I was a Police Officer for 5+ years. In my first 6 months I was involved in an OIS and my partner was shot. I just medically retired at the age of 30 due to PTSD. AMA.

So you don't have to work for the rest of your life at 30? Do you get a pension or something?

I'm guessing I just want to know what you mean by "medically retired?"

I second this. Are you being paid now that you are out?

Or are you on disability?

I'm getting a settlement from my employer, and a monthly payment from our retirement system. There a different forms of medical retirement, but I was diagnosed by a bunch of doctors and there are thousands of pages of medical reports.

Taking this from my ELI5 post.

Why are there different types of law enforcement, officers, state patrol, sheriffs etc, and what different powers do they have? I saw a state patrol car earlier and realized that I don't know why we have different names or what they do.

Softball question, I love it! Police Departments patrol specific City's, Sheriff's Departments have jurisdiction over Counties, and State Patrol (like CHP) patrol the freeways. There are exceptions to this, such as a City contracting with a Sheriff's department for their services. Compton had their own PD back in the day, but for a variety of reason they dissolved the whole PD and Compton is now patrolled by LASD.

Now all that being said, in California, a law enforcement officer has powers throughout the state. Therefor, just because you see a LAPD Officer in Sacramento, doesn't mean he can't pull you over, because he can. The whole "jurisdiction" thing, as far as not being stopped because you "crossed over the county line", is a myth. However, I'm not sure this applies to all states.

I know highland park and university park ( cities inside Dallas, tx) police cannot cross into Dallas except for a felony crime.

I'm guessing that's not state law. That's more likely individual department policies, or an agreement between the departments. And that's most likely in the case of an actual pursuit, where the pursuit will be passed of to the local agency simply because they know the area better.

It doesn't apply here in my state, the only way police from a different jurisdiction can pull someone over is if there is a chase and it crosses jurisdiction, and then whatever cities happen to be involved in the chase get involved, a guy a few years ago got a case thrown out because an arrest was made just past the border of another departments jurisdiction

Like I said, I can't speak for every state, but most people here think a city copper can't pull you over on the freeway, which isn't the case.

BTW, a bunch of cities/agencies all getting involved in one pursuit usually leads to a total clusterfuck at the end. Kinda funny to watch but very dangerous.

Aside from counter-terror exercises like Urban Shield, how often do different departments train with each other for more mundane things like this?

I can't remember ever really training with other departments as a whole. Our SWAT team did plenty of training with other SWAT teams, but I can't really speak to that.

This also applies to Texas. If a Fort Worth officer pulls you over in Dallas he can write you a ticket, but there is more paperwork involved.

Basically it comes down to knowing what court to write the ticket to in that jurisdiction.

I was thinking about this earlier, how do you think we can go about bringing the relationships between officers and citizens closer together? I was born in 1992, so I didn't witness it much first hand, but I remember stories from my parents and grandparents about police playing a role in the community, being on a first name basis with families, stopping to play with children, helping out however they can.

Now, I see people avoiding police, everyone seems on edge when the have to interact, and there's a real us vs them mentality. Could you identify anything in your training or daily duties that could be causing this, or is it the same thing as people not knowing their neighbors anymore?

Great question. On one hand some people would say it has to do with the increased use of cars, and decrease in foot patrols. I've seen first hand how much foot patrols changes the relationship with the community in that area. But beyond that, cops tend to only associate with other cops, and yes, part of that is training. I was essentially trained to never let anyone know you're a cop unless you know who they are, and I would definitely say that has hurts the overall relationship between the public and LE. That's a very big issue with many different aspects. Such as the media coverage of mainly negative incidents, and little to no coverage of anything positive for LE.

This may be a stupid question but i'll ask anyway. You said that you were to never let anyone know you were a cop unless you knew them. What is the purpose of this? Is it really that dangerous for it to be common knowledge that you are a cop?

It can be, yes. You basically don't want everyone knowing, in case you run across someone who just REALLY doesn't like cops for whatever reason. If you're off-duty and come across one of those people it could be very bad news.

Do you treat your ptsd with dank medical marijuana?

Sometimes, yes, but my card recently expired and I haven't gotten around to getting it renewed.

I hope you're still answering questions because I'd really like to know how marijuana helped you with your PTSD? If it did help at all.

Definitely helped with sleep and anxiety, but it took me a long time to find something that helped with anxiety without making me want to take a nap. I actually still have some but I haven't really used it for awhile.

Thanks very much for the answer!

I also checked out your YouTube channel, can't wait to see more videos!

No problem!

And thank you! Be sure to subscribe and if you have any questions leave them in the video comments or tweet me. I'm always looking for new material topics!

What is it that you found helps your anxiety without the drowsiness?

XJ-13

Hi, I'm very late to the party, but I hope you'll see this. I have severe PTSD as well, and have yet to find anything that helps the anxiety and paranoia. I sometimes sleep for only a couple of hours, and those hours are constant nightmares. I have a service dog who is learning to settle me down during the nightmares, by either waking me up or cuddling close so that I feel more secure. I hate that my husband has to deal with my problems. The guilt never gets easier. It costs him sleep a lot, too. It's not fair, but I don't know what to do. I'm going to a new therapist soon, but I'm really struggling. I can't sleep, the anxiety puts me off food, and I have to keep trucking on like everything is totally fine.

If there's anything you do for the symptoms other than medical marijuana, I'd welcome any advice or insight you would be willing to share.

Consistent therapy is a must! The right medication(s) can help, but not without therapy. Any self-medication, especially alcohol, will only drag you down further. The one thing to keep in mind is that recovery is a process, and it take time, but things do get better! It took me a very long time to admit that there was a problem, then a long time to accept it, and then a long time to truly start dealing with it, rather than just doing the minimum. I have also found exercise and meditation to be helpful as well. But again, it takes time, and hard work, but remember that you aren't alone, and things will get better.

Also, as hard as it may be, talking is the best thing you can possibly do. If you can't talk to someone, write. Journal, get everything out, it may sound stupid but it helps!

