Former bank robber here. AMA!

Aside from your freedom and robbing banks, what's the one thing you missed the most about the outside while you were in the clink?

Hugs

Over the course of your entire “career,” how much did you make?

Not very much. Probably like five figures.

At that point I feel like it's just easier to work for the bank lol

Motherfucker, that's called a job!

I recognize this.

Hilarious.

Is there a bond between bank robbers in prison? Like do you guys swap stories and become friendly because you're in for the same thing?

Oddly, yes.

I imagine it's no different than people who've played the same sport or can play the same musical instrument.

Follow up, did anyone give you a hard-time for turning yourself in or maybe a bit more respect?

Nah, mostly just intrigued.

What “rules” did you have about engagement during robberies? Presence of kids? Violence?

No violence.

Just walked in and acted as a regular customer. When it was my turn, I handed the teller a note saying to give me their $50s and $100s. I typically clarified that I didn't have a weapon or any intention of hurting them.

What movie do you think is a realistic heist movie ? I mean from planning to execution to aftermath.

I don't think any of them are very realistic. Hollywood doesn't really do realism all too well. It's like asking which porn is the most realistic. By default, the professional movies are all a bit fantasy.

If I had to pick, I'd say Office Space is probably the most realistic.

Are there any strange / weird moments that stood out to you during your robberies? Like, things you remember but aren't sure why. Maybe the exact outfit a customer was wearing or something.

While waiting in line during the first robbery I did, there was a girl standing in front of me.

She had a great butt.

Somewhere out there is a girl who doesn’t know that a bank robber complimented(?) her butt.

With better social skills, I might have introduced myself to her and skipped the whole robbery altogether even.

I would love to know how that convo would go: her "what brings you to the bank today?" OP " was looking to make a withdrawal but now thinking about making a deposit"

That's crass...and probably ineffective at best.

But what do I know? I'm still single.

must be a pretty good butt that you mentioned it twice. Once for each buttcheek.

Ha, I don't remember mentioning it before, but yeah...

At what point did you have the thought, "I might have fucked up..."?

I've never quite fully felt that way, frankly.

What was the closest call for you, where you actually got away with whatever you were doing?

Probably the last one. The lady/teller kinda freaked out and started screaming to lock the doors. It was a tad stressful to say the least, but I managed to just turn around and walk out as though nothing were happening.

They did lock the doors, but it was just after I'd walked out. I don't think the intent was to trap me there, so it's not like I "barely got away" in that sense. But it was still way too close for comfort.

That was the end of it for me.

Was there any backup plan for it you were locked in? Or would you resign yourself to your fate

I did have a small ball peen hammer just under my pants (i.e., below the knee...not making a dick joke there). Worst case scenario, I could have tried to beat my way out. I have no idea of that would've worked, but there would have been an attempt.

How did the other prisoners treat you when they heard you are a bank robber?

There's a weird level of respect that the guys inside have for bank robbers. I don't know why, but that's just the way it is. They're fascinated with it just like anyone else.

Crazy Story, what was going on in your head when you were robbing banks? Was it a huge adrenaline rush, were you scared, nervous, I would like to know what goes on when you commit a crime like that? Thanks

It felt a bit like riding a roller coaster. There's a sense of danger, but ultimately, it was safe enough to check out. It's obviously riskier than riding a roller coaster, but that's the best analogy I can make.

It was crazy, and it was scary. But to some, that's what makes life fun.

How difficult is it really to rob a bank and get away with it? Who organizes the whole operation??

Not very.

The only person involved, if they're smart.

Right, you don’t often hear about the people that got away with it in the long-term.

My favorite one was the dude dressed as Santa robbing a bank in SF during Santa Con. I never did hear if he got caught, which is usually a sign that he got away with it.

