Masters degree in clinical counseling and a Double BA in psych and women's studies. Licensed in IL and MI.

I want to raise awareness of borderline personality Disorder (bpd) since there's a lot of stigma.

Update - thank you all for your kind words. I'm trying to get thru the questions as quick as possible. I apologize if I don't answer your question feel free to call me out or message me

Hi all - here's a few links:

Types of bpd:

Thank you all for the questions and kind words. I'm signing off in a few mins and I apologize if I didn't get to all questions!

Update - hi all woke up to being flooded with messages. I will try to get to them all. I appreciate it have a great day and stay safe. I have gotten quite a few requests for telehealth and I am not currently taking on patients. Thanks!

Comments: 2177 • Responses: 108  • Date: 

nahnprophet986 karma

Were you actively diagnosed before or after you became a licensed therapist?

lynne123451057 karma

After. Dx last year. But have had dx of depression since I was approximately 10 years old.

nahnprophet1277 karma

Forgive a blunt follow-up; How are you managing to be a healthy presence for your patients while coping with one of the most destabilizing and compromising personality disorders a person can have?

listen1081468 karma

Not OP but I'm a therapist and two of my classmates were diagnosed with BPD. They have both done years of therapy to learn to cope and they are amazing therapists, and if I knew someone with BPD that needed a therapist I would absolutely recommend them as they will be more inspiring and empathetic/relatable for people struggling with similar issues.

That being said, they have to be choosy about what clients they take on, for example men with a lot of anger might not be a good fit for them. One told me she's referred clients that were too triggering for her.

Finally I can say that the best therapists I've had were the ones that have had the most personal challenges. I find them more grounded and relatable and able to connect with me when I'm in a dark place. The best therapists I know are the ones that have been the most challenged in life.

Angrylion1012211 karma

I appreciate this answer! :]

But, I'm still curious what OP has to say since OP was diagnosed a year ago and wasn't receiving treatment for it...but possibly for depression?

lynne12345308 karma

I've been in treatment with a therapist and psychiatrist since I was about ten. So not specifically for bpd but for my depression

nahnprophet121 karma

What was it that got you diagnosed now, as opposed to years ago? Also, what kind of treatment are you now receiving?

lynne12345299 karma

Probably just fresh eyes on a case and 18 years of case hx putting it together. I had a psychiatrist from 11 ish to 17 ish then a new one during college then a new one in grad school then a new one mid twenties. So they were seeing pieces of the puzzle if that makes sense.

Right now I check in regularly with psychiatrist and therapist, do mindfulness and also takes meds

nahnprophet70 karma

Thanks for answering so fast and so thoroughly! What else besides that and depression did they diagnose? I know comorbidity is high with BPD.

lynne12345168 karma

Ha shows I have no life. Woo quarentine.

Oh man all the best letters - ocd, PTSD, PTSD -c, add, ADHD ocd, mdd

_Obi-Wan_Shinobi_34 karma

Are your meds for depression or for BPD? If they're for depression, have you found that they also help you manage your BPD symptoms? If so, how?

lynne1234591 karma

My depression is kind of how my bpd tends to manifest so it helps so I don't go too low

AnnexDelmort593 karma

How do you manage the constant flow of varied negative affect in your daily life as a sufferer of BPD?

And consequently, how does your own experience inform your practice? Curious as to how you arm your clients with the ability to navigate through their own stormy emotional experiences?

I deal with complex trauma and suspect I am also presenting with BPD comorbid traits, and am utterly disarmed by my own emotional pain each day working in a non clinical/psych environment.

lynne12345542 karma

Hi - better living thru mindfulness, consistency and medication is what I believe keeps me on the best path to myself.

I think for my practice with clients it helps me empathize. I don't believe in over disclosing but when they tell me how they were traumatized by being in the hospital I now what what it's like for ex.

I highly encourage you to seek out a therapist. For years I struggled to kind of find my center if you will and this definitely answered a lot of questions for myself.

