Spring cleaning season is here! The good news is that there are now some good battery powered vacuums starting to hit the market. They're not deep cleaners, but it's a start!

How can I make your day suck better?


Here's some copypasta for the basic questions...

First AMA (archived)

Second AMA (Archived)

Third AMA (Achived)

Upvoted Podcast AMA

YouTube Channel

Here's some basics to get you started:

  • Dollar for dollar, a bagged vacuum, when compared to a bagless, will almost always:

1) Perform better (Actual quality of cleaning).

2) Be in service for much longer.

3) Cost less to repair and maintain (Often including consumables).

4) Filter your air better.

Virtually every vacuum professional in the business chooses a bagged vacuum for their homes, because we know what quality is. Things you should do to maintain your vac, regularly:

1) Clear your brush roller/agitator of hair and fibers. Clear the bearing caps as well, if possible. (monthly)

2) Change your belts before they break. This is important to maintain proper tension against the agitator. (~ yearly for "stretch" belts)

3) Never use soap when washing any parts of your vacuum, including the outer bag, duct system, agitator, filters, etc. Soap attracts dirt, and is difficult to rinse away thoroughly.

  • Types of vacs:

1) Generally, canister vacs are quieter and more versatile than uprights are. They offer better filtration, long lifespans, and ease of use. They handle bare floors best, and work with rugs and carpets, as well.

2) Upright vacuums are used mostly for homes that are entirely carpeted. Many have very powerful motors, great accessories, and are available in a couple of different motor styles. Nothing cleans shag carpeting like the right upright.

3) Bagless vacs are available in a few different styles. They rely on filters and a variety of aerodynamic methods to separate the dirt from the air. In general, these machines do not clean or filter as well as bagged vacuums. They suffer from a loss of suction, and tend to clog repeatedly, if the filters are not cleaned or replaced often.

4) Bagged vacuums use a disposable bag to collect debris, which acts as your primary filter, before the air reaches the motor, and is replaced when you fill it. Because this first filter is changed, regularly, bagged vacuums tend to provide stronger, more consistent suction.

My last, best piece of advice is to approach a vacuum, like any appliance; Budget for the best one you can get. Buy one with idea you will maintain it, and use it for many years. And, for the love of Dog, do not buy from late-night infomercials or door-to-door salesmen! Stay out of the big-box stores, and visit your local professional who actually knows what they're talking about.

Comments: 331 • Responses: 102  • Date: 

suaveitguy20 karma

Is a damp broom an adequate replacement?

touchmyfuckingcoffee19 karma

Not in any world I can think of.

Tacinator3 karma

But would a dead squirrel?

touchmyfuckingcoffee12 karma

Don't let your dreams stay dreams.

clizzark18 karma

You are the man. You managed to make me super excited about vacuums.

Because of your advice, I ended up getting a Miele Titan and the better 228 head.

Can you provide me with some maintenance tips and tricks? I want to have this beast for a long time.

touchmyfuckingcoffee21 karma

Great question!

Every 2 or 3 years, have your powebrush into the shop to have any trapped hair/fibers cleaned out of the casing to keep the motor running cool.

Every 5 years, have your local dealer check and, if needed, cleaned. By 10 years, you should have the carbon brushes inspected also.

Other than that, make sure you get your money's worth by letting those bags fill completely, and keep your filters changed on schedule. Try to avoid twisting and crimping your hose and it will last you much longer. Pull your cord from the wall and walk it back to retract it, and that also, will last much much longer. Do this, and you shouldn't have a problem for a decade or more.

suaveitguy11 karma

Silicon Valley doing any great innovative work with vacuums?

touchmyfuckingcoffee15 karma

Not to my knowledge. What little manufacturing takes place in the US in concentrated in Texas and further eastward. Some collaboration would go a long way. Man, if only I could get a VR directed vacuum cleaner...mmmm...

Bionicpenguin_10 karma

The apocalypse is here, you must survive it with a vacuum, what vacuum do you choose and why?

touchmyfuckingcoffee14 karma

Need more info.

Zombie apocalypse, nuclear, Mad Max style?

Bionicpenguin_6 karma

Mad Max for one, then Zombies for another?

Or alternatively, why not both? :D

touchmyfuckingcoffee29 karma

Mad Max? 18 in Royal All Metal Commercial for it's shear weight and durability; Custom options surely available if George Miller is writing.

Zombie? Sebo Auto X for it's quickly removable aluminum handle tube; Makes an excellent brain-poking stick. Additional points if I get to bang Michonne and she sharpens the handle into a blade.

Bionicpenguin_3 karma

I can imagine that aluminium is quite likely to warp at some point surely?

