IamA janitor at an adult store. I clean bodily fluids for a living AMA!

There are a lot of very innocent (naive?) questions in this AMA and I don't think OP makes it clear what's happening in the booths.

Adult video booths are commonly used by men to hook up with other men. Unless the management is very strict, guys will hang around looking for other guys to go into a booth with.

If there are glory holes between the booths, one guy will signal through the hole to the guy in the neighbouring booth inviting him to put his penis through. The first guy will then give him a blow job. They may take turns sucking and being sucked, or one will give head to the other. Sometimes, one of the men will bend over and get fucked through the glory hole.

Very occasionally, a couple will come in so that a man can watch his wife blow strangers. Or she can watch him.

Most of the men who use video booths and glory holes are men who act straight in their everyday lives. Gay men go to gay bars for their hookups - they don't need anonymity.

I hope this clears things up a bit.

I'm not sure how much I could say about them, but hell yeah thats basically what happens. Expect its like 99% male. Nothing wrong with that at all! But it does get uncomfortable.

What usually happens when a single woman comes in?

It's like those streets in countries that don't have streetlights and they have cars just taking turns and going and going

Now imagine being a 4000lb elephant with its legs cut off in the middle of that

Many, many years ago I worked at Mcdonalds, after a few weeks I couldn't stomach the thought of eating it ever again. Just being around the smell 50 hours a week was too much. Have you ever had the same response to masturbation?

Yes, actually. I use to masturbate twice a day. Now once every other day.

Wouldn't you think that had more to do with you growing out of your teens? (I don't know how old you are, but it seems probably you're in your twenties)

Twenties indeed.. and maybe? I hope that's the reason

As a jizz mopper is it true that cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away?

Yes. HUGE streaks. You need to scrub it with a sponge and then wipe with a towel.

What's the best way to get cum out of a fabric?

More cum. Kiddding. Run it through warm water and then cold water. Spray some pet piss cleaner on that bad boy.

I'm a janitor at a high school and lemme tell you, I've seen some shit (literally). I just want to say that I salute you.

My question is what war stories do you have for us? The tl;dr version of mine is a teacher I see on a regular basis walked into the women's bathroom before I cleaned it, took the most vial/girthiest shit I've ever encountered, clogged the toilet and called me in to show me and apologize. I can't look at her the same again. Im sure you have something equivalent.

I saw a four man train, fully naked, out eating ass and ass packin. I later went to clean and found shit all over the place with only one condom. One. That's one of the many stories. Also had a guy not all over himself and try to hug other arcade guests

Edit: first gold? Hell yeah. Was a throwaway, now I'll use it for stories

I can only hope that you're at least making good money doing what you do because after hearing that, suddenly my job doesn't seem so bad, and my job involves picking up shit. Human (sometimes animal) shit.

God bless

$11 isn't worth this. My felony record says otherwise

Shit im sorry man:(

It's alright. I just keep telling myself it'll be alright. I have the support of friends, girlfriend, and family. I'm lucky to have that.

What's the cheapest and also most expensive thing in your store?

Cheapest would be some condoms. Most expensive is the Fuck Me Silly toy doll.

Can you describe what makes this silly toy so expensive?

The material, the size, and the design. It sells too. It's basically just the lower half of a woman.

With respect, what the hell else kind of job were your parents lining you up for with a name like that? ;-)

A dentist :/

Do you regularly find toys or other intimate objects used in the bathrooms?

Mostly lube and poop condoms. Worst I have found is a wig ._.

poop condoms

I'll regret asking what that is, but what is that

A condom that has been used for anal, then shit inside of.

TIL that people poop inside of condoms after getting shagged in the a-hole.

Going back to sleep now. Will try again tomorrow.

It's okay, I've woken up every day for the past 7 months still trying to figure this one out

Oh for fuck's sake.

Take a record of who goes into which booth. If you find the asshole who does shit like that, ban 'em. I understand what happens in those booths, why they're there, all of that, but a god damn poop condom goes beyond acceptable limits. Make them do that shit in their own homes.

I know right? We do ban people for good. Someone wanked it in front of our, female, assistant manager. She was scarred. Someone groped me, he is now banned. Both situations were documented.

Some people even pee all over the booth.

What the fuck. I didn't know this stuff honestly happen at sex shops lmao.