Thegreatgarbo65 karma

Interesting, never knew that meds were helpful for PD. Which ones? SSRIs? Others?

lynne1234573 karma

I think this is more patient dependent. I found that it helped me.

accidentalquitter370 karma

My mom has BPD. She’s been diagnosed with everything under the sun, but she’s very clearly boderline. She does not take any medication because she immediately finds a side effect or reason to not take it after a week or two. I am in therapy for dealing with her; when she is good she’s good, and when she’s bad she is the most difficult person on earth. Obsessed with controlling people’s decisions, fixates on the bad that could happen, no filter, and a total lack of self awareness at times. She says hurtful things. Her tone is negative. She complains about life 24/7 with no regard for how lucky she is and how bad off she could be. She’ll be 60 this year and unfortunately her attitude has made me really distance myself from her. I’d like to have a better relationship with her, but I know in order for us to be civil I have to speak with her less.

I also want to point out I notice a significant change in her personality when she has too much caffeine. Is this common in people with BPD?


lynne12345126 karma

Yes caffeine can definitely impact. I'm sorry that you've had this experience and I hope that you have support to deal with that relationship.

shaokim309 karma

Thanks for the AMA

Did your BPD ever get you in trouble with clients?

lynne12345552 karma

Nope not once. I have what's called quiet bpd. In a nutshell - I internalize a lot. I have a great job and have been very successful in my time in the field and probably tend to go the extra mile past my co-workers

prettysureaboutstuff232 karma

Thank you for doing this AMA. I was recently diagnosed with "quiet" BPD and a lot of my symptoms finally make sense. My therapist directed me to this website:

When you have some time, can you take a look and see if you think it captures quiet BPD accurately?

lynne1234536 karma

Yep def does!

shaokim181 karma

That begs the question: in what way could it be obvious to other people that you have that diagnosis?

lynne12345274 karma

Hmmm - that's a good question. I could say im a people pleaser to the extreme but there's people without bpd who can say that. I'll have to think on this one.

AnnexDelmort71 karma

Would also like to hear your response.

lynne12345246 karma

So overall I'm a little quirky - I have a love of otters and dogs and tend to be introverted and don't like to be touched at all due to trauma so people may suspect that I'm a little weird from that. But also I know a lot of people say I have resting bitch face and I think that's more so bc I'm processing a situation which may take me a little longer to tell my brain hey lady let's think this out logically.

ExecutiveLampshade82 karma

I also would be interested to hear how you define your quiet BPD. I’ve know my whole life something is quite off about me, and while I do exhibit some personality disorder quirks, they don’t manifest in the traditional way. I’m wondering if they might have various levels of manifestation, and how a more introverted person might process it all internally.

Thank you for doing this AMA, I’m thinking you might be very helpful for a lot of us.

lynne1234571 karma

Oh thats lovely thank you. My thumbs are getting tired gotta switch to my computer but I'll write out the quiet bpd info in a bit

beachdogs3 karma


lynne123458 karma

I hesitate to ever say curable but yes I think with the right time and tools it's manageable and doesnt impact functioning.

DoonaIstel166 karma

Have you seen the show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and if yes how do you think it does in dealing with BPD?

lynne12345198 karma

From what I've seen of the show it's a somewhat accurate portrayal but I've only seen episodes here and there. I like how they did encourage the outpatient treatment and that's it's a long process to work on yourself and how important it is to have a support system

Lemoniecakes117 karma

I have BPD and am currently a uni student. I sometimes worry about my future in the professional world, do you have any advice?

lynne12345154 karma

Find your support system and what works for your self care. I would not be here today without my husband, family, friends and dog. Don't be ashamed to seek out help and don't be afraid to cut out those people who aren't helping to get to the best version of yourself.

I know it helps to figure out what triggers you and some red flags for when you may need more intense help.

Author is escaping me but the WRAP workbooks are helpful.

bad_vaj29 karma

Don't know how to get out of a nasty cycle. I don't have any friends, really need help finding a support system. My feelings get hurt really easily and I always push people away in fear of their rejection. Im 32 and single. Where do I start. Everything feels hopeless.

lynne1234542 karma

I would first try a support group - low pressure and it's validating to hear other people understand you.

Portarossa114 karma

I'm currently reading Kay Redfield Jamison's An Unquiet Mind, and I'm looking for more books of a similar bent -- that is, memoirs about mental illnesses. (I've already read a lot, but it's always good to have more.)

Are there any that you'd particularly recommend? Similarly, are there any that you think are very overrated?

lynne1234552 karma

Wow I've never heard of that (adding it to my book list now).

