I like your chocolate chip waffles. I know they're not "yours" but you know what I mean.

Have you ever tried acid?

Never tried acid.

They are my chocolate chip waffles, don't let them lie to you.

I'm really bummed that there are no Houses of Waffle in California. All we have is Dennys and IHOP and that shit blows.

Yeah, they'll probably get there eventually.

New stores are opened constantly.

If you decide to try acid you won't want chocolate chip waffles

I probably won't try acid, then.

Chocolate chip waffles are my anti-drug

Lmao.

One time I was in a Waffle House and I watched a woman do a line of cocaine right on her table, she sat there for a moment, and then vomited all over the place, all while laughing in between jets of vomit.

My wife was with me and still refuses to go to any Waffle House. But I love Waffle House and couldn't care less about the stupid coke-head-vomit-queen. How can I talk my wife into changing her stance on Waffle House?

What the Fuck. That's crazy. Just tell her it's super rare and doesn't happen often at all.

It was in Gainesville, FL. I tried to tell her it's just Florida.

When you're in Florida, it's pretty much always just Florida.

Florida is crazy.

Was eating at one in Tampa years ago and a couple of dudes came in and shot a couple rounds into the ceiling , demanded money, robbed the staff and the people at the counter then started to head out and one or the old dudes at the counter pulled his gun and shot BOTH of them, I was at the under the booth closest to the door, robbers died right there ., staring right at me Can still see the holes in the wall and ceiling today Scattered, covered, diced and chunked yo

Fucking awesome.

You watch your fucking mouth. I'll sic my pet gators on you.

#flogrown

Hence why Florida is crazy.

I once played the monster mash a shit load of times in a row on the jukebox at a waffle house. Do you hate me?

Yes.

I'm sorry. Also the two egg breakfast is a decent bit of food for like 2 bucks.

Yeah, it's not that bad.

Why are you not making delicious waffles in Michigan? We love waffles in Michigan...but we must travel into Ohio to enjoy Waffle House. We do not love the Ohio. This is problem. Why you not waffle Michigan? We are nice.

I don't have control over where stores are built. I am so sorry.

Write a letter to corporate.

You are doing an excellent job replying to questions. Fist-Bump, Much Respect.

It's a challenge, but im down for it.

My brother and I hit every waffle house from Nashville to San Diego on a road trip a few years back. Had one waitress somewhere near Oklahoma city tell us not to look one guy in the eye because he was going to be arrested by the sheriff's outside for murder once he finished his meal.

Has anyone ever told you they were a convict/been arrested at your store?

We've had people be arrested, yeah. I had a coworker that got arrested once.

Crazy, what was your coworker arrested for? And waffle house staff are awesome, never had bad customer service

Meth.

He says casually

Lmao.

I have heard that Waffle House line cooks use a highly precise method of placing various condiments and items on plates to communicate silently with other cooks about EXACTLY what goes onto that particular plate. Is this true and if so, can you explain it to us?

Yeah. It's the marking system. It's hard to explain, but based on what the condiment is, and where it is on the plate, it translates in our head as a certain thing.

Can you give some specific examples and their meanings?

Like jelly packets indicate cooking eggs, and dependent on where it is decides what type of eggs.

That's a pretty bad ass method! I'm impressed!

It takes some getting used to.

It's my understanding that 80% of people who eat at WH are either drunk or hungover.. Which one would you say you get more of?

The drunks. Definitely the drunks.

Hey buddy. Your the bestorite.

Ilove yuo for superthin stakes that are peppr salted to perfection and coooked a bit. dem shits ar delicus. udaman.

Exactly.

what is your most favorite movie and why is it the dark knight?

I don't have a favourite movie.

Are you British?

I fucking wish.

Your wish has been granted. Sadly, you can now only say "bu'er" instead of "butter."

Well, that's close enough.

From a Georgia town that has multiple Waffle Houses within sight of each other, there is one that just attracts all the crazy. Most notable was when I was there in the middle of a weekday night with a buddy after a long shift, (we were the only 2 customers) and this skinny old black lady in a dirty pink sweatsuit and a newspaper rolled up under her arm comes shuffling in. The guy at the griller glances at her, his eyes go wide, and he just walks over to the phone, calls the police dispatch and quietly tells them there is a crazy lady causing trouble.

Meanwhile, the lady had shuffled over to the left to what used to be the smokers area and starts saying something about Jesus.