I know how you feel about the guilt. I stuck my gun in my mouth in front of my ex-girlfriend, and it's something that kills me to this day. She stayed by my side during the darkest time in my life, even though she had only known me for a few months. I would not be here today if it weren't for her love and support. But the fact is, I traumatized her by what I did, and I live with that guilt every day. Now we don't even talk.

I have to leave for a few hours for a meeting, but I will be checking back later. Feel free to ask if you have more questions or need any clarification. You can also send me a direct message if you'd prefer not to post something publicly. That goes for anyone who has serious questions about PTSD.

Do you think the mindset of agencies has changed from protect and serve to something else? I'm really scared to be pulled over by cops, and for the record I'm a white male in my thirties don't do drugs, have a family, drive a nice vehicle with insurance and live in the suburbs, the other night I got tailed by a cop at 40mph on a dark two lane road, he was within five feet of me for a half mile, so close in fact I could make his silhouette out in the rear view mirror, I was terrified.

I don't think the mindset of agencies has changed, so much as the relationship between the community and law enforcement. The media, IMO, tends to fuel the fire of community animosity towards law enforcement, leading law enforcement to become more closed off and angry at the community for their animosity, and it just keeps getting worse and worse.

That being said, I used to get nervous when a cop was behind me, and I was a cop! It's a pretty normal reaction to be honest. If you know you haven't done anything wrong and have nothing to hide, just take a breath and keep on driving.

What is your view on claims that the police are becoming increasingly militarized? Do you believe they are accurate, or are they exaggerated?

Most of the arguments I've seen as far as militarization are concerned have to do with the equipment being used and the clothing being worn. Citing clothing that police are wearing seems ridiculous to me, but overall, it pretty clear to me the use of giant military-type vehicles isn't doing anything good to help the relationship between police departments and their communities.

How are you holding up brother?

Former PD here, had to deal with some PTSD and ended up resigning (induced by military stuff though).

Do you have any nightmares? I still get them at least once a night. It's usually a variation of "the world is crushing around me" or some shit in a tunnel...wake up in a cold sweat and scare my wife half to death. And the incident happened over three years ago.

Hope you are doing better.

Ups and downs bro, definitely been better, but I've also been MUCH MUCH worse.

Nightmares are typically few and far between, but occasionally. My sleep in general is pretty shitty, and I usually have night sweats. I'm sincerely sorry to hear about your situation. Just remember that you're not alone by any means, and treatment is important, as much as we want to do shit on our own, it's never enough. Feel free to PM me here or on any of my other social media contacts in my original post if you need anything. Again, you are not alone.

“Do not by any means destroy yourself, for if you live you may yet have good fortune, but all the dead are dead like.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy

Thanks for your words and I'm glad you're doing better.

It's weird: I have nightmares but my day to day is fine. I left my agency over 2 years ago due to this, and I still want to go back into law enforcement, even though I know that it's not the right choice for my family. I still want to go back in the Army. And that's DEFINITELY not the right choice. Especially since my back is fucked up from my last deployment. It's an itch that won't go away.

I still haven't figured out if I want to do it because I miss it, because I want to prove I still can, or something else. I just told my wife I spoke with a recruiter today about re-upping and going Army CID, and she just about shit a brick. Gave me the "do whatever the fuck you want but don't blame me when shit goes sideways" look. My last deployment really messed up the family dynamics and almost cost our marriage. Yet here I am wanting to go back...am I stupid, crazy, or what?

I guess I don't really have a point just ranting, but I don't really have anybody to rant to. Thanks for your words.

The fact of the matter is, it takes a certain type of person to go into those careers, and there's a reason we did. I have always been the protector, the fixer, and it takes a certain mentality to keep that going. It took me a LONG time to realize there was a problem, and then a long time to accept it, and then a long time to realize that the job isn't fucking worth your life. It's a process, but eventually, with help, hopefully you'll come to the same conclusion and figure out what you want to do beyond that.

night sweats.

I get the same thing. A fan helps. I also like the noise. I can't stand silence when I sleep because I have auditory flashbacks when its too quiet.

Trust me I have a fan, it helps a little, but without central A/C blasting, I'm usually drenched.

is End of Watch your favorite cop movie? if not, what is?

Absolutely. It's extremely realistic in many respects, especially the camaraderie and friendship between partners. It's very reminiscent to shit I went through. I've watched it 10-20 times and have never made it through without crying.

What is a benefit of working as a cop that you didn't think about as you joined?

I've actually never really thought about that. I guess I would say some overtime jobs were pretty sweet, working on movies/tv shows, shit like that. Especially if they had good craft services!

So obviously mental illness is a serious issue no matter who is suffering, but it seems like it would be of particular concern when paired with positions of extreme power and responsibility (like, for example, an armed LEO).

You offhandedly mention "Due to the culture in Law Enforcement, I convinced myself I was okay". Do you think that your situation is common? Do law enforcement officers tend to resist acknowledgement of their mental health problems? Do you think this impacts their ability to do their jobs?

I guess I'm really just asking for your assessment of the scale of this problem. Put more bluntly: are there tons of jumpy, irritable, and heavily-armed cops running around on too little sleep?

^{Hmm. That might have been too blunt.}

Basically, we are required to see a department doctor after an OIS before returning to work. I was told "Don't tell them anything unless you want to get retired. If you're having problems, go to your own doctor". It is not something that is talked about, really at all. There are resources which nobody uses for fear of lack of confidentiality. Nobody wants to be seen as "weak" in law enforcement. As one of the few people I still talk to at my old department recently put it, "There are a lot of walking wounded."

Personally, my HUGE issues mainly affected my life off-duty, and I was good at keeping it there. But at the same time, I did really dangerous stuff while on-duty, completely putting my life at risk, simply because I didn't care, or thought I could handle it by myself, and I didn't want to put anyone else in the line of fire again. I was never overly aggressive, or irritable towards citizens, and I never once received a citizen complaint. Now obviously something like PTSD will have different symptoms in different people, so it's not out of the realm of possibility, but again, nobody talks about it. IMO, it would be impossible to get any kind of estimate on police officers affected by PTSD.

