Comments: 323 • Responses: 105  • Date: 

goblin_welder71 karma

Is it true that a lot of sex worker’s clients just contact you for non-sexual intimate contact (like hugs, cuddles, someone to talk and eat with)?

dckholster135 karma


avg-erryday-normlguy4 karma

As a follow up, what, in your opinion, seems to be the percentage of clients who just want company/cuddling/non-sexual activites?

dckholster1 karma

For me, 0.01%. Like most clients want that stuff as well as the sex, but not instead of

nigel_perkins48 karma

What’s the weirdest thing a client has requested?

dckholster117 karma

To go to his little sisters birthday party with him.

nigel_perkins13 karma

Seriously? That must’ve been hella awkward

dckholster65 karma

I declined, but it was sweet of him lol. I did accidentally meet one of my regulars Mum one time when I was at his house and she popped in for a visit, though

nigel_perkins11 karma

I bet he had a rough time explaining that lol

dckholster67 karma

It was actually fine, he had just recently told her that he sees an escort so she might have suspected, but I just introduced myself as his friend (true) and was just hanging out with him and his dog so no big deal either way I think. He still wanted to hide under his bed I think though 😂

nigel_perkins17 karma

Lol, she’s a great mom though, being understanding of her son getting an escort and all. I never knew escorts became friends with some of their clients though, which is actually pretty cool

dckholster36 karma

Yeah she sounds lovely, and he’s very strong and independent and I imagine didn’t give her the opportunity to make a big deal about it.

I’m not sure how common it is but yeah I’ve got a couple of clients I’d consider friends

anotheruser3040 karma

What was your rate?

dckholster46 karma

400-550 an hour, depending

Turdsworth29 karma

What’s the minimum? I imagine it’s like a appliance repair person where you have to pay $85 to get them to show up.

dckholster48 karma

Normally I do 15 minutes as my minimum

treeshadsouls19 karma

I'm curious, what can be accomplished in 15 minutes? Like actual full sex acts?

dckholster48 karma

Yep, it’s usually just a simple straight to it sex thing

Cambercym100 karma

What do you do with the other 13 minutes?

dckholster73 karma

You joke but in a 15 minute the sex usually only lasts that long, if that. The other 13 is arrival/chatting/leaving

Turdsworth-4 karma

You’re really willing to get dolled up, travel, and the actual work for $100-150?

dckholster81 karma

I wouldn’t travel for a short booking no, 95% of my work is them coming to me, and when I’m Taking bookings I’m ready all day so it’s not really much extra work other than doing the actual booking. Also I charge $200 for a 15 minute, but I do do cheaper quickies for regulars sometimes.

Also, $100-150 is a lot of money for some people, especially for 15 minutes work, there are plenty of workers who charge that for much more time and that works for them, there’s no shame in it

horsesaregay4 karma

How much do you earn for a day of work after getting dressed and traveling etc?

dckholster22 karma

Varies greatly depending on how many bookings I get, I’ve made $0 in a day and I’ve made 4 grand in a day before

loveisjustchemicals39 karma

How does one find a decent escort, as a woman (no gender preference)? I’m in a sex worker friendly place, but it’s not legal for sex acts with mutual touching for money.

dckholster31 karma

Start on google (escorts [your area]) and see what sort of directories come up. I cant help as it’s different all over the world, but sometimes there are reviews on the directories. Read the ads, maybe go for somebody who has a social media presence if that would make you feel kore secure? It’s hard for me to give advice on, I get super overwhelmed when I have tried to figure out who to book and I know half of them

cygnisinteranates38 karma


dckholster1 karma

Nope, I use lube. It can get sore if I haven’t worked for ages and then have a super busy day, but I don’t think not being attracted to them is a factor.

Not really, were I not a sex worker I might have sex with more men in my personal life, but that’s not really a factor at the moment as I have a girlfriend

Blob-Of-Ambiguity36 karma

How has the pandemic affected your business and your industry as a whole?

How have you adapted and what do you see others in your industry doing?

dckholster85 karma

I was very lucky to get in one last lucrative trip (I mostly work on trips interstate) before they shut down travel and nonessential business. Now, personally, because I can’t travel and I don’t have a base of regular clients in my home city, my income wouldn’t be viable even if I tried to work, which I haven’t been in the interests of social distancing. As of a couple of days ago, engaging in sex work is punishable where I live due to lockdown rules.

