Hey guys,

I'm not doing this to attention whore or to "establish myself as some sort of e-stud"

If anything I think I can teach you about a world where all that appears to glitter isn't always gold.

quick background: started stripping when I lived in NYC at the advice of someone who worked out at my gym. This was back in 2000 I worked on and off (kinda like a off season/on season type deal) since August 28th 2010 when I quit forever due to me being sick of being sent on "blind calls"....at least, I think I quit forever because money is getting tight.

rather than purge my thoughts...I'll allow you to ask me anything

I will say this--that job is kinda like your parents house....it's great to visit but you don't want to stay to long

Mods- i don't know what proof to submit...we don't have ID cards and we get paid in cash hence no paystubs...I can submit work safe promo pics...let me know

PICS http://s17.postimg.org/hwbpvjt33/safe2.jpg http://s10.postimg.org/y4b30ampl/safe1.jpg


EDIT 2: btw- i think it is pretty thinly veiled (or not) that i'm kinda sorta hoping some produce, director, comic book artist, rich old broad (or rich old queen given how desperate I am) will read this and maybe shoot me a project.....DM me on the reddit and let me know what you got....as you can tell by reading this (seriously- you fucking read all of this?!) that I'm pretty witty

Comments: 1668 • Responses: 72  • Date: 

krippling908 karma

Have you ever jumped out of a huge cake?

johnnynoname121167 karma

never....how dare you make a mockery of this


Daringest_do325 karma


johnnynoname12412 karma

lol...never jumped out of a cake

Maslover51117 karma

Have you ever jumped into one?

johnnynoname12768 karma

I did....then I ended up in this laboratory and promises of cake

Misfitt648 karma

Send photo

johnnynoname12332 karma

mod has a pic..he can post it if he wants

sendenten705 karma

It's a reference to the Madonna AMA we had the other day, actually! She kept saying "send photo" to anyone who asked to hang out haha.

johnnynoname12607 karma

understood...I wasn't hip to that meme

worldchaos613 karma

I can vouch for you. I knew some popular male revues in vegas and they were always on the coke, had alot of money issues..sleeping with women who one even offered them an old nice mustang. Lucky the hotel they were performing at paid their room and board or they would probably be poor and living in it. I saw their lives and didn't look very healthy.

johnnynoname12624 karma

there is nothing more I can say because you already said it for me

UnholyDemigod512 karma

How often did you find yourself getting a hard on while performing? What would you do in that situation?

johnnynoname121025 karma

as for the "what would you do in that situation"...there are times where I didn't wear a "tye off" and would naturally get hard

fact is- this is a "sex job" so if anything I would use my boner to my advantage...like, hang a towel that I brought with me with it or just have stick it in some ladies face...not very creative but what else am i gonna do with it--paint?

johnnynoname12811 karma

this is a tricky one because I would employ what is commonly known as a "tye off"

I'm in the "adult industry" subreddit so I assume I can go into more "graphic" description here

with that prefaced a tye off (if you havent' googled it already) is when you beat off before a show to a point where you have nice "girth" and then you LIGHTLY tye a rubber band around the base of your dick....this greatly enhances the size of your dick and kinda give your dick that "sausage in it's casing" look

so you have nice size however it kinda sorta makes it difficult to get a legit, straight boner...

also (and not to blame recreational drugs but truth be told..)most of the time I was working I was usually under the influence of somesort of recreation drug....couple that with the fact that you may have some self esteem issues and couple that with the fact that you want to get done as fast as you can because you are disgusted with what you do sometimes...well- that makes a synergy for limp city

I didn't proof read that so if i'm unclear about something please let me know

UnholyDemigod259 karma

with that prefaced a tye off (if you havent' googled it already) is when you beat off before a show to a point where you have nice "girth" and then you LIGHTLY tye a rubber band around the base of your dick....this greatly enhances the size of your dick and kinda give your dick that "sausage in it's casing" look

I've heard that professional sprinters do the exact same thing, because they're being watched by (in some cases) a billion people while wearing skintight clothing. I can't imagine that would be good for you long term if you do it a lot

johnnynoname12340 karma

it's suggested that you keep it on for 30 minutes max ...it absolutely do alot of damage