But I can totally get behind the Michonne bit ;)

touchmyfuckingcoffee10 karma

It's a rectangular box tube made of aircraft grade aluminum. It would last a while without much wear. Raiding vacuum stores in the future might be called for.

crispychoc3 karma

Surely a wet/dry shop vac with a sharpened tube would be better, you could stab them with it, then suck out all their guts?

touchmyfuckingcoffee10 karma

If that's where you're going, I recommend the Kirby extension tubes. They're already tapered into a point and would be easy to sharpen by hand in the field with a good rock.

suaveitguy8 karma

What do you think of the Roomba? Does it suck with strength?

touchmyfuckingcoffee8 karma

I'm not a huge fan of their lineup in general. They have a newer model with an actual suction motor but understand that even with that, you're going to need to use a conventional vacuum at least once a week to make up for the difference.

I don't feel the need for a robotic vacuum but I understand those that do. My recommendations are the Neato and Miele models.

InfintySquared10 karma

What about the Roomba's uses other than a cleaning appliance?

  • Cat vehicle
  • Long-exposure glowstick photography artist

And of course, Deadpool's favorite,

  • Automated annoyance for an old blind woman

touchmyfuckingcoffee14 karma

Those are all accepatable uses for a Roomba.

gedriis5 karma


touchmyfuckingcoffee5 karma

If you've got an S8, just haul it downstairs for your vacuuming. The 228 performs about the same as the 236; The difference is the LED array and the low-profile.

If you're not satisfied with the 228, you may have your height adjustment set incorrectly. You should always start on highest setting (5), and work your way down just until the brush starts vibrating the carpet, and no lower. You will cut off airflow and cause extra wear if you set it too low.

gedriis2 karma


touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

Oh, yeah..either head will be better than the 217.

Yes, a robotic vacuum could very well ease your burden. But, you'll still want to deep clean on occasion, with the S8. For the price, I think the Neato machines are a better choice than the Miele.

coppersplicingmonkey7 karma

What are your thoughts on Kirby vacuum cleaners?

I've got a gen 3 that I've had for close to 17 years. Anything I need to keep an eye on?

I just replaced the fan (it shattered when I picked up a quarter and a screw when cleaning out my truck because my sister had my shop vac), brush roller, and belt (changed every 3 to 4 months if it needs it or not).

I looked at the motor brushes and armature while tearing it all down and the looked to be wearing evenly and had quite a bit of meat left on them. The transmission belts were still tight and not showing signs of fatigue or age.

It's been the best vacuum I've ever owned. I picked it up at a pawn shop for next to nothing because sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldnt. Found the power port where the cord plugs in was cracked, and I replaced the switch assembly...after taking the whole damn vacuum apart.

touchmyfuckingcoffee5 karma

Kirby vacuums just cannot compare with modern vacuums in terms of suction power and deep cleaning. They're too heavy and too complicated to be a smart choice today.

You're doing everything you should (keep the belt for a year), but next time you crack open the case, you really need to take apart the transmission actuator assembly, the trans cog-lever assembly, and the trans axle assembly and lubricate all those parts with standard grease or lithium grease. Doing that will really extend the life of those parts.

Lynoctis3 karma

I got mine secondhand, but still brand new in the box. I found what you're saying to be absolutely true. Changing attachments is a pita, and it weighs a freaking ton. It doesn't edge well, either. I found I have to rock it side to side while pushing it against the baseboard to get it to pick anything up.

touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

Ugh...just hook up your hose and use your crevice tool for the base boards.

Lynoctis3 karma

Changing attachments is a pita

I have a new vacuum now, anyway. Does much better and it's lighter. (Unless you were being facetious. I just realized that may be the case lol)

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Ding ding!

I'm glad you have something easier to use now.

alh9h7 karma

Moving next month and would like to upgrade. New house is hardwoods on the top 2 floors and tile in the basement. Will have area rugs over ~50%. I'd love to get a Miele, but it would be stretching my budget, especially to get one with the 228.

Is the Delphi ok? Hows the Panasonic MC-CG917? Other suggestions?

touchmyfuckingcoffee5 karma

If you're going to go with a Miele C1 option, get the Titan, which already is outfitted with an electric hose and wand. Then, just upgrade to the SEB228. Or, the C1 HomeCare comes complete for just ~$650.

The Panasonic MC-CG 937 is a great model, but it isn't as well filtered or as maneuverable as the Miele. It should last you 10-15 years if treated well.

suaveitguy5 karma

What wear and tear does a vacuum cause on a rug? What are the implications (aside from appearance) of never vacuuming? What is the ideal frequency to vacuum?

touchmyfuckingcoffee9 karma

To your first question, it depends on the vacuum and the rug. If you've got a valuable rug that you want gently cleaned to look great for years, there are options out there.

