IamA man named David J. Fulde. I will answer literally EVERY question posted here for the next few hours! AMA!

What's your 3rd favourite colour? I'm not interested in the first 2.

Teal.

Teal's a beautiful colour, worthy of 3rd place, but I lied, I am interested in the first 2.

Red, blue.

Colour of playing cards >_>

That's fair enough, but where does purple fall in the list?

Purple-purple? 28th. Heliotrope? 4.

After googling Heliotrope, I'm satisfied with your answer. Have a good day.

And you as well!

fuck you Brennan! I know you touched my drum set and I want to hear that dirty little mouth of yours admit it!

wat

Who are you? I'm just too lazy to google you.

I answered this, but I'm looking for a certain comment and found this. Essentially: A nobody that got to the front page. I point camera's at things sometimes.

What good is being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

Nothing.

Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?

Yes.

If you were going to rob a bank and could only arm yourself with standard items found at the grocery store, which items would you choose and how would you use them?

Thanks, big fan.

I'd probably use a cake saying 'Happy cakeday MustacheBananaPants' and tell them it was filled with nitroglycerin.

How about, "My other pastry is not deadly"?

It allows you to insinuate a threat, and then have plausible deniability later.

And, while we are here, what cake do you think would make the best weapon?

Pound cake.

When was the last time you masturbated?

3 minutes ago and 5 minutes from now

You gain the ability to transform yourself into a particular animal once per day for 30 minutes, whenever you want to. When you are in animal form you have no control over your actions, you act as the animal you turn into and have no recollection of the 30 minutes when you revert to human form.

What animal do you choose to turn into and why?

tough one... Hmmm... Slow Loris. I'd be fucking adorable.

If you could, would you? Explain

Yes. I like to try anything once.

Does it mean your gay if you get a blowjob from a man?

No.

<Long convoluted answer about human sexuality>

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Because english is awesome.

Do you like anal?

Never tried it. Don't know.

Good guy, he actually answered!

well, I said I'd answer EVERYTHING

What's your opinion on space colonization?

we have some earth problems to take care of first.

Do you think my decision to move out in 2 days is the right choice?

If you're wondering if it's the right choice, it probably is.

Unless you're one of my roommates in which case: No. You're staying, or at least paying rent :P

Man, everything in this thread is gold.

You could write it all down and memorise the questions and you'd be the best at casual conversation ever.

thanks? :P

How fast can you solve a Rubik's cube? If not, will you learn to do so and come back and tell me in your next IAmA (depending on the success of this one)?

I can solve a rubiks cube in 52 seconds on average with a personal best of ~36 seconds

That was a surprising answer.

Have you seen the movie The Brothers Bloom? well.. I'm effectively Penelope from that movie. I collect hobbies. I'm also really good at sleight of hand/magic/flourishing have an above average typing speed and reading speed, know how to yo-yo etc. etc.

That is good, OP. Ok, I am about 30 seconds up from your personal best with my personal best.

Next time, we both better be under 32 seconds. Game on!

Yes.

It's always interesting to ask,Nicolas Cage,yay or nay?

Every actor is on a scale of good to bad. Robert Downey Jr, good. Jim Belushi, bad. Van Damme, the good kind of bad. Johnny Depp, the bad kind of good. Nic Cage is unidentifiable.

I understood that reference!

I'M A CAT! I'M A SEXY CAT!

Have you ever looked through a telescope? If so, at what, and why?

Yes.

the Moon

It's the fucking Moon.

How many roads must a man walk down?

3

If you could have any Dinosaur as a pet, which would you choose, and what would you feed it?

Triceratops.

Leaves.

Don't you mean tree stars?

My bad.

Which drug do you predict will be legalized after marijuana has become globally accepted?

Legalized? Shrooms

Decriminalized? Heroin.

Boobs?

Yes.

But I'm more of a personality man. Then an eyes man. Then lips. Then ass. THEN boobs.

