Hey! I'm Torre and I'm a 20 year old quadriplegic male. Ask me anything!

No one else will ask it: How do you masturbate?

Honestly I just haven't in a longtime because I have no use in my hands. But if you have any ideas tell me!!!

Oh my god I'm so sorry.

It's something I have learned to get use to. It is really fun and frustrating trying to figure out how to do something in a completely different way.

I don't mean to pry even further, but my understanding is that usually men with complete spinal injuries can't ejaculate. So uh... can you?

I honestly don't know! Never tried :p

get a noose around your bell end and tug it with your teeth.

something like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YJzpaz0tmw

Interesting.... I think I might be safer if I get some assistance attempting this. Haha :p

Ask your mom for help?

Honestly, I'm the first to this?

Ewwwww. That is disgusting! I love my mom, but never!!!

They're going to tell you to ask your mom to masturbate you. Don't fall for it! It doesn't end well.

O god! That sounds like the worst possible thing that could ever happen!

Since you asked for "hands-off" ideas... on the "high price" end of things, there's the Venus, basically a reverse fucking machine.

There's also the Cobra Libre, which is much more portable/hidable/affordable.

I'm not too familiar with male toys, so I bet there's some more stuff out there.

Interesting very interesting... Thank you very much for the good ideas! :)

I distinctly remember an AMA done by another quadriplegic guy a long time ago, if I recall correctly, his answer to this question was that he rubbed himself against a pillow on the ground. Just saying.

Interesting! Man people are full of ideas I never thought of before! :)

I think i would just rub my dick against shit. Or rub shit on my dick.

Hmmm.. You might have something with the rubbing dick against stuff! But the shit on dick not sure if ill go for that one. Hahaha

I can't imagine the strain that one must feel having to deal with living in an entirely new way.

I want to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that I appreciate your continuation of your life. I have no idea how you reacted when the event occurred, but I know many people that would be willing to take their own lives if a thing of this nature happened.

Live on, my friend. You're young, and there is a whole world to experience.

Thank you kind stranger! :)

What was the hardest thing for you to get used to? Does it still bother?

BTW it's great to see such a big smile on your face! Stay strong :)

The hardest thing getting used to has to be unable to do simple tasks such as just brushing my teeth or eating. Or just going out and hanging with my friends. Thank you very much for your support! :)

Longtime lurker but your smile motivated me to create an account. This is my first post and it is dedicated to you. :)

Yay! This was first time creating an account too! Thank you so much for commenting! :)

How hard was it getting used to other people having to do all of your.. personal hygiene?

My wife lost use of one of her arms after a stroke and it was hard for her to aclimate.

It was very difficult at first.sometimes I enjoy it because I feel pampered when I really don't want to do anything. But it is very frustrating other times.

If you don't mind, what specifically happened in the accident?

Well I was with my 3best friends and my dad. Dad was driving and me and my friends were on an inner tube behind the boat. The tube flipped and one of my friends landed on my neck and the other on my back dislocating my neck. The X-ray of my spine was really cool! It was bent in ways it should not bend

Damn bro I'm sorry about that. Are you still 'friends' with your friend?

Most of my best friends stayed my best friends! I have made some really new good friends as well as losing old ones. But that's life if people can't accept a physical change in me then I don't need them in my life.

Much respect bro! You are very inspiring, keep it up and I wish you the best!

Thanks man! I hope you the best as well! :)

I am afraid of tubing now...

Don't be! It was a pure accident. If you live your life afraid you will never accomplish anything! I have been skydiving twice since I have been injured.

Since? O.o

Hell ya! I love it! I'm going to try and go every for the rest of my life! :)

Do you find it hard to run errands?

I actually find it very hard to run! Haha :p

Hahaha I love that you have such a great sense if humour!

Hahaha thanks! And omg are you British? Or just weird like me and spell things with ou? Like humour?

Haha nah I'm from new zealand :-)

Even better! Not in a creepy way or anything but I love English, Australian, Norwegian, New Zealand, basically foreign accents! And foreign people! :)

I mean no insensitivity, but these are questions I've always had in the back of my mind when meeting quadriplegic people but I feel are inappropriate to ask...

When you are out and about in public, what do you wish more people would help you with and what do you people try to help you with that you feel is just patronizing?

