8 Weeks Ago I (26F) Anonymously Donated the Left Lobe of my Liver to a Complete Stranger

First, thank you! Second, how much time if any did you miss from work and is it covered by time off? I could see lost wages being a barrier.

Lost wages is definitely one of the biggest barriers. I am fortunate enough to have great insurance through my work, and organ donation was the only "elective" surgery that Short Term Disability will cover. I have been off work since the first week of November and go back next Monday!

Is it wrong that I'm so desperate for time off work with pay that I might consider letting them cut off a chunk of my liver to get this?

Absolutely no judgement over here my friend.

Just realize that off time turns into recovery time... if you plan to just relax and read, take care of yourself and reset... I think this might honestly be a good direction for you. I just (as an internet stranger) don't want you worse off because you went ham during recovery, even though I imagine you might want to if you've been working steadily for awhile. Otherwise I think this is a great oppurtunity!

Anyone reading this needs to be aware that any procedure involving general anesthesia and surgery involves serious risks. It's not common, but bad things CAN happen when you go under the knife. Not trying to dissuade people from organ donation here, but people should be fully informed before making a decision like this.

I second this. A ton of thought went into this decision, and I can honestly say it didn't have anything to do with getting time off of work.

Just an FYI, your name was not blacked out completely on your proof picture.

Really?? I just looked again and I can't see it at all. Maybe i'll just delete that photo.

The black is transparant, if you turn up the brightness of your screen everything is readable

Eep! Thanks guys!! I just deleted it.

If you’re using Markup on iOS, don’t use the highlighter to mark things. Use the marker or pen and scribble a lot. The highlighter is always slightly transparent.

Fuck is it still there? I just clicked the imgur link and its gone when I looked.

Can't see it here- says the image has been deleted. You're good

Yea but the full front nude selfie they replaced it with kinda took away their anonymity.

Oh that one was on purpose.

In the future, use the shape tool instead when redacting things. It’s behind the ‘+’ button.

Thanks guys! I clearly don't do any photo editing on a regular basis haha.

Do you think you’ll ever want to meet the stranger you donated to?

I think so! Its a weird mixed emotion. I'd love to see how they have benefited from it but I also don't want them to feel indebted to me at all. I sent them a Christmas Card through my donor team at the hospital just wishing them a speedy recovery, and only signed my first name.

Thank you for doing this! My friends daughter recently was the recipient of an anonymous donor. She is 7, and it saved her life. It’s been just over a year now and currently they are in DisneyLand celebrating!

Their donor did not wish to connect with them. I know my friend felt and still feels very sad about this. She wants to say thank you. I don’t think you should worry about them feeing indebted, they will be forever grateful. Saying thank you feels almost like a closure thing.

I love this! I hope she's having the time of her life at Disney! And I have absolutely considered the idea of it being a closure type of emotion, I wouldn't want to deny someone that.

How did you feel after the donation? Do you have to make any lifestyle changes?

To be completely honest, it kind of feels like nothing happened at this point. The week in the hospital following the procedure was the hardest, I definitely had moments where I questioned my own sanity for doing it. Mentally and emotionally, because I don't know the person who has it so I can't really see the "effect" it has had one someones life, it all kind of feels like a weird distant dream.

As for lifestyle changes, I eat way less and because of that have become much more conscious of the types of foods I put in my body. Also, being bed-ridden for a few weeks also made me greatly appreciate just going outside for a walk. I was already an outdoorsy person, (hiker, backpacker) but I think now I have an even greater appreciation for my body and am grateful for the things it allows me to do!

As someone who received a full liver donation nearly 28 years ago as an infant, trust me , you're generosity is greatly appreciated. Personally, I've been able to live a full and pretty normal life minus some hospital visits here and there, mostly related to the disease I was born with, not the transplant. I played sports in High School, graduated college, all the normal stuff people do with hardly any restrictions.

​

I admire what you did and encourage you to keep spreading the word about organ donation. It's a problem that can be solved so simply, but there's so much ignorance surrounding it.

This makes me so happy!

Are you eating less because you just aren’t hungry after this surgery or is that something that you have to do for recovery?

I'm just not as hungry, and eating any large portion really ends up being painful so its just not worth it. I generally have smaller snacks throughout the day instead of 3 solid meals.

Will you still be able to hike/backpack? What types of exercise (or body movement in general) are you restricted to? Did you speak to a dietician in regards of healthy eating?

I actually went hiking this past weekend! Nothing crazy, but enough to feel confident that i'll be back to 100% in no time. My only restrictions were to not lift anything over 10 lbs and not to over-exert my core (much more challenging then it sounds lol.)

