IAMA Swinger's Club Employee, AMA.

has anyone ever had a birthday party there? yano like cake, candles, a few drinks then frank from down the street fucking your wife

YES! http://trapezeclub.com/birthday

I have no idea how that shit works. Could you please enlighten me/us?
How the club works, how people get into the club, how they even find it?

There is a huge movement online for swinging. It used to be more hush-hush and word of mouth. There are entire social networks dedicated to allowing couples to meet.

My club has a website, Trapezeclub.com, which helps to ease concerns prior to arriving. Everyone that comes in is a member, a simple process of filling out a form like at LA Fitness or the tanning salon. Then a nightly user fee is paid which covers dinner, amenities, and use of the club.

The front area is your typical bar/dance club. We have a back room where things get, well, frisky. We have lockers for clothing, and towels for the back room (as well as a shower), and nudity is not only allowed, it's encouraged.

Couples and singles come to the club expecting to meet and do each other. They know that those in attendance are interested in the same thing. We just provide a safe, clean venue.

Damn, I always thought these were just rumors. The type of thing that only exists in movies and porn.

Nope, it's very real

I know of a couple down near Ft. Lauderdale where this one is. It's a very... active community.

This is so true!

Can I just say I am so super pleased to see swinging make the frontpage! We visited trapeze and velvet last year. We had fun! =)

Glad you liked it!

Is it for couples only?

No we allow single ladies every night and single guys on select nights (Wed- Fri).

Is there a screening process for single guys? I mean, I can see how guys' night could go bad very quickly.

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We always do a once over on the single guys. And if a single guy offends, we are quick to escort him out.

How much do you pay your cleaning staff? That can not be a fun job.

Very, VERY well.

I'm ashamed that it took me as long as it did to get the "Trapeze" name.

Not at all. I'll be honest, I had to have it explained.

I don't get it

Trapeze Swingers. Swinger Club. Trapeze Club. That help?

I'd like to vouch for Trapeze. A good friend of mine has been going for many years and has nothing but good things to say. The club is clean, the food is good and the people are great. Or so I've been told...

Why thank you!

Have you ever got down and dirty with customers or is that banned for employees?

It is absolutely banned for employees. They see a lot, but it's all lookie-no touchie.

From what i've seen you wouldn't want to lookie too much, let alone touchie.

I've been to a swinger club, there were a few good looking people, but by and far it was not the norm.

I hear that to combat this there are swingers clubs for the beautiful people, unfortunately that doesn't encompass me.

Depends. We have run across one of the 'beautiful clubs' near our south Florida location. They have incredibly young, beautiful ladies BUT they do not swap, or only soft swap (girl-on-girl kissing and light petting).

That just sounds like a regular club to me.

There is a lot of hooking up at Trapeze. We cater to actual swingers, not pillow princesses.

If you had to guess, what percentage of the guys are bringing working girls as their companion?

I'd have to say the majority of our couples are married, happy couples. We don't allow working girls as a rule.

Do you guys offer free wifi?

Hmm, no. You're in a sex club and you can't think of anything better to do than be on the wifi?

Well, yeah. How else am I gonna play Sim City?

I'm playing Sim City actually! When the servers let me.

The wife and I are long time swingers. We can attest that TrapezeClubs responses to this AMA clearly indicate he is legit. Most major cities have swinger clubs, our favorite on the west coast is New Horizins. Regarding questions of jealousy, it's fairly rare. Most couples start swinging in their 30's or late 40's and have been in committed relationships for ton or more years. It IS a woman run experience, women Always have the say of what happens and not happens... The prime rule is no means NO... No discussion. In that environment women are free to explore their sexuality. The newest thing now are swinger cruises where the entire ship is chartered and all the passengers are swingers. We were on the first ever swinger cruise takeover and it was incredibly fun. Someone asked what do swingers look like... We aren't like porn films... Look around where you work, where you shop, he'll even at your church. Swingers are all around you, doctors, teachers, truck drivers, Liberals, Conservatives... We look just like you and there are millions of us. Swinging has greatly enhanced my wife's and my relationship and has created a deep and lasting trust between us. Thank you, TrapezeClub, for doing this AMA!

