I'm m20 and a year ago i was diagnosed with cancer which I received surgery and radiotherapy for, I was initially given the "all clear" but a few months ago It became clear that the cancer had spread. I've recently finished 3 months of chemo which has kept the cancer static for now. feel free to ask me anything about everything!

Edit: thank you for the awards! :) Edit 2: I didn't expect this to get as big as it did, I'm still getting around to answering your questions.

Edit 3: I know I spelled losing wrong.

My Proof: hopefully my roastme is enough proof let me know if it isn't. https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/d6bfz3/put_my_recurring_cancer_into_perspective_reddit/

Comments: 1701 • Responses: 109  • Date: 

AnOodFellow4548 karma

I’ve got to know: is there anyone in your life who you haven’t told the full extent of your cancer situation? And if so, have you noticed that they’ve changed their treatment of you back to normal? 21 yo male here who, after getting sick of the different treatment, told everyone I was cured. Made things go back to normal even though I’ll be gone in ~2 years. Edit: thank you for the gold x3!!!! It’s my first ever (now x3, WHAT IS HAPPENING?!) and I’m smiling like hell (x 3,000,000), all it took was having cancer ❤️

Ttrebble0cS1815 karma

I'm sorry to hear you're going through similar shite. The only people I won't tell are people from school who I no longer speak to.

AnOodFellow686 karma

And I’m sorry we’re in the same situation. It’s so cliche, but keep that positive attitude and, as we don’t have much time, eat as much delicious food as you can!

Ttrebble0cS489 karma

thanks the same for you too and if you see an artist you like get the damn tickets :)

AniMaLKracKeR6661711 karma

When you first found out about everything what was your initial reaction?? Also, do you feel like people suddenly treat you different because of it??

Ttrebble0cS1909 karma

People definitely treat me differently. My first thought was "oh shit" followed by how I was going to tell my friends and so on.

queen-of-derps557 karma

How did you tell them?

Ttrebble0cS1061 karma

people knew I was recovering from radiotherapy and when I became ill for the second time I told hem that I was back in hospital and that it was incurable.

Jarcooler837 karma

Love your sense of humour with your /r/roastme thread, what was your reaction to some of the darker jokes there?

Sorry to hear what you're going through, cancer is an absolute bastard. Are there any annoying habits in the way people interact with you or things you wish people would do differently?

Ttrebble0cS1038 karma

I had a great time doing the roastme, hospital gets very boring so it was nice to have a laugh at myself even though the situation wasn't ideal. I'd say the thing that annoys me is that I'm still me and i enjoy all the same things and I don't want to be treated any differently.

excruiseshipdealer165 karma

How did you feel about so many replies virtue-signalling instead of legit roasting? I get the feeling you were there becasue you DIDN"T want pity and so many people were scared to play along. I get their reaction but if I was on there it would be roast-city or STFU!

Good luck to you, BTW. I hope you kick the shit outta that horrible fucker!

Ttrebble0cS331 karma

I can understand why some people didn't want to roast but i wanted something entertaining to do in hospital and ive always been one for dark humour.

thebigbad_wolf466 karma

have you started to cook meth?

Ttrebble0cS669 karma

NO!!! UHHHHHH. NOT AT ALLLLL

Aszerah404 karma

How has your personality post-cancer changed compared to your personality pre-cancer, if at all?

Also, can you describe for us the experience of chemotherapy and radiotherapy, as well as the differences between the two? How painful are they? What are some long-term effects (e.g. on energy levels)?

Ttrebble0cS603 karma

I had plans for what I wanted to do in life but now I'm just trying to enjoy what I can, I haven't noticed too many changes in myself but I probably value things more. Radiotherapy is in my experience much easier than chemo, it lasts less than a minute and apart from the burns there are not too many adverse side effects.

InFirstGear151 karma

What were your life plans, what did you want to do?

Ttrebble0cS484 karma

It a little unusual but I was learning to build guitars by hand and had plans on being self employed. I posted a few pictures quite a while ago.

LongTempered108 karma

That’s awesome! Do you have a lot of experience building guitars already or is it something that you would like to learn?

