IamA gunshot survivor-by the skin of my head! AMA!

This is super surreal. I am the 911 dispatcher who took your boyfriends phone call after the sheriff's office transferred his phone call to us. There is not much proof I can provide you with to prove this due to the fact that it's an ongoing investigation.

I'm glad to see you're Ok.

Wow, thank you for your response. That's really crazy. And thank you for getting me help so quickly, I couldn't even believe how fast they came. I can't thank you all enough for how smoothly it all went, I really appreciate your service.

Off the top of your head, how did it feel getting shot?

Lol nice one. I'll paste what I posted up there-

I'd read in an askreddit thread what it feels like to be shot, and someone there phrased it best- "like being punched with hot metal." At first I thought it was just fireworks, with it being close to New Year's. But it hit me and felt like hot liquid metal flying across my head, and I remembered reading that reddit comment, and when the blood started pouring down my face, I knew I had been shot. The physical pain wasn't the worst part- after a minute or so the blood had filled my eyes, and I was completely blinded. Everything was white, and I remember thinking, maybe this was dying, maybe everything just goes white. Or maybe there was a bullet lodged in a part of my brain that helps me see, and I might go blind forever. Luckily my eyes started watering and I could see soon after.

I can't imagine the amount of blood there must have been, the scalp will bleed and bleed even from just a little nick.

Dude, so much blood. Completely coated my whole head/face/chest, my boyfriend's arms, the towels we had, and my dress. You would've thought my skull was split and I was spilling my life force everywhere, but nope. A moderately sized wound, no bigger than what you would get from cracking your head too hard on a table corner.

Reminds me of the time I was playing soccer with a friend in a tiny garage, my friend shot the ball against the heavy wooden plate, this plate dropped and landed on another friends head who was sitting down on the bench right underneath the wooden plate(3 people total in the garage), and blood started pouring out, we were all really stoned and I started freaking out and feeling sick, and before I knew it I fucking passed out and hit my head against a staircase, so then my friends were freaking out about me and thought I died or something. So this one kick set of a chain reaction of events. ahaha what a fucking mess that was

Haha goddamn. That is both horrifying and hilarious, I would have lost it witnessing that. Even moreso while high.

Even small head injuries bleed like crazy. Getting that much opened must have been insane.

It was so bad. I wasn't allowed to wash my hair for 24 hours, so I just had a thick hockey puck of blood in my hair until I got to shower. So nasty.

Woah! That's wild, do you think you would've panicked more or less if you hadn't read that ask reddit thread? It'd suck for your last thoughts to be "Oh man, reddit was right".

I actually think reading the reddit thread helped me out, because I was able to figure out what the fuck just happened to me a lot more quickly. And then I was able to calm myself down by reminding myself about how many people in that thread had been shot and survived.

How many people in that thread had been shot and died?

Haha.

Handgun wounds have an 80% plus survivability rate if you get access to advanced medical care.

That's awesome to know! I'll definitely remember this fact if/when I am ever shot again!

Headshots bring it down to about 5%.

Glad you got really lucky! Well really unlucky and then lucky :P

Thank you! Me too!

If it was 9-10 at night, I highly doubt they could see you. It's almost impossible to see minute details on the beach at night, especially if that person was just inside and went outside to shoot. Even smoking a cigarette outside would kill your night vision for a bit, so again, I really doubt they could see.

Palm Beach has huge spotlights all up and down the beach, and we were sitting right in the light of one. I am 90 percent sure he could see us, and just didn't consider that the sign would not stop his bullets.

Having multiple head injuries in my lifetime (but never been shot) it sounds like all head injuries feel quite similar. Two years ago, I walked into the neighbor's open window. Hit my head right on the corner and made a pretty deep cut. I thought I was OK at first, until my head started to feel really warm. Then I noticed blood dripping on the path. It felt like warm metal as you just described, one of the strangest feelings I've had. I nearly passed out from the incident and had to lie down for a few days (not visiting the hospital was the biggest downside to the healing process). I'm so glad you survived the incident, and I hope you recover well :)

Ow man, that sounds awful. Thank you for your kind words :)

In the second picture, why did you not put lipstick on your lips all the way?

