I'm an Apache mechanic for the US Army. I'm halfway through a 24 hour shift so ama!

What's the weakest part of an Apache?

The pilots haha :p

Which part of the pilot specifically?

His brain.

Aircraft mechanics, using a high diploma to fix what a college degree fucked up.

Hahaha yup for real!

And alot better than military police..

Who likes them anyway???

It's true though, isn't it? To an extent. Afaik some guy hit an Apache pilot with a PK or something similar.

Well they're not completely invincible, but they should be!!

NOT_TALIBAN

ಠ_ಠ

redditor for 5 hours

Holy shit these guys are efficient. He did say he's not a taliban though. We'll have to get our Top Men to handle this.

I started a new account for this because my other is jacked up on my phone.

Can't work phone properly, but responsible for multimillion dollar aircraft and the lives of two?

Yeah pretty much

Hello Comrade. What are the launch codes? I am curious only with intentions of good. I am friend so it is okay.

Its ABC123.

...baby, you and me girl!!!!!! I just buy tape at market yesterday with song!!!! That was easy comrade, much thanks!!!

Of course!!

i have the same combination on my luggage!

Say whaaaattttt?!?!?!

A while back another Apache mechanic was on here and said that one night before the end of their shift they stuck their dick in the barrel of the M230...so have you felt the power of the M230 on your manhood?

Haha no I haven't :p

Well if you do, make sure you use protection. Theres no telling how many dicks have been in that M230.

Good idea, I'm glad you mentioned it!

Yeah I've heard they're talking about moving to that. I can only pray for it!

wrong comment?

haha yeah i have no idea where that was supposed to go :p

Some guys just have too much free time on their hands. Hope your keeping yourself busy, my brother must have watched hundreds of hours of stuff on Netflix while on 24hr watch. He had the pleasure of being an intel officer aka someone lost their keys, time to fill out paperwork.

Oh yes, plenty of time to catch of on movies and TV shows.

How the fuck does the army think anybody is any good at anything after 12 or so hours?

They're all just a bunch of good idea fairies.

I was wondering the same thing, are they understaffed or something? not sure it makes sense to have someone who is probably tired fixing very expensive toys. how often do you have to do these types of shifts?

Its like free labor, just less people they have to hire. I do it once every few months.

How long does it actually take for an Apache to take of, from stationed to of the ground? My experience in Battlefield 4 is kind of unrealistic :P

Haha well if the pilots are on time and everything goes smoothly, at least 30-45 minutes.

30 minutes?

Well for you we make special extra fast launch times :) Enjoy those Hellfires! :)

Wow.... So even if America's alarms were to go off.. It would not take any shorter time?

Oh no way quicker then. Downrange the QRF is ready in like 5-10 minutes. That's just the regular training stuff that takes forever.

Does the Apache have a "Jesus nut"? ( a single piece of hardware that, if it fails, oh boy...)

Yup!

What's the best and worst thing about your job?

Best thing is getting to shoot all the cool super hooah guns. Since I'm not combat arms its far and few in between ranges. The worst is doing stupid tasks that come up, like cleaning the motor pool or the butt early formations because one person screwed up.

I was a wrench for yrs at Ducati. Every good tech rode the bike after doing anything to it to make sure it preformed properly. My question is, do u get to take them for a quick lap after fixing them?

I wish! We have test pilots to do checks.

Damn. I know it's not comparable but I used to love putting the customers property through the paces! This AMA would've had a lot more stories, and consequences! Haha

Hahaha yeah it'd be epic if we could!

Why test pilots ? are they not as valuable as regular pilots ?

No they are the more experienced ones.

Why did you join the army and how did you became an apache mechanic?

Well I didn't wanna do college and many of my family members were in as well. Its a cool opportunity if you are ok with everything it entails. And I loomed at all the jobs they had and thought it'd be cool to be a crew chief for the most badass helicopter ever.

you cant call yourself a crew chief if you don't fly on the bird, silly. pfft. 15R's. :P

Runner upper dude, run

This guy gets it.

How did the Native American fix his teepee?

Very carefully so he wouldn't have to do it again.

Apache here. Apache there.

Where is here? Isn't here just there without the "T"?

I think that was accidentally more profound than you meant it to be.

Actually I've been saying that for years and have spent a lot of time thinking about it.

Do you fix Apache helicopters, or are you a more general purpose mechanic of Apache descent?

No I am specific to the Apache. However, it wouldn't be too hard to cross train to another airframe.

Woosh (not the sound of a rotor). I think he was asking if you are an American Indian.

Haha yes I see that now. No I am not, but I am extremely tired.

What's your next goal?