Absolutely - it's fun!

What are the club's policies on STDs and safety? Does disclosure rest solely on the shoulders of the members?

Disclosure is up to the members. The club provides condoms and supports safe sex. Some of our couples have been swinging together for years, so they sometimes forgo protection.

Alright everyone. This has been fun! I must get back to my actual work now BUT I just talked to the owners and managers. We're going to do a whisper discount. If you come to either club this week and tell them you saw us on Reddit, you get $10 off of your nightly user fee. Woo-woo! Have a great Tuesday and watch for us to do more soon!

xoxo

What is the largest group of people that have gone into the backroom at one time? I imagine it to be one big sweaty mess, which sounds oddly appealing.

Also, how did you come across this job or how did you get involved? Are you yourself a swinger and was once an attendee?

Some nights the back room does turn into a big sweaty mess of flesh. Our members love that! We also have a few private rooms available, which some couples prefer.

I came across this position in a Craigslist ad. I am not now, nor have I ever been a swinger. It's better that way.

Do members ever complain about other members? Like if someone has crabs or a stinky ass, etc.

What happens in a situation like that?

All. The. Time. Mostly the complaints we hear are like that guy stole my lady, or I was getting it on with my wife and some woman just jumped in. It's settled quickly. Sometimes the offender didn't realize the couple wasn't interested in their presence.

How do you air the place out? I have been to come clubs and as we all know, sex has its own "aroma". Especially when anal is involved. Does it ever become a problem?

We have the club cleaned nightly, and carpets cleaned weekly. It also helps that our beds do not have sheets. They are a cleanable material that can be wiped down. The smell really is more cleanser than anything else. I suppose that helps our members feel safer.

carpets cleaned weekly

You mean the place isn't entirely tile flooring (or that textured garage floor material)? Oh man!

ever try to fuck on tile flooring?

Lots of bruises!

I'm glad you posted this. My wife and I have just started getting into the Lifestyle, so we've been looking at venues in the Dallas area. We actually may be going to our first Swingers Club this weekend. My only issue is that we're both 21 and I highly doubt there are many couples or single women at these venues near our age. I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure I'm right. Any recommendation for first timers?

Age-wise, you are young but the lifestylers I have come across take REALLY good care of themselves. There is a push of younger couples lately. You'll have to report back after you go!

Advice wise - know what you and your wife's limits are BEFORE you go to the club (ie: same room, no kissing, no penetration). Don't cross those lines in the heat of the moment.

We done MWMW full room swap, and MFF with no boundaries. So we've established the rules (none) and we've learned what's comfortable for each other. I just don't wanna pay out the ass for one of these venues and be the only couple under 30. Hahaha. Also, are people allowed to have sex in the open in these venues? Thanks for the reply!!

We do allow sex to happen in any form, anywhere (with the exception of near the food). Can you imagine a guy doing a girl and her asking for more potatoes? Most of our couples are very respectful and cover up in the front - either clothes or towel - but it does and can happen.

Are you in a relationship? If so, does it affect your relationship, knowing that your are exposed to nonstop sex on a daily basis?

I am married. My husband loves to tell people what I do just to get a reaction. He's very cool with it though (super guy). What I do doesn't come home with me.

Just realized you are a female. AWESOME

I am!

Are you and your husband swingers?

Nope, just a vanilla couple.

Proof, please. :)

Will this prove it? http://trapezeclub.com/lifestyle-news/taking-reddit

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FANTASTIC! I have had dinner there many times. It's so yummy. Plus, as the night gets later, it switches to breakfast. Who doesn't love eggs at 2am?

And glazed donuts.

Would you like us to assign someone to glaze your donut?

I just LOL'd at this. I may use it somewhere in our material.

Are there "power couples" or like "clicks" that occur in your club? For some reason I imagine word spreads quickly when a really hot and fun to swing with couple starts getting around and EVERYONE wants to be their next.

Oh the word spreads so fast! We do have certain couples that are highly sought after.

Are these clubs exclusively for couples?

Not at all. Couples are allowed any night we are open. Single ladies are always welcome. Single gentlemen are invited on select nights (Wed-Fri).

What do you do for security/doormen?

