IamA Nigerian who witnessed the 2001 Jos riots and the Boko Haram insurgency AMA!

I watched the video you posted of the guy being burnt alive. What is the worst / most haunting thing you have seen?

Edit: Here's the video (SERIOUSLY NSFW) http://www.liveleak.com/view?comments=1&i=2b1_1340446689

When I was in boarding school, we had a female ex-soldier for a nurse. She ended up treating us kids like soldiers which led to the slow death of a friend of mine. He was a star athlete and stepped on a nail. I think he had tetanus. The nurse did not treat him well, she always hit him and yelled at him until one day his breathing became shallow and he started vomiting a black liquid from his mouth and nose.

20 minutes before that happened, I was going for an excursion (field trip) and I met him breathing hard in the room. He grabbed my arm as I walk passed him and said he couldn't breathe due to chest pain. I said he should not worry and slowly forced his hands off. I did not tell anyone what had happened only to hear people screaming and rush in to see him on the floor rolling and vomiting. He died on the way to the clinic.

Holy shit this makes me sad.

Did anything come of it? What did his family say?

The nurse was fired. Too little too late. The principal got chased out of the boys house by his crying gun wielding 60 year old father.

I dated a girl from Nigeria for a few years and her and her sister talked about One timers. Supposedly people being kidnapped and sold to Voodoo practitioners. Is this real? If so what do you know about it?

Yes. It's called one chance. You get on a bus and get your journey diverted to a remote area where you are used as sacrifice. Very real .

How do they choose people for this? How would you know if you have been chosen? What are your chances of surviving once chosen?

ennie minnie miny moe? If you were chosen, your bus ride would take an unual detour. I heard they charmed the occupants to sleep. Can't confirm that though. Your chances of surving are based on if the gods are full.

Damn. Did you know anybody who this happened to? Was it common?

No I did not. I did read some accounts in the paper though.

In your area what do you classify as a "normal" amount of crime? For instance where i live a murder or some robberies a week is normal. I ask since most people i know think/are told that area is full of crime.

I'd say its the same thing. But it does tend to go up during election season with assassination galore.

Do they ever catch any of the people doing the assassination, or do they just end up saying screw it there are to many?

We don't have the infrastructure for constant electricity mate talkless of any form of "Forensic science". All we can do is speculate. When the under paid police officers themselves are pawns of the politicians, who do you expect to catch the "criminals"?

So essentially a mafia state? I mean, is there a real distinction here between mafia-like behavior and what you see from the Nigerian "government"?

edit: I a word.

Nope, you're pretty much spot on.

Is this assassination of political leaders, local elections, or murders of supporters? Could you elaborate on why murder rates increase during the electoral process?

It's assassination of both. Political rivals send hitmen to eliminate the competition. They send thugs to the voting booths to monitor the ballots. It's a do or die affair and everyone knows the rules of the game. In the words of Frank from House of cards "it is either hunt or be hunted"

What do you think of 230 schoolgirls being abducted from schools recently?

It happens mate. Sad as it is. People are desperate.

I find the lack of media attention for this in the rest of the world surprising.. We are talking about more people than that went missing on MH370..and they're kids,for christ sake...

When something occurs constantly, it is no longer news.

Cool! Finally get to ask a question on an AMA.

Anyways, 1. Are you the guy who owes my friend 10 billion dollars?

1. For lack of better phrasing, what were the riots like?

1) That was my first cousin twice removed.

2) Constant state of alert. We would hear the gunshots all night. Screams. Explosions from locally made bombs. My father had Muslim friends who used to hear about plans of attack through the grape vines so we would keep moving from house to house. Most of the houses we stayed in were Muslim houses that hid us since the Muslims were on the offensive.

If your childhood wasn't that bad, did you grow up in a wealthier part of Nigeria? Or were acts of violence like the video you've posted normal for everyone, no matter the income?

I did not grow up in a wealthy part of Nigeria. But I did not grow up in abject poverty either. My parents were not rich but they never spared expenses in sending us to good schools. From a very young age, my mother made sure to buy me novels while my father would sit me on his lap and we'll read news papers together. That all changed when my little sister was born... O_O

so what happened when your sister was born?

Money probably got short

No. That little shit got all the attention. We are 4 kids.

So is she the youngest?

Yes she is. And the only girl too.

i once asked a gambian collegue (whose ethnicity is mandinka and religion muslim) about how people who were more into older religions were accepted in gambian society, and he said ppl were basically afraid of them and didn't mess with them. is that similar to how it is in nigeria?

