IAmA doorman at a world famous Las Vegas nightclub, an aspiring writer, and a former strip club bouncer. AMA!

What is the most amusing reason for kicking someone out of an establishment?

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Guys know better. Bro code.

Guys know you might kick the shit out of them

Yeah, the Bro Code. You steal someone elses shit and you're getting one in the chops.

I will smack the donut right out of your hand, better on the ground, then in your mouth! :)

And perhaps my personal favorite, grabbing girls arms as they walk past. Some guys use this as their go to move. They grab the arm of any attractive girl that walks by them, in the belief that it will force the girl to talk to them.

Members of my gender really piss me off sometimes. Keep your fucking hands to yourselves, dickwads.

We're the worst. I'm amazed women ever sleep with us.

Speaking of urinating, I went to one of the most famous night clubs in Vegas and the whole place smelled of urine.

Night clubs frequently have problems with their sewage systems. Too many people using them in a short span of time. Plus girls are always flushing things down them that don't belong there. I think the last time we had a problem, we found someone's bikini bottom in the pipes.

For a second I thought you meant the town of Bikini Bottom.

"Who flushed a whole town down the toilet?! How did you even get it in the stall?"

Have you ever slept with one of the strippers? How was it?

Yes! Several times. Most of them were very enjoyable. A few were were not. One was very very bad. Total stalker. It's just like sleeping with anyone that you work with. You're going to see them the next day at work, plan accordingly.

If you need to remain anonymous please message the mods with proof, as all AMAs require proof. Everything sent to moderators are kept completely confidential.

My question is as follows: I'm going to Vegas on Friday, staying at the Cosmopolitan so we may be headed to Marquee. We went there last year and a buddy got us in, skipping the line and all. We finally get in and it was too crowded to really enjoy ourselves. I figure the best experience is to get table service.

Do you think table service is really the only way to go?

It would depend on the club. Marquee has sort of a strange layout. The interior of the club has absolutely nowhere to stand. It is made up of tables for bottle service, the dance floor, and then a walkway that goes in a half circle around the dance floor tables. Security keeps this area constantly moving. So if you don't get a table, you pretty much have to go out on the patio where the pool is.

I do believe that in a busy club, bottle service is usually worth it. If you have say four guys paying cover and having half a dozen drinks, you're already looking at $100+ apiece, so you might as well cough up another $25 to $50 each and have some real estate. This gives you a home base you can fall back on as needed. It's also a nice way to meet girls. Their feet are sore from the ridiculous shoes they are wearing. They want to sit. Just avoid bottle pirates. (Girls who pour themselves drinks then disappear.)

If you're a group of girls, the same rules apply, except the cover will be lower or non existent.

There is one thing working in your advantage. The week after a busy holiday like Labor Day, most clubs see a drop in business. So if you do get bottle service you'll get a nicer table, and if you don't the club shouldn't be packed. Also it is cooling off so the weather out on the patio is very nice. But then again, my club has been packed every Friday since Memorial Day weekend, so I could be wrong.

tl;dr Table service is usually a good idea. Have fun.

How's that novel you've been working on?

I love this clip. My protagonist is totally compelling. And only four months so far. :)

Is it true if the clubs start getting busy you guys are supposed I find the "uglies" and kick them out for being to drunk? I have heard that at nicer clubs they do this all the time, if yore not dressed up or if you are not attractive they'll start pulling then out ...

Actually when we get really busy we have no trouble finding people to kick out. If anything, people start getting away with shit that would normally get them kicked out just because we are so busy. When you have a ratio of customer to security over 50 to 1, shit happens.

But this is frequently heard on busy night, "We're at capacity, find some people to kick out." We don't however do it by looks. We rarely even do it by gender, because one of the most common types of people we kick out are drunk girls.

"Oh my god Becky! Why did you drink all of those shots! You're ruining my birthday!"

Damnit, Becky.

Becky is the worst.

I know this is a day old, but holy shit yes this. I do security here in Seattle at a bar, and it usually always the girls that are the pain in the ass and you want to throw out.

They're also the worst at the door.

Shocked expressions all around when told to pay cover. "But we're girls! We never pay cover back home!"

