For the last two years I've been both Mrs Claus and an elf at Santa's Village. We take holiday photos and have kids visit Santa. This event lasts four weeks.

Merry Christmas to all!

Proof: http://imgur.com/9f7Uxg3 and http://imgur.com/Gpd8esE

Edit : Thank you to everyone that submitted questions - I hope I got to them all. Also for getting this post to the front page. :)

Comments: 591 • Responses: 95  • Date: 

The_Punniest616 karma

In your opinion, do you consider a hotdog a sandwich?

hipsteralice328 karma

Hot dogs are a little piece of Christmas joy.

SixGunGorilla86 karma

If you order a ham sandwich and get a hotdog would you be angry?

hipsteralice128 karma

Yes.

xlet_cobra44 karma

What if it's a good hotdog?

hipsteralice163 karma

All hot dogs are good.

greenmask40 karma

Wait, so you would get angry if you ordered a ham sandwich and got a really delicious hotdog instead?

hipsteralice73 karma

Sorry I must have misread! I would be elated.

tullan12472 karma

Mrs Claus can you tell me how to put together my new coffee table? The elves forgot to include the instructions this time.

hipsteralice574 karma

Go back to Ikea!

upback243 karma

Is it true elfs get drunk off hot chocolate?

hipsteralice392 karma

Only on December 26th.

upback33 karma

On a side note. I sent out 80 delibirds for Christmas on wonder trade. Named all the males "Tim Allen" and females "Mrs. Clause" lol

hipsteralice23 karma

LOL I hope they all find good homes. For being delibirds.

huge_ox223 karma

Dear Mrs claus. My daughter grace says thank you for the shoes. Did you enjoy your chocolates that we left out for Santa to bring you?

hipsteralice498 karma

Dear Grace and family,

Santa, the elves, and I are so glad you like your shoes! Please take good care of them for us. The chocolates you left for Santa to bring me were delicious (he ate a few while he was making deliveries last night - it was just what he needed). We shared it with the elves and reindeer this morning when he got back. Thank you for being so considerate!

Merry Christmas! - Mrs Claus, the elves, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen, and RUDOLPH.

PS. HO HO HO. -Santa

joZeizzle109 karma

I don't think reindeer are supposed to have chocolate.

hipsteralice268 karma

They're not normal reindeer!

Kahitano170 karma

If youre really Mrs Claus, then what song did buddy the elf sing for Mr Claus this year?

hipsteralice183 karma

He sings me songs all year long.

ThatAtheistPlace80 karma

How about an easier one.... What song did he sing Santa for his birthday?

jimanri101 karma

the birthday one

hipsteralice196 karma

What he said.

Betsy514120 karma

Thanks for doing this AMA Mrs. Claus - you must be very tired today. Tell me about the reindeer. Do you have a favorite?

hipsteralice183 karma

Each of them have very distinct personalities. No favourites, but I love taking walks at night with Rudolph.

schmeer_spear113 karma

Dear Mrs Claus, what should we do about this ISIS problem?

hipsteralice271 karma

Today we should spread Christmas cheer and spend the day with our loved ones.

Annepackrat110 karma

What qualifications does one need to be Mrs. Claus?

hipsteralice218 karma

All I needed was experience with kids, a clear background check and high tolerance for mean parents.

oblonglamppost97 karma

Bad parent stories? Please?

hipsteralice289 karma

All happened yesterday.

One parent came late with her kids. We had to cut the line fifty people ago. She threw a fit, asked me to tell her three year old why she couldn't take photos, kept asking why it was a big deal. Asked to see the managers who told her the same thing. Complained we let in adults who were in line before we cut it. We want to get home to our families, too. Why did you wait until the last day? She ended up accosting our Santa on the way back to the change room until he let her take a photo on her phone.

Manager got called a fucking Grinch because we cut the line. Security escorted her out as she screamed obscenities.