Some folks who don’t have a choice are still working, and there is still a demand for it, though reduced and the clients are taking a lot of liberties (they always get more entitled as a group when we are more vulnerable). Most are trying not to work, trying to get on to the government relief programs or relying on savings. This presents a lot of issues for workers who are not able to be ‘out’ or afford an accountant, or folks who are not Australian citizens.

Those who are able to and have the means to work online are hustling on cam sites, onlyfans, custom content creation, Skype sessions etc. but for the most part we are in the same position most sole traders/arts sector people are in.

Hommus_Dip34 karma

Are those sugar daddy arrangements the ideal buisness? Do you get paid to stay with a rich fella and be flaunted and doted upon?

dckholster120 karma

Nah I absolutely hated it. Those guys are sooo much more pushy and entitled than escort clients, they want so much of you for free and are usually just the worst kind of dudes. Not suited to my personality at all. Some people luck out with it, but it was always a slog for me.

UnappreciatedComment27 karma

I mean, it's not really free if it's a Sugar Daddy scenario is it? The dude knows he basically has your attention on lease.

dckholster80 karma

Compared to what one would make escorting and giving them much less of your time, energy and security, it’s definitely working for free. Most guys on SD websites are looking for somebody to use for sex (usually unprotected) for far less than they would pay an escort

Hommus_Dip14 karma

Right i had this kind of pretty woman scenario in my head where you get all kinds of things bought for you and lavish restaurants etc. Instead it sounds like repeated sex with the same bloke and you can't go home inbetween

dckholster27 karma

I don’t think many SD situations are like, live in girlfriend situations, thats definitely not what I have experience in

Purplestripes83 karma

I thought SD pricing would be way higher than regular escort work? If not, then why would anyone get into the SD business?

leslie-knope-yall78 karma

Is it ok if I chime in? I'm not the OP but have escorted and been in sugar relationships, most of whoch were arranged through website services. Over a number of years I observed that sugar daddies will always fill their profiles with intentions of spoiling a special someone, taking us on vacations, building a deep relationship or mentorship... etc. In reality, of the dozens I have spoken to more personally, what every one of them has been looking for is a much younger, loyal, discrete, unprotected, personal escort who will be on call for them, for sex only, in exchange for much less than what you can make escorting. No dinners, no showing you off (since they are often married) Add to that, the fact that as an escort you can see several clients per day or week... once I joined an escort agency I never went back to sugaring.

dckholster46 karma

Thanks for chiming in with that and putting that so much more eloquently than I could!

dckholster21 karma

Some people are just better suited to that than escorting. They might not have it be their primary income and want more anonymity, to not have to see lots of clients etc.

tenniskitten29 karma

How guarded are you with revealing your profession to acquaintances? How do you perform sexual acts when you are really unattracted to someone or they are physically repulsive in some way?

dckholster73 karma

Not at all guarded, I’m lucky in that I can be totally out about it. I only lie about it when it’s somebody I’ll never see again and I can’t be bothered having that conversation.

I use lube!

OilCountryFan26 karma

Just curious...why did you get into this field? I'm always curious to know that and which did you prefer? Ie best money, best experience, just fun...

dckholster43 karma

I was raised with no shame around sexuality and a bit of an underdog complex so the sex industry fit me perfectly, lol. I thought stripping sounded cool, so when I moved to the city and had to get a job a strip club was the first place I tried, and the rest is history

iambluest10 karma

When and how did you begin expressing yourself as a sexual person?

dckholster24 karma

I became sexually active when I was 14 with a partner of a couple of years and was very taken with it, lol. I was with that guy for another year or so and then moved to the city where I expressed myself as a sexual person extensively

contorta_1 karma

how old was that partner?

dckholster21 karma

Also 14

swordsfishes1 karma

How did you learn to strip? Did you have prior experience in dance that helped with the physical parts, or did you basically learn on the job?

dckholster2 karma

Trial by fire. No dance experience, still dance like a white dad. IMHO not much of stripping resembles dancing anyway. I learned by watching the other girls mostly

thats_hella_cool26 karma

What’s the process between being initially approached for services by someone new and then the first meet with that person like? Such as... do you require pictures of the person beforehand? Arrangements for payment? If you travel to them, do you let a friend know where you’re going to be or leave any kind of bread trail behind just incase something goes wrong?

