IAmA 20 year old female with a minor physical deformity. AMA

you have just enough fingers to use a mouse. A SIGN FROM THE COMPUTER GODS.

:D I NOW OWN ALL THE INTERNETZ

Speaking of, how have you adapted to typing? Specifically. Homerow keyboarding might be a little tricky. I imagine it's one of those things that you would adapt to, but I'm curious about the specifics.

I just threw homerow keyboarding out the window. My dad is a software programmer, so I was on the computer from a VERY young age. I just sort of developed my own typing system, and it works great for me. :)

Let me logo that for you.

I JUST WENT FUCKING INSANE. I NEED THIS ON A SHIRT. ACTUALLY, ON EVERYTHING I OWN. I LOVE YOU. Can I use this EVERYWHERE?!

My girlfriend, standing over my shoulder, asks, "Do they charge you less for manicures?"

I actually don't get manicures, but if I ever do, they'd better give me a discount!

With a hand like that, I'd make up some quick prosthetics to wear for the first day of class, and then troll my woodshop teacher with an accident at the table saw!

I've done that before!! I'm a theatre major, so I have access to stage makeup (read: fake blood) and the scene shop... I freaked out our technical director pretty bad once with a stunt involving the table saw. :D

Please god tell me you held up your bloody three finger hand and yelled "and that is why you always leave a note!"

I just started screaming bloody murder, and then collapsed into a giggle fit when the TD finally figured out what was going on. :D

Hey, awesome AMA! I have twin daughters, and one of them has a left hand similar to your right hand. Here's a pic.

My girls turned 7 last January so they'll be starting second grade this week. We've always called it her "lucky hand" kind of like Nemo's lucky fin in Finding Nemo. Like you, it has never slowed her down or stopped her from doing anything. She's completely fearless and not self conscious at all. In Kindergarten and first grade she stood up on the first day of class and showed everyone her hand so that way all the kids could satisfy their curiosity without having to stare and whisper throughout the school year. I was so proud of her when she told me about it, it was totally her idea to do that.

Do you have any tips I could pass along to her about how to deal with other kids? At this age it's not really a big deal for her, but I imagine that might change as she gets a bit older - middle school and high school especially.

Any suggestions for me as her father? Is there anything you wish your parents had done (or not done)?

Are you left handed? If yes do you think that's a result of your right hand being the way it is? My daughter is right-handed but I sometimes wonder if she would have been left-handed otherwise - when she was a baby she picked things up with her left hand first but quickly realized she had a stronger grip and more dexterity with the right hand.

Edit - I'll just post this here, I'd like to reply to everyone individually but I'm at work right now: Thanks to everyone who responded to my post, and most importantly thanks to Thespianna for the AMA! I really appreciate the kind words and I know my daughter will too. You guys and girls are awesome!

First of all, your daughter is incredible. Second, the best advice I can give her is to embrace it. If you joke about it, other people will laugh with you, not at you. They can't hurt you if it's something you embrace. She will have her challenges, but I bet you she will love her hand for it's uniqueness when she gets older. Tell her that another girl with a hand like hers is doing just fine and is very happy, just like she will be. I wish I could meet your amazing little girl. She can do anything she sets her mind to, I promise. Much love to you and your family!

Also, my parents just treated me like their daughter. Never anything special, except to reassure me that there was nothing wrong with me when middle school girls would be awful. That's the best thing they could have done for me. And I am right handed. Your daughter is probably just naturally a righty. :)

Does it feel uncomfortable having people stare at your hand? I would imagine it does, but still whenever I see something like that it just intrigues me a lot and I often find myself staring at people in a way that would make me uncomfortable if I was in their shoes. Kinda makes me feel bad about myself.

Thank you so much for asking this... this is one of the questions I was hoping I'd get. The answer is a resounding YES. There is nothing more uncomfortable than being stared at... it makes me feel like an exhibit. It's awkward, and I usually find myself feeling ashamed and trying to hide it, which generally makes me resent that person. I have so much respect for a person that will notice, and walk right up to me and say, "I don't mean to be rude, but I noticed and I'm curious. Would you mind if I asked what happened to your hand?" This is an entirely different scenario. I'll happily tell this person anything they want to know, and even offer to let them touch my fingers or shake my hand to see what it feels like. When I'm approached and asked in a kind way, it's so much more comfortable and less offensive than someone staring from afar. Thank you for asking!