I like how "doll lips" look on me, I'm still working on improving my makeup skills and eventually getting to buy nicer makeup than what I have. But I do what I can, and it makes me happy. Here's a reference of the general style I was going for-

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/f6/98/af/f698af50ae52c404ccd551973530bea7.jpg

check out r/makeupaddiction, I love going there and seeing all the interesting makeup looks people try out :)

Thanks!

not a good look for ya.

She didn't put it on to impress you. She likes it for herself.

Shares story about when she got shot in the head and survived, gets criticized for her makeup.

That's reddit alright.

Haha I expected as much.

Neat! I hope my comment didn't come off as asshole-ish; I just have never heard of that before.

No worries, glad you weren't being rude about it. A lot of people have been, not really sure why! Guess everyone's a critic.

It's because they don't personally like it and therefore you are doing something wrong.

I'm not a fan of the way it looks (on anyone), but I don't give a shit if you like it and want to do it.

Thank you! haha.

I've noticed whenever I get a front page-esque post that involves a photo of me people will say what a horrible person I am-purely based on looks.

Some people (on here) are just nasty.

Haha, so I have noticed. I don't really know what you get out of making fun of someone's makeup when they are trying to tell a story about a traumatic experience, but I guess if it makes you happy? People are strange.

What are the odds of the bullet scraping along the exact line of where you had shaved your hair off?

Haha, well it's nearly perfectly along my hair part!

What do you thinks happened? accidental like someone fucking with a gun and aiming at a sign? or they could see you and wanted to hurt you? also how have you been has this affected you mentally? hope you're good!

From what I can personally tell, the person seemed to be aiming at the sign, and didn't consider that the bullets would keep going beyond it, or could possibly veer off once hitting it. I don't want to assume he was aiming at us, though we were in plain sight from the street. It gives me the chills to consider someone might want the thrill of killing someone innocent in cold blood. I've been switching between a euphoric, unreasonably grateful for everything state and a scared of everything, reliving the moment vividly state-without much in between. I'm hoping to settle soon on being incredibly thankful for my life instead of being anxious about what could have been, or what might be. It's a weird thing, knowing that something as simple as sitting up a bit higher could have snuffed out my life immediately. It makes me wonder how close I have been to death countless other times, and not even known. Thank you for your kind words :)

something as simple as sitting up a bit higher could have snuffed out my life immediately

Take that mom! Bad posture could save my life!

Haha yes! Thank god I am a sorry loaf of a human being!

As someone who has been shot and stabbed multiple times there are a couple things that helped me and may help you:
Firstly, the talking. I wish reddit had been around when my stuff went down because finding a safe way to express these emotions is so cathartic. It is hard to tell how family/friends will respond and in this anonymous forum we can accept the empathy and ignore the criticisms and negativity. Reddit deserves an award just for that.
Secondly, I still suffer from PTSD but I do St John ambulance courses and volunteer for charities when I can. To know that you can actually do something, regardless of the situation, hands the control back to you. that reassurance is also cathartic and it is a valuable healing tool.
So glad you are okay. You and your boyfriend deserve some "me" time now.

Wow, thank you so much for this well thought out, touching reply. Reddit has definitely helped me out today. It's amazing how much people truly care about the life of a stranger, and are interested in helping me out with kind words and advice. On the flip side, it's hilarious how many people could only manage to focus on the superficial- bashing me for my makeup choice or my weight. To each their own, I suppose. I will definitely be looking into volunteering, perhaps with vets. I'm sure it would be mutually beneficial. Thank you, again.

Yeah i'm sure no one was out to get you. Im from Australia where we have pretty tight gun laws. Rarely see things like this!