This is my favorite bank robbery story: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Curcio

TL;DR guy posts a construction job on Craigslist and tells people to bring a yellow vest, blue shirt, respirator mask and safety goggles. A crowd of dudes show up while he robs a bank, dressed in that exact outfit. He slid away in an innertube down a creek and floated away to his getaway car

...and caught because a homeless guy saw him, if I recall correctly.

If I drove say 800 miles away from where I live to a city 2 states away. And I only robbed one bank. What are the odds I would get caught?

I'd rather deal in percentages than odds. Ratios have always bothered me a bit.

Officially, I'd estimate a 60% failure rate for the scenario you've described. Don't do it.

(E1: I like your username.)

(E2: Check the comment chain below for the exact reason I avoid odds. In actuality, I know wtf I'm talking...whether it be odds, fractions, or percentages. I was just making a joke.)

Being rejected by Amazon after being recruited by Amazon

I get the feeling you want to talk about this. What happened with Amazon?

I'm betting he applied, got through the interview process, went for the background check, and the hiring process ended there.

But that's just a swag.

Pretty much.

Got through to orientation and all that stuff. They called a few days before my first day and basically said never mind.

The most annoying part was that I spoke openly at every step (from the recruiter to the person who interviewed me and then the person who led orientation) about my criminal history and asked if I was wasting my time.

Amazon will still sell my book. I just can't work at the place that ships it to you.

So now that you've been out of incarceration, what are you doing for a job and finding a way to make ends meet? Does being a former convict and listed as a bank robber deter you from certain jobs and all that as well?

I worked the first job I could get after first getting out. I worked there (production related work) for just over a year before getting a job in the oil and gas industry. I worked there for a few years and then got out because of an injury.

There are definitely certain jobs I can't do these days because of my past. For example, bank teller is probably out of the question. The law doesn't provide for discriminating against ex-cons, but most corporations still do exactly that.

For the records, I support a company's right to not hire someone based on their past. I actually wish the laws were a little different there because there's just a shit ton of wasted time going into looking for a job because you think things are fair when they're really not. I'd much rather a company be able to proudly boast "heyyyyy, keep your former criminal ass away from us" because I would do exactly that and look for the former-felony friendly companies instead.

What types of prisoners were treated the best and worst by fellow inmates and prison guards?

Worst = sex offenders

Best = everybody else

I've heard some terrifying stories about what they do to more specifically rapists and pedophiles.

Sucks to suck.

Do you think the sentence fitted the crime?

No.

I think I got less time than I deserved. I'm forever grateful that the judge had something better in mind for me. I've never spoken with him or heard his point of view in detail, but I definitely don't think I got what I deserved.

In hindsight, it worked out for the better. Maybe I'm wrong about how many years I "deserved" or whatever. But I still feel like I got a shit ton of mercy in all of that.

Have you ever considered doing a podcast? Especially since your book says you have a life long best friend that grew up to be a cop. I can just see this story line of an ex bank robber and an ex cop, neither of who see eye to eye with societal norms of what they’re expected to be like, being something that people couldn’t turn off. Especially if both you guys are funny. Something to think about. I mean I’d subscribe.

Yes.

And that friend wants to d...

LOL, I just realized who that was. You fucking idiot.

Now I want to listen to it... Has the podcast got a name yet?

No, that's my best friend. He's been wanting to do a podcast for a while now.

WE NEED THIS

If you've got the money, I've got the time.

What's the biggest thing entertainment gets wrong about bank robbing?

How much money you get.

I'm not fully read up on your story- but was your history of crime gradual in smaller offenses or did you go directly to the bank robbery?

What could those around have done to prevent this path?

The worst crime I'd ever committed prior to the bank stuff was probably stealing candy from a store as a child.

There was an incident in my mid 20's where I filed a fraudulent police reports saying that someone had stolen my identity, but I don't know how illegal it was since I was pretty vague about the whole thing.

Good question. I wish I had something more interesting to say about it.

Jumping from stealing candy to robbing banks seems like a rather large leap. Was this out of desperation and/or circumstances?