For carpeting, experts say to vacuum at least once a week for every person and animal in the house. I can't manage that level.

manatee3137 karma

That gives me one day off a week since my other cat died... fabulous.

touchmyfuckingcoffee5 karma

I'm sorry for your loss.

manatee3136 karma

Oh, gees, thanks. I mean, that wasn't the point of the post... um, thanks, she was a great cat.

touchmyfuckingcoffee6 karma

I lost a little buddy last year. I understand what you're going through.

manatee3135 karma

Got a pic? Bonus if it's on a vacuum...

Here's my loud, fearless, annoying, lovable monster

touchmyfuckingcoffee6 karma

This is The Bandit shortly before he left us.

manatee3133 karma

Awwww, nothing like a warm sleeping cat. Love the white feet. Thanks for sharing. Sorry for your loss :(

Edit: just noticed the vacuum wand in the background, nice touch.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Awww, man! I didn't even notice the vacuum handle in the background. Probably becuase I am always around them.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

I lost a little buddy last year. I understand what you're going through.

touchmyfuckingcoffee1 karma

I lost a little buddy last year. I understand what you're going through.

mikepassal4 karma

What kind of a vacuum would you recommend for a larger number of people(~150) to have stored somewhere it can be checked out? These are college students so durability is important.

touchmyfuckingcoffee5 karma

Wow...this is a nightmare of a scenario. You need something durable enough for idiots, commercial so it's rugged enough, and something that isn't going to shit every time someone picks up a paper clip.

It's not cheap, but ProTeam makes an commercial upright, based on an old Lux design, that would probably work well, and comes with HEPA filtration for clean air. Look into the 1500XP.

mikepassal4 karma

Its pretty awful. Whenever I check it out, I have to remove what looks like Donald Trump's hair from the rollers.

touchmyfuckingcoffee5 karma

Someone needs to be in charge of maintenance. No vacuum is going to last at all if there isn't someone maintaining it with all those users.

Grandaddy254 karma

How far have vacuums actually came in the last 20yrs?

touchmyfuckingcoffee7 karma

Sadly, not far enough. No longer do people look at vacuums like the appliances they should be. They just want cheap shit and don't care how well they clean.

Motors aren't getting more powerful, but they are getting more efficient. So, a 1200W Miele today can pull as much as a 2400W did 20 years ago. Dirt sensors, auto power settings, and lighter weight designs are the norm.

Just this year, some decent battery operated vacuums are coming to the market that are significantly better than anything 5 years ago or more.

Grandaddy253 karma

Sounds good. I'd say my top 3 attributes I'd like to see get better are quietness, Cutting the cord while maintaining power, and maneuverability/weight.

touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

Miele and Sebo make very quiet vacuums.

Riccar has a new LiPo cordless lightweight upright, similar to an Oreck XL, that actually cleans decently and have a runtime of up to 80 minutes! I use one to keep my shop tidy. Hoover is supposed to be launching some new battery powered vacs also.

Weight is always gradually improving with new materials, designs, etc.

Sargon163 karma

I don't vacuum as often as I should and have a long haired dog. What happens with my vacuum is the hair gets tangled around the roller, and I mean ALOT of hair tangled up. I have to take out the roller and use a knife to cut off all the excess dog hair. The vacuum in question is a Hoover windtunnel T series upright. It wasn't that expensive, but in any case I can't afford a higher priced one.

So my question is, do they make vacuums where dog hair doesn't get tangled in the roller? Cause every damn vacuum I've ever owned has this problem.

touchmyfuckingcoffee5 karma

Welcome to owning a vacuum. Every vacuum owner should be cleaning their brush rollers on a regular schedule. That schedule depends on whether someone has long hair, pets, etc.

The best you can hope for is a vacuum that has a brush roller that easy to clean without a hassle. Your WindTunnel is fairly convenient, by comparison.

Sargon162 karma

Huh, I don't mean on a regular schedule, I mean cleaning the roller every time I vacuum my apartment. Sometimes multiple times per cleaning :(

Thanks for answering. I suppose the magical perfect vacuum I was hoping for doesn't exist.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Some vacuums use shorted bristles on their brushes that don't hold as much hair as others. Your Hoover is not the best in this regard.

If you really have that much hair to deal with, you might try using a broom on the bare floors and carpet first, just to get excess hair, before you do your regular vacuuming. That should save you some trouble.

