IamA 29 year old balding woman who wears wigs. (Severe Alopecia Areata)

How do the wigs hold up during day to day activities? Do they slip a lot? Do you ever wear them exercising?

It depends on the quality of the wig. Cheap costume/drag queen wigs are much different than wigs meant to be worn all day. Cheap wigs are uncomfortable, hot, and itch to the max. A real quality wig is expensive though ($500+), but it's worth it (I think). My wig that I wear on most days is $700, and that is cheap as far as "real" wigs are concerned.

I currently don't wear wigs when I work out (I work out five times a week). I wear a turban, but a local stylist has told me they can add some hair to my turban. I'm seriously considering it.

Edit: I wanted to put a disclaimer. I'm sure there are good wigs that don't cost so much. Actually, if there are, I would like to know how to find them. This is just my experience. I'm sure others posters would like the info, so please share what you know and your experience.

If you're looking for good quality wigs or pieces, try to go to an orthodox Jewish neighborhood, if you can. Especially a well-off one. I live in a neighborhood like that and all the salons have had to add wig-styling and hair pieces to survive. There are also several wig stores, and they do amazing work. There are some women walking around here with the most gorgeous hair, I'm so jealous. I know that a top-quality sheitel (wig) can be about $3,000 and up, but they'll have less expensive ones too. And they also do hats with fake hair coming out underneath for people that don't want to wear a full wig for everyday use.

Do traditional Orthodox Jewish women wear wigs?

Edit: I'm serious, I have never met an Orthodox Jewish person

When you talk about orthodox Jews, yes almost all of the married women wear a wig. Most other Jews do not tho.

Why do they wear wigs? Is there something about that demographic that makes the women go bald?

It's part of religious observance, they have hair they just aren't allowed to show it outside of the house, something about the hair being a woman's crowning glory and only her husband should see it.

So they cover their hair with different hair?

Nobody ever said religion has to make sense.

I'm so glad I don't have that religion problem..... .

(okay. no offense to anyone who is religious... I couldn't help myself...)

Do you think the new style of women with shaved heads has helped the acceptance of balding women at all?

In a way, yes. But, most of the women who shave and display it aren't' the ones who are balding. They are usually the ones who are trying to be "alt" or "stand out." And, their bald looks different than mine. I actually have smooth (no hair at all) skin showing, whereas "normal" people who have hair have visible hair under the skin.

When I walk around bald (and I've done it), people sometimes assume I'm trying to be "edgy." When I show people my DL (which is me bald...), I get asked if "it was a phase."

It would be nice if I could walk around bald without people assuming I'm trying to make an extreme fashion statement. I don't really like to stand out or draw attention to myself.

I find that really odd. When I shaved my head (initially as a fundraiser, then because I liked it) everyone assumed I had cancer. Strangers were much nicer to me, even if I did get a lot of stares. Maybe there are less 'edgy' women where I live, and more cancer patients?

People would sometimes assume I had cancer too. It was either cancer or some extreme style. And yes, people are usually nice (to my face).

I've got to say I've known some incredibly beautiful women with short/ clean cut looks and not to downplay Apolecia Areata but for something that does physically change your features I think you lucked out because you look great.

Edit: * Alopecia, thanks

Awe! Thank you. ::Blush!::

Sorry to hear that. I havent even heard of your condition until I was looking up male pattern baldness for my own reasons a year ago, alot of people probably dont even know its a thing

Not a lot of people do, and since many people hide it, people don't see it.

Sometimes I kind of get annoyed the fact that every time I go to a gas station or McDonalds and they have a "donate money to sick kids" can, it seems the child is always bald. Baldness has come to be known as the universal sign of sickness, and I kind of resent that.

As a man, everyone asked me if I was in the military. (I have minor alopecia that comes and goes.)

Wait you lose hair in specific parts and they come back?

Yeah. Bald spots about the size of a US Quarter will appear. 1 or 2 at a time. Then the hair will grow back within a year or so.

If they aren't noticeable, I ignore them. When they are unavoidable, I shave my whole head.

Same here. My spots were unfortunately a lot bigger, so I wouldn't have any choice but to shave the whole thing.

Did you have any triggers that led to the bald spots? Any time I was dealing with a lot of stress, I'd wake up and find large patches of hair just gone.

Stress definitely plays a role. I noticed I had my biggest loses during times of stress. I also think inflammation is a trigger. My biggest lost came after the flu, and I talked to my doctor about this. They say viruses seem to trigger autoimmune responses.