What's your favorite candy?

Why did you tile the fraudulent reports in the first place? And did you get caught?

My mom had a certificate of deposit at the bank that was also in my name. I withdrew the money when it matured and then tried to denied it was me. The surveillance showed otherwise, but the quality was bad enough that I don't think they could tell it was me. Maybe they could...I don't know.

At any rate, I denied it was me. And part of that official denial was going to the police and participating in their paperwork.

So you took money from a bank, and claimed it wasn't you. Your pre-bank-robbery crime is actually bank robbery.

Well when you put it like that...

I am satisfied with this answer and also this AMA

I am satisfied with this comment and also your username.

Did they give the money back?

I was the one who stole it.

What was your favorite bank to rob?

Chase

why?

That's not as easy of a question to answer.

It's probably just a familiarity thing. I also prefer Chevy to Ford, but that's only because my dad drove Chevy trucks most of my childhood. I was really confused when he got a Ford later in life. I don't really know what to think now. My gut says Chevy, but my brain says it doesn't matter. If anything, Ford should probably be my preference.

But who knows? Chase it is.

Is life possible after prison?

Outside of just starting your own business is there anywhere that is willing to take in a felon at a reasonable pay?

Whats the best practice for dodging cops and staying low?

There are lots of blue collar jobs worth taking. Learning a trade is your best bet though, I think.

The best practice for dodging cops is to not try and dodge cops. They're there, and they're not going anywhere. Just keep your nose clean and wear your seatbelt.

Hello clay!

I've got a few questions for you.

How difficult is it to get contraband in prison? How do you get it in? Did the prison system succeed in helping you change your ways?

And finally is it true that Baskin Robbins always finds out?

Wish you all the best with your days ahead!

As long as there are prison guards, it will be easy to get contraband into prison. They've got the market on that shit.

The prison system is trash. It doesn't work.

First rule of Baskin Robbins is.........never mind, wrong joke.

Thanks!

As long as there are prison guards, it will be easy to get contraband into prison. They've got the market on that shit.

Isn't that just plain corruption?

Yes, that's exactly what it is.

Welcome to the American prison system.

How did you stay in the 9th grade for 3 years?

I didn't do the work, so I didn't earn the credit.

For all of my life prior to that, the school always passed me because they knew I was smart enough for the next grade even though I never did any work to prove it.

But in high school, you actually have to earn it...which I didn't.

Why did you turn yourself in?

He mentioned it either earlier in this or another AMA.

Became a father, quit robbing, wanted to do his time while his baby was a baby instead of him being caught and incarcerated down the road when baby grew up

Saved me some typing, thanks.

This is accurate.

How did you get into bank robbing?

Mostly, it was just a matter of curiosity (and probably a good dose of being in poor mental health).

Why did you opt for bank robbery over just a bunch of smaller, easier robberies?

To me, the bank robberies were smaller, easier robberies.

I was going to ask a similar question earlier and second guessed myself. You say that you averaged around 5k for a bank, but I've worked convenience stores that would have 3 or 4k easily accessible between registers and pouches for making change (granted these places sold lotto and liquor so it was more than, say, a 7/11). Were banks just the first thing that came to mind? Seems like somewhere without security measures like alarms and remote lock doors would be a safer bet?

Though you also said in a previous AMA that you don't like the idea of robbing an individual (e.g. small business owner) so I may have just answered my own question.

Banks don't fight back.

Everybody else does.

What is the craziest thing about prison life that you haven’t seen depicted in movies/tv?

There's really nobody to talk to when you have a bad day or get bad news. In prison, everyone is having the worst day of their life. Nobody gives a shit about yours.

Are the prisons really divided in to racial groups? Were you coerced in to aligning with a certain group?

Yes.

And yes. I'm white, so I mostly lived with whites.

