IamA I'm a stand up comedian and it's my cake day so like me so I don't die poor.

Can you tell us the story of the time you bombed hardest? Judging from your youtube clip, you should have a deep well to draw from.

thanks dick. haha. it was a few months ago. it was a 10 oclock show and i was told i could do whatever i wanted as far as material. I get on stage and there's a table of 10 90 year olds staring me down. i don't think i've ever eaten my dick harder than I did that set. They weren't looking at me like they were mad, just disappointed.

I'm not angry at you Mike, just disappointed. Try harder

you're getting better.

What's your worst heckler story and how do manage you typically handle a heckler?

it was my first time ever getting heckled at the now defunct Comedy Vault. I was wearing a pink shirt i believe and someone yells

Heckler: "Nice shirt, faggot"

Me: "Yeah, I just grabbed the first thing I could find, your mother had customers waiting"

H: "My mom just died, you asshole!"

M: "Of disappointment in you?" (total knee jerk reaction)

Heckler gets up and leaves and someone from his table just screams "she got shot in the face!"

I tried to keep my self from laughing for the rest of the set, and I get back stage and the headliner tells me the kid is outside and wants to fight me. I was just like fuck it, lets see, and nobody was there. he totally ribbed me.

Such a double standard, My god! You didn't know his Mom died, and when you did it's not like you were picking on him. The guy was saying shit to you, he engaged the comedian on stage and didn't think he would be hurt back. Honestly this guy now has the realization that people can hurt him as well. Maybe he will just sit and enjoy the show next time. It's still really shitty about his Mother, but it doesn't excuse his behavior.

it's probably cuz he had a shitty mother, frankly

I shot cider out of my nose just now.

cider is great! apple picking is not

Honestly, if you're going to heckle someone you should be expecting a mother joke.

there was literally zero time between him saying it and it leaving my mouth. it was a reflex.

I wish I had that reflex. My perfect come-backs come to me ten minutes later.

some things cant be taught

Nice. This reminds me of a story I heard Bill Burr share on his podcast, though his may have been a bit more brutal as I understand it was not a heckler exactly.

I should add this happened to another comedian whose name I don't recall. Said comedian was working out some joke about a recent plane crash which upset someone in the audience who shouts, "My wife was on that flight." and without missing a beat the comedian reacts with, "Great! Let's dig her up and fuck her!"

sounds like kevin knox if im not mistaken

I had a guy front row on his phone. He threatened to kick my ass. That guy was such an asshole.

can't please em all

Do you have a go to comment for when people say, "Say something funny"?

it ranges from "go fuck yourself" to "what's your job? do it for free for me right the fuck now"

Follow up question: have you considered saying something funny instead of something hostile?

sometimes haha. but the thing about comedy is that you need the right setting. if you met david ortiz, you wouldn't hand him a bat and ball and go, "alright, hit home runs" cuz he'd say, "ok, we're not at a baseball field and nobody is pitching to me, this isn't the right setting".

I don't know, he might not mind socking a few dingers.

i knew someone was gonna do that. haha

except it would sound way cooler coming from papi. go sox, btw.

Is having a conversation with yourself part of your bit?

from time to time, yes.

Fucking Ortiz ...

/Cardinals fan.

honestly cardnals fans are a good bunch. no ill will regardless of the outcome

"what's your job? do it for free for me right the fuck now"

as a nurse, i would immediately throw you on the ground and start doing chest compressions. in a non sexual way.

can it be sexual?

Just say 'something funny'. It'll crack them up.

i wanna scream haha.

I imagined you screaming "HAHA" with a very serious face and a very startled crowd.

well played

I tried to upload a scene from Louie CK relevant to you. but youtube blocked it.

I know the one you're talking about. the worst things you can say to a comic are:

say something funny

no

you should use this in your act

no because it's not mine

i should be a comedian

no you shouldn't you're an asshole

is this gonna end up in your act?

no, you're not that interesting.

I have the utmost respect for people who work in comedy. People don't seem to understand how hard it is to actually do it. Everyone thinks its just getting up and telling a few jokes. Jokes aren't funny, they're lame. You need to get up there, tell a story, set a scenario and then bring it back around and tie everything together at the end. I have a lot of friends that do stand up and I wish I could do what they do.

Did you ever do any improv?

no i've never had an interest in improv. there's kinda this weird thing with most comics that you're either one or the other.

we're kinda like the sharks and the jets except nobody can dance and there's less knife fights.