Also, have you ever been “catfished” by a client or later stiffed (financially speaking in this case) by a client?

dckholster42 karma

The way I work is I have a work phone number and we text or call about the booking, setting up logistics and whatnot, then they arrive at my apartment. They bring me cash mostly. I don’t require pictures or anything, unless I would be going to their place but I almost never do that. Much prefer to work from my own space.

I’ve had lots of clients make fake bookings and not show up, it’s very common unfortunately. I take cash when they get there so they don’t have an opportunity to stiff me financially other than not turning up

nurdpie10 karma

Have you ever had any instances of clients becoming stalkers or creeps? It seems like a risky move to have them come to your actual apartment but I totally understand wanting to be in your own space.

dckholster1 karma

They don’t come to my actual apartment unless they’re friends, I book apartments to work from.

Luckily no not yet, it helps mostly working interstate

PamPoovey8118 karma

How do you ensure your physical safety?

dckholster65 karma

Privilege in that I can work from secure apartments, don’t work late at night or see wasted clients, and am able to price myself into the middle of the road... None of that ensures it but it means I almost never have any trouble, which is unfortunately not the case for less privileged workers


What are your opinions on criminalization, decriminalization and legalization of sex work?

dckholster70 karma

In order to minimise harm to consensual sex workers, survival workers and trafficked people alike, it should be universally decriminalised

yodaface4 karma

I agree but then wouldn't your price plummet from 500 an hour to like 50. How much do you have to make to make it worthwhile to sleep with strangers?

dckholster1 karma

It’s legal where I live and I can still charge the former.

throwawaypeen12345_212 karma

Hi there!

Basically I'm a previous user of sex workers and I have a unique situation.

Basically I lost my penis due to Cancer and saw a SW a couple of times to help me get off and it was really unique and she's an amazing person.

My question is how challenging would that be as a sex worker to work with someone like me? And would there be anything better/worse than your usual encounters?

dckholster2 karma

Not every SW is going to be comfortable with navigating that, but there are plenty who are! As long as you’re upfront about it in the booking process I wouldn’t worry. I’m not sure how challenging your situation is or what the booking would entail but personally I’d enjoy the experience for how unique it is I think

voicu909 karma

What does your retirement plan look like for working in that industry?

dckholster15 karma

I’ve no desire to quit the sex industry any time soon, but I’m a perpetual studier and like doing different things so I’ve got some qualifications and will likely have more in future for other industries if I want to supplement/change industries. I was about to get a side job as a cook right when pandemic hit!

Purplestripes88 karma

Did you have to go through a number of 'crap' years in your industry before you could get to where you wanted to be? If so, could you detail, eg. How long was the period, what were the circumstances that made it bad, what is the "sweet spot" in terms of career, etc.

dckholster13 karma

Not really! You can pretty much get in at the same level as everyone else, barring being somebody with an established brand (which means more exposure and/or higher end work) but it does take some time to settle into it and figure out what mode of working works best for you. I’ve worked in lots of different settings but none of them were strictly necessary to “progress” in the industry. I benefited from working my way up to full service but it could be done that somebody jumps straight from nothing to escorting

Purplestripes82 karma

Before starting out, did you conduct research into your potential work (and if so, what kind and how much)?

Did the demands of the job meet your expectations? Or was it easier / more difficult?

What was the most surprising thing you learned on the job?

Have you gained any skills you feel would translate well into other industries / job paths? Or anything that has improved your personal life?

dckholster17 karma

Yeah, there was a super active stripper community on tumblr back then with lots of industry advice on it, and some forums of the same than I trawled for months before starting. I was the first of my friends to get into the industry so that’s all I had available, but it was heaps.

I don’t really remember what I expected, but I haven’t really been surprised by much of the day to day of it.

I think the most surprising thing I learned has been about how men feel about women’s bodies and the variance/imperfections in them. It’s honestly been great to learn how there’s always somebody into whatever you hate about your body. Sure, that doesn’t fix the problems conventional beauty standards cause, but on an individual level it’s powerful if you get to experience that. Again, speaking from a lot of privilege here being white/able bodied/cis but thats my experience.