Scoring points with the ladies on this one

I'm allowed to have a preference!

Unless you were being serious :P

¿Por qué no todos?

Exactly.

How big is your dingaling? If you know what I mean.

either 2" long and 2" around, 7.5" long and 5.5 around or 5.5 long and 7.75 around

Why did I ask you this.

Nothing says I'm telling the truth about any of that. But you asked because you were curious. And I answered because I made a PROMISE

What is your social security number?

XXX-XXX-XXX

EDIT: Huh.. .Reddit blocked it. Neat.

any funny moment in your past that you can look back upon and still get a good laugh out of?

From a post I made in /r/askmen:

I was walking to work and I saw a pretty girl and thought to mself "Oh, she's cute, and she has a dog! A conversation starter! Maybe I can make a new friend!" I walked forward a bit and saw she was currently in an active conversation so I decided to not bother her. I pass her and she turns around and goes "Looking good!" Now... I am not used to this sort of treatment. It is the first stranger to compliment me like this! I get all flustered and, instead of turning and going "thanks, you too!" I turn and I say... "Thanks! I like your dog!" ... I am not exactly the smoothest guy on the planet >_>

Haha amazing story, OP!

The best part is that she's walking around with the story from her point of view, thinking you told her of like a brain ninja.

Don't say that! D: Now I feel bad! ha ha

Do hermaphrodites go to male or female prison?

This is a complicated question I am not qualified to answer. My thoughts:

If they are identifying as the opposite sex and are on horomone treatment, they should go to the gendered prison they identify as. More than willing to be educated in this topic though :)

I think you're thinking of transgender people -- "hermaphrodite" isn't generally used for humans these days, "intersex" is the preferred term. Intersex people are born with at least some aspects of both bits. Sometimes, especially in older days, the parents/doctors of intersex babies would decide at birth to surgically alter them to have one particular set of genitalia, but now it's considered mutilation to do that before the child can identify as a gender. That's also why some intersex people have to transition genders, because their parents chose a sex for them that wasn't what they ended up identifying as.

Thank you for the education!

I'll change my answer:

Whichever gender the person identifies as.

Have you ever sent a girl dick pics?

nope

Will you answer this?

Nope.

If you could eliminate any number in existence, what number would it be?

Pi. Tau would take over the world like it should!

What is your favorite playing card suit?

Club

Do you know who the king of clubs represents?

Alex the great?

I think you are correct.

I hope so. I just put down the first thing that came up on google! because that would mean I'm just that great :P

Would you rather have your penis the size of your nipples or your nipples the size of your penis?

edit: Grammer

Oh wow... This is though... Probably my nipples the size of my penis...

Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?

Finally! this question! :D

I'd rather fight neither since I'm not a violent person but I'd say one horse sized duck.

As a proud duck owner, I can say that ducks are machines of SLAUGHTER AND DEATH. If a duck doesn't want you nearby, they have three primary systems. They will either

• Bite you
• Hit you with wings
• Claw you

Yes. Ducks have claws. Mostly for traction, but they can and will draw blood. And don't underestimate the force of a duck's wing strength. They use those bad boys to become airborne, and having something like that swinging at your face is not a fate I'd wish upon my worst enemy. As to the biting, it's not that big of a deal.

Now, that may sound survivable enough. But if this sucker's the size of a horse, we could be dealing with a creature more irritable than Smaug, and twice as likely to kill Hobbits. Also, approximately three times tastier.

In this hypothetical situation I would probably have a gun.

Gun>claws

Anywhere we can see your film work?

projectmonday.tumblr.com

I used to make something every week. Then I stopped :P

How did you find out about Reddit?

I- huh... I don't know...

What is the one question you really want to be asked?

How many times can you perform a gryphon roll in one minute

How many times can you perform a gryphon role in one minute?

47!

How did you get into filmmaking?