Ttrebble0cS273 karma

Ive made 6 and sold 3 of them i wanted to take it further but things happened.

AreYouHighClairee356 karma

What do you wish you caretakers (or friends and family) knew or would do?

I’ve been a caretaker twice- to my mom and one of my best friends. The best help we received were people coming over to do our chores. I remember coming home after a long day at the hospital to find one of my mom’s friends came in and did our laundry and dishes. The amount of relief and love I felt from that was unforgettable.

Sending you heaps of love x

Ttrebble0cS337 karma

That I still want to feel as normal as possible in this time, going for a drink or a concert aswell as just hanging out with friends.

AreYouHighClairee77 karma

Who do you want to see perform?

Ttrebble0cS122 karma

Dirty loops

TheFergusLife60 karma

Just from scrolling through this thread you have almost the exact same taste in music as me. Glad you’re still around for Dirty Loops’ return!

Ttrebble0cS64 karma

Let's hope KNOWER get something out soon, they're teasing something I'm sure of it!

TheFergusLife30 karma

I hope so, the demo stuff Louis Cole has been releasing kicks ass. He never fails to blow me away

Ttrebble0cS42 karma

I'll be seeing him for the third time in march

AreYouHighClairee2 karma

I hadn’t heard of them, but gave them a listen and I like! Might put it on my rotation!

Ttrebble0cS6 karma

Work shit out is a great tune also their cover of just dance is amazing

AreYouHighClairee3 karma

Holy crap I was not expecting that Just Dance cover! They are legit.

Ttrebble0cS8 karma

I wish they had a tour date in the UK but they don't but I don't mind, I saw KNOWER a few years ago and they where insane.

FriendlyCatholicGirl336 karma

What advice would you give to your fellow 20 year olds?

Ttrebble0cS1709 karma

Quite simply don't be a dick to one another.

saudadedabahia209 karma

Anything you wish people would not say to you in general or in the hospital? What would make visits better? (I saw a lot of people struggle with what to do or say visiting my partner in the hospital when he had cancer.)

Fuck cancer. Wishing you the best.

Ttrebble0cS279 karma

I like it if people don't mention the illness too much, hospital gets very boring so something entertaining is best.

SnatchAddict56 karma

Can you be more specific? Cer-tainly?

Ttrebble0cS121 karma

Board games to pay or a film to watch while in getting the chemo (I had I had mine at night)

bobbyleendo41 karma

Are you allowed to bring an Xbox or a PlayStation in there? Or even a larger tv from home?

Ttrebble0cS60 karma

i probably could but due to the problems with my hand holding a controller would be difficult.

Steffelsteef175 karma

What is your emotion towards the cancer itself? Are you angry, sad, or have you accepted it?

Ttrebble0cS376 karma

I have gone through periods of being angry and sad but now I've accepted what's happening

kaaregus161 karma

What kind of cancer?

Ttrebble0cS205 karma

Sarcoma

AERO-2-D2151 karma

Hi! Me and a few friends (mostly elder friends of our parents, and their friends) have set up a little thing in my country where we send people (whom have been dealt a rough hand) Christmas cards every year, to brighten their day.

Your story hits home for me, as I have had 3 people in my fam die to this wretched disease.

My question to you, would be: can I send you a Christmas card?

Ttrebble0cS81 karma

Sure, what is the name of the organisation?

AERO-2-D282 karma

It's called Opkikker, but the card sending initiative isn't a registered organisation or something, just a load of people on a mailinglist that send cards with love to those that can use some extra love in tough times.

Ttrebble0cS52 karma

I'll have a look

Boriscopter128 karma

Do you ahve a bucket list? If so, what do you want to experience the most?

Lots of support, brother. Stay strong!

Ttrebble0cS218 karma

I don't have a bucket list as such but I have got 3 concerts planned between now and march

Boriscopter57 karma

Oh who are you gonna see?

Ttrebble0cS195 karma

Next week I'm seeing snarky puppy and in February Cory Wong followed by Louis Cole in march (this is the third time I will have seen him in concert).

Madi2737 karma

My husband and I saw snarky puppy in September and they were amazing! Hope you enjoy the show as much as we did!