Are you expected to make a 100% recovery? Or will you have som impairments for the rest of your life?

100% recovery is the expectation and the goal!

I just looked into doing this. I love the idea of being so selfless.

According to the NHS; There is a small risk of death for the donor: this is estimated at 1 person in every 200 (for right lobe donation) or 1 in 500 (for left lobe donation).

I’m not sure I like those odds... How did you feel about the potential risk of death?

That statistic thoroughly freaked me the fuck out. However, after reviewing the stats at my particular hospital and seeing that not only have they done more living donor procedures than almost all other hospitals in the US, they had only lost 2 donors ever, I just had a lot of confidence in my medical team.

If you don't mind sharing, what hospital/surgeon did you go to? I'm open to the idea of donating, but I'm also nervous. I like the odds you mentioned

I'll PM you

I'm astounded by the selflessness of this. Were you worried about surgical complications?

I was. My donor team was amazing and made it clear through the entire process that I could back out at any time. I went through many ups and downs during the whole screening process. I joined a FB group for living organ donors and received a ton of encouragement from people who had already gone through the process. I guess in the end I just had a tremendous amount of faith in my medical team and the surgeon.

What motivated you to do such a selfless act?

Hi! I'm going to copy/paste an excerpt from another comment:

I struggled with depression and PTSD for many years, was constantly suicidal and truly thought I would never get better. I eventually got the help I needed and in the past few years can honestly say for the first time that I love life and I don't want to die. Its an incredible feeling. I started going out more, meeting new people, traveling, taking up new hobbies - just really living life to the fullest. It felt like a second chance. And when I thought about all of that in context of potentially donating to someone, I decided that I wanted someone else to have a second chance too. It felt full-circle, if that makes sense. So I went ahead and booked the surgery.

I don't know you but I love you. Have you thought about the fact that you did you NOT commit suicide resulted in you literally saving someone else's life by virtue of this donation? Who knows how many more lives you'll touch because of the fact that you're alive. I don't know you but I love you.

Thank you so much! I hadn't really considered that, but it is definitely a nice thought.

Do you drink? If so, how did that affect the donation process?

Also re: the photos, those are pretty gnarly. Did a family member take them, or did you ask the medical staff to? I'm kinda surprised they allowed it at all.

Edit: Is that your spine in the operation photos?! It's been a while since I've taken anything anatomy related.

Not OP's spine. Your spine is retroperitoneal (so unless they went digging shouldn't be visible

What you see in the photos are

1. abdominal retractors holding the abdomen open - in shorter surgeries the retractor is held by the most junior doctor (a great honour if you're a med student, annoying pain in the arm if you're a trainee), in surgeries like this, the retractors are on a frame screwed into the table.

2. just below the retractor is subcutaneous fat and the fascial layer (and peritoneal layer but not exactly visible as separate layers).

3. The red bit is a loop - loops can be used to delineate objects - sometimes tiny loops placed round vessels to ensure you remain aware of them, bigger loops can be round the organ

Inside the abdomen

1. in the foreground is the liver which is in the process of separating the lobes.

2. The thin white thing on the liver is the falciform ligament.

3. at the top, pale pink is the diaphram (as viewed from below)

4. to the top right of the pictures the yellow bits are omentum (the policeman of the abdomen)

Thank you for this! I didn't even know most of this myself.

I do drink! I love going to breweries and enjoy making craft cocktails at home. I had to stop drinking for 3 months before the surgery.. as for after the surgery. There are a lot of different time frames doctors put out there. The most conservative is a year, the most lenient I heard was basically as soon as you're off the post-op meds. I have had several check ups and labs for liver function since, and my doctor said my numbers look almost like nothing happened. I had some prosecco for Christmas but have otherwise been trying to abstain.

I asked my surgeon and the surgical nurse to take them for me right before I went under! and I have no idea if that is my spine, if it is that's pretty gnarly! haha

Can you donate a liver to pretty much anyone, or are there strict screenings for “compatibility” as with other organs?

I believe you can only donate liver mass once, right? Did it cross your mind at all what’d you’d do if a close friend or family member needs a liver donation in the future.

Very cool thing to have done btw, thanks

Not OP but most altruistic donations of organs come with a 'front of the line pass' for family members or yourself in the future.

(I looked into this a few years ago regarding donating a kidney and asked what would happen if a parent needed one and I was no longer able to donate)

Thank you for that information. I knew you would get this "pass" for yourself , but not for family. Basically the only reason I was sceptical, might consider donation again now/ in the future!