I once applied for a job at a local blockbuster before they went out of business and got a meeting with the manager. We spoke for about 15 minutes out on the floor and thought we had good rapport. At the end of the "interview", I reached out my right hand to shake and was greeted with an awkward stare followed by a fist bump with a hand that had no fingers on it. I felt bad putting him in this position. He couldn't just come out and say, "I have no hand." My question is, did I act inappropriately and how could this situation be handled differently?

edit: If I recall correctly, he was missing the entire wrist-fingers combo. It was basically a wrist bump.

Absolutely not! He probably laughed about it afterward. There's nothing you could have done differently. I would have laughed my ass off. :)

i saw the pic and it reminded me of these

p.s. i think your hand is very unique and pretty

HOLY SHIT I NEED THEM. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND GLOVES?!

p.s. Thank you! You're very sweet. :3

Just random- I'm an expert knitter. If you want, I'd totally make you some custom gloves, free of charge ('cause I love making them, and my family is pretty tired of getting them as gifts).

...jeez, I hope I don't sound creepy.

I think that's amazing that you'd offer to do that. My mom actually had some custom-made for me for Christmas last year, so I'm set for a while. But thank you SO much, you're such a kind person! :)

FUCKING MEWTWO!

I love you

I KNOW!

I love you back. <3

I'm not sure, but a hand-job in my mind seems wonderful. 40% less surface area, but with higher dexterity.

Do you find this to be true in hand jobs given, in the event you have administered any?

If you aren't into guys, you have a pretty epic shocker there for the ladies.

One of my exes mentioned that I gave the best ones of his life. ;) I can move that hand really fast, too. Apparently that's a plus.

I was going to ask about this. How does this work into you love life? Like when you go on dates, do guys ever seem wierded out by it or anything?

I actually don't have that much of a love life at all. XD The guys I have gone on dates with have all known about it before the dates, so there's never any awkward discovery moments. I used to worry about it as a little girl... I would think that nobody would ever want to marry me because I wasn't "normal." I've realized now that that's bullshit. But hey, I'm still single... if there are any cute redditors out there who want a girl with an awesome hand, let me know! ;)

T-rexes only have two claws. You actually have the hand of an Allosaurus (minus the scales). :)

O_o

Well, consider me educated. :D

What are some of the things have people said with good intentions that ended up being really offensive?

Great question! A few that come to mind:

"Dude, you could totally be in a circus!" "That's really freaky. But in a cool way." "It scared the shit out of me the first time I saw it!" "Are you going to get prosthetic fingers?" "Wow, that's crazy. You seem like such a normal person."

To put that last one in context, my deformity really is barely noticeable. Most people don't have a clue unless I shake their hand, or explicitly do something with it or mention it directly.

Also, calling it a deformity is a bit uncomfortable for me, but I don't know how else to describe it in an online setting. I don't see it as a deformity, I see it as completely normal. I'm right-handed and everything. So whenever anyone calls it a deformity to my face, I tend to get a little put-off by that, too.

Even 5 finger hands look awkward. I wouldn't sweat it.

I don't. :D

Man, I really hope this isn't one of those things that falls into your "ended up being really offensive" pile, but when I looked at the pictures, all I could think was, "That is incredibly cool!" It's not weird at all. It's different, yeah, but in an awesome way. If I met you in person, I'd be inclined to make friends with you just because your hand is so cool.

I hope that sounds not-at-all patronizing, cause I don't mean it that way. I'm just saying I think it's really neat.

Nope, not at all offensive! It actually made me happy. Thanks for your comment!

One of my best friends from college has a physical difference where he has limited use of his left? right? I can't remember, anyway.. one hand/arm he has a hard time using effectively. He has told me all of those exact things.

I appreciate you making this AMA. I hope one day I get the chance to shake your hand.

You just made me so happy. :D Thank you!

when people wave to you, do you feel like they're bragging about their extra fingers? like "look what i got, motherfucker!"?

...Not until now... XD

How do you refer to your fingers (besides your thumb); middle finger and pinky?

What will you do when you need to have fingerprints taken and they ask you to make a print of your index finger? :)

I have a thumb, index finger, and the one on the end is named "Phil," or "Phil the Phalange." I have a pretty funny story about getting fingerprinted for a job, actually... The guy did my left hand first, no problem. Then he went to do my right hand, and asked me to place my fingers on the scanner. I did, and he rolled his eyes at me and said, "Ma'am, I'll need you to put ALL of your fingers on the scanner." After several times of my insisting that they were, he finally took the time to look over, and lost his shit. He was apologizing like his life depended on it, and I was just laughing my ass off. We then realized that there is no "born without them" option on the fingerprinting software, so now I am officially listed as an amputee. I think that gives me complete license to make shit up about where my fingers went.

