I show people my boobs for money. I like Skyrim. Will someone bring me a Sprite?

Comments: 437 • Responses: 84  • Date: 

nickleEYE51 karma

Is there sex in the champaign room?

hufflepuffinweed47 karma

It depends where you are and what kind of stripper you're with. I do not sex anyone in the champagne room.

Nathan_Flomm15 karma

Why not? You were an escort before, no?

hufflepuffinweed50 karma

Noooo. I booked their calls for them in a tiny office, handled the agency's cut of the money, posted online ads, etc. Its never the girl in the picture-- by the way.

Nathan_Flomm30 karma

Oh, I thought you worked AS an escort.

Its never the girl in the picture

I know...I mean...that's what I heard.

hufflepuffinweed20 karma


thisonesjustforfun6 karma

Well, not in the cards but some of the sites are legit, and you can find real girls on the review sites.

Or just stand in the hotel lobby and look like you have money after 10pm.

hufflepuffinweed7 karma

Right! Most of the sites that are legit require some sort of monthly/annual fee though. Hotel lobbies are definitely your best bet!

indieshometownhifi6 karma

I used to collect hundreds of those pictures and then put them all over my brothers suite and also leave a huge stack in his bag so when he got home he'd find them. Do those girls even exist?

hufflepuffinweed35 karma

I think most of them are porn stars. But they are not existing escorts in Las Vegas.

indieshometownhifi5 karma

And you got downvoted for answering my question.. Nice!

hufflepuffinweed12 karma

Haha! Well hopefully I can prevent at least one disappointed man when he opens his hotel room door.

musicqt34 karma

What is the weirdest request you have got from someone before?

hufflepuffinweed94 karma

One time this guy who was about 40 offered me money to come to his hotel room so that he could dry hump me Bad Teacher style. OP did not deliver.

EnderFenrir30 karma

I knew a girl that would have a guy come in once a week and pay her $200 to piss in a dixie cup. She never knew exactly what he did with it, he would just leave with it.

hufflepuffinweed49 karma

HAHA! I fucking believe it. When I was dispatching escorts a girl came back from a call where some guy paid her to walk on his chest in cleats. He then put the cleats back in the box and told her he was giving his niece that set of cleats for Christmas. Still gives me the heebie jeebies.

BrownMofo4 karma

I lost it it PCP and how they were showing the video of him in the roof smoking while reading the list.

hufflepuffinweed7 karma

By far one of the best episodes ever. That one and bieberhole69.

UtterlyDisposable27 karma

Eight hundred dollars a month to pee in a cup? I don't care what you do with it, sign me up.

hufflepuffinweed24 karma

Fuck yeah! I have to pee right now! But the whole getting out of bed thing.... and I don't have a Dixie cup.

EnderFenrir9 karma

Hell ya, thats what I said.

hufflepuffinweed13 karma

Does the Fenrir in your name have anything to do with Norse mythology? I was going to name my husky Fenrir.

EnderFenrir9 karma

It totally is, and that would be an awesome name for a husky.

hufflepuffinweed24 karma

I went with Ghost after Jon Snow's direwolf. He's all white so it's perfect.

Poopstock16 karma

He was performing research for his thesis on substance abuse among adult entertainment workers.

hufflepuffinweed22 karma

"Every employee has tested positive for: marijuana, mdma, pcp, Adderall, Dayquil, Nyquil--why would anyone take both? Nitrous oxide, Cialis and birth control. Thanks for bringing that up buddy, can't have kids! Don't need birth control!"


Love the Workaholics reference!

hufflepuffinweed4 karma

Best show ever! I saw Blake when I was at the Fantasy Factory but didn't talk to him. I would have probably cried. And I didn't want to be known forever as the crying girl.

yayotacos24 karma


hufflepuffinweed44 karma

I wake up around 1 or 2, eat food, watch Netflix, go to class and then go to work. I'm a pretty big homebody.

mightyjoejung9 karma

What classes do you take?

