peanutsbeta

Hey guys, I found Jimmy Fallon's account!

I shot cider out of my nose just now.

What a dick.

I have so many questions...

• is he inhaling them?

• is he okay?

• why?

• how did he find out he could do this?

• should we call someone?

• why is the woman in the background on the phone acting calm like this is a normal occurrence?

• is the woman in the background already calling someone to help him?

• are they married?

• did her dad know he could do this when he gave him his blessing to marry his daughter?

• is this a genetic trait?

• if you put one end of a hotdog into a vacuum cleaner and the other into his mouth, who would win?

I remember that feeling. Not fun. I had my jaws broken and reset, and when I came to, I immediately realized I was going to hurl.

Trouble was my mouth didn't work from all the swelling, cotton gauze, general pain, and painkillers I was on. I tried to mime writing on a pad, and even tried pointed to my stomach then dragging a finger up my chest and to my mouth before pointing away from my mouth vigorously. Apparently, the nurse didn't understand, so I waved her over to my bedside and vomited on her.

Funny enough, she got the idea after that and brought me a basin to finish barfing into.