Oh man do I feel you, when I had lymphoma and lost my hair because chemo, people automatically just assumed I shaved my head even though I was full Prof. Xavier bald.

I actually had some people in college stop talking to me because they thought I was trying to be more """anime""". Granted I wore a pink wig but that was primarily because a) I already owed it from a costume and b) it was a $40 wig as opposed to a $400 wig. Plus I just wanted to have fun at that point.

Someone actually asked if I shaved my head to be like Britney Spears. I cannot imagine how many people must assume you have cancer.

Baldness needs to stop being the universal sign for sickness!

My friend's sister has alopecia and rocks full bald. She's a very normal housewife and mother in any other sense. She's not trying to "stand out" but she is embracing her condition and being an outspoken advocate for alopecia and feminine baldness in general.

That is beautiful! I am a school teacher, and I've gone to school without my wig before. I think women can be perfectly beautiful without.

When I show people my DL (which is me bald...), I get asked if "it was a phase."

I can't figure out what "my DL" means from context.

Drivers license

My sister is a type 1 diabetic and has had this same issue since she was 16. We have her go once a month to a hair club and they use a glueing process to put hair on her head for the month. Are you using a similar program or consumer wigs?

I am not using a program. I had my wigs custom made by local salons. I might try glue one day, but the process kind of creeps me out. I like being able to take mine off, especially to go to sleep. I was also told this helps wigs last longer.

Ah okay cool, is it pricier getting them custom made? I know the program is fairly expensive and I'm trying to find alternatives which could cut costs when she is not under my parents insurance anymore.

Most of those programs price gouge people (in my opinion)

I didn't realize there was so much ignorance about alopecia. I figured ppl knew what it was, even if it's rare, enough that it would at least enter their minds as a possibility.

People hide it a lot, so no one ever sees it. Also, a lot of people don't like to talk about it.

Agree. I buzz my head CLOSE on purpose (would shave it but don't want to itch), because I think it looks cute, but people are always asking me "what'd you do that for", assuming that I did it for a fund raiser or that I'm sick. I'm not sure about your "trying to be edgy" comment--I live in Iowa, though, so maybe it's just not a thing here--but people are always asking for personal details about my medical history.

Do you ever take the time to explain the truth to complete strangers? I feel like that would get exhausting.

One of the reasons I wear a wig is so I don't have to explain. When I rocked the bald (and I did for a while), I thought maybe I should wear a tshirt with my condition on it with "google it" underneath. It's mostly that I feel like a broken record because I've had to say the same thing over and over again.

Yeah but when you told them why you were really bald (if you did) I bet they felt pretty bad assuming that it was a "phase".

Sadly, I wish it were "just a phase."

I know I'm late to the party but you may still see this comment. There is a tattooing technique that some guys get if their hair is receding. It looks like shaved hair. It basically appears to move the hair line forward where it's disappearing. Would you consider that as an alternative for wig free days? I have thought about it myself but I bet it's expensive.

Hmm.... this sounds interesting! I did have someone henna my head once.

What's in your wig collection? How often do you change things up?

I have two real human hair wigs: shoulder-length brown with loose waves and a straight blonde long bob.

I have 10 synthetics with long blonde, short blonde, pink, firetruck red, long brown, short brown, etc. But, I usually alternate between my two human hair wigs because they're more comfortable.

how does one store a wig collection? if it were me, i would just throw them in the drawer below my socks. however, I cant get a picture of a room full of mannequin heads with wigs on them out of my head.

I have all kinds of mannequin heads in my closet and vanity. Also, a really funny way to play a joke on someone is to place a mannequin head in their window or somewhere they least expect.

Any images of those? Perhaps to see the difference between the cheap and expensive ones, if they are even distinguishable to someone who does not know what to look for.

Real human hair wigs look and feel very natural. Synthetic can be more scratchy and usually look "off"--too shiny or plastic. Some can pass for natural if they're made of very high quality plastics, but even so they will never be as "good" in terms of look or texture as real human hair. If she doesn't reply, Google Image search "human hair wig vs synthetic wig" and you'll see the difference. Cosplayers also have made videos and blog posts about the differences between the two.

Usually when hair looks too good to be true, it is.

That was going to be my question, whether you preferred keeping it samey to look consistent and normal, or if you had fun with being able to change up your look on the fly.

I don't mind changing it up. I don't change it at work because I'm a school teacher, and I like to be consistent for the kids.