I donated a kidney to a stranger earlier this month and got 5 family passes so they go to the head of the line in the unlikely event they need a kidney. The National Kidney Registry has info on it on their site if you ate interested in learning more.

This is awesome!

The screening process was months long. I went through more physical/physiological screening than I ever had in my life. The left lobe of your liver is smaller than the right, so for compatibility the person who receives it would either be a child or a very petite adult.

To be completely honest, I didn't consider the family/friends issue until about a week before the procedure. I just hope that never becomes the case.

Did they tell you how long it would be before it grows back?

At the one year mark we will do another full CT scan to see the progress. As far as I know, most of the regrowth actually happens in the first 3 months.

I donated ~70% of my liver back in 2012, took about 45 days to grow back

That's awesome! I hope you and your recipient are doing well!

Kidney donor to my sister. I’m curious how you came to the decision to donate? I felt amazing doing my donation because I saw how much my sister was almost instantly. I’m sure I’d be desperate to know the outcome for the lucky recipient. It’s a kind of weird feeling thinking a bit of me is inside my sister working away. How do you feel about that ? Best of luck in your recovery, take your time to heal.

Hi! Your sister is lucky to have you! I posted about the entire process in another comment, if you can find it.

I am really curious to know how my recipient is doing, I think about them often- which is weird because I don't know them haha. It is really cool to think someone out there is carrying a piece of me around, I hope it serves them well. :)

thank you so much for doing this. whoever the recipient is, you have given them more than just a liver. you have given them more laughs, more happiness, more experiences, more memories, more moments with the outdoors. you have given them so much.

my step dad needs a liver transplant, without one, he will die. we find out in february exactly how long doctors expect him to live. i’m scared every day that he will die before he gets the chance for a liver transplant. he is the kindest, most thoughtful person i’ve ever met in my life. he will be missed so much. i know that whoever was the recipient of your liver is so, so grateful to you for allowing them a second chance at life. thank you for bringing awareness to this. thank you so much.

were your friends and family supportive of your decision?

I truly hope he gets the liver he needs. I can't imagine that feeling of needing something like that so desperately, waiting for the call every day. Sending you and your step-dad so much love! <3

This is so cool! Was this something you’ve always wanted to do? Did you get paid?

Thanks! I did not get paid, however I did not have to pay for the procedure itself, hospital stay, or medications.
It wasn't something that ever crossed my mind until I saw a post online about a woman who needed a liver donor, I started reading about it and became pretty fascinated!

If there were complications that required future medications or surgeries, would that also be covered for you?

Yes, anything directly related.

What was your thought process in deciding to do this?

I'll give the whole background story and hopefully answer other questions in the process:

I was browsing online and saw a post about a woman who was looking for a live liver donor. It piqued my interest, so I visited some of the linked websites purely out of curiosity. I admittedly can be a very idealistic person, and just kind of thought, "Well if you CAN do this for someone, why wouldn't you?" (I learned the many reasons why later haha.) A few days went by and I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I went back to the original story and followed a link to the hospital's transplant site and requested some more information. A few days later I got a call from the transplant coordinator, who sent me some more detailed information and said if I wanted to do a preliminary screening I could go to any local blood-draw lab and she would send in an order, completely free of charge and at my leisure. So I was like, "eh, why not? what are the chances I would even qualify?" Basically just humoring myself. So I did the labs, and about a week later got another call saying that based on the basic screen, I was a potential candidate and asked if was I interested in continuing this process. I needed some time to really seriously consider it and told them as much, so I took my time. I read everything I could find online about living donation, and got in touch with people who had donated previously. My partner was definitely skeptical but said if I was serious about it he was behind me 100%.

Before I went any further, I contacted my HR Dept. and asked if this would even be a possibility, it was. So I called the transplant coordinator back and we scheduled a full evaluation, two full days at the hospital with pretty much every test you could imagine, and a psychological evaluation. I met with a social worker, psychiatrist, dietitian, a Hepatologist and the surgeon. The team was incredible and so upfront with be about everything, and repeatedly told me that I could back out at any point, even on the operating table. After all of this, the team got together and discussed if they thought I would be a good candidate. They decided I was.

Months had gone by at this point and I truly spent every day researching, discussing and considering if this was really something I wanted to do, and more importantly WHY I wanted to do it.

I struggled with depression and PTSD for many years, was constantly suicidal and truly thought I would never get better. I eventually got the help I needed and in the past few years can honestly say for the first time that I love life and I don't want to die. Its an incredible feeling. I started going out more, meeting new people, traveling, taking up new hobbies - just really living life to the fullest. It felt like a second chance. And when I thought about all of that in context of potentially donating to someone, I decided that I wanted someone else to have a second chance too. It felt full-circle, if that makes sense. So I went ahead and booked the surgery.