"You should go back there then."

Or my personal favorite, "Since when do hot girls pay cover?!"

"They don't. That will be $20 each."

Since you're here, I have a question. I have an opportunity to be a doorman at a bar in my college town a few nights a week. I think it'd be a lot of fun and I'm a big dude at 6'2 and 235. I also happen to be black which helps intimidate people for whatever reason. The problem is that I've never been in a fight. I'm slightly worried that might get me hurt at some point. I'm definitely not averse to fighting, people just don't come at me for that. Should I go for it anyways?

Sure. You don't need to know how to fight to be a bouncer. Its much more important that you are able to talk to people. Verbal judo > real judo. And most fighting, from a bouncers point of view, consists of grabbing people and dragging or pushing them out the door. A little training helps, but it's not absolutely necessary.

what's the best way for me to get into the nightclub industry? (M,21)

• be attractive
• don't be unattractive
• be swole
• don't be not swole

This.

It would depend on the job you wanted to get, what size you are, and what kind of clubs they have in your area.

If you want to bartend, go to bartending school and be willing to work as a barback for a very long time before you get to tend bar. Also, be aware that most bartending jobs are filled by women. Lots of bar owners think it's good for business.

If you have large nightclubs, especially ones that do bottle service, a better option may be to apply for a job as a bottle runner or busser. Basically, you assist a server in setting up her bottle service tables, and you make sure that they have everything they need. You also keep the club clean. In return you get a portion of the tips from the bottle service sales.

If you are somewhat attractive and charismatic become a host. You'll be popular and make pretty good money, but you have to be willing and able to go out and promote your club. The money varies wildly.

If you're a big guy and you can keep a cool head, get into security work. But be warned the pay for most security jobs is terrible. You'll make a fraction of what everyone else in the club makes, unless you are in a very good position like, running the door or controlling access to a VIP room. It can be very fun though.

If you know music and you can run the necessary software, learn to be a DJ. They can make a lot of money for very little actual work.

What is the craziest thing you have ever witnessed on the job?

I get asked this question a lot. In fact, after, "Where is the bathroom?" This may be the most frequent question I hear. The truth is, it's very hard to answer. I've been doing this for so long, and we have so many customers come through on a typical weekend, that I see more crazy stuff every week than most people see in a year. So whenever I get asked this I always try to come up with a recent anecdote.

In fact this just gave me a great idea. Redditors, feel free to ask this question repeatedly. I will try to have a unique answer for each one. This may actually be a terrible idea....

Here is yours:

Several years ago I was working at a nightclub that had a large waterfall that dropped into a pool just outside of the dance floor. On occasion customers would climb over the metal railing beside the pool and jump in. We would kick them out as soon as they got out of the pool, which was usually pretty quickly. But one customer simply didn't get out of the pool. He just stayed in there treading water and swimming from side to side.

We kept telling him to get out, but I think he realized pretty quickly that none of us were going to go jumping in the pool in our suits so he just ignored us and kept swimming. It's like 2am, so we don't have any kind of life guard on duty in the casino that could go in after him. So after awhile we gave up. We left a security out on the patio to watch him, and lead him out when he finally got tired of swimming.

After more than an hour he finally got out of the pool because he wanted a beer and we refused to bring one out to him. When he did get out, wearing just a soaked pair of boxers, he took off running through the club, mostly naked and dripping wet. He was pretty quick, and I think he would have made it all the way out, but he got lost and ran into the back hallway, where half of our security staff was standing. Plus, as we pointed out to him once he calmed down, we had his clothes, shoes, wallet, and phone. Where was he going to go?

tryst is awesome!

I loved working there. Great food in the employee dining room.

Ok.

What is the craziest thing you have ever witnessed on the job? :p

Years ago, I was walking through a packed club I was working at. I saw a petite Asian girl sitting alone in a booth with her head slumped forward. I assumed she was asleep so I shook her shoulder to wake her up. No response. I shook her harder, still no response. I did a couple more tests for unconsciousness and got nothing. So I checked her pulse. It was very slow. I called it in on the radio, picked her up and carried her back to our medic station. The medic couldn't awaken her either, so he called for an ambulance. There was one right outside the casino.