Haha. I really hope so too. I hate that this is so commonplace here, it's fucking ridiculous.

Did you (or your insurance) have to pay for hospital treatment, or are injuries sustained in a crime like this paid for some other way?

I actually don't have insurance- the detective gave me the number to an organization that waives/reimburses medical treatment and medicine for victims of violent crime. I'm not actually positive if it is a private organization or with the state- my boyfriend's grandfather did most of the talking for me, since I was doped up on oxycodone for a few days, haha.

Congrats on experiencing two of the United States' biggest problems in a single night! Guns and Healthcare.

Haha thanks! I didn't even think about it that way, lol.

May be a good time to sign up for Obama Care subsidy. Then you will have insurance for any followup non-emergency care. The ACA does not allow the insurance company to treat your wound as a pre-existing condition.

Yeah I've got to look into it, I'm not exactly financially stable right now.

Don't you wish liability insurance was a requirement to own a firearm?

Haha, in a perfect world..

What happened to the guy who shot you?

From what i have heard from witnesses he was in a car and sped off. Luckily he chose to do this in front of a bunch of multi-million dollar McMansions, so there's a lot of surveillance. I've been told the detectives have someone in mind, but they can't tell me who yet.

Will you ever lift your leg to fart again? Because if you had been doing that then you'd have gotten shot in the head.

Man I wasn't expecting this comment.

Do you feel like you could ever forgive the person that did this too you if it transpired they had some mental disorder? Or any other reason for doing what they did, purposefully or accidentally?

I've already forgiven them. As far as I can tell, they were being stupid and shooting at the sign. I believe the detectives will find them and hopefully, help them learn a lesson. If it was purposefully, then, well...I'd have no choice but to accept that I stepped into the sights of a violent sociopath, and they probably can't help being how they are.

YOU are a good person.

Thank you, I try to be.

His lesson will probably be federal or state prison. Or both.

Maybe, unless he does have a case for pleading insanity I assume

what did it feel like pain-wise?

I'd read in an askreddit thread what it feels like to be shot, and someone there phrased it best- "like being punched with hot metal." At first I thought it was just fireworks, with it being close to New Year's. But it hit me and felt like hot liquid metal flying across my head, and I remembered reading that reddit comment, and when the blood started pouring down my face, I knew I had been shot. The physical pain wasn't the worst part- after a minute or so the blood had filled my eyes, and I was completely blinded. Everything was white, and I remember thinking, maybe this was dying, maybe everything just goes white. Or maybe there was a bullet lodged in a part of my brain that helps me see, and I might go blind forever. Luckily my eyes started watering and I could see soon after.

Did your boyfriend rip his shirt off in a heroic way and place it on your head, applying pressure? If not, owell.

Not his shirt, but a towel yes, he held it there to staunch the flow and stood in front of me to block me in case any more bullets were coming.

Well done. I hope he got a reward for his valiant effort.

Many, and many more to come.

hey its me ur brother boyfriend

Haha.

Was the doctor that fixed your head an old man named Mitchell?

I don't actually remember his name, but he was more middle aged. Probably early 40s.

Does this drawing look like the man who shot you?

Did he sound like Chandler from Friends?

I don't know what's going on with this series of questions

Theyre referencing the opening plot of a videogame called Fallout New Vegas. Main character is shot in the head and saved by Doc Mitchell

I never played new Vegas! I played a bit of 3, but I was always more into Skyrim.

As someone who isn't a fan of FO setting/universe, but still played (and finished) FO3 and FO:NV... FO:NV is insanely better than FO3. Go play it.

The graphics are pretty much the same (and I'm sure there are mods to "fix" that), but the story in NV is miles ahead. Not to mention it's less linear than in FO3 and with more options. It reminds me of Morrowind in that regard.

Hm, perhaps I will give it a shot then!

Now that you have some street rep of getting shot. When do you plan to become a hip-hop artist?

I'm going to wait until I'm a granny. It will be novel by then.