"Don't tell them anything unless you want to get retired. If you're having problems, go to your own doctor"

This advice is also found at universities like MIT with respect to mandatory medical leave. There has got to be a system to handle this sort of thing.

It's unacceptable, and it's actually not even true. There has to be a complete culture change when it comes to how mental illness is viewed. A great example is a scene from the FX show rescue me, where all of the guys refuse to talk to the "shrink" who's brought in. I'll see if I can find it.

I know it would cost money, but I'm starting to think we should have some system in this country where everybody has an annual "mental health" checkup, analogous to a yearly physical. Of course, mostly it would be people talking about habits they were trying to break or whatever, but it would mean that when they did have someone they needed to see for a serious issue, they had a primary care provider.

I've thought about something similar for law enforcement. Frequent check-ins with a therapist should absolutely be required. But IMO, it would never work. The whole culture is so against it, you could force them to go, but they won't actually use it and it won't do any good.

I think you'd have to frame it in a positive way like rather than "fixing the crazy".

I also believe that folks who are trying to lose weight should focus on increasing their deadlift numbers and decreasing their bicycle mile times. I'm not actually sure what the research says on that though.

Exactly. It would have to be seen as a normal part of the job rather than something that shows weakness.

Yikes. Well, thank you for your answer and for your service.

You're quite welcome, and thank you.

What was the process/investigation like after the OIS?

With all the recent accusations of evidence suppression and other such corruption in OIS investigations, I'm interested to know what the process is like.

Thank you for your service to your community. I have great respect for the men and women in blue (or brown, or black or whatever color they use nowadays).

They basically take you straight back to the station and isolate you. Luckily one of my FTO's was working that night and he hung out to make sure I was (somewhat) okay. After a few hours the attorneys showed up and we told them what happened. Because it was a clear-cut justified shooting, they were okay with us giving voluntary statements to detectives. The DA's Investigators also showed up and I went back out to the scene to do a walkthrough. I was almost there for 24 hours that day. I hope that answers your question!

And thank you for your kind words!

God. This is great that someone wants to make sure you are alright. This shit doesn't happen in the military. Someone you know gets shot...that sucks....CM.

That's an interesting question, or not one at all... either way, there's plenty people and organizations raising awareness about PTSD in the military, and yet I've never seen a single thing about LE, so I'm not sure exactly what your point was.

Not really a question. More that I am happy for you that someone was there immediately following the incident.

Its not so much the PTSD I was referring to. Because, while they are working with soldiers to help them with it, its still more of a "side effect" of the job.

We had an incident overseas where there was a shooting involving someone in our unit and a "friendly". It wasn't FF. Someone we were helping. Anyways. This incident happened. A great guy lost his life, and after resolving the incident, we were supposed to continue on with business as usual.

I hope this is an isolated thing and doesn't happen in the service too often if at all. That being said, I am genuinely glad they had someone with you to help immediately following the situation.

I had a buddy at work who was a Navy SEAL, and was on-duty the night of my incident, here's how he explained it to me. When he got in his shit, he still had his boys around, and then they had some time off but they always had each other there for support. He told me he remembers seeing me sit by myself in the same room with him and a bunch of other SWAT guys, and not a single person asked how I was. I guess he regretted not asking, knowing how something so simple could have made a huge difference, but nobody wanted to talk to "the rookie", that's not what we do.

that's really interesting stuff. what do you think about this post at Popehat in light of your own experiences?

Ken White argues that police in OIS are treated differently than citizens suspected of shootings, and get more benefits and better treatment during investigations. Note, Ken is a former prosecutor and so has some first hand experience with these things.

Note: this only applies to when police shoot civilians. I'm not sure if that was the case in your situation. Thanks for doing this, by the way. I'm not trying to be a douche or overly confrontational. I really want to know what you think.

I'm trying to answer all questions right away, so I'll have to read the link and respond specifically to that later.

I will say that every department, depending on the area, is going to be different. And he is responding from a prosecutorial standpoint, probably having no knowledge of what goes down back at the station.

In my case, even though I was being interviewed by our detectives, and the shooting was completely justified, there were times during the interview when I felt like they were almost trying to blame me for how things ended up, and that was a shitty feeling. From my experience, I can say it didn't happen, but I'm sure there's at least some truth behind what he's saying.

How can I get my best friend's boyfriend to address his PTSD and get help? We worry about his well being, especially in the long term of there is one. Thank you and stay well.

That's an extremely tough issue. I've always said, "You can't help people help themselves", and to a certain extent that's true. I denied there was a problem for years, even in the face of my own mother telling me a had changed. I didn't really FEEL different, and I thought I knew better. Looking back now I can pinpoint each issue, but at the time I had been convincing myself everything was fine for so long I believed it was 100% true. Even when I was seeing a psychiatrist if she said anything like that sounded something close to "you're not okay" my instinct was to say, "fuck that!" Maybe link him to this AMA as a start.

Thank you. We were hoping the recent suicide of a friend would be a wakeup call, but he's withdrawing more than usual. I can't imagine what he's going through, or what you're going through, but I just want him to know there's help and support.

It's such a tough situation. I can't tell you how many times I pulled away from people even though they were trying to be there. Part of the reason was I just didn't care, and part of it was they truly didn't understand what I was dealing with, and there was no way I could explain it. As much as I wish there was one piece of advice that could help, there is no magic solution. Keep reaching out, and showing that you're there, and maybe even suggesting getting help. Ultimately the realization of the problem and decision to get help rests upon that person. I wish you all the best.

What's the general opinion on armed citizens? I'm guessing when you pull up info on a call or person, it shows if they have a registered gun, yes? Does that make you extra cautious?

I can't really answer that, as I am in California, and it was rare to find people with guns outside of the home. We could have dispatch run specific people for guns to see if any were registered to them, but that was pretty rare and based on the type of call. I guess to answer your question, I was usually cautious, regardless of whether or not I thought a gun was involved. I found out VERY early on, you never know.

Whoops, I read your response and then re-read mine and realize I did a poor job of asking my question. But you did give some good insight, so thank you.