The grill guy yells, "Don't you start, you know you can't be in here" and she starts spouting something about the evil inside her and it has to come out.

At this point, the waitress walked to the back out of harm's way. The grill guy turned to us and said, "Hey guys, you should leave. Don't worry about your bill. It's about to get nasty."

I am quite enjoying my patty melt and hashbrowns (scattered, smothered, covered, chunked and diced with a packet of mayonnaise) and large glass of cold milk so I am not exactly keen on leaving. But, she started yelling louder about Jesus and evil and some other religious bullshit, and then more about how the evil has to come out. She then grabs her waistband, pushed her pants down to her knees and proceeds to squat while preaching, "I gotta get this evil out of me!"

Yeah, we got the fuck outside before she got the evil out. The cops were pulling up as we exited and we hung out in the parking lot to watch the show. Fortunately, they got to her before she let loose the shitstorm and were apparently well acquainted with her and ultimately it was over rather quickly.

We went back in and finished our food and they comped our meal so they got a $20 tip. Fun night.

What's the craziest thing you've seen on your shift?

That story is crazy as Fuck.

We had a guy drunk fall and break his back outside.

What item on the menu do you dread to be ordered? Like something that is just too much hassle and when you've got bacon, hash and waffles all going at the same time then this thing comes up. My guess would be the ribeye but idk.

Fucking. Poached. Goddamned. Eggs.

Oh god, I could see those being a bitch. Not much else you have to set a pot of water for.

It's my all time least favourite thing to cook.

I know what I'm ordering 16 of...

Look here, Fucker.

I'm picturing you holding your spatula in a threatening manner. Accurate?

Or a knife.

http://i.imgur.com/ZdFEd69.png

I absolutely love you.

Aww, I always order poached eggs. I didn't know I was a dick customer until this moment.

They're just super annoying to make if it's busy.

Only because they can't make you make hollandaise.

True that.

Scattered, smothered, chopped, or diced?

Edit: and why?

Scattered well. Like, almost burnt.

Edit: I don't like things in my hashbrowns, and crispy is super good.

That is the absolute right answer.

You got that right.

I've never been. Should I go?

Totally! It's definitely an experience.

Then fuck yeah. I will go there. Just for you.

Dude, that's awesome to hear.

I really hope you enjoy it.

I've never been either and this is going to be the catalyst that gets me to finally go! You're officially an inspiration.

Awesome! I'm glad I could do that! Lemme know how it goes.

Are you allowed to experiment at all and try new grill ideas?

Yeah. I do it all the time.

Have you figured out if there's such a thing as "too much bacon"?

There is not.

Why the fuck can't I get waffle batter pancakes?

Because it's Waffle House, not Pancake House.

Seriously, we can get in trouble for making pancakes.

Yeah, you batter not then.

you little shit

I love you, and your puns.

I... I love you too.

Finally, someone loves me.

I meant it too. I really did.

awwwwwwww

I know, right?

Let's have an awesome internet romance.

Corporate is dropping the ball on this. I've had waffle house pancakes and they are the shit.

I agree, it's really silly.

Corporate drops the ball on a lot of things.

When the inevitable ape-pocalypse comes how long could a group of four survive off the food in your store? Assume that said monkey business starts the day you receive a fresh delivery of food.

If we can cook things, then a pretty good while. The commissary stays pretty stocked.

Canadian here, I love waffle house, friendly staff, good cheap food, favourite part of going down south besides warmth. How do I make proper waffle house grits, and any other advice you have on breakfast preparation?

We get our grits in a packaged container, and just throw them and boiling water in a pot. It's a consistency thing when you know they're done, and I can't really describe it.

Aww yeah, you can tell when they're glistening just right, and the speed at which they slide off the spoon. I love my grits with that crispy WH bacon, lots of butter, a touch of syrup, and then I feed it to myself on another serving of bacon. That's how I Waffle House.

Nice! Glad you enjoy it!

howdoyouwafflehouse

With waffles.

How bad does the weather have to get for you to get a day off?

The store would literally have to be destroyed.

There was a really major flood last year, and we still had to come to work.

The power being out isn't sufficient?!

Nope. We open the doors (so gas doesn't build up) and just chill.

Someone asked as a part of another question, but there wasn't really a clear answer. What is the next step up on career path after Master Grill Op?