I'll be honest....towards the end of my last "run" i was like "fuck it- i'm no wearing a tye off....I just want to do my gig, go home, do drug of choice at the time (if I was doing drugs) and sleep"....i just didn't care...just wanted to get paid

TeamJim144 karma

So a cock ring?

johnnynoname12392 karma

less rigid (as well as less creppy) than a cock ring

it's like a "cock tourniquet"

Pufflepuff832 karma

I would venture to say a "cock tourniquet" is more creepy.

johnnynoname12456 karma

it sounds like something that is too working class to be considered in a Mapplethorpe picture but just right for some shitheads art show in trendy part of Berlin/Austin

meghan151993329 karma

Have you ever ended up hooking up with one or more of your customers?

johnnynoname12525 karma

numerous times and I can say that all those instances the women (No men) were literally all drunk

in my case no woman with any self worth or sobriety would hook up with a stripper....again- in my case.......i'm no nebbish (fuck- i've been in a calender) but any woman of self worth would bother

i'm a swarthy, sleazy POS :)

I'm like that character that married Rodney Dangerfield's daughter in "Easy Money" ("Can I call you "Dad" ") but with abs

squiggley400 karma

Okay I'm a woman, who just so happens to have a soft spot for and adore swarthy, sleazy pos type men. I know you've gotten around and know that you know what you are doing. Plus, as a stripper, you would have a body that drives me wild. But this certainly doesn't mean I have no "self worth".

Or, maybe I need to re-evaluate my sex life....

johnnynoname12721 karma

quite, mom

EDIT: quiet, mom

mushperv69 karma

An Easy Money reference? Awesome.

I love when Joe Pesci runs out on the track, chasing the jockey.

johnnynoname1282 karma

i love that movie....

EDIT: i don't know how men my age have never seen it or "King of Comedy"

mushperv47 karma

Im 35. My buddies and I were gambling degenerates in college so Easy Money was a favorite.

johnnynoname12140 karma

since when did artie lange post on reddit and why is he lying about his age?

genpell313 karma

What do you find is the main difference between male and female strippers ? ( example... money, treatment, respect )

johnnynoname12547 karma

I understand your question which is why I'll answer it with this first: I think alot of people may assume that we all share a lockerroom at stipper central where we share war stories- not the case at all

I point this out only because any answer I give is solely from how I assume it is different from women and not from word of mouth from a female performer

However I do know that women make more money because anytime you work in any sex industry 95 percent of your clientele is always men and men (whether gay or straight) are easy marks

now for a straight woman it is easy for them to make good money stripping for men

HOWEVER for a straight man they can make a good money working female crowds however the real good money is to go against there natural sexual orientation and do gay stuff.....so a main difference is that there is a lot less comprimise when it comes to your core audience and the money you will make

there is alot of other stuff (women have vagina's, men have penis, yaddad yadda) but i think that is the main one that comes to my head at 851 am)

MyNameIsAPhrase433 karma


johnnynoname121242 karma

brother- I went to public school so that's as far as i can go in terms of what I know

Modspot367 karma

... and now I'm imagining you as Hulk Hogan.

johnnynoname12545 karma

"brother" is a part of my real life lexicon

I don't know if i used "lexicon" in the right context

emanomaly203 karma

You did!

johnnynoname12409 karma

pats self on back like Barry horrowitz

lolzsupbrah118 karma

OH SHIT. Horowitz reference!!

johnnynoname12209 karma

should I mention that coincidentally Rick Rude was one of my favorite wrestlers growing up

lanadelstingrey8 karma

You did!

johnnynoname1221 karma

barry horrowitz tap on the back

Reddit_Bork1 karma

You made the lexicon your "Skip". Good job.

johnnynoname121 karma

there is gonna be a joke about dying when your life finally started turning around but i'm not going there

squiggles3257 karma


johnnynoname12421 karma

I'll only speak in my experience in terms of pay

revue show- I've never made less than 100 dollars between tips and base pay..however I've made up to 350 for a night....and i'm no lorenzo lamas

average day: during the week you live your life...come friday and saturday you are on call like a fucking doctor if you work for a agency....and sometimes you are doing multiple calls on one night so you are zipping across cities to make gigs...you're driving, checking your text,, looking at map quest all at like 80 miles a hour and making sure that my tear away pants are completely re buttoned up from your last gig...THAT ALONE WILL MAKE WHAT SEEMS TO BE "FUN" IN TO A "PAIN IN THE ASS"

