Hi, I'm Michael Klimkowski, the fake Joel Osteen who got kicked out of his event! AMA

Are you ever worried that Joel Osteen is going to come to your neighborhood and pretend to be you and get into all sorts of trouble?

hahaha I would to do a video where joel pretends to be me and valets cars

Hey Michael, I absolutely love that video. I have 2 questions:
1. How many times were you sure that someone was going to bust you as a Faux-Joe?
2. Would you be open to the idea of opening a neighboring megachurch to rival Joel Osteen's, where you'd deliver satirical sermons that use only the Lord of the Rings as source material?

here you'd deliver satirical sermons that use only the Lord of the Rings as source material?

He has to go by J.O.L. Tolksteen

hahah I like that. Chill-bro-baggins

I mean, LotR is HEAVILY influenced by Christianity, unlike Olsteen.

edit: stupid autocorrect i

definitely some allegory there

I love this premise we need to get you on the dabsden.com writing team. Great premise!!!!

and my cross!

And my spear!

And my inherent guilt!

Is this a 13th Warrior quote?

Did anyone figure it out that it wasn't Joel? what was your response?

They did! I would just laugh and say I'm his tall brother!!

With this impersonating gig and acting etc.... do you make a decent living in general?

I park cars everyday. I have to be at work at 11am today. So I'm gonna wrap this up at 10:30am pst. I'm trying to get paid solely to doing acting and comedy with my dabs den crew

Hey! Fellow valet here. Nice way to earn a living. Can make it pretty good where I'm from.

Respect! Watch thos angles and never trust back up cams

What's the most expensive car you've parked?

I've parked Jaimee Foxx's Bugati

Joel Osteen's car obviously.

He rides an arc

Don't know if he'll answer this but honestly they all just become a blur after a while. I've parked Lamborghinis, Bentleys, everything you can think of.

No big deal really. No time to really do anything other than park it and get back up to the valet area to do it all over again.

Yeah I agree! At this point I just want a comfortable car that's easy to enter and exit

Dude, keep up the amazing work. I swear If I were a director id cast you. Fucking Hilarious.

Thank you!!!!

When and where are Dab Den Crew tryouts? Im a funny guy and can roll the best blunts so i think I fit well.

We don't hold tryouts, but if you're in LA come guest on a video

Have you been introduced to Justin Roiland? He is obsessed with Osteen. I think you two could do some great things together.

No I'd love to meet him I love Rick and Morty. Hook it up dude

Do people ever get mad at you for looking like Joel Osteen, after telling them you’re not him?

Not mad, but impossibly disappointed. Just kidding. No they liked the gag

What inspired the stunt?

I didn't necessarily want to do this I had to. With our uncanny resemblance it was insane.

You look an awful lot like Littlefinger as well, maybe you should go to Washington?

Thank you, Chaos is a ladder that I will climb in my fancy joel suit

Yeah you'd fit right in as a city councilor for a mid Atlantic city, say like Baltimore, hell you could probably even become mayor or some shit, or even governor.

Straight out of The Wire

Confession i am a white guy and i haven't seen the wire

The Joel Osteen we need, but don't deserve.

love this

Did you want to take your shirt off?

For sure I have semi-jacked abs

Can we see?

J.O. would like to give people a little peek.

It is said that one who both is and is not JO will come to evolve our JO crystals to the next level with his pearlescent energies and pretty decent abs.

edit: /u/MichaelKlimkowski eats JO crystals.

I eat precious crystals and minerals every day and then to 1,000 sit ups to maintain my chiseled 6pack. Also, I do crossfit. JK JK

If you check out his new video he's shirtless.

Yeah check out ostend' day off

Osteen's day off*

We are having a retrospective on the comedic stylings of Mr. Martin Short, would you be available to attend?

I'm in LA are you in Florida? I love Martin Short!!!

Hey I’M in LA. You should make some short Osteen parody videos

Osteen playlist on my youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBERBTmKKnQ

Thank you guys I am sigingin off now!! I'm glad you enjoyed the video I'm always posting more with dabsden.com! I've got to go to work and park cars now ahahah! Have a, "Blessed Day!"

What was the nuttiest thing you heard a church member say, whether to you, or something you overheard?

I specifically told a lady I wasn't joel because she was getting too emotional and she refused to believe i wasn't him.

Did you at any point reasonably believe you were going to jail? It might be intimidating but they had literally no grounds to arrest you. Maybe things are different up here in Canada, but seems like the most they could do is remove you from the premises.

Oh yeah we were all scared we were going to jail. I didn't want to go to jail and for some reason I was alike ahhhh I'm gonna have to call my mom.

My siblings are lawyers also, and when I told them about it they seemed confident that all we couldn't really have been charged with anything besides being big balled comedy boyzzz

I'm sure the cops considered arresting you but then decided having to go through life looking like Joel Osteen is punishment enough.

