And I'm here right now.

Me in front of the fleshlight display. My parents would be so proud.

Edit: trying very hard to answer all of your questions! Just got off work and can dedicate a lil' more time.

Edit 2: I got gold. What do I do?!! I'm so excited!!!

Edit again: damn, y'all this went cray! I took a nap and now I'm back up to answer your perverted questions!

Comments: 2862 • Responses: 102  • Date: 

huzzaah858 karma

Any awkward stories with someone you know coming in?

cveraymond1815 karma

Not yet. I try to make things as non-awkward as possible. I mean, it's just titties, and dildos, and butt plugs. It's life. People need a sexual outlet, I don't judge.

altbekannt2386 karma

so deep

edit: daaaaym! somebody just popped my reddit gold cherry! cheers, brah!

we are celebrating here, and my girlfriend just quoted metro man "and i love YOU, random citizen"

my room mate added: "from zero to hero - over night!"

as you see, we are all very excited here ;)

cveraymond1515 karma

Oh my god. I am so honored. Really, I am.

drsingerx493 karma

It's just titties, and dildos, and butt plugs.

Not something I expected to read today.

cveraymond799 karma

I didn't expect to sell the most petite man I've ever seen an anus extending butt plug kit. It's a day of firsts!!

Ollie888318 karma

If I may, what is difference between a butt plug and an anus extending butt plug?

cveraymond638 karma

The anus extending butt plugs come in a series of three or four plugs that get bigger gradually as you become more butt plug experienced.

mynameisalso790 karma

How many xp do you need to make it to the next level?

cveraymond709 karma

You have to be able to envelop the great American challenge.

c0ur4ge174 karma

I'm glad you know what this item is. A friend of mine overheard a man talking about the G.A.C in a adult shop while buying a water pipe like it was a fucking walk in the park. Said he could handle it no problem now days.

When someone finally explained what the Great American Challenge really was, I nearly passed out.

cveraymond453 karma

Oh god. He must poop pancakes.

brian_diener380 karma


cveraymond446 karma

One time I was helping my friend move across the state and we put a suction cup giant dildo on the dashboard for the whole ride. We got some awesome looks from other motorists.

Singulaire191 karma

I mean, it's just titties, and dildos, and butt plugs. It's life. People need a sexual outlet


plugs... outlet

Miss, that was pretty funny.

cveraymond136 karma

Thanks :) didn't even mean to.

Singulaire53 karma

I also just read your comment about "seedy underbelly". You've got talent, kiddo, don't let it go to waste.

cveraymond169 karma

Never. I've known that its my duty to share my sexual puns with the world since I was a wee lass.

Albegro809 karma

Is there sex in the champaine room?

cveraymond1161 karma

Oh god yes.

Albegro544 karma

Chris Rock lied to us all.

cveraymond1518 karma

No longer allow Chris Rock to be your moral compass, my friend.

mrshosey653 karma

Do you guys sell the great American challenge?

cveraymond748 karma

We do! It's terrifying!

mrshosey353 karma

anyone buy it who seemed to have the intent on using it? or is it mostly a gag gift? and how much does that thing cost?

cveraymond617 karma

I'm pretty sure it's just a gag. I couldn't image someone wanting to insert that. It's 75 big bucks, my Internet friend.

YouSirCanFuckOff93 karma

I'm here to regretfully report I just looked up the Great American Challenge and found amateur material of female accommodation in both orifices, and male accommodation. Image searching is too easy and I may be scarred for life.

cveraymond178 karma

Oh god. Will not look, will not look. Fuck. I looked. I regret it.

DinoTestes649 karma

Who was the single creepiest customer you've had?

cveraymond1546 karma

The guy that routinely pisses in the theatre and jizz booths. Fuck that guy. Really. Someone fuck him so he can stop coming here.

DinoTestes1004 karma


cveraymond1883 karma

C'mon guy. With the advent of the Internet, anyone can get laid. There are sexy singles in your area!!

Boxthemuppet602 karma

Favorite pizza topping and do you sell the fleshlight shaped like a foot?

Edit: Auto correct is a motherfucker.

cveraymond823 karma

JalapeƱos and pineapple. Please tell me that exists.