If you were standing in front of a group of cannibals and you had to make them laugh with one joke or they would BBQ you (no BBQ sauce). What joke would you use?

Oh that's a tough one. Are we assuming the cannibals speak english?

Yea and they are all wearing NY Jets Gear.

actually scratch that. here's one of my favorite street jokes.

so this farmer is out tending to his sheep and he sees one of the sheep has his head stuck in the fence. He's long been a widow and hasn't had sex in years and he's just dying to get it out of his system so he figures, hey how bout I have sex with this sheep?

So he's having sex with the sheep and his neighbor sees. He strolls over and says 'hey can i have a turn?"

the farmer says sure and before he can say anything else, he looks over and sees his neighbor with his head in the fence.

Change 'Farmer' to 'Welshman' and you have an English classic.

that's probably how it really goes.

jesus. if i were a woman i'd be even more scared. i've seen they are excellent at punching them. if i can use a street joke, i'd use the one that norm mcdonald used on conan about a prospector and andy ritcher. look it up. great joke.

Do you have an emergency plan for frontrow hecklers? Or if some smartass tries to challenge your POV .

every comic keeps a few grenades in his belt. my favorite i've ever thrown was at a woman that wouldn't shut up.

"this isn't that bukkake film you made, you're not the center of attention right now"

What would you do if you said that to someone's wife and he got up and punched you in the face, knocking you out, and then took over the mic and entertained the crowd for a solid 45 seconds at your expense until he was seized by security? Not that I've seen that happen.

ya probably wouldn't. i did bjj for 3 years before i broke my hand, got depressed and found comedy. kid can scrap.

the best story i've ever heard was a headliner in boston had a NYE show and showed up to find out that there was no opener and he was gonna have to do 90 minutes on his own.

he went out side found a homeless guy and offered him $50 to do ten minutes.

the guy destroyed for 30 minutes and the headliner ate his dick trying to follow him. I never believed it until I met the guy. Phil, he hangs out at the Park St T station and he's the fucking man.

What! Is there a video of this?

If you live in Boston go give Phil change and retro jerseys. He loves those.

I wish.

Were you the class clown in school? Also did your parents immediately die from shock when you told them you would be a stand-up or was it a gradual death from shame?

i was always a smart ass growing up. comedy isn't my full time thing, so my parents aren't worried. my day job is very solid and i do quite well at it. my dad has come to a bunch of my shows, my mom however, is quite humorless and hasn't appreciated the jokes about the family that have gotten back to her. can't please everyone.

Does she also cook you loveless chicken when you go to visit?

say what you will about her nurturing, but the woman can cook.

My name is Mike too...am I a comedian?

do you kinda hate yourself, but also hate everyone around you just a little bit more?

The scales are constantly at odds with the balance, but today...yes.

then maybe! but probably still no.

You got yourself a new fan today Mulloy. You should be ashamed of yourself.

White, Irish-Catholic, straight, middle class male. You don't have to remind me to be ashamed.

Whose the most famous comedian you've met?

probably greg fitzsimmons. i opened for him a few months ago. really nice guy. stanhope i've met, but didn't get to perform with yet.

Stanhope is fucking awesome.

Just saying.

agreed. which is so weird because I hated him and rogan growing up because the new Man Show sucked so hard. now I understand it wasn't their fault and they're two of my favorites.

I still have no idea what idiot put them on the Man Show. Their vibe is totally antithetical to it (which is why I love them). The day that was announced I knew it wasn't going to work because there's no way the dude who told a story about pulling a pretend gun on a tranny hooker and waxed nostalgic about the days when rappers were killing each other would fit in with the "beer, nachos, and football" mentality of Man Show.

agreed 100%. they tried neutering them

How did you get started?

it starts out super depressing and ends pretty awesome.

it was about 3-4 years ago. I was really unhappy with my life and what I was doing with it and was struggling with depression for a while.

Things got their lowest when I tied an HDMI cable around the cross bar in my closet and tried to sit my ass down. Luckily I'm not much for carpentry and didn't know that the mother fucker would snap on me, dropping me on my ass and then hitting me in the face for good measure.

I sat on my back for a good 30 minutes and then just started laughing to myself for what seemed like hours. I realized how stupid everything i was doing with my life was and decided it was time to change it and start doing the things I really loved. And as I sat their laughing I realized that was what made me feel better than anything in the world. Laughing. I wanted to make people do that.

Probably wasnt a monster hdmi cable

it was actually haha. The cord held, the support beam not so much.