I dunno. It was time for me to go to college, and I was panicking and though "What makes me happy?" There was one, real, answer. Sleight of Hand. But I couldn't go to school for that so I thought back and remembered that I used to love watching behind the scenes in movies etc. so... I decided t go to Film School!

The rest is history1 I have had so many incredible opportunities open up to me. Best decision in my life I've made and it was made in like... an hour?

(It was film school or go to school for IT)

Do you even lift?

Nope.

How tall are you?

6'2"

Six-foot-2. I didn't know they stacked shit that high.You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere?

Six foot 2 seems to be average-tall. Like... Most people who are tall fall in the 6 foot 2 range

Also, I'm pretty sure you are, quite cleverly, calling me a shithead. In which case Bravo. Bravo.

sorry, i'm watching full metal jacket, go figure lol, my real question is what's a good movie to watch when it's 15 below? and are you a peter puffer?

Long time since I've watched the movie. Good reference!

Watch The Fall. One of my favourite films of all time. I think it;s on Netflix...

what is the best sci fi film do you think?

Moon, District 9, Blade Runner, Metropolis, Akira...

At a party, everyone shook hands with everybody else. There were 66 handshakes. How many people were at the party?

This type of question is actually how they are testing quantum computers!

but the answer is 12 according to Google.

Can you name all the German Kaisers in order, backwards?

Nope.

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unicorn farts

Read any solid books lately?

Recently finished the Wes Anderson Collection, which is fantastic. About to start the Jack Nicholson Biography.

Speaking of Biography's: Peter Jackson's is FANTASTIC

You are the bravest boy I ever met.

D'awww thanks!

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Not everyone is built Ford tough!

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As much as it want's because it's not held down by your societal expectations.

Do you ever look at what's happening in the states and just laugh and or feel sorry for us?

No, because I also look at what's happening in Canada and go "Ohh...."

If you had three spare hours with absolutely nothing to do would you reprise your AMA, watch trash TV, finally get round to tidying up or initiate something soul enriching?

I have a vested interest in this. I took the tv option.

I tidied up the other day, I'm doing the AMA today... I'd probably CONTINUE doing something soul enriching! BOO YAH! DBAG ANSWER!

What's cooler than cool?

Ice cold.

with a sombrero

What's your favorite part about anal sex?

The part where it's with someone that I care about.

How many times a day do you say sorry?

Depends on how many times I have Ugly Faces by Watsky on repeat since I sing along to things that I shouldn't sing along to.

I can;t give an accurate answer, but I saw "Cool beans" like... times a day

Are you scientific in your thought?

Are you trying to fill out a dating profile for me?

And yes.

Nuggets or chicken fingers ?

Nuggets. Because it looks like there is more on my plate/in the cardboard box so I'll eat less...

This does not work in practice...

Do you love me? What music do you listen too?

Yes.

As for music: It varies. right now lots of Childish Gambino, but usually more indie rock. I Highly recommend Dead Man's Bones which is Ryan Gosling's music project :)

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I hope so! always wanted to go!

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

Yes.

Did I want to?

No. My roommate hung around the house naked for a couple days for some reason T_T

Are gays?

Are gays... what?

Do you go to those Sundance film festivals over here? What about Texas, there are Dallas film festivals and Austin is a cultural hotspot. What do you really think of Texans? Lol.

Also, all the texan's I've met have been incredibly warm and accepting people with great senses of humour.

I've never been to any film fest aside from the one(s) held in my city.

Is David Bowie going to tour again? Tell me true!

I don't know.

Are you thoughtless in your remarks?

At times, yes. But usually I think about what I'm saying for at least a split second and go "Is this really fucking stupid?" "Yes." "Is it offensive?" "No. Great, say it anyways."

we cool?

We cool.[ Have a sombrero](We cool. Have a sombrero. http://www.photo-dictionary.com/photofiles/list/2455/8394sombrero.jpg).

When meeting new people, what are the cheesiest ice breakers you've ever been a part of?

