IAmA stripper in a small, southern town. Ask me anything! [NSFW?]

The boys are saying they're gonna need more proof

Not me, definitely not me

But the others, they're complaining

Rigghttttt.

Are you worried about the zika virus?

Uhhhhh. No?

It is ask me ANYTHING.

I had a dream I had Zika symptoms, so thanks for that.

Do you like chicken salad?

I really don't.

Do you like Lasagna?

More than air. Call me Garfield.

I hate mondays.

I don't. The club is closed on Mondays. Free day off.

Have you ever dated someone you met while on the job?

Yes. It's a horrible idea for many reasons.

But I'm actually married now, so I don't associate with customers outside of the club anymore.

How did you meet your SO?

We met on Plenty of Fish two years ago, before I started dancing. We dated for a year, took a break for a couple of months, got back together and then made the extremely impulsive decision to get married. Luckily it was the best decision I've ever made.

Is your family supportive?

Yes, actually. Very. We often make jokes about it at the dinner table. No one was surprised, trust me.

Do you genuinely like it, or do you feel like it's just a crummy job?

I do. The money sucks quite often because of the area/clientele. I stick around because I love it.

What do you like most about it?

The girls I work with and the hours.

are there a lot of soldiers that come into the club's you work at?

Our clientele is 90% Marines, 10% beach bums.

Has anyone tried to smell you or rub your taint? Can they if they tip big enough? Good luck BTW!

If anyone touches me or puts their face that close to my crotch, they get a warning. After that, they get pain, and kicked out.

Ive never had a lap dance where the girl didnt let me touch or put either her ass or crotch in my face. What kinda strip club do you work at? I've been to clubs around the country...

A strict one. If girls around here allowed that they'd be fired. We have cameras EVERYWHERE and security doesn't fuck around.

When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A cosmetologist, which I'm working on. :]

All the best with that.

Thanks. Working on a business degree in hopes of someday owning my own salon as well.

Have you ever danced for a girl?

I just realized this date girl and not gift.

Yes. All the time.

I don't do anything for free. Does someone paying me on behalf of someone else count?

Eh, close enough :P But if a girl paid enough, would you dance for her? (Sorry, hardcore lesbian here :PP)

I dance for girls all the time! They're my fave. Smell good, soft, no throbbing erection.

... You may be in the wrong business if a throbbing erection bothers you

They don't bother me, but it's nice to not have one poking your ass for a change.

For some reason, I've had a lot of women ask me to take them to a strip club for their first time. Some places don't let single women in and it's an intimidating place to walk in blind.

Anyway, the dancers all seemed to love the women and take care of them. I always figured it was because they were nicer, asked different questions and were just a nice change of pace.

Don't forget they usually smell amazing.

Sorry if the question is lame, but you said the thing about smelling nice several times. Is it because usually men smell bad, or because women smell extraordinarily well?

A little of both. Don't get me wrong, men CAN smell good, but usually they just... Don't try I guess. Or maybe it's just because when men drink their body odor gets stronger? Is that a thing?

I've also noticed a lot of guys just don't wear deodorant. I don't mind a little BO. I don't expect every dude to smell like he's fresh out of the shower. But it's amazing how many men smell like they've been rolling around on the floor of a high school locker room for three days.

Is it true there is no sex in the Champaign room?

There isn't here. It's illegal, and they're very strict.

Oh, there's champagne in the champagne room, but you don't want champagne..

We don't even have champagne. Or a champagne room. I think that's just a term people use by default for more expensive dances.

What was your worst experience?

Having my nipple bitten to the point it was bleeding. I sat in the corner and cried for about an hour.

Also some guy grabbing me repeatedly and calling me a cunt. I slapped the shit out of that guy, though.

Also giving dances to barely-18 year olds is pretty horrible in general.

Holy shit I never thought of this. I just assumed y'all are all "awwwwwww he's a cute lil guy." But on further inspection I can see how that could feel weird.

I'm 26, and my sister turned 18 in May. On Saturday night I gave a lapdance to a kid who hadn't even been 18 for a full week. I felt very uncomfortable, but so long as everything legal, and his money is green, I stick by my motto. Morals don't pay my bills.

"morals don pay my bills." I am using this.