I have a weird Waffle House story too. My wife and I used to hit lots of Waffle Houses while driving around Texas. We stopped at one spot in south Austin near the airport and ordered drinks, but the waitress just stood there for almost a minute looking sad. Then she suddenly says, "I'm sorry about your angel," and we're just kinda freaking out, maybe she's on drugs. We just kinda shook our heads. I don't remember how the rest went down, but we found out that we looked VERY similar to a couple who had just lost a newborn in the newspaper due to some weird accident. Anyway, we were totally creeped out and never went back to that spot.

Thanks for being awesome!

That's fucking creepy.

After Master, is Rockstar (fucking awesome names, right) and that's the highest you can go in terms of cooking. You can get into management, but that's just not my thing.

What's your favorite meal at Waffle House?

I typically just eat a Burger, if I'm working.

But if I'm off and happen to stop in, I either get Ribeye and Eggs, or an All-Star. They're both a lot of food, for the best price.

Those are my three favorite orders. Waffle House kicks ass.

That it does, sir.

My sister worked at a WH in Maryland when we were growing up. She was working almost to the point of as late as she could (being 16) and got held up by a guy with a box cutter.

Ever get held up with any sort of weapon? ( I partially just wanted to tell the story)

Nahh. It'd be a bad day for that person though.

So my local Waffle House often employs additional security during the night shifts (college town, things get rowdy) -- Is this something your location also does or is this a particularly rare thing?

It's rare around here, but I've heard of it.

The Waffle House I used to go to all the time started out putting the chocolate chips and walnuts inside my waffle but then stopped suddenly and told me company policy says they couldn't anymore, is this true? I really miss those waffles.

Chocolate chips in waffles can ruin the Waffle iron. Sorry man. The walnuts should be good though.

What does it take to be a Master Grill OP, and what does your career progression look like?

They're currently restructuring Grill Ops pay plans, and everyone is going to have to re-do testing. It's a 3part thing, with having you cook a lot of food, then a written test, and an evaluation by 3 bigger managers.

Edit: Current career progression is, after testing and everything, I can make up to $15 an hour if I get the highest rank.

Not a bad gig. What's your area like (to gauge cost of living compared to that wage)?

Currently I make $8.50 an hour, and I live in a decent 2 bedroom apartment with a roommate, have a car payment, a phone bill, and insurance. It's not the best, but I make due with what I can.

Now, if I was making $15 an hour, I'd be much more capable of taking care of myself.

How many hours do you work a week?

~40. Except for this week, because it's 50. Guy called in tonight, so here I am.

how much is your rent?

I pay $400 a month.

You could do another AMA on how to budget on a minimum wage salary.

It's really simple. Just ho hungry a lot .

Fuck yeah man, my ho eat a lot too. If I'm broke I'm just like, "Sorry, ho, but you gonna be hungry tonight cuz we ain't got no money for groceries."

You Fucker.

Now that Waffle House has capitalized on the "smothered and covered" concept to a ridiculous level, do you hate hashbrowns?

Hashbrowns have never been my favourite to eat.

Also, I always eat them plain.

What is the best experience you can take away from working at Waffle House?

Honestly, it really prepares you for doing things under pressure, and at a fast pace. You have to be able to manage many things at once when it's busy.

I never thought the four months I put into WH would help me any more than just paying for my summer shenanigans, but it got me hired on the spot at my current job. That shit isn't a joke. Whenever my co-workers complain about how busy Sunday rush is I just laugh and remember weekend lunch when the small grill was covered in bacon and the big grill was just a layer of carpet of hash browns.

It's always been said that people look at you differently if you have experience from WH. You know how to handle your shit.

I've never been to a Waffle House, but considering going tomorrow since it's next to the car wash....what should I order?

What type of food do you like, and what time will you be going?

I love French toast and of course bacon. Probably going around 9 am.

We don't have French Toast.

I'd say just check out the menu when you get there. We've got a pretty good selection. The All-Star is generally cost-food efficient.

So I made a point to go to a Waffle House once, after being really excited, only to find that they were... out of waffles. That was a letdown and still haven't had WH waffles. How often do you run out of waffle mix?

Edit for some context: There were 8 of us in a van doing a 24-hour drive from Miami to Detroit. We had seen Waffle Houses studded on the side of the highway all the way up from Florida to the middle of Ohio. We built it up to be a magical place with the best waffles in the world. We made a point to stop at the very last Waffle House on our way north, and this is where we found the waffleless Waffle House. :(

I've only ever seen it happen once.