I suggest a tragic accident while filming on the set of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus 2, which was totally real if they ask. The Crocosaurus spawn got loose from their handlers during a take on a scene being filmed on a 747 at 10,000 feet, and you had to wrestle them all back into submission to save the pilot and the film crew, using only the seat flotation devices and some tranquilizers you MacGuyvered together from the contents of the First Aid kit, the mini-bar, and the snack trolley. The film makers wanted to keep their corner-cutting out of the public eye, so they fired you and blacklisted you from ever working in Hollywood again, but you were simply happy with the lives you saved, not only those aboard the plane, but the many residents of Los Angeles, as the plane was hurtling towards down town at the time. You stoically accepted the loss of both your fingers and your promising career, discarding your Oscar-winning dreams and extra digits to continue to serve man in a background role.

Please tell me you're a man, because I just fell in love.

I think your positive attitude is amazing!

Thank you! I think you're amazing! :D <3

I would LOVE to see a video of you playing classical guitar.

Like I said to someone else, I'll definitely post a clip if I get a break from answering questions! Thanks so much for your interest! :)

This is completely off the wall, but would your slimmer palm be able to slip through a handcuff easily?

Never tried this, but I would imagine so. If I put my thumb and index finger together on my left hand, I can slip my hand and right arm through halfway up to my elbow and back out without my little finger-circle coming apart. :)

Could you post a picture of you giving the middle finger?

No, because as far as I know, I don't have a middle finger... although most people tend to get offended when I point to things above me...

Congratulations, you may be the most dedicated Trekkie ever. :)

Hehe!! I've been told that's what it looks like, but then I make the argument that their sign has two fingers on both sides... At least I can do that with my other hand! :)

I also have a weird looking right hand, yay for us!!!! I have a small hand with all 5 fingers, except the first two are pretty short and used to be webbed in between. Not nearly as cool looking as yours. Ladies with sweet hands unite.

Does your condition have a name? or is it just a genetic defect?

Hooray!! I love meeting other people with unique hands. I immediately feel a bond. :) It doesn't have any specific name, just a congenital malformation. We know it's not genetic, as in I can't pass it on to my future children. What about yours?

I CALL IT EVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

high three INDEED!

Are high fives awkward?

Also awesome AMA!

A little bit. XD So instead, I give high threes, and make people fold down their fingers to match mine. :3 And thank you!

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Or east if I turn it the other way! :D

Have you ever checked out amazingsuperpowers.com????

That comic was made for you!

MY FAMILY! :D Thanks for sharing!!!

I would like to see/hear some of this guitar playing!

Haha, maybe if I get a break from answering questions, I'll post a video or a sound clip. :) Thanks for your interest!

Did you like that part in "meet the robinsons" with the T-rex?

I mention it because you mentioned T-rex's, and that scene is fucking hilarious.

I hope your day is going well! :)

FUCK YES! I love that movie in general, and that scene cracked me up. The "little arms" thing made me laugh too, because my right arm (my right hand is the awesome one) is about 2 inches shorter than my left, so I do generally refer to it as my "little arm." I think the T-Rex is my spirit animal. Too bad they're all dead. :'(

Can you ply video games all fine? Is it hard to hit the shoulder buttons while just supporting the controller with one finger?

All I have to say to this is that I'm the local Mario Kart champion. That should answer your question. ;)

Would you mind posting a picture? I'm sure we would all love to see it. Are you right or left handed?

Sure! I'm right handed. People are usually confused by that, until I tell them to hold a pencil and see how many fingers THEY'RE using. :) I'll get that picture up in just a second.

From your picture your hand looks kinda cool. The palm is proportionate and oddly it looks normal. Good luck!

Thanks! That's why it takes most people a while to notice that anything's different--it looks shockingly normal. :)

So, not to sound condescending, what is something you can't do with your right hand? I'm sure you can do most stuff with 2 fingers that people do with 4.

Push-ups. I'm totally serious. I don't have enough balance, because of the different sizes of my hands and length of my arms. I was really pathetic in gym class. XD

Have you ever heard jokes about bowling?

YES! I figure that if there is a God, he must have a fucked-up sense of humor, because the only thing that I do left-handed is bowl. XD

I'm sure you've found some disadvantages to this condition. For example, playing the guitar is harder. Have you found any advantage? Are the three fingers on your right hand more strong or flexible than the five on your left?

By the way, I want to share this.

I've seen Mark Playle on youtube before, and I find him absolutely amazing. Thanks for linking to him! I've been told by my orthopedist that my little hand actually squeezes harder than my left, which leads him to believe that the muscles are stronger in that hand due to compensation and use. Another clear advantage is being a hit at parties.