Hmmm specifically for bpd I can't think of any but I did love an anonymous girl by I believe Sarah hendricks. Deep issues in that one.

lindwormprince108 karma

Have you noticed any specific events from your patient's history that seem to be a catalyst for BPD? Or is it something you're born with? Thanks!

lynne12345219 karma

Definitely trauma.

winosthrowinfrisbees50 karma

I have BPD and I've been doing DBT for 3 years. We are taught the bio-social theory that states research shows that it is a combination of genetics and nurture, but you can still develop BPD with just one or the other. Do you not believe this to be true?

lynne1234584 karma

I think genetics play a part but I think the nuture aspect plays the defining part impo

apple_pine51497 karma

Hello! Thank you so much for your time! Many patients with BPD often have labile, unpredictable emotions and volatile reactions particularly to interpersonal tensions/conflicts. As a therapist myself, I have had my fair share of challenging patients with BPD testing boundaries, splitting and devaluing me, leading sometimes to strong emotions in myself/negative counter transference. As a therapist with BPD, how do you manage to handle these experiences yourself? Do you find yourself relating to your patients with BPD differently/do you see yourself in them either in a positive or negative way?

lynne1234599 karma

Yes - definitely have to be careful to stay in wise mind when dealing with patients. Sometimes I can feel that emotional side wanting to respond or wanting to bond and it's a matter of taking a min and analyzing what is the root of this.

hexjunki84 karma

I'm a 28m with BPD and the stigma is very real, I find it uniquely difficult as a man with the disorder as well as societal it's frowned upon for men to show emotion or have much of an emotional range and due to the disorder I have a huge emotional range that I guess I end up suppressing or comforting.

It's also difficult to deal with on a day to day basis for many reasons but mostly as it's just something I've learned to have to accept about myself, there's strictly speaking no 'cure' as it's effectively a set of disordered personality traits glued together with a high emotional range. So it's mostly been about just managing symptoms day by day.

One question I'd have is how would you describe BPD to people? I have a lot of trouble getting this one across and have family I've tried to explain it to who unfortunately still deny it's even a real thing despite psychiatric diagnosis.

Also how do you deal with staying focused? I find my mind wanders all over the place with the disorder so it's hard to stick to any particular task which extends out to jumping between etc.

lynne12345115 karma

I like to describe bpd as third degree burns of the psyche. We are raw, vulnerable and that's often why our emotions are so disregulated.

Staying focused - giant white boards are your friend lol. That and post it's. Every morning I look at that board and see what I need to get done in my life and work and prioritize from there.

Dr_D-R-E57 karma

I was in a serious relationship with a girl who was diagnosed with BPD, she was also going into a PhD or PsychD for clinical psychology. Smartest person I’ve probably ever known... and I’m an MD myself. The way that many people seem to be able to conceptualize it is if you describe it as bipolar disorder on a very very compressed time scale. Rather than weeks of depression then days of mania, that rage can occur over a few minutes or hours with as intense emotion. As a compensatory mechanisms, borderline people may rationalize things differently as a self defense technique against that very same emotional range. All of this, can fall in context with a deep or unidentifiable lack of sense of self, these symptoms all mixed in with a sense of, “who am I, really?”, which can also feed and be affected by the difficult to manage emotional swings.

lynne123459 karma

Love this description.

Portarossa80 karma

I've got fairly significant issues with OCD and I'm about to go back to school to train in counselling, so it's nice to see that there are definitely therapists out there who have issues of their own and still manage to help others; it's been a pretty big concern since I decided this is what I wanted to do.

Do you have any tips for someone who's looking at taking a similar path with regards to dealing with emotional pressure of being a therapist -- especially with regards to being someone that clients/patients will potentially come to rely on? How do you deal with that balance when you're in the middle of a bad situation with your mental health issues?

lynne12345131 karma

Being upfront with people - I have always told my employers no exceptions I have this dx and here is supporting evidence and make sure HR is aware. I have had to take mental health days and let my boss know. In our field if your boss cannot recognize the importance of self care find someplace else.

Tips : be honest, dont let self care lapse and make sure your clients know they'll be supported if you have to take leave. There is a safety net for them

Maddie-Moo78 karma

Do you take on people with BPD as clients? I know sometimes therapists can be reluctant to work with them.

lynne12345100 karma

Ha I have heard that. I remember when I first met my therapist I def saw her face change when she heard my dx. I actually don't work with them all that often but would be a little cautious. I'm not sure how the dynamic would play out to be honest.

deaf_cheese69 karma

You mention stigma around BPD. If there was one idea concerning BPD that you could quash/explain how it's wrong, what would that be?

lynne12345159 karma

Great question! Hmmm - that we're sex crazy psychos like Sharon stone in that movie where she shows her cooch (blanking!). Or killer stalkery people. Hollywood is not kind lol

People with bpd can be high functioning successful and amazing friends they just sometimes need time space and support in order to function at their best.