I have a shirt.

This is amazing.

Thanks. I had it made. Lol. I say it all the time.

What lipstick is that? I love it!

It's a stain by Smashbox, It's called Be Legendary in Bordeaux. It's on the pricey size but amazing.

Do you get your nipples bitten often, just not hard enough to bleed? I would think a guy sucking your tit would be frowned upon. At least at places I've gone it seems to be lol.

No. We're strictly no touching and I tell customers this as soon as we sit down. They get one warning, and then they get hit.

I actually live in NC and I've never been to a strip club before ever. How much does it actually cost like per dance?

Here it's $25 for each dance. $125 for 15 minutes, $200 for 30, etc. It just depends.

30 minutes seems like a really long time for a dance!? Doesn't it get kinda... tiresome?

Yes, but realistically most people are paying for our time and not the actual DANCING so there's a lot of switching and conversation, I'll rub their shoulders or play with their hair, etc. It's VERY rare I dance for more than 15 minutes if someone pays for a bigger time span, but I do what the customer asks of me. The overwhelming majority that are willing to spend that money are doing it because they want my time.

Is a dance one song? Because 5 songs is probably more than 15 minutes? Or is that in the private room?

It's one song, yes. 5 songs is just about 15 minutes given the club tries to keep songs at about 2 1/2-3 minutes.

How much longer do you think you'll work as a stripper/pole dancer? or where do you see yourself in about 5-10 years time?

I'm done as of October.

In 5-10 years I'll hopefully have both my cosmetology license and business degrees finished, and I'll likely have another kid or two.

As far as you know, what's the difference between stripping in a small southern town versus other places?

The money, 100%. I make enough to pay my bills but I'm not making city money. I probably average about $600 a week, sometimes more, where girls in cities are easily making that in one night.

Also the laws.

Any difference in clientele?

Hardly.

18-30y/o Marines and 50y/o beach townies.

What is your favorite article of clothing?

Oops. I meant to respond to this and accidentally posted it as a comment.

For work? I have pleather "corset" I wear on weekends that gives me a dominatrix feel.

Do you like green peppers?

Oh god yes.

I don't like them.

I mean I prefer them raw.

What's the craziest thing you ever saw happen in the dressing room?

Definitely a fight. The chick that got her ass beat DEFINITELY deserved it.

Also a girl got really drunk (which is illegal) and pee'd in a trash can.

This is why I'm glad I strip in New Orleans. I'm allowed to get drunk. It makes it easier to deal with the drama. I had a night recently where I was the last entertainer of the night and I was drunk enough to forget to strip.

I wouldn't want to drink at work. I'm way too pole heavy, I'd hurt myself. But also we don't have drama. We also don't have many girls.

There were SEVEN girls working Saturday with 100 people in the club. I was exhausted and sweaty and I still only made like $250. Lol.

What does "pole heavy" mean?

I do pole work/tricks as opposed to like, twerking/floor work.

Why is a girl getting drunk illegal?

It's just the law in NC. Strip clubs fall under the ALE (Alcohol Law Enforcement) laws and it can get a club shut down.

Huh, interesting, are other bar staff allowed to drink?

No way.

Want to start by saying you are pretty and I respect your honesty and activeness in the thread. I want to ask a question which may annoy you, but I do not ask out of wanting to make you feel bad. I am authentically curious.

Do you ever feel sleazy for being a stripper?

Nope. Never. I own it. I feel sexy, I feel confident, I feel stronger than I used to.

How much did you clear in your first year?

I make about as much in my profession as anyone else. About $30,000. Nothing impressive.

How many hours a week are you typically putting in?

About 34?

That purple carpet is amazing. Is it made specifically for strip clubs?

Also the last club I worked at had really awful carpet. It was sold to them by a bowling alley. Think tacky neon confetti.

Fun fact you may not know about those carpets, they are made that way for a couple reasons: it hides stains really well, and (more importantly) it's also to get you to draw your attention away from the floor. (in casinos they use it to get you to look at the slot machines/tables and ultimately spend more money)

That is a fun fact.

To be honest I have NO idea. The club was just bought out and remodeled a few months ago and they installed it throughout the club. It goes well with the purple Zebra print chairs.