Since you are into fitness, have you seen Kevin Bull on American Ninja Warrior? He's an amazing athlete with Alopecia. He does a lot to help kids with it and with his minor celebrity has been able to spread awareness.

I have not. Thank you for your recommendation!!!

what's the maintenance like? do you shampoo your wigs?

If I wear it every day, I wash it once a week. I put it on a mannequin head and wash it like regular hair.

You ever scare you're boyfriend by putting the mannequin head inside the hood of a jacket so you look like an alien with a huge neck?

no, but I SHOULD

Could we see some more pics of that cranium? I'm 29 and have regular male pattern baldness, soon it will be time for me to "come home" so I guess I want to see what exactly you are shaving off, for most bald people it's gotta look pretty patchy to give it the ol' chop, mines not quite there yet but soon I will be a classic baldy

I'll post pics later today (I'm in a place right now where I can't).

A good online friend of mine, who is coming up on 20, has lived with cancer since she was a teenager, and she's been worrying lately about losing her hair, but seemed to cheer up when I talked about my mother wearing wigs when she had cancer, and how wigs can look pretty good, but can you give any advice about how to pick out a good wig? Any hints or things to look out for?

If you want something good, you have to be willing to spend some $$$. I had mine custom made by a local salon, and that has made a lot of difference. I'd suggest finding a stylist who specializes in wigs. You can have your head measured and everything.

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Don't forget that everyone is struggling with their self image whether they are beautiful, bald, young or old. I once read this book called "This Book Will Make You Feel Beautiful," and it talks about how you're a full package. You are not your baldness or your chub or what... you are a full person and beauty is not just one thing, it's a multilayered thing.

1. Do you still have your eyebrows and eyelashes?
   
2. What about your bodyhair? Does that get patchy?
   
3. Have you tried squaric acid on your scalp? That worked for me.
   

I still have my eyebrows and lashes. Although, I noticed the corner of my right brow as started to thin out (which kinda freaked me out).

I lost body hair (arms, legs, etc). I hardly have to shave my legs anymore (I get some leg hairs, but not the full leg anymore).

And no, I will talk to my dermatologist about squaric acid. Thank you.

I hardly have to shave my legs anymore

Small blessings. :)

I also save lots of money in hair products, and it takes me 10 minutes to get ready ;-)

Are your wigs the same color as your natural hair color or do you have several different ones?

My favorite wig that I wear most often is very close to my natural hair (brown). Although, it's a darker brown than my natural hair. I also have a blonde (I had a local stylist dye the roots brown to look more natural) that I like to wear sometimes. I have several "cheap" synthetics with all kinds of colors.... dark brown, light brown, firetruck red, pink, etc.

What happened in the 7 years between the start of your hair loss and choosing to go totally shaved? Did you change the length of your hair to hide/adapt to the change?

My hair lose wasn't noticeable. Also, I fluctuated. Sometimes, I didn't have bald patches at all, but then they'd show up again. When I was 26, I lost so much that I couldn't hide it anymore.

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Some men care, but many don't.

Some people are attracted to you, and some aren't.

That's just life.

I've never had problems finding a date.

Can you feel the wind or someone sneaking up on you?

When I'm not wearing a wig, yes.

When I am wearing a wig, I hardly feel anything except occasionally hot or itchy. The quality of the wig affects the hot/itchy factor.

My daughter is 11 and she has alopecia. She starting losing her hair early this summer and in just 3 months it's all gone now. She wears headscarves to cover it when going out. She hasn't gotten a wig yet, and says she doesn't want one. Any tips for her on how to deal with it, or any tips for me as a parent on how to help her cope? If she changes her mind on the wig thing, any tips on how to choose or buy one?

There's a forum called alopeciaworld.com that I think you would really like. You have to be approved to join. (It's a closed community only for those who have been affected or know someone who has been affected by alopecia)

What's your hat game like?

I wear turbans, bandanas, headbands, etc.

Many years ago, I awoke to a lot of hair loss, areata, in circular patterns all over my body/head .. I used steroid cream and after 6 months it was fine...may I ask what things you have tried?

I've used creams and injections. What I find is that I get some regrowth, but then it falls out again. I'm always fluctuating. I almost had full re-growth last year in July after a series of injections only to be almost bald again by September.

I also have alopecia areata; steroid creams work reasonably well, steroid injections work better. Spots will generally start regrowing within a year without any treatment at all. Not sure if OP simply has a more severe case, but my understanding is that areata will clear within 12 months, while alopecia totalis may be permanent.