I meant to ask how you feel about citizens lawfully owning guns in their homes. I moved to California a year or so ago and most people I talked with do NOT own guns and are sort of negative about it unless they are gun enthusiasts or 2A supporters.

I have plenty of guns, and I have no problem with people owning them legally. The fact of the matter is, bad guys will always be able to get guns, that problem will never go away. Many Californian's don't like guns, or don't own them, because they drive Prius'. It's a VERY liberal state.

This may be a bit too personal, but it's an AMA, so hey... how do you feel about people with mental illnesses owning guns?

There are laws in place that do not allow people who have been placed on psychiatric holds to own or possess firearms. It's a tricky question because where is the line drawn? I have PTSD but I would never hurt anyone else. At the same time, how many people have undiagnosed mental illness? There will never be a psychiatric test for gun ownership.

Can you as an American have plenty of guns even though you have PTSD and medical retirement? Don`t think I would have gotten a permit in Norway with that going on.

In my case, yes. However, I am not eligible for a CCW in retirement like most officers.

However, if at some point I had been put on a psychiatric hold against my will, I would no longer be able to own or possess any firearms.

What's CCW?

Google is your friend!

But, it means Carrying a Concealed Weapon. It's a permit which allows you to do just that.

So, first of all, I want to thank you for your honesty here about your experience, your PTSD, and your intention to create better understanding between law enforcement and the communities they serve. That's all amazing to see.

But--as someone who lived in the Bay Area for several years--the dislike I and my friends and neighbors had (have) for guns has nothing to do with our choice of automobiles, and everything to do with our awareness of the reality that homicides by gunshots in the United States are obscenely higher on a per capita basis than almost any other industrialized nation--most of whom have strict gun control laws.

So...for stating that your intent is to increase understanding between police and communities, reducing the people and neighbors who disagree with you on this to a caricature that we think this way because we drive Priuses (which is funny because a lot of us don't) is silly. Please, do better. That's all.

I was being sarcastic... I'm trying to make this somewhat fun! I was born and raised in the Bay Area, and my best friend is a Deputy up there. Regardless, my point remains the same, bad guys will always get guns, I've seen it first hand.

Rare to find people with guns, or legally registered guns? L.A., Oakland, etc.

Depends on the area, but my point was, as a cop you can never know., and should always be prepared. I worked in a pretty good area, and plenty of bad shit still happened.

What do your former co-workers think about your situation?

I still talk to maybe one or two people who work there, so I can't really say. Most people don't give a fuck about their so-called "brothers" once they aren't around anymore.

As a cop, What are some of the best moments you had on the job that come to mind?

Without giving the standard "helping people" answer, even though it is true. For me, knowing/being reminded people appreciated what I did, rather than the constant stream of negative police stories seen in the media, was always awesome for me. A handful of times people would buy our lunch, and then leave before we could even thank them.

Do you think every police department should make it mandatory to have a second unit on seen if someone is being pulled out of their car?

Yes, absolutely. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of areas where it's just not possible due to lack of personnel and/or huge patrol area.

I appreciate you doing this AMA. My friends father was a police officer until he developed a huge combination of problems (pills, booze, mental instability) and ended his own life. What type of therapy did you seek for your PTSD? How did you decide that you needed to help yourself? What is your stance on maps.org ?

I'm very sorry to hear that. Unfortunately it's a story that's all too common, and yet very few people talk about PTSD in connection with Law Enforcement. I was fortunate in that I was seeing a psychiatrist for adderall, but I would always go in, say I was fine, get my prescription and leave. For months I considered saying something more, but I couldn't do it. Eventually she looked at me and said, "What's wrong?" and I broke down. She saw something and called me out on it, and I couldn't keep it in anymore. I'd done it for years. Looking back I realize there were plenty of signs, but I ignored them because I thought I knew better. Even after starting treatment it took me a very long time to truly admit that there was a problem.

What were the main, "signs" that you were able to see? For the past two years I have wondered if I have PTSD from my deployment overseas, but I keep doing the same thing; saying everything is fine, im good and move along.

For years my ex and my mother would tell me I had changed, but I didn't feel like I had, and I thought I knew better. When my marriage began to break down, and it was obviously heading towards divorce, I really didn't care... I basically felt nothing about the whole thing. Looking back, I realize I was very depressed, I was drinking a TON, and I was regressing from everyone. Many people say they self-medicate with alcohol to numb themselves, or forget, but truthfully when I was drinking was the only time I felt anything, unfortunately it was usually sadness.

Once you have convinced yourself that you're okay, it's EXTREMELY difficult to see it any other way. As I said a few other times before in here, it took me a long time to admit there was a problem, and then a long time to accept it, and much longer to make any sort of progress.

PTSD is NOT a sign of weakness, it's absolutely NOT abnormal, and you are by no means alone. MOST people who come back from deployment have some level of PTSD; it's a completely normal reaction to a completely abnormal situation

I guess my advice would be, ask people who are close to you, and take what they have to say to heart. Go see a therapist and try to open up, even though I know how hard it is. Just try to be honest and open with yourself, but if you're asking the question then you probably already know the answer.

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it brother.

No problem bro! I will continue replying to this even as it dies off, but feel free to send me a direct message anytime!

I'm sorry this happened to you. As an officer who was on the other side of the gun, how do you think your experiences might help civiilans who are afraid of the police?

To a certain extent, this is something I want to address with my YouTube channel; to explain why police in certain situations do what they do. I never thought I was going to be shot at on that particular night, but in my line of work I could never know. I'd rather be pointing my gun at someone and find out they don't have any weapons, than be pointing my taser at them and have them pull out a gun.

Why were you not better prepared to deal with the aftermath of the shooting? Would you say it was the department's fault for not teaching you the coping skills prior?

In the academy, we were told little to nothing about PTSD. After the shooting I was told not to tell the department doctor anything unless I wanted to end up out of the job, and being brand new I absolutely did not want that. It basically snowballed from that point on. There is a culture of not talking about anything because you don't want to be seen as weak by your peers. There needs to be a complete culture change within law enforcement when it comes to mental illness.