Physical requirements: there is assumption of what a performer should look like (nice tan, nice physique, perfect smile etc) HOWEVER you'll be shocked at what owner of a agency/revue will hire...that's why- when in doubt just submit a pic because what you don't see in yourself someone might see something

and I'll say this about considering doing this--if you do do it just do it for a short time and make your money and then quit.....I honestly abhored my decision to have done this as long as I have....I'm sure i'll be explaining this more and more as this goes on

redquark208 karma

What made you decide to quit? Was there a moment of realisation or did it build up over time?

johnnynoname12599 karma

I had a "i'm getting too old for this shit" moment in the summer of 2010 when I got kicked out of woman's house because I wasn't "hispanic looking enough"....apparently she wanted someone who looked "Dominican".....I can't make this stuff up...

i had to change outside in the fucking street when I got kicked out...fortunately the street had no street lights

RawrImABigScaryBear193 karma

I'm a straight male but have always wanted to do an amateur night. Any advice for something like this?

johnnynoname121065 karma

don't do it lol

litzer174 karma

Ever show up to a gig and see someone you knew?

johnnynoname12285 karma

kinda sorta in 09.....someone took a pic of a show of mine and a person who worked at my legit job as a trainer at a gym saw said pics and kinda sorta spread the word...didn't matter because my boss was a cool guy......other than that I had nothing like that happen

center62155 karma

Did you ever have sex with any of your female clients?

johnnynoname12300 karma

of course---a lot of drunk blow jobs (YES--just like on the porn sites) not as much penetration after a show because I was always in a hurry to get out and go home or I was under the influence to point that i couldn't get hard enough to stick into a orifice

center62227 karma

So say hypothetically a guys girlfriend goes out to a male strip club, whats the hypothetical probability that she gives a stripper a drunk bj? Hypothetically

johnnynoname12517 karma

there are alot factors there - how drunk she is - what kinda friends she has with her because her friends are ALWAYS the ultimate cockblock to getting a drunk BJ - How pissed of she is with her BF because fact is if a woman is in a happy, fullfilling relationship with a man she wouldn't even entertain the idea of blowing a stripper (drunk or not)

Jaw_knee62 karma

What's the story about the hookup ?

johnnynoname12206 karma

lol at "the" as in "just the one"

there were SEVERAL drunk blowjobs that were a "slurp or two"...not to brag but truth be told there was those a plenty

there was also more than a few "pump and dumps" in bathrooms or best friends bedrooms.....again- not to play "internetz foremz stud" but these were all very Groundhogs day like...nothing differientated one from the other

outtie142 karma

This is an interesting AMA so far so thanks for doing it.
Some of your answers make me a little sad, so here's a hug for you. hug

johnnynoname12292 karma

hopefully you won't catch anything from e-hugging me

bharatpatel89130 karma

I have no question I just wanted to say this AmA has been really cool, and a really enlightening, fun, and funny read. Your responses have been absolutely direct and have a great undercurrent of charm. If we ever cross paths I owe you a beer man.

johnnynoname12205 karma

just don't touch my penis :)

JustTrying2BAwesome121 karma

Did you ever have to do dirty things in a creepy backroom with a pervey old man?

johnnynoname12205 karma

no....I didn't do as much "gay club" work as people would assume...so as a stripper/go-go boy? no...I tried to keep the flirting light whenever I had to do gay gigs or latch on to the many straight women who would come to the club

....HOWEVER...that doesn't mean I didn't have a foray with "creepy old men"....I don't know how frank I can be on reddit but there is a incident that occurred in 2009 that would be a perfect answer for this question

lordborghild231 karma


johnnynoname12355 karma

i had a Model Mayhem profile....in my description I had (dumbly--if that's a word) mention that I did strip

a guy asked me if I was interested in being on a start up website that would give gay men a first person view of lap dance and then finish off by beating off....

the guy gave me a great rate to meet me in the big city near me....

anyway, i showed up to the hotel and of course I was stoned and wasn't very hungry so I didn't eat...I weighed like 160 pounds....I was fucking shredded but like Iggy pop shreded...it was "attractive" but not healthy

I preface this because when you are that point you CAN'T GET HARD!!!

back to the story... i go to the room....camera guy was there...the guy who offered me the job was there...I started performing...I COULDN"T GET HARD....