My next goal is to get out and propose to my girlfriend and finally settle down.

Oh congratulations

Thanks!

So you haven't proposed yet?, does your girlfriend know that you will be proposing to her?

Kinda. She thinks it'll be a different time though haha :p

Have you thought of how you're going to propose?

My suggestion: Have one of your machines fire a rocket at her that explodes and releases the ring in a parachute. It's an elaborate and massive misuse of government property but it'd be so romantic.

And totally badass!

Which do you love more, the Apaches or this woman?

My woman for sure!!

Is there any section of the aircraft that just sucks as a mechanic, i.e. Hard to work on or just poorly engineered?

Yeah the back of the transmission bay where it meets the catwalk on the tailboom sucks. Its a tight space with a buttload of crap that's awkward to fix sometimes.

Try almost anything in the nose section of a Kiowa sometime. I'm very excited not to have to work on them anymore.

Yeah I've heard they're they worst.

Do you guys specialize on a specific system or generally do everything?

There's two MOS's for the Apache. A 15R is the mechanical side, which is what I am, and the 15Y which is electrical. So between the two jobs we can pretty much fix 99% of the broken things.

What is that last 1%?

Like when it does a crash landing, they usually just blow it up if its overseas.

3rd MOS: EOD

Haha yeah pretty much!

So it has a self-destruct option?

Awesome.

Do they also have ejection seats, how does that work? Do they blow the propellor off with seperate explosives?

Bahahaha I love hearing this!!! Nope none at all actually!

You don't have an airframes/hydraulics shop like we do in the Marines?

We do have airframe which we use sometimes. We have a hydraulics guy, but he's pretty much useless for the -64. We don't repair hydraulic lines, we just replace them.

Do you always have/get all the parts you need or do you sometimes need to improvise?

Yeah every now and again we have a part rushed out to us.

My roommate is a veteran and I'm still active. He swears one of his buddies who was an apache mech said you couldn't wear a digital watch around the chopper cause it would arm the weapon system. I said that must be complete nonsense. Confirm or deny?

Hahaha no not at all! But you can't wear watches while working on it anyway for safety issues.

I'd assume the weapon system being armed while you're doing mechanical work would be a bit of a safety issue.

Hahaha extremely :p

How does an Apache work?

It defies all gravitational laws. Its kinda like the badass outlaw.

Helicopters don't fly. They beat the air into submission.

I couldn't have said it better!

What do u do on your freetime sir?

I love driving, fishing, building computers, and I'm also a youth leader at my church.

Don't listen to that guy, there's a lot of soldier/Christian bashers. You get used to them

Oh yeah I know, those people don't phase me at all. Especially on the internet haha :)

Is there anything you really love or really hate about your job?

I love shooting guns and seeing the birds work with tanks in exercises. I absolute hate running at 0630 on Mondays.

What does your tribe think about you working for the US government? I imagine Thanksgiving is tense.

There's been a lot of confusion on that. I'm an AH-64 Apache helicopter mechanic.

Isn't it true that Chinooks are faster than Apache's- Unless, of course, the Apache is in a sling under the Chinook?

Yup chinooks are the fastest helicopter the army has!

The Apache came out in the 1980s...does the technology feel dated at times? How?

Well they just came out with a new Echo model and its pretty badass. So yeah, not so dated.

Is an Apache American made? Surely. And is it put together by using metrics or standard?

Its built down in AZ using standard. 'Murica!

I remember reading on reddit that Army helicopters are forever dripping hydraulic fluid, and the mechanics would alarmed if they weren't.
Is that true?
I like the idea of it, but find it hard to believe.

Well its not like a constant drip, but a bit here and there happens, especially during maintenance.

Shouldn't you be working?

Isn't a 24 hour shift against the law. How does the Army manage fatigue for such shifts?

Shouldn't you be working?

I feel like if any other government employee (non-military) took time off to do an AMA, the libertarians would be in here having a fit.

I'm not taking time off. I am on duty doing exactly what I should be and that happens to be sitting at a desk for 24 hours.

Hey, happy armed forces day! Thanks for serving.

My boyfriend's in the reserves. You've said you haven't been deployed, so just for future knowledge, what's your best advice for being overseas for so long (for the soldier, but maybe even for the SO, since you got a girl at home)?

Well there's a lot of things. The biggest is to keep in contact in anyway possible. Heay get lucky and go somewhere with internet and phones. Either way, send lots of physical mail and care packages for him and his buddies. See what they need that is really hard to get, like the basics. Snacks, batteries, toiletries, magazines, newspapers from home, photos and stuff like that. And always make sure you tell him how you are feeling. Long distance is soooo crappy but it is more than worth it when he gets back.