Conflict management skills, admin and bookkeeping skills, massage, making people think you like them...

Master_Hype7 karma

How difficult is it for you to have a serious romantic relationship (if you even want one)?

dckholster31 karma

Not difficult at all for me, I live in an area/socialise in a community that’s pretty progressive and queer so sex work hasn’t proved a big deal in my dating pool. Even when I was dating straight men I found partners who it worked for. I’m super into being in love so I make it a priority, always

seanbs891 karma

He asked about serious relationships, are you talking about long terms or just dating? Because you said dating. This was actually my question too

dckholster27 karma

I would use the term dating for long term relationships too, just semantics. The duration of the relationships I’ve been in while working are 4 years, 1 year, 2 years and have been with my current partner 4 months so far. I’m not super into dating without the intention of it becoming a long term thing, so yeah

seanbs894 karma

Cool, I was curious because I had a friend who was an escort and said dating was difficult. Could have been her ahem drug addictions.

dckholster16 karma

Some people find it very difficult, I think it’s generally much harder for straight women but it depends on the sort of people you want to date. Like, if I wasn’t a sex worker I still probably wouldn’t end up dating anybody who couldn’t date a sex worker so it hasn’t affected my market at all if that makes sense

missanthropy091 karma

You stated “when you we’re dating g straight men.” I don’t know how to phrase this well, but I guess do you feel that your work plays a role in why you are not now dating straight men? How is it still having sex with straight men if that isn’t really your thing?

dckholster2 karma

Work probably plays a bit of a role, but the biggest factor was probably that I started dating women and realised what I’d been missing out on. I’m still into men a bit.

I’m not having sex at work for my enjoyment so my sexuality plays zero role in it, tbh

Maikentra16246 karma

I see that you do erotic massage. My fiance lovessssss erotic massage. How would I learn to do this? Do you have any resources?

I think it's called nuru massage? Nubu? I don't know.

dckholster1 karma

Nuru is one kind, but it’s just a style.

There’s lots of porn of erotic massage, and I would imagine if you googled it there would be guides, have you had a look?

But honestly if your partner loves it just ask them to tell/show you what they like and do that

Muse21306 karma

I have several questions.

  1. Is kissing allowed?
  2. Have you ever had any virgin clients? What is it like?
  3. How do you keep yourself safe from men who may be dangerous?

dckholster25 karma

For me kissing is a part of my service, yep!

I have had virgin clients, they’re usually just super nervous.

Don’t work late at night, don’t go to their houses, ‘middle class’ pricing, I don’t get my much trouble tbh

LoveMeSomeSilly8 karma

Are you not worried about clients knowing where you live? I'd be scared of a stalker.

dckholster2 karma

I only work from home with clients I’ve known for years

die_balsak6 karma

I read some of the questions here and now I'm confused, are you male or in a lesbian relationship?

dckholster15 karma

Lesbian relationship

die_balsak6 karma

Do you have any female clients as well?

dckholster21 karma

No, I like to keep that personal for myself

die_balsak1 karma

What in your opinion can the client do that makes it better for you?

dckholster1 karma

Know what he wants, be clear about that, slam it out, have a good conversation. My #1 peeve at work is when they drag out the sex/foreplay under the guise of making ME feel good. If you wanna do that for you, sure. But don’t do it for me.

Norgeroff5 karma

What color is your toothbrush?

dckholster27 karma

Orange, because my gf when presented with options told me she’d rather die than use an orange toothbrush 🙄

nlj19915 karma

  1. What's the biggest "tip" you've ever received?

  2. Have you ever seen any celebrities come in? And also, how do you ladies (co-workers) determine who gets to take care of them?

  3. A little OT but what do you think about "gay for pay" (I guess for both genders)? Specifically for a guy, can they actually "get hard" for a male when they like woman? As a gay man myself, I could never get hard from a woman, but I thought the whole gay for pay very interesting because I feel like eventually, you do become "bisexual", no longer "gay for pay".

dckholster18 karma

About $400 I think! An extra hours booking fee at the end, that was nice.

I don’t think I’ve seen any celebrities, I feel like they go for escort agencies, which I’ve never worked for. Clients pick the worker, not the other way around, so it wouldn’t be up to us.