ChairmanMeow2321 karma

Advanced organic chemistry

hufflepuffinweed44 karma

I took chemistry in high school... It was the only class I ever got a C in. I still don't even know what the fuck a mole is. Fuck chemistry.

bigtcm62 karma

Former chemistry teacher here! I'm six and half feet tall and weigh a shade over 200 lbs (will be relevant in a second).

So you know how some atoms are bigger than others? Hydrogen has only one proton, so we'll say it has a mass of 1. Oxygen has 8 protons and (usually) 8 neutrons, so we'll say it has a mass of 16. If we decide to weigh out 500 masses of each atom, we'll have 500 hydrogen atoms, but we'll only have ~31 (500/16) atoms of oxygen.

Similarly, if we decided to weigh out 500 lbs of bigtcm - you'll have two and a half bigtcm's while we may have 3 - 4 hufflepuffinweed's.

Chemical reactions, (and also most relationships between people!) deal in numbers, not weight or mass: 2 H2 + 1 O2 --> 2 H2O. In this case we have 4 hydrogen atoms mixing with 2 oxygen atoms to create 2 molecules of water. Similarly, we say oh I hooked up with 1 girl last night, or I hooked up with 3 girls at a party! We never measure them in terms of mass.

If I define a threesome as 2 girls and 1 guy, how many girls would I need to give threesomes to 3 of my guy friends? (The answer is 2x3 = 6). If I had a dozen guys, I'd need two dozen girls. If I had 100 guys, I'd need 200 girls. I can't relate it to mass, because it doesn't make sense. 200 lbs of girls will not necessarily go with 100 lb of guy. I need to count numbers of people here rather than just mass.

So skipping all the details, we'll just say that several famous historical chemists worked out that if you measure out a substance's mass in grams, you'll have this whacky number (6.022 x 1023) atoms. 1 gram of hydrogen = 6.022 x 1023 atoms of hydrogen. 16 grams of oxygen = 6.022 x 1023 atoms of hydrogen. This whacky number is a mole.

And that's pretty much what a mole is. In the previous example of people, we used a funny word (a dozen) to describe a number (12). A mole is just a funny word that describes an obscenely large number (of atoms...usually).

Now lets revist that chemistry example. 2 H2 + 1 O2 --> 2 H2O

It doesn't make sense to say I'm going to mix 4 grams of hydrogen with 2 grams of oxygen, remember we're dealing with numbers of atoms here, not just mass. We can say we want to mix 4 dozen hydrogen atoms with 1 dozen oxygen atoms. Similarly, we can also say we want to mix 4 moles of hydrogen with 1 mole of oxygen.

I hope this unnecessary and unsolicited chemistry lesson made some sense. Any questions?

A_K1TTEN89 karma

*raises hand*

When do we start making meth?

hufflepuffinweed54 karma

We have to cook, Jesse!

ben8762 karma

is this a boner joke?

ChairmanMeow233 karma

It's a joke that strippers in Las Vegas probably aren't studying anything significant. Possible though, op should answer to find out.

hufflepuffinweed9 karma

International Languages. I used to be an archaeology major, though. Greco-Roman.

hufflepuffinweed15 karma

Right now I'm taking English, Russian and philosophy.

hufflepuffinweed6 karma

English, Russian and philosophy.

AlanBergsVW5 karma

Круто, удачи вам!

hufflepuffinweed15 karma

I don't have any Cyrillic on this shitty laptop but thank you!!

surfenusaxd19 karma

How do you feel a move to dollar coins instead of dollar bills would affect the stripping industry?

hufflepuffinweed47 karma

I would be very unhappy if someone threw a coin at me on stage.

left4alive48 karma

That's what we throw at strippers in Canada. It's way more fun.

hufflepuffinweed36 karma

Aaaaaand that's why I've only had sex with one Canadian.

Trying2Lose19 karma

Do you ever get turned on at all by your job? I know most guys are probably older overweight gentlemen but do you ever get the occasional young hot bachelor... ?

hufflepuffinweed46 karma

There are some pretty hot guys that come in. I accidentally made out with one before. I blame it on the a a a a alcohol

kissmymsmc18 karma

Prior to Vegas, did you have any experience in the sex industry?

hufflepuffinweed22 karma

I did not!... unless Hooters counts. I worked there for about three years.

