IamA Mrs Claus at Santa's Village! AMA!

In your opinion, do you consider a hotdog a sandwich?

Hot dogs are a little piece of Christmas joy.

If you order a ham sandwich and get a hotdog would you be angry?

Yes.

What if it's a good hotdog?

All hot dogs are good.

Wait, so you would get angry if you ordered a ham sandwich and got a really delicious hotdog instead?

Sorry I must have misread! I would be elated.

Mrs Claus can you tell me how to put together my new coffee table? The elves forgot to include the instructions this time.

Go back to Ikea!

Is it true elfs get drunk off hot chocolate?

Only on December 26th.

On a side note. I sent out 80 delibirds for Christmas on wonder trade. Named all the males "Tim Allen" and females "Mrs. Clause" lol

LOL I hope they all find good homes. For being delibirds.

Dear Mrs claus. My daughter grace says thank you for the shoes. Did you enjoy your chocolates that we left out for Santa to bring you?

Dear Grace and family,

Santa, the elves, and I are so glad you like your shoes! Please take good care of them for us. The chocolates you left for Santa to bring me were delicious (he ate a few while he was making deliveries last night - it was just what he needed). We shared it with the elves and reindeer this morning when he got back. Thank you for being so considerate!

Merry Christmas! - Mrs Claus, the elves, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen, and RUDOLPH.

PS. HO HO HO. -Santa

I don't think reindeer are supposed to have chocolate.

They're not normal reindeer!

If youre really Mrs Claus, then what song did buddy the elf sing for Mr Claus this year?

He sings me songs all year long.

How about an easier one.... What song did he sing Santa for his birthday?

the birthday one

What he said.

Thanks for doing this AMA Mrs. Claus - you must be very tired today. Tell me about the reindeer. Do you have a favorite?

Each of them have very distinct personalities. No favourites, but I love taking walks at night with Rudolph.

Dear Mrs Claus, what should we do about this ISIS problem?

Today we should spread Christmas cheer and spend the day with our loved ones.

What qualifications does one need to be Mrs. Claus?

All I needed was experience with kids, a clear background check and high tolerance for mean parents.

Bad parent stories? Please?

All happened yesterday.

One parent came late with her kids. We had to cut the line fifty people ago. She threw a fit, asked me to tell her three year old why she couldn't take photos, kept asking why it was a big deal. Asked to see the managers who told her the same thing. Complained we let in adults who were in line before we cut it. We want to get home to our families, too. Why did you wait until the last day? She ended up accosting our Santa on the way back to the change room until he let her take a photo on her phone.

Manager got called a fucking Grinch because we cut the line. Security escorted her out as she screamed obscenities.

Told one man not to take photos on his phone. "Are you serious right now. These are my kids! This is my space. " No personal photography. Period. Privacy concern for children and workers. It's a private mall so there shouldn't be photography anyway. "I'm NOT listening to you, bitch."

some people...

We nearly cried.

Wow it's amazing how badly people are willing to treat others so they can have their own. I hope you had a great christmas!

I did, thank you! :) It's been filled with family and Reddit mostly. And presents. Merry Christmas!

Well, apart from kicking the guy out for breaking policy, there's really nothing that can be done about cell phone pictures

We just ask them to stop. But yeah, it's true not much to be done it they are persistent. If people are nice about it and ask though, we're pretty lenient on it.

So being married to Santa isn't a requirement?

Apologies. I thought that was a given!

What is the funniest reaction to meeting Santa you have seen from a child?

We had a lot of young babies (I'm talking weeks old) this season. One little girl who was barely a month old was passed out, and the mother put her in Santa's arms to try and take a photo where it looks like Santa is asleep too. The girl woke up, stared at Santa for a second like OMGWTFWHOAREYOU ... And then went back to sleep.

Is Santa going to make a fourth The Santa Clause movie ?

Still unknown.

I heard there's a big dispute on the payment clause in the contract.

HAHAHA. You deserve applause, sir.

Does Santa prefer chocolate milk over plain milk, or any other flavour?

He loves white milk and chocolate chip cookies the best, but Santa will eat any cookies and drink any kind of milk!

So there's no truth to the whole Santa being lactose intolerant thing I've been told by my silk drinking mom

If he needs to be....

I have some pretty strict food intolerances and restrictions because of my MS and let me tell you, if Santa still swung by my place he'd be stuck with not only Silk but gluten free carob cookies. Literally what dog bakeries sell, for dogs. >~>

And he would enjoy them all the same!

can you ask Santa why i didn't get a wii u with mario maker?

Really sorry! We can't get everything on everyone's list. :(

Dear Mrs Clause, You both look great! What did Mr. Clause give you for Christmas? Merry Christmas!

Thank you!! He gave me money so I could buy my own presents. Best husband ever. I got him Fallout.

Holy shit, Santa is a gamer?!

PC. Let the judging begin. (Consoles forever.)