To be fair, I would try and hang myself too if I paid for an overpriced HDMI cable.

It was 2009 I didn't know any better man.

You should pitch an advertising campaign to Monster featuring your uplifting story.

So sturdy you'll break your tailbone if you try offing yourself.

That is the whitest, most middle class suicide attempt I've ever heard. It's like trying to slit your wrists with a dry.cleaning bill.

drown in a bath tub of hummus

How you doing today buddy?

I'm doing pretty well, and yourself?

Two questions:

1) How much do you usually earn per gig?

2) Did you ever get any pussy from one your shows?

1) varies greatly. I've gotten paid nothing for shows. I've gotten paid $500 for shows. College gigs pay the most because they have huge budgets, but they can be tough cuz 18-22 year olds typically don't know shit about life.

2) yes. there used to be a bartender at my home club that would literally tell every hot girl that went to the bar to go talk to me. i miss him so much. alex if you're out there, please come back. i need you.

I feel like everyone needs Alex in their life.

seriously, after my sets he would just hand me free booze all night. probabyl the reason he was fired. but god damn he was the best wing man i've ever known.

he'd always say, "hey that comedian over there said you were cute when he was you walk in, you should go talk to him" and from there it was like clubbing baby seals.

He's obviously in heaven being Jesus's wingman and I'm not even religious.

he didn't die haha.

He will though, just like you... eventually. :)

jebus.

we got any more questions? I have 33 more minutes to kill haha.

Are you a Cylon?

Edit: Of all the comments to get gold (my first, thank you stranger!) on I wasn't expecting this one! Somebody is just as big a BSG nerd as me...and I frakking love it!

after googling it, i'm gonna go with no.

Learn your demo bro.

i've been meaning to, i've been on a major "The Shield" tear lately though on iTunes. I met Michael Chiklis, he's from boston. He's maybe up to my belly button.

What is your best joke?

that's a tough one. the one i love best is probably my one about witches. The only joke that I have from when I started is the smoothie one. I'm always amazed watching my old sets at what material i simply don't use anymore.

I think he wanted you to tell it...

oh. it's in that video. haha. it's a long joke

Try harder Mike.

jesus mom, cut the shit.

Ever done any material on vaccuum cleaners?

just about the dust filters for a Hoover Max Extract® 60 Pressure Pro

I see we gave a Breaking Bad fan in the house

you know it, bitch!

speaking of which, i'm sure if you have vine you already follow him because everyone does, but ry doon has a spot on jesse from breaking bad impression.

In your Youtube clip, you closed with a "Ledasha" joke. Really? That joke is years old, and not very funny. I mean, you expanded on it a little bit, but still, you need a much stronger closer.

another one of those true stories that is ruined by the internet. one of the headliners i work with came up to me once and was like "Does your friend teach at ______ school" and i'm like ya and he's like "ya i know that family, that's still hilarious"

it's not normally my closer, as i mentioned in the video i was running short on time.

/r/standupshots might be a good place to put up your material (if you haven't already).

i havent. i suck at photoshop. i see some guys i know on there from time to time though.

No need to get fancy. Just use Paint. Feel free to message me for some pointers. As a fellow comic, r/standupshots has really helped me get my name out there.

neat! ok i really have to go now!!! bye everyone!!!

Why do maths text books have to be so racially diverse?

because everyone is special and everyone should get a trophy.

What's the best tip you could give some one who is trying to start out as a stand up comedian?

don't ever ever ever ever ever ever steal. you won't grow as a comic and everyone will hate you.

Seems like it turned out okay for Carlos Mencia.

haha not really, you seen him on tv lately? once people find out you're a thief, you've ruined damn near any chance you ever had.

"When two gay men have sex, how do they know whose penis will open up to accept the other person's penis?" -Dwight Schrute -Mike Mulloy.

Thanks for the advice.

If you didn't watch, Mike uses about this same joke in his youtube clip.

We already covered that. Saying it on tv doesn't mean you said it first or best. And apparently it's from the last season which nobody watched.

I'm a girl and you're cute that's all I'm saying.

honestly, that's all i've ever wanted to hear. thank you :)

all i've ever wanted to here

Is it also all you've ever wanted to there?

oh shut up haha.

Am I cute?

maybe? a/s/l?