LittleFaceAcneDick8 karma

How was the money and environment there?

hufflepuffinweed21 karma

It was cool. It was right on the beach in Maryland so we'd just walk over and swim after shifts. Girls are fucking assholes sometimes but we all already knew that.

That_Unknown_Guy8 karma

Girls are fucking assholes sometimes but we all already knew that.

Yep. Can confirm. Some girls are into pegging.

hufflepuffinweed3 karma

Can confirm. Am into pegging.

KefkasGhost17 karma

How do you handle it if a guy cums in his pants during a lapdance?

hufflepuffinweed64 karma

I've only felt it happen once and I doused myself in antibacterial liquid after. Thanks for the repressed memories though, buddy.

Mesoposty11 karma

I'm betting it's happened more than once, I had friends that worked in the strip clubs in SF, they said dudes come in there pants all the time, said you could see it in there eyes and how all the sudden they where ready to split

hufflepuffinweed12 karma

HAHA in their eyes! It probably has happened more than once but that's the only time my leg has come in contact with the actual wet spot. Man, even talking about it UGH.

shakeitmackten17 karma

How much of the movie strippers life is it reality? Drugs/sex/single mothers etc...

hufflepuffinweed29 karma

Eh, it definitely plays it up quite a bit. Depending on which club you work, you might find a higher percentage of single mothers, drugs, sex. The more popular and higher class clubs I'd say have less single mothers, more drugs. The smaller clubs usually have more single mothers, less drugs, less partying because they're actually working to pay for their child. At least this has been my experience so far.

HonestCupcake15 karma

What has been your favorite experience in your career so far? Least favorite?

hufflepuffinweed44 karma

One night I met some child of a rich Canadian oil man and he had dad's credit card. He got really drunk and just sat in the champagne room and talked to me for about 4-5 hours. I made $2900 that night. I cried when I went home. Least favorite? One time this Indian guy walked into the champagne room and just pulled his dick out. I quickly left the champagne room.

Nathan_Flomm11 karma

Why'd you cry?

hufflepuffinweed50 karma

I have never made that much money in a day before. Probably even a week. I got home and laid in it.

SirPaulAnthony15 karma

Do you do any drugs with the clients? If so, which drugs?

hufflepuffinweed75 karma

One time I did cocaine out of another strippers buttcrack.

I have brought shame to my family.

SirPaulAnthony19 karma

That's some in the moment type of shit. (pun intended)

hufflepuffinweed16 karma


SirPaulAnthony12 karma


hufflepuffinweed55 karma


SirPaulAnthony10 karma

I want to get a dance from you if i ever make it to las Vegas :b

hufflepuffinweed21 karma

Fo sho! Just send me a message if you're ever in town!


How much would you say you make on a typical night?

hufflepuffinweed36 karma

It depends. I've made $2900 in a night before and I have also left -50. You have to pay a "house fee" to go to work which can range from like 20-80 a night. If you don't make it back, you're just out of luck. Normally between 400-600.

shakeitmackten14 karma

Do you have any regrets about your decision?

hufflepuffinweed21 karma

About stripping? No. I regret taking so long to come out of my shell at work. I used to super quiet and kind of hide in the corner, make about $100. I do usually end up regretting how much I drank at work the night before though.

TheAtomicPlayboy14 karma

Are you sure this isn't the plot to Showgirls?

hufflepuffinweed21 karma

Showgirls was actually filmed at one of the clubs that I regularly work at!

captain_obvious_scum12 karma

Happy Birthday. Do I win anything?

hufflepuffinweed25 karma

A lap dance.