Long story short after alot of attempts I still couldn't get hard (even with two levitras in me) so the "producer" (who was totally cool about it) sent the camera guy home....I apologized to the producer with the whole " i didn't know how this could happen" thing

"you want me to suck on it- maybe that will work?"

now- I already had that money spent in my head--it was gonna go towards rent and a nice pair of Diesel jeans (#FirstWorlder) so I was like "i'm not gonna get paid for the shoot but maybe he'll pay me for blowing me".....

"yeah sure" i said

...it was all teeth (sorry guys) and i got even limper (damn you heterosexuality)

"i can't do this- sorry"

producer offered me 300 bucks for my troubles....I didn't take it

joe-ducreux85 karma

I'm assuming a "blind call" is one where you have very little info about the client/party (please correct me if I'm wrong). If that's the case, why isn't there better vetting?

johnnynoname12177 karma

"blind call" isn't a "industry term"...it's a term I made up for whenever a agency doesn't have a current pic of you on file or on the website and they send you out on a call without the client really knowing what you look like

this does happen and it puts you as the performer at a huge disadvantage because say the client doesn't think you're "hispanic looking enough" like they described to the agency owner..think of it though....you wan't "vanilla" and you end up getting "chocolate" even though you implicitly ordered Vanilla

Frozen_Time81 karma

What was your strangest experience while working? I don't know what a normal day was like for you but is there any particular time something weird happened?

johnnynoname12195 karma

honestly (for me at least) things were very Groundhogs day like with each gig

however I do remember almost getting my nipple bitten off in Glens Falls NY.....a couple of years later I was like "that was the town my parents took me to see my first WWF show when I was a kid and it was my happiest childhood memory and then would later be the site of me getting maimed so I could make money to put up my nose"

EDIT:....there was also the time I got a blowjob from a woman who looked like Terry Gordy in PA

that was odd for me

negativeyoda64 karma

I live in PA. Can confirm that there are some hosebeasts that live here

johnnynoname1260 karma

this incident happened in a small resort town called Shaholah falls...i think it was near scranton or one of the those major PA cities that aren't Philly or pittsburgh

Lachmanifesto6 karma

And now a Freebirds reference..... I'm a bit disappointed that you haven't gotten around to working in a Rick Rude reference.

johnnynoname1214 karma

sadly- the reference is valid because this bitch really looked like Terry Gordy....FACE AND BODY

throwaway12682 karma

Well, shit. My hometown. This may have gotten a little awkward...

johnnynoname121 karma

the name of the place was "dream street" or something like that

demboots81 karma

Did you ever have to strip completely naked?

johnnynoname12212 karma

absolutely....however you have to feel it out to where it's appropriate to do so or not...

if you are in a apartement with a female crowd you have to feel it out because YOU ARE A STRANGER and while you are being hired YOU ARE STILL A STRANGER...women (some) will get offended by nudity which is weird because you are next to nothing around the end anyway

if you are working at a bar YOU CAN NOT get naked because of liquor license laws

in front of men-- you can get naked but as a straight man I would have nothing to show because I can't get hard for men....not homophobic...just straight

there are alot of things I left out above that i'm sure I'll answer in more detail later

strippermedic78 karma

Female stripper here. I've stripped in both America and Australia, and I wanted to point out a few things.

OP, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy this work and felt that being high or under the influence made it easier. Most of the people I have met in this industry genuinely enjoy it. There are times when it is tough, and times when you need a holiday, but a healthy career stripping is a viable option for many people.

While I understand that having sexual encounters with your clients is more prevalent in the male stripping industry, I have never worked in a club or been to an event where any of the strippers I worked with had sex with a client (unless she genuinely wanted a relationship). It does happen, but no where near as often as you guys would like to think ;)

Lastly, you keep talking about drugs. Drugs are in every industry, including stripping. I see a LOT of alcohol, and I saw a little bit of coke in America, but if you start needing drugs to work you're not going to last long. Hence most of us don't really do them anymore than non-strippers do. Our favourite drug is usually caffeine.