People are very conservative in Nigeria and Africa as a whole. They fear (Juju/voodoo) and most of the early religions before colonialism were the African traditional religions so you have to understand there is still a subset of old people who grew up with such religions.

yeah i was wondering more about the relationship between ppl who are christian and muslim and people who are into voudoun. from an outside perspective it sort of feels like the tension between a smaller group of people who worship spirits or are polytheistic and a larger group that's part of a monotheist religion might cause the smaller group to sort of act out on the larger groups' superstition to appear dangerous and partly avoid persecution

The voodoo worshippers have fans in higher places. Most of the politicians are desperate men looking for any means to power and they resort to occultism. Many of the murders in Nigeria are linked to ritualistic sacrifices. Many times people have stumbled on corpse farms or mutilated corpses.

They're basically real life boogey men. I will say however that due to their secretive nature, there really is no public conflict between them and the other predominant mono theistic religions. If anything it's Christians vs Muslims while the loser gets his corpse desecrated by ritualists.

What's a corpse farm?

You rear captured humans with the rules of animal husbandry. You sacrifice them to the gods when you deem fit. Feast for all :)

I live in the UK. Why is it all the Nigerian guys I know seem to give themselves names like "Spider" and "Friday"?

Because it's cool. Would you fuck with a guy who names himself spider?

Do you currently still live in Nigeria?

Nope. Got outta dodge a couple of years back.

Do you ever have a desire to go back? Would you feel comfortable going back?

I do. It is home after all. If not for anything just the fact that the taxes are not so prevalent there than in the west here.

If I may ask, what country do you live in now?

Canada now.

Do your parents and siblings still live there?

If so, have they settled down well after being on the run during the main conflict, or are they uneasy and looking over their shoulders in case it all kicks off again?

If not, where do they live now, and do they feel safe there?

My family moved away from there recently.

Did you know anyone who was killed in the riots?

Yes. My neighbour's nanny died when she went back to her burning home and was searching for her husband.Her body was found and had been hacked with a machete.

Thanks for the AMA, what is modern society like in Nigeria? Are cities modern, is Nigeria still a third world country? thanks. - Ignorant American

We have very modern areas. But then around the modern areas we have moats of shitholes. You can only get there through the draw bridge of money.

What is one random act of selflessness that touched your heart the most?

A Muslim bus driver hid some Chrsitian passengers from a Muslim mob during one of the riots.

What's it like having a birthday so close to Christmas?

It fucking sucks mate. My father and mother always argue on whether i was born on the 30th or 29th. I always end up missing both days due to arguements. On the plus side, my eldest brother was born on the 3rd of january and he gets all the attention even now that we're men. I don't care. -_-

I know many are focusing on your childhood and teen years, but I'm interested in your life now.

2 questions and thank you for doing this:

1.) How has what you have experienced and seen affected your quality of life at this point in your life?

2.) What are you doing now? I know many people who have experienced those kind of incidents often go into working for a company that funds help for survivors of incidents they were particularly involved in.

1) It helps me not to sweat the small stuff.

2) I work in the film industry but I haven't really thought about concentrating my efforts into relief of any kind. Might be because I'm busy. Philanthropy comes later.

When I was in Nigeria, everyone would shake hands with everyone, and the cool guys would always snap their fingers off of each others'. How can we bring this practice to the West? My friends don't get how cool it is.

Teach them how to do it.

Were you traumatized? how did it feel to witness such things in real life? I mean the panic and the emotions, adrenaline etc.

I wouldn't say traumatized since it's something I've grown up with. Panic definitely but not trauma.

What do you mean by "my childhood wasn't shite"? Are you more privileged than others in your situation, i.e. wealth/social standing? What do you think could have made your childhood "shite"?

I am privileged. I went to good schools and had a very strict reading culture fostered by my parents. If that's not privilege I don't know what is.

I met a nigerian guy awhile back who told me that sororities/fraternities in nigerian universities are pure evil and have evolved to become something like cults/gangs. He painted a grim picture of how there was this particular all girl group who went around raping guys.have you heard of this and if so could you elaborate more on why its like that,if its on an increase/decline and if you have an stories/experiences from such.

Yes it is true. These groups are usually sponsored by the local chairmen to moon light as muscle. They pledge allegiance to shenanigans and basically run the public campuses.

What is education like in Nigeria?

Good meaning highly competitive or piss poor meaning the teachers can barely string sentences together.There is no middle ground.

My student worker is from Nigeria. He wanted me to ask you how much you miss Suya, because he misses it dearly living here in the United States.

Ahhahahaha I FUCKING DO. Ask him when last he had some. Tell him I had some Kilishi from a friend of mine a year ago.

"Suya". finally. thank you so much for this.

I left Nigeria (Lagos & Port Harcourt) 28 years ago as a young boy and have always wanted to know what that awesome kebab was.