Ttrebble0cS37 karma

I saw them a few years ago and when the opportunity to see them again came up there was only one good answer to give :)

clarinet8713 karma

I love Snarky Puppy! It’s always a great show and you just feel good after! Enjoy!!

Ttrebble0cS13 karma

thanks, im looking forward to it.

CharlesWoodson23 karma

Three of my favorite acts. Cory Wong puts on an amazing show! Big fan of the new album as well

Ttrebble0cS3 karma

I got a songkick notification and asked my brother if he wanted to see him, within 10 minuets we had tickets.

shaokim91 karma

What was the primary tumor location?

Where has it spread?

Ttrebble0cS145 karma

It was originally on the median nerve in my arm and has since spread to the lining of my left lung.

Koean55 karma

Serious question, was their ever a possibility to have the arm lopped off?

Ttrebble0cS86 karma

Before I had my operation i was told there was a chance they would have to amputate.

poldeuargento81 karma

How are you?

Ttrebble0cS90 karma

I'm doing well how about you?

poldeuargento98 karma

Dropped out of college, thanks a lot for posting this (in a good way), I sometimes end the day with 'tough day', but then I remember people like you that are (not saying this in any malicious way) having a worse time than I am. Don't know if you're a believer but hope you don't mind if I pray for you tonight. I hope you have a good recovery. How are you doing with the medical bills? I heard that those are real bad in the US?

Ttrebble0cS198 karma

I'm from Scotland so no medical bills here :)

yellow-mellow132 karma

Don't mean to take over someone else comment but what part of Scotland are you from? I have an uncle who is from Inverness, the highlands are so pretty :)

Ttrebble0cS47 karma

west coast, i used to live not far from Inverness

Ttrebble0cS73 karma

I don't have a s/o I'm not sure how they're handling the news but it's definitely been a difficult year for everyone. People react differently but I'm happy to talk about it however they take it.

eatmygummies8872 karma

Do you find it hard to relate to others your age because of what you've been through?

Ttrebble0cS114 karma

It's definitely hard as not many people my age have had cancer let alone be told they won't be getting better.

uTuned64 karma

What changes happen to your body During chemotherapy.?

Did you feel something is wrong before finding out you had cancer?

I pray for your speedy recovery

Ttrebble0cS92 karma

I had been experiencing some problems with my left hand before things started going south, when I got ill again I was having breathing problems and had to go to a&e. Chemotherapy caused me to loose my hair and my immune system went to sh*t so I had a cold which lasted for over a month among other things.

Codeman1411262 karma

How loose is it?

Ttrebble0cS41 karma

very

corjar1660 karma

Is there any chance that you will beat the cancer or is it pretty much a done deal? I know stage 4 is when it spreads and I would imagine it would be difficult to get rid of it at that point, but I don't know much about cancer and treatment.

I hope you can beat the odds.

Ttrebble0cS79 karma

It pretty much confirmed that i will not be getting better.

sleepilyLee59 karma

How did you find out you had cancer? Could you tell something was wrong?

How has it changed you? How has it changed the way you’re treated by others?

Ttrebble0cS88 karma

I started to develop trouble breathing along with moderate discomfort so I went to the doctor who send me straight to a&e where I had a few x-rays and found out that the lining of the left lung had filled with fluid. People are definitely more sympathetic towards me now that I've been told that I won't be getting better.

zzzzz9412 karma

Is this osteosarcoma or another type of sarcoma?

Ttrebble0cS21 karma

It tarted out life as a nerve sheath sarcoma which spread to my lung.

armyhe0553 karma

Are you scared of death?

Ttrebble0cS128 karma

I'm not sure but not really

offended322351 karma

what's the best joke you have ever been told?

Ttrebble0cS105 karma

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

offended322344 karma

...why?

Ttrebble0cS254 karma

He couldn't see that well.

CheetoDust_InTheWind47 karma

What is the most ridiculous piece of advise someones given you to treat it? Also, whats the funniest thing someone’s said in an attempt to appear supportive?

Ttrebble0cS121 karma

Probably people who recommended herbal remedies. I got some good responses on my roast which where funny aswell as supportive.