Do you resent the person responsible for the boating accident?

I don't feel as if people are patronizing me when they try and help they just don't understand. With me I kinda enjoy people asking questions such as this or when people try to help because I try and usually make them feel awkward and just try and lighten the mood and make them laugh.

Also my dad and best friend we're involved in the accident so no not at all I love those guys more then anything.

An awesome outlook, making people a little uncomfortable is hilarious (except on TV for some reason...). A followup:

What are your goals for the rest of your life, since a full-length triathlon and professional soccer player are probably out?

Those are actually two goals I really wanted to do! I'm currently going to school to get a mathematics degree and hopefully become a teacher one day. :)

As an engineering major who hated his ODE class, I respect the hell out of anyone pursuing a math degree on purpose. Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks bro! :) props on the engineering degree!! :)

Based on the kind of engineering TAs I had in college, I would gladly welcome anyone who can clearly speak proper English into the teaching faculty. Working limbs or not.

I understand your pain, my economics teacher last semester was of African decent and most of the class had to ask her to repeat herself numerous amounts of time. We all eventually gave up and taught ourselves.

I have a blind uncle who used to run a company specifically for paraplegics and quadriplegics. They did anything from doorbells, ramps, wheelchairs and their controls, and so on. Is there anything you can think of that maybe isn't available that would help your daily life?

Yes! I actually have been trying to figure out how to hook a dog leash up to my wheelchair for my service dog. I have been trying numerous ways to figure it out and it's just not working great. Also I can't figure how to go on a beach easily with my wheelchair wheels

http://www.amazon.com/Petego-Walky-Hands-Free-Bicycle-Leash/dp/B003OYIAW4 Something like this maybe?

Omg! I love you! This is a genius idea! This is exactly what I have been looking for! :)

I don't know where you live but there are several beaches in New Jersey that supply beach wheelchairs for free, and also several beaches that have a board walk down to a flat wooden deck so that w/c users can get out on the beach. I believe I have seen beaches like that in Delaware too. The chairs can be bought but like anything else that has to do with quadriplegia they are expensive.

Dude that's dope! That's a ways away from me I live in Washington. And our beaches are like rock and suck! But do you think they will have that stuff in Hawaii or California?

Are you gonna start playing murderball?

Yes! I have been talking to the local team! It looks really fun!

Murderball is badass

O fuck ya!! Some of the guys on the local team are crazy!

Great smile, Torre. No question for you, just wanted to give you a high five and thanks for coming by ;)

Thank you so much! high five bro!!

Hey man, I'm bored and just clicking through a SHIT load of posts tonight...

I just saw your AMA!

Let me say man, despite the accident, from way down here in Australia... i sincerely hope you have a long, fulfilling and successful life!

Seems a lot to promise someone I know, but weird to say, I clicked your photos and that smile on your face just kind of made me feel good... and I instantly knew, by the photos, you're a good guy who's taken a rough turn!

Dude, we'll likely never meet or cross paths... but sincerely, all the best man!

I really hope we cross paths sometime! Australia Is a place I've always wanted to visit so it is possible! And I'm really quite happy that I made you feel good! :) Thank you so much for your support! :)

Do you find it hard to be in / get into, a stable relationship because of your condition?

Why yes I do. It definitely has been much more difficult to try and approach random girls. But I have been able to have a few relationships.

have a few relationships.

God me beat. Damnit

I mean he is super cute and seems like and awesome dude, so he actually is very datable regardless of the spinal cord injury :P

Thank you very much! :) it's always nice to be called attractive by a stranger! ;p

Hey dude all you have to do is have confidence and be your self and the right people will come along in your life! :)

This might be a goofy question, but how do you stay in shape? Since exercise is mostly out of the question is it a change in diet, or just good metabolism?

I'm kinda lucky because I was a vegetarian for two years before I was hurt. But now I eat less than I did before and use my exercise bike at least 30min per day. And I try to take my service dog on walks everyday as well. :)

Quadriplegic or Paraplegic? Did you have someone help you set up those shots?

I might be wrong, just wondering.

Quadriplegic. I had my friend take the pictures on my iPad.

Do you believe is extra terrestrial life?

