IamA disabled comedian whose Tinder profile made the front page. Back w/ more life & comedy experience, so AMA!

Don't you think Dan Sebree is so handsome and your favorite comic in Dayton, OH?

Nah.

:)

How the fuck did this get so many upvotes?! How many accounts do you have, Dan?

Like 125.

Your dedication has earned my love.

What made you choose comedy as your career path?

It just felt right. Growing up, I thought I knew what direction I wanted my life to lead. I had everything planned out, went to college, realized my original path would make me miserable, dropped out of college, and used comedy as a distraction from my directionless life. Then I got hooked.

Wow, even a disabled wannabe stripper has their shit together better than me.

God damn it.

I assure you, I do not. But I'm superb at keeping up appearances.

You're in my top three favourite people now.

Who are the other two?! Curious minds need to know...

Oh so you are superb at keeping up appearances too? You think you are better than me?

*know

Have you heard Jim Jeffries but about taking his friend with muscular dystrophy to a prostitute? Probably my favorite piece of stand-up ever.

Yep! And I love it! His show, 'Legit', is one of the more accurate portrayals of someone with MD that I've seen on TV. I'm a pretty big fan of his.

So what kind of bullshit do you have to put up with on a daily basis from those who are both ignorant and or jackholes?

It isn't nearly as bad now as it was when I was a kid. I'm able to identify ignorance approaching from a mile away and can usually diffuse it before someone makes it a problem. We'll never rid the world of ignorance or assholes, so I'm just satisfied knowing I'm not one of them.

How do you feel about being described as "inspiring?" (I watched "My Gimpy Life" not long ago.)

Folks use that word far too generously. I'm not saying it's never accurate. It's not my place to decide what truly inspires someone. But it damn well better not be for something mundane like "not being dead yet." Yes, I've gotten that before.

I just love the inspiration porn that people indulge in. /s

Whatever gets their ego hard.

I originally found you from your first AMA and I've been following you on Facebook ever since! If you ever make it to Philadelphia I would love to meet you :). If you could travel to any country to perform/sight-see, where would you want to go? Why there?

Probably Australia. I'd love to perform somewhere that it's perfectly acceptable to say 'cunt'.

You should hit up the Edinburgh Fringe! The Scots love a good cunt...

I've got a lot of work to do before I'd be worthy of an opportunity like that!

It is perfectly alright to go somewhere and bomb. Doubt you would though.
Some of the best comedians have some pretty great stories from bombing at huge venues.
Maybe that is what you need to get things up and running.

I don't care about bombing nearly as much as I do about making a good first impression.

Australia has a popular comedy festival, the Adelaide Fringe. I promise if you do a show at the fringe I'll come and I'll bring at least like, three other people I know.

I've got a lot of growing to do before I'd be worthy of an opportunity like that! But hopefully some day. :)

Aussie here - we would be deeply offended if a comedian did not say cunt at least once, and we fucking love our comedy. We also have a small tradition of disabled comics, after Steady Eddie rose to popularity back in the 90s.

Also, Stella Young was an amazing performer and activist who passed away recently who changed the way I think about diability and just people.

I saw Stella Young's TED talk when it first came out and identified with it so much! The world lost a wonderful voice when she passed.

Hiya, fellow crip here. How do you respond to the folks outraged by your "offensive" crip-related jokes?

I usually go with "It's okay, I'm crippled so I can say that!" but sometimes people still find it objectionable.

I simply don't care. Because sometimes, the people who laugh at the offensive shit are the ones who need it the most. They matter more to me than somebody's quest for moral superiority.

Wheelchair bound for 3 years here. having lived on both sides of the chair I can say there are some sweet stories and advantages to the thug chair life. My favorite is going to a grocery store and saying loudly to a non-existent friend: "The best thing about being a cripple is that people get out of your way pretty quickly". All of a sudden, like Moses parting the Red Sea, people hug the freezer doors and you can glide down the isle like Luke Skywalker at the end of A New Hope. Life is what you make it.

I like your style, dariln'! ;)

Whats your success rate on Tender? Are there any people that contact you for reasons other than that they are interested?

I've only been on there a little over a week and for 3 of those days I was blocked for having my account reported too many times. I haven't met anyone on there in-person yet, but there might be the potential for that with a few. Overall, the reaction has been positive with a healthy dose of curiosity. But there are always going to be a handful of trolls.