Seriously though, in the video you keep asking for a beer. Did you know Osteen doesn't drink and that was part of the joke? Were you afraid that would blow your cover?

Yes our original premise was to go to things joke would never do. Check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mFsbfuNrzQ

Thanks for answering! Couple followups if you have time. I read somewhere that the cops thought it was funny. Were you joking around with them? Did their reaction to it make the security guard real salty?

Once they figures out we were a small crew and doing a comedy video the security guy calmed down. The cops were never amped up.

The cops were all very nice!

In most of the United States, and especially in California, he could have been arrested for trespassing if someone wanted to push the issue.

Wouldn't he have to not comply with a request to leave the premises first? It seems like entrapment to not let him leave (they block his exit) and then charge with trespassing.

I thin they event security wanted to cover their butts

How many beers did you get at the event?

oh bummer they weren't selling beers, but I had a few after

Are you worried Joel Osteen will now attempt to take some sort of legal action against you?

No. There isn't really anything bad we did. This is probably good press for him

The video was a blast. Did you have any ideas of what to say/do if you came face to face with J.O?

I would ask him If I could go to the bank for him. Cash a check!!!

Are you going to try and do this again? Did the guy that asked you if you knew his name tattle on you to security?

We are definitely going to do something again! That guy didn't give us away, security came through the fences right as that was happening and we bolted out of the arena

Kudos for pranking a religious event without turning it into an anti-religion circlejerk. Is a hot dog a sandwich?

Yeah I wanted to steal clear of any stance on religion. People have their beliefs I respect those. This video was just meant to be a roller coaster of a ride! evoke laugh and joy

A hot dog is not a sandwich to me! It's a back up when there's no decent burger

That was sweet. What sort of stuff did you leave out?

It was super fun! We left out some stuff of people opening up and me having to break character to keep things from getting out of the comedy realm.

Wow that's real. That's the stuff that made me reluctant to watch your video because I did not want to have to deal with that awkwardness

agreed. Some people love that awkward stuff. I never wanted the joke to be the people I was interacting with. I wanted to see what absurdities I could get away with as Joel

Have you ever met J.O? If so what was his reaction?

Id did meet JO at a book signing. They kicked us out for filming there so we couldn't get the reaction of his. It was mellow and lackluster anyway.

How much rehearsal did you do going into this versus doing it on the fly?

I have don scripted Osteen videos before and those are more rehearsed for sure. At this point for this video I felt comfortable enough to stay in character and try something gonzo. Something different. We had to do something new this time around

How do we know you aren't just Joel Osteen impersonating Michael Klimkowski?

I wake up and ask myself that question everyday in the mirror. then i look at my bank account and i know i'm michael

Hey, dude! Loved the video.

I tried to do a similar sort of thing (getting into an event without a pass) and was wondering what, in your experience - is the #1 most effective way to look or act like you belong in a place, in order to get in without a ticket?

Thanks so much for your time! :)

Look exactly like the guy hosting the event! JK. Dude it was all about remaining calm and confident and acting like you belonged. Also, the fact that we had camera men with us and the director John Parr made it look very official.

What would you do differently if you could do the whole stunt over again and how would you react if you bumped into the real Joel?

Also are you of Polish descent ?

Honestly we had a great crew!!! I would have tried to go deeper into the green room and get face to face if security didn't boot us hahah. I am of polish decent. Jindobre? Is that hello

If you had gotten on the stage, would you have tried to do a "practice" run?

I would've done and on the spot sermon about how to maintain your rage while driving in LA

Hey man! Do you think you'll be coming to Houston to fuck with Joel? Many of us hate the guy after how he handled Harvey victims. If you do hit me up I live down the street from Lakewood.

EDIT: moderators Joel-Osteen's-security-ed my post before because I didn't ask a question. Changed it.

I want Joel to invite me to his event and I can do a little in character preaching. It would be gold!!

How did the real police react when they showed up? Vs. the very "Christian" security guard we see in the video lol

Real police were much chiller they were laughing saying how much i looked like joel hahaha. the security dude was the real presser

Do you believe in him at all? Are you a man of faith, or are you (like most of us around here) disillusioned and disgusted by this man's actions (or lack thereof) in the wake of the tragedies in Houston?

He handled the houston tragedy terribly. I actually did a video about it! It's called Hurricane Joel. I mean most televangelists are in it mostly for the money. Not to say they can't do some good for people, all I'm saying is I wouldn't take any money

For all the people coming up to meet "Joel Osteen" and being shocked, did anyone point you out as an imposter?

Some people knew i wasn't but they still loved it!

Are you planning on doing more of this and how did the idea come to mind?

Your impersonation of J.O was hilarious!

I'm always putting up comedy with dabsden.com probably more joel for sure too. Idea can cause I look so much like him.