Told one man not to take photos on his phone. "Are you serious right now. These are my kids! This is my space. " No personal photography. Period. Privacy concern for children and workers. It's a private mall so there shouldn't be photography anyway. "I'm NOT listening to you, bitch."

huntersniper00776 karma

some people...

hipsteralice135 karma

We nearly cried.

pigeonsandroses16 karma

Wow it's amazing how badly people are willing to treat others so they can have their own. I hope you had a great christmas!

hipsteralice22 karma

I did, thank you! :) It's been filled with family and Reddit mostly. And presents. Merry Christmas!

517134 karma

Well, apart from kicking the guy out for breaking policy, there's really nothing that can be done about cell phone pictures

hipsteralice70 karma

We just ask them to stop. But yeah, it's true not much to be done it they are persistent. If people are nice about it and ask though, we're pretty lenient on it.

Wallace_II40 karma

So being married to Santa isn't a requirement?

hipsteralice79 karma

Apologies. I thought that was a given!

mewcake87 karma

What is the funniest reaction to meeting Santa you have seen from a child?

hipsteralice434 karma

We had a lot of young babies (I'm talking weeks old) this season. One little girl who was barely a month old was passed out, and the mother put her in Santa's arms to try and take a photo where it looks like Santa is asleep too. The girl woke up, stared at Santa for a second like OMGWTFWHOAREYOU ... And then went back to sleep.

B_Elanna_Torres83 karma

Is Santa going to make a fourth The Santa Clause movie ?

hipsteralice75 karma

Still unknown.

danhauk76 karma

I heard there's a big dispute on the payment clause in the contract.

hipsteralice40 karma

HAHAHA. You deserve applause, sir.

ayushman-singh55 karma

Does Santa prefer chocolate milk over plain milk, or any other flavour?

hipsteralice86 karma

He loves white milk and chocolate chip cookies the best, but Santa will eat any cookies and drink any kind of milk!

thelonioushunk8579 karma

So there's no truth to the whole Santa being lactose intolerant thing I've been told by my silk drinking mom

hipsteralice58 karma

If he needs to be....

dickandmorty36 karma

I have some pretty strict food intolerances and restrictions because of my MS and let me tell you, if Santa still swung by my place he'd be stuck with not only Silk but gluten free carob cookies. Literally what dog bakeries sell, for dogs. >~>

hipsteralice40 karma

And he would enjoy them all the same!

sandmyth55 karma

can you ask Santa why i didn't get a wii u with mario maker?

hipsteralice65 karma

Really sorry! We can't get everything on everyone's list. :(

ertyuionn53 karma

Dear Mrs Clause, You both look great! What did Mr. Clause give you for Christmas? Merry Christmas!

hipsteralice224 karma

Thank you!! He gave me money so I could buy my own presents. Best husband ever. I got him Fallout.

NookingTheCity45 karma

Holy shit, Santa is a gamer?!

hipsteralice135 karma

PC. Let the judging begin. (Consoles forever.)

greenmask252 karma

Hey, it's understandable Santa is a PC gamer. Fat, hairy and only leaves the house once a year for cookies.

hipsteralice86 karma

So much this.

Sexy_Koala_Juice20 karma

I have a very serious question... S... Santa is actually Gaben isn't he.

hipsteralice42 karma

... I plead the fifth.

darcy_clay2 karma

Jeez you could have gotten him the latest one at least.

hipsteralice8 karma

It was!

SweetLittleButtercup45 karma

What's the most memorable wish in the past two years you can post?

hipsteralice135 karma

This one happened this year. This couple with their son came to Santa looking really sad. He asked him to do Christmas early this year because he would be in Mexico. Without missing a beat he said no, because he would find him in Mexico and there was nothing to worry about!

revanon45 karma

Merry Christmas, Mrs. Claus! Have you ever read David Sedaris's essay about being an elf in Macy's Santaland? If so, how does your experience compare?

hipsteralice91 karma

I had actually never heard of this essay until now. I listened to most of it. If you have specific questions let me know, but here is a little comparison.