Did you wish you were taller when you were younger?

I always have, now I will never complain again!

Will you wear heels at your wedding?

I'm not sure, now!

I love that you're so keen to share your experience, thanks so much.

How did your boyfriend react? And how is he doing now?

Also, can you talk us through what happened immediately after, i.e. how help was sought, did you leave the area, were there witnesses, etc?

Hey, no problem man. People need to be aware that guns are no joke.

My boyfriend freaked out quite a bit, he was pretty much in shock and not comprehending what was going on for the first two minutes or so, just staring at me. He snapped out of it and called 911, and stood in front of me in case there were more shots. One guy heard me screaming and came down, asked if he could help, and gave my boyfriend the streets we were near to tell the operator. The police were there literally within 3 minutes, it was nuts. They just flooded the area so quickly, and by the time I stood up and walked up the beach, there was a rescue vehicle with a stretcher there. I was told there were a few witnesses, I'm guessing the guy who came to help us, and then one more couple I saw while being taken away on the stretcher. It was pretty deserted though, I'm glad it was. No one else got hurt, which is great.

stood in front of me in case there were more shots

You need to lock that one down right away

Definitely working on it :P We live together and have for over a year, and we're still going strong. I'd say I've locked it down pretty well for now. We'll see where it goes.

Are you pro gun or anti gun? Do you think America could benefit from tighter gun control?

I'm in between. I think that people definitely should have the right to hunt and protect their homes-but I do think, after hearing the detectives tell me the person they have in mind as a suspect "might have some psychiatric issues" that perhaps our methods for obtaining killing machines could be a bit more rigid. Amongst other reasons, of course.

How does this affect your day-to-day? Do you feel scared going out now ?

Admittedly, yes. The odds of me being shot at, at all in that area, were pretty low to begin with- they haven't had a shooting there in over 10 years. But then, the fact that it happened to be right where I was sitting, in a several mile long beach, and just so happened to graze the top of my head, of all places...well. Just makes you think really hard about your life and everything around you.

Think of it in this way, the probability of you getting shot again when compared to other people in your area is now ridiculously low. So you're gonna be fine. Also you've now gained a badass scar!

True! All about perspective.

What did the people around you do right after you were shot?

There weren't a lot of people around. We had one guy come up while my boyfriend was on the phone with 911 and he was super helpful, he told us what street we were at so we could tell the ambulance. The only other people I saw were a couple who were speaking to the police as I was being carted away on the stretcher. It was night time, so less people around.

You watch Breaking Bad?

I have watched all of it up until the last 5 episodes! Just have not had a means to watch the final few episodes.

It's on Netflix, Bitch!

I don't have netflix! We have comcast, so we have a fucking bandwidth cap. We don't really watch TV much anyway. I figure one day I'll get to be at someone's house long enough for 5 hours of TV.

Has anyone close to you metaphorically said that you dodged a bullet and then immediately corrected themelves?

Haha not yet, but it will probably happen

Were there any sort of mental repercussions, like anxiety? If so, how long did it take to recover from them and how long did it take to physically recover?

Thank you!

i am still dealing with the anxiety from it- reliving the experience vividly a few times a day. Coupled with a weird euphoria of being thankful for life and all of its beauty and experiences, like never before. It's been a wonderful gift, to be honest. I doubt anything else could possibly make me feel this way. I am still healing up, gotta get the stitches out this week. I don't think it'll take longer than a month and a half to heal up completely.

if you're with someone, I heard getting them to tell you where you are and that you're safe is way to help you in midst of ptsd flashbacks. keeps you grounded and the start of the link out of the experience

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate that

I was not shot, but had a near death experience in the past and the PTSD the first month or so was shitty. The flashbacks sucked, I would lose myself in them for I don't even know how many minutes, several times a day. I decided I couldn't live like that anymore, and looked into meditation online. I wish I could remember what websites, or videos, but it's been almost two years. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to cope without a professional I recommend meditation. I focused on breathing exercises, and even now, I'm coming up on the second anniversary, and I'll still "go back there" maybe once every few months just out of nowhere, and the breathing exercises still help.