So you didn't talk to a department doctor because everyone would find out how weak you were and probably not fit for duty. Did you seek help outside the department?

I didn't say anything to the doctor because I was told not to. Even then, she only asked about my feelings on shooting someone, which wasn't really my problem. My issue was more with me feeling responsible for putting my partner in the position to be shot, and feeling like it was me who should have been shot instead. However, at the time I didn't realize this. One thing about PTSD is that it develops over time and symptoms come up months/years later. By the time I started having issues I had convinced myself I was perfectly okay and I refused to believe otherwise, even though my family was telling me differently. Eventually, yes I got help outside of the department, but several years after.

Verified.

Thank you!

How many things did you witness other officers doing that would be considered crimes if anyone else did them? How many of those officers did you arrest? How many did you report? Did you ever break the law as a cop? Were you drug tested?

I can't say that I actually saw other officers committing criminal acts with my own eyes, but I've heard plenty of stories of REALLY crazy shit. I saw a highly questionable use-of-force when I was in my first few weeks on the job, but I couldn't do shit about that. I know of plenty of officers arrested for off-duty conduct. I've only arrested one, apparently former officer, who was carrying a loaded and concealed gun in his car and lying about his reason. Yes, I still speed a lot, it's a bad habit. I was drug tested when I was hired.

Thanks for the direct answers.

Anytime. Unlike many people on the job, I can think for myself, and I've seen past all of the bullshit. The reason for my YouTube channel is to give a no bullshit perspective. For viewers to hear a (now former) cop say things like, Walter Scott was straight up murdered, and I've never seen a more clear example of a bad shooting.

Do you go to see a psychologist at all? If so does it help? I'm in college right now for psychology and want to specialize in helping officers/ veterans with PTSD.

Yes, and she specializes in LE. I actually have a bachelors degree in Psych. If you send me a direct message I will send you a link to her website.

How would you describe the content of your YouTube channel?

I'm trying to create a better understanding between the community and law enforcement by answering questions about LE, and educating people on common misunderstandings about the law, in a fun/personable way. In my second video I talk about the Miranda Warning, which is completely misunderstood thanks to TV/movies.

In my second video I talk about the Miranda Warning, which is completely misunderstood thanks to TV/movies

link? I would like to see that.

Link to my channel is in my initial post, but here's the link specifically to that video https://youtu.be/ll7BCvq3FZw

that video is bat shit insane. illustrating discussions on police with in-game footage from GTAV? BRILLIANT!!!!!

Hahaha, thank you very much! I'm attempting to address serious issues and topics, educate people, maybe change some minds, but at the same time keep it fun and interesting! Feel free to share! And definitely Sub!

What do you think about this webcomic drawn by an attourney that tries to educate people about the basics of the law. Here is its interrogations section summarized by this flowchart

I think any education is great. But there's only so much people will understand and actually. IMO, those subjects are very complicated and it would take some studying to remember them correctly. That could lead to people thinking they know what they're talking about, and getting themselves in trouble.

1. What do you think of the #BlackLivesMatter protests?

2. Are body cameras going to help us keep "bad" cops accountable?

3. Are you in favor of all officers wearing body cameras? If not, why?

1. Real talk, all lives matter (except maybe legit child molesters and rapists). Now I've seen some politicians on the news answer that question the same way and they got boo'd. Why? Can you really argue against that? Are the lives of people from one race worth more than the lives of people from another? IMO, absolutely not. But the current state of the relationship between communities and police departments is such that "black lives" are the focus, which seems to be the case more often than not, and that's unfortunate.

I appreciate your good intentions in all your responses so please take my explanation as a well-meaning rather than overly critical. Being sympathetic to the BlackLivesMatter movement but also to those who don't get the appeal, I've struggled to come up with a way to explain the shortcoming of the "all lives matter" response. Luckily, other people have, so I'm going to mush the smart responses I've heard together.

So first of all, the intended context of BLM is not to elevate black lives above others (though I can understand why it could be perceived that way). Rather, it is assumed that other lives are already valued, be that police lives, white lives , etc. when someone says this (generally speaking, of course. Always some idiots out there.). It's not a "me me me" statement, it's a "me too" statement.

The best analogy is to imagine going to the doctor for a broken leg. Doctor is a little dismissive, not sure if you need that much medical attention. Doctor pleads with you that to focus on your one broken leg is unfair, because all legs deserve to be healthy. Of course, who would disagree that all the legs should be healthy? It's just that this one is broken!

The useful premise to take away is that, from the viewpoint of people in the movement, is that society in general doesn't recognize the preciousness of the lives of black people the way it does for majority groups. I'm sure you hear comments that insinuate that committing a petty crime or being moderately non-compliant with a police officer rightly create scenarios where a person loses their life. BLM would argue that maybe if the people paying with their life for small or nonexistent offenses were from groups not stereotypically associated with crime, the reactions would be different.

Anyway, this isn't meant to chastise, just to inform you in a way that finally helped me to grasp these tough issues. These things can be overly simplistic; it's hard to convey a nuanced message to a huge number of people. Even in this small setting I've seen your responses get misunderstood and taken out of context, so I'm sure you can sympathize with that.

Best of luck with your YouTube endeavors and a happy life ahead!

I completely understand. I guess from my perspective, I've never treated anyone differently based on race, regardless of the situation. Each incident is different and respect and the ability to talk to people goes a LONG way. And at the end of the day, I truly feel that so many of these issues between the community and law enforcement, race based or otherwise, could be helped immensely by just talking with open minds. But again, animosity begets animosity, and the cycle continues, and we never get anywhere as a COUNTRY.

1. Yes and no. They are a piece of technology which can be manipulated, erased, edited, broken, etc. Will they help? I'm sure they will, but ultimately keeping "bad" cops accountable starts with hiring the right people and training them correctly.

1. I honestly cannot see how anyone could argue against body cameras. Except maybe in cases where it could end up fucking otherwise good officers because "cop humor" during a private conversation.