WhatInYourPants3 karma

If you have the money for them, are Dyson vacuum cleaners worth it?

touchmyfuckingcoffee5 karma

I certainly don't think so. They can't compete against bagged vacuums, and they've also lost their edge in the bagless market.

dirtydirtsquirrel2 karma

Who has the edge in the bagless world now?

touchmyfuckingcoffee4 karma

General consensus is that Shark has led the pack in terms of cleaning power and maneuverability. It's tough to say which is shittier in build quality.

At least with a Dyson, you can get local warranty repair and easy to find parts.

B_Squared143 karma

Do you have any thoughts/recommendations on central vacuum systems? Or would the money be better spend on a more standard vacuum model?

touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

Of all the CV owners I know, all of them, save one, also use a conventional vacuum, as no one likes dragging out a 30-50 ft long hose to clean the house.

Unless you're building a new home and want one installed, I don't think they're necessarily worth the investment.

adunedarkguard3 karma

I picked up a Miele S8 a little over a year ago, and we've had an issue with the SET220 power wand. We've had it replaced twice in a calendar year, and it's happening again.

There are plastic tubes inside the wand that cover the tray that holds the power cord, and as the wand is extended and retracted, we've found that the tube on the bottom portion comes loose, and gets stuck, so that when the wand is extended, there's no tube covering the power cable on the bottom half of the wand. The cable gets tangled, and starts catching dust in the tube, and you have to use a stick to force the tube back down again. Has this design flaw been acknowledged by Miele, and is there an updated version of the wand we can buy so we don't have to either keep shoving the tube back down, or replacing the unit?


touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

I think it's more of a QC issue than a design flaw. Miele is aware of the problem. The ones you have may have just been part of a bad batch shipped from Germany. At least you have a good warranty that is going to cover the costs for you.

Don't forget the power of Twitter. Feel free to tweet to Miele USA to express your dissatisfaction.

SaddestClown3 karma

Any love for the Panasonic Jet Flow? Because of your posts I kept the Jet Flow canister vac I found in a nailed shut closet here at work last year. I use it every now and then but downstairs is 80% carpet and it just doesn't do much.

touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

Those are pretty tough old bastards. I wouldn't expect it to be quite as good as Panasonic's recent models.

automatedalice2683 karma

Just wanna say that you kindled my intrest for vacuum cleaners since you did the first AMA. I hate vacuum cleaning (the noise! the hassle!), but thanks to you I'm a little bit wiser, I accept vacuum cleaning and I will not buy an overpriced Dyson. I think I will buy a Miele bagged vacuum.

Can you suggest a great almost noiseless and easily to wield bagged vacuum cleaner?

touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

You cannot get anything quieter and more maneuverable than a C3 Miele canister vacuum.

prepper_of_doom3 karma

What is the best way to clean my central home vacuum? It's like I almost need a vacuum to clean the vacuum when I remove the debris! Also, how does one go about cleaning the filter ( or bag thing that separates the motor from the debris.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

You might want to take down the model number and brand of your CV and talk to you local installer about that. Without knowing more, I'm not much use to you, and I mostly deal with conventional vacuums and repair of CV hoses and powerbrushes.

Kernal_Campbell3 karma

What models do you repair most often? For me, I've never had a vacuum that would, in my mind, justify calling a repair man. I spend about 100 bucks and I'm on my second vacuum in 12 years. Am I doing something wrong?

Are there any robot vacuum cleaners that are worth a damn? I bought an old Roomba at a garage sale. Thing didn't do jack. Did I get a lemon?

What vacuum do you use in your home?

touchmyfuckingcoffee10 karma

The only thing I could possibly say you're doing 'wrong' is buying vacuums that are not truly cleaning your carpeting deeply. If you don't have allergies or asthma, then you don't have to pony up for the best filtration. If you don't have delicate Persian rugs, you don't need to worry about gentle-cleaning vacs. If you don't care about what's trapped in your carpet padding and below, you don't need the most powerful suction.

Roomba now has a model with an actual suction motor, as do some Neato and Miele models, which I prefer. The latter two having a more logical algorithm for mapping your home.

*Edit: My vacuum at home is this customized Miele Mercury.

waspocracy2 karma

What's a good brand that isn't above like $600?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

If you want a good budget canister vacuum, I'd recommend Panasonic.

[deleted]3 karma


touchmyfuckingcoffee6 karma

Clearly, you didn't read my copypasta; Bagless most certainly is not the way to go.

Dyson is like every mass-produced, South Asian bagless maker. They have some strengths, some weaknesses. They do have one of the better warranty programs in the market.

elvaldo033 karma

What do u think about water vacuum cleaners? Those where the filter is a tank of water.

touchmyfuckingcoffee5 karma

I am not a fan of water filtration vacs. The water does not filter as well as they'd like you to think and so much of the motors suction is lost by pulling everything through the water.