Thanks for the AMA, OP - even though it does portray the industry in what I believe to be an unfairly negative light, these are still your experiences and completely valid.

Edit: I accidentally a letter.

johnnynoname12122 karma

honestly- I can't disagree with anything you said...

and yes a "healthy career stripping" is possible...however the operative word is "healthy"....in order to have a "health career" in anything the person themselves should be "healthy"

however lets not make any bones about it--this "industry" (no matter how much fun it is) can be a gateway to alot of bad if the person doesn't make the right choices...we can agree on that- right?

and no- the same can not be said about other industry's...you think that selling car insurance is a gatway to selling crack

btw- please do not take my response in a combative tone

unknownfy2470 karma

so what's your favorite food?

johnnynoname12392 karma

Asian fusion.....that is- if you really care......also- I love cereal....I'll cut a nigga for a bowl of Raisin bran crunch

seamonkey1981122 karma

fuck, this dude is hilarious.

johnnynoname12157 karma

how dare you say i'm smart


sapperdeboere68 karma

What's the wierdest group/person you've preformed for?

johnnynoname12138 karma

this comes out of "Penthouse letters" but a group of teachers (female) at a bacherlorette party....

also- men....duh lol

did I date myself with the "penthouse letters" reference?

bluvalor63 karma

Were there any gigs that were truly enjoyable? Ones that you still think about today and make you want to return to the industry?

johnnynoname12218 karma

no.....not the one

actually- there was one and the only thing I remember about it was the fact that i LITERALLY brought home the money I made in a Walmart bag

I felt like Scrooge McDuck with a fake tan and a Adam Lambert haircut that night

other than that I, in retrospect, the fact that I ever stripped as long as I did....I realized that all those weekends I lost I could have been on LEGIT dates with girls that I could have cultivated deep relationships with

smithie1563 karma

Did your family find out? What was their reaction? I'm curious if it is similar to what I imagine the family reaction of a female stripper would be- shock, and shame for no longer being "pure."

johnnynoname12157 karma

never...mostly because a) I had a legit day job during most of the time I was stripping that would act as a means to "launder" my extra income b) my parents are extremely laizzez faire (big word, huh) when it came to some of my affairs c) a good amount of time I was working this job I lived 120 miles a way from my parent d) when I did move closer to my parents and they asked about my part time job I would tell them I was a "DJ".

Litterer62 karma

How accurate is Magic Mike to the real male stripping world?

johnnynoname12345 karma

I'm a straight man therefore I had no reason to see that movie...Plus even if i did I see it I would have been like "What the fuck!!When is this guy gonna stop swinging his cock and pull a rabbit out of the hat?!"

....see, that was a magic joke

kayoro61 karma

I feel like you have a pretty bad outlook on this career, how do you feel about those strippers (men or women) who actually do it and enjoy it? I feel like there are very opposite outlooks on it. Did you ever enjoy it at one point or was it all negative for you?

johnnynoname12145 karma

I can't speak for other people...much like some people like Kimchi some people hate it

for me- the long term effects of stripping outweighed the short term pay day....

the only reason I enjoyed it was because of the money (that I used to buy things I didn't need) and the instant gratification and feeling of worth I got that was missing from my real sex life as well as whatever voids I had from being a product of divorce and being in the shadow of my dad who was apparently this big handsome stud (/cliche)

kayoro41 karma

Brings up another question: Did you hold a LT relationship at all during this time? How did the position affect your love life?

If you don't answer... I hope you grow from the effects and live a happy life :) Thanks for answering!

johnnynoname1299 karma

i had NO LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS during these times....I was too tired and too busy to go out and meet normal women...plus, I was so emotionally immature that I didn't know what I wanted until recently honestly

as weird as this sounds but I'm glad that I didn't become so jaded that I couldn't find the ability to actually love somebody and know what I REALLY wanted

now the hard part (as for alot of people) is actually finding that person and actually having to compromise sometimes...but i think that is not a plight that is unique to me so I'm not gonna really expand on that here as we all have that

delightful_anus_cube58 karma

I have heard many tales of female strippers being abused by creepy clients, have you ever had a case where a customer was abusive/rude?

johnnynoname12144 karma

nipple biting incident in Glens Falls NY and having my cock pulled like fucking turkish taffee in Brooklyn by some drunk pig.....

delightful_anus_cube77 karma

Oh dear, that's terrible :( Did either of them get thrown out?