Thegreatgarbo25 karma

Does that mean BPD and ASPD are being conflated in Hollywood? Or when you discuss the stigma, do you also include any and all stigma associated with any PD diagnoses?

lynne1234561 karma

I think in general personality Disorder are conflated in Hollywood bc when you discuss it the first thing that comes to mind is oh this person or this character.

tahitianhashish2 karma

I mean that's literally a dx symptom of bpd. Being sexually reckless.

lynne123459 karma

Well being impulsive is. Not sexually reckless.

NeatRepeat57 karma

What's your opinion on subs like bpdlovedones - do you think these help people or make things worse ? Also have you gotten any hate for being open about your diagnosis either online or offline?

lynne1234540 karma

I don't think I've ever gone on that sub to be honest sorry :( are there any examples?

cliffyBP54 karma

Sorry if this might be a bit personal but how are your relationships? Do you have troubles holding them down?

lynne12345137 karma

Interesting enough I don't. I have been previously divorced and am remarried but that's bc my first husband cheated on me and was abusing substances so warranted. I think my biggest hurdle is trusting people, I'm always assuming worst intentions. And not trusting others has keep me safe so to speak as a maladaptive coping skill.

wwatermeloon53 karma

are you sure you have the best beagle ever? mines pretty great, not sure how she could be topped

lynne1234559 karma

Hey my beagle will cuddle the tail off your beagle. His name is bagel and he's the best. Currently taking over my feet lol

wwatermeloon33 karma

awe, my beagle's name is burrito and shes the cuddliest, nicest dog i've met

lynne1234531 karma

Burrito is the cutest name

IOverflowStacks44 karma

Have you or are you treating anyone with BPD? Has your diagnosis changed the way you approach treatment?

lynne1234594 karma

I actually don't work with bpd patients that often more so chronic depression and schizophrenia and drug abuse.

I think approaching treatment now I'm more empathic when someone says they don't want to try something (ex - me suggesting outpatient day treatment for ex).

As I went thru my hospitalization and outpatient intensive treatment I wasn't a fan of group therapy bc there were some very aggressive people there when I felt vulnerable. Treatment is not universal and I like to tell my clients you are the expert on you so we will find something that is tailored to your wants and needs

_dolly_haze_45 karma

Can I piggy-back off of this? I have BPD, but DBT is extremely inaccessible to me due to finances, location, and availability. Even finding a non-specialized counselor was difficult, and I was turned down a lot because of caseloads where I live. I’m sure if I managed to somehow scrap up the money and convinced a group to let me join despite being at capacity, I’d find it helpful. Unfortunately I just don’t vibe well with therapy (no offense at all, I just am personally not good at opening up so sessions are often spent talking about anything other than my BPD).

So, assuming DBT is 100% not an option...what’s the outlook for someone who is committed to trying their best on their own? After living with it and not realizing it, do you think there are people out there who are capable of living fulfilled lives without treatment?

Thanks for all you do!

lynne1234536 karma

I think mindfulness at home and workbooks are helpful. Having a support system of friends neighbor family dog etc is helpful as well. Get to know the ins and outs of your mind

kindasportyhypebae43 karma

One of my best friends was diagnosed with BPD 7 years ago. She fought hard to get diagnosed with something that fit what she was feeling, but afterward her therapist told her it's just a throwaway diagnosis in order to placate those who can't find a proper diagnosis, even though Bipolar Disorder and the other personality disorders didn't fit.

Is there some truth in this statement? Was the therapist just uneducated about how BPD manifests even though she's the one that diagnosed her?

Also, in your experience, how long does it take on average to be diagnosed with BPD once trauma and/or symptoms start to occur?

I have a B.S. in Psychology so I know the basic criteria but you would definitely know more, plus it seemed weird that the therapist would immediately put her down like that.

lynne1234551 karma

Interesting that they would say a throwaway dx. My theory with people getting dx later in life with personality Disorder is bc of the stingma.