Just wanted to say thank you for your altruism. I'm a living donor recipient myself, just had my 10th liverversarry in September. Love the surgery pics, that is a very nice looking liver!

If your recipient reaches out to you, will you respond or do you prefer to remain completely anonymous? How are you feeling? Did you gave any interesting anatomy? (My aunt had a third bile duct!)

That's amazing! I'm so happy you got what you needed and are doing well all of these years later. :)

Yes, i'll respond if they reach out. I kind of hope they do, just so I can know how they are doing.

I'm curious to ask "why"? Why did you do this?

Reason for my question. A month ago, my wife started dialysis for chronic kidney failure. We've known this day would come for about 10 years or so. We just didn't know it would be NOW. She's on two lists for transplant. Wait time is unknown as she's type O blood. In the meantime, as her husband, I feel like I should be first in line to see if I'm a candidate for her. I'm healthy. No drugs or alcohol...or anything. Weight is maintained through regular exercise. Everything I know about myself tells me I'd be a perfect candidate. But I can't bring myself to even test to see if I can. She doesn't deserve that. And it's selfish of me. But it scares the shit out of me.

It's not selfish. It is a really scary thing to do, and you are the only one who can make that decision.

Part of the reason I decided to go ahead with it is because i'm young and otherwise healthy. I knew that as a 26yo my chances of bouncing back quickly would be pretty high. I do know that kidney transplants are extremely common, so statistically speaking as long as you have no other underlying issues, you'd have a pretty high chance of success. That is mental reasoning though, not emotional. I would suggest going online and looking for some discussion groups so you can hear from people who have experienced something similar. If you talk to the transplant dept. at the hospital your wife is at, they may be able to help you find one. Just try to remember, you don't owe your wife a kidney, only your support through this process.

I wish you and your wife the best of luck.

So, am I right in assuming that it's "If you cannot see the toast, both sides are buttered"?

.. or maybe its just bread.

Did you do it for the upvotes? Just kidding. Thanks kind human being.

Haha damn, you got me.

Would you do it again if you could?

If you had asked me the first week of recovery, no. It was awful. Now that the worst is over? Absolutely.

What was bad about the first week of recovery?

The pain was incredible. I was given opioids at the hospital, but the problem is meds like that cause crazy constipation. My digestive system was already completely out of whack, and going a week without shitting while your entire belly is swollen and you have a giant ass incision down your abdomen is no fucking fun at all. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but that actually made me cry on several occasions.

Do you know if the recipient needed the liver due to illness or from alcohol abuse? Probably an unpopular viewpoint here, but personally I value my own life too much to do this or recommend doing so. For someone I loved, I could get there, but risking my life for an unknown stranger I couldn’t. Thats just being honest, I’m not knocking your decision I should also add.

I totally respect your honesty and its a completely reasonable thought. I considered this prior to surgery, and its something I discussed with my medical team. I don't know the reason. Essentially, regardless of why you're on the list, you need to be fit for surgery. If someone was on the list due to alcohol abuse, that person would have to be completely recovered from their addiction. I was told that they wouldn't operate on someone they didn't think would have a great chance of being successful and they handpicked my recipient. I hope that answers your question!

I donated my liver to my father 8 months ago. You have something very brave and that to a stranger. But your cut is very different than mine, maybe because of the lobe. Was your reciepent a child? I think left lobe liver transplantation is performed on a child.

Hi fellow donor! Your dad is lucky to have you!

I know surgeons have different methods and i've seen a few different looking incisions. The left lobe is smaller, so I was told that my recipient would either be a child or a petite adult.

Hey, congratulations on saving someone's live! Do you feel like a hero when you think about it?

Another question, do you consider your scar ugly? Do you think it might negatively impact your sex life?

Have you told about it your family before the procedure? Were they supportive or the opposite?

Hey thanks! I kind of touched on this in a previous comment but i'll add a bit more. I think because I don't know who has it and what it as done for their life, it really almost feels as if nothing has happened. Now that the worst of the recovery is over I don't really feel anything about it. Sometimes when I think of it as an abstract idea i'm like, "hey yeah! that was pretty fuckin' cool!"

I don't love my scar. I also realize that at 2 months out this is not what its going to look like forever. I actually had a breast reduction when i was 18, and those scars are so faded now, I'm thinking it will eventually get to that point. I considered the sex-life question a lot. I am in a long-term relationship right now and its something I talked to him about extensively before the procedure. He assured me that if a scar was going to change his opinion of my body that I should probably be dating someone else haha. This is kind of personal but he actually randomly kisses it sometimes when i'm laying in bed (I sleep in the buff.) If we were to ever break-up I hope I would find someone that loves the way I look regardless.