On the way to the hospital, her heart stopped. Luckily for her, they were able to revive her and she lived. She came in to the club the next month, and told us that her boyfriend had been trying for a few weeks to get her to try GHB. She had declined, so he put it in her drink that night. He was away from the table when I found her. When he saw me carrying her to the back, he took off, because he was worried about getting busted. I asked if she had broken up with him since he nearly killed her. She said no. He had apologized, and said he felt really bad. They were together like another year and a half.

tl;dr A female patron's boyfriend nearly kills her when he spikes her drink with GHB and she doesn't dump him.

What's the best way to guarantee getting into the club for a guy besides dressing well and having 2 ladies on each arm?

If I had to sweet talk a bouncer to let me in what should I talk to them about?

If it is a one time visit you should talk to them about how'd you really like to give them $20 (or more depending on how busy the club is) and pay the cover without complaining. Having girls does help, but not nearly as much as most people think. We doorman learn pretty quickly that if we ask the girls if they would like to go in without you, they will frequently bail on you.

If you're going to come more often, just strike up a conversation with us. Over time we may recognize you and let you in just because we feel like. Most of us like football. And girls. Can't really miss with those topics.

Do not:

Tell us you know the owner/manager/our boss. Ask the worst question possible, "Don't you know who I am?" Insult us in an effort to impress your girls. Push through the crowd to get to the front. Dress like a thug. Smell bad. Argue with us.

Good luck!

Which night club did you work at and what was the craziest experience you have encountered as a bouncer?

I have worked at about a dozen. I once busted a guy dealing drugs in the bathroom. We cuffed him, took him to the back room, and searched him. He had like 15 different kinds of drugs on him. He was a walking pharmacy. He's a big body builder, and when I tell him the cops are on the way to arrest him he starts bawling. Big, chest heaving, hyperventilating sobs. Like a two year old. Turns out he had just gotten out of prison and was on parole. He was facing 15 years if he got busted again.

Did you turn him in?

Yes. How would feel about someone coming in to your place of business and selling drugs to your customers? Have a few people overdose on you and you won't hesitate to have drug dealers arrested.

How did you get into the business? What was your first crazy experience?

I started bar tending as a way to make money when I got out of the military. I started doing security/bouncing/bodyguard work when a bar patron offered to pay me a lot more money than I was making behind the bar.

My first crazy experience that I can remember happened at a little dive bar I was bartending at. I had several regulars that were in almost every night. One was a married couple from Mexico that were my best tippers. One night a skinny little black guy came into the bar and started hitting on the wife the minute he walked up to the bar. She politely shot him down and her husband did it a little more forcefully, but the guy persisted.

I finally stepped in and told him to leave them alone or I'd have to ask him to leave. He ignored me and put his hand on her shoulder. So I came around the end of the bar and told him to leave. He hauled back to punch me, so I grabbed him by the neck walked him back four or five feet, and choke slammed him up against an electronic dart board with his feet about two feet off the ground.

Then I kicked the door open and threw him out onto the sidewalk. He rolled around on the ground yelling about how he was going to get a gun and shoot me. A few minutes later one of my customer went outside for a minute and when he came back in he told me he'd walked over to the Circle K across the street to grab some cigarettes and the guy was on the pay phone telling someone to bring him a gun.

So I called 911 and they sent two patrol cars to check it out. They rolled up right as his friend arrived with a little .22 pistol in his pocket and arrested both of them.

tl;dr Choke slammed a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer, almost got shot.

What are some perks of working in such an establishment?

Free admission to pretty much every club in town. Comped meals at some of the nicest restaurants in Vegas including STK and N9NE Steakhouse, free show tickets to Blue Man Group, Pen & Teller, and a bunch of concerts, free clothes, free CDs, lots of other free and discounted stuff. I've met lots of people that have hired me do private security which pays very well. I spend all night talking to people and having fun. I am surrounded by beautiful women. Free lap dances when I go to strip clubs from girls who know me from work. People bring me gifts. For example last night a customer went to the coffee shop in the casino and bought me an iced Chai Latte. I have tons of great stories I can tell people.