What is your long term goal as a comedian? Is this something you want to make a living doing for the rest of your life, or just more of a hobby type deal?

i would love to. i have a day job that i love and pays me well, but I would love to make a living on stand up alone. It's not easy though. But I love having something to occupy my time from 9-5, M-F

How attainable do you think that goal of making a living doing stand up is from where you stand now?

it's hard. for a variety of reasons. one being that there's no cuts. so there's a lot of people that aren't funny taking up spots. people have a hard time accepting the fact that they're not funny. people often think that being funny is a right not a skill. if you're not good at basketball, you don't get to play with the elite level players but for some reason comedy is different

Who is an "elite level" comedian who you feel isn't funny enough to be on that level?

funny is so subjective. i don't like carrot top, but people do. does that mean he's not funny? no. that means he's not funny to me. he's probably hilarious to some people though.

I totally agree with you there. Which I guess would be the main struggle as a comedian, in such a subjective genre of entertainment you have to feel out who you do and don't appeal to. Have you ever got on stage and just didn't get anything from the audience? Like a total disaster show?

just answered that with the 10 90 year olds staring me down. I would 10 times rather have a crowd that is fighting me than a crowd that is indifferent. if they're fighting you at least you can use some comedic judo on them and use what they're saying against them. if they're giving you nothing, it's the worst.

Have you seen carrrot top in his vegas act? Everyone I have talked to said they went in expecting to be disappointed and ended up surprised he was so funny

i haven't actually. to be honest, i don't watch a lot of taped comedy. you need to be there live and really devote 90 minutes to a show. no cell phone, no computer, just sit and watch someone work their art.

Your views on crossfit are dead on.

thanks!

What's the transition from an everyday funny guy to a stand up comedian?

People always tell me "you're so funny you should be a comedian!" I always tell them I don't know any jokes. I just kinda troll conversations and situations and come up with some witty punch line on the spot. I'm not much of a storyteller.

it's so hard. people don't understand how hard 5 minutes is to fill when you're first starting out. just write and eventually the funny will reveal itself.

What is your process for creating new material?

I used to just do everything on my phone as far as writing, but note books are the way to go. you come up with so many more ideas. write everything you think of down. you won't remember it.

Who are you biggest influences? Who do you think you're closest to in style?

norm McDonald for sure. I've been told that I'm the bastard child of him and joel McHale, that they're both very ashamed of.

I could see Norm! It sounds weird, but for the first few minutes of your video, your delivery reminded me of Ellen Degeneres, if she learned foul language. And was a man.

we have the same barber. I love Ellen, I wish she did stand up more. Her early stuff is great. There's a lot of great female comedians out there that I wish more people knew about too.

That's why! Her stylist is actually one of my good friends. She said it was hard to cut hair while hyperventilating from laughing.

What other female comedians do you recommend?

nationally? i love chelsea peratti. Jen Kirkman, Wanda Sykes, Tig Notaro to name a few.

dead? phyllis diller and joan rivers. don't try to tell me joan rivers isn't dead. I'm not hearing it.

in boston? jenny z is great and just got slated for a comedy central spot so that's neat.

I hear a lot of comedians for whom I have a lot of respect saying that their biggest influences are Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Bill Cosby, and Eddie Murphy. I grew up after those guys were popular and the people who got me to become an adult who loves stand-up comedy were definitely Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld.

Are your influences older folks like Pryor and Carlin, or newer folks like Rock and Seinfeld? Or someone else entirely?

honestly you have to watch everyone, good and bad. watch good habits, watch bad ones. pick and choose what style you want to be. the biggest thing is being you. if you're trying to be someone else on stage, people will sniff that out and they won't trust you. and if they don't trust you they're not going to laugh with you.

Can you please provide proof?

https://twitter.com/fakemikemulloy/status/395565772732657664

will that do?

one thing that most civilians (yes, comedians refer to non-comics as that, i know, it's douchey) don't know is that there is a massssive pro wrestling fan community within the comedy scene. i stopped watching when I was like 12 but got hooked once I started doing stand up. I would love to pass Chris Jericho in the IAmA section but that seems unlikely.

Are you able to support yourself with only your comedy? Or do you have another job?

good god no. that's a really hard thing to do, especially outside of new york or LA. boston is really hard because typically the headliners are the same guys that have been headlining since the 80s. We all expected them to die due to their insane cocaine use, but they're still kicking.

By day I work in finance. It provides some material from time to time, but it mainly gives me money and insurance which i like.

Where are you a comedian?

mostly boston. but i've performed all over New England. I've gotten the chance to perform in DC, Seattle, Miami, New Orleans, Austin, TX, and Scottsdale, AZ. I actually performed at Stand Up, Scottsdale, which was featured recently on Bar Rescue, if you like that show.