I think people forget that strippers are actually human beings and not toys...

johnnynoname12147 karma

it was a friend of the clients and it party was at here house...she wasn't gonna kick her friend out of the house

I had to do that thing where a parent has to grab a child's had away from a hot stove lol

"NO...STOP DOING THAT (pulling at my penis)"

do_a_flip48 karma

That might sound dickish but is just curiosity... what did you want to do when you were younger, any dream job, career that you had in mind? What are you gonna do now, get an education or just try to get by with the job at the gym?

johnnynoname12112 karma

1) be intercontinental champ 2) be in action movies 3) play centerfield for any team in the Majors

Right now- i'm living off the money I made off of construction over the summer which will last me for a bit....then I still have a open door at a gym to go work as a trainer again...it won't take me long to build up clientele

smilingthru44 karma

How did it effect your personal life? ie SO or family members?

johnnynoname12196 karma

if you stay too long then it will reek havoc on your personal life

If you already have low self esteem before going into this job (and trust me- you probably have some sort of self esteem issue going into this) working as a stripper will further accentuate that lower self esteem in the long run...Fact is you are not developing self respect or esteem...you are exploiting a facade...you are exploiting something that isn't true

it will be hard for you to see regular people in everyday life without thinking "fuck- I wonder what kinda of weird, piggish shit that guy or girl is into" because you will see alot of "normal" people at there absolute "beast"/basal instinct

stripping can also be a "gateway" of sorts

gateway in the sense that some guys will take a couple of drinks before a revue show to loosen up so to say...then you eventually meet the types of sluts who bang strippers...yes- there are "good girls" who bang strippers but most of them are your typical cum dumpster with daddy issues or whatever....those type of girls will either offer you pot or coke (most likely coke)...then you start thinking that you are a "cliche" so you might as well indulge in it....

now, if you have a existing problem a good majority of the money you make will go to drugs....and if you have a day job as well then ALL of your stripping money will go to drugs because you figure you will live on your 9-5 job money and so you can use your extra money from stripping on drugs....the problem is that your drug use WILL cloud your decision making and will tell you that you don't have to take shit from your 9-5 boss and just make a living stripping...Now, this can be somewhat plausible IF you do not do drugs (at least, recreational/addictive ones) but if you do this with a problem then your fucked because then you don't have enough money to make ends meet with your personal expenses and drugs...so, then you buy into the "cliche" again and say "well, i might as well try and get into porn or escorting" and that is a whole another chapter

there is alot of things that i skipped over cuz it's early but i'm sure i'll remember

IWillHuffleYourPuff40 karma

Are you in a relationship now? Do girls seem to mind that you were a stripper?

johnnynoname1284 karma

I try to never bring it up.....

I will probably have to bring it up eventually but honestly I haven't found that "special gal" I care for enough to give full disclosure to yet...

I figure this revelation will be shared with someone I care about enough that I want to give full disclosure about

also, while I did work as a stripper and it is "fascinating" it was only a somewhat small part of my life...so small that I can honestly not have to ever mention

damthatriver1835 karma

Ever do something/ someone that made you nauseous/vomit?

johnnynoname1283 karma

yes----that "all teeth BJ" incident from the producer of that website...I told the story earlier in this IAMA

honestly- I suprised I didn't get PTSD from my years in a thong

Gluesniffen31 karma

You know those fake bachelorette parties on porn sites where a stripper will walk around and girls will suck him off at random - does something like that happen for real? Or like maybe the girl getting married starts blowing or fucking the stripper, does stuff like that happen often by "normal" girls?