TommyWalker12379 karma

What's unique about Vegas that wouldn't be normal/acceptable anywhere else?

hufflepuffinweed23 karma

You can smoke just about anywhere... You can walk down the strip and drink straight from a bottle of whiskey.

ulzimate7 karma

Smoke what?

hufflepuffinweed59 karma

Cigarettes. This ain't Colorado, man.

yayotacos9 karma


hufflepuffinweed21 karma

Languages! I've studied French, Spanish, Latin and ancient Greek so far (I used to be an archaeology major to explain the last two). I'm currently taking Russian.

ThatSteeve3 karma

Wow! Do you study for written translations primarily or are you learning/able to speak & understand the languages? Polyglots are awesome!

hufflepuffinweed6 karma

Both! Listening and reading come far easier than speaking but I think this might be pretty common. At least if you're learning in a classroom as opposed to immersion. My French grammar is pretty off when I speak since I haven't studied it since high school but I can understand most of it if I'm reading or listening to someone talk to me.

BloodQueef_McOral8 karma

Cheesy question, but do you have Daddy Issues? (i.e how is your relationship with your dad?)

hufflepuffinweed17 karma

No daddy issues here.. not unless they're super underlying. My dads a cool guy.

ben87615 karma

Tell your dad I said hi.

hufflepuffinweed19 karma

He said "whaddap dawg?"

hufflepuffinweed26 karma

Really. He says that. Complete with hand gestures and all.

nosaJ42976 karma

Tell your dad some random guy on the internet thinks he's awesome

hufflepuffinweed6 karma

I shall!

diomedesXIII8 karma

Who is the most famous person you've ever danced for and were they a good client?

hufflepuffinweed21 karma

Haha god its a stretch on "famous" but I met Johnny Richter from Kottonmouth Kings at the Rhino a few months ago. Very cool guy.

youropinionman4206 karma

Jesus I almost forgot all about that band

hufflepuffinweed54 karma

I think they did too.

HonestCupcake7 karma

Also, Happy Birthday! I hope it's a wonderful day for you!

A few more questions: -What got you into this profession in the first place? -What are your plans for after stripping? Do you plan to stop?


hufflepuffinweed12 karma

Thank you! I'm going to school right now for international languages. One day I hope I'm good enough to be a translator. I plan to stop some time before I start to stretch the age limit. I do not ever want to be THAT stripper. I started dancing for the money, before this I was broke and living in a one bedroom apartment with another girl. We shared a mattress.

Brickhaas7 karma

Do you know the stripper that danced for Chris Hardwock and his girlfriend? Her name was "Jedi"?

hufflepuffinweed6 karma

I don't think so but it's quite possible. Most strippers have different names at different clubs.

Brute11007 karma

What is the most you have made in a night or weekend.

Also what is the most memorable night you have had as a stripper.

hufflepuffinweed10 karma

One night I made $2900. Emphasis on one night, that's not very typical. Definitely the time I did cocaine out of stripper butt.

Brute11002 karma

Well I guess that would be memorable. What is the least favorite part of your job?

hufflepuffinweed10 karma

Bruises. You get a whole lot of them swinging around on the pole.

Brute11003 karma

Did you take classes to learn the pole or just learn by messing around?

hufflepuffinweed15 karma

Nope no classes. I think its the same for most strippers. You just get drunk, get up there and figure this shit out!

lightburst77 karma

How much touching do you allow? How much touching do you do? Or do you try to keep touching, on either direction, as minimal (if not zero)? How does this apply to strippers in general?

There is an idea about the porn industry that just because porn actresses have sex with strangers (for their job) means they'd be willing to give sex with anyone. Are you willing to strip for anyone (paid, of course. or maybe not?) outside the strip club? Minus the bachelor parties, and whatnot.

Note: I have not been on a strip club before. Nor have I met a stripper!

hufflepuffinweed6 karma

I try to keep touching down to a minimum. I don't ever touch personally, but many girls do. It's against the rules but some clubs are more lenient than others. If a guy is nice I might let him grab a boob once in awhile. I think I'm more on the prude side of dancing. As for bachelor parties? Maybe about half of strippers do them. I don't just because I've heard of girls getting themselves into dangerous situations.

