I am a former porn store employee! AMA

How many "I Rub My Duckie" vibrators (NSFW) would you guess you sold in your time there? The last time I went to a sex shop I was surprised to find they were sold out!

NONE! 0 we eventually ended up marking those down by like 75% lol

Ever play any tricks on customers?

i only ask because i once dragged a rather naive friend into a store, and while i was browsing for something for me and my adventurous girlfriend to enjoy, he awkwardly stood near the door by the cash register. when i returned to him, he was deep in conversation with the guy behind the counter, and excitedly showed me the brand new sex toy the guy was demoing to him, a voice operated vibrating egg.

His little face dropped when i explained that the egg was remote controlled, and the clerk was pressing the button to turn on and off the egg on him, as a joke.

I've always wondered if there were any other standard sex store employee japes and tricks that you pull on customers, or even stuff that you do to new employees similar to the classic building site trick of sending someone for a long weight (wait).

No but that is a pretty funny joke. Wish I would have did something like that.

How common was it for men to buy sex toys for themselves, or girls buying toys for their guys? I always hear about dildos and anal beads, but for some reason fleshlights seem to be far less talked about.

Pretty common. I'd say around 99% of men coming in for a toy of their own had no idea what they're were getting themselves into though. We had a huge selection of masturbators but by the end the visit and with help from the employees they would leave happy. Women coming in and buying masturbators for the men in their life wasn't a very common thing unfortunately. I would always suggest it if they asked for any help or advice in the bedroom, they're great for foreplay. But the majority of the time women just kind of shrugged that idea off.

I bought a fleshlight in a porn store. AMA.

regular one? or a porn star one?

Hey hey hey. WE make the questions here, buddy!

sorry... just curious :p

Are the porn star ones better?

no just the lips are different lol

What is your favourite type of cheese?

Swiss

Was there a particular reason you wanted to work there? Interest in porn? Good pay? Benefits?

Pay sucked. I really did enjoy helping customers figure out their body and what they can do in their marriage or relationship to just better themselves and they're partner. Would totally do it again just not another store with an arcade lol

Also, what do you think was the most "exotic" item sold in the store?

Definitely the large pieces. I always found the fisting hands pretty out there lol

How big was the largest dong you sold?

We had one dong called the cockzilla, it was a big black and 17 inches that's the biggest I can remember

What kind of mess did you have to clean at the video arcade?

Poop, cum, piss. Most people had the "decency" to at least do it in the trash though.

Nasty. Hope you wore gloves or something. Thanks for answering though.

OF COURSE. I'd double up on gloves while cleaning

What was the most awkward situation you got into while working there? Did any of the customers with uncontrollable, raging boners forget it was a shop for buying material and offer you money to finish them off?

Hmm I once had a customer ask me to do fetish lingerie modeling and after I said no he then said "well you could get good money for pictures of your feet." Pretty awkward

Have you ever bought something for yourself?

Of course. I wouldn't have been such a great saleswoman without first hand experience.

What was it like when you saw someone you knew as a customer? Any awkward encounters? (Teacher, clergy, friend's parent, etc.)

It wasn't really awkward. I know for them it may have been. But I tried to make anybody that I knew that came into the store as comfortable as possible just because it's kind of already awkward walking into a porn store for most people

Did you ever hook-up with a customer?

No way. I did meet my current boyfriend there but he was a co-worker.

Were the old men or the stall doors more crustier?

Definitely the old men

What do women buy (apart from dildos) that a fella could purchase for her as a gift? I'm not a creep but wanna buy something for the wife.

Clitorial stims, bullets, eggs ect. Massage oils are great. I always recommended the candles that burn into massage oils they smell amazing and don't get too hot. Maybe look into beginners bondage items? It really all depends on your wife and what she is into

Ever meet any pornstars while working there?

Kelsi Monroe was a regular. Super nice chick. A few who did amateur porn but Kelsi was the biggest

What did she buy so much that made her a "regular?" Or was she going to the booths?

Lingerie mostly

Whats your most memorable customer?

I can't think of one particular customer, but the most memorable moments was when the customers would come back into the store and tell us how much we've helped them with any intimacy issues they may have had.

What sort of things would you normally recommend?

Dick pills

Spot on! Our selection of boner pills was limitless

And they're not all bullshit?

Well, we had some customers swear by them and buy them everyday but honestly my personal opinion is that it's kind of just a mind thing.

What about penis enlargement things? Think Austin Powers

Lots of potential for permanent damage with those things. Have you tried a silicone cock ring before? You'll get hard and stay harder longer.

Great suggestions! Pair that With some stud 100 you'll be hard for quite a while!

Any stories about people returning products? Why did they return them?

