Portarossa

Hey Tim,

You've kind of been defined by your role on Parks & Rec, but you've had a long and impressive career. Is there one movie or TV show you've been in -- other than Middle Man -- that you'd recommend to people looking to see a little more of you? A performance you're particularly proud of?

I write smut for a living, and I've always found that people are really eager to talk about their sexual fantasies when they find out my job and feel that they're not going to be judged for them.

Have you found that when people find out your line of work, they open up really easily, even outside of a professional setting?

I travel extensively across the globe to work with couples (including royalty and presidential candidates) to transform their relationships from good to great.

Well, someone has to ask about that.

I'm sure you're not going to name names about your past clients, but would you say that the problems of the rich and powerful are pretty much identical to the problems faced by the average man or woman on the street? Or do they tend to include things like 'I can't get it up unless I rub caviar on my dick first'?

Has there ever been a relationship issue that you felt was just completely out of the realm of understanding for the average Joe?

In-universe: The problem isn't particularly that Christian is bad at BDSM; in fact, he's actually pretty good at BDSM (with some notable exceptions). It's made very clear time and time again that consent lies with the submissive and that everything stops when Ana says so -- and as far as I can remember, there's no point where he doesn't abide by that. He is, however, quite pushy with the whole contract thing -- but that still takes them most of a book to negotiate. If you look at the parts of the book that are BDSM-centric (less than you'd think, weirdly), there are thousands of people who live that life in a way that works for them. And that's the issue. He can't separate the Red Room out from real life.

The problem is that he's an utter shit as as a human being, even beyond the kink. He stalks her. He puts a GPS tracker on her phone. He completely disregards her wishes when it comes to spending lavish amounts of money on her. He tries to control her diet and her birth control even when she doesn't seem thrilled about it. Everything about Christian Grey the person just screams red flag.

The thing is, though, he does all of that outside the boundaries of what (it's made clear in the book) is supposed to be a very regimented relationship. He does that even when they're actively not engaging in kink. Christian isn't a bad Dom; he's a bad person, and that's why, when he's supposed to obviously be the hero in Fifty Shades Freed, it doesn't mean anything. He might get his kink 'under control' (whatever that's supposed to mean), but there's nothing to suggest he's less of a liquorice-scented prick the rest of the time. If he was a better person outside of the kink, I don't think the depiction of BDSM would have come in for quite such a beating. No pun intended.

Out of universe: The book is pretty badly written, but I've definitely read worse in the genre -- and in terms of hitting its niche ('I read Twilight and now I want something a bit more raunchy'), it's an absolute masterclass in giving the people something they didn't even know they wanted. You've kind of got to respect that.

If someone asked you to sum up New York City in three blocks, which three would they be? What's the microcosm of the New York experience?