johnnynoname1295 karma

those sites are as real as big tits on a skinny girl

throwaway_steve28 karma

I've also been a male stripper! Well, more of a gogo-boy, since it was at gay clubs, and you're not really "stripping" because your clothes are already off, but ehhhh close enough. It was actually a lot of fun, I really enjoyed it. Yeah, there's some creepy people, but for the most part it was just fun to dance, and also I really like the attention, haha. I guess I'm a little bit of an exhibitionist, so it's a thrill for me. I think it helps that I'm gay, and danced at gay clubs... I still do it from time to time when my friends in the nightlife industry ask me to. Met some really nice people doing it, and had some great experiences because of it!

johnnynoname1278 karma

"I think it helps that i'm gay"

brother- that helps ALOT lol

girlvinyl19 karma

How common was it to see women who were deeply, deeply uncomfortable with a naked man gyrating all around them? You said you went on outcalls, so I am assuming parties and not just strip clubs.

johnnynoname1263 karma

this is a big shock.....so women are VERY uncomfortable with having a stripper in there house...not only are they freaked out by a semi naked stranger with no tanlines and a flock of segulls hairstyle (it was a weird phase, people) but if they have carpetting they start freaking out if you start doing things with whip cream and/or baby oil

Admiral_Spanky17 karma

flock of seagulls hairstyle

Was it messy?

Did you run,

run so far away;

run all night and day?

And the girls couldn't get away?

johnnynoname1213 karma

upvote.....predictable but still upvote

h0dge19 karma

Did you have a serious relationship while you were a stripper? And also, from your other answers, it seems as though you weren't very happy stripping, so where did you get joy from?

johnnynoname1231 karma

no serious relationship while working as a stripper....I had fooled myself into thinking what I was getting doing gigs was gonna suffice in place of a real relationship....I don't blame that so much on "the industry"...more on my emotional imaturity and not being able to distinguish my job (because it is a job, ladies and gentlemen) and a real relationship

while I was stripping I thought I was happy....but I realized that I didn't cultivate anything that was real

dowelly19 karma

How accurate is The Full Monty?

johnnynoname1249 karma

I couldn't comment because I've never been to England

geography plays alot into how sexually overt women are (see that episode of Flight of the Concords where the one with glasses bangs a chick from Australia)

anderungen17 karma

You've mentioned drugs a fair amount in your answers. Could you touch on which ones those were and whether you continue to indulge in them today, or was it part of the lifestyle only?

johnnynoname12116 karma

I liked this drug called "everything"

DreamingInDogYears16 karma

Did you have to do that typical, cliche storyline about being a cop and how you've "gotten a complaint about the noise"?

johnnynoname1260 karma

I did the "cop" A LOT (then again if you are a male performer and do outcalls you are almost ALWAYS the cop)

it was always the "I got to take you in for unpaid parking tickets" spiel then I pat them down and I do that Huell thing where a plant a condom on them and say "oh- what's this?!...looks like someone his some big plans- huh"

it's very gaudy and cheesy however part of the act is the gaudiness and chessiness

[deleted]12 karma


johnnynoname1217 karma

dude- forget colleagues- i couldn't dance for shit

I never learned to dance....If anything I just learned to be really good at taking off my clothes, dry humping and doing things with baby oil and whip cream

Honestly, I'm very athletic and probably could have learned to actually do a couple of moves in a week or so but I didn't care too....I wanted stripping to be a easy job that aside from keeping in great shape I didn't want to put any effort into

The only time I really put any effort was when I first started and was doing revue shows at a all male club in NYC...I learned a 5 minute act but alot of it involved theatrics really....plus, I looked REALLY good at the time

cbh52310 karma

What recreational drugs have you tried?

johnnynoname1224 karma

easier for me to list what I haven't tried: -crack -hash oil (i don't know if that really exists but I hear howard stern mentioning it all the time) - Special K (is that still around)

Falsehoedje9 karma

Are you on roids to maintain a strippers physique?

johnnynoname1216 karma

I didn't start doing steroids till after I stopped stripping ironically

Fact is I was always going for that Rocky IV meets Bruce Lee look which is just a thinnly veiled way of saying I just wanted to snort rails, not eat for 3 days, tan and do wind sprints every day....I pulled it off pretty well

but now that I stopped doing hardcore "recs" I'm more concerned with lifting and getting massive......

and no, steroids aren't addictive no matter what you say mister "copy and paste article saying that steroids are addictive"