Trapeze does not operate like a vanilla club. Doormen are not used, however, security is. Because we cater to crowd that has accepted what the club is - swinging - we rarely have the need to have security escort someone out. But we do have security in place as a precaution.

Hi!

Some questions I have:

• Have you witnessed jealousy between a couple or people enjoying each other in the club?

• Can you tell us a story about jealousy in a swinger club?

• Who is more jealous while swinging men or women and what do you think is the reason behind this?

• How do you solve problems between the swingers? Do you do it in a special way?

Thanks for taking the time and doing an IAmA!

EDIT: grammar

There is always a chance of jealousy in a club like ours. Many couples that come in are not new to the lifestyle so they have already worked out their issues. But again, it's always there. We really haven't had to step in when this happens. Mostly the couple takes it out and home with them. The women definitely run the lifestyle. They will make the decision of who is involved with the couple. Also as a side note, most couples have code they use. Like if the lady isn't interested she will excuse herself to the ladies' room and invite her husband to come with. That means she's not attracted to the couple they are talking to, without insulting everyone. Neat huh?!

They solve problems through fuck-offs of course....

Of course.

When is a swinger "upscale"?

You would be surprised. There is a huge difference in the 'average' clubs and the more upscale. It's very similar to a regular bar vs a nightclub with a VIP list and higher cover. It weeds out the riff-raff.

Is this legal? Ever get raided?

Trapeze has been in business for 15+ years and is absolutely legal, we would not still be here if it weren't. We are a private membership club where like-minded individuals meet.

If you don't live in Florida, you will have to check your local laws on the legality of swingers clubs. I know for a fact that Phoenix, Arizona has a ban on "Live Sex Acts" which effectively bans swingers clubs that allow the sexual acts to occur within their premises.

That being said, there are often still a lot of "underground" clubs...ie bars and restaurants where a lot of swinging couples go for drinks and flirting...then they go back to someone home or hotel.

This is true. We operate in Atlanta and Fort Lauderdale. Both locations allow our establishment. We are not working 'under the radar.'

What are the common ages of people that you see typically join your club, and attend the events? Anybody curious and just go to check it out?

Curiosity is our bread and butter. During the week (we're open Wed-Sun), we get more couples 40+. Then on the weekend we get a younger crowd, with some even in their 20s (21+ club).

Was the pay good? Or mostly tips that got you by?

The pay is good. The job is fun. I wouldn't trade it. How many people can hang on reddit and answer questions for work?

Isn't that what we're all doing right now?

Sort of true keyz0r

rate the women who come by, be brutal!

As a person in the BDSM/poly/swinger scene who has both attended and hosted parties:

If you can't deal with seeing people you find unattractive naked, you will have a hard time finding partners.

No one likes to be told they're ugly, either by others' words OR actions, and most people in the scene find it a huge turnoff if you're anything other than respectful about other people's bodies.

An environment conducive to sexy parties and gatherings is a delicate thing. If even 10% of the people there are uncomfortable, it can easily limit or even ruin the whole evening. So it's in everyone's best interest to keep the space welcoming and judgement-free.

You don't have to find someone attractive or play with them. You can always say no to anything (and anyone who tells you different is someone to never play with again). But you need to be respectful and not body snark- especially behind people's backs (the thought process is "If he/she is so nasty about this guy/girl, what will they say about me when I can't hear them?").

Plus, "attractive" is a highly subjective concept. What's gorgeous to you may be disgusting to another, and tastes vary wildly not just from person to person, but also at different times in those people's lives. This is especially so in the BDSM scene, where individual tastes often evolve- not just in who a specific person finds attractive, but also what they like to do sexually (and what they don't).

And to be honest, most of the highly skilled people I've "played" with aren't conventionally attractive. If I had turned them away based solely on their looks, I would never of had the pleasure of those experiences.

TL;DR:

Be respectful. Rating people "brutally" is counterproductive to fun sexytimes and makes you look like a jerk. A better way to ask this question would have been: "Are there a lot of conventionally attractive people there?"

I did read it, but love your abridged version. Well put.

Oh man, loaded question.

If you are wanting looks, we really run the gamut. There are some VERY attractive women (and men too) that attend the club on a regular basis. The, we'll say, less than 10's make up for it with their 'skills.'