I've had severe case for 3 years

do you use a wig cap to secure the wig? i wear wigs occasionally but since I have hair, I am able to pin the cap and wig into my hair

A lot of people do wear caps, but I do not. I feel like the cap cuts off my circulation, but that just be me. I also don't have enough hair for it to matter (I'll post pictures soon).

No pictures of you showin' off your sweet wigs? Shame.

So are you open with people in person about your condition or is it more of an "if you don't need to know, I'm not going to tell you" thing?

I don't mind being open about it, but I also don't tell everyone. It is what it is. When I first had my condition, I would tell everyone who would listen. But, after a while, I realized it really wasn't that important. Plus, there's way more to me as a person than my condition. I don't want it to "define me" as a human.

I'll post pics of my wigs later.

Do you find that it makes it easier or harder to meet friends/dates? I know people can be assholes but I would think that kind of attitude would end in high school.

I don't think it affects me too much with dating and friends. People don't really care. Also, when you look at someone long enough, you get used to how they look.

What's your favorite wig like, and do you wear it regularly it just for special occasions?

My favorite is my long brown with loose waves. It's real human hair, and I love when I get compliments like, "I love your hair!" (People don't realize it's a wig until I tell them). One of the worst compliments you can get as a wig-wearer is "I love your wig!" And yes, I wear it all the time. I wear my blonde one when I'm feeling feisty.

I'm a 19 year old female and my hair has started thinning. I don't have health insurance right now, so I can't go to the doctor. Each time I google my symptoms, I get different results. My receding hairline is very noticeable at this point, and each time I brush my hair, handfuls of strands fall out. What was the beginning of your Alopecia like for you?

You should make an appt with a dermatologist. I know you don't have insurance and that really stinks.... I wish I had a better answer for you. And, it was rough. I flipped my shit the first time. Stress makes is worse though...

Did you purposely pick a bald boyfriend?

Not at all! But, that would be funny. I wonder if there are alopecia dating sites... there has to be! I've never used the internet to meet dates, though.

Have you tried any of the newer treatments? I have had severe AA since I was very little; I just shave.

When I was little I had cortisone shots and various creams but never really got anything from them.

I went to MD Anderson to discuss an experimental drug, but one of the side effects was possibly skin cancer. Since I'm perfectly healthy, risking skin cancer for (possibly) hair didn't make much sense.

How long did it take you to adjust to the fact that you would be bald?

I am asking because to me, a man who started to loss his at the age of 24(normal male pattern baldness), it took at least 5 years to finally come to terms with it.

I am not trying to draw any more than a superficial comparison between your situation and mine because I realize that Alopecia is way more severe than what I had to deal with and that hair for women is far more of a status symbol than it is for men. Then again it is precisely these differences that make me ask the question.

It took me a while and little perspective. Basically, you realize that there are more important things to worry about in life. I once wrote a blog called "attached to suffering." We can find ourselves addicted to our own suffering, but everyone in the whole world is suffering for one reason or another. You can let that define you, or you can move on and accept it.

Do you frequently switch between hair styles such as day by day or do you stay with a particular style till you get bored of it? Also you look great.

I switch styles when I'm going out, but I wear the same wig and basically same style to go to work.

Why do you wear a wig?

Have you ever gone for some time without one?

I think I look better in the wig. Plus, I want people to look at me and see a human, not a condition. I don't want my first impression to be that... I'd rather people notice my sense of humor, my pretty smile, etc.

I'm probably too late, but I suffer from this too, what did you do to get over it? I just ended up shaving my head but then I looked 'gangster'. I have a small spot right now but a few years ago I was nearly fully bald. The shots hurt so bad.

There is a quote by Robert Frost that says "The only way out is through." I think this can be applied to this situation. You can go around it, so you just have to go through it. You have no other choice but to learn to accept it.

Have you ever gotten a wig through any of charities which people donate hair to? I have donated hair before but heard some bad things about some organizations since then. Have you ever considered getting a badass head tattoo?

I have not, but I probably wouldn't qualify for a charity because I "make too much money." (I don't make a lot of money.. :P)

Do you ever surprise people when they see you with a completely different hairstyle without knowing that they are wigs?

All the time. It's funny.

I recently started dating a women who shaves her head (due to some medical reasons) and I'm very into it. No more hair in my face during cuddling is a big plus. I never thought about wigs before. Why did you start wearing wigs?

I think it helps me and it makes me feel more professional for my job.