Have you ever been hit on to get in?

All night, every night. In a typical weekend, half a dozen girls will ask for my number. Flirting with the bouncer is a very good tactic. But's it's not 100% successful. Keep in mind it happens all night. Ladies, bring your A game. If I get to wear I remember your name even before I see your ID, that's a good sign. But also understand, even when I want to get you in the club, sometimes I can't. For example, Labor Day weekend.

What is your novel about and how long have you aspired to write?

I just finished outlining a sci fi novel and have a few chapters written, but I'm shelving it to work on a modern humor novel based on my experiences at work. I've been writing casually for years, but I started doing it seriously about a year ago.

Can promoters really get you VIP status? The last time I went to Vegas, my fiancee (she was my girlfriend at the time), her best friend, and myself would get bombarded by promoters when walking down the strip in the middle of the day. They would always tell us that they could get us into such and such a club, no cover, VIP area, etc. My fiancee and her friend are VERY attractive, but I was surprised that we got so many offers since I was with them. We ended up saying no to them and doing our own thing. Should we have listened to the promoter?

No. Pretty much none of them even work for the clubs. At best they might be independent hosts, who might be able to get you in quickly if you are buying a bottle for which the club will pay them a commission. At worst, they are scam artists who will sell you VIP tickets that they made at kinkos. Then when you come to the club and we tell you the passes are fake, you go up on the internet and complain about how WE ripped you off. We deal with this all the time.

To the best of my knowledge there is not a single club in Vegas that presells tickets outside of the club. If you want to get into the club, walk up to our velvet ropes and talk to us. Maybe hold up a little cash. If you're getting a bottle, walk up and clearly state, "I would like to get a bottle." We have people that are paid just to take care of you and make sure you won't have to wait.

Promoters are the worst. Even promoters that actually work for clubs are pretty much ignored by those of us at the door. They are like the bottom rung of the nightclub ladder. They're not even a rung. They are the little stain at the base of the ladder where somebody spilled something. Well not all of them. A few of my friends are promoters, and they're ok.

Thanks for the reply. I guess it's good that we told them no thanks. What is a decent tip to offer a doorman if you want to skip the line? Would it be more like $20, $50, or $100?

Start at $20, go up if the club is busy. That's per guy and you still pay the cover. You usually don't need to tip for girls to get a line pass, just cover.

How often are you hit on?

At least every 12 minutes. Except when I am in the bathroom, that would just get weird.

What's the craziest thing you've seen go down? Fights, guns, naked ladies, whatever.

Hard to pick just one....

A few years I was working on New Year's Eve. The club was jam, packed. People were like sardines in there. A saw a commotion ahead of me and pushed through the crowd towards it. I broke through into a clearing and there was this cute little blonde with a bunch of tattoos standing there. I could see all of the tattoos because she was as naked as the day she was born.

"Miss, where are your clothes?"

Impish smile. Vague hand wave over her left shoulder. Drunken giggle.

"What were you wearing?"

"A dress. It's white!"

"Why aren't you wearing it?"

"I was hot!"

"Have you cooled off, do you think we could go get it and put it back on you?"

"Ok!"

She took my hand and followed me through the crowd, stunned men staring at her like they'd never seen a woman before. Catcalls audible over the pounding house music.

I got her back in her dress and told her to have a good night. I saw her on Dave Atell's Insomniac a few months later.

Are there any pro-tips to getting a great table / bottle service for a good price?

Get to know a host. Always go through him when you are going to the club, even for a line pass/guest list when you're not getting a bottle. Book in advance. Tip the host. I've seen people get the same table for one bottle and a $100 tip, as another guy got for two or three bottles.

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We don't have any private rooms at the clubs I've worked at here in Vegas. Most clubs 'VIP' rooms are just big rooms with maybe a velvet rope separating it from the rest of the club. Generally there are more girls in there, and a lot more bottles on the tables.

How often to doorman/bouncers get attacked on the job? Whats your worst best injury story?