What is the biggest swingers party you threw?

Halloween is by far our biggest weekend. It's sort of the Superbowl of Swinging. Although lately, we've had some signature parties and Mardi Gras was pretty sweet.

On your single men's night (wed-fri) what is the ratio of males to females?

We get quite a few single guys, but we do have a cap and will turn them away. We want our members to have a good experience.

How often do guys or girls come & go without hooking up/swinging?

Do some individual/single people have trouble mingling if they are not attending with anyone they know?

Some couples come just to see their friends. They get so entrenched in the lifestyle that the people they know are at the club. So they may come, eat, drink, dance and go home.

We do have host couples that we introduce newbies to. They help ease them in and introduce them to other couples.

I'm sorry if I missed this and someone else already asked it, but what do you do there?

I didn't answer. I am the Marketing Manager. I maintain our website, online presence and plan the parties.

Have you ever seen anyone regret the whole thing and leave a bit messed up?

I'm sure it does happen, although not at the club.

What percentage of the people are unattractive?

LOL. There are some VERY attractive women (and men too) that attend the club on a regular basis. The, we'll say, less than 10's make up for it with their 'skills.'

What is the cost for one night only? Can I visit from a different state? Lastly, how likely are you to get lucky?

Costs really vary but are the same at both locations. Here is a full breakdown: http://trapezeclub.com/fort-lauderdale/about-the-club/club-fees-2

We love for out of staters to visit!

Do you get any shit from the local bored housewives clubs? I've seen news stories of busted clubs because the community didn't like it, so they trumped up things like parking nuisances, etc. to shut the place down.

Some clubs have run into that. Our clubs are not located in private or residential areas. We are in locations in Atlanta and Fort Lauderdale that are appropriately zoned with parking and such. Because of the locations, the community can't fuss much. We're just like any other club or restaurant.

I live in Ottawa, Ontario, and we have similar clubs (which are also very private).

One of the points of conflict that arises is that the fetish/kink community and the swinging community are VERY different, yet often want to use these spaces for recreation. Things get dicey because the swingers sometimes don't understand fetish protocol (and think everyone is down for full-blown sex) and on the flip-side, kinksters want to be able to consensually hurt their partners, which swingers will find upsetting and ask them to stop. And then DRAMA. So my questions are:

1) Does the fetish community also host events in your club? And do you ever notice these kinds of "cultural" conflict?

2) Is your club equipped with stuff like paddles, rope, St. Andrew's Crosses, etc? Or is the backroom just things like bedding, normal furniture?

3) Living in Ottawa, I'm right near the Quebec (francophone) border, where more of the clubs are. This means we also get great anglo vs franco tension during events. Do you guys ever have to deal with people being prejudiced/racist/sexist, and does security get involved?

We do have some fetish groups we work with. It's never a required thing at the club though. You can still attend those night and not take part.

Our back rooms are furniture. We do not have any fetish equipment on a regular basis.

To find more clubs, try Nasca. http://www.nasca.com/ They have a listing section for Canada.

So in your opinion, if a single guy does go, will the husband usually want to watch? Or will they allow the wife to go on their own?

Depends on the couple. Sometimes the husband will go find another lady-friend. Or he may hang at the bar.

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I have had many and varying conversations with our swingers. Because I am the voice of the club on the internet, I feel like they are more honest with me (anonymity). It's incredibly helpful.

What is the hottest thing you have seen.

and...

The most disgusting?

Typically, because of my position, I'm not in the back room. But you won't let me get away with that answer.

I guess I'd have to say we have some VERY talented ladies on the pole in the front dance area. They are stellar. As far as bad, dude on dude isn't for me. That only happens once in a long, long while and usually it's in a group setting.

What is the worst and best part of your job?

I'd have to say the best part is the people. They are the best group I have met. Creating great parties for them is amazing.

The worst part is trying to juggle the night shift/day shift that comes along with it. It's very complicated to be available for both times.

Ever have issues with disgruntled people getting rejected?

We normally don't reject people. Sometimes the occasional drunk person needs to be escorted out. They are usually pretty easy to handle though.