Yes! I believe we have been visited many times and that the government is trying to cover it up.

hey man nice to see youre positive. i cant imagine what life would be with this condition. are you depressed about it? how do you type btw? gl

I have an iPad. Also I have dragon naturally speaking for my laptop. :p

Sorry if it seems insensitive, but I'm genuinely curious. I assume you're using speech-to-text on the iPad, but how do you press the button to start dictating/post the message?

I'm actually able to manipulate my hands so I can use my thumbs to type on my iPad. :)

Do you enjoy pizza? And If so, what toppings do you like?

I love pizza! I actually just got done eating some! :) I usually like green peppers and onions as toppings. What about you?

I had pesto and duck on a pizza last night. Would not recommend.

That sounds...gross. Why would you try that??

How exactly does sex work?

I have yet to figure out how that will go down. If you know any hot chicks willing to try hit me up!! Haha :p

Dude, you could get mad pussy. Imean that, I'm not a liar nor am I empathetic. I wouldn't say I'm jealous of you but still, mad pussy.

Dude how???

While I am not the Genghis Khan of poon, I have discovered a few universal truths. Among many things, women love wounded birds. Vulnerable men are approachable and they pity them. But this alone is not enough.

I would tell you to milk your vulnerabilities, but you're in a wheelchair, that's done for you (not an insult). They've opened up their hearts to you before you make eye contact. And since you're a good looking dude with a bomb-ass name, they're gonna find you cute. NOW you need to be approachable and identifiable.

People don't approach the handicapped because they don't want to make them uncomfortable by appearing to give them unwarranted attention. You need to show that you are above your insecurities (as I assume you are, posting a picture of yourself in your chair on a popular website showing your face). I met a guy once who tricked out his chair with spinners and LED underglow lights, it was awesome. Don't try to blend in and act normal, because with all due respect, you aren't. Get yourself out there and disarm people with your charm. Get on the dance floor and bust a wheelie and wave around some glowsticks.

Now that you are vulnerable, cute and approachable, you need to be sexy. This one is easy at this point. Turn the conversation towards sexuality using humor. "I can't feel it, but i'm 75% sure you're giving me wood." Definitely somehow work it into conversation that you CAN achieve an erection. The fast lane approach will work for you since you have them so off-guard that it won't seem creepy.

Poke fun at them, make fun of yourself. Use your disability but don't make it a major part of the conversation. "You are not your fucking wheelchair." -- Tyler Durden

Dude! You are king! I'm definitely gonna take this advice to heart! And I'm gonna use it!

Hey, med student here. We had a paraplegic who volunteered to answer some questions for my class. This is what he told us and was confirmed by a spinal cord injury physical medicine and rehabilitation doctor:

Him and his girlfriend still have sex but she usually does most of the work. He needed to use Viagra to get an erection.

Also not certain what sort of sensory losses you have, but he lost feeling about half way down his abdomen. So sex became more of a mental pleasure than a pleasurable feeling. Although, in some people with sensory lose the region between feeling and not feeling can actually become a pleasure zone.

Not sure how applicable this is to you, but hopefully some of it is helpful. If you have any more questions I highly i courage you to talk to your PM and R doc. Although it may seem embarrassing, they probably have already heard the question from someone else.

I do feel awkward talking to doctors about my situation. I know they are there to help, but it just seems so awkward. Also about my situation. I have sensation in all my body. But I am unable to pass the needle prick thing from my chest and below. And thank you for the tips!!

You're pretty cute! I'm sure it won't be hard to find a girl to help you figure it out haha

Thank you! I really hope I do! :)

Do you have any sensation down there? Can you still get it up?

I do actually! I am unable to watch porn and have it go up, but it do get hard randomly.

I've been friends with quite a few para- and quadriplegics, and I've found they tend to have a bit of a dark sense of humor about it. I'm really hoping you can laugh with me on this one, because I don't want to go to hell alone.

Do you like LMFAO? Sorry for Party Rocking is one of my favorite songs, and I've had the phrase "sorry for hardly walking" in my head for months now. I know this could totally work and I just threw together a few lyrics.

I be up in the party, layin on my back all prone,

I got a baggy for my potty and an IV of patron

Got them hotties gettin naughty with my oral mastery

Wish the dudes in the club would quit stepping over me

I wish you well man. I read some of your answers and it looks like you can laugh, and I'm so happy for that. I'm with the comedians on this one - laughing about something may not make it go away, but it puts it on your own terms.