I don't have any statistics re dx but I'm betting it takes a while. Bpd can manifest in quite a few different ways and I think why it took so long with me is bc I've been successful and on the outside never let on that anything is wrong

treslechescheesecake42 karma

How do you handle clients whose experiences trigger your own past trauma? I have PTSD from childhood abuse and am also on track to become a therapist.

lynne1234579 karma

Debriefing with my own therapist. I also don't treat children because of this.

Lost_Saul42 karma

Hello, what would be your advice to someone dating a girl with BPD? It's been 5 years.

lynne1234595 karma

There's a book I would recommend - walking on eggshells. And definitely therapy for yourself I can't imagine how it can be exhausting dealing with someone with untreated bpd. Also if your gf has that insight have her outline her triggers, red flags etc and what her go to coping skills are so you can have plans in place.

cornman870040 karma

What experience led you to seek out a diagnosis? What thoughts and/or feelings led you to realize you needed therapy?

lynne1234571 karma

Well my father died when I was quite young after my mother and sister passed before him so I was quite depressed. Tried to kill myself when I was 14 and 17. I realized that I needed seriously help a better therapist etc when I was in college but I came from a well to do white suburban family. Honestly I probably didn't get the help I needed then bc I probably should have been hospitalized but somehow I got thru it.

Black_Sun_Empire38 karma

6 of the 8 people I have dated have been either diagnosed with or shown extreme likelihood of having borderline personality disorder. My question is: should I be worried that my personality seems to attract this kind of person and should I be doing anything differently?

lynne1234548 karma

Could be something to talk to a mental health professional about if it's concerning

whatwouldbuddhadrive36 karma

Hello and thanks for doing this AMA. Do you have any dissociative symptoms with your BPD? I'm not a therapist but a mental health practitioner and have noticed many of my clients with BPD have reported dissociative symptoms and some have self diagnosed as DID.

*edit* spelling

lynne1234555 karma

Yep - altho funny story I just thought I was good at tuning people out. When I was being abused by my step mother I could kind of just turn everything off and look inward... Hard to describe. So I can feel myself doing it and use grounding techiques to help

leilaaliel31 karma

How do you address the stigma against BPD amongst your colleagues? I know from working inpatient psych, BPD is thrown around like a curse. What kind of experiences have you had with being open with your colleagues?

lynne1234537 karma

Ha well. My friends like to joke they already knew I was crazy before being in the "nut hut" but honestly no one treated me any different - they may check in on me a bit more but most of them expressed how they're proud that I've been open about it.

TheRealGnarlyThotep27 karma

I read somewhere that BPD symptoms tend to peak in your 20s and can often get better (or at least less severe) on their own over the rest of your life.

I’m I through the worst of this yet or is that hopelessly optimistic?

lynne1234529 karma

I have read that too but unfortunately don't know the scientific data behind that

Liarm3454324 karma

As someone interested in becoming a therapist or going into the field of clinical psychology, I have my reservations as I have mild depression and feel like I have to be somewhat ‘healed’ or go through therapy to understand myself more before I can help others.

Do you think this is true and would you recommend going ahead in this profession even for those with known mental needs?

lynne1234544 karma

It's completely dependent on that individual - you need to be stable enough to treat others. I have been in treatment for ... Dear lord it's been close to twenty years. I am constantly working on myself. I am constantly checking in with my peers and doctor's to make sure they feel I'm ok to practice.

If you want it, work on yourself to make sure your mental health is protected and when you feel stable go for it.

kfgoodd23 karma

My daughter had BPD and has been in a youth mental facility for the past year after trying to stab me. I love her and always will but I don't think I can ever trust her again, especially since she denies the event ever happened. She is almost 16. Does this get better with time? Also how would you manage bpd symptoms and episodes with other young children in the home? We are going to have her home again soon and none of her doctors or therapists have any advice on the subject.

lynne1234516 karma

Oh wow - unfortunately I don't want to give anything that falls under professional advice but intensive family therapy and boundaries will be helpful. Best of luck to you.

Mr_TedBundy18 karma

How would you feel if it was determined that you actually don't have Borderline PD? What if tomorrow you woke up to a letter from the diagnosing provider who reported a mix up and now reports that you are suffering from social anxiety, ptsd, and depression? Would that change your outlook on things? Would you accept the new clinical diagnosis with open arms?

lynne1234522 karma

Heck yea! To me the label doesn't matter so much as the treatment. My treatment has worked thus far.