Alright I have some girly questions...What's your favorite long lasting, durable make-up? And do you have any favorite lingerie/clubwear brands?

Yayyyyyy.

I replied to someone else last night - but I HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest Urban Decay's new All Nighter foundation. It has INCREDIBLE staying power for how light/matte it is. It's seriously amazing. It's full coverage but it doesn't feel like full coverage, ya know?

I stick to matte lippies because they tend to not budge. Specifically ColourPop and Kat Von D.

Mascara... I just started using It! Cosmetics Superhero and it's absolutely life changing. One coat is like four coats of any other brand I've tried.

A good staying liquid liner is Stila Stay All Day. It's a felt tipped pen that's easy to work with.

Remember a good setting spray is worth it alone - I prefer Make Up Forever but will use NYX in a pinch. Actually "I'll use NYX in a pinch" is my go to for ANY cosmetic product.

Most of our stuff is made by a local super old Filipino lady named Marie who has a store front of just stripper clothes and comes to the club to drop stuff off. I admire her so much. She was like, "This town needs a place for strippers to shop." and made that place. Pretty genius.

Do you rely on regulars?

I don't rely on them, but they're nice. I have one that comes in the weekend prior to the first and spends enough to cover my rent.

What does your husband think about your job?

He's generally supportive. Sometimes he hates it because of the hours, but he knows it's just a job and I'm loyal to him. He also knows that in general he's the only man in this town that doesn't disgust me so he's pretty cool.

You seem to hate your customers most of the time, why do you do it?

I hate the customers that treat us poorly - which is the overwhelming majority of customers. I have many customers that I love. Like, I'm even sending one of them a care package while he's deployed. But for every dude that comes in and is nice and respectful there are customers that come in and call us names and act physically aggressive.

I do it because I love dancing, I love my coworkers, and I love the hours.

So do the attractive customers get a more enthusiastic lap dance or is everyone treated the same?

I won't lie. I'm way more into it with attractive customers. BUT the main thing is smell. I can't tell you how many cute dudes smell AWFUL. I'd much rather give a dance to an unattractive man that smells good than a hot guy that smells like BO and trash.

Since i fix trash trucks for a living youre saying I should probably take a shower before hitting any clubs?

Please.

Do you have the southern accent? That would be my biggest draw, i melt for that.

Actually I'm from Boston originally, but I'm a military brat so I've moved a LOT and have no discernible accent.

Woohoo! Shoutout from Boston!

Our strip clubs in Mass are TERRIBLE, no contact, enforced with Nazi-like precision. I get my yearly fix down in Providence.

Do you feel @ home in NC? I know Military Brats don't quite have the same homesteading drive that most Townie types possess, but do you feel like you're "home" now?

No sir. Boston will ALWAYS be home, though the closest thing I've found that really made me say I could live here forever was Asheville, and that's because it's a pot-smoking, beer-loving, dog-friendly with a lot to do and also nature.

Also Mass clubs HAVE to be strict because they are full nude and full bar - that's not something common in most places. They're just trying to keep the girls safe.

Before you decided to first start stripping did you do any dance lessons or just decide one day to just get up on stage and let loose?

Nope, I can barely dance. Like if I try to go out dancing at the club I look like a freaking idiot. I just kinda winged it for a bit before another girl started teaching me pole tricks. I watch a lot of YouTube videos. I learned to clap my ass, pop it, and kinda... White girl twerk.

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Only when my husband buys one when he's in town to torture me.

Your husband comes in the club when you are working?

Very rarely. We live five hours away from each other right now so it's hard. When he comes to town on a weekend I have to work, my ability to see him is limited. He usually arrives on Fridays after I'm already at the club, so he'll swing by to say hi to me, but a couple dances from his favorite girls, tip, and then before he leaves he'll get one or two with me to torture me so I'm worked up later.

Wow. I don't know how I would feel as a guy watching my gf give dances to men or women. Or her knowing I have favorite girls besides her and receiving dances from them. I dont think it's wrong or anything I just don't think I could do that. Cheers to your love absent of jealousy!