Omfg!! Hahaha I'm dying over here!! :p that is amazing!! Don't worry we all are going to he'll in or own ways and ill be there right next to you brother! :)

How are you typing this?

I have figured out a way to be able I use my iPad so I can type. :)

I have an uncle whos quadriplegic and although it took him a long time he is now living an essentially normal life with two (adopted) kids and a wife but even now ( almost 40 years later) he's still constantly looking at different clinics and surgeries that will help him, do you think you will retain that same hope? Also if they found a way to replace your legs with cyborg legs, would you do it?

Yes! I would try anything to be able to walk again! Especially cyborg legs! Dude that would be fucking awesome! I would try and become like a superhero with those things!:p

Do you look up to fellow quads like Christopher Reeve? If not, who are your role models?

I look up to him as an actor when he played superman, but i do not have any in wheelchairs. My main idols are Edwin van der sar, Eric Clapton, flea, robin van Persie, and batman

A Manchester United fan eh?

Glory glory man united! My dream is to go to old trafford to watch them play! :)

I'm a Chelsea fan haha so I hate you a little bit ;) Van der Saar was a world class keeper, as for RVP, well I'll keep my opinion of him to myself. The way you're living your life is very inspirational, I hope you get to go to Old Trafford to see them play.

I'm sorry for you man. But I just gotta say we are number 1 :p you have some great players in hazard, David Luiz, and Oscar!

O and Torres... Had to go there! :o Thank you very much for the compliments and I hope you have a good life as well! :)

Are you planning on a future career? Are you in training for anything? (Sorry if its a stupid question, I have no clue.)

No there are no stupid questions! I currently am pursuing a mathematics degree at hope to one day become a middle school math teacher. :)

I know I should know this, but what differs between a parapalegic and a quadriplegic?

Actually I didn't know this either A quad is someone who is impaired in all 4 limbs while a para is 2 limbs

Is it possible to have opposite paralyzed limbs on each side? Left leg and right arm? Or vice versa?

Maybe! I think that would suck! Also they would have a really funny limp!

You sound as though youre taking this all in stride and doing well. Bravo!

I am curious, how are you responding on this AMA?

Thank you so much! :) I always appreciate people telling me that! I'm actually able to kinda manipulate my thumbs so I am able to type using my iPad. :)

Superman or Batman?

Batman all the way!!!

I would just like to say that you have a really badass wheeliedop.

Sorry but what is a wheeliedop?

Could you do me a favor, it's s little bizarre so bare with me. Step 1. Go to faith healing church. step 2. Near the end of the sermon when the faith healing begins, approach and wait in the line. Step 3. When he puts his/her hand on your head please yell "jesus give me strength" step 4.(A) If possible just after he releases you I need you to jiggle slightly and look bewildered and roll away step 4. (B) if possible after he releases you if your able kinda slouch over and look yell "did it work?"

Dude if I could find one of these churches I would totally do this and record me doing it! Are these places common?? :o

Torre,

You write that you're a quad but you're holding a notepad in your proof picture. How are your hands disabled?

In my situation I have some use of my arms. I have no use of motor function in my hands, and I'm unable to use my triceps as well.

Hey, occupational therapist here. I'm guessing about C6-7? How are you doing in therapy, or are you on a break right now?

I'm a c6 incomplete. I'm taking a break from therapy right now. But going to start again learning how to transfer into a transfer seat for my van.

How do you type with boxing gloves on your hands?

Boxing gloves? Sir I'm a cripple not a boxing cripple! :p haha

Do you have limited control of your arms or did someone help you pose for those pics?

I have control of my arms except in my triceps and I have no motor control in my hands.

cats or dogs?

Dogs all the way! In fact I have a service dog! :)

I don't have a question but think you're amazing. Good for you!

O thank you!! :) bless your soul! :)

Wanna get high?

Of course!!! Who doesn't??

Saw the picture in the background. So my question is, Do you have any plans to see the new Superman movie?

O hell ya! I'm planning on going tonight!! I'm stoked!