Boxthemuppet597 karma

It exists. It's disturbing. Looks like someone stepped on a broken bottle on the beach. Enjoy:

cveraymond495 karma

Oh god. We don't have it, sadly. I want to check it out.

Boxthemuppet289 karma

Do you have the tentacle dildo/vibrator? It's even creepier.

cveraymond346 karma

Oh boy. That's reallll weird. We don't have that one.

Boxthemuppet362 karma

Tell your boss people have been asking for them. Lol.

cveraymond310 karma

Hahah, that'd be great. I need to see one irl.

Ghinsu6 karma

I thought i was the only one! just add some bacon and you've got a nice pizza pie!!

cveraymond11 karma

Such a good combo. I don't eat bacon though. I thought I was the only one too!

Golden161595 karma

Did any dildo sword fights occur?

cveraymond802 karma

Hahah, way less than should be happening. I work alone so I'd have to find a willing customer!

ezekiel2517_1558 karma

STORY TIME!!!! My ma used to sell dildos via pure romance, and my brother and I would wash them and label them after her showings (think Tupperware but dildos) and she had two footling double sided dildos one purple and one black. Well me and my brother would get into sword fights with them and they fucking hurt... Edit. Whelp my highest comment is about my Ma selling dildos

cveraymond555 karma

We have those! I often fantasize about whipping people with them.

ezekiel2517_348 karma

Well don't do it to your very conservative 65 year old grandfather! He won't be pleased :(

cveraymond245 karma

Lucky (rather, unlucky) for me I don't have grandfathers!

stefonio531 karma

How do you feel when a creepy guy walks in and looks you over?

cveraymond1398 karma

A little shafted if he doesn't put a five in my bra.

kaljaen787 karma

heh. shafted.

cveraymond633 karma

Glad someone got that!

SammyD63328 karma

Hold up, is this allowed? BRB going to the sex shop real quick

cveraymond702 karma

I'd allow it. Money is money. As long as I can keep my clothes on.

KnavishSprite515 karma

Roughly how many times a day do you get hit on by customers?

cveraymond1073 karma

Update: 3 younger men just called me a "beautiful blond" and asked what time I was going on stage. Oh man.

cveraymond635 karma

Honestly, not that often. Older gentlemen are most guilty of it. A lot of times I think the fellas are a bit ashamed/intimidated.

Mr_s3rius379 karma

Are there actually non good-looking people among your store's employees or is good looks a pre-requisite to work there (not counting the strippers / dancers themselves)?

cveraymond668 karma

I overheard my manager ask the girl that got me the job whether I was cute or not, so, yes. There is definitely a lean towards the conventionally attractive during the hiring process. The drink waitresses have to fit this guideline as well.

koshthethird274 karma

Doesn't that violate some sort of law?

cveraymond828 karma


TerminalVector432 karma

Actually I don't think so. As long as they don't discriminate against prospective employees because of race, color, sex, religion, creed, national origin, orientation etc. discrimination against the unattractive is completely legal.

cveraymond450 karma

So now you know. I guess being conventionally attractive is half the battle.

sifulicious366 karma

So if I thought you were hot and I was a customer (assuming most male customers do), what's a good receptive way to hit on you without coming off as creepy or like every other guy?

cveraymond822 karma

Well, try your best to not objectify me or be creepy in general. If you thought I was attractive, you could tell me I was pretty or pick out a feature that you find aesthetically pleasing (let's keep it pg friendly) and compliment me on it. Ask me about my job maybe, if I like it. Avoid pick up lines. Make bad jokes. I like bad jokes.

benkordus612 karma

I'd never piss in your jizz booth. wink

cveraymond499 karma

I'd never piss in your jizz booth ;)

benkordus280 karma

Total connection. Let's go get a drink and afterwards play some mario 64.

cveraymond316 karma

You read me like a book.

sifulicious258 karma

You are awesome. Enough said.

cveraymond267 karma

Thanks :)

Janube36 karma

Avoid pick up lines. Make bad jokes. I like bad jokes.