I know the people who run the village, so there was just a phone call asking if I wanted to help with photos this year. I work with children for my regular job, and since December is a short month work wise I agreed because I could a) use the money and b) thought it would be fun.

My elf name is Jingles. I'm proud of it because I came up with it on my own. And somehow throughout the mall it spread like wildfire and I am called Jingles all year round.

We can dress how we like, as long as it's appropriate. We also are supplied with costumes for all different characters which we can use or not. I often dressed in a tunic with bells. Hence Jingles.

We usually run the booth with 4 people. None of us really have designated jobs, we just all help out where we can and each day we find an efficient routine that works for the specific people on shift. I really liked being a greeter, though, because I got to meet the children and tell them I needed to help Santa check his list twice. So what were your names again??

Overall there were more times where I was really happy I could be there to see the joy on someone's face when they got to meet Santa.

And then there was yesterday where I wanted to rip peoples fucking faces off. It's a weird line of work.

zbiskupiak39 karma

What is one of the nicest things a child has ever said to you while working?

Thanks for the AmA!

hipsteralice90 karma

A group of children shouted at me and asked me if I remembered them from last year. They were elated when I said yes. Yesterday, all of us took our share of nasty parents. One girl asked me if we needed any help in the village. I had to say no, but I did appreciate it and made sure she knew.

JasonOnTheBeach30 karma

Where the hell is my sex robot? i was really good this year

hipsteralice28 karma

So sorry. Maybe next year! :)

Kabitu24 karma

What do you and your husband tell kids who ask for something really serious for christmas, like "dad coming back", or something else they probably can't have?

hipsteralice78 karma

My heart breaks for them. I usually take a moment and tell them that even I can't do that. But what I can do is share memories with him/her and ask them for their best memory if they have one.

nola-radar23 karma

Grown-ass men taking pictures with Santa is a thing these days. How many adults have come by to take pictures with Santa this year?

hipsteralice65 karma

People ask for interesting poses with Santa. It's quite amusing and fun to take those pictures.

We had about 2000 people this season. I'd say a good 10% were adults without children.

I was one or them. Multiple times.

nola-radar8 karma

Thanks for the reply and Happy Christmas to you. Quite a few of the grown up pics with Santa look like there was alcohol involved. Any good stories? Were there any adults who were so obnoxious that you had to "Nope" them out of there?

hipsteralice26 karma

Security had to escort a bunch of adults out because they were too aggressive with the elves for not bending rules for them.

KevinFul048 karma

Which rules?

hipsteralice32 karma

No personal photography, set pricing, WE ARE CLOSED....

Brailledit20 karma

Where's the craziest place you have found a candy cane?

hipsteralice59 karma

Use your imagination.

matttrick18 karma

G string or boyshorts?

hipsteralice69 karma

Boyshorts unless you're wearing a tight skirt.

Zaydus18 karma

Is there any weird things that children have asked for Christmas?

hipsteralice85 karma

Nothing I would really consider weird. You get kids asking for electronics, sleds, world peace...

Quite often Santa gets asked to bring kids a puppy, kitty etc. Whereas he usually goes, "You want a PUPPY for Christmas?" And looks at the parents. They give him a look which decides what he says next: "I think I can do that for you!" or "Well... I'll try and do that for you, okay?"

hammertime452518 karma

How did Mr. Clause propose?

hipsteralice101 karma

He gave me a Pokeball with a ring and said, "I choose you."

underfireman17 karma

How do you stay so young all these years, one would think after a century of being married with mr. claus you would look a bit old don't you think? Do you use some kind of potion or are you immortal?

hipsteralice37 karma

Christmas magic!

grilsrgood14 karma

What was the saddest thing you saw while working this holiday season?

hipsteralice35 karma

Girl wandered into photos by accident and the dad came by and yanked her really hard. She started crying. Proceeded to line up and shout at me when I said he couldn't sit down yet, to make room for families who already had their order in for Santa. After he got his photos taken, he complained that it was his kids fault their pictures turned out "shitty". They were no more than 6 years old.

