittle_disabled23 karma

You can't reach your own asshole so asswasher (bidet oooh la di da) is a must.

BootyChedder9 karma

Favorite king of the hill line?

alittle_disabled35 karma

[unintelligible got dang ol unintelligible]

Gutinstinct9999 karma

Are there other little people in your family?

alittle_disabled12 karma

Surprisingly no.

Dashboardforfire8 karma

First off, thank you for being vunerable and doing this AMA, it's always great being let into people's personal lives, regardless of the circumstance.

My question:

- What is something you wish everyone did better?

alittle_disabled24 karma

  • What is something you wish everyone did better?

Have a sense of humor about yourself. And don't take ANYTHING about your health for granted.

Hawkence7 karma

What would you change about yourself if you could?

alittle_disabled9 karma

I always though it'd be my ability to walk, but hell now I'd take the ability to take a nice cold drink without chocking.

kiki19836 karma

Dumb question but do you watch 90 Day Fiancé? There is a woman on this season that is a little person in Russia, dating a American guy that clearly doesn’t understand her condition.

alittle_disabled3 karma

I nearly never watch TV outside like The Simpsons and Dexter New Blood. Maybe John Oliver.

MilitaryFish6 karma

What's your favourite game of this year?

alittle_disabled19 karma

Eagles whooping the fuck out of Colorado?

Treleeorne6 karma

You’re obviously a spy planted by the KGB, you just haven’t grown yet?

alittle_disabled7 karma

you just haven’t grown yet?

I get more info this way.

mini4x2 karma

In the "Spies Like Us." sort of way?

alittle_disabled2 karma

That was actually a documentary.

ohio448575 karma


alittle_disabled11 karma

Robin Williams. You didn't say he had to be alive.

allwordsaremadeup5 karma

Where do you get your money? You should have been bankrupted by medical debt 5 times by now.

alittle_disabled8 karma

Where do you get your money?

I get a little gobmint help far as medical and I do light crowdtasking online. That last one isn't for money because it's ridiculously little. It's there to keep me sane and from spiraling into my own head/ass

RustledTacos5 karma

Do you have any good tips for someone who wants to start learning Russian?

alittle_disabled11 karma

Russian's a dick to learn if you weren't born into it. I never really thought about it. Stay away from crappy youtube tuts. Rosetta Stone/Spotify podcasts.

alancusader1235 karma

I've a Russian classmate and I want to go out for a date with her. Any preferences?

alittle_disabled29 karma

Buy her a steak the size of a toilet seat and call her Grazhdanka. Is means Comrade (female).

DownvoteEvangelist1 karma

Sounds more like citizen than comrade? I see a lot of communist themed jokes. Russia hasn't been communist for 30 years... Do you have some nostalgia for the period? Do you remember it? When did you leave Russia?

alittle_disabled4 karma

CCCP dissolved when I was .... oh 7? Yes some nostalgia. But only because I was too little to understand why we had to buy food with stamps. Why no one could afford a car. Why potholes were the size of wildebeests.

jessiffin5 karma

Is it easier living in the US or Russia with your condition?

alittle_disabled20 karma

Probably here. Russian hospitals aren't conducive to good health. Outside the Moscow center, they are like prisons. Rat infested prisons.

tapobu4 karma

Were your ancestors in the Russian royal court by any chance?

alittle_disabled7 karma

I wish. Then they'd be dead.

weary_dreamer4 karma

Do you date? Also, what’s your favorite movie and thing to eat?

alittle_disabled11 karma

Do you date?



Lots. Scarface. Die Hard 1-3. Xfiles Fight the Future. and... cheeseburgers?

LintLicker6969694 karma

How big is your willy?

alittle_disabled12 karma

But 4.5 and 100% functional. I think that last part is god's ultimate joke.

lRaziel13 karma

Do you think Battlefield 2042 is a far more entertaining game than Battlefield 3?

alittle_disabled9 karma

Hahahahahahaa!!!!! takes breath HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahhahahaaaaaa

Cruxifux3 karma

Do you guys prefer being called dwarves over little people? I know I would. Dwarf sounds bad ass. Little person always sounded a little derogatory to me for some reason.

alittle_disabled3 karma

Like I said to another guy, I don't really like any of these terms. Alexa calls me Big Papa Smurf. To strangers, I don't even classify myself. I say my name, they say sir.

sjp19803 karma

Will you be able to eat and drink normally in future? You mentioned the feeding tube being temporary but is that because another more permanent tube will be put in later? Or just until you recover from your surgeries.

alittle_disabled11 karma

Will you be able to eat and drink normally in future?

Supposedly yes. Though that remains to be seen. As well as swallowed.

TonicArt3 karma

Can you recommend me a good Steam game?

alittle_disabled7 karma

Disco Elysium.

Distance. (for this one go to Spotify and turn on a Synthwave type playlist. Kavinsky, M83, Gunship, https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1yqSYlnLwg8waxkVIdSSZT?si=af5505be19364ebe )

J_Bagelsby3 karma

Have you ever been tossed?

alittle_disabled2 karma

Several times. I did not care for it.

deadlyhausfrau2 karma

If you don't like the term little person, what do you prefer?

alittle_disabled5 karma

I'm just a regular human. Alexa calls me Big Papa Smurf every morning though.

C2D22 karma

Is it true what they say about little people?

alittle_disabled2 karma


iowan2 karma

I like your cat drawing. I guess I need to ask a question, so... What do you miss about Russia? What don't you miss? Here's one of my cats in case you live cats. https://imgur.com/jjD7PjK.jpg

alittle_disabled4 karma

I had a dog. The best there ever was. Let me look for a pic.

I mean from Russia all I have is nostalgic childhood memories if that. Place was a mess. Hospitals were rat infested prisons. Cars were many times worse than Yugos you laugh at here. Public transport had no handicapped provisions and were so overcrowded you couldn't even sit down. TV had (then) 3 channels and cartoons were on for like 15min a week. A. WEEK. How was I to get my Tom & Jerry on like that?!

ScrappleSandwiches1 karma

When you pick up women do you say “do you have a little Russian in you?”

alittle_disabled6 karma

Someone asked that. CTRL+F.

Bujos1 karma

Почему уехал из России?

alittle_disabled2 karma

Родители уехали когда мне было 10

xManisha1 karma


alittle_disabled0 karma

I am vagina-level, so no. Most of my problems come from weakness, or limited movement due to frozen arthritic joints, not size problems.

repartdart1 karma

Did you cry when CCCP fell or yes?

alittle_disabled11 karma

gamestopdecade1 karma

Do you watch little person porn? Or are you like us normal sized guys who watch well endowed. (Can read this any way ya see fit)

alittle_disabled7 karma

I look at regular girls. Curvy ones, with a healthy bottom, but don't tell anyone.

Jesburger1 karma


alittle_disabled7 karma



blackmambaza1 karma

Do you miss chewing food? A friend was on a liquid diet and he starting becoming obsessed with food textures

alittle_disabled2 karma

Do you miss chewing food?

I started with baby food and bananas and bread but I still cannot drink liquids. I'd kill for a beer or even some water.