Me either... idk man. I've seen too many things

Honestly never thought I'd add the word "poop condom" to my vocab. Thank you sir.

Hey no problem. Hopefully you aren't a visual learner.

[deleted]

Well, he kind of forced it upon her. Trapped her in a corner and said "WATCH ME NOOWW!!"

So let me get this straight. The condom was used to penetrate an anus and then was crapped into after the deed?! Why?! What are the mechanics of the situation?!

I am not sure about the mechanics. I just know that they didn't use gloves to home the condom. That's disgusting to think about

I want to be horrified, but I'm amazed by the dexterity it must take to achieve such a feat.

Edit: unless they're just shitting all over their hands and a little bit happens to end up in the condom. In which case, yes. I am sufficiently horrified.

Edit 2: why the fuck am I envisioning this?!?? Dammit Reddit.

You want horrified? Some guy sat in a condom and proceeded to yell FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK and then left.

Elaborate please.

I didn't get to all the booths for cleaning. This guy sits in booth 8 and sits on a used condom. Laughs were had

-_-

Same :/

How concerned are you about the possibility of contracting something contagious? What precautions do you take?

Incredibly concerned honestly. I wear gloves, a face mask, and almost every protective equipment I can get. The company will support any request I have in terms of safety equipment..

Not so much my safety from the people though lol

Have you ever made a mistake and gotten exposed? Did you need testing to be sure you were okay?

I have only gotten testing once, but the company will help me out with testing whenever I need it, i think?. Mistake.. hmm.. Maybe? I think one time my glove ripped and I didn't notice. I treat it like the worst injury ever and wash my hands for 30 minutes.

Where are you based? Have any of customers asked you out?

Can't say too much about where I am based. West coast.

And yes, three males from the arcade and a lot of females. I decline respectfully.

California ?

Mhm!

Secrets?

Nah

OPs mom ?

fk. ive been found out

Diamond?

Nope!

Do you know how much the average jizz mopper makes per hour?

Nope. I wish LOL

Are any of those fluids yours?

Nice try manager.

Edit: nah. Almost every inch of the floor is covered in someone else's gunk. I can't imagine wanting to wank it in there

Have you considered cutting down on mess by providing customers with a bucket .... or a box

To jizz into?

Some ideas are too wise for the simple minded men that jizz into the abyss.

I have, but I would have to build it and design it. I'm not a doctor, so the woodwork will be tough. I'll try it though!

the simple minded men that jizz into the abyss

Oh man, that had me rolling. This is a great AMA, you seem like a cool person.

Thanks man! I try to be calm and collected. These answers are as true as can be though lol

This ama is legendary.

If you had to pick something you learned for your future jobs, what would it be?

People change once they get what they want. I have had some nice conversations with the people that buy an arcade pass. But on the inside.. I never feel safe.

Does your name tag have the title "jizz mopper" on it? Also, I worked at a video store years ago. Do the rentals still come back sticky?

Confirmed, sticky indeed. Honestly, I'll probably ask to change it to jizzBgone on my last week of work.

So I've only been in one adult store in my life, it was very clean and well lit. Not shady in the least.

Can you describe how this happens and the process? Floor plan? I mean, I dunno, I guess I'm a square.

Your facility can't possibly condone this stuff? I mean, is this in the USA? Are there glory holes?

I have so many damn questions

It's attached to the store, and the door to the arcade is closed. Arcade being the place that I go to clean. The door is closed, and we have signs that tell people they can't do things of sexual nature.. but the doors are closed, ya know?

edit: the actual store front is really nice and normal.

I've been to a handful of sex shops and some shady strip clubs that had rooms you could use. These rooms had monitors you could rent movies on. Very tiny rooms, like a little bigger than a photo booth. Legally no sex acts were allowed to happen....legally. realistically tho......

Realistically.. lol. Yeah, I can't tell you how many times I hear slurpin'

So YOU'RE the guy who wipes down the loads?

It is I, load wiper. Not proud of it, but I'm good at it! Take THAT to my 5th grade talent show.

I'm so surprised by this, because all the sex shops I've visited have been clean and welcoming and never have a "back door area." Is the place you clean up attached to the store? Is it easy to get to or is it more hidden and you have to know what or who to ask?

It's easy to get to and well known. It's basically separated by a door, so it's attached to our store as if it were just an extension of our store

How much do you make?