PancakeParthenon14 karma

Did you undergo DBT therapy and, if so, how effective was it for you?

lynne1234517 karma

I did it for a bit after hospitalization and I go to groups every now and then but quite rarely. I use mindfulness and am trained in dbt so most times I rely on what I was trained with

ultravioletgaia10 karma

Is bpd also in a spectrum? Like autism?

lynne1234512 karma

I think it is since it can manifest differently

elefantstampede9 karma

I am a teacher and there’s kind of an unwritten agreement with many of us in the profession that those who have struggled to learn in the past make the best teachers. Many of the teachers at my school struggle with dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD, etc... I, myself, have been diagnosed with ADHD.

Is it similar in therapy that if you have a mental illness, you can be better prepared (for lack of a better way of communicating it) to help people who suffer from similar ones?

lynne1234513 karma

I believe so. Honestly I've never met a therapist etc who said man I had the best life no anxiety no issues ever lol


I’ve only ever heard of borderline personality disorder in the context of Girl, Interrupted. How accurate would you say the portrayal is and, if not accurate at all, could you explain why. Also do you like the book or movie?

lynne1234516 karma

This is horrible but I've never read the book. And in the movie I think Angelia jolie actually embodied bpd more - manipulation is a big trait and why therapists are not jumping to treat bpd pts

soleilady7 karma

Hi! My sister also has BPD. Recent diagnosis. From a personal and professional perspective, are there things I could be actively doing to support her?

lynne1234510 karma

I would read walking on eggshells it has some ideas in there

lostinbatcountry2427 karma

What are your thoughts on medication? Did you have the experience of trying out different antidepressant medications as a young person before your current dx?

Also, can you provide general advice for interacting with a loved one who was recently diagnosed as schizophrenic? It runs in my family but I haven’t really learned yet how to interact with my brother when his world view is not what I would call “reality.”

lynne1234513 karma

There's a right time and place for meds. I think I've run thru about 5-6 antidepressants at this point. I found that cymbalta kept me even keel where I don't fall into deep depression.

Meds unfortunately for psych are trial and error. My best advice if it isn't working for you speak up! You are your best advocate

lexijoy7 karma

Is there a good way to get someone who had suspected BPD to get help? With one of the common threads being distrust, is there a way to get through?

lynne1234513 karma

Unfortunately you can lead a horse to water....

randomusername0237 karma

How do your BPD symptoms manifest?

lynne1234512 karma

Paranoia intense emotions self harm suicidal ideation depression anxiety hmmm I think that's it.fear of abandonment

SistaSaline7 karma

If you don’t mind sharing, what led to your hospitalization?

Do you ever become friends with your former clients long after therapy?

Do you disclose your diagnosis to clients?

You mentioned you don’t like touch - do you ever accept hugs from clients?

How do you approach the conversation when you have to refer a triggering client out?

lynne1234521 karma

Ok let me go down the list here:

Hospitalized bc I knew if I was left alone I would kill myself - immediately called my psychiatrist and they took me to the hospital. I had a very tough prior weekend where I organized a bridal shower and my family told me repeatedly I ruined it. I think it was the straw that broke the camel's back after a few bad days.

Never friends after therapy - of course if I see them out and about I never ignore them but only talk if they approach me as not everyone wants to be outed

I never disclose to clients unless they explicitly ask

No hugs - more so bc I don't want to traumatize If they've been thru trauma.

For referring a client I usually say you know I have a colleague who I feel would be better suited for meeting your needs how about we meet and see how you feel moving fwd with them

momosem6 karma

Did your mental health influenced your degree obtention?

lynne123458 karma

In the sense it drove my love for the field yes

biggletits5 karma

Thank you for doing this!

Do you think people that are diagnosed bpd but refuse any sort of treatment are capable of being in a healthy relationship?

lynne1234515 karma

Hmm my instinct is to say no.

larndog4 karma

Hey! Thanks for doing this. I have two questions: firstly, do you think that it's possible for someone with decent insight and motivation to recover from BPD without professional intervention, and if so what would be the best way to go about that? (I really hope its possible, since that's pretty much the reality I'm facing)... Secondly, how do you deal with the assumption that everyone who has BPD is an abuser? I feel like the stigma is just as debilitating as the disorder in a lot of ways.

lynne123456 karma

  1. I think yes it's possible altho that would take amazing insight.

  2. It's very tough. My husband and I are trying to have a child and I can't tell you how many people have told me that im gonna end up abusing my child and ruining them forever. Honestly I think education and advocacy are the best tools.