Without trying to sound like an arse - I'm glad you made it out. I miss Africa dearly and Nigeria in particular..but fcuk me there's a lot of shit going on there one should never have to deal with.

Awesome, where did you go to?

Hundreds of inappropriate Nigerian Prince jokes will litter this thread.

Of course. The funny thing is each person thinks he's the funniest and cleverest coming up with jokes that hang lower than a great grandma's breasts.

That's why I hid my Nigerian heritage all my time on Reddit. It's like those people who make jokes out of names or call Americans fat. Gets old quick.

Which event that you witnessed affected you most?

There are many, Could you be a little bit more specific?

I'll piggyback.. How have these events you witnessed shaped your world view? What are the big problems from your point of view and what can be done to solve them?

There is nothing we can do to solve in. Alleviate it perhaps but not solve. The old men in power give the same reins to their children who grew up with wealth. Short of exiling them from the stratosphere, the bourgeoisie are the bourgeoisie because they know how to remain the bourgeoisie.

How prevalent is gun ownership among individuals or families in Nigeria?

Not really prevalent. Just the para military forces and criminals. The rest have weapons of prayer.

Why do you believe such acts of violence occur in your part of the world and not as much in others? What are the reasons for such acts of modern violence?

Poverty and lack of education. When you hammer people so much to the point of complacency, eventually someone is going to go mad. Nigeria just started a democratic rule in 2000, the previous periods since the 1960's were military rule so you gotta know how far back the iron hand goes

BH conducted its operations more or less peacefully during the first seven years of its existence - what changed in 2009, do you think?

That's the thing. Nothing changed. I think that's why they just went bat shit insane. They started out as just outspoken radical uneducated clerics and were ignored. It wasn't until they took up arms that shit hit the fan.

What would you do to solve the Boko Haram problem?

With a Nuclear weapon and thirst for blood. Just kidding. With a rail gun and thirst for blood.

To brighten the mood a bit, what is a must-try dish from Nigeria?

Fired rice and plantain(do do) with stew or without.

F'real? Forgot about Nsala? Nkwobi? Isi-Ewu? Suya?..

Aww come on the soups are complicated to make

What was your biggest culture shock when you left Nigeria?

Not much really. I basically knew how things worked in the west. We watch you guys on cable more than you think. We adopt and absorb your cultural exports mate. Well done.

I had a good friend in college that came from Nigeria. He said pretty much the same thing, but that the first time he went into a Walmart he was floored.

Yeah we don't really have metro super stores everywhere.

What differentiates you from other Nigerians that you're on reddit? I'm guessing you don't live there now, so is that it?

Nothing really. If Reddit becomes facebook popular, I'd definitely expect to see more. I was always a weird one back home I guess. I don't live there now.

Do you have any feelings for Nigeria or thinking of going back to rebuild / contribute?

I think once I establish myself, I might go back and revamp the current entertainment sector. The only way to gain the world's interest is by success. Neil Blomkamp put South Africa on everyone's radar ... And made Nigerians look like alien fuckers. O_O

Good thing is our penis doesn't discriminate based on our district 9 portrayal.

Hi! I am half Nigerian, unfortunately have never travelled to the country. When I ask my grandmother questions she does everything to avoid the subject entirely. When did the tensions between Christians and Muslims start?! And is the government partaking in any forms of relief for the situation? How is the situation now?

Thank you! :)

The tension started after independence. The Brits fucked us in the arse and pulled out leaving the Muslims and Christians to squabble for the prize. Different military generals of varying faiths also contributed to the tensions. Resource allocation however is one of the major factors. The North is predominantly Muslim while the south is Christian.

I figured- I'm an international development and globalization student at the University of Ottawa so this notion is pretty much all We study. But thank for your insight on the situation given you went through the terror. Hopefully you are in a more peaceful place now. One more thing- (not knowing which age you witnessed this) do you find it has affected aspects of your daily life? Do you think it has affected any emotional development that you are aware of?! We hear about these situations but never get to talk to someone on an individual level. Thanks! :)

No not really. I guess growing up with it you just kinda get desensitized you know? You could say emotionally, i don't react to hearing news of atrocities having witnessed how depraved people can get.

Yes you did the AMA!!

What one thing could Nigeria do to improve things?