Tbh most of the workers I know are straight for pay women so it’s super common, I don’t actually know any gay for pay male escorts. I do know a lot of trans women who are straight for pay though, and it’s a bit different for them for complex reasons but I’ve known them to only offer bottoming services if they’re unable to get hard, or sometimes take viagra. Some people are also just got at retreating into their own head and making it work no matter what’s going on with the other person.

I disagree vehemently that you adapt to that sexuality if you do sex work with that gender for long enough, as in my and others experience it stays the same or goes the other way (bi women phasing out dating men in their personal life etc.)

PamPoovey814 karma

How much concern/caution is given to STDs/STIs? Do you see that a lot, or is everyone pretty clean?

dckholster17 karma

Depends on the person and the setting they work in but in general folks are pretty careful. When I work at the brothel I’ll see clients come in with obvious STI’s maybe once every couple of shifts, and I doubt many clients get tested, but for the workers our sexual health is our livelihood, y’know?

PamPoovey812 karma

So when you see that, do you turn them away? Use protection? And you don't strike me as a person who enjoys and cares about their work enough to not look out for what makes you money ;)

dckholster13 karma

Also matching archer reference usernames!

dckholster12 karma

I turn them away or offer a handjob only service, depending.

I’m confused about your second comment, what do you mean?

PamPoovey815 karma

Just responding to your comment about looking out for your sexual health because it's how you make a living. Intended to be complimentary.

dckholster9 karma

Okey doke! I mean I enjoy and care about my work in a way that makes me want to do it in a sustainable way, but I also just like don’t want to get cum in me haha

Rand0mhero804 karma

How long after/before/if you graduated high school did you get into this and how?

dckholster9 karma

About a year after, at the end of my first year of uni. It was the first time I needed a job, I was living on student welfare until then

RosebudWhip4 karma

What would you say to a young girl who was thinking of becoming a sex worker? You sound like you have a good grip on your profession and it's working out for you, but not everyone will find it a positive experience. The world is a scary place and there are a lot of people who disrespect or who would do harm out there.

dckholster21 karma

I give them that exact disclaimer, that it’s not a good industry for everyone and for some it’s very difficult or damaging. Some people have considered this, some have been fed the easy money just lay back and open your legs rhetoric so they haven’t considered that it can be hard. I try and talk them through this and get an idea of their personality and relationship to sexuality, and if they’re keen I support them in getting a shift at a brothel to see how it goes for them

kconnors3 karma

How common are requests for you to give over the knee spankings ?

dckholster10 karma

Pretty rare, as I don’t do domination services

r36013 karma

how much do you make per year?

dckholster1 karma

Its fluctuated a lot every year I’ve worked

AzMatSuit2 karma

What has been the most repulsive, unattractive thing a client has asked for/done? And did you end up doing it?

dckholster2 karma

Wanted me to take used condoms from other clients out of the bin for him to play with. I did not.

ali2k51 karma

Do you think your work makes a difference in this world?

Spiritually, what have you gained, what have you lost?

dckholster21 karma

Good question. I’d say it makes a bit of a difference, not so much for the clients who use it very much as a luxury service, but for the ones who are very lonely and lacking intimacy in their lives I know for a fact that sex workers have been a significant positive influence.

I don’t really relate to spirituality as a concept so I can’t answer that

incraved1 karma

How often do you get guys with no sexual experience and what's it like in terms of how it's for them and for you? Also what's the average age and common traits/background of guys like that?

Also, nice username

dckholster1 karma

Often enough. It’s not really a big deal, they’re just super nervous and require more guidance but otherwise not that different to any other booking.

Maybe 30’s/40’s, I personally see a lot of tradies, and in IT, all backgrounds but most commonly Australian or Indian

incraved1 karma

Interesting, I didn't expect 30s and 40s, I was thinking late 20s or early 30s.

Australians? Like, white Australians?

dckholster1 karma

I mean all ages come through.

I meant people of all backgrounds who were born here by Australians, so not just white folk

[deleted]1 karma


dckholster1 karma

Only a little bit, mostly back when I was stripping. It’s a rare exception to me not doing domination services because I find it super fun, doesn’t do anything for me sexually though

WCC5D1F0E1 karma

Ever been hired by someone famous?