ALL THE TIME! You would be surprised at how many times people try and return crap. We tested every toy before it left the store because we had no return policy. Opened the toys up, put batteries in them and showed them to the customer most of the time just so they know what they're getting. They would try and return them later and say "this isn't working anymore" leave their bodily fluids all over them! Then we would have to put on gloves and test them again. 99% of the time the toys people tried to return worked just fine. I think they thought it they don't clean it before they bring it back we won't test it.

Funniest experience with someone you know while working?

One time we had some kid, probably around 19 or so, jerked off in front of one of the employees for at least two minutes before she finally noticed him and kicked him out. The whole thing was on a security camera. The footage was hilarious!

Were you guys okay with people doing "whatever" in the booths? / is it legal?

The employees including myself we're not ok with letting them get away with whatever they wanted but the cooperate bosses out of state wanted us to keep are mouth shut.

Did you eventually become numb to it all?

Pretty much, yea

Follow up question. Do you like Linkin Park?

no

Ever had customers dildo fight while in store?

no but the employees did lol

What percentage of clientelle was female?

I'd say probably around 40%

How often did you receive prank phone calls?

ALL THE TIME ... Mostly kids

Inside jokes at the store? Nick names for repeat customers? Give us the dirt!

We had cruisers that would hang out by the video booths and try to hook up with other men. We called them booth jockeys.... Not exactly sure why? But the other employees we're calling them that before I even started

People still buy CD porn?

Oh yes! When I started working there I was completely shocked how many people still buy DVDs. We also did rentals! Half the store was actual porn DVDs

How many people have you seen "fall asleep" in the video booths? Who cleans the cum? Whats the worst mess you have seen in there?

Multiple. People would like to do poppers and pass out back there.

Did you sell hentai or furry porn, or things that were not typical?

Did sell hentai but discontinued it a couple months before I left. Wasn't really a hot seller

What is your grossest story from working at a porn shop?

Taking out trashcans filled with poop

that red head guy in your more proof video totally looks like a porn store employee

That was my boss. Been there for almost 15 years

Do you think porn stores can stay open with the internet having tons and tons of free porn?

Honestly idk.. But I've seen stores now where the store is like 80% toys and maybe 20% porn :/

How hard was it to be a female working in a porn store? Was harassment common, or was it more live-and-let-live? How many of your customers were drunk or high?

I worked day shift so not so bad. Night crew got most of the bad end of customers. Drunks, crazies all of that. Never got harassed. Hit on a few times but I usually change the subject immediately

Did you get any dirt on anyone you know?

There was some people I went to high school with that would come in looking for anal toys but I never judged them or anything like that. they would of been the ones kind of embarrassed.

Did you get an employee discount?

50% OFF wasssuppp. I was always the friend that got their friends sex toys for birthdays and Christmas

Oh god I'd spend way too much there with a 50% discount

believe me.. i did!

Any weird/bad experiences with any customers ?

Most of the bad experiences I've had was with the people who would use the booths. Not closing doors, not locking them, jerking off in the hallway ect lol

Do you have redhead porn? I love redheads.

Of course. Unfortunately we did not have a section devoted to them lol

What was your favorite section of the store? The section you liked to answer questions about, help customers, or laugh at the sexual puns, or just personally enjoyed.

Definitely the movies! The covers, the names, the variety was just insane!

What is the etiquette in the arcade...I went to porn store one time just to say I've been in one. I think it was mainly curiosity as I'm lucky enough to get some private time at home while the wife is away or she lets me handle my business when shes too tired/headache etc. Anyways when I went in I walked around and notice the booths dudes just pounding away...I immediately looked away and said oh shit don't look inside those booths windows. I then notice a guy rubbing one out watching another guy rub out through the window. That's when I walked away.

Back to my question is that the normal people just watching other folks?

I think I would be self conscious to be honest and wouldn't be able to even whip it out in fear of someone walking by. A snapchat or text sure but just let it hang out...I'm not sure about that one.

Yes! So normal! Some dude would leave their doors cracked open just so people could watch. We had cameras back there with a video screen we kept at the counter so literally anybody could see them

Have you watched the Sex Factor?

No! I follow Asa akira on Instagram and I remember her promoting it! Always wanted to watch it

What's the strangest reason a person have you when they asked for a refund/return ?

because it "didn't do the job good enough"

Do people ever ask for your suggestions or have you help pick between different products?

I would say around 80% of the time customers went off what we recommended which is why product knowledge is so important.

What would you normally eat during your lunch break?

Jimmy johns

Emm, so anyone gonna mention that sex toys aren't porn?

Half the store was porn to... Just no pictures of it

did you ever use the video arcade yourself?

No