Not the OP/AMA dude, but Nigeria's problem is pretty complicated. Here is the way I see it. European nationalism was established through blood, i.e borders were drawn by war/conflict. Nigeria was/is an amalgamation of different tribes (who were it not for colonialism would have had to evolve the very same way). Thats first. So already you have a bunch of people who really have nothing in common. Imagine the British, French, Germans and Poles trying to build an run a country together. Different language, different customs, I could go on. Secondly, corruption is so deeply rooted I see no hope for the near future. Corruption in Nigeria is certainly driven from the top, as those at the bottom without have no choice (the police on the street come to mind here). There are only 3 things that will truly and surely change Nigeria; 1. A very strong willed dictator/leader with foresight (problem with this? is imagine a post Yugoslavia Tito) 2. The break of the federation, which would likely cause another civil war because the resources (oil) are mostly in one region. 3) A very broad and bloody revolution, I am thinking French or Russian here. One with very deep consequences that changes the political and societal landscape. Until either one of these happens, we (they) are fucked.

This Naija guy gets it.

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Oi. I'm Idoma.

Yes I did read a lot. Including Chinua Achebe's works.

Yes I reckon I will be back there eventually. Just in Canada for shooting a movie.

O_O Yes I am.

mach-2, your ama just paid off. You found a classy gal who likes Paolo Nutini. Well done.

She used a throw away.

I have spent a lot of time in Africa and it seems to me that much of the problem is different tribes/cultures being forced into the same country because some english guy drew a somewhat random map of the area.

Nigeria seems to have clear ethnic regions. Do you think it would help if the country was broken up into smaller countries?

Dividing the nations is simply dividing the problems. It doesn't do anything. All we need is a better educated generation. The onset of technology is helping that immensely.

How long did you live in Nigeria, and what part of Nigeria?

I lived there for 18 years. Lived in Lagos then moved to Jos.

In your opinion, is religion is a force for good, or a force for evil?

Both. Grew up Catholic and had Muslim friends and Christian friends of different denominations. The kindest and worst people I met are from both ends.

Hey, I know this kind of non-related topic, but how big is impact of soccer on the population?

Very popular. Played everywhere. it's the number 1 sport.

What was the most shite part of your childhood?

NEPA now known as PHCN. They are the electric company. Never any light.

How has everything you have seen or experienced while living in Nigeria shaped you to be what you are today?

Yes it has. I learned to both appreciate my heritage and I get to pat myself on the back for not dying yet.

Thanks for doing this. What do you think it will take to control Boko Haram? Do you think the government/military is too weak? Nigeria is a former British Colony, so do you think Britain or the UN could step in like France did in Mali?

I think a honey pot deal. Lure the bastards into a cease fire and purge them behind a shed. Brutal? maybe. But the amount of shit they have pulled, people they have killed, innocent kids who were schooling even. External intervention wouldn't do anything since we are not in a civil war era yet. The Boko Harma still keep to the Northern part of the country.

How's it going bro

I'm good mate.

What is the deal with the rabid hatred for LGBT people that is reported on so much?

You have to understand that we are still chasing the west in every aspect of life. From education, standard of living, down to societal preconceptions.

How do you live with what you have seen today? Do you have nightmares? Where are you living now?

I'm normal. Except for the occasional waking up to conduct rituals, I'm alright. Seriously though, I don't have nightmares anymore. I do get instances that trigger memories but not so much. I lived in the UK, currently in Canada now.

I remember reading some of your stories about your boarding school a few months ago, The ones which stick out are when you got involved in a fruit smuggling rink, and when some kid made a prison break style escape.

My tag for you also leads to this comment which I think is fucking hilarious.

My question is what is your favorite memory from your boarding school?

When I got my first girl friend I reckon.

Is Nigeria "fixable"? (Sorry for the blunt and insensitive term, but nothing else seemed to fit.) What will it take, other than ridiculous amounts of money and attention?

Nigeria has ridiculous amounts of money from the oil. What we do not have is people to put it to good use so in theory it is fixable.

What are some of Nigeria's biggest issues today, and what can the global 'North' (Europe, North America, etc.) do to help?

Education and Electricity. There's nothing Europe and North America can do to help. We need to sort ourselves out. No matter how much money you send, pot bellied chief Obi will pocket it.

What effect do you think these events have on tourism? What advice would you give to someone wanting to travel to Nigeria?

Tourism is still active. Get a trusted tour guide.

who was more violent, Muslims or Christians?

On a scale of fuck - manson home videos? I don't know.

To me, with all the news stories coming out of Nigeria about necklacing, stoning, the repression of human rights, and the oppression of LGBT people it seems like your nation is a savage, uncultured wasteland not fit for the modern world. Is this impression correct or are those inhumane, dark-age elements only a small but visible segment of the country?

Disaster sells mate. Would you have heard of the titanic had it not sunk? I can't say anything to sway you. I would admit that it does seem rather bleak, but there are also beautiful places and people there. Are we behind in issues regarding LGBT? sure. It doesn't mean everyone is like that. In a nation where 70 percent live in poverty, you have to expect this sort of degradation to take place.