It depends on how you define an attack. I have people try to push and shove me pretty often, but mass/inertia/sobriety are usually working in my favor. So most of the time, they push themselves back or fall down. I might have to grapple a little with someone every month or two. And maybe once or twice a year someone will take a swing at me. Sometimes they connect, but I have pretty dense bone structure and plenty of padding so I don't usually get hurt. And then every once in a while a girl will bite me, or scratch me, or hit me something like a bottle or a shoe. I took a stiletto heel to the eyebrow a few weeks ago.

I've actually never really been injured as a bouncer. I've had a few muscle strains, some bumps and bruises, and a few minor cuts. I was hurt much worse when I worked as a broiler cook for three years. I have a few nasty burn scars from splashed hot oil, and once I dislocated three of my fingers when I was scooping ice too fast and hit them on the edge of the ice machine.

I realized this morning that I forgot a rather nasty injury I had on the job. I twisted my knee when I was kicking a guy out of the club. I also ruptured a pretty big vein and my whole leg was black, blue, green, and yellow for a couple of months. I had to wear a brace for about four months.

"plenty of padding" Are you fat? How much do you weigh? How tall are you?

I'm well over six foot and I weight over 400 lbs. I'm trying to slim back down to 325.

Fat fuck (my once chance to insult a bouncer without getting a broken nose).

No one ever makes fun of my weight (except for my asshole coworkers) until I kick them out or deny them entry. Then it's all, "Fatass! Fatfuck! Fatso!"

When I don't get mad, they freak the hell out and get even more pissed.

In all your 15 years, what are some of the craziest people you've met?

1. Drunk Korean girls. They are hi-larious.

2. Actual crazy people. I work in clubs located in casinos, and you get crazy homeless people wandering in off the street and yelling at you. Sometimes they throw stuff too. Or they try to hug you. There's this insane little old woman who is in love with me. Every time she shows up. "Hey _______, your girlfriend is here!" I work with a bunch of assholes.

3. Pervy old guys that hang out at the back of the crowd and grope girls. They're on like 20 cameras, but they still get surprised when we catch them. We caught a guy one time who kept pretending to stumble forward, then he would 'catch' himself by grabbing a couple girls asses. When I busted him, it turned out he worked for another casino owned by the same company as the one we were in. He was drunk so the casino security let him off with a warning. He came back and did it three more times over the next two month. I busted him every time. He ended up getting fired. Look, many of our female patrons love to spend time at the gym. And most of them clearly do lots of squats, so I can see the temptation. Hell I see it walk by me a hundred times a night, but look don't touch. And don't touch four times at a place owned by the company you work for. That's just stupid. And creepy, really really creepy.

What's the best way for me to try to tip the bouncer to get into a busy club as a single guy? I have tried just asking or putting cash in my hand and shaking the guys hand. What do you recommend? Ask a price first or just try to pay $30-$40?

Paying first is usually pretty effective. Most bouncers are hesitant to quote a price, because then word might get around that they're telling people, "Give me $ and I will get you in." That can get them fired. But if a customer gives them an unsolicited tip they can usually hook him up. But keep in mind that you will almost always have to pay cover on top of that tip. Otherwise the bouncer would be costing the owner money, and that is a no bueno.

$20 is pretty standard if the club isn't really busy. If there is a big line expect more. I have turned down $100 tips because we were too busy for me to accept such a 'small' tip. And sometimes the club is genuinely full. Most clubs will not go over capacity for fear of being shut down by the fire department. But in that situation, a good tip will ensure that you will get in as soon as someone leaves.

Top five movies??

I am terrible at picking top five anything. Here are a few I really like: The Princess Bride, Blade Runner, The Cornetto Triology, Highlander, Pitch Black, the new Batman trilogy, Lawrence of Arabia, Pulp Fiction.

What is your favorite part of your job? If you were to leave (I know you're working on getting your degree) what would be the thing you miss the most?

The girls.

Even when they make you crazy? Have you made a lot of friends at your job? Aside from the strippers, are there any people who really stick out? Do you have any cool regulars that you'll miss?