There are many better and cheaper options, without all the hassle.

Hellmark3 karma

Hey there.

My house is mostly hardwood floors, but with my pets we rapidly get what we call "tumble fur", to where we have fur piles we are sweeping up on a daily basis.

What would you recommend to help better pick this up?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Sweep the bigger piles then back it up with the Miele Quickstep for the rest of the sweeping and dusting. You're gonna want the SEB300 Parquet Twist floor brush with it.

seeeeew3 karma

  1. My Samsung SC4350 feels like it should suck much more. I already replaced all filters. Is there anything else I can do or is it just a weak model? (I like it because I got it for free and it doesn't need bags.)

  2. Can you recommend a good bagless vacuum for someone on a slightly tighter budget?

  3. What should I bear in mind when buying a used vacuum?

Bonus: A friend of mine once electrified himself while trying to remove the turbine from a vacuum that was still plugged in. What's the dumbest thing you ever did while repairing a vacuum?

touchmyfuckingcoffee6 karma

Check your vacuum's duct system for any possible clogs. If there are none, your motor may be on it's way out.

I don't really recommend bagged vacuums as bagged are much better. What kind of a budget are you working with?

If you're going to buy used, I would check with your local repair shops and they are the most likely place to find a good reliable one.

I once wired in a customer's Oreck motor and fried it. It was easily replaced without much issue.

jchabotte2 karma

I don't really recommend bagged vacuums as bagged are much better.

Pretty sure you meant bagless on that first one.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Yes, thank you.

Silverottawa3 karma

We have had our Electrolux for almost 20 years and are finding it hard to find bags for it. Would you recommend their "new" lines?


touchmyfuckingcoffee6 karma

Your local shop doesn't still carry the bags? You can always find them on Amazon.

Silverottawa4 karma

surprisingly no! I have been getting the "scented" bags as It always had a nice smell as it runs! Never found a unit that does this!

touchmyfuckingcoffee6 karma

Alternatively, you could just get some scent drops and freshen your cheaper bulk bags.

Misdirected_Colors3 karma

My parents swear by Oreck stand up vacuums. I don't know a whole lot about vacuums. How is Oreck? If they're bad would you recommend something better, but in the same price range or lower?

touchmyfuckingcoffee5 karma

Orecks used to be reliable, easy to use vacuums. But, due to their small impeller motors, they lack enough suction to properly clean below your carpet, in the padding and below.

If you're looking for that kind of vacuum, with more power and is easier to use, you really cannot beat the Riccar Supralite. They are great for that kind of vac.

prstele013 karma

I just moved into a new (to me) house that has 1/3 carpet, 1/3 ceramic tile, and 1/3 laminate hard flooring. I do not have a vacuum. Which model/type would be best for me? I have 3 kids under 12 and no pets.

touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

A canister vacuum would be ideal for you. You're going to need one with a powerbrush head to clean your carpet. Check out the brands in my copypasta.

RandomStallings3 karma

Several of my relatives used to sell Electrolux (now Aerus) vacuums when I was growing up. We always had Electrolux canister vacuums in the house, along with their carpet shampooer. I'm curious what your opinion is on the products, especially older vs. newer models?

touchmyfuckingcoffee4 karma

Lux/Aerus vacuums were/are very powerful and reliable. They certainly are not the most maneuverable or best filtered. They were/are great vacuums, but fuck a bunch of paying >$2,000 for a fucking vacuum. I'll take a Miele, thank you very much.

bozobozo3 karma

My vacuum broke. What can I expect to pay at a repair shop?

touchmyfuckingcoffee10 karma

That matters on what's wrong with your vacuum. A belt can be just a few dollars. I charge $20 for clog removals. Motors are more expensive.

Most shops provide free estimates, so it doesn't hurt to have them look.

bozobozo6 karma

Thanks! I replaced both belts but I get a banging sound when I start it now. I'll take your advice and take it into a shop for an estimate.

touchmyfuckingcoffee21 karma

Hoover WindTunnel with self-propel? Sounds like it might be a bad brush roller.

bozobozo3 karma

Holy shit. You know your vacuums man! Is that a common occurrence?

touchmyfuckingcoffee9 karma

It's not a terribly uncommon occurrence. Take out the brush, hold in in between your hands by the end caps and see if it will spin freely in your hands.

john_stuart_kill2 karma

I understand your general preference for bagged vacuums, as mentioned above...but I've got a bagless Dyson (the one with the rollerball thing), and I'm pretty happy with it! Am I deluded? Or is this a pretty good upright bagless vacuum? Incidentally, I don't have the biggest house, and it's a mix of bare floors and carpet.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

You're getting the surface clean but not deep down into your carpet padding. Plus, there is the pain in the ass of having to empty the bin, wash the filters, deal with clogs, etc. Plus, after all that, you have a vacuum that has very little chance of lasting 10 years without some serious maintenance issues.

