Highest Rated Comments


LzardE66 karma

Reread your last edit at least five times... All I can think of is what are you going to do with a pair of ass cheeks? That or a guy showing up with a gift, you unwrapping it and it's ass.....

LzardE31 karma

Alrighty than. You are in a subway waiting for the thingofamajigger to arrive. You feel so hollow. When was the last time you ate something? Was it that smashed hotdog you pulled out of the trash? No, that was 6 days ago. MmMm hotdog.... Stop it, Stop IT! If you start drooling you will attract attention. Maybe it was that bag of chips you swiped off the news stand three blocks over. No... it was that.... You get distracted as your middle cramps in pain and lets out a loud grumble. Food, you need food. Sadly you are broke after spending your last fiver on a tube of KV to "stay warm at night". As if you believe what you told yourself. Stay on track, money or food. Stealing food will have instant relief but will keep you out of the area for a time while steal money will allow you to buy more food. Decision, decisions. Alright time to look for some money. It is decided! You scope out the other sub goers. The guy in the suit? Nono his jacket is buttoned and chances are his wallet is in the inside. The mother with the small purse? Come on, even you have standards. Oooow how about that guy with his wallet in his back pocket? Good, good. Let us wait for the thingofamajig. And here it comes now. You mosey on over to behind this fella and just as he is getting on the thingofamajig you reach into his ass purse and grab if. Turn! run! Gogogogo!!! Don't look back! Look for a alley and turn into it. Hide behind the dumpster and wait. Deep breaths calm down. Good, all is good. Look down to your loot. And it is ass.

You are starving so eat it anyways.

LzardE24 karma

Oh good, I've got more. How about... You walk into a restaurant and the host asks if you will be dining alone this evening. No, I am expecting someone. A waiter escorts you to a table for two and asks if you would like a menu. You tell the waiter no you are waiting on a date. Tick Tock and ten minutes go by and a server walks up with a plate held over your head. Madam I believe this is what you requested. He lowers the plate and there you have it. A piece of ass.