Girl with chronic kidney disease
So it has taken me a while to share my story, but I'm desperate. I know the internet might not be the best place to do, but this is my first step.
Back in 2012 I got diagnosed with Lupus. Initially I thought it was a joke, Lupus sounded like fake disease to me, but to my misfortune it is very real. To make the story short this condition started affecting my heart and kidneys. I can literally call the hospital my second home because I spend more time there than anything. I am swamped in debt with my medical bills because I am only 24 years old, no insurance, and I do not qualify for any federal aid. This bothered me initially, but oh well life is what it is, I work and go to school for engineering. All of this has crippled me, but I try my hardest to not let this destroy my life.
I cannot even begin to name all the medication I am currently on, but the one that I hate so much is Prednisone (steroids). I have been on extremely high doses and I cannot stop taking them because they are pretty much keeping me alive, but this past year this medication started destroying my body. I developed what they call "the moon face", I gained weight, and these horrible stretch marks started to take over. In addition to the Prednisone my doctor could not get me on dialysis due to financial situation and lack of insurance, so I gained 40 pounds of just fluid. I was not able to wear shoes and I quickly went from an extra small size to a XXL. I still didn't let this affect me as much, but the stretch marks got worse and that is what up to this day is killing me.
I know that is superficial, but I am disgusted with my body. I do not have enough money to get plastic surgery and I want to know if anyone out there knows of any other alternative treatment for these horrible marks. This is important for me because I want to be able to love myself in order to be well. I believe that a positive attitude towards life will keep me healthier than all the junk they've pumped me with. I have done chemotherapy for my kidneys and that was a huge failure. I am finally doing dialysis and it has taken some of the weight off, but I am marked for life with all these scars I've developed. I hate it. Life is just what it is. I used to be healthy, a somewhat attractive girl, and I had such a big desire to become something in this world, but that has changed. I still try to pursue everything I wanted despite being in the hospital like 90% of the time. I do not have any family around me, so I've dealt with all of this on my own and it has been extremely lonely, but at the end of the day I only have myself and I want to be happy with whom I am in every aspect.
I don't expect everyone to understand, but I am hoping that someone out there knows of some sort of solution besides plastic surgery for me to get rid of these marks and feel comfortable in my own skin once again. Please internet, help me.
I've included some pictures. They are not pretty.
EDIT: Thank you everyone for the kind words and advice. I'm linking a picture of what I used to look like and what I look like today.
So many people have suggested to create a GoFundMe account here is a link to it
Thank you so much for all the help and all the comments, I was definitely not expecting so much support from an online community. It's so nice to see the kindness of strangers. Thank you so much reddit. You guys are amazing and make me feel so much better knowing there is support out there <3