Edit: Not looking for you to name names, just interested if it happens and how often.

dckholster3 karma

Not to my knowledge!

biigbrain2221 karma

How do you generally meet your clients?

dckholster2 karma

I advertise online and they contact me

in_digo111 karma

I was wondering, do you ever turn anybody down upon arrival of your meet because you find them physically uncomfortably unattractive or they give you weird vibes? Or do you just go for it anyways

dckholster1 karma

Nope, I’m not doing it so I can get off. I turn them down if they have a visible STI, are super intoxicated, or are being rude or abusive

Retireegeorge1 karma

You know that question in tax pack about personal services? Is that the ATO’s way of talking about sex?

dckholster2 karma

There is a whole section for adult services!

Retireegeorge1 karma

One small business operator to another, keep up the good work and look after yourself

dckholster2 karma

Thanks mate!

Rafsoto1 karma

If you meet someone who books for an hour and is done in 15 mins. Can he get another round once he’s ready and within the hour? Or doors only open once?

dckholster2 karma

Yep, they book an amount of time not an amount of orgasms. Often the rest is talking though

Cubsfan781 karma

Did you have nerves on your first call?

dckholster16 karma

Absolutely! I worked my way up gradually in the industry, so by the time I went on my first private escorting booking I’d already been doing full service work in brothels, and before that working in strip clubs etc. so it wasn’t going straight into that blind, but yep still nervous as hell! It was fine though, all of my first clients in new settings have been older guys who are like, professional punters and like taking new girls under their wing, so to speak

kankenaiyo1 karma

What is your education background, and what do you intend to do after you quit this? Assuming you would, eventually.

dckholster2 karma

I studied health science, physiotherapy and commercial cookery so far. It’s not an immediate concern, but I have lots of things I could get into

questnnansr1 karma

What are your plans for retirement? What do you plan on doing for income at 40+

dckholster1 karma

Continue making money from sex work like all the other 40+ sex workers I know, investments, working in another industry

69clementines1 karma

How much do you actually have to try during sex? Can you just lay there?

dckholster1 karma

Not if you want them to come and see you again. Have you ever had good sex? It’s like that

BenDoverNibba1 karma

Have you ever encountered customers with a foot fetish?

dckholster1 karma

Rarely because they text us a lot but never book, they just want pictures of your feet 🙄

skimasktrio1 karma

Would you become a wealthy persons mistress?

dckholster1 karma

I’m probably several wealthy persons mistress lol

shinigurai1 karma

How do I find a person such as yourself in my area?

dckholster1 karma

Google ‘escorts [your area]’

shinigurai1 karma

Yeah that's just a rabbit hole of scam sites and trojans.

Is that how your clients normally find you...?

dckholster1 karma

Yeah, there are a few big Australian directories that I advertise on. It’s harder if you’re in somewhere where sex work isn’t legal. But some of the highest traffic directories often look like absolute trash, maybe look at a bunch of them and see if you can find people advertising on multiple platforms? Or escorts personal websites?

shinigurai1 karma

I think Backpage is the only site in my area that isn't a scam, but, yes, sex work is illegal here.

dckholster1 karma

Use backpage then, though I don’t know what it’s like now as it’s obviously run by different people than the original backpage was. I’ll ask around and see if there’s another place US based SW advertise but the thing about it being illegal and losing our relatable platforms is that it’s gonna be hard to find a nice directory

shinigurai1 karma

I know there are sites in my area that do it. A friend of an ex-girlfriend was an escort in our area, but I respected both of them too much to ask how she found clients and now I have no idea how to get in touch with her.

dckholster1 karma

Response from a colleague:

Slixa, Eros (btw- it's absolutely corrupt and unethical) and Tryst are the sites I'm aware of

shinigurai1 karma

Interesting, thanks for the info. Can you tell me what's corrupt about Eros?

dckholster1 karma

I’m sure lots of other reasons, the one I know of is they collaborate with law enforcement to harm sex workers within and entering the US, massive security breaches...

buro20181 karma

You said in another post you travel interstate for your business predominantly. Is that to attend business conferences and sports events? If that’s the case; which have you been to for business?