Oh nice, I'm glad that helped you! My boyfriend and I have been meditating daily for a few months now, so I am hoping that will help sort my head out. Thanks for your story, and I am glad you are feeling better :)

Hey there! You and I are basically scar twins! I got mine in the exact same location also from a bullet that just grazed me, except this was in the military. Mine is all covered up by hair now but I've never met anyone with such a similar story. How many stitches/staples did you get?

Wow that's so crazy. I got eight in mine! What about you? How did it affect you, and for how long after?

I received 12 staples which actually hurt worse than the wound. I didn't have to wear a full head wrap about 5 days later. And I was completely healed in I believe 3 weeks. This happened in 2008, and now I really have to move my hair around for anyone to see it. Honestly I wasn't affected at all. Just a band-aid and back to work.

Man, you are one tough dude. I feel like a wuss, haha. I'm glad you were okay. And I am glad to know I will hopefully be healed up pretty quickly. Thanks for sharing with me!

Thank you and good luck on your healing. In a couple years this will be a cool ice breaker convo. "Oh yea I've been shot in the head, and you?"

Haha, truth!

How many stitches?

Happy to hear you have turned this event into something useful to you as you think of the fragile moments between life and death.

8 stitches, and, thanks for your words :)

You were literally inches away from dying. Have you had any kind of feeling of enlightenment or new found apprecation for the fragility of life? Are you finally going to follow your dream or something like that.

Definitely, all of that. I have decided I will bust my ass to make a living with my art, and never work some shit retail/food service job that keeps me down ever again. Because that's what those jobs are designed to do-keep you exhausted and keep you there, away from bettering yourself and moving up. I WILL move up or I will go be a wild person in a mud hut. Working for the man is no longer an option, life is too precious to kill my senses with that drab nonsense.

Will your hair grow back? Or always have a scar?

I'm thinking I will always have a scar, but luckily it's almost exactly along my natural hair part!

Do you think there will be any long term affects? Mentally and physically.

I'd like to think of myself as a decently strong minded person, I've experienced a lot of trauma in my life. So this will simply be another learning experience in coping with distress. Physically not at all, there will be a little scar at most- and I plan to get a little horseshoe tattooed over it to remind myself how lucky I am every day.

Is the scar not enough?

You probably won't be able to see it, my hair is super thick and curly, and it's right along my hair part. It will be a pretty tiny tattoo. I just want to look in the mirror every morning and see a tiny horseshoe and think, I am lucky.

Not sure that's a great idea for the future though. Your hair is thick now, but could easily get thinner with age.

Your call though, of course.

Haha, I always thought it was weird that people at some point become these tightwads who regret their choices of living life when they were younger. I consider my tattoos for a long time before getting them, and I can't imagine a time where I will feel ashamed or regret them. I'm not meant to be a corporate drone, so, having a little horseshoe on my head will be okay when I'm a rich and famous artist and/or wild person living in a mud hut in the mountains at 45.

who did you piss off enough for them to shoot at you?

Haha, it was a random stranger. I suppose existing on the beach in his presence was simply too much for him to handle. I'm the worst.

As a skin-head gun shot survivor...did your attitudes regarding white-supremacy change at all?

Lol no. They're still a bunch of fucking idiots afraid of a changing world in white white people are not ruling everything, therefore lashing out like a bunch of neanderthals.

Do you like the fact that anyone can hold a gun and shoot them in your country?

Not particularly. I think we could use some improvements, but I won't go so far as to say i am totally anti-gun. I think they have a purpose, I just wish that purpose wasn't killing or shooting at random people so often.

How did you manage to get a boyfriend when you apply lipstick like you did on the second pic?

That's pretty rude, lol. He likes it, I like it, doesn't really matter that you don't.