Thanks so much for your post. My older brother was born with cerebral palsy, we are adults now, but I have always wondered/thought that it might be a good thing for him emotionally that he does not know what walking is like. Are you glad that you have the memories of walking or do you feel like it makes it more difficult to accept your present circumstances?

I'm not gonna lie, I miss walking every day. But I have come to accept the way life is now and almost think that fate or god put this upon me to test my strength. So that helps me go through life.

"this was no boating accident."

sorry, i couldn't help myself...;)

Hahahaha hahahaha :p

Was it hard to adjust to when you first had the accident? What were the hardest aspects that you had to come to terms with? Thanks man, you're kind of awesome

O heavens yes! I mean I can't do normal tasks such as get myself dressed or drive or even such mundane tasks as walk to the toilet or shower myself. The hardest part was that i had to accept my life is like this now. I will always need some help from people no matter any task I'm doing.

My uncle is also a quadriplegic and I run him through a bunch of physical therapy machines on mon wed and fri (Leg bike, arm bike, and a standing frame). Are you doing anything to keep your body active in hopes that one day there is some medical breakthrough that will allow atleast someuse of the arms or legs?

I have a arm bike in which I use for at least half an hour every day. I also am currently training my puppy to become a service dog. And for my legs I have range of motion done every day once in the morning and once at night. I would love for that procedure to exist someday! :)

I see that you're holding up a sign for your verification. How do you go about performing tasks like this? Do you have movement in your elbows only? And you look happy, so I'm happy, keep on keepin on, you.

I actually have function in my arms just no fine motor function in my hands or the use of my triceps. And I have caregivers and a service dog to help aid me in tasks :)

What's your mom doing later?

Probably not having as much fun as me and your mom will later!

whats your favorite food?

I would have to say my grandmas pesto gnocchi. She is full blood Italian and makes the best everything!

Hey OP, Just wanted to say thanks for doing this AMA. Out of curiosity, can you talk and how do you type?

I can do both! I speak normally! And I have figured how to manipulate my hands so I can type on my iPad!

Anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like Will Wheaton? I'll admit I have not read thru all the questions here, but do you have a GF? Prospects?

No I have never been told that! But thank you! I love that guy! And naw not right now. I'm just kinda taking life as it comes. If a girl comes around I would love it but right now I'm doing pretty good. :)

Hey Torre, no questions, just dropped by to congratulate you on your attitude. You're awesome and you remind me a lot of my late uncle, who was also a quad and had a fantastically positive attitude too. High five dude.

Thanks man! high five :p I hope you have a good day!

I think the obvious question is how are you writing this?

I'm using my iPad! Touch screen things have helped me do so much!

When I walk past you in superstore should I look at you then back at my eye level at stuff or do something different? Im awkward when it comes to that...

Good question! Most people especially in public venues do not really know how to act in that situation. Just go with what feels natural. :)

Man, I'm 20 also and I couldn't imagine having to do the things that I do in life without use in my limbs. I just want to say good for you! Glad you're so positive. Maybe in addition to teaching you could be a motivational speaker?!

It's definitely tough! I never imagined having this happen. You just have to make the best out of any situation! Being a motivational speaker could be really fun! I've met a few people who talked to me and I was like dang. My life is good compared to yours!

Is there any chance of recovery (aside from potential new medical breakthroughs)?

Also, just curious, how are you holding that sign?

Sadly no. Besides the rare miracle or that breakthrough in science. Let's hope! :) I'm able to use my arms kinda just no motor function in my hands or the have my triceps.

No question; just wanted to say you're a great dude

Thanks bro! :)

Your humor and good nature about your situation and about life will bring your greater happiness than many will ever know. Thank you for being awesome.

It freaked me out when you said you were injured tubing! We go out all the time, and we get absolutely brutal to each other. It was quite eye-opening.

Thank you! My main thing to say is just wear your life jackets and always be safe as one can while still having tons of fun. Because my life jacket saved my life. :)

Don't you mean paraplegic?

No. I'm actually a quad. I have a c5-c7 fusion in my neck and I am impaired in all 4 of my limbs

Complete or incomplete? I'm a c5-7 fusion too :) [inc for me]

I think I'm incomplete.

How badly do you miss playing soccer?

I miss it ssoo much!! It was my life. I was going to play college ball. I have season tickets to the sounders so that helps keep my passion strong! :)