SYNTHLORD18 karma

I can't believe that guy is a dad and I'm not.

hipsteralice7 karma

I was in disbelief. Everyone around us was.

nmagod13 karma

How do you feel about Nissa attempting to usurp your position as Magic's favorite elf queen, and did you ever meet Irini Sengir personally?

hipsteralice49 karma

I did not. I'm still the head bitch so all is well.

RawrEZ11 karma

Does Santa get high from pine trees?

hipsteralice20 karma

I plead the fifth.

TreeAndPlants11 karma

what was the best gift that you have given to a child? Also, do the smiles of children motivate you?

hipsteralice73 karma

They really. Really. Do. What's great about our village is that we're only wanting to learn break even when it comes to cost and revenue. So this means there's a lot of leeway with free packages to family, friends and special circumstances. I'm not allowed to give things away, but I'm always working with someone who can. Two days ago there was this lady who came with an adult with down syndrome. They spent a good twenty minutes with Santa as there was no one in line and we were happy to do it. She saw some ornaments we were selling that you could put your picture in and hang it on your tree. To top it off it flashed colours. She fell in love with it and Santa took one and gave it to her before she left. He tried to pay for it but none of us would take his money. He wouldn't take it back so we donated it to a charity across the mall.

TheKrazeTrain11 karma

Mrs. Claus

What is the modern way of delivering all the presents to the good children of the world?

hipsteralice38 karma

Nothing modern. Christmas magic.

punkdoctor100011 karma

Did you bang Santa?

hipsteralice34 karma

Later.

LadyDeathMasque10 karma

Have you ever dated a coworker from Christmas Santa's Village? Do you know anyone who has? Was it awesome/awful?

Edit: Santa's Village. Sorry everyone, sorry.

hipsteralice19 karma

I don't know anyone who has. A lot of us are married and have our SO work with us, myself included. I don't think it would be an issue in our village. Sorry I don't have anything exciting. I could make something up.

Joesalias9 karma

Is your SO Santa?

hipsteralice28 karma

When he was Santa I was Mrs Claus. When he wasn't we were both Jingles and Jangles the elves.

I-amthegump7 karma

I understand why you were named Jingles. Can you explain why he was called Jangles?

hipsteralice17 karma

Jingle, Jangle, Jingle. Kay Kyser.

mistakenj104 karma

Were you named after your spurs?

hipsteralice4 karma

Yes!

UnstableMonkey9 karma

Is Santa real?

hipsteralice13 karma

What do you think?

tabsmcgab25 karma

This was actually what my mom would say to me when I was younger when I would ask if Santa was real or not. If I said I believed in him she would go "then there ya go! As long as you believe in him he's real" my mom was really hallmark with Christmas

hipsteralice27 karma

I don't like trying to change anyone's views. Bless your mother.

samk198 karma

What's the wildest thing you have seen happen at Santa's Village?

hipsteralice20 karma

Groups of women hitting on Santa. It's weird. Santa isn't comfortable and with it.

metaasmo8 karma

Ever role played Mrs Claus in your outfit with your partner...?

hipsteralice14 karma

No we haven't but apparently he's down.

ChrisFartwick7 karma

Hey could you maybe just take a photo of your face and your user name so that we know the first pics posted are actually of you?

hipsteralice11 karma

http://imgur.com/Gpd8esE

Here you go! I'll edit into the post as well.

Anal_Plugs7 karma

What your favorite Christmas dessert?

hipsteralice15 karma

Ginger cookies. But I just saw a picture of Ferrero Rocher cupcakes......

Soft_Jay6 karma

Twenty years. Twenty years I've waited. Mrs and Mr Claus, why have you forsaken me? I've religiously sent my list to the North Pole and not a single present on that list has been delivered. I feel betrayed. I'm still waiting for my Megazord.

hipsteralice8 karma

Japan wouldn't release the rights to us. :( So sorry.

wordgobbler5 karma

We all know it's the moms of the world helping him, yet, he gets the credit. What gives??

hipsteralice8 karma

Moms and dads always get a thanks!