Do you blame the shooter OR the gun?

Neither, really. Like I've said, this was a product of stupidity or sociopathic behavior, neither of which I can hold a grudge against. A gun is a tool. I think less of them would be better all around, yes. But I don't place blame on a tool or on one who is not fully developed mentally in one way or another.

What's your favourite cereal?

Either cinnamon toast crunch or cinnamon Life. I like cinnamon.

Did you purposely set you Imgur links to say "Ian" and "Who"?
Also are you an actress? I think I've seen your headshot before.

I did not, that is crazy. Also, nope, not an actress! Way too shy to be onstage or in front of a camera. I prefer to be behind the scenes.

Holy shit! Glad you're alive. Did the bullet fracture your skull, or did you get away with just a grazing? What did it sound like when you got hit? I'm imagining a loud bang, besides the firing of the gun, that only you could hear.

Didn't even touch my skull at all! Just tore through a couple of layers of skin. I didn't hear anything, weirdly. Just heard the three shots behind me, which sounded like fire crackers, and then felt hot metal tear through my head immediately. I would've expected a whizzing or something, but, nope. My boyfriend was sitting right by me, and he didn't hear it either.

Has your life changed now that you realize it could have all been over if some random asshole you had never met inflected his hand 1/16th of an inch at a moment in time?

It really has. It's made me hyper aware that damn near anything can take me out at any time, and I need to live it up as much as I can in the short time I have here. I'm also hoping to perhaps be another voice for moving gun laws along to where they need to be.

How do you feel about gun control, and how has being shot affected that?

I feel like it's a bit too lax here in America, but I would say i felt about the same before getting shot.

Why did you feel the need to do an AMA about this when the bullet grazed your head? There are plenty of people, military especially, who have been shot multiple times and lived, fighting on heroically.

Because some people like to know the circumstances of something like this? I'm not a trained fighter, just a random person who got hit by a stray bullet- I think people like to hear about things they could possibly experience at some point in their life. I'm not claiming to be any more heroic or brave than anyone else, I am simply telling my story. Not sure why it bothers you.

Are you against guns after getting shot? If so where you pro or anti gun before getting shot?

Not against them, and I wasn't necessarily "pro gun" before this. Like I've said, I believe people should hunt and be able to protect themselves, but maybe we should be smarter about who is allowed to do that with guns.

did it hurt?

Not as much as you might think. It was a dull burning feeling. The psychological aspect was much more traumatic than the pain itself. It was a head wound, so it bled a lot, and I wasn't sure if I had a bullet lodged in my skull, so I was kind of freaking out. But on a physical pain scale, I'd give it like a 4/10, 10 being the highest amount of pain.

damn - I'm a decade-long rugby player and I just got a decent sized tattoo. I put the tattoo pain at 4/10. I thought I had decent pain tolerance, then you come in here and out-badass all of us.

"yeah I got shot in the head, but it wasn't that bad actually." ever fancied playing rugby? ;)

Haha, it really wasn't too bad! Just a dull, stingy pain. I actually have considered rugby, seems like a lot of fun! For the record, I got a tiny tattoo done on my wrist and I would put that pain at 9/10

Has this caused you to see life differently? What's the first thing you've done / you're going to do as a result of this event?

It has, drastically. I'm just going to continue to pursue my art as I have been- getting caught up in anything other than what you enjoy is a trap. Life is so short and can be stolen from you at any moment. Sure, life is going to be tough, but it should be tough working towards what you love doing, not just working for some faceless bigwig who wants to keep you struggling to make him money and never bettering yourself. I also have started dieting and will begin exercising once again, because I should look and feel great as much as possible.

Have your views on gun laws changed at all as a result of this?

I feel about the same as I always have as a sentient adult, which is that guns cause pain and suffering too much as it is. And the way things are doesn't exactly provide the safest environments for people to live in, so perhaps something should be done. I spoke on it a bit more in the comments above.