  1. Super Bowl
  2. World Series
  3. NBA Playoffs
  4. World Cup
  5. Republican National Convention
  6. Democratic National Convention
  7. Any las Vegas technical conventions (CEA, Interop, AVian)
  8. Fleet week; NYC
  9. Bike week Daytona
  10. Bike Week ; North Dakota
  11. Spring Break anywhere

If you have attended; which was the most profitable? On a side note, have you ever been asked to travel to the Middle East for a “party” with a prince or sheik?

dckholster1 karma

I’m in Australia.

I travel regularly interstate because that’s the format of work that works best for me, and I find I do well in smaller cities, is all.

We do occasionally get those requests! Which is so weird

Abtfta2181 karma

Totally random question, so I hope it doesn't offend. You've mentioned you're cis gendered in a relatively open community. Have you ever heard of MTF or FTM trans that approach sex work in the same manner as you, and have similar experiences? Or do they often end up with fetish clients that make the work more demanding emotionally/physically? Obviously, the question depends on whether you know any people in your community who do the same work.

dckholster1 karma

A lot of my friends are trans women who are sex workers, including my ex who I have worked with in different settings a lot.

The work is more demanding for them because the bulk of the clients are fetishising their gender, which means a lot of having to identify themselves in ways they might not be comfortable with (shemale, ladyboys etc.) and I’ve seen first hand how even brothel staff will barely refer to them as women, let alone the clients. They also face much much more aggression and violence from the clients, because men are often pretty fucked up about their sexualities, which I’m sure you can imagine comes up when in a trans brothel.

The work itself is a bit more demanding for trans women as it’s demanded of them that they get hard and top a lot of the time, which isn’t always possible for that woman.

It’s also a smaller pool of clientele, and so less opportunity to be ‘high end’, a higher proportion of trans workers are street based or brothel based than private escorts. That said, my ex and I have quite a few common clients from when we go on trips together, not all of these guys are confused and violent. There are also a higher proportion of trans workers who struggle more with the work because they would rather not be doing SW, but trans people face more employment discrimination in other fields, mental health issues, socioeconomic disadvantage and often need very expensive surgeries that mean sex work is their only viable option. Not all, but it’s a factor.

This is a massive simplification on a very complex topic that I’m not sure I’m doing justice to as a cis person.

WhiskySippingNerd1 karma

Okay, so I have 3 questions, if you don't mind, just for my research paper; 1. Do you have any feeling that some of your customers may need some serious psychological or mental helps, regarding their sexual frustration? 2. Did you have any requests for just having a deep, meaningful conversations or just to provide companies with any of your clients? 3. What is your opinion on the whole idea that some cultures, including some parts of the western world may find your profession not very friendly to their worldviews? Does it bother you sometimes or you simply don't care? I'm doing a research paper on how worldviews about taboo subjects change overtime. And, it will mean a lot to me if you let me include your opinions as an anonymous subject.

dckholster2 karma

  1. I think pretty much everyone needs to go to therapy, most of my customers included. Occasionally I see somebody who has a serious sex addiction, and I talk to them about that then.

  2. They always want sex, they often want intimate conversation/company as well.

  3. That has been my experience, yes. Of course it bothers me because it makes me less safe, and causes a lot of harm to less privileged sex workers, but I try not to get into too many arguments about it anymore because it takes a lot of time and patience and withstanding abuse to change peoples minds, and I’ve done my time in those trenches.

MenudoMenudo1 karma

How many sex workers are still working right now do you think?

dckholster2 karma

No idea, you could probably find out by checking a local directory

[deleted]0 karma


dckholster10 karma

Not my circus, not my monkeys

NCTrumpFan0 karma

What's your favorite form of birth control, and the form you use most often with your clients?

dckholster6 karma

Fucking people who can’t get me pregnant, mostly. But with clients I always use condoms.

NCTrumpFan0 karma

Male or female?

dckholster1 karma


NCTrumpFan0 karma

Do you put the condom on his penis or inside your vagina?

dckholster3 karma

On their penises, the usual way.

NCTrumpFan-2 karma

Interesting. I would think a sex worker like you wouldn't take any chances and would be prepared with a female condom.

dckholster4 karma

I am prepared with normal condoms, I’ve not known any sex workers who use female condoms regularly. When used properly regular condoms are effective so I’m not sure why I would use an internal one. I feel like most clients would think it was weird, and I do find them to be more difficult to use

NCTrumpFan2 karma

OK. I didn't know that. I don't usually talk to sex workers on Reddit. That's good to know.

dckholster3 karma

All good! Also I use condone for oral sex too

blove1150r-3 karma

Are men assholes?

dckholster16 karma

Some, yeah. Not most though. Most people are doing their best.