I just see no benefit in that whatsoever.

BigAstra2 karma

I hate bagless vacuums, believe they are disgusting, inefficient, fragile, and almost always made of too much plastic, especially at the business end.

What should I buy next?

touchmyfuckingcoffee7 karma

May big three brands for durable, reliable, and long-lived vacuums are Sebo, Miele, and Riccar.

scratch_0432 karma

Yay! I actually caught your AMA before it ended this time.

I totally understand the Dyson hate, I am using one now.

I am looking for a vacuum I can get that has decent suction and basic attachment. It's just me and two kids, with carpet only in the bedrooms and stairwell.

what would you recommend as a cost effective solution?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

That all depends on what kind of budget you're working with and whether anyone in the house has severe allergies or asthma.

randomstardust2 karma

okay this is not exactly about vacuums but I dont quite get vacuum stores. like i understand that people need a vacuum from time to time, but how do they stay in business?

do they have contracts with cleaning services or do they survive but servicing individual vacuums. basically how they stay in the black..

touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

People really do get their vacuums serviced. A good deal of my repair work is done for local restaurants, churches, offices, industrial business, and cleaning services. I also do a shit ton of Kirby repairs.

Outside of repairs, we survive by selling very high-quality vacuums, replacement filters for bagless vacuums, vac parts in general, and finally bags in that order, roughly.

Tomin2 karma

Im getting married in October. I've done some research and came across the Hoover Platinum Collection Lightweight Bagged Upright with Canister, UH30010COM. Is this a good vacuum set to put on our registry? We have hard woods with oriental rugs.


touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

That's not a bad setup. The bags are expensive compared to the competition.

If this is the route you're going, I much prefer the Riccar Supralite backed up with the Butler. It's going to be much more expensive, but with cheaper bags and better reliability, I think it pays off.

scratch_0432 karma

While watching your YouTube channel, I saw that you have a VTR on your bench by the grinder. Mine sits on my dresser at home since upgrading last year.

Do you still vape? and what does your Mod look like if you do?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

I do still vape. A fan got me a SubBox Mini and it's nice. But, I prefer my old "hand grenade". My problem is my old shop closed down and I haven't found a tobacco flavor that I like yet.

scratch_0432 karma

Depends what flavors you are into for sure. I started out with "goblins pipe" from cold turkey, and still like it.

I have a VTC mini now, but the VTR is damned near indestructible, I won't ever get rid of it. Hand grenade is an accurate description.

Only thing I had to do to mine is modify the tank support ring, since I dropped it on the shop floor, and it deformed on me.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

That's a pisser. You must have dropped it just right. My VTR has taken many tumbles and is still in decent shape.

I've always had the belief that a man's accessories ought to be able to be used to kill a man, should the need arise for any reason.

sonia72quebec2 karma

I have a small space (400 square feet) with wood floors. I'm looking for a very small vacuums since I don't have a lot of storage space. What should I get ?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Look into the Riccar Butler.


What do you think of the automatic vacuums than have sensors and turn around at walls?Would you recommend them?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

I'm not a huge fan of robotic vacuums but if you're going to buy one, I think the best are by Neato and Miele.

Mumrahte2 karma

I have a small 300 square foot entry way and kitchen with hard wood, and another 1700 sqft of carpet with I guess medium pile, and 2 shedding dogs.

Do I want a Miele canister or upright?

Will I go through bags quickly with all the dog hair?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Either a canister or upright would work well for you.

Don't worry about going through many bags; You'll be pleasantly surprised when you see just how much those bags hold before you have to change them.

Bacon_002 karma

We bought a Dyson last year and love it. How do you feel about that brand? Can we do better next time?

touchmyfuckingcoffee4 karma

You should read my copypasta. It's full of good stuff.

But, yes, you can do far better with your next vacuum.

rhiaaryx2 karma

I have a 3 story home. One floor and one set of stairs are new carpet (medium pile I think, I didn't install it), the other two floors/other set of stairs are hardwood. My next splurge purchase is going to be an antique rug, likely persian. I already have one silk rug. Two humans and two cats live in the house.