My friend swears by the line "Nice boots let's fuck" (He says 9 slaps are worth one yes)

but one's that I've been a part of? "Nice tattoo" Uhm... I don't know! I don't meet people andomly! ha ha. they are 90% of the time introduced to me/I to them at various functions. I guess "What do you do"?

Do you work in Canada? How is the film industry there?

Yes. Depends on the city. Where I am is actually one of the best places to get started. We have a GREAT indie scene and a growing 'hollywood' scene. Not to mention we have a bunch of programs centered around getting young/fledgling filmmakers creating fantastic films.

The more west you go (Toronto/Vancouver) the less the indie scene is a factor and the larger pool of people you're fighting for jobs. I don't know much about Montreal's industry because it's so different.

What is your least favorite movie or if you don't have a least favorite, a movie you walked out on it was so bad?

No least favourite nor movies I've walked out of that I can recall but... I hate bad movies and try to avoid them. Cheesy films that are excusing bad for funny. (See: Low budget slashers etc.)

I'm looking into being a script writer and trying to get into the movie biz. Any tips? And it seems like it would be something hard to pay the bills until you actually "make it".

Write. Write. Read how to write. Write some more. Read 'STORY', 'Save the Cat' etc.

Watch movies. Lots of them. Read scripts, lots and lots and lots of them.

Do you have a pager?

Nope. Pagers are for losers. I'm the beeper king!

What's your opinion on marijuana legalization?

I'm all for it, though I don't smoke.

Will you be joining us at BUrning Man this year? Think you might enjoy that thing in the desert?

I'm broke. I'd love to go.

I went to a music festival here in Nova Scotia awhile back called EVOLVE. It was fantastic but filled with 16 year old's doing too much E and just too drug centric (Even compared to other music festivals). Burning Man seems more art centric.

You are in a Zombie apocalypse, running from a large group of zombies. You come upto a very high bridge, which is blocked on the opposite side. You are not able to climb or get over before they catch you. Turning back is not an option as you will run right into them. On you, you have 40 feet of rope, a knife and a handgun with 10 bullets. How you you escape?

40 feet of rope ges tied to the bridge and myself. Jump into chasm and let rope catch me. Allow zombies to either run away/get bored and/or fall of cliff. Climb back up and pick off stragglers with knife or gun.

I have some background extra experience. Will you please use me in a film? Preferably a speaking role. Not main or anything, just a supporting role. Thankskbye

Yeah! Were you the redhead I saw in the Rural Juror?

Might I take your mother out on a date?

No.

Last person that you truly wanted to murder? Like, if no one found out, what did they do and how would you have murdered them?

Feed me!

Huh... No one. I can;t think of anyone I have ever truly wanted dead, especially by my hands.

What number am I thinking about? Also.. who let the dogs out?

23

The bouncer.

Thinking about about moving canada soon .. where do you recommend ?

Halifax for a hybrid of city and town, Toronto for the big city, vancouver for rain and pot.

Are you able to make a decent movie using the camera of a smartphone?

With a great script and good sound, yes!

Who the eff is Hank?

Hank is a river on the east side of the koopa kingdom. One person lives there, his name is Dave Green but everyone calls him Hank because of his proximity to the river.

What is your favorite breakfast cereal? What is the weather like today?

Lucky Charms.

sunny and cold.

Do you know what happens to a frog when it gets hit by lightning?

ZAP

Literally?

LITERALLY

Favorite type of hand tool? Least favorite country? Would you rather have be sold into slavery or killed? Recommend an Oncologist.

Hand tool? Pen

Least fave. country? Grenyarnia

sold into Slavery

Doctor Smith

How doth a man who have not a snout but a pig, water a plant which has gardened its own fruits of the child?

With water.

[deleted]

Nope. One is not a sample size. I'm not saying test more for science but..

Who wins: Sasquatch vs Chuck Norris

Sasquatch. Hands down.