But the thing is, racial segregation in prison isn't even a bad thing. Nobody gets butthurt about it. It's just how it is. I could play chess with non-whites or go watch BET in the black TV room or whatever else. It wasn't a literal "don't associate with people who aren't your kind" kind of thing. It was more of a "be with what you are" kind of thing.

Hope that makes sense.

How did the romantic relationships go? Do you think it was hard to get to know new people if you go with your open face telling the truth from the beginning, or in the opposite, you think that kinda “bad-guy” is something women like about you?

I'm unlikable for reasons far above the criminal history. Lol.

Do you think in this day and age that someone could get away clean if they had to rob a bank.

It's not impossible, but it's also one of the worst ways to make an easy buck. The risk/reward is very much out of balance.

What was prison actually like? Is that where you got your tattoos?

Nah, I got all my tattoos before prison.

How did fellow inmates treat you when they learned you turned yourself in as opposed to people they get caught?

Do rapes really happen often in prison?

They were intrigued and a bit tripped out most of the time. It's really not too different than the reactions here.

And no, they don't. They do happen, but not at the rate people tend to think.

What really happens when you drop the soap in prison?

Not rape.

Dropping the soap actually means that bar of soap is filthy and unusable, so you have to buy a new bar.

Hi there,

I just found out that my brother is going to jail for 9 months at the end of June. He’s for the most part a very clean cut guy, he just made a couple of very stupid choices. I’m afraid that he’s, well, going to get punked quite easily.

Got any advice for him?

Other dude is giving you good info on this.

Only thing I would add is that he just needs to be himself instead of trying to portray what he thinks he should be.

Did you meet prison Mike?

The Tormentor?

I probably remembered that wrong. Oh well.

Which of your 3 freshman years was your favorite?

I hated them all equally.

Can you tell me how easy it is to rob banks, and why you failed miserably and got caught?

In detail. I don't want to make the same mistakes!

Yes I can. No I won't. I'm not here to mentor future knuckleheads.

I didn't fail miserably or get caught. I did my thing and then turned my self in months after I was finished.

As for you, you've already made the biggest mistake of all (i.e., posting publicly about it and talking to others).

Do you think if you hadn’t turned yourself in you would’ve been caught? I can definitely see how it looks good to a judge, I’m just wondering if you could’ve lived quietly as a private citizen after.

No, I don't think I would've been caught.

I'm not saying it would've been impossible, but the deck is stacked against law enforcement on stuff like this unless the criminal is an idiot or an addict or something else like that.

Did you ever run into dye packs ruining the money you stole?

No.

You know, for someone who wrote a book, you're not being very encouraging to the next generation of up-and-coming professionals.

Good.

Is there part of you that looks back and feels good about any aspect of what you did?

Good?

No.

What is the thing you have done in your life that has made you the happiest? Even the smallest thing?

(Edit: answer = close enough)

Tough question.

Probably chips and queso from Chili's.

Hello. Is it true that the worst thing in prison is the dementors?

No.

The worst thing in prison is the lack of hugs. You forget how important those tiny little things we take for granted really are.

Prison taught me a lot of things, but above everything else, it taught me the value of a hug.

What’s your favorite cereal?

Fruity Pebbles

I’m very curious:

1. How long did you end up being in jail?
2. How different did the world feel after you came out? Like new technology and other things that were common to friend and family but not to you. Or were you able to keep up with news and stuff?

Thanks!!

Three years, three months, and 10 days.

It was overwhelming how different things were, especially because I was always ahead of the game with technology. Remind me later, and I will share a story about this from my book when I have a chance to look it up.

Edit: Finally getting around to sharing the story. It's a copy/paste directly from my book, so it's a bit wordier than a standard comment. Here you go!

---

August 31, 2010:

Just a few minutes before being released from prison, I was given a $50 check and a voucher for a bus ride to anywhere in Texas. The rest was up to me.