Is it worth it?

How much longer will you do this? Any other career plans?

I make minimum wage. Well, .50 above minimum. so $11 Nope. Not much longer if I dont get more money. I want to be a web developer. :D

Get programming!, i've almost got a whole library of online guides, tutorials and learning paths that can teach you a lot. If you want some of it i'd love to help :)

(i teach web dev)

edit: whoa people, its not like i've got access to some super-secret educational materials, i've only got a collection of links and guides which i've gathered over the past 2-3 years. Unfortunately i cant use the material i've made for my school, as its the schools materials :)

I'll make a list and put it here with some small comments when its done, shouldnt be more than a day or so.

So, web development.

First i'd like to write a little.

People are going to recommend all sorts of frameworks, languages, libraries and so on, for you to begin with. Forget it, just forget it. Its a huge mess. The thing is with all that stuff, it requires you to do additional installs, downloads, all sorts of crap that will just confuse you, and you'll spend an hour installing stuff before you even begin making the first line of code.

Start out simple, make a small website with "hello world" on it, then go from there. Learn the HTML basics first, how to make tables, then divs, then master the HTML5 semantic. While doing that, begin making some basic stylesheets, change the text color, font, style. Then begin delving into float, inline, block, various types of ways to display the HTML elements.

Dont start using flex before you've mastered everythign else, it seems basic but some of it is really strange.

after you're well into HTML and CSS you can begin looking into either Boostrap or javascript, after javascript you can begin on jQuery, then the backend languages.

There is a ton of languages for backend programming, and everyone has their own favorite. Be it NodeJS, Ruby, PHP, Python, whatever. Dont pick the newest most hyped language on the market, it will be hard to find help, as there wont be a lot of users, and there'll be fewer companies using it. Sure some tech-startup might be using it, but most of the old-timers still run with the old languages. My recommendation is to start with PHP for backend, its easy, simple and straightforward.

Learn the backend language, what is the different between get and post, how do i use it to communicate with a database, how do i insert something into a table and so on. After you've mastered that you can begin looking into the more arcane languages, my reasoning for this, is that once you've learned one language, learning the rest of them comes pretty easily.

So, for resources: For learning basic HTML and CSS i'll recommend codecademy, i've had a lot of success with it in the past, and its fairly all-round.

https://www.codecademy.com/learn/all - start out with the guide named "learn HTML and CSS"

However, codecademy is pretty anal about how you write your code, i've had an issue as recently as today, where one of the "make a website" parts wouldnt complete because the student was using a high-dpi screen.

So make sure you write exactly what the guide tells you to write, all the way down to capital letters and commas, dont miss anything. If you've got any issues with the course there's a lot of help to get on google.

After doing codecademy, i'd like to refer to W3Schools own resources and tutorial for HTML and CSS:

http://www.w3schools.com/html/html_intro.asp

and

http://www.w3schools.com/html/exercise.asp

Then on to CSS, there was a bit of it on codecademy, but in case thats not enough, you can check out the w3schools CSS documentation, personally i think its easier to look through than the mozilla dev network.

Note: when using w3schools as a tutorial, write all of the "try it yourself" out as a file on your own computer, it might seem tempting to just read through it, but the knowledge wont stick, write it, get the excersize, its boring and you know what you'll end up with, but it works. for an editor i'll recommend brackets, its a free editor find it on http://brackets.io/ - there's a rather large plugin community as well, if you need additional functionality for the editor.

After having gone through these guides, try making a basic website, using a layout like this:

https://cdn.tutsplus.com/psd/uploads/legacy/001_WebDesignWeek/02_Layout/before.jpg

It should be doable with what you've learned so far. If you're able to make a layout like this, scour the web for similar designs and make them, its a lot of repetetive work, but its good excersize and gives a lot of routine in how to write HTML and CSS. Generally you want to find a lot of layouts, or make them yourself, and make them into websites, and make sure to save each website alone in a folder with its files in the same folder, so you can always go back and see how you made a certain piece of code, call it your own reference library or whatever ;)

Next up is bootstrap. Bootstrap will make everything you just learned seem like the hardest work you've ever done, its a breeze. All you have to do is modify the style a bit with your own classes and ID's and you're set with a pretty decent layout. However, dont go learn this before you learn regular CSS, as it requires some knowledge about CSS.