What about bad pickup lines?

cveraymond89 karma

Depends on the delivery. I may or may not have made out with a man in a bar closet after he used a funny bad pick up like on me.

doodlyoodly335 karma

if you had said you were a male cashier i wonder how many clicks you'da got.

i was a male cashier for a sex shop next door to a fully nude sex club. ask me anything.

no i really was. goddammit why doesn't anybody care.

cveraymond266 karma

I care. Tell me a story! Please?

cveraymond249 karma

Also, I think it's the dynamic between female sex shop employees and the mainly male clientele.

brandonderrick301 karma

What is the markup on most of the stuff you sale? Do you get commission? Favorite product

cveraymond716 karma

Pretty high markup. I get a bonus if I sell a certain amount during my shift. My favorite product is probably this weird delicious smelling pheromone spray stuff. I have no idea if it attracts men but it smells like yum.

MadTwit654 karma

That means it is working

TenuredOracle190 karma

That means it is working

Now I want to know what it's called.

complex_reduction1136 karma


cveraymond452 karma

Haha. I can't even.

TerminalVector23 karma

Isn't that stuff meant for men to wear? I mean if you think it smells good doesn't that mean its working?

cveraymond51 karma

It's meant for ladies. To attract men, I suppose. I don't really care who it's intended for, it smells nice.

TerminalVector27 karma

I've seen the same thing marketed for men, and I always assumed it was BS.

cveraymond43 karma

It totally is.

andReslic295 karma

How much and what have you sold today?

cveraymond589 karma

Lots of DVDs. So weird. Porn is fo' free folks. Way more shemale flicks than one would think. Sold a lot of bachelorette items (penis shaped things). Sold a good grand or so this shift. That's not indicative of most shifts though.

A_frisky_Dingo274 karma

I find it rather unnerving when me and my S.O. Visit these shops and the girls ((Who like you are Unbelivable attractive)) make off hand comennt's like: "ooooh I like this one." Or "This is my favorite. Good choice." Is this done on purpose? Just to make the situation less awkward? Also, have you ever had someone ask you for reccomendations on your products?

cveraymond500 karma

Honestly, I just ring people's shit up and try to be pleasant but not make much eye contact. Shit is awkward enough without me telling customers which products i may or may not have had in my orifices. I had a guy get really frustrated with me because I couldn't tell him with production company had the most tastefully done movies. Men always ask me which vibrator is my favorite but I think that's out of perviness.

Jakelers231 karma

Well, what is your favorite vibrator?

cveraymond483 karma

The we-vibe II. It's kind of fantastic.

SirNoitall171 karma

FINALLY I meet someone who admits they use it!

I see advertisements for this god damn thing in the newspaper all the time and I think I know how it works, but I don't know for sure.

I assume one end is in your nasty and the other end is on the clitoris, right?

cveraymond326 karma

That is correct. Vibration in all the intended areas. Next best thing to a real life penis. Actually, better than some.

MrKleft267 karma

Has anyone relatively famous come into the club?

cveraymond531 karma

We've had some porn actresses. Peter Pablo came in but we refused him entrance because he was not within our dress code, haha. Manager caught wind of that and flagged him down to get him to come back in because she knew he would make it rain.

thegreatgazoo198 karma

You have a dress code?

cveraymond446 karma

Dress pants/skirt, white button up top, and a tie. I wear a bow tie.

clwestbr240 karma

What are the weirdest things you sell?

As a worker in a strip club how seedy are the guys you get?

cveraymond418 karma

We sell this shit that is advertised as nail polish remover but apparently people huff it to intensify orgasms. Also, our fetish masks are terrifying. There are some pretty sketch patrons. The often are very drunk or smell terribly of body odor. I feel bad for the girls that have to dance all up on that.

clwestbr157 karma

That...that sounds just awful. Fetish masks freak me out, that's legitimately strange.

Does the nail polish stuff actually work? How in gods name would that be discovered?

cveraymond290 karma

People buy it in droves. And when I say people I mean men. I guess it works? I've never used it but I did open a bottle to used to fix my nail polish. I'm proud to report that it works in that way. It's been explained to me as a lesser form of chloroform.

clwestbr235 karma

Well that's even creepier! Its selling date-rape!

cveraymond423 karma

Christfuck! I didn't even think about that!