I have made lots of acquaintances. There are several dozen people that I think of as friends. The difference being that I'll hang out with friends, but acquaintances I only see at work. I have lots of regulars that I don't see as often, but they still pop in from time to time. I have a great memory for faces, so I'll remember customers that I haven't seen in years. They always seem surprised.

That's my favorite kind of service worker! I've loved a lot of my regulars from the past, some have friended me on Facebook, one couple "adopted" me as a part of their family.

I hope you have nothing but good experiences in the future, you seem like a great guy.

Also, what do you want to write?

Thanks for the well wishes. I write modern humorous fiction, with a bit of the supernatural thrown in. I'm also writing some sci fi and fantasy.

That sounds fantastic! I would like to see this happen someday!

I'm hoping to self publish my first short novel as an e-book by the end of the year.

Is the pay worth what you are dealing with at work?

The pay is good (not great), but the job is a lot of fun. You just have to learn not to take stuff personally.

What was the most intense moment for you while doing your job?

I was working as the manager at a country bar in Wyoming. I was called up one Wednesday night by one of my bartenders who told me that a road construction crew was causing trouble in the bar. I walk in, sit down, and watch them for a few minutes. There is a couple sitting at the bar. The guy gets up to use the bathroom, and the 'big guy' on the road crew trips him and he falls down. I walk over and tell them to leave. They laugh. I grab the leader and choke him out in like five seconds flat, then drop him. His head hits the hardwood floor with a crack like a rifle going off.

• I should stop to stay that this was a small town, and when I took over the place I met with the county sheriff. I asked him what was allowed and what wasn't. He shrugged and said, "Well, try not to kill anybody." So I was being a lot more aggressive that I usually would have.

There was a moment where I figured the other four were going to beat the shit out of me or grab their buddy and leave. Everything is quiet for a second then one of them steps forward right as they other three all kneel down to help their friend. The brave guy stops, looks back at his friends, frowns, and steps back. They carry their buddy out. He comes back the next day and apologizes and asks me what I did to him, he couldn't remember it.

That was a close one.

What is the general policy on the drugs that you seize? I was reading an article on Vice by a London bouncer and he said that his club had to turn in a certain amount of drugs to the police so as not to arouse suspicion, but any surplus was taken by the club owner or kept by the bouncers themselves. Has this been the same in your experience?

Nope. Everything we seize gets thrown away, flushed, or otherwise destroyed. One time we busted a guy with a really large bag of coke. Like the size of a golf ball. Our security manager dumped it out on the floor and danced a little jig on it. The guy started crying because he still owed for it. He was going to break it up and sell most of it.

Larger quantities like a bag with 40 pills in it might get turned over to the casino security staff. Any bouncer stupid enough to keep drugs he found would lose his job pretty quick. There are lots of cameras in the club, and even more sets of eyes that are on the payroll. I have seen guys fired for that. Plus we get randomly drug tested. Druggies don't go to work as bouncers in Vegas.

Are you licenses like uniformed security guards? Do clubs hire armed security?

We are registered with the state or county, not sure which it is. It requires you pass a criminal background check.

Clubs don't hire armed security. What would be the point? If one of them discharged a gun and hit a patron, they'd be out of business or arrested.

Do people actually get beat up in strip clubs for misbehaving, or is that myth?

Almost never. There is one very infamous case involving the Crazy Horse Too in Las Vegas. In 2001 a bouncer broke a patrons neck and paralyzed him. This is the exception to the norm. Most bouncers, if they know what they are doing, won't do anything that could hurt a patron. The lawsuit and possible jail time that would be sure to follow is a great deterrent. For example, the last time I saw a bouncer in Vegas throw a punch was 3 or 4 years ago.

Plus it's just not necessary. There are lots of us. We're for the most part bigger, better trained, and definitely more sober than our customers. So it's usually just a matter of restraining the patron until they calm down and then escorting them out. And that's when physical contact is actually necessary. Most patrons take one look at guys my size and leave when we ask them too.

How many push ups do you do a day?

0

I love Vegas. I had a great time at a club called surrender (I'm sure you've heard of it) but having that great time was ridiculously expensive. Is there a way to have a great time with bottle service on a cheaper budget at an similar level of upscale club?