Things you want to read up on now is:

• CSS3 Animations (keyframes)
• CSS3 media queries http://www.w3schools.com/cssref/css3_pr_mediaquery.asp
• HTML5 Semantic http://www.w3schools.com/html/html5_semantic_elements.asp
• Flexbox and its use, this website has saved my ass quite often: https://css-tricks.com/snippets/css/a-guide-to-flexbox/
• Meta tags

Again, try making a website with these technologies, to see how they work and what they do, reading is not enough, write some code. If you get stuck ask for help, there's a lot of forums and communities who want to help you, here on reddit too :)

Next up is javascript, thats a bit more complex, codecademy has a decent course on javascript, though its not very related to web development, its a good course on how to learn the syntax.

Having learned the javascript syntax, go to w3schools, http://www.w3schools.com/js/default.asp, they've got a lot of resources on how it works and what you can do, go through each menu item, and write the code for yourself, see how it works, if you dont understand how it works, figure it out :)

After javascript you can try jQuery, this time though, i wont recommend codecademy, as the jQuery website has some good examples: http://try.jquery.com/

jQuery is a library (framework?) which makes web-development way easier, things like fading items in and out is 10-20 times easier using jquery than plain javascript.

So why didnt i recommend this to begin with?, well, starting out with jQuery means you wont understand how javascript works, and thats important, i think so at least. Same goes with all frameworks, in my opinion, learn the basic language first, then learn the library/framework, it gives you good understanding of the language, even though its a bit more difficult learning path.

In any case, google will be your best friend, so many people have had problems with web dev, and so many answers have been posted, you'll be able to find answers to most of your issues if you just google hard enough.

As for resources and guides, there's a collection of links. In it you'll find all sorts of guides, examples, tutorials and stuff i've found over a longer time period, there's some nice things among it: http://www.cssportal.com/css3-box-shadow-generator/

https://www.html5rocks.com/en/tutorials/masking/adobe/

http://www.blogohblog.com/cool-slider-css3-html/

https://css-tricks.com/snippets/css/css-box-shadow/ http://cssdesignpatterns.com/

https://www.smashingmagazine.com/2012/04/pure-css3-cycling-slideshow/#9

https://css-tricks.com/multiple-class-id-selectors/

http://www.mightymeta.co.uk/demos/fading-background-image/#

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/492809/when-to-use-img-vs-css-background-image

http://www.sketchingwithcss.com/samplechapter/cheatsheet.html

https://philipwalton.github.io/solved-by-flexbox/demos/sticky-footer/

http://cssdeck.com/labs/css-only-collapsible-menu

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/10063380/javascript-smooth-scroll-without-the-use-of-jquery

https://code.tutsplus.com/tutorials/the-30-css-selectors-you-must-memorize--net-16048

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_hNNAdyfQk&list=PLfdtiltiRHWF5Rhuk7k4UAU1_yLAZzhWc <- if you want to make a php oop login system

http://www.j6design.com.au/6-principles-of-design/ <- some light design reading

https://cssanimation.rocks/clocks/ <- in case you want to make a clock

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fju9ii8YsGs <- javascript for web tutorial, the guy has a LOT of good tutorials on various programming languages

That should be it, if you've got any short questions feel free to ask, i'm not too great with database architecture and such, but i'm fairly good at frontend programming.

I would love a guide or two! I am at a very basic point in my learning right now. I do like to set my mind to what I do, so if I can get my hands on a great guide, I will definitely learn a lot! Thanks!

I never even knew such things existed. I can 'kinda' get the idea of weirdos going in there to jack it, but couples, to fuck? Surely literally anywhere would be better than a jizz room.

Your company gives you every thing you need to defend against disease, what about the people who go in there to do their thing? Are they getting naked and just slopping around in the jizz sea?

I have only seen two couples go in. They both went in to fuck and I had to stand guard. T.T You would think its marvelous. But it's not. Most of them are indeed getting naked and just hangin around. They lean against the walls that have semen on them. They put their hands on every surface they can. And every surface has jizz.

I must be missing the part about how the sign says "no sexual acts" but then you hear slurping a lot. Is it not a couple? Are the patrons just going in and gloryholing each other?

Yup! I have seen many men just going at it. I walk in on them because I am supposed to clean as many booths as I can.. and welp, they just don't turn the booth on. So I walk in on a couple of naked dudes. Not fun..