Dammit_forgot_pw3 karma

Can BPD be "cured"?

lynne1234522 karma

Eh. I hate to ever say cured. I've read studies where people grow out of it bc boiled down bpd can be maladaptive coping and if treated early can help with that coping and perspectives so they can function to the best of their ability.

Sed592 karma

I don't have study sources, but supposedly, older individuals of various personality disorders have watered down "symptoms". Example pop article alluding to that:

lynne123455 karma

Very interesting I'll take a read.

Blythey3 karma

It is interesting to me that you sought diagnosis after becoming qualified, what was the reason?

lynne123454 karma

I actually didn't seek it out I was hospitalized and the psychiatrist dx me with it ... Everything just fell into place

SuddenFellow3 karma

Hey there, glad to see BPD being represented on an AMA.

I've been in therapy for ~12 years now, and at two points during my journey BPD has been brought up for me, and later trashed. I am diagnosed with PTSD, and in my own search for answers, I landed on C-PTSD. I was wondering, as someone with BPD and experience in the field, do you think that there's cross over between the two? I also was curious about how you view your diagnosis yourself?

Thank you so much for doing this AMA.

lynne123454 karma

I think there's a huge cross over. I was dx with complex PTSD as well and I think as psychology evolves and studies it more they'll see this

Thenewsspike2 karma

Do you think borderline people are terrible people?

Do you agree with most mental health workers who say there is basically no cure?

lynne123456 karma

I don't think there are terrible people just those that are struggling. And no I don't like the word cure there are treatments

kulia8082 karma

I have BPD, seems like a lot worse than yours, so lucky you. Do you have a problem obsessing or trying to fix your clients? I don’t think I’d ever be able to do that, because I’m a fixer and I’ll obsess over every way to help somebody.

lynne123453 karma

Ha obsession is my middle name. But it's more so in a productive way - I need to be the best fix everyone I'm a failure if I don't yada yada. I obsess and ruminate about my actions as well. A lot of self monitoring

kulia8082 karma

Yupp... this is me in my friendships and more so relationships. Kudos, I truly don’t know how you do it ❤️

lynne123452 karma

How does an ant eat a Buffalo?

One bite at a time. Lol

Somepersonin20202 karma

What does it feel like to have borderline personality disorder? Are you able to control you emotions?

I understand that there are a lot of stigmas against PDs. Sorry about that /: I get treated like I'm brain dead because of autism myself.

lynne123456 karma

I would say 96 percent of the time I can control it. But sometimes I have anger or paranoia or sadness our of nowhere. This is when I let my support team know aka my husband and we work on targeted coping skills to calm down and re ground

Jessisan2 karma

Thank you for doing this AMA! I think it’s very important to fight stigma surrounding mental health and show that those with mental illness can still forge their own paths to success despite the obstacles their illness may bring forward.

I’m currently applying for my masters to become a mental health counselor. Do you think it’s better to get a masters in clinical mental health counseling or clinical social work in order to achieve being a mental health counselor? I’ve heard people say that it’s harder to get hired as a LPC than a LCSW for insurance purposes, etc.

lynne123452 karma

Sw are much more widely accepted. In private practice I did self pay but moving state to state is less of a pain bc of sw.

scumbagpasta2 karma

Thank you for answering so many of our questions. Do you think it is possible for a person with BPD to truly fall in love? With how much I split, I never feel like I can trust my emotions towards my favorite person, good or bad. Also, I believe many people with BPD seem to mimic their favorite people instead of being their own person. Do you believe it is possible to find yourself while also maintaining relationships with those people? Thank you again!

lynne123456 karma

Hmmm. Good question. I'll only speak for myself but I knew my husband was my soulmate when he saw me splitting, being paranoid, yelling screaming etc. He has seen me as my best and my worst selves and embraces both.