The day I got out of prison was beautiful. The August heat in Texas is usually pretty unbearable for most, but I didn’t even feel it. The sky was clear, and the birds were happy to see me. I knew so because they were singing a song just for me. I walked across the street and cashed my $50 check with my prison ID and bought my favorite soft drink—Tahitian Treat—and a pack of bubble gum.

Man, I really missed bubble gum!

The person picking me up was from the entrepreneurship program I’d graduated from on the inside. His name was Pat, and I’d never met him before. All I knew was that he was a really big dude driving a little tiny Scion, so I didn’t think I’d have a problem finding him.

There was a park just across the street from the front door of the prison, and they had picnic benches and a pavilion and plenty of other places for people to sit and wait for their loved ones who were soon to be released from prison. I didn’t have anyone there just yet, so I decided to sit at one of the picnic benches and enjoy my Tahitian Treat and bubble gum in solitude until I saw Pat.

After a few minutes, a lady old enough to be my grandmother came over and sat across from me. The prison gave me regular clothes, and this old lady didn’t realize that she was sitting across from a violent offender, as my paperwork had described me. I felt a little bad for how naïve she was for sitting next to me. I wasn’t going to do anything to hurt her, of course, but I thought she’d be scared out of her mind if she knew who I was or what I’d done.

I hadn’t been out of prison a full hour, but I was already within arm’s reach of a normal person. She was perpendicular to me. She was sitting sideways facing the prison and using the table as an arm rest. I was facing the side of her head. It was weird. But it got even weirder when she spoke to me.

Without really looking at me, she asked, “Get out today?”

“Excuse me?” I heard her words clearly, but I was sure I’d misunderstood her question.

She chuckled and looked over at me, enunciating clearly to prove a point. “I said did you get out today.”

I smiled and replied, “It’s that obvious, huh?”

She hadn’t offended me. She was a sweet old woman who just wanted to make me feel comfortable in a world where I obviously hadn’t existed for quite a while, but it made me a little anxious that she could so easily tell that I’d just gotten out of prison. Thankfully, she obliged and answered the very question I was wondering. She held up her iPhone and said, “You’re not playing on your phone. The only people who sit here without a phone are people who just got out.”

She made a good point, and the humor was not lost on me. I was impressed by her observation, but I was mostly just happy to be having a conversation with someone who wasn’t an inmate or a guard. It was nice, and I savored every second of it. It was also quite reminiscent of the old man who had sat next to me on the bus back to Texas the day I had turned myself in. She turned back to face the prison and went on to tell me that she was picking up her son. Again. This was his third time to prison, so she knew the routine pretty well by now. Without looking at me, she offered a quick piece of advice that was both unsolicited and completely welcome. “Now you stay away from this place, young man. This ain’t the way to be.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I agreed and smiled along with her. She was mostly just making friendly chitchat, and I enjoyed it. After a few minutes of this, the conversation trailed off and we were left sitting there—her facing the prison and me facing the Nutritional Facts on my Tahitian Treat bottle. I’d never realized how much sugar was in those things. Then again, it probably wouldn’t have mattered. Besides, my bubble gum was sugar free, so it probably all evened out anyway.

The old lady caught me daydreaming and interrupted by saying, “Would you like to call somebody?”

The thought had never crossed my mind a few minutes earlier when she’d mentioned me not having a phone and showing me hers. I wasn’t worried about Pat. I knew he’d get there soon enough, and if I only had the chance to make one phone call, I’d preferred to call my mother anyway. “Yes, please. I live in Dallas though. Is that going to be long distance?”

“Oh, honey, you’ve been gone a while, huh? Long distance is free on these things.” And with a friendly cackle, she took out her phone again and asked, “Who do you wanna call?”

“My mother, if that’s okay.”

She handed me her iPhone and said, “Sure thing. Go right ahead.”

The iPhone came out in July of 2007, but I was arrested in May of 2007. I had only seen them on TV and in magazines. I’d never held one, and I definitely didn’t know how to operate them. Before I had gone to jail, phones still had buttons. But this thing was little more than a rectangular piece of glass.