Did you ever consider joining SWAT?

Yes. Even though I was at the top physically and on par with other applicants in the other aspects of the testing, they chose who they wanted. It was very much the "cool-kids-club".

Was there ever an experience you had while being a cop that made you think "this is why I do this. I put up with all this stress and crap for moments like this" ?

Anytime someone reminded us that they appreciate what we do, always reminded me why I did it. I also loved doing presentations at schools and showing kids we aren't something to be feared.

What is your favorite thing about being a cop?

Funniest encounters?

Funniest encounter? Off the top of my head, I once had two friends who were high as fuck in our drunk tank. One guy proceeded to reenact the "schnozberries" scene from Super Troopers on the window of the cell, which is not the least bit clean, BTW. A little while later I walked by and the same guy is yelling to me, "Hey man, somebody shit in here!" as he's laughing and his friend is cleaning up what undoubtedly was not his own feces.

TL/DR Guy was an asshole and made his friend clean up his shit, but his tongue probably later fell off from some new infection after licking a cell widow.

I saw that in your channel video, lold hard

Well damn, thanks for watching!

Drunk people are usually good for entertainment. One guy knocked himself out in the back of the car on the way to the jail after hitting his head on the plexiglass. He was mid-sentence, went out for a few, woke up and kept talking like nothing had happened. Drunk teens on the other hand are a nightmare, a great mixture of rage and crying, usually simultaneously.

You will definitely love this

Sometimes it's hard not to laugh, but dealing with drunks can also get REALLY old.

I'm not sure how the system works with traffic accidents over there, but I'll ask my question anyway. If you attended crash scenes, based on what you observed what vehicles/brands do you think are safer/offered better protection?

I can't really say, accident scenes were never my thing. I've seen plenty where the car did not hold up well, although it's hard to say what kind of car it was before being ripped in half by a light pole.

What kind of change do you believe needs to happen to stop all these police shootings going on it seems like now every month here in America?

Police shootings have always happened, and unfortunately they probably always will. Honestly, I haven't looked at the statistics, but I don't think there's necessarily been an increase in shootings, but the increased amount of cameras everywhere has made them more visible, and media coverage has shed more light on specific incidents.

What kind of people (in your experience) go into policing? I am often shocked by how aggressive and rough police are in videos of arrests (and I'm talking about videos of non-violent/unarmed people). Often it appears rather unnecessary. Is this actual protocol, or are these guys jerks looking to get off on the power, or ????

As I said before, this is why I'm trying to create more of an understanding about why police do what they do. Often times I hear people in videos just absolutely shocked by police attempting to take a person into custody, even though it's completely by the books. If a person is resisting officers, officers will overcome that force. Sometimes it's not pretty, and most of the time their resistance can't really be seen in videos. Here's a great example of that, and the problem with media/social media coverage. https://youtu.be/FC_Wn3Foovs

But yes, there are some cops who tend to be "heavy handed".

I think a video series going through a bunch of footage of police-civilian (including police-criminal) interactions and explaining police perspectives might be useful. If you got funding for it through patreon or kickstarter or something, would that be something you'd consider doing?

What if it was you co-hosting with someone critical of how police handle things and providing the sort of perspective /u/adarkfable did elsewhere in the thread?

I have already thought of both ideas, and it's still something I am very much interested in doing. I put those ideas farther down on the list of "projects", hoping to build a bigger audience for it first. I even have some "Police brutality" footage saved for that purpose, and I take note of recent incidents.

1. Do you think the war on drugs has been a major contributing factor to the militarization (hyper-aggressive tactics, not equipment) of police? It seems as if every citizen is now viewed as a potential drug bust rather than a person.

2. Do you believe justice reform (holding more police accountable and not buddying up with DA's) will improve police behavior? when I was overseas in the Infantry, we were held up to such strict positive ID ROE's and knew we'd be prosecuted if we messed up.

3. Do you have any thoughts on how to fix PD corruption? As in, using the PD for revenue generation, or political repression and intimidation.

4. Do you think anything good will come out of this era of strained Police and citizen relations?

Thanks.

1. I wouldn't blame the war on drugs, and I don't think tactics are more aggressive now than they were in the past. However, these days everything is caught on camera, and certain things (usually negative for LE) go viral. On top of that, there's little to no communication between the community and LE.
2. I think most cops know that they stand a chance to lose everything if they fuck up. I certainly never thought otherwise, or believed that I would be protected in any way just because I was a cop. But I can't speak for everyone.
3. You'd have to give me a more solid example of what you're talking about. That's a pretty vague question.
4. I certainly hope so, but as I've said before, that would require the two sides (I hate even saying "sides") coming together with open minds, talking, and LISTENING. Otherwise the problem will continue to get worse.

1. I'm not sure if I agree. SWAT teams have become ubiquitous, and no-knock raids (mostly for drug raids) have become much more prolific. Now, no-knock raids have always been a tool in the police tool belt, but to this extent all over the U.S.? It's a direct result of the war on drugs.

2. I can't find links now (at work), but hopefully you'll still be around later. I remember seeing a few videos on these problems.

Thanks

1. It's tough to argue either way without actual statistics. As I've said before, media coverage drastically changed how certain aspects in LE are perceived. While there probably aren't WAY more fatal police shootings today as compared to 5 years ago, anyone watching the news would most definitely think there are.

2. I have a meeting in a few hours, but I'll be back later.

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No-knock_warrant http://www.cato.org/raidmap http://jonathanturley.org/2014/06/26/aclu-62-percent-of-swat-team-raids-were-searches-for-drugs/

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMVIdA3UEcU (I wish I could find better videos, but that's the only one I could think of.)

Thanks.

1. As a psychology major, who has done my own studies, the "studies" you linked are incredibly flawed, and basically result in the conclusions that fit specific agendas. Seriously? Your sample size on a "study" is 20 agencies?!? And when comparing the increase in no-knock warrants, you're using numbers from 1981 to 2005?!? I'm completely open minded to these questions, but you have to give me something better than that.
2. If you've seen my previous answers you'll know I have a serious issue with the way media covers law enforcement in general. I've seen a similar report done by John Oliver, and yes, it looks shady as fuck, and doesn't make any goddamn sense. But I've never dealt with anything like that, or asset forfeitures, so I can't really speak on it. Just be wary of believing everything you see on TV, one news report from Tennessee DEFINITELY does not mean there's a national problem.