AliCracker1 karma

I’ve been on multiple different cocktails of medications for anxiety/depression/mania over my lifetime, all with horrid results (was diagnosed mild BDP 2 years ago (prior misdiagnosis of Bipolar, which I hear is common)

I’ve worked more with CBD and DBT with better results, but also started taking Naltrexone last year to help curb my drinking (started using the Sinclair method, but now take it daily) and cannot believe what a difference it makes to my BPD traits. Are you aware of any actual clinical trials showing improvements for BDP patients taking Naltrexone? I’m very curious why after 25 years of suffering, an opioid blocker seems to be my magic pill

And thanks for doing this AMA, I’m really enjoying reading everyone’s questions and the responses

lynne123452 karma

Wow I have never heard of naltrexone with bpd! I'll have to research that more thanks!

lofty_landlubber1 karma

Of course you are. Isn't that one of the requirements of becoming a soul explainer since the first shaman that spat spinach into the face of an autist in a tent made of squirrel pelts?

lynne123451 karma

Are you having a stroke?

Scoundrelic1 karma


I've heard BPD often emulate behavior of people they meet. Is this something you accept can happen or reject?

If it is something you accept as true, have you noticed this in yourself?

When did you notice you were copying someone else's behavior?

When did you notice to break that habit?

Have you been in love?

Are you promiscuous?

lynne123453 karma

Wow ok I'll try to answer all -

I don't emulate but I do know there's a party side to myself and a quiet side. People tend to like the party side at weddings etc so it's validating. I went to wedding shortly after my hospitalization and was constantly bombareded with what's wrong why aren't you dancing/drinking etc.

No to copying.

Yes to love - married twice divorced once. No plans to divorce anytime soon lol

No promiscuous - probably bc I was sexually assaulted at 17 so I don't like physical touch.

ACole84891 karma

Side question. What's the field like in MI? I'm and LCSW in NJ and my girlfriend lives near Ann Arbor. I'm looking to move around October, and I'm curious how the work is out there.

lynne123452 karma

It's great - at least from what I've seen plentiful work. Right now I work for telehealth for IL but live in Michigan. I know there's a hospital system I believe St Joe's looking for psych staff but I just moved here last April so don't quote me on that name.

Creighshawn1 karma

What kind of therapist should I look for when trying to get a diagnosis? My husband and I live in a more suburban area and while we have resources I’m not sure what exactly to look for in regards to getting him help. No diagnosis other than panic disorder but he meets most of the criteria. So far everyone has just wanted to prescribe him a shit load of Xanax and be done.

lynne123452 karma

Oh geez that's not good. You can start with a clinical psychologist would be a good place

seansean881 karma

Did you find Hansa Coffee shop or LB Brewery a nice place to study/unwind?

lynne123451 karma

I'm not sure where those are?

alexman910 karma

fucked a patient?

lynne123451 karma

Never. Against all ethics code and I take patient responsibility very seriously.

IZZI22330 karma

My girlfriend is acting strange, one day she is happy and talkative and everything is good, and the next is gloomy and wants doesn't respond to my messeges and so on.

She has some rules for herself that she never is on the phone when she is watching TV and has many many episodes of "I want to be left alone" for 2-3 hours and doesn't talk to anyone.

I'm having many fights with her lately because she is not the person I fell in love with and doesn't give me any attention and have this wild mood swings from day to day.

When I told her that I should act like her to see if she likes it she said that it is not natural for me like it is for her and I will build resentment twords her and I will destroy the relationship because I'm am usually to lovely and attentive, like wtf? And she get's lost in any little thing like she wants to escape reality or something, she also sleeps like 14 hours a day while she gets to bed at 4-5 in the morning(we do not live toghether).

To sumarize: -She sleeps alot and that during the day because "on it is night it is so much quiter" - She has crazy mood swings - She was not like this from the beggining (we are in a relationship for a year and 3 months and she started to act a bit strange from month 9) - She is almost always pesimistic lately and outside thing influence her very much

Please, does this sound like a medical condition? I know this AmA may not be the place to ask this and I might be biased in what I say but I am desperate.

lynne123451 karma

Unfortunately I can't offer medical advice. Please seek out a local mental health professional - if you're in the USA reach out to NAMI and they can help with resources

Late_For_Username0 karma

Isn't BPD common amongst therapists?

lynne123451 karma

No idea. Anxiety may be but anecdotally is what I know.

[deleted]0 karma


lynne1234514 karma

I'm sorry what's the problem? I reposted per the mods. I am verified above.

colossuskidd0 karma

Do you own city wok chicken?

lynne123451 karma

Lol nope. I wish I did.

LegacyofaMarshall0 karma

I have an Associate's in Human Services and a Bachelor's in Psychology I want to a therapist as well I was rejected from an entering a Master's in Social Work Program what do you recommend I do? Thank you

lynne123451 karma

We're you rejected due to grades?