Austin was my favorite city to perform in by far. I did 7 shows in 2 nights and it was one of the most fun times I've had as a comic.

What was the hardest thing you found while becoming a stand up comedian?

the politics and business end. it's exhausting. i wish it was just a matter of show up and be funny.

Hey! I saw you a few months ago at BU. You went on before Jay pharoh. everyone i talked to about that night agreed that you were funnier than he was. I was literally crying you were so fucking hysterical. So... I don't really have a question but uhh.... have a lovely day.

That wasn't me! Haha. Lost in a sea of white comics I am. But thanks?

Oh shit his Twitter says he's in boston we got a boston comic here. I feel like boston comics are more "real" hard place to cut your teeth. Do you like joe rogan and bill burr and their stand up? Is Boston comedy still alive and well or is it in need of a resurgence of talent?

i love joe and bill. bill swung by a show i was on after his show at the wilbur and said good set to me and i was in awe even though i know he probably didn't see my set haha.

boston is hurting right now due to a lack of clubs and a dirth of comedians. it'll get back to where it was though i hope.

Thanks for the response. I just got home from work and like your set. I'm a huge fan of comedy I have a phone/ipod at work all day every day devouring stand up and podcasts its great to find someone new.

I don't know if u like or know of ari shaffir but he is a comic he just moved to new york. Maybe hit him up and you guys can do a podcast about you being an up and coming comedian in boston I think it would be cool. Best wishes

i love ari. he's coming to boston soon and i'm begging the booker to let me open for him.

Any advice for making a name for yourself in standup outside of LA or NYC?

networking is huge. it was something i struggled with for a while when i first started out. comedy scenes are very close knit but very cliquey but most shows are booked by comics, so make nice.

I watched the link you posted, funny stuff man. I'd watch more

thanks, i'm starting to do longer sets now, i usually only keep my most recent video public.

We are cakeday brothers! Happy mothafuckin cakeday!

And also with you.

I've been writing for months and am starting to polish shit up is there anything I should know other than what everyone else tells me which is "dude just pick the mic up and start doing it"

just pick you the mic and do it. get reps in, that's the only way to get stronger.

How will being a comedian help you in the zombie apocalypse?

i know what open mics that civilians would never attend. most are in basements so that helps too.

If you were to get food thrown at you what food would you prefer?

planters cheese balls. light enough where they won't hurt. delicious enough that i wouldn't mind.

Don't know if I'm too late but I'll go for it.

What are some good areas to see some stand up in Boston? I've lived in the Boston and Somerville for the past two years and have been asking around a bit for where to go but haven't gotten much guidance.

Comedy studio is the best. Laugh Boston is the new club that's trying to make a play. For open mics though? Gmas basement in the Howard Johnson near Fenway is good. Same with tavern at the end of the world.

So a few questions Mike :

• has comedy itself made you lose any friends? Like, not agreeing with a source material your using, or possibly the life / profession?

• what do you feel are biggest obstacles with comedy and the profession?

• is there a limit to how far your humour will go? Like, with some comics is a no hold show, and they just speak on any subject really.

• any regrets up until now? Something wish went another way? Or a show you wish you could re-do?

1. yes, but not for material, just for not being able to be around all the time. my friends think i can just blow off gigs and don't understand how important it is to me.

2. humility is the first big lesson you'll learn. you suck. you have to accept that at first. the sooner you do the sooner you can get better.

3. no never. there's always a way to make something funny.

4. ya, i would change a million things. basically just taking the advice that i give to others now.

That's fair, thankyou for the that. I've always been interested in comedians, and how it must be. Shame on the friends though.

Another question if you don't mind, but is there like a rule for jokes? Like do you have to stick to a certain age demographic or do you go for general jokes? I could imagine it difficult sometimes, trying to bridge a generation gap, and trying to please all, or sometimes just some.

Incredibly difficult since I talk about a lot of pop culture. Just try to relate to people.

If you could meet one great comedian or comedy actor that passed on, who would it be?

milton burle, carlin, pryor or alan king. i had no idea who alan king was until an older gentleman told me i reminded him of alan king. i looked him up after and couldn't have been more honored by the comparison.

No questions to ask, GO SOX!!

indeed

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for comedians? don't measure yourself against other comics or get pissed about what others are getting. write write write and get up as much as possible. even nights where you don't wanna go up, either get up or at least be seen at an open mic because that's how you get more bookings.