That was definitely the manager's fault for not anticipating the business. Sucks that that happened though.

Why don't you have cheddar cheese?

I have no idea.

Is there a rivalry between Waffle House and Huddle House? I've always kind of seen the two as the 24hour restaurant version of Ford/Chevy or Coke/Pepsi. If so how heated is the rivalry?

I'm pretty sure Huddle House and Waffle House get along fine. Huddle House is franchised, IIRC.

I want my hashbrowns scattered. Thin and crispy. I ask for scattered but they always do the same fucking thing no matter what. How do I counter this?

Honestly? Keep sending them back until they are the way you want them.

I'm normally too stoned and paranoid to send anything back =(

Don't be. If anyone fucks with your food, you can report them and they get in big trouble.

Why the fuck is there not a Waffle House in Rhode Island?

Or Connecticut? Or Massachusetts? Nothing above Pennsylvania!!

Moved in October. I miss WH.

Corporate just doesn't expand, I dunno why. I think they should be nationwide.

Have you had customers having sex in the restaurant yet?

Luckily, no. We have had some pretty serious touching though.

Shit is weird.

How many fights have you seen? and what was the worst one?

I've not seen any fights, but I've almost been involved in quite a few.

Was it over what you played on the jukebox?

I play the best jukebox music. So, no.

What shift do you work? I know from years of waffle house patronage that first shift is full of cranky old people, second shift is boring as hell, and third shift gets all the fun drunks and crazies.

Also, what secret off menu items do you know about and/or make for customers on an occasion?

I work third shift, am currently at work.

I've made big-ass sandwiches where you take two waffles and put an All-Star in between them. Giant breakfast wraps with so much stuff in them.

I'm a legend around here for making crazy shit.

What's your favorite waffle House themed jukebox song?

None of them. They all fucking suck, and if you play them, I hate you.

"There Are Raisins in My Toast" actually won a legitimate Grammy in 1983.

I hate the Grammys.

Do you like Kid Rock?

Not really.

Bloodhound gang though.

Yeeeeaaah!!! Represent! Chasey lain!

Lmao.

want you smothered want you covered like my waffle house hashbrowns

Ayyyyy.

How do you make your omelets so freaking fluffy???

Practice, and the omelette mixer helps a lot.

What was the most stoner-esque order you've gotten before?

This one guy got a bunch of originals (tiny hamburger patties) and a triple hashbrown with a bunch of shit in it, and put his hashbrowns in his burgers.

triple hashbrown with a bunch of shit in it, and put his hashbrowns in his burgers.

This is so good.

I love the JITB munchie meals.

Man, you go. I can't do that.

What's your favorite book?

God's Debris by Scott Adams.

Where do you plan to go after this job and what are your dreams in life? I'm guessing you don't want to work there forever, right?

I want to eventually go to school for Psychology. Ultimately, I just wanna help people.

Though, if I wanted to, I could retire off of Waffle House. They have a really good stock program.

What is the craziest thing you've seen and/or the drunkest person you've served?

Guy who wanted pork chops for the same price as Bacon. I threatened to put him through a window.

How long is the training to become a cook at WH?

It varies from person to person.

The training is basically you working at the meat grill, and learning by watching. I trained for about 3 weeks, then got thrown on my own shift.

Thanks! I see you guys going a mile-a-minute and figured you either had tons of training or tons of talent. Guess it takes both!

Honestly, it's experience more than anything.

After so long, you just get it down.

Thanks for your question!

My first night in a kitchen (not waffle house), the guy training me threw a container of vinegar on the grill and ran away. Do you know my pain?

No. But im guessing there was a lot of popping?

What's the wackiest late night shenanigans you've seen at la maison du waffle? Also, thanks for your hard work keeping us late nighters fed!

This guy came in only wearing a robe once. Was weird.

I have on a rare occasion had my grill operator serve pancakes. Me and him have quite a history that includes putting out an 18 wheeler tire fire with a pan of water, locking a drunk college student in a bathroom to prevent a stabbing, and playing candy crush together. So two questions. How rarely do you,make pancakes and what's the most ridiculous thing that has happened at your Waho?

I've made pancakes once. The craziest thing is probably when I almost got into a fight with a dude for bringing alcohol in here .

Why isn't chicken and waffles on the menu?

Because we are assholes.