Comments: 559 • Responses: 109  • Date: 

misspelled_name171 karma

What type of car has the stingiest tippers?

XaphoonYouCrazy323 karma

Porsche. I've come to hate the brand because of the owners. Highest tip from any Porsche owner was $2. The rest did not tip.

EDIT: A Porsche driver has given me gold for this statement. NOT ALL OWNERS ARE STINGY. Just most. Thank you kind sir. I will never sigh again as I bring back a Porsche!

gunnk195 karma

Holy hell! I drive a Porsche Boxster S and NEVER tip under a fiver. I bought it used (can't afford new -- I'm just a car enthusiast). That's just so... damn... wrong...

In fact... it's so damn wrong, I give you gold as apology for other Porsche owners giving Porsche owners a bad name.

XaphoonYouCrazy188 karma


CartManJon150 karma

You better NOT scratch it. Otherwise you won't get a tip

XaphoonYouCrazy103 karma


NewKeyboardGuy51 karma


Seriously though this is the first time I've seen it. The karmic gods are pleased with you it seems.

XaphoonYouCrazy23 karma

Whoop whoop

johnjonah48 karma

Can also confirm. Was also a valet in college; somehow Porsche drivers (911, not Boxster) were the worst all around. Not only were they cheap, but they were the most likely to be douchebags and say things like, "You better not scratch my car!" I'd parked Bentleys and Aston Martins, but your 911 is so special?

XaphoonYouCrazy20 karma

Yeah most of them. I really couldn't tell you what it is about.

Techre36 karma


XaphoonYouCrazy80 karma

Hmmm... This is an interesting thought. Cadillac's are hit and miss, Some high some none at all. Acura drivers normally are pretty kind about tipping. Same with Ford.

So Acura and Ford are the ones that I notice the most about tipping.

killbillten137 karma

When I was a valet I'd say Audi drivers were the best tippers

XaphoonYouCrazy51 karma

Really? That's interesting. I really don't drive too many Audis. Then again