AlienVersusRedditor225 karma

  • 1) What's the weirdest thing someone ever asked for?
  • 2) Who's the creepiest customer you've ever encountered?
  • 3) Has an attractive customer ever come on to you?
  • 4) Have you ever had to kick someone out for whacking off? If so, how'd that turn out?

cveraymond750 karma

1) animal blowup dolls. So weird. Turns put we have a sheep... 2) definitely the guy that posses in the jizz booths. 3) yes, they have. 4) it went okay.

koryna993216 karma


cveraymond649 karma

Thank your mother for the bat idea. I guess I'll be "beating off the men" whomp whomp. I get between 25 and 50 percent off goodies.

SkyeHawc181 karma

How often do you see younger guys come in? Is it usually more middle aged men?

cveraymond251 karma

The younger men usually frequent the club whereas I get a good mix of couples, middle aged and older men in the shop.

drewdoe176 karma


cveraymond339 karma

Probably when the guy that looked like a busted ass Henry Rollins asked if he could used the display fleshlight. Or when someone pissed in the trash can of one of the jizz booths and I conned the doorman into cleaning it for me.

insamination168 karma

Jizz booth?

cveraymond350 karma

Yep. Little rooms that you can go into and "preview" movies. Complete with tissues and trash cans.

insamination163 karma

Well, TIL I guess. That is a way better name. Thank you for improving my vocabulary!

cveraymond134 karma


cveraymond322 karma

They're technically called peep rooms. I like my name better.

CaptainColeslaw170 karma

Favorite television series?

cveraymond391 karma

Gilmore Girls.

terranotfirma142 karma

OMG me too! I could watch it endlessly.

cveraymond559 karma

I hope you're a man and I hope you're not kidding and I hope we can have Gilmore Girls slumber parties.

DavidGoesBananas147 karma

Is there some sort of set routine for you if some customer tries to grab or fondle you? Is there like some sort of safe room?

cveraymond220 karma

There really isn't. I guess just call for the doorman. Fortunately that has not happened since I've been here.

A_frisky_Dingo105 karma

Do you have a lot of problems at your job with customers getting unruly with you or the dancers????

cveraymond168 karma

Not regularly but it definitely happens. That why we have our strong doormen.

A_frisky_Dingo114 karma

I guess the line between cashier/entertainer is completely lost on some men.

cveraymond255 karma

Absolutely. Despite the fact that I am fully clothed and usually scowling.

manicallymaudlin229 karma

usually scowling

This usually comes with the whole "working retail" thing.

cveraymond208 karma

That's definitely what I have found. I'm definitely not unfriendly, I just have the face of a girl that does not fuck around with idiots.

PineappleSky42072 karma

This isn't a question. Just wanted to say that you are pretty and I wish I could have a job like yours.

cveraymond118 karma

That's very kind of you, thanks. I am woefully overqualified for this job so anyone can probably get it.

LzardE66 karma

Reread your last edit at least five times... All I can think of is what are you going to do with a pair of ass cheeks? That or a guy showing up with a gift, you unwrapping it and it's ass.....

cveraymond136 karma

Hahahaha. That reminds me of the scene in se7en but instead of a head it's butt cheeks.

JohnStamosBRAH40 karma

Spurs or Heat?

cveraymond654 karma

I don't really like baseball.

docfarnsworth22 karma

What do you tell your family and friends you do or are honest about it?

cveraymond44 karma

Completely honest about it. I don't have parents or a lot of family so that makes it easier. My friends come to visit me a lot, haha.

[deleted]16 karma


cveraymond26 karma

They do. Truly.

angry_baconbits12 karma

Hello there! Here's my question: pancakes or waffles?

cveraymond22 karma

Waffles. Allllll day long. Gotta have some crunch on them though.

angry_baconbits13 karma

I suddenly like you a little more! Waffles are 1000000 times better than pancakes!

cveraymond13 karma


lesbillionare8 karma

Not related: I really like the way you wear your hair, how does it look in the back? Do you put it up with a clip or is it like a ponytail/bun?

cveraymond10 karma

It is currently in a sock bun.

ObsoletePixel5 karma

First off, you're pretty. Just saying. Secondly, has your occupation affected your sexuality, or made you more promiscuous in general, or are you still a staunch traditionalist?

cveraymond13 karma

Well, thank you :) I hardly have ever called myself a staunch traditionalist, haha. I've never been real promiscuous and I still am not. I love sex though. I think this job, mostly, has opened my eyes to what's out there. I mean, in terms of the type of people that visit the store, the genres of pornography I most often sell, and different (often intimidating) toys, I'm definitely more well versed in sex.