CheetoDust_InTheWind61 karma

So you’re telling me that the garlic enemas DONT work?!

Ttrebble0cS90 karma

Nah they work best on vampires.

bbitchlasagna45 karma

How has cancer changed how the people around you interact with you? Have people been extra nice, have you lost people?

Ttrebble0cS83 karma

Some people end up being extra nice and I definitely appreciate that but it's better if I'm just treated normally, being ill sucks but I don't want to feel worse about it.

RandomPhail40 karma

Oh, how did you know you had it?

Is it, like, glaringly obvious whenever cancer develops?

I’ve been trying to google what it “feels” like (like does it cause pain in the area), but google just basically says “DePeNdS!” which is probably true, but very unhelpful.

Ttrebble0cS54 karma

The first time around I was experiencing issues with my hand and more recently I was having trouble breathing but it varies depending on the person aswell as the type of cancer

CrochetyNurse39 karma

Oncology nurse here!

What regimen are you on? Do you feel your medical team gave you adequate information about what to expect? (I do care management and focus on education and management of side effects) Have you been able to try marijuana for side effects? If so, how did it work for you?

Ttrebble0cS56 karma

I was getting treated at a hospital in Scotland called the Beatson the people there where incredibly helpful. The green stuff is still illegal here so I've been unable to try it.

foxymulderr36 karma

how do you stay positive in the face of grief & your families reactions to your illness? what did your family do that really help you? my mother has stage 4 terminal cancer & I want to know if there’s any advice you can give for her to stay positive & for me to make that easier for her.

Ttrebble0cS42 karma

I personally like to keep things as light hearted as possible but it depends on the person.

fugensnot33 karma

I had a friend pass away from brain cancer. She first got her diagnosis and treatment at age 21 and passed away ten years later after 9 years of remission. I never asked her her thoughts in her impending death.

What are your thoughts on a pending death? This friend could be a big jerk sometimes, how do you feel about people thinking back on your life and remembering parts of you that cast you in a bad light?

Ttrebble0cS42 karma

I don't mind but as long as there are some good memories in there.

NotoriousAnonymity32 karma

How do you think people should handle talking/commiserating with those experiencing cancer?

It's hard to know what to say. Some people don't want to hear "gosh that sucks man, I am so sorry" because it brings up negative feelings, others don't want to hear "stay strong, you're going to pull through" because they don't really know they will, or know they won't, and others pretend like everything is normal, even though it's not normal and there's a big scary elephant in the room.

It's one thing to take your cues from the person directly, if they offer them, but sometimes it's hard to gauge, or you don't have enough info. Are you okay with any/all of the above?

Ttrebble0cS43 karma

It varies from person to person, I personally want people to treat me no differently than before hospital gets boring and Ive heard enough bad news so I like to have a laugh mostly

Relli198932 karma

What is the most difficult aspect of treatment? What has been the easiest?

Ttrebble0cS123 karma

Hospital stays are extremely boring and it's difficult to sleep with people constantly walking in to give me medication also not being violently sick when the chemo kicks in. Haircuts have been very easy ;)

onlybrownpanther26 karma

What do you love more than anything in this world?

Ttrebble0cS62 karma

good company and good music

SethAndBeans25 karma

You fuck with the fun shit yet? If the drawback heroin/coke/crack/meth is that it'll kill you, but you're gonna die anyway, is there really a drawback?

/s

Ttrebble0cS25 karma

who says i dont ;) (no Mr prosecutor that was a joke)

Checkmate1win22 karma

How did you find out? I mean, it's not typical for younger people to be checked for cancer in the first place. At least not where I'm from.

Ttrebble0cS50 karma

I have a condition called neurofibromatosis type 21 which can cause benign tumors to grow on the nerves so when I started experiencing problems with my hand I was scanned and a large tumor was found on the median nerve in my left arm, after more scans I was told it was malignant.

hate8hate26 karma

What kind of scans? Sorry to hear this. Fuck Cancer.

Ttrebble0cS24 karma

Ultrasound, pet/ct, MRI and a biopsy.

JwPATX5 karma

What kind of problems with your hand?