I don't know too much about how tinder works but why the hell would anyone report you for your profile ? Suggestive Language? Seems like that's what tinder is for in the first place.

More likely they're offended by her being disabled. Somehow to people like that "I'm not attracted to that" translates into "I'm going to report anyone like that".

Maybe they think it's a fake profile mocking crippled people, with the Gimp joke?

I highly doubt that. I find myself agreeing with u/Cunt_Bag, because aside from the joke my profile is pretty genuine.

I think people enjoy reporting others they don't find attractive. There was an issue a few months back over trans folks getting reported/banned for no apparent reason.

Hey Ally this is Tejas from the Ville I'm not sure if you remember me, I think we went to GSP together but also went to U of L around the same time. I just want to say you are awesome. I'm pretty sure you made me poop my pants laughing in Threkeld once! I used to work the drunk lobby crowds and you'd roll in with your filthy mouth and steal the show. I've gone through some shit the last few years and I must say one of the best highlights of my day is seeing your posts on Facebook. You help me keep a stiff upper lip, and make me laugh far too hard. Keep up the good work, and know that we all love you. Are you coming to Denver anytime? If so hit me up I'd love to come out and see you. Question what was the funniest thing that happened to you at Louisville? And who's your fav comedian?

Hi Tejas!! Of course I remember you! You have no idea how happy it makes me knowing I could help you through a tough time. And if there's ever anything I can do for you beyond a laugh or two, never hesitate to ask.

I don't have anything scheduled in Denver, but I hope to some day!

All my best memories from college were made in Threlkeld. My favorite would probably be Freshman year when I and a guy from the second floor nearly got suspended for playing drunken wheelchair rodeo in the lobby. It turned into a whole debacle. But we had far too much fun, so it was totally worth it.

My favorite comedian currently is probably Doug Stanhope. I'm amazed by how dark he can get while still finding humor.

What's your favorite sex position?

I need to figure out if there's a term for it, because I'm not sure how to describe it... I'll get back to you shortly!

The Pretzel?

Not exactly. But minimally similar.

Who has hotter comedians, Cincinnati or Louisville?

Whichever city I'm living in at any given moment.

Boo cop out

I can't helping it if I'm the one who tips the scales!

I'm not really a comedy guy, stand-up has never really interested me, comedy movies aren't my thing, etc. but I'm really enjoying this thread. Maybe you've broken me out of that :-P

Welcome to shit show! :D

Do you think you have

an advantage since you can't

ever be two tired?

Have you never seen those crazy segway-esque wheelchairs?!

But I appreciate the haiku. <3

I just looked them up,

I guess I stand corrected...

I like your mindset!

I like your style.

And maybe even your pun.

Highest of fives, bud!

You're amazing, thanks so much for doing this! I cook for a living, so here's my question: what's your go-to comfort food? Take care, and I wish you the very best of luck!

Potatoes. In any form. When I've had a bad day, I eat mashed potatoes like they're ice cream.

I'm actually starting to try to learn to cook! It isn't easy for me to maneuver around a non-adapted kitchen like mine, so I've been sticking to a crockpot and electric griddle. If you ever come across any neat adaptions in your work that could be useful, I'd love for you to share!

Look into sous vide. All you need is a big pot of water, a small immersion circulator (ananova makes a great one) and a vacuum sealer.

Awesome!! Thank you so much!

What are the biggest issues you have while trying to cook for youself? I, and i am sure other chefs and cooks of reddit would love to help out.

A limitation i can think of off the top of my head would be working at the height of a stove burner. There are portable gas and electric burnerz you can place on a low table, it may be easier for you to reach from chair height.

One big problem for me is lack of dexterity. And also reaching around hot/sharp stuff. For example, if I have a pot of boiling water, I can't reach to take the lid off without using tongs or something. And they don't always provide the safest grip. Also, simply lifting any pots or containers with contents inside is damn near impossible, so I tend to stick to meals that can be done all in one pan.

I've used a table-top burner that my dad uses for camping and it's really nice to have it at a height that's useful. I finally found a knife that's really easy and comfortable for me to use, so that has made a huge difference.