ObsoletePixel5 karma

Two more questions, if you don't mind. First, what orientation are you (and did your job affect that) and secondly, what are some of the genres of pornography you are interested in?

cveraymond15 karma

I am straight, though I have been with a girl before but at was well before getting this job. I like really bad parody pornography. We have a Roseanne (yes, the 90s sitcom...) that is hilarious as well as a Seinfeld and Munsters. I also like lesbian and anal.

manateebee4 karma

Not a question but I just wanted to say that hanging out in sex shops is fun. My boyfriend and I go in when we're bored and chat with the cashiers. I wish you were from where I am because you seem like you'd be fun to chat with!

We also always find some little thing to buy because we hate feeling like we wasted somebody's time. Keep up the good work and fuck the haters!

cveraymond5 karma

Thanks!! I love when people come and talk to me. Makes things much less awkward.

CrrpgLover4 karma

Were you ever harassed in any way during your job? Also, what was the most awkward situation you had during your job?

Btw, you look really cute.

cveraymond17 karma

Thanks for the compliment. The closest I've been to harassed is an overly friendly gentleman named cowboy in a bolo with a tee shirt and a cowboy hat trying to kiss my cheek. I am not flirty at work and I will not permit men to treat me like I'm on display for them.

majorpiss3 karma

Have you hooked up with a stripper

cveraymond15 karma

I have not. I did find out that a couple girls I went to high school with dance here now though.

majorpiss2 karma

Did you get at least a lap dance

cveraymond3 karma

I have actually never gotten a lap dance.

majorpiss3 karma

Well I highly recommend getting at least 1 lap dance. Often girls can get away with a lot more stuff than what guys can away with.

cveraymond13 karma

I went to a strip club in Detroit once and this stripper with the absolute biggest most beautiful ass grabbed my hands and placed them lovingly upon her ghetto booty. I had to change my underpants. I will definitely get a dance one day but it will be from that glorious woman.

majorpiss1 karma

Was she black cuz them black strippers are freaky like that

cveraymond6 karma

Of course she was. It was Detroit ;)

Fate-Huck3 karma

how much faith in humanity have you lost?

ETA: you are quite good looking.

2nd EDIT: we have matching moles above our lips.

cveraymond22 karma

Whatever faith I once had is now gone. But hey, you gotta get your rocks off I guess.

Jamcliff2 karma

Have you ever tried a fleshlight? What were your thoughts????

cveraymond25 karma

I'm a girl so I'm not exactly sure what I'd do with it. I've put my fingers in it and was surprised by how similar it was to a real vagina.

HSimpson8182 karma

Who's your favorite Simpsons character?

cveraymond30 karma

I honestly hate the Simpsons.

JohnStamosBRAH18 karma

dafuq dude?

cveraymond20 karma

Real life.

Jcizzl1 karma

Do you actually get a lot "preview booth" customers? Is the internet that hard to come by?

cveraymond8 karma

We do get a lot of preview customers. We also have a theatre with ten seats (weird, I know...). It's a lot of older men that I assume are not well versed with computers and jack off with the preferred modes of yesteryear.

Tylerddrummer1 karma

Why can't a nose can't be 12 inches?

cveraymond11 karma

Because then it'd be a foot?

Tylerddrummer2 karma

Oh, you've heard it... Now this is more awkward than going in that shop for a dildo that's 2 feet long..... Real question now, what's your favorite part of the job?

cveraymond15 karma

The fact that I get to be on my iPad all day and look at titties whenever the mood strikes. Also, I get a pretty sweet discount. Downsides are day shift strippers dancing to depressing shit like Long December by the Counting Crows. Day shift strippers have seen some shit.

Tylerddrummer2 karma

You look at titties too? We have so much in common. Do strippers ever dance to one of these 3 songs, 1)pour some sugar on me- def leppard 2)you shook me all night long-ac/dc 3)girls girls girls, if so which ones and which is the most common.

cveraymond6 karma

Oh god. All of them. Kill me.