Ttrebble0cS12 karma

Worsening numbness and a loss of function in the fingers.

DiamoNNNd133722 karma

hoping it doesnt happen but do you feel any kind of relief that it might finally be all over incase you don’t beat it?

Ttrebble0cS35 karma

yes but there are still things I wish I could've done/experienced

HowlingHowl18 karma

Can you work? How's your social life?

Ttrebble0cS54 karma

Unfortunately I can't work and I had to stop college some time ago. My social life is fine I still get to meet friends when I can.

Tomoda_17 karma

How long do you have left?

Ttrebble0cS47 karma

As the cancer was static when I had my last scan it's unknown but it's sarcoma in my lung so I can't be too optimistic.

Tomoda_16 karma

What stage is it?

Ttrebble0cS46 karma

Stage 4 it started in my arm and the tumour was removed but the precancerous cells had already spread

Hannah_Lynn9814 karma

First of all, I’m so sorry for your situation. I know that literally means nothing coming from a stranger on the internet, but I am sorry.

I guess I was just wondering if you ever try to use the situation to your advantage? Like in terms of dealing with other people - guilt-tripping, rather.

No judgements if you do, I’m sure most people would! It’s just something I was curious about

Ttrebble0cS102 karma

I generally don't but if I'm with my brothers I might jokingly say "but I have cancer" if I'm asked to do something.

TristanBrown1710 karma

I’m sorry to hear it. I lost my cousin to testicular cancer a couple years back now. What would be the one thing you want people to remember about you when you’re gone?

Ttrebble0cS23 karma

I want people at least be able to have a laugh and remember me not hooked up to numerous machines in hospital.

goodmangoingforward8 karma

What is your life advice for 20 year olds that are healthy?

Also: It breaks my heart to read all your answers in this thread. All I can say is that I will pray for you and don't lose hope, miracles can happen.

Ttrebble0cS8 karma

Enjoy what you can and dont be a dick.

drcupcake238 karma

Hey, OP. If you could do one thing differently, what would it be? Also, sending you loads of love and good fortune. I'm 20 too and I can't imagine what it must be like. Stay strong <3

Ttrebble0cS18 karma

not spending as much time with the wrong people, it sounds minor but Ive only recently realised ow much it effected me.

itsnoodleboo8 karma

First, my condolences, on the cards you’ve been dealt.

What are your thoughts on people your same age who are otherwise well trying to commit suicide? Do you see it as a waste of life?

Ttrebble0cS49 karma

I wouldn't be able to say as i've never been suicidal and I don't know what they're dealing with. Sorry if it seems like i'm avoiding the question but I don't want to talk for other people.

zoghetti7 karma

What's your favourite book/movie? Why?

Ttrebble0cS41 karma

Baby driver is by far one of the best films i've seen, Edger Wright is brilliant.

kdr-7 karma

Sorry if the question sounds harsh, I'm not intending to.

But have you had a chance to find love in your life. If so, how did that turn out? If not, do you wish you had that chance?

Ttrebble0cS34 karma

I've always been single and I wouldn't want to put anyone though watching someone slowly die due to the cancer.

Arkeros6 karma

Have you thought about your funeral?

Ttrebble0cS16 karma

No but as the last year has been so bad I'd like to at least have a light hearted send off.

babar775 karma

First im so sorry for what happend to you. do you fear death? Cause i do

Ttrebble0cS3 karma

not really

i-node4 karma

How did your arm feel when you got cancer? Something must have felt off for you to get it diagnosed. Was there a warning sign?

Ttrebble0cS7 karma

It had become numb and I was losing the use of my fingers.

macedoraquel3 karma

Congrats for the strength and positivity! My question is: Do you have any regrets?

Ttrebble0cS9 karma

Spending too much time with the wrong people, i didn't realise how negatively it effected me.

BoyMeetsWorldBoy3 karma

How do you feel about death? Did you come to terms with it?

Ttrebble0cS20 karma

I'm not sure how I feel about death it's self but I've come to terms with the fact I will kick the bucket sooner than most.

hermano_desperto3 karma

Did you try weed for treatment? What do you think about it?