1.) It's all I could find on short notice. Now that I've graduated college, I don't have access to academic journals and research. I'd love to have better sources, but I'm not sure if those records are kept.

2.) I think it'd be a better question if I could dig up more videos and stories about policing for revenue generation, but I'm headed to bed soon.

Thanks.

All good man! Like I said, I'm open minded, but I will call BS when I see it. I honestly appreciate your questions/input. Take care.

Just to clarify, I was critiquing the studies, not you personally. I just wanted to point out the flaws in the information you linked. Thanks again.

• Now that you are retired are you more open to treating your PTSD with psychedelics?
  There is a lot of new exciting research coming out now. And here

• What do you feel about cannabis use in Law Enforcement? Do you advocate for officers having prescriptions while employed?

1. I'm a pretty open-minded person, but my gut reaction answer would be "no". I'll take a look at the link though.

2. I think the criminalization of cannabis in general is absurd. It's been awhile since I read my departments drug policy, but as I remember it, as long as you had a prescription for the drug, and it didn't affect you while on-duty, you were in the clear. There was no specific prohibition against marijuana. That being said, I know of at least one cop that would occasionally (rarely) partake in some weed while on vacation. I wouldn't say I "advocate" for it, but I certainly wouldn't argue against it.

Thank you! Of your former colleagues, how many would you estimate were on some sort of prescription pill regimen in order for them to be functional in the workplace.

It's really hard to say, specifically about prescription pills, having never seen it with my own eyes. My guess is it's not too common because they are relatively hard to come by. However, self-medication in general, especially alcohol, is far too common in LE.

Have you seen the HBO show The Wire? If so, how accurate was the writer at attempting to mimic a culture that many of us have no idea what it's like. If not, I would highly recommend watching that, as well as True Detective. Again, thank you so much for your service and for coming out. My hope is that other officers won't be as afraid to speak out like you did. It takes great courage and you mentioned in an earlier answer that the culture is perpetuated so we don't open up and talk about feelings. I firmly believe that vulnerability actually makes you stronger. It's so hard for men and women in high stress high authority positions to realize this. Thank you thank you!

I've seem the entire series of The Wire 3 or 4 times now. I've never worked in Baltimore, but I've talked to a bunch of people who have lived there, and lived many of the topics the show addresses. Every single person I've talked to basically said the show was spot on.

Thank you very much for your kind words. In a way, this is therapeutic for me. As hard as it is to talk about at times, knowing I may have reached/helped one person who is struggling, LE or otherwise, definitely helps me keep talking about it. I want to start speaking for academy classes to share my story before they start the job, to hopefully plant that seed of "Hey, this is a real problem, and it can happen to anyone. Don't make the same mistakes I did"

What is your take on the "Racist Acts" from Police Officers? For example the one in Baltimore these are getting a lot of national attention and I would really like to hear the take from a Former Officer.

Very vague question. But race will probably always be an issue. I've had plenty of people tell me I stopped them based on race, even though that couldn't have been further from the truth. In fact, sometimes I would almost go in the opposite direction (as far as glances, decision to stop, etc) simply because that tends to be the stereotype about police.

How would you feel about the police force being subject to the UCMJ?

Considering how recently there's been news reports and criticism of law enforcement for increased "militarization", I'd say that's ridiculous.

So how would you feel about the "de-miitariztion" of the police forces?

You'd have to be more specific. I'd have to know what you see as the militarization of law enforcement.

I was going to write it out but the wiki explains it better.

So basically what I mean is; since it is happening, do you think they should be regulated like a branch of the armed forces. If police are given the same training and weaponry as the military, should they be susceptible to the same punishments?

I guess I don't really see the point. Again, there is a system in place that probably won't change that dramatically. I would also point out that when a police officer is convicted of a crime, going to a jail/prison with people they have locked up/absolutely hate cops, is a pretty shitty situation for them.

There have been many instances where police have not been convicted, or have been simply reprimanded for things that pretty much no other person would escape jail time for. There are also many accusations of internal investigations having resulted in officers not being indicted even with sufficient evidence. If they were under the same rules as the military this would not happen as often, as their rules are much stricter. Also, there is a different prison system for military prisoners.

I understand what you're trying to say, but your whole comment is extremely vague. Ultimately, you're talking about changing an entire system to be more like the military, and my point is that it's never going to happen. I'm not saying the current system is perfect, but it works just about as well as the court system as a whole in this country.

Probably late, but what's the difference between a cop/police officer and a sheriff?

Already asked and answered, but Police Departments work individual cities, whereas Sheriff's Departments work counties (with some exception). Search around for a longer explanation, it was the top question for awhile.

Oh, so PD works for smaller cities but SD works for larger counties?

Basically. Sometimes cities "contract" with the local Sheriff's Department for their services, as is the case with the City of Compton, who used to have their own PD, but they dissolved it for numerous reasons and now it's LE services are provided by LASD.

What is your opinion on recreational marijuana?

I never cared about MJ, and never messed with anyone who had an amount even close to being considered "personal use". It was more trouble than it was worth to deal with (as far as paperwork, etc.) for something that was a misdemeanor, but eventually became an infraction. Decriminalize that shit and stop wasting LE time!

What is PTSD like? Also what did you find to be the most helpful in coping with it?

As much as I want to answer your question, I think I've explained it pretty well in previous answers. If you read through my answers to other questions about PTSD, and still have questions, let me know!

Hiya. Kind of off topic but i was wondering if you have ever seen a movie called Hot Fuzz. It's a comedy staring Nick Frost and Simon Pegg about the British police. If you have seen it, what do you think?

I have seen it. In fact, I think I have the DVD somewhere. I liked it, it's funny, as it was intended to be.