Hey, it's understandable Santa is a PC gamer. Fat, hairy and only leaves the house once a year for cookies.

So much this.

I have a very serious question... S... Santa is actually Gaben isn't he.

... I plead the fifth.

Jeez you could have gotten him the latest one at least.

It was!

Merry Christmas, Mrs. Claus! Have you ever read David Sedaris's essay about being an elf in Macy's Santaland? If so, how does your experience compare?

I had actually never heard of this essay until now. I listened to most of it. If you have specific questions let me know, but here is a little comparison.

I know the people who run the village, so there was just a phone call asking if I wanted to help with photos this year. I work with children for my regular job, and since December is a short month work wise I agreed because I could a) use the money and b) thought it would be fun.

My elf name is Jingles. I'm proud of it because I came up with it on my own. And somehow throughout the mall it spread like wildfire and I am called Jingles all year round.

We can dress how we like, as long as it's appropriate. We also are supplied with costumes for all different characters which we can use or not. I often dressed in a tunic with bells. Hence Jingles.

We usually run the booth with 4 people. None of us really have designated jobs, we just all help out where we can and each day we find an efficient routine that works for the specific people on shift. I really liked being a greeter, though, because I got to meet the children and tell them I needed to help Santa check his list twice. So what were your names again??

Overall there were more times where I was really happy I could be there to see the joy on someone's face when they got to meet Santa.

And then there was yesterday where I wanted to rip peoples fucking faces off. It's a weird line of work.

What's the most memorable wish in the past two years you can post?

This one happened this year. This couple with their son came to Santa looking really sad. He asked him to do Christmas early this year because he would be in Mexico. Without missing a beat he said no, because he would find him in Mexico and there was nothing to worry about!

What is one of the nicest things a child has ever said to you while working?

Thanks for the AmA!

A group of children shouted at me and asked me if I remembered them from last year. They were elated when I said yes. Yesterday, all of us took our share of nasty parents. One girl asked me if we needed any help in the village. I had to say no, but I did appreciate it and made sure she knew.

Where the hell is my sex robot? i was really good this year

So sorry. Maybe next year! :)

What do you and your husband tell kids who ask for something really serious for christmas, like "dad coming back", or something else they probably can't have?

My heart breaks for them. I usually take a moment and tell them that even I can't do that. But what I can do is share memories with him/her and ask them for their best memory if they have one.

Grown-ass men taking pictures with Santa is a thing these days. How many adults have come by to take pictures with Santa this year?

People ask for interesting poses with Santa. It's quite amusing and fun to take those pictures.

We had about 2000 people this season. I'd say a good 10% were adults without children.

I was one or them. Multiple times.

Thanks for the reply and Happy Christmas to you. Quite a few of the grown up pics with Santa look like there was alcohol involved. Any good stories? Were there any adults who were so obnoxious that you had to "Nope" them out of there?

Security had to escort a bunch of adults out because they were too aggressive with the elves for not bending rules for them.

Which rules?

No personal photography, set pricing, WE ARE CLOSED....

Where's the craziest place you have found a candy cane?

Use your imagination.

G string or boyshorts?

Boyshorts unless you're wearing a tight skirt.

How did Mr. Clause propose?

He gave me a Pokeball with a ring and said, "I choose you."

Is there any weird things that children have asked for Christmas?

Nothing I would really consider weird. You get kids asking for electronics, sleds, world peace...

Quite often Santa gets asked to bring kids a puppy, kitty etc. Whereas he usually goes, "You want a PUPPY for Christmas?" And looks at the parents. They give him a look which decides what he says next: "I think I can do that for you!" or "Well... I'll try and do that for you, okay?"

How do you stay so young all these years, one would think after a century of being married with mr. claus you would look a bit old don't you think? Do you use some kind of potion or are you immortal?

Christmas magic!

What was the saddest thing you saw while working this holiday season?

Girl wandered into photos by accident and the dad came by and yanked her really hard. She started crying. Proceeded to line up and shout at me when I said he couldn't sit down yet, to make room for families who already had their order in for Santa. After he got his photos taken, he complained that it was his kids fault their pictures turned out "shitty". They were no more than 6 years old.

I can't believe that guy is a dad and I'm not.

I was in disbelief. Everyone around us was.

How do you feel about Nissa attempting to usurp your position as Magic's favorite elf queen, and did you ever meet Irini Sengir personally?

I did not. I'm still the head bitch so all is well.

Did you bang Santa?

Later.

Does Santa get high from pine trees?

I plead the fifth.

Mrs. Claus

What is the modern way of delivering all the presents to the good children of the world?

Nothing modern. Christmas magic.

what was the best gift that you have given to a child? Also, do the smiles of children motivate you?