What form of muscular dystrophy do you have? How old were you at the age of diagnosis?

Congenital Muscular Dystrophy. I was diagnosed at about 2.5 years old. But they were pretty certain something was wrong from birth.

In what ways does it affect you? (I understand the vague premise behind the disease, but not much detail.) I have an invisible disability myself.

Essentially, my muscles don't reproduce properly. I don't have the ability to build new muscle mass, so my limbs are very weak. Over time, the weakness leads to muscle contractures. I'm not able to fully straighten my arms or legs and I've got pretty severe scoliosis. My skeletal muscles are the primary issues, but have resulted in secondary issues like lowered lung capacity and sleep apnea. It is a progressive disease, but my abilities are fairly stable now. Any future progress with be minimal and likely only noticeable by those who are around me on a daily basis.

Thanks for explaining! I had heard that muscular dystrophy involved lowered lung capacity.

The thing about MD is that there are over 40 types. And the severity of it ranges from infant death to no visible symptoms. Shit, I've a friend with MD who is a police officer.

Whats one thing you want people to know about having a child/friend with a disability?

Never be the one to tell them they can't do something. They need to learn it first-hand. And sometimes, you might be wrong.

Would you rather have your chair pulled by 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?

Definitely 100 duck sized horses. Because that has r/aww written all over it!

What are your favorite taboo topics to joke about?

Definitely sex. We still live in a society that doesn't view people with disabilities as sexual beings. And I think that's one of the last big hindrances to our social equality.

So what you are saying is you are DTF?

I might be easy, but I'm not desperate.

Heyyyyy.. What are some of your goals in life and in comedy?

Who would you rather see topless? Spark Tabor or Wes Hedger?

I'm pretty sure you only care about the second question, so I'm only going to answer that one:

With a meme

Have you ever done a show where you didn't in any way reference your disability? Or maybe save it right up to the end just to mention it very nonchalant. The former being really funny to you and your friends with the latter being a big ender for the audience?

I've tried. It made the audience uncomfortable. I've learned that if I don't at least address it up-front, it becomes a distraction.

Who have been your favorite comics? Did you enjoy comedy much before you dropped out of college?

I have absolute respect for all the legends, both past and living. But my favorite ones to watch are the ones I've worked with. When I get a glimpse into their off-stage process, I develop a different level of appreciation for what they create.

High school was probably the time when I started getting really into stand up. During college, I met a few comedians around town and my interest grew. After dropping out, I finally had the opportunity and motivation to try it myself.

Have you ever heard of Jake Hurwitz and Amir Blumenfeld? (They are also comedians who use tinder.)

I have not. But I'll look them up!

I'm from the Lexington area. Is there anywhere I can see your show?

There's a bar show down there I need to get on again. Have you ever been to the Twisted Cork? They have a great comedy show twice a month.

How should I clean the beer off of my keyboard at the stairway to heaven line?

With a crazy straw, of course!!

Do you think that making you sure you repeatedly identify yourself as disable is maybe a crutch? I am by no means trivializing your life's travails, but by continually referencing them you bring a sort of downer vibe to your presentation. Doesn't comedy stand on its own? If your stories of disability are funny, wouldn't you naturally succeed without having to label yourself that way?

I understand how it can be seen that way. And I hope to some day get to a point where that isn't even applicable. Creating comedy is an ongoing, ever-evolving process. For now, I don't care if my subject matter is predictable, as long as my punchlines aren't. I have bigger priorities when it comes to aspects of my performances I need to improve on.

As for repeatedly labeling myself, that's more for marketing than a crutch. I use the term "the crippled girl" so it makes it easy for potential fans to find me via google or social media.

Saw you at the Funny Bone in Newport once and loved every second. Wouldn't mind buying you a drink next time you're on stage. Any local (Cincy) performances coming up soon?

Thank ya, darlin'! So glad you enjoyed it!! I'm planning on getting back into the open mics around town during the next couple months. I really need to experiment with some new material. I don't have much local currently booked, but if you let me know when you need a laugh, I'll find something to do. ;)

I'm a teenage girl looking to get into comedy more seriously. Any tips for being a girl in comedy?

