supernovastarblast

OP, I know (almost) exactly what you are going through! It is like reliving my lupus story all over again. (Feel free to look into my comment history, I have mentioned my lupus couple of times.)

I was diagnosed with lupus in 2008, specifically lupus nephritis. My kidneys were on the verge of shutting down and quick. A very painful biopsy found it and I was put on chemo right away. Just like your current situation, the chemo didn't work, until we tried something called IVIG, or IntraVenous ImmunoGlobin. The IVIG worked and the chemo was able to do it's job right after. I was thrown on some heavy duty chemo for 4 months, then tossed onto mycophenalate mofetil, aka the chemo pill. I had to stop that once I got my cardiomyopathy diagnosis in 2009, then I was switched to my current asshole immunosuppressant, azathioprine (brand name is imuran). Currently, my lupus is in remission, but I am always waiting on bated breath for it to return.

I totally feel for you about prednisone. It helps immensely, but the side effects suck disgusting, hairy balls. When I was on it, I swelled up in my legs, face, belly and even in my crotch. My face was fat and felt like water all the time. Even worse, I had to be "weaned" off of it because heaven forbid you get the horrible withdrawals. Honestly, I would have rather done that then be weaned off of it. I hate prednisone with a bloody passion, and anyone who has to deal with it on a regular basis, I feel my heart break for you.

I too have stretch marks. Mine are not as prominently featured as yours, but they are still there. I have them from my waist down, and I have a permenant water pocket on my left side, courtesy of the lupus and the biopsy.

OP, don't be scared of your stretch marks. Yes, they will glare at you every day, but think of them as your proof you continue to survive this ordeal. You were in a worse place before they arrived, they are your markers to incidicate how far you have come. I will admit I hate mine as well, but they serve as a reminder to never allow myself to get that sick again, to fight hard for my health, and to fight for you to receive treatments to see your lupus in remission.

If you need any support, have any questions on what to expect with your medicines, or just need to vent, you are always welcome to PM me. Don't even be shy to TMI me, OP. I have been on just about every blood pressure medication and diauretic pill you can think of.

My wish is for you to find the strength to keep fighting your lupus, the wisdom to gain from your experience for the future, and the courage to treat yourself kindly on days when nature will not. It helps to stay upbeat and happy, and on days you are not, embrace those, too. ♡

I was on that chemo treatment. I HATED Cytoxyn. It made me so sick that I was deliberately force fed my aunt's ginger cookies just to function. It did the job, but it was a miserable experience.