Do you not think that a 24 hour shift is potentially dangerous? Tiredness is a thing and I know after being awake too long mistakes can happen...

Oh extremely. But the army has all this free labor. Its super stupid.

A never-deployed Army crew chief? Wow. And you're taking pictures of the flightline as well as the flight deck? Smooth move.

As a fellow aircraft maintainer (Air Force) i would think twice about those photos.

First of all, its the flight line. Second, we all do it all the time. Just can't post open panels. Calm down Mr. Chair Force.

Your best response was that i made flightline one word? Chair force? You obviously don't fix planes.

Alright, don't believe me. See if I care. Call me a phony. Whatever helps you sleep.

Apaches are so OP. If a pilot fires off all his biggest baddest guns at once in one of your Apaches, roughly how much destructive energy is the thing dealing out per second?

It has all the DPS. ALL OF IT!

Why didn't you score higher on your ASVAB?

-With love, USAF avionics/CDDAR (our version of your DART) <3

Actually I scored a 90 on it.

Can an Apache really catch Eleanor?

Well that's not an apache, but yes it could. And if not, then it'd be more than capable of demolishing it.

How was life like in Korea?

It was pretty cool being there. Going up to Seoul was always fun. Unfortunately the snowboarding sucked but the culture and food was really good!

Who is your CIC of scheduling? I want to rip him a larger asshole. 24 hour shift is ridiculous working on expensive high tech equipment. Pilots depend on you not making an error in judgement. You better be getting several 2 hour breaks to nap.

Haha well the entire military does it. We get the next 24 hours off but it still sucks.

Since your around the planes have you ever thought about being an actual pilot?

I have put a lot of thought into it. It'd be a freaking sweet job, but I don't want to have to move my family around all the time. Its definitely family over work for me, but its not like that for everyone.

Do you have as many dumb-ass FCF's as we do with H60's? What kind of maintenance information system do you use? Why did you have your phone on the flight-line?

Yeah we do, I can't answer that question and because no one cares.

I just wanted to thank you for your service.

Did you enjoy Korea? If you weren't deployed, what did you do there?

I did enjoy it! And its just lime a regular duty station now.

You have a cool job. It's far before your time, but do you have any thoughts on the Boeing-Sikorsky RAH-66 Comanche? Is there need for a leap forward in attach helicopter technology that the Apache platform cannot be upgraded to and are are Apaches showing their age in any way?

Well from what I've heard is that the -66 isn't worth it right now. Its retarded expensive. They are actually just phasing in a new model, the AH-64E. Its a definite upgrade for sure.

I'm currently in the Army and plan on dropping a flight packet in the next year or so after I get back from Afghanistan. How much maintenance (if any) do the pilots do, and is there any way to learn how to do it without being an actual helicopter mechanic?

They just check out the bird to see if there are any tools or things left on it and to make sure everything looks good. Its very minimal. And if you get accepted they'll teach you all of that in training.

My father was a 67 Tango (UH-60 mechanic. Have you ever played any Apache relates pranks on people?

My dad told me of a time when a young green LT was being an ass, so when he went to run up one of the Blackhawks after a phase completion, he rolled a Jesus Nut down the windscreen and made that young LT scream like a girl.

Haha haha that's freaking hilarious!

What's a typical schedule for a 24 hour shift? Light to nothing from 9pm to 9am?

How long does it take to learn how to work on helicopters? What was the most difficult thing to learn? What's the most difficult part of your job?

Yeah pretty much. Cleaning sometimes too. And training for it was 4.5 months. Lockwire aka safety wire is probably the hardest and it sucks.

Isn't safety compromised making you work 24 hour shifts, when repairing highly technical vehicles, later on in the shift?

I don't work on the helicopter while on the 24 hour shift due to the safety concerns.

Are the pilots happy that they put their lives in the hands of a maintenance crew who's been on duty for 24hr?

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/25ui2z/im_an_apache_mechanic_for_the_us_army_im_halfway/chkxy18

I'm here in Korea right now. Were you with 602 or 4-2 during your tour?

I was in D Co 4-2. What are you in?

What is the minimum eyesight requirement to be a helicopter pilot? Just curious :P

You have to have pretty much perfect vision. Its ok if you had PRK bit if you got Lazik then its an automatic disqualification.

Why would having Lazik disqualify you?

Its because of the way the do the surgery. LASIK and PRK are different some how and that's all I know.

Just out of curiousity, when did you ship for basic? I was slated to be a 15r and ship out Dec 09, but ended up in the Air Force instead.

I left in April 2011.

Nice snivel gear, dirtbag.

Completely authorized on the flight line dick nugget.