Oh we have moments of jealousy but they're usually outside of the club. At the club I'm just doing a job, and he's just having fun. That's all it is. If he ever like, flirted with the girls I work with blatantly or contacted them alone outside of the club, then it'd be an issue. But in the club it's all fair.

What was the interview like?

"Can you dance?"

That's it. I mostly just signed a piece of paper saying I wouldn't be a dumbass.

Whats the main reason strippers have drama with each other?

We rarely have drama to be honest, we're like a family. The only issue is "cutthroating", where you steal a girl's customer out from under her. If a girl is with a customer, you don't talk to him. Plain and simple. As soon as you walk away they're fair game but if one is already with him, he's off limits. I cornered a girl coming on stage the other night for doing that to me and she was scared shitless:

Have you ever had a relative come into the club not knowing you worked there?

No. I'm not from here, so all of my family is in Boston aside from my parents and neither of them are strip club folks.

You ever have people come in who you are surprised to see even entering a strip club? (Ex. Pastors/Local officials?)

Not that I've seen or at least been aware of. I mentioned earlier, almost our entire clientele is just Marines.

Did you grow up in the same town you dance in? If so, have you ever had an old Teacher or Family Friend etc come in?

No. I grew up in Massachusetts and Arizona. The only people I really run into are my husband's buddies.

Have you ever gotten paid for anything sexual? Don't just mean in your current job, but at all. To me it seems the step from a lapdance, to, say, a hand job isn't that massive, and I'm sure you get "offered" to do it all the time?

If it were me, I'd be tempted to do it for some extra cash now and then.

I used to cam, and I've sold panties, but no. I have NOTHING against prostitution. I'm totally cool with it and if I were single and in a big city I'd totally escort. But there's no place for it in our club. So no. I do get solicited but I would never cheat on my husband. Most of the girls I work with are also married or in serious relationships.

Also when you start fucking around with customers outside of the club it fucks with your money in the club.

What does your routine consist of? Is it mostly acrobatics, more sensual-looking things, or does it vary?

Bonus: If you do acrobatics, how hard was it to learn?

It's a bit of all. It really depends on the crowd. I do a fair amount of pole tricks and some floor work. To be honest I'm not GREAT, I work with some girls who are fucking amazing and absolutely defy gravity. It is very hard, and it's really rough on your body long term.

Has a co-worker (or you) ever gone up to a man/customer/client and gave him her/your number?

I've given out my number, sure. I usually stick to Snapchat but with my main regulars they know how to contact me. I don't give it out willy nilly, only customers I've built a solid relationship with. I do not give it to them as a means of like, dating or anything, but only like a client sort of relationship. I even have a separate phone. I got two... Phones...

What do you mean by pretty strict laws?

Girls may not drink on the job, certainly no drugs. We MUST wear shoes with a 4" heel or higher at all times on the floor and stage. We have to change positions during dances every 20-30 seconds. We aren't to touch their penis at all, not even over clothes. They are not allowed to touch us anywhere for any reason.

Do you go fully nude during your routine, or do you wear things like pasties?

No pasties, but never nude. We have to have at least a regulation (inch wide minimum, doubly sided) thong on at all times.

I just watched the first episode of Legit. The main character wanted his friend's brother to get laid before he died a virgin. Has that every happened where you work? Or "through the grapevine" you heard it happening?

Nah, nothing like that. Although I can't say I wouldn't try to find SOMEONE to help the dude out if it were literally a life or death situation. Lol.

How do strippers in general feel about very young adults? (18ish)

I can't speak for every stripper, just myself and a select few girls I work with. I feel strange. I'm 26 and my sister is 18, so I always feel like I'm giving dances to high school kids.

On Saturday I got stuck giving a lapdance to a kid who had been 18 for not even a week. I felt very uncomfortable but he was respectful and his money is good so.

Is it anything like Roadhouse, or any other movie? Can you think of three ways/examples? Were there bets on how long it would be before a Patrick Swayze reference?

I honestly have never seen Roadhouse, but our clubs are nothing like anything in the movies.

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Beards? Being polite? Wearing deodarant?

Almost none of us get turned on. It's a job. We're pretty desensitized. If she seems super into it, she's just good at her job.

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They make wonderful saddles.

You close to a military base?

Two of them, actually. Three if you count like a 30 mile radius.