I had been looking at the Dyson animal vacuum before I saw reference to your earlier IaMAs. I've always had bagless uprights, but I've never had a vacuum that cost more than $60 (and they all suck at sucking). So I have three questions (feel free to point me to other answers if I missed that you've answered these already):

  1. Would you recommend one vacuum for everything or should we have a different type of vacuum for the "expensive" rugs?
  2. How would you go about finding a local vacuum shop? Would you recommend against just buying online? The only local Miele dealers are either poorly reviewed, an hour away, or actually Oreck shops.
  3. What would you recommend we buy? Our budget is flexible.

Bonus question: what small handheld vacuum would you recommend for small messes, or is it just "buy something, they're all about the same".

EDIT: I do most of the hardwood cleaning with a broom, so the hardwood isn't as big of a deal. It'd be nice to be able to use the vacuum on hardwood, but not necessary.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

  1. You CAN have one vacuum that covers all your needs. For your silk and Persian rugs, you're going to need something very gentle to clean them well and not damage them. NEVER use a Dyson or any cheap vacuum on a valuable rug!!!

  2. GTS...Google That Shit. Or, check your phone book if that's your thing. Depending on the size of your city, you may have several with different brands to choose from. I wouldn't worry terribly about the online reviews, as those with bad reviews are far more motivated to post. Check them out yourself and see how you feel. My shop looks like shit, but I provide the best and fasted repair service of all of our shops.

  3. Considering you have valuable rugs, a Miele canister is my easy choice. Their 217 powerbrush isn't great on carpets but it's the tits when it comes to your valuables. Upgrade to a 228 or 236 brush for your carpeting. My local Persian dealer/repair shop chooses to only use Miele canisters on their rugs. As he is an old Persian guy, his opinion is good enough for me.

rhiaaryx2 karma

Thank you for the detailed response, I was thinking I'd ask the rug dealer how they clean them--looks like you did the same thing :)

And thank you for the input on the brushes. Do you have a recommendation on which Miele canister to buy?

I've been trying to figure out how to pick a vacuum for several months (well, not really actively trying), you just saved me a ton of time!

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Here's the simple answer. Budget for the best you can get and get the best for your budget. That's going to range between $700 and $1200 new, substantially cheaper used.

This is where visiting your Miele dealer will help you out.

shadow_the_cat2 karma

Our old bagless vacuum just bit the dust. In doing my research on a proper replacement, I stumbled upon your AMAs and just bought a very lightly used Miele C3 LTD. from Ebay.

Our home is 3/4 hardwood and tile with one room that's carpeted. The one I purchased comes with 1 power head and 1 hard surface head. Do you feel that should be sufficient for our space?

Here's the link to the listing, just in case: Ebay

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

That's not a powerbrush, it's a turbo-brush. The difference being that a powerbrush is electrically powered whereas yours uses the suction of the vacuum to drive the brush, which uses work the vacuum would use for cleaning otherwise. It's suitable for rugs, but not the best choice on carpets.

That floor brush is okay but the SBB300 Parquet Twist floor brush is much more efficient.

shadow_the_cat2 karma

Thank you! I'll look into the Parquet. Which power brush would you recommend?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Depends on the pile of the carpet. For anything deeper than standard, I prefer the 228 for its airfoil-shaped brush roller. For low-clearance and the LED array, I use the 236 in my home.

brianpi2 karma

I splurged and bought the best vacuum I could for the money from a local dealer: the Miele c3 Marin. This was after a long check on /r/VacuumCleaners and lots of research.

What steps can I take to make sure that it lasts as long as I live? Thanks for all the recommendations on vacuums!

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Read your owner's manual and follow all the schedules in it. Avoid twisting and crimping your hose for a long lifespan. Remove your plug by hand and walk it to the vacuum before reeling in the cord for a long life for it as well; Those are the usual first expensive repairs.

Have the powerbrush in to the dealer every 2 to have the casing and brush cleaned out.

Every 5 years, have it in to have the commutator cleaned and the carbon brushes inspected.

Unless you suffer a bag failure from generic bags, there's not really much else that needs to be done regularly.

Derpadoodoo2 karma

My apartment is relatively small (850 sq.ft.) and all laminate floors with one area rug. For cleaning, I just use a broom for debris/pet hair and mop when needed. I always thought vacuums were just for carpets, but would there be any reason or advantage for me to use one instead?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

If you got the right one, you could save yourself the trouble of sweeping and still have a HEPA certified air purifier, as well.

I haven't pulled out my broom to sweep inside in years. I clean all my floors with my vacuum because it's much faster, I don't create as much dust in the air, and I don't have to fuss with a dustpan. At this point, I don't consider pulling out my canister any more difficult than pulling out a broom (except for just tiny jobs).

Derpadoodoo2 karma

Thanks for the reply! Any recommendations?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Sure, take a look at what Miele has to offer in the C2 and C3 canister lines.