That sounds like a shit job but if you're desensitising yourself to bodily fluids you could get into crime scene cleaning. Might pay more?

Ayy, I like that idea a lot. I'll look into that! Although I feel like scrubbing these potential babies will be different than scrubbing actual babies :(

Do u get little old ladies buying sex toys? Do they ask for advice?

I once had this elderly lady buy "The Great american challenge". It was interesting . In terms of advice, yeah! All the time!

So... Squirtle, Charmander, or Bulbasaur?

Charmander.

Think he's pretty tired of the squirtles

Ayyy lmao

Have the cops ever been called on this place?

Not since I've been there. I guess cops know about this spot though? It's an interesting place..

What sort of disposable gloves do you recommend?

http://www.staples.com/Ambitex-Disposable-Gloves-Vinyl-Extra-Large-Clear-Powder-Free-1-000-Carton/product_889128

How long have you been doing this?

7 months! I plan on quitting soon if I don't get a raise. I work for minimum right now. Minimum. Wage.

How can you clean up *** for 7.25 per hour?

I'm a felon in CA. :/

What was your felony?

Grand theft

Story time? Or would you rather not talk about it? I wouldn't know firsthand how you feel about this.

Will this ever be purged from your record, or will every employer ever know about it? (not from the US, sorry for not knowing)

The store I worked at lost thousands of dollars during inventory, a time where all Items need to be accounted for. I got blamed for the loss of items. I think it will get purged in 3 years if I get my lawyer to expunge it.

How is that legal? You said blamed, implying not your fault

They had more evidence against me than my lawyer could get to prove my innocence. They had me with footage of putting stuff in a bag ( for inventory) but they said i was takin it.

Try supplementing your income with Mturk when you are at home and on the internet doing fuck all. The r/beermoney subreddit helped me at a time I had no other way to make money and now I make $200/mo to supplement my meager income. If I aim for $5/day of just mindless shit for a few minutes here and there while I am already netflixing or browsing or reading, it isn't so bad.

Hmm.. I'll look into it. An extra $100 a month would help a lot..

Have you seen the movie Clerks? If so what was your reaction to the term jizz mopper?

I have not! Holy shit thats a great movie. I'll watch it tonight!

How old is the average booth user?

35-40

How'd you get the job?

I'm a felon, so it was the first job that actually called me back after I applied and called.

What's the most disgusting thing you've found?

Found isn't as bad as seen. I have found a whole toilet full of jizz and shit. It wasn't fun to clean.. Still, it didn't smell bad, I will admit

Edited for poem credit

This is the beginning of a poem. You need another line that rhymes with "shit".

I gotchu

Who's the guy you've seen in there who you'd think the least likely to frequent these kinds of shops?

This super rich guy that shows up with a corvette and buys poppers, google it. I caught him with three guys around him. He has a wife. He showed me

Have you ever thought about creating and marketing a cleaning product solely for the purpose of cleaning bodily fluids?

Not till just now. It could help improve the company as a whole.. I dig!

What is your favorite bodily fluid?

tears

Why have you not contacted Mike Rowe and Dirty Jobs yet?

I'm not sure honestly.. good idea? What's his info lol

How hard is it to remove dried jizz? Do you need a chisel?

BTW, after reading some answers, I wish you best of luck with web dev! It'll be one fun ride.

Sometimes you need a scraper, which is basically a chisel. It's a razer with a handle. But most of the times, especially when its on the walls, a simple sponge and some cleaning fluid does well. Gotta scrub, wipe, scrub, wipe in order to get it all off

Have you ever seen the... After results of any extreme fetish play?

So I've been to an adult store a few times for.... Reasons. I was always creeped out in the arcade and theater, but I did get off once or twice.

Probably the worst thing I've ever seen was when I had to piss and I walked into a stall where the toilet was literally covered in shit... Like it actually looked like someone had shat on the toilet and played with it with their hands like a toddler might do to a chocolate cake.

Like bro if you are into that, that's cool but do it at fucking home.

I think the shit condoms are all from one person with an extreme fetish

After doing this job, do you still eat mayonnaise?

Yes. Every bite is torture. Especially when you have a friend that says "jizz jizz jizz" to remind me lmao

What sort of bodily fluids do women leave behind ?

Pffft. Women don't enter on their own