Mazzic518-5 karma

Just be a cam chick or start an onlyfans?

dckholster4 karma

Cam work has never been good for me, I don’t think I’m any better suited to it than any given non SW unfortunately. Plus, everyone and their dog, SW or otherwise are flooding adult content creation at the moment so it would be hard to get my foot in the door without having marketed myself as an online presence previously. That said, I will probably check out onlyfans if for no other reason than sheer boredom eventually

lurkingforinfo666-52 karma

Why don’t you get a real job ?

dckholster65 karma

Aw man I tried to but the echos emanating from my gaping vagina were distracting everyone in the office

Hetstaine-3 karma

Nice, i like your style.

To add to that theme, what does your man think? I would struggle knowing my lady is sharing her body and personality in intimate situations.

Is it hard to not become slightly attached to nice return customers, especially if they flip your switch sexually and personality wise?

dckholster9 karma

I don’t have a man, but my girl is fine, she’s dated sex workers before and is familiar enough with the industry that it doesn’t bother her. Honestly I’ve had 4 long term relationships over the course of my sex work career and some have been more comfortable than others with how involved they want to be/how much detail they want to hear but it’s never been a big point of struggle or conflict in my relationships, even with the men. That’s not because everyone is capable of dating a sex worker comfortably, they’re not, but enough people are that it’s not been an issue for me.

I consider a couple of my regulars to be good friends, sure. But I’ve never wanted to date one. I’ve almost never been single while doing this so it’s probably a lot to do with that, but I also have a very different mindset at work than I do in my personal life so even the good sex isn’t really “good sex” and I don’t get attached, which is funny because I get attached soooo hard in my personal life

Hetstaine1 karma

Nice that you can make it work, i don't think i could :) cheers and have a great day, week and life!

dckholster3 karma

You too!

No shame in that, I thought even I would struggle a bit dating a sex worker, turned out it was mostly okay. What’s ‘normal’ for the groups you roll in really impacts ability/inclination to change thought patterns around that stuff, so I’m lucky

newenglandredshirt1 karma

So do you have clients of both genders?

dckholster6 karma

I actually haven’t had a female client for many years, it’s not a common request for me (some workers market for that) and I like to stick with what I know with clients, I quite like keeping women as a personal thing for me

Mazzic518-14 karma

Have someone fill it up then. Lol.

dckholster9 karma

mate.... the pandemic....

Mazzic518-14 karma

I'd offer but I am 7000 miles away

dckholster16 karma

Thank you but its not a lack of offers it’s social distancing buddy

lurkingforinfo666-44 karma

More like the stench from you std ridden vagina.

dckholster26 karma

Did it make you feel good to do a less funny version of the joke I already made?

spider-pie6 karma

Dude. You are so fucking brilliant. I love this one.

dckholster5 karma

Thanks mate!

lurkingforinfo666-42 karma

Did it make you feel good not answering a question why you are working a sex work Job as opposed to a real job that doesn’t involve selling your body ? And instead making a joke about your stinky snatch? Don’t make an AMA if you aren’t going to answer the questions.

Let all your simps who pay for sex for a crumb of your smelly gaped out vagina defend you.

dckholster19 karma

That does make me feel good, actually, especially your increasing levels of frustration!

lurkingforinfo666-20 karma

I’m far from frustrated, I’ll just assume you are lazy don’t have an education and take the easy way out selling your nasty pussy for money to losers who need to pay for sex than, since you won’t give a valid reason why you would choose such a filthy “profession”. Have a nice day.

dckholster15 karma

You sound frustrated, is all

lurkingforinfo666-2 karma

Not frustrated just was asking a question in a AMA to the person making it why they do what they do and what the reason is over a Normal job. You seemed pretty frustrated by not answering and making a joke. But ok. Again I’ll just assume you are lazy.

dckholster16 karma

If that’s what you had asked and it wasn’t so obvious you’re trolling, I would have answered. But I’ve had this exact conversation enough times to know you’re impervious to logic, so I’m not gonna! I just hope I can get to sleep tonight knowing that you think I’m lazy 😢