Almost immediately, she realized her mistake and held out her hand to take the phone back. “Here, I’ll dial it for you. What’s her number?”

For the first time in well over three years, I was able to talk to my mother without being preempted every five minutes by a recording reminding both of us that This call has been placed from a correctional institution. When my mom answered the phone, I was all smiles.

“Hey, mom!”

“Hey, son!”

Just another reminder that I was free.

How did your wife/family/friends react to you turning yourself in?

I don't know. I was in jail.

Happy cake day!

My question for you: how do you feel about how bank robberies are typically shown in movies and tv shows compared to how they are in real life? Are there any that come to mind that you feel are much more realistic than others?

Thanks for doing this AMA!

Hollywood is to bank robbery as porn is to sex.

I work for a financial institution that uses a new type of layout. There is no traditional teller line. When a customer walks in the door, we meet them at the door and ask them how we can help them. We walk them from the door to the appropriate area. We ask their names, introduce ourselves, and shake their hands. As a former bank robber, would it have deterred you from robbing a bank if someone was coming into your space as soon as you entered the building?

Lol, hell yeah.

Clay!! I use your debt free scream every time we teach an FPU class!! You've inspired so many! Thank you for being open with your story. What a surprise to see you on my Reddit front page.

I guess my question is how is your life going financially since you made the update video in 2015? I'd love to be able to give a more recent update to everyone who's watching you and believing they can do it too.

Better than I deserve!

Haha, represent! Cut me some slack for the language I use here on reddit. I cleaned up quite a bit for DR. Of all the things I was most nervous about, I think dropping an F bomb was probably at the top of that list. Lol.

I love everything that DR is doing, and I can easily say that I wouldn't be who I am without his show and his teachings.

To answer your question, things are going just fine. Still debt free and can't imagine living any other way. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you want more detailed information. My inbox is a bit nutty at the moment, so give me some time. Or if you'd rather hit me up on Facebook, that's cool too. I'm easy to find.

Does your child know what you did or are they too young to understand?

My 12 y/o knows. He has my book and all that good stuff. We don't really talk about it, but I will if he ever gets curious and starts asking questions.

You mentioned autism - are you autistic / neurodivergent? Was robbing banks a special interest for you? Also, I'm autistic, represent!

I'm not autistic, no. I grew up in the 1980s, so they didn't have fancy words to describe people who weren't clearly mentally retarded (the term they used back then). They just beat the shit out of you and tried to force you into compliance.

I have autism in my family. Specifically, my son has autism, so we live it daily. It's just part of life here. It's not fun, and I wish I knew what caused it.

Also, I've never heard the term neurodivergent, so I'll have to check into that. At a glance, I'd say probably.

I studied criminology in college, so I hope you don't mind me asking about deterrence for selfish curiosity:

Were you aware of the potential consequences of Bank robbery as a federal offense? If you weren't, would you have still committed the crime had you known them?

I was aware of the potential consequences, but it was more of an intellectual awareness (i.e., I'm not an idiot, and I know basic cause/effect things).

I just didn't care.

Are you relying on the advice of counsel in not answering any questions?

Nah. I know what I can/can't say.

If you could go back in time and have another shot at robbing a bank would you do it?

I have a shot every day. I don't need to go back in time.

What is your favorite bank robbery movie?

What is the most accurate bank robbery movie? What did it get right?

What is the least accurate bank robbery movie? What did it get wrong?

I hope you like to watch bank robbery movies.

Point Break

Office Space. How terrifyingly simple it is to exploit minor things for major gains.

The Oceans franchise. How attractive everyone is and how well they get along.

I don't. I like documentaries and comedies.

How much $$ did you make from Bank Robbing? What happened to it and did you have to pay it back?

I don't know, but it wasn't enough to brag about.

And I paid it all back. That's part of being convicted. You have to pay restitution.

Do you get mad pussy telling girls you robbed banks?

No.