I'm digging your videos man, I see the start of a fortuitous new venture for you. My question is-how did you mentally prepare for your grand entrance? You look like you practiced some cordial lines, but how did you ward off the nervousness? Cause that was ballsy

It was crazy I just trusted my dabsden buddies and we all had each other's backs and i had to double down on the character to get anywhere.

Was that your house you shot the “osteen’s day off” video? If so it’s lovely and please invite me to do coke with you

ahahahahah I've valeted cars at houses like that!! That was a friend of the director of that video's friend. David Michor killed it on that video.

Is it hard being God?

hahaha It's pretty easy since I'm my own boss. Vacation whenever I want!!!!

May sound dumb, but why didn't you just run at the end?? Were there cops there, or just security? I was thinking I would've just ran away lol. Were you tresspassed in the end?

The directors john parr and reggie henke wanted more coverage. it's all about coverage. in the time we debated staying or going we were already being apprehended.

Would you consider doing on-the-go church rallies under the name 'Joel Osten' then actually donating the money to charity?

That sounds like a great idea. Id expand to an all out comedy event try to get more comedians involved. Love this!

Are you considering doing more stunts like this in the future?

Definitely now after the positive buzz! Thank you!

Did you call that guy on the security team out for the “sit on the fucking bench” remark? Seems like a man of God’s security guy would be a little bit more concerned with the Lord watching over him.
Also, as a Houstonian, you should have been tellin them “Bless your heart” instead of “God bless you” since that’s basically a kind hearted “fuck you” in Texas. They’d have never known! It’s the perfect crime!

WE all kinda laughed when he said that. We were scared of going to jail for sure but that caught us off guard

Can you post links to some of your other Joel videos? They are all amazing!

here is one that's gold https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mFsbfuNrzQ

My channel has a ton of videos. Also, tonysoprano14 will be posting links as well

Who's the funniest member of dabs den? The smartest? The hottest?

John Parr

what's the most famous movie that you haven't seen?

Citizen Cane

So how many different pronunciations have you heard of your last name?

mainly people just skip the L

Are you banned from any churches after this?

No i pay good money jk jk jk

Do you have any future plans to crash another event?

I'd love to open up for Osteen do some jokes in character. and Possibly crash idk

That video was hilarious! I'm curious, are you a religious man at all IRL?

I'm Catholic! I am a CEO Christmas Easter Only. Pascal!

So how did it end? Security just hassled you and then you eventually got up and left?

No they escorted us off property in some nice limo golf carts. I wanted to ride reverse cause that's most badass way, but I had to sit in them middle seat

How would you have reacted if someone you went up to claimed to have been faith healed by you?

I would've broke character for that I don't wanna intrude on anyone's actual faith or anything. a scripted bit of that would be great though

Do you know of Joel osteen's response or if he knew about it? How much preparation did you do to ready yourself for this event?(his speech patterns, hairstyle, mannerisms, ect.)

WE were contacted by a news source in houston today they said that wasn't his crazy security guy. I think I cut him in line for a hot dog earlier and he wanted revenge so he posed as a security guy. JK

What's your personal opinion of Joel? I know his public image has been shifted slightly because of what happened during Harvey.

Also, how often do people mistake you for him outside of his events?

I do my best to not judge joel, though is harvey fiasco made it tough not too. I have created my own joel persona and try to focus on that

Did you have a plan in case you ran into Joel? Loved your video, haven't laughed that hard in ages!

I would've asked for his debit card

Did they arrest you?

no just booted and never can go back

To the LA Forum, or to a Joel Osteen event?

Forum

Did anyone in the crowd recognize you as an imposter at any point? And if so how did you react

Yes some guy new and asked me about another paster.

The video was fantastic. Well done! Did anyone ask you to heal them, or do anything else that was kind of beyond your comfort zone (outside of just smiling and waving to the crowd)?

I tried to keep it moving fast to keep from getting to that. If I did that falsely to somebody it might be too hurtful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh2PChNBDds

This is Jay Farnie's content he edited the video. He's a beast

Favorite pizza topping?

Stuffed spinach giradano's it's technically a stuffing not a topping in know. Topping plain old pepperoni

Are you going to pursue a career in being the fake Joel ? I could really see some epic comedy coming from it

Possibly, I'd love to do a charity tour with comedian's where i do a joel and they do other original characters. Make it like a comedic healing event. But give all donations to charity.

Thinking of opening a church or starting a cult?

Cult baby! I'm in it for the tax cut and to influence your minds for my personal benefit.

Have you any new characters or impressions in development since your Character Reel of May 2017?

Yes I do a live character show every month called Character World at iO West. Scripted comedy is my passion. Please check out dabsden.com I'm making anew reel for SNL this year in the spring and to submit to JFL