I told very few people about my decision. I don't have a good relationship with my parents to begin with (I have zero contact with my mother,) so I chose to keep it to myself. I only told my dad two weeks ago and his response was, "Oh.. huh. That's nice." I have quite a few half and step siblings (no full) and only told 3 of them and asked them to keep it to themselves. The only person I really discussed this with beforehand was my partner, as he would be the one most directly effected. I told him that it was just as much his choice as it was mine, since I have no family around and he would be my primary caregiver/the most emotionally impacted by my decision.

Where did you have this done? How long did the process take for you? Do you know if you're part of a chain or pair exchange?

Thank you for being an organ donor! My dad is almost 1 year post-kidney transplant and by chance he matched a deceased donor - it was a long process as my sisters and I tested for it and ultimately didn't have to give. We had to push hard to get the admin team to test us and move the process along!

UCHealth in Colorado.

I'd say the process overall was around 6 months? As far as I know i'm not in a pair or exchange, the donor team selected my recipient. I'm so happy your dad got the kidney he needed, I wish him and your family many more happy years together!

I read somewhere that you can only donate once in a lifetime. Can you confirm or refute? I assume your docs would have talked to you about that?

I'm not sure if it would be impossible, but I think finding a surgeon willing to do it would be pretty difficult!

Would you rather fight 1 horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?

horse sized duck for sure

Do you know why the other person needed the transplant, or was that kept completely private?

Thank you for doing this. I lost my dad 18 years ago to a liver disease that basically needed a liver transplant to be survivable and he was never matched with anyone.

It was kept private. They can choose to share that with me if/when they ever decide to contact me.

I'm sorry about your dad, I imagine it to feel like a very helpless situation to be in.

First, wow! You are an amazing human being. Absolutely amazing!

My question: did the surgeons explain why the incision had to be so large? Obviously they're taking something out and need room. I'm curious, but not curious enough to click the link for the "procedure" photos.

Again, you. are. AMAZING.

I know surgeons vary on the way they operate, incisions included. My surgeon told me she prefers to cut down the middle because your core muscles aren't as effected in comparison to an incision on your side. I also wasn't about to ask her to try a new method! haha

Is the recipient allowed to contact you?

They can request correspondence through our respective social workers at the hospital. I can then decide if i'd like to receive it or not.

How long was the process from "im going to donate" to "okay my livers gone"? Ive considered donating but the whole process scares me away (because Im lazy mostly lol)

I think it was about 6 months total!

Hi there! I'm in works to give my mother a bit of my liver...

I'm a heavy (weed) vaper, and quit the moment I found out she needed it (Nov 19th). Do you recall that being a factor mentioned by the doctor? I'm terrified it will exclude me.

Hi! That's amazing!

I have tried a number of drugs over the years and told the donor team. In my case, it had been a long time since I partook in anything, and based on the tests I didn't have any long-term damage from them so it was fine. The only thing I can think of is maybe you have diminished lung capacity due to smoking..? I truly don't think it will exclude you, just be honest with your medical team! I wish you and your mother the best of luck, let me know how things turn out!

Why ?

Take a name off the transplant list.

Did you get anything is return?

I would have claimed the Right of Secret or Prima Nocta.

People like you are pretty rare... Are you religious or do have some underlying creed or philosophy that led you to this decision?

I'll work on leveraging my experience for some government secrets ;)

I am an atheist actually. I grew up in an extreme (you could say cult-like) religion and left as soon as I could. I lost a lot of my family/friends over that decision and went through a pretty serious period of depression. I was extremely suicidal by the time I got the help I needed. I actually never thought I would get to a point in my life where I was happy and it felt like I was given a second chance. I wanted someone else to have a second chance too.

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First of all, thank you for being a donor! Secondly, what are the long and short term effects of a liver lobe donation? I've heard that liver donations are harder on the donor than the recipient, but haven't followed up on how or why.

Short term: The surgery itself is very invasive and the recovery process has been no joke. I was in the hospital for one week post-op. The swelling was awful, my digestive system was completely out of whack, and I was in a lot of pain. Obviously, every time you go under general anesthesia there is an inherent risk and my donor team was very clear that death is always a possibility (albeit small.)

Long term: The liver is an amazing organ and it regenerates itself!!! The Gallbladder had to be removed as part of the process, that is really the only long-term issue.