They really. Really. Do. What's great about our village is that we're only wanting to learn break even when it comes to cost and revenue. So this means there's a lot of leeway with free packages to family, friends and special circumstances. I'm not allowed to give things away, but I'm always working with someone who can. Two days ago there was this lady who came with an adult with down syndrome. They spent a good twenty minutes with Santa as there was no one in line and we were happy to do it. She saw some ornaments we were selling that you could put your picture in and hang it on your tree. To top it off it flashed colours. She fell in love with it and Santa took one and gave it to her before she left. He tried to pay for it but none of us would take his money. He wouldn't take it back so we donated it to a charity across the mall.

Have you ever dated a coworker from Christmas Santa's Village? Do you know anyone who has? Was it awesome/awful?

Edit: Santa's Village. Sorry everyone, sorry.

I don't know anyone who has. A lot of us are married and have our SO work with us, myself included. I don't think it would be an issue in our village. Sorry I don't have anything exciting. I could make something up.

Is your SO Santa?

When he was Santa I was Mrs Claus. When he wasn't we were both Jingles and Jangles the elves.

I understand why you were named Jingles. Can you explain why he was called Jangles?

Jingle, Jangle, Jingle. Kay Kyser.

Were you named after your spurs?

Yes!

Is Santa real?

What do you think?

This was actually what my mom would say to me when I was younger when I would ask if Santa was real or not. If I said I believed in him she would go "then there ya go! As long as you believe in him he's real" my mom was really hallmark with Christmas

I don't like trying to change anyone's views. Bless your mother.

Ever role played Mrs Claus in your outfit with your partner...?

No we haven't but apparently he's down.

What's the wildest thing you have seen happen at Santa's Village?

Groups of women hitting on Santa. It's weird. Santa isn't comfortable and with it.

Hey could you maybe just take a photo of your face and your user name so that we know the first pics posted are actually of you?

http://imgur.com/Gpd8esE

Here you go! I'll edit into the post as well.

What your favorite Christmas dessert?

Ginger cookies. But I just saw a picture of Ferrero Rocher cupcakes......

Twenty years. Twenty years I've waited. Mrs and Mr Claus, why have you forsaken me? I've religiously sent my list to the North Pole and not a single present on that list has been delivered. I feel betrayed. I'm still waiting for my Megazord.

Japan wouldn't release the rights to us. :( So sorry.

How come Rudolph, a female reindeer, has a male name?

We don't think names have associated genders!

So what is Santa Claus like in the sack?

i'd assume pretty bad. he only empties his sack once a year

I like when he shakes his belly like a bowl full of jelly.

you're a lucky lady, mrs claus.

Thank you. I agree. :)

Are you willing to have a child with Mr. Claus, or do you already have one?

I'm pretty squeamish about having a child. I do however want to adopt an older child that may otherwise have been overlooked due to age.

What does Santa smell like?

Cookies.

We all know it's the moms of the world helping him, yet, he gets the credit. What gives??

Moms and dads always get a thanks!

What do you and Santa do during the off season?

Provide assistance to the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny.

Can you as Santa why I never got my Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle when I was a kid?

Because you were a kid.

So is Santa packin' ?

He packs many presents each year.

I haven't got my free hearthstone pack for Christmas yet... What takes the old man so long?

We're trying! Maybe next year. :)

"IamA" Mrs Clause???

Not "IamT" (THE) Mrs clause??

How many Mrs does Santa have????

But that's not the name of the subreddit!

Thanks so much for doing this!! :D What did you wish for for chistmas?

I wished to be able to spend time with my mom. She works all holidays and sometimes she's too tired to do anything afterward. She texted me a little while ago to come over. :)

Santa visits at least 378 million Christian children on Christmas day in 31 hours when Earth rotation and different timezones are accounted for. He must carry 600,000 tonnes of gifts if the average gift weighs 2 pounds. To meet his rounds, he must reach speeds of 650 miles per second. Assuming the reindeer achieve this despite the cynics saying they couldn't, how does Santa not get crushed into a pancake every year?

Kind regards, A cynic

Undetectable extension charm.

How does Santa and the gang relax after a long evening of delivering presents?

We make forts and have a snowball fight. Santa and the elves, and the reindeer with me.

What is the worst thing that has ever happened when a kid is talking with santa?

Parents telling them not to expect anything because they've been bad kids.

Is sleeping with Santa mandatory, or just a perk? /s

JUST a perk??

Alright...fringe benefit :)

It's quite a privilege.

Where is this Santa's Village as there is one out where i live here in Illinois ?

Ontario has been the closest guess.

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As much as they could want. Plus room and board. And food.

Well number one, why would anyone give a shit?

That's actually all the questions I can think of. Just a "look at me" post and you aren't even attractive.

Merry Christmas. Hope you liked your coal. :)

Do you ever feel bad about lying to the children?

If parents bring them to us, that's their choice. I don't try to convince children otherwise if they say they just want pictures and think Santa isn't real.

Wait! Santa isn't real? Childhood ruined.

I didn't say that! :)