Lolascanvas6 karma

Have you ever been to Batista's Hole in the Wall in Las Vegas?

hufflepuffinweed14 karma

Like, sergeant Batista? No I haven't. I don't get out much.

undertheolivebaum6 karma

how attractive does one have to be to be a stripper on a 10 point scale?

hufflepuffinweed15 karma

It depends club to club. I've seen one of the most horrific individuals during a day shift at one of the smaller clubs, I'm talking -0/10. Someone on the club's yelp review called her a bridge troll I think. Rhino really has the reputation for best looking girls.

Cottonismyrealname5 karma

Were you familiar with pole dancing before you became a dancer or did you learn it while you worked?

hufflepuffinweed9 karma

I was not. I also did not go on the pole for the first six months. Then one night at Hustler I got extremely belligerent and sucked it up and went on the pole. I've learned quickly though and most places you get to pick the music you dance to. It's pretty fun. Plus you make more money.

yayotacos5 karma


hufflepuffinweed12 karma

Weeeell it depends. I like to have sex but I don't sleep around. Lots of sex with one person.

ar18545 karma

How would you describe your ideal client?

hufflepuffinweed12 karma

Friendly, respectful and willing to drink. I luv me some whiskey.

fairlife5 karma

Just read the whole AMA and you are a very cool person! Wish you well in life! :)

My question would be, how cool is your boyfriend about your job? Did you tell him or did he know beforehand? And since there are a lot of strippers at Las Vegas, I assume, what's the general mentality regarding strippers like?

hufflepuffinweed8 karma

Thank you :) My boyfriend is very cool about it. I told him before we started dating and it didn't affect his opinion of me at all, which is great. He's very supportive. He understands that it's a job and I treat it as such. The general mentality of strippers is definitely the best in Las Vegas out of other places in the country besides maybe Portland. Most of the boys here grew up with lots of their classmates becoming strippers (some even their mothers) so its really not a big deal to them. Ive told boys before and have been met with a shrug or interested questions about the industry.

jejune_pontoon4 karma

Do you have a regular set of songs you dance to?


hufflepuffinweed10 karma

Pet- A Perfect Circle Get Some- Chevelle The Mission- Puscifer :D

new_zealand4 karma

Maynard fan? Well you're awesome

hufflepuffinweed6 karma

I love Maynard. I don't ever drink wine but if I ever get my hands on Maynard's wine.... I will drink it.

spyro_dragon4 karma

Tits or gtfo. Haha just kidding, thanks for stopping bye

hufflepuffinweed7 karma

SPYRO! My favorite game ever growing up. I have every single one.

Bat_turd4 karma

Pics? Has to be.

hufflepuffinweed11 karma

Confidential proof. I haven't told mom yet.

DJBJ2 karma

Are you ever going to tell her or is this one of those things you'll take to the grave?

hufflepuffinweed4 karma

Grave. Maybe. We'll see.

Agonist853 karma

What does she think you do?

hufflepuffinweed9 karma

I'm a cocktail waitress at Tryst. Plot twist I have never been to Tryst.

lilyaqha4 karma

How do you deal with dancing for a person that creeps you out? (If that has ever happened) (Hands you a sprite. )

hufflepuffinweed7 karma

Ahaha thank you! I tend to avoid the creepier ones if I can help it. There used to be this guy at Cheetahs that would come in and would sit in the corner and smell terrible. He would also wear basketball shorts with no underwear. If I saw him coming... I would run.

SpiffierGoose611 karma

saw him cumming


hufflepuffinweed9 karma

Should have seen that one com... cumming.

touchytouch003 karma

How did you start like If I wanted to be stripper what do I do? I see it's kind of freelancing so how does one makes his mind the first time to go pay a place and get naked?

hufflepuffinweed3 karma

Well, in Las Vegas you have to first get a sheriffs card as well as a business license. Then you decide which club you're interested in working at (it might be multiple places). They let you audition and if you're hired, you can go in whenever you feel like working.