I meant like by other potential couples or patrons. Like if another couple isn't interested and they take it very poorly

They are all super cool, and experienced in the lifestyle. They get it, almost all the time. And because we are a venue of potential partners, they happily move along to the next.

You need a club in Canton, GA.

How far is Canton from Atlanta? We have one there. ;)

It is a far north suburb. They have a huge neighborhood there (Bridgemill - ~5000 houses) that is infamous for swinging.

Good to know.

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Most of our women claim bi in at least some form. The guys it's much less, as you can imagine.

What's the most successful pickup attempt you've seen at the club? And if you have it, the worst one. :)

I did see a couple who spoke only Spanish attempt to pick up another couple. It was a very disjointed conversation with a lot of gestures. Not sure if they worked it out.

Is your club diverse or is it mostly white people??

Actually we have a really good mix.

What age are your youngest clients?

They must be 21. We do have some couples in their 20s.

Are couples encouraged to go home with each other? Or do you prefer them to stay at the club?

Some choose to go home together, but we do provide all the amenities to stay.

I have a couple of friends who have went here for YEARS. They also frequent another club somewhere a little north of Orlando. Met them when I was 18. They counted down til I turned 21 and by then I was in a relationship and never really wanted to go with them in the first place. All I could picture is a club vibe with totally open naked people looking to score and get all friendly. Just the thought of even 20% of the people there looking like that couple was enough for me to say NOPE! SO or not, they just turned me off from the experience haha

Happens. Every club and every couple's experience is different. Our clubs, because we have front and back areas, really seem more nightclub-like than anything. Sure you may see a topless person here or there, but it's not the norm.

Can 1 person go by themselves, or do both partners have to go in?

We absolutely allow individuals, just single guys are limited on the nights they can attend.

How often do single women show up?
Are you (man or woman) guaranteed to get fucked if you pay to get in?

Single women are a very large part of our Atlanta location, less so in Fort Lauderdale. It's never a guarantee that you will get laid. It's more about your approach and attitude. No one wants to do someone that's cocky or expecting it.

What's the craziest shit (good AND bad) go down at that club? There has to be alcohol and maybe some maryj involved for courage and not be nervous the first few times!

Alcohol for sure. Liquid courage always helps in these situations. We have to outlaw all drugs, legally so sorry, no maryj.

How is the food?

Great! http://trapezeclub.com/fort-lauderdale/club-tour/menu

Do you have any rules regarding protection or STDS? Do you have to sign a disclaimer or any kind?

No rules, it's up to the couples. We do provide condoms.

How respectful are the people that attend? I always imagine there would be some alpha guys that try to push their way into the more shy couples. Does that ever happen at all?

Not really. I think the ladies keep their men in line for sure. We don't end up with many douchebags.

What's the condom situation? Do people wear them? Do they switch between partners?

Most of the time they wear them, and switch them out often. We provide them in our back rooms.

There is an obvious objection to single men. What is the theory behind it? More apt to cause jealousy, be sleezy, disrespectful?

The single men are sometimes sort of pushy. Plus, not every couple is down for a single guy (they are looking for a unicorn or another couple). We have found limiting the men is the best for everyone. If a couple isn't interested in a single guy, they know they can attend certain nights and not have that element.

Are there ever any classy clubs like this for gay men? It seems the closest thing gay men have are shady bathhouses.

I'm not really an expert here. I can only speak for the swingers.

What is your job at Trapeze Club?

I am the Marketing Manager. I handle our online presence, website, communications and parties. :)

How many single females come in on a Friday night and is it worth the price of admission for single men (didn't check the website to see if you allow that)?

We do allow single guys on Fridays. I would say Ladies Night is a better value. But it's absolutely a busy night.

Using the 1 - 10 scale, what is the best looking people at, the worst looking people, and the people overall as an average.

1-10 I guess. We have a lot of 8-10s!

Man I fancy myself to be a 'live and let live' liberal sort, but this voms me out to the extreme. What is my problem?

It's not for everyone.

what about STDs? Seems to like these places are a great way to live out the mantra of "If everyone has herpes, it's like nobody has herpes"

Like I said, we provide condoms but we are all educated adults. It's up to the couple.