One of my mothers friends ,that she had known since her school days, was a Policeofficer here in the UK. Hot Fuzz was one of her favorite movies. Unfortunately she passed away a few years ago due to ovarian cancer. I the reason i asked was that seeing your post reminded me of her

Damn. I'm very sorry to hear that. I'm sure she enjoyed it much more having been a Police Officer over there.

As I answered in another question, End of Watch is my favorite cop movie. It makes me cry like a baby, but I've still watched it more than 10 times.

As a dispatcher for a Very Large Sheriff's Dept(c), I would like to say thank you for all that you do.

I guess my question is about the medical retirement. Is there a point where your agency basically just goes "we screwed you up too much, sorry bout that" and retires you? Or is it more voluntary and knowing "hey I gotta get out of here".

Thank you very much. And thank you for what you do as well. I know how hard that job can be. I've done training about my OIS for a few of our new dispatchers.

As far as medical retirement, for physical injuries, it goes both ways. My partner who was shot was basically forced into medical retirement by the department. Medical retirements for psych are pretty rare for sworn personnel. Most cops who have psych injuries just "stick it out" like I was doing, until they end up eating their own gun... it's an all too common story. In fact my QME (Qualified Medical Examiner) said I was her first case that was only psych, most cases begin with a physical injury and have an additional psych injury as a result. So I guess to directly answer your question, I initiated the workers comp claim once I had reached the point where I had admitted and accepted that there was a serious problem. But yeah, eventually after all of the evaluations and depositions, the department realized "Yeah you're screwed up because of the job, sorry bout that", but I got the feeling they were reluctant to do so. I can't imagine a case where a department would initiate a psych retirement; if there was a big enough reason for them to do that, they would just fire the person instead. Actually, the only other psych medical claim I can think of at my department was a dispatcher.

I didn't get any sleep last night, and I can't concentrate enough to proof read, but I hope that answered your question!

Truth be told- do perps still get pulled over to a dark alleay and get "tuned up" every once and a while?

Also, the advice that is given to people is to "NEVER TALK TO THE COPS" when they are under arrest...how true is this?

Definitely not around here. There are way too many cameras these days to get away with the shit cops did 20-30 years ago.

And my second video might answer your second question. https://youtu.be/ll7BCvq3FZw

understood and I will view that video...I also had a feeling someone else may have asked that "don't talk to the cops" question already

my follow up is that you said "not around here" in regards to "tuning up"......do you get a feeling that "tuning up" still happened (notice I used past tense) not too long ago in other areas?

I want to say no, not within the last 5-10 years, simply because of how many people have cell phone cameras and how many surveillance cameras are in public, but I'm sure somewhere theres been the 20-25 year cops who just can't let that part of their career go.

understood..thank you for your honesty

No problem! That's why I'm here.

Have you ever considered professional MDMA therapy? It's the only thing I have heard commented to legitimately cure PTSD. It helps open you up to your thoughts and will allow you to view things from an outside perspective, and it also physically wires your brain into being happier upon recalling the events that caused you pain due to how it is believed our memories work.

Since you're in California, I'm sure there are studies you could easily look into especially for being a former police officer. You said you've tried medical cannabis, but as a user of both drugs (albeit recreationally) I know that years of cannabis use doesn't come even close to the benefits of one proper MDMA experience. If you are interested I know a good podcast from a person who has gone through this, but I'll have to get it later since I'm on my phone now.

Someone mentioned psychedelics a little bit ago. I have a BA is psychology so I've always loved learning about that shit. As far as actually doing it myself, that's hard to say for sure, especially not having looked into it at all. But you described it extremely well, so now I'm intrigued. Thanks for your comment!

Just so you're aware, mdma is not really anything like a psychedelic. Especially used in a professional setting. Honestly if you want a potential to be cured you owe it to yourself to at least investigate this medication more. It's very powerful, and like I said it has helped cure people before. They go on and speak about it because it's the only thing that worked.

I will definitely look into it. Thanks.

I know this is a dumb question but are there ever any cases or arrests over copyright infringement?

I believe that's handled by attorneys and the courts, maybe the FBI, but it's nothing that I ever dealt with.

Have you ever had to arrest anyone famous and what happened?

I have not personally arrested anyone famous. But I've seen plenty of famous faces in our booking photos.

Which was harder: dealing with the rise of terrorism or the rise of hyperpolitical correctness?

The latter, no doubt. With the exception of a couple of incidents around here that could have been seen as domestic terrorism, it's not something I ever really had to deal with. But dammit if you didn't have to watch every little thing you said and did, even while off-duty.

What is your opinion on civilian gun ownership? I've heard alot of stories how (for instance, on the 4th of July) regular people are shot due to misuse of the firearm or pure stupidity.

I answered this previously, but I don't have an issue with responsible, legal, gun ownership. Even people who buy guns legally are bound to act irresponsibly on occasion. But bad guys/assholes will always be able to get guns, and they will more often than not use them irresponsibly. To me the whole gun issue is just a way for politicians to get their names out there whenever a shooting is the big event in news.

Why are cops, generally such pussies? Any time they get a little frightened, they pull out their weapon and start firing off. A lot of the time there's no real danger, but American police seem to be shit scared of unarmed men. Why is that?

I like "The Wire" reference...

I wouldn't call them "pussies" so much as "untrained". I had a handful of chances to shoot someone and be completely justified, but the only time I did, he fired first. I obviously can't speak for all cops, but poor training is an issue in plenty of areas in this country.

I'm confused, how your partner getting shot, and recovering, invoked PTSD within yourself. I'm a police officer myself, and have lost a partner, and 3 other members in my department but hardly can understand how that is an excuse to claim PTSD.

Are you just weak minded, or milking the system that promotes and encourages others to think minor incidents are forever life changing?

This guy is full of shit.

Good question!

If you are actually a police officer, I'm sorry to hear about your partner. I've actually been verified by Reddit, so I hardly feel the need to respond to that question as if you actually are. But based on the question, it sounds like a typical "don't say shit you pussy" cop attitude that most police officers take as far as mental health is concerned.