Not really. Some clubs will offer BOGO (Buy one get one) specials on really slow weekends or slow nights. But they will usually only do this for regulars. You can sometimes find $100 bottles (Skye vodka) at less popular clubs, but you get what you pay for. Another option is find a group of people to split a bottle with you. This won't work on busy nights, because the clubs have a bottle minimum if they are busy. Like one bottle for every 4 or 5 people in the party.

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Many. But it seems to be young Asian girls who go nuts over me. They have some kind of big bald guy with a goatee fetish.

My favorite cougar story involves a smoking hot 40+ year old swinger who kept trying to take me home for like a year. I might have gone for it if it wasn't for her creepy husband who, "Liked to watch." He looked like someone who belonged on a sex offender registry.

About 8 months ago I went to one of the more well-known Vegas strip clubs. I had had a few drinks but I wasn't wasted. Unfortunately, I was by myself. At some point I blacked out and when I came to, it as 9AM and I had 2 nasty black strippers dancing on me in a private room. The club showed me several bills that I don't remember signing totaling $10,000.

Question: Do Vegas strippers roofie customers to take advantage?

Not that I've heard of, just lots of alcohol. You should have challenges those charges with your credit card company. If you were impaired they would probably charge them back. The club would have to have a legible signature and some form of evidence that you were aware of what you were signing such as video of you signing.

I did challenge. The club kept copies of all receipt with side-by-side photo copies of my ID. ultimately I fucked up, but I sincerely think the dancers, bouncers and managers of this place have some procedures in place to take advantage of dipshit easy targets like me.

They do.

Are you in the UNLV MFA program? How do you like it?

I'm actually a STEM major, but I take writing classes for fun. I really like the workshops.

What's the most hilarious way you've ever seen a guy try to end up in bed with one of the strippers?

Well the obvious one that comes to mind is buying lots of lap dances. "If I just buy one more, she'll be mine!"

But for sheer hilarious sadness, I'd have to go with a guy that used to come into one of the clubs I worked at. He was obsessed with this stripper and he would come in almost every time she worked. This was in another state, that didn't allow lap dances, so the dancers were up on a stage and danced for tips.

He wouldn't tip her. Instead he'd bring her flowers or little stuffed animals and write her the sappiest love letters you can imagine. The girls would read them back in the dressing room and laugh their asses off. He genuinely believed that she was going to fall in love with him and they would get married. I had to kick him out one time. I can't even remember why. He freaked out because she was going to be the next dancer on stage. He started screaming about how she loved him and how mad she would get if I kicked him out. He was fighting me with like all of his scrawny little might, but the second I got him out the door he just went limp and started crying. He curled up on the ground by the door and just sat there bawling for like 15-20 minutes.

In second place would be the packs of roided out guidos from New Jersey who constantly talk about how loaded they are, but then they never spend any money. They all leave the club later talking about all the girls they could have taken home, but they just didn't feel like it.

Have you slept with any stripper, if so, how was it like and what led up to it?

Yes. It was nice, I had good dreams. We had sex, and then I was tired, so we slept.

Heading to Vegas to propose in October.

How do I go about getting VIP?

Spend a lot of money. Tip early and generously. Get in touch with a host for the place you want to book and book everything in advance. They usually have to turn in a certain number of table reservations and guest list patrons every night. Help him hit that number and he will appreciate it.

Have you ever seen "Roadhouse"?

So many times. Dalton is a god.

Thanks for doing this.

I have a few questions.

When asked for ID and I don't have it for whatever reasons, is there any way I can convince you to let me in? (I'm 27, Male, but I still get asked for my ID a fair bit)

How much would the average bouncer put his neck out to stop trouble? I mean I've heard of people in other security jobs (e.g. unarmed police building guards, here in UK) just running away at any real trouble (especially anyone armed)?

Why do you always laught at my ID? :(

OK, Thanks

1. Many states, including Nevada, have laws that require you to have photo ID with date of birth on your person, when you are in an establishment that serves alcohol. This isn't just because we have to make sure you are 21. If you get into a drunken brawl and get arrested, get pulled over for a DUI, or get sent to the hospital with alcohol poisoning, the emergency services want to be able to identify you. No proof of identity/age, no service.