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same goes for life really. just work on you, don't be shitty to people and things will go your way eventually and you'll be a better person for going through the struggle.

what's the best reaction to a joke you've ever had?

I made Glen Davis AKA Big Baby formerly of the Celtics fall out of his chair once. his mother was the spitting image of the mother from the nutty professor and she was wearing Glen's jersey as a dress.

She came up to me after and said how much she loved the Brian Scalabrine T-shirt I was wearing "I love Brian, that's my boooooy"

How do I start my own stand up career? What (if anything) would you do differently if you were starting from scratch today?

just do open mics for your first year. don't worry about getting seen, worry about getting good. write write write. network network network. get up as much as possible and accept any opportunity to perform that you're offered

Thanks for the answer.

What do you think of YouTube and Twitter as venues to get noticed? Basically what do you think of the Bo Burnham route?

however there are some really really great writers on twitter who i've learned a lot about comedy from. also, black twitter fascinates me.

The only thing better than black twitter is weird twitter.

i dont know if i'm ready to dabble with weird twitter yet. black twitter is occupying most of my time.

honestly i hate it because that's not really my style of comedy so i can't really take advantage of it. if i wasn't a comedian I wouldn't use social media at all. but i feel like most youtube/vine content is appealing to the least common denominator.

I agree entirely. My favorite comics are the performers who respect the craft. Have great material obviously, but play (butt play) with the crowd. Turn them against you, then reel them back in.

Way more rewarding and more of a skill, than writing a shitty 3 min punny song about breakfast cereal.

100% agree. people don't see the psychology of comedy. it's really amazing when you think about it this way.

i have to piece a bunch of words together, that independently mean nothing. I have to put them together like a puzzle to find a combination that is going to make someone react in a certain way, and it doesn't always have to be laughter.

First, let me bring this AMA to a screeching halt by being a Debbie Downer. Do you see a distinct correlation between being funny and having depression among yourself and other comedians? What had you depressed in the first place? I read ahead on how you got started.

Now to try and lighten it up a bit. When are we going to see you on Comedy Central? Just watched your video and you're pretty fucking awesome. Planning on coming out to Cali anytime soon? I'd totally pay to see you. You can come crash on my couch and I'd give you material for your act. It's a total win win.

honestly, you can't look at comedy and say there isn't a correlation. the best comedians in the world are very damaged people. for me, i was unhappy with my job, my relationship, and how i was spending my time. so i changed all three.

for the later, not any time soon. i've gotten realistic with where i'm at and i'm at least a few years away til i'm TV ready. Right now I'm 50/50 between NYC and LA for next fall. I'm definitely moving to one or the other. I might have to take you up on that offer :)

Mike Mulloy... LIKE THAT'S YOUR REAL NAME!!! The nerve of some people...

ya man. if i'm gonna make a name for someone it might as well be my own.

How do you get gigs and where do you get most of your material? I'm extremely amateur at the stand-up thing, so right now I just try to write down any funny things immediately and have no idea how to get myself out there.

getting gigs is all about networking. find out who books what and follow up constantly to the point where they can't ignore you.

i get my material from every where. i look for stupid shit on the internet, and stories from growing up, but the easiest way to find stuff to write about is to just observe life as closely as you can. the world is fascinating.

Ive been doing stand up for about 2 years. have you ever done shows in canada? if so do you find a difference in audiences? (Canada vs US)

no but i would love to. i need to find my passport, because i've heard great things about the scene in toronto and i know a few comics up there from festivals.

where are you based out of by the way?

Hey, you got giant fuckin ears, like me. What do you say when people tell you that you have giant fuckin ears

Honestly I got a lot a shit about it growing up and nobody has harped on it for years so I'm gonna go cry in the handicap stall until I think of something hurtful to say.

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i'm not super familiar with that scene yet. literally everywhere though. the cellar is the best though. creek and cave is good too.

You're pretty funny, I'd go see you perform. I'm a musician, and I find that it can be hard to coordinate gigs. Do you have any tips that might help me? Also, happy cake day!

ABBB

Always be bothering bookers.

How did you get started? Was it hard? Who is your favorite comic?

My secret dream is to quit my job and move to a city to become a comic, where is a good place to start? I live in the middle of nowhere New England working IT. I haven't written anything since college and my main fear is im so out of practice my writing would be shit.

your writing will be shit. that's why you practice.

I just answered that, yes very, norm mcdonald :)