KindergartenRedditor2 karma

If I only had $100 to buy a brand new vacuum, which should I get? For 75% Carpet and 25% Wood Floor. These are all bagged uprights.

Hoover Windtunnel (UH30310, UH30600, UH30300 - they all seem very similar)

Panasonic MC-UG223

Hoover Tempo WidePath, U5140900

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

For shear reliability, the Panasonic is your best bet.

Captain-hatefact2 karma

What's your thoughts on Dysons?

And godamn for a topic I laughed at you're actually a dam Saint .... Thanks for taking the time to inform us!

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

My thoughts on Dysons are this: Avoid them just like you should avoid any bagless vacuum.

piratecalvin2 karma

I've been interested in a robotic vacuum for a while now because my wife and I are very lazy and can hardly be bothered to vacuum more than once a month. Neato and Roomba were the big names I was looking at, but I also saw a Samsung Powerbot which looked pretty cool:


Have you heard anything about them?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

I don't have any experience with the Samsung robots; I'd rely on reviews for more info on that. Only look for units with suction motors. I think Neato and Miele are leading in the best robots.

wakawakaaaaaa2 karma

How do I switch my vacuum cleaner from suck to blow?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Gut punch your mum.

Seriously, though, there are vacuums capable of both.

clizzark2 karma

What Miele bags work with the Miele Titan and where is the best place to buy them?

touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

Seriously, doesn't anyone read owner's manuals anymore?

Your Titan uses the GN bags. You can get them from your local dealer or online.

PShelley2 karma

Are you at all familiar with Bosch vacuum cleaners? They're fairly popular here in Europe.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

I thought Bosch got out of the business of vacuums. Is that not the case in Europe?

Tonyhawkskateboader2 karma

Are dyson vaccuums all they are hyped to be or are they the apple of vaccuums?

touchmyfuckingcoffee3 karma

Dyson is like every mass-produced, South Asian bagless maker. They have some strengths, some weaknesses. They do have one of the better warranty programs in the market. They've also lost their lead in the market to Shark.

10000noways2 karma

We were looking at a Riccar, but our local shop had a refurbished Lindhaus that we(I) fell in love with. It's been just great so far, but I'm worried it's going to croak any day. Don't know the model, but it's an upright, came with a separate accessories bag with a hose and wand and attachments, light blue, looks like it may be vintage 70's or 80's. Without meeting the vacuum, can you estimate how long it may last, with proper service and cleaning? And can you recommend a service schedule?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Your Linhaus is likely not as old as you suspect. They don't waste much money is stylistic design. They are traditionally very tough and reliable vacs. Have it in to your local repair shop for an inspection and see what it would take to keep you in tip top shape in the future.

I would have it in for inspection every one or two years.

scratch_0432 karma

Hey, I know I'm a bit late now, but I thought of another question I've wanted an answer to for a while now.

Is there any make/model of stick vacuum that you have experience with and might recommend? Are any of the rotating brush models competent?

My house (as I alluded to in my previous question) is 1/2 laminate and 1/2 freize carpet, about 1400sqft total.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

I hope you're not attempting to vacuum an entire home that size with a stick vac. You really need a full size.

That being said, Miele makes one of the best stick vacs on the market, and you can even pair it with their powerbrushes for the carpeting.

scratch_0432 karma

Hah, no. The stick would be more of a touch up cleaner. I was looking at a canister for the upstairs, but a stick seems more convenient for quick passes around the downstairs furniture etc.

I just wanted to know if they were even worth looking into.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Sure, they are.

dawnsavenger2 karma

I don't know if this has been asked before, but what would be a good vacuum for cleaning my car? I need something small and affordable on a broke ass grad student's budget.

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

The Riccar Butler is the tits.

TheCrimsonGlass2 karma

How often do you vacuum your home?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

I vacuum once a week, occasionally more.

sarakg2 karma

I'm considering getting a new hand-held or otherwise small vac. I live in a studio apartment that's all hardwood/tile, but I have a few rugs and a couch that I also vacuum. Just one person, no pets. I have an old corded dustbuster but it's getting pretty terrible, and it's quite painful on my back to do the rug. Any thoughts?

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

I've got a great option for you. The Miele Swing H1 is basically a stick-vac on steroids. It's got as much suction as a full sized canister, HEPA filtration, and if you paired it up with a used SEB217 powerbrush head, could do a truly good job on your rugs. You could possibly get it loaded like that for ~$300.

asshair2 karma

Where can I even get a bagged vacuum cleaner nowadays that doesn't break the bank???

touchmyfuckingcoffee2 karma

Have you tried a local vacuum shop?