2. I wouldn't risk serious personal injury for my job. I don't get paid that much and I don't have medical insurance. So any injury would result in a worker's comp claim. I'd take a punch to keep a coworker or a female patron from being hurt, and I have several times. Guys, you're on your own.

3. Were you making a funny face? Is your face funny looking? Is your name Susan?

Thanks for answering!

Re 3: i think it's the probably the hair, I was going through a kurt cobain phase when I got my id pic taken and also the fact I look like 12 in it.

Edit: also your susan comment made me think of this glorious Johnny Cash song: http://tunebang.com/?b=Johnny+Cash+-+A+Boy+Named+Sue

Making fun of ID photos is one of my favorite ways to pass time at work. Made a stupid face at the DMV? Recreate that exact expression or I won't let you in!

Not sure if serious but funny nonetheless. I can just imagine a huge 400 lb bouncer holding up the line saying "Make the face... Now!"

I do this all the time. I never have anyone refuse to make the face, although I do have to ask several times on occasion. I wouldn't really keep them from entering, but no one has called my bluff so far. Plus their friends always pile on and make them do it.

"Dude make the face! Heh, you look stupid."

Fairly new to Reddit but I do a lot of reading and yours is the first I actually read all the way to the end so thank you for the entertainment. Trying not to repeat a question, I saw someone say what was the most hilarious thing someone tried to do to sleep with a stripper and that pathetic guy story was told. What would you consider is the best chance to actually take home a stripper would be...aside from turning her into a hooker?

Thanks again and best of luck with book sales at the end of the year

Be really attractive, have lots of money, or be famous. Or any combination of the three. It's just like hitting on any other girl. Just this girl wants your money right now, so she can spend it on stuff. And she's not wearing much. And she's probably at work to earn, not to meet guys. So if you're not buying dances, she'll go to someone else. Plus you sort of creep her out, whether she admits it to herself or not.

But the WHOLE thing about strip clubs, is that they are supposed to make you think you have a chance with them. If a girl walked up and said, "Hey I'll grind on your crotch for 3 1/2 minutes for $20, but there is absolutely zero chance that I'll ever give you my number or see you outside of work." You probably wouldn't buy many dances. But if she says things like:

"I really like your eyes." - You're in a dark room lit by blacklights and amber blubs. She has no idea what your eyes look like.

"Let's just hang out and talk for awhile." - I have discovered that customer buy more dances if I spend ten minutes pretending to pay attention to them before I ask if they want a dance. I also get more dances from each customer.

"Buy me a drink?" - I like alcohol.

And so on, and so on.

If you want to take home a stripper, find out where they hang out after work and hit on them there. There is a little dive bar just off the strip that is like a few blocks away from a half dozen strip clubs. Several of my friends have picked up dancers there. Two of them didn't even bother going home and just got busy in a bathroom stall. I see guys leave the club I work at with off duty strippers all the time.

And thank you by the way.

How easily are you able to tell the difference between an LV local and a tourist out of town?

They're pretty easy to tell apart. Tourists spend a lot of time looking around at all of the distracting visuals in the casinos. Locals are a lot more jaded. Plus most locals come in all the time, so after a while, I recognize most of them.

Thanks.

BTW have you ever read Rob Fitzergerald's old blog Standing on the Box http://standingonthebox.blogspot.jp/ ? [ He has since moved it to http://standingonthebox.com/ ] He first blogged anonymously as a NYC bouncer but "came out" about the same time he published his first book, Clublife: Thugs, Drugs, and Chaos at New York City's Premier Nightclubs http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0046LUDI8

Not yet, but I'll check it out.

Any interesting bribes you've gotten? And taken?

I get flashed a lot. But they never ask in advance if that will get them in, so they usually end up disappointed. I also get, "Hey, she's single." as her friends shove towards me. I usually politely decline. I accepted once, and she made me lasagna the next day. It was yummy.

How many bouncers sell drugs?

It's supposed to be zero, but I've known a few over the years that did it. They were all caught eventually.