Dabee6253 karma

This question concerns this more:

took a job off of Craigslist booking calls for an escort agency

Any interesting stories from that job?

hufflepuffinweed12 karma

This guy gave a girl $1700 to rub pie sensually all over his body. It was cream pie just to specify... I haven't looked at one the same since.

Dabee62514 karma

$1700? Wow, I've really been overpaying.

EDIT: Thanks for answering by the way!

hufflepuffinweed2 karma


Dyinu3 karma

Do you include working as a stripper in your resume?

hufflepuffinweed4 karma

I do not. Employers tend to stereotype instead of actually taking a look at your qualifications.

theBLboy3 karma

Now that you are in the industry, what's something that average people might not know?

hufflepuffinweed17 karma

We get incredibly beat up on those poles. Especially crawling around on your knees on stage.. Those girls might be smiling but they are not having fun.

gonresthird3 karma

Tell them to wear knee pads!

hufflepuffinweed3 karma

Only Jenna Jameson could get away with wearing knee pads when she was a stripper.

Matt__Larson2 karma

Have you ever been to Hawthorne, NV? It's a tiny town (about 1.5 x 1.5mi) a few hours north of Vegas

hufflepuffinweed2 karma

I have not! Is it cool?

Matt__Larson8 karma

It's just where my dad grew up! I've been there at least a dozen times (I'm 14 and live in South Carolina, and I know I probably shouldn't be on a stripper's AMA, but whatever). I just thought it would be cool if someone else had been there too because basically no one has. Thanks for responding!

hufflepuffinweed7 karma

You have great grammar for a 14 year old! Have a good weekend!

Nathan_Flomm2 karma

Do you think you will make more money as a college graduate than you do stripping? Do you have any intentions to continue stripping after you graduate?

hufflepuffinweed5 karma

Hopefully! I hear translators make pretty decent money. I may or may not continue to strip after I graduate.. It's great money and I'd like to save up a good chunk before I get too old. I also really, really want to start traveling to some awesome places. And that takes dough.

Admiral_Mason2 karma

Not really a fan of Elders Scrolls Online yet, doesn't seem to have too many similarities to the ES franchise. You going to play?

hufflepuffinweed4 karma

I haven't played it yet.. but it's on my list. I just started Half Life 2 so maybe after!

Armaan_v2 karma

How many seconds can your titties defy gravity?

hufflepuffinweed19 karma

Depends on the lunar cycle. Waxing Crescent? 10 seconds. Waning Gibbous? We're talking a full 30 seconds. At least.

upthepunx112 karma

i LOVE the peppermint hippo in vegas, i have been carried out of there on more than one occasion - what's your advice for getting the best experience out of a visit to any stip club?

hufflepuffinweed11 karma

I have also been carried out of there. Twins! Just be nice to the girl, and figure out what your boundaries are. Some girls will let you touch more than others. Also find a girl with nice boobies.

Sand_Coffin2 karma

What CSN campus are you at? I'm generally at Charleston, but this semester I'm doing the mandatory internship for my Associates, so I'm taking a break from generic classes. With any luck I'll be at UNLV in the Fall!

hufflepuffinweed3 karma

I'm at the Charleston campus three days a week and for some reason I also scheduled a class down at Henderson (I live in Centennial). I am not a smart man.

Sand_Coffin4 karma

You don't play any card games, do you? I play a card game called Magic: The Gathering (don't know if you're familiar), and a bunch of my friends do as well in the B building lobby (Charleston). I know there are a lot of Yu-Gi-Oh! players there as well. That's considered the best "nerd-out" area on campus that I've seen.

I haven't been able to make it for some time, but I was just curious.

Also, sucks to schedule a class at Henderson. I live on the Eastern edge of Summerlin (Alta and Durango), and I had to take a class at Cheyenne and that was a pain. Can't imagine having to deal with Henderson regularly.

hufflepuffinweed3 karma

I don't. I bought the Game of Thrones video game and its all pretty much played with cards. I almost threw it out the window. If I get over to UNLV you bet your ass I'm joining the quidditch team though.