Talking_Head5 karma

What does Santa smell like?

hipsteralice13 karma

Cookies.

n1mar5 karma

How come Rudolph, a female reindeer, has a male name?

hipsteralice27 karma

We don't think names have associated genders!

ChaoticMC35 karma

Are you willing to have a child with Mr. Claus, or do you already have one?

hipsteralice26 karma

I'm pretty squeamish about having a child. I do however want to adopt an older child that may otherwise have been overlooked due to age.

2T2T5 karma

So what is Santa Claus like in the sack?

humbyj21 karma

i'd assume pretty bad. he only empties his sack once a year

hipsteralice32 karma

I like when he shakes his belly like a bowl full of jelly.

humbyj3 karma

you're a lucky lady, mrs claus.

hipsteralice4 karma

Thank you. I agree. :)

mjmannella4 karma

What do you and Santa do during the off season?

hipsteralice16 karma

Provide assistance to the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny.

Bobozmbiecan4 karma

Can you as Santa why I never got my Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle when I was a kid?

hipsteralice12 karma

Because you were a kid.

His_submissive_slut3 karma

How does Santa and the gang relax after a long evening of delivering presents?

hipsteralice5 karma

We make forts and have a snowball fight. Santa and the elves, and the reindeer with me.

dr_van_nostren3 karma

Is sleeping with Santa mandatory, or just a perk? /s

hipsteralice4 karma

JUST a perk??

dr_van_nostren3 karma

Alright...fringe benefit :)

hipsteralice3 karma

It's quite a privilege.

XxMONKABONKAxX3 karma

What is the worst thing that has ever happened when a kid is talking with santa?

hipsteralice6 karma

Parents telling them not to expect anything because they've been bad kids.

SneakyHomunculu53 karma

"IamA" Mrs Clause???

Not "IamT" (THE) Mrs clause??

How many Mrs does Santa have????

hipsteralice15 karma

But that's not the name of the subreddit!

ShittyAristotle3 karma

I haven't got my free hearthstone pack for Christmas yet... What takes the old man so long?

hipsteralice8 karma

We're trying! Maybe next year. :)

Nam-Nam-Nam3 karma

Santa visits at least 378 million Christian children on Christmas day in 31 hours when Earth rotation and different timezones are accounted for. He must carry 600,000 tonnes of gifts if the average gift weighs 2 pounds. To meet his rounds, he must reach speeds of 650 miles per second. Assuming the reindeer achieve this despite the cynics saying they couldn't, how does Santa not get crushed into a pancake every year?

Kind regards, A cynic

hipsteralice5 karma

Undetectable extension charm.

DingDongJmyJhns3 karma

Thanks so much for doing this!! :D What did you wish for for chistmas?

hipsteralice7 karma

I wished to be able to spend time with my mom. She works all holidays and sometimes she's too tired to do anything afterward. She texted me a little while ago to come over. :)

silverchilde3 karma

So is Santa packin' ?

hipsteralice17 karma

He packs many presents each year.

turn2dust2 karma

Where is this Santa's Village as there is one out where i live here in Illinois ?

hipsteralice2 karma

Ontario has been the closest guess.

[deleted]1 karma

[deleted]

hipsteralice2 karma

As much as they could want. Plus room and board. And food.

YouAutismo-18 karma

Well number one, why would anyone give a shit?

That's actually all the questions I can think of. Just a "look at me" post and you aren't even attractive.

hipsteralice10 karma

Merry Christmas. Hope you liked your coal. :)

notstevedoocy-27 karma

Do you ever feel bad about lying to the children?

hipsteralice13 karma

If parents bring them to us, that's their choice. I don't try to convince children otherwise if they say they just want pictures and think Santa isn't real.

nola-radar6 karma

Wait! Santa isn't real? Childhood ruined.

hipsteralice9 karma

I didn't say that! :)