Don't be the one to identify yourself as 'a girl in comedy'. Understand there will always be an asshole around, but have confidence that they're the minority. Most important of all, as Steve Martin said, "Be so good they can't ignore you." And have thick skin.

Have you seen the George Romero movie Monkey Shines?

I have not. But I'll check it out!

It's about a monkey who helps out a paralyzed person. The monkey starts becoming possessive. It's Indie horror at its best :)

Those things already freak me out! I never trust anything with fingers that isn't human.

:) In that case, stay away from the movie. The monkey is one of those little ones.

I never mind a few nightmares! Gets the blood pumpin'!

-What is, that you remember, the joke you told that made people your audience laugh the most?

-What's your favorite movie?

-What's your favorite song?

My 'Jesus hates crippled people' joke gets an applause break 80% of the time. Definitely my most successful joke.

Favorite movie: The Goonies

Favorite song: Kentucky Avenue by Tom Waits

[deleted]

One. And a couple I thought were serious at the time, but I was young and dumb.

Did you ever develop clinical depression or anything like that? How do you keep going?

Yes. But not due to my disability. The darkest point in my life was after my best friend's suicide in 2009. I tried medication and wasn't comfortable with the results. I started comedy in late-2010 and it became the only drug I needed.

Bit late to the party, perhaps you may still see this:

Do you have a carer, if so do they get to your with you? Like a glorified roadie!

My dad provides 95% of my care, with a few friends helping out when they're able. And that's one of the biggest factors for why I don't travel more or farther away. For me to do shows out-of-town, Pops has to take off work. He's a champ and has never said no when the opportunity is worth it. I always try to make sure he enjoys our time on the road since he's too stubborn to take time for himself.

I have two questions if that's ok. A) What's your favorite joke? B) What is your favorite book?

I love Stanhope's bit about his mother's suicide. It's so darkly heart-warming, yet hilarious.

Favorite book.. Probably 'The Picture of Dorian Grey'. Several of my favorite quotes come from that work. Like, "If the cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been different."

I'm interested in getting into comedy, but having trouble coming up with "bits" or "rutines" that flow. Going to do my first open mic on Wednesday, what's your best advice? Thanks from a fellow Midwestern guy.

It'll come with time. Focus on getting comfortable on stage. As long as you've got lines that get laughs, the flow will come with experience. Don't make that a priority. But one of the biggest factors in making something into a 'bit' instead of a drawn-out story is cutting out any unnecessary details. The less time you take between laugh lines, the better the payoff.

Best of luck on Wednesday!! Feel free to message me any time.

As a comedian, how do you stay positive (other than acting funny, of course)?

There have been times in my life where the only bit of light was whatever managed to make me laugh that day. I find comfort in knowing I might be giving that to someone else who needs it just as much as I did. Every bad day I've had over the past few years has been trumped by that hope.

Some of my favorite parts in comedy shows are when comedians shut down hecklers. Do you have any good stories about drunken idiots that you fucking lambasted for some shit?

Also, in your experience, do you deal with comparable quantities of these schmucks to other comedians who don't have such an obvious target for the "I'm funnier than the dude/chick that does this for a living" crowd?

Surprisingly, I haven't had many issues with hecklers. As an opener, folks aren't usually too drunk during my set. But I did have a guy who had a heart attack while I was on stage once.

I think I probably get fewer douchebags trying to one-up me. I tend to get the audience on my side pretty early in my set, so if someone finds a bit of arrogance, the audience shuts them up before I ever have a chance to. Mob mentality kinda works in my favor.

Growing up, I had a best friend who was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy when we were 11. His case was very severe and every doctor he went to see said his lifespan was until 14, 17 max. He passed away last year at age 29. The most difficult part of his life wasn't the disease, but his dating life (his direct words). It hurt him. He desperately wanted a girlfriend and the treatment he received from women was more or less "poor guy". They couldn't get past the wheelchair, his limitations such as not being able to stay out too long or becoming very tired.

How has this affected your dating life? Do you discuss your disability with potential dates? I wish I was able to give him better advice.

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. And I can definitely relate to his frustrations.

My dating life has been far from normal. I grew up in a very small town where it wasn't okay to be attracted someone like me. Even now, I don't feel like I'm viewed as a real woman by the majority of the world. I didn't even have my first kiss til I was 21. When I'm with a guy in public, it's often assumed he must be either my nurse or my brother. And you should see the disgusted looks we get if he kisses me, as if I'm being taken advantage of. The sexualization of people with disabilities is considered taboo.