Ttrebble0cS10 karma

THC is still illegal in the UK I've tried TBC but I didn't notice any changes

gallifreyneverforget2 karma

What is TBC?

Ttrebble0cS2 karma

*CBD my mistake

epicpillowcase3 karma

I'm really sorry, that sucks. I really hope you can enjoy as much as possible with the time you have.

My question is: what does the media/pop culture get wrong about it?

Ttrebble0cS5 karma

Sometimes it can be over glorified

Puff_the_penguin2 karma

Are you scared?

Ttrebble0cS9 karma

What of?

TheBoogyMan_2 karma

Is being alone difficult? Things like falling asleep or just sitting in your house I imagine are rough just due to what our minds will wander off to.

Ttrebble0cS3 karma

I've moved back home but it's difficult not doing what I would otherwise be doing.

Ship_Rekt2 karma

How did you discover you had cancer? What were the symptoms like and how long did you have them before you got diagnosed?

I’m young and don’t go to the doctor as often as I should. I sometimes wonder if I had cancer if I wouldn’t find out til it’s too late. What’s your advice to young people on cancer awareness and general importance of monitoring health?

Ttrebble0cS3 karma

The first time around (when it was in my arm) I had noticed a numbness/ loss of function in my hand. With my re diagnosis i had breathing problems as it ad spread and was growing in my lungs. My advice is get anything unusual checked out.

babar772 karma

What symptom made you check for cancer?

Ttrebble0cS3 karma

I was having difficulty breathing, I had been given the all clear but unfortunately the precancerous cells had entered my lung and caused a build u of fluid.

TheAmbitiousBaker1 karma

What is your favourite food?

Ttrebble0cS3 karma

Tandoori style curry.

RollsRoyceRICKY1 karma

What about your sex drive? Does chemo and everything just kill it?

I just gotta say FUCK CANCER and you will be in my prayers everyday. I love how you’ve been handling it, much love!

Ttrebble0cS1 karma

Dead as a dodo

TurboEntabulator1 karma

Have you taken any peptides?

Ttrebble0cS1 karma

I haven't

simma_lungt1 karma

How often does your oncologist follow up with blood work and scans the to check for any relapse? Do you feel it is frequent enough? If it does show signs of returning have you been advised of any new chemo or radiation regiment?

Ttrebble0cS1 karma

During chemo i had blood taken ever week but now that i'm out its less often.

Ginkel-7 karma

I'm not sure if you've ever been to /r/ChoosingBeggars but the general gist is that everyone who wants something for cheap or free has cancer. It's actually a running joke over there. So I guess what I'm asking is, ever use your cancer to get laid?

Ttrebble0cS11 karma

No and anyway chemo would cause........ Issues

Rkenne16-8 karma

Have there been any advantages to having cancer?

Ttrebble0cS5 karma

Not really, I did get the travel to a concert covered by a make a wish type charity which was good.

Priest_Malazaa-13 karma

Where did you learn to spell?

Ttrebble0cS10 karma

You talking about writing loosing instead of losing? Sorry bout that.

BelladonnaSabina-14 karma

Have you tried full Extract Cannabis Oil? I know several people that are in remission from stage 4 cancers.

Ttrebble0cS3 karma

It's illegal in the UK unfortunately and CBD didn't help.

BelladonnaSabina2 karma

Yeah you definitely need the THC and not just CBD. This is so frustrating. It's a damn plant! Make it legal!

Ttrebble0cS5 karma

People are definitely interested in it becoming legal but every time it's up for debate the lack of research is the killer.

LondonAppDev-19 karma

Have you heard of, or considered the Ketogenic diet (used in conjunction with traditional medicine)? I've read a few studies on it, and although it's certainly not considered a "cure", studies suggest it may help the chances (I am not a doctor or medical professional). I first heard of it on the Joe Rogan podcast with Dom D'agostino (1167) and I'm always curious to hear real stories of anyone actually tried it for cancer treatment.

Sorry to hear about your situation and I really hope you do eventually win the battle. Must be very difficult but try and stay strong and never give us hope!

Ttrebble0cS6 karma

Thanks. I've not heard about the ketogenic diet before.