I'm not naive enough to deny that there are unique complications to dating someone with a disability. But that doesn't necessarily mean there are more challenges, they're just more visible and easily identifiable. Especially early on. For example, I don't currently drive. I'm probably the only 27 year old who still has her dad drop her off for a date. That makes shit awkward for all parties. But I also know what I have to offer within a relationship. And, if they take the time to see that, it'll trump the initial awkwardness.

I'm very open with talking about my disability with potential dates. I think it's important for both of us to approach it realistically. If I downplay the extent of my limitations, it'll bite me in the ass later on. But there are guys who aren't fazed by it. Not many, but they exist.

Even now, I don't feel like I'm viewed as a real woman by the majority of the world. I didn't even have my first kiss til I was 21.

I'm sorry you've experienced things that make you feel that way! As a non-disabled woman, I have experienced something similar. I too, didn't have my first kiss until much later than the normal crowd. I believe I was 19 or 20. Even if you don't have a visible disability, society will find a reason to put you down, to some extent. I came to realize this when trying to conceive. Before having my daughter, I had recurrent miscarriages so while I can't directly relate, I can sympathize with that feeling. A large part of "womanhood" is becoming a mother, by society at least. It took many years for me to do and I didn't feel accepted for a very long time.

But there are guys who aren't fazed by it. Not many, but they exist.

That is refreshing to hear.

On a similar note, it's not a common expectation for women with disabilities to want to have kids. At 27, most ladies my age get bombarded with the question "When are you going to settle down and start a family?" I've never been asked that. Not once. I want to be a mom some day more than absolutely anything. But everyone finds some twisted comfort in believing that isn't in the cards for me.

I saw in your previous AMA you hate T Rexes. Is it because you feel like this guy from Meet the Robinsons? (Really recommend it if you haven't seen it). Also I would like to let you know I am stealing your Jesus hates cripples joke, just FYI.

Hah! No. I hate someone who refers to himself as 'T-rex'. I'm good with the actual dinosaurs.

What's you favorite movie of all time?

Probably 'The Goonies'. Sloth is my spirit animal.

Were you on that episode of difficult people? How do you come up with your jokes?

No. That was Shannon DeVido. She's pretty fantastic.

Most of my jokes stem from exaggerated reality. My best material is generated from conversations that start with "Wouldn't it be crazy if..."

As a Comedian, what is your favorite show on TV right now? Mine is a tie between "rick and morty" and "you're the worst"

All my favorite shit keeps getting cancelled. Like 'Legit' and 'Key & Peele'. If I answer, I'm afraid I'll jinx it. :(

We all know that feeling.
Edit: "King Of The Hill". An awesome show. Got cancelled by "The Cleveland Show". & that show's cancelled, too!
I watched that show with my oldest brother a lot on Netflix. & Netflix stopped having that show. & now my brother passed away July 30th.:c (Sorry if I'm sounding "depressing", now.)

hugs

Sorry for being late, but how do you feel about the fans of the music groups that are signed to "Psychopathic Records" are labeled as a "Hybrid Gang"? (Sorry if you didn't want any "Off-Topic" questions, it'd just be neat to hear about a celebrity's opinion.)
& if you don't know about "Psychopathic Records", I'm talking about the groups "Insane Clown Posse"/"Twiztid"/etc., thank you.

I'm glad you added that last line, because I had absolutely no clue what you were talking about. And to be clear, I am far from a celebrity.

I don't have much of an opinion on them. Aside from being a bit envious. There are entire cultures revolving around their music. That's brilliant, from a business standpoint. As for considering them some form of a gang? I think that's a bit of a stretch. They're both destinations for a sense of belonging and unlawful activities may be rampant, but I think that's where the similarities stop.

Sorry I don't have more educated answer. :(

Thank you for responding.

& it's fine! I'm glad that you responded, too!
It'd be awesome if you listened to a song by them. Well. I'm not trying to ask you to. Sorry, I'll shh, now.

I've heard some of their music over the years. It isn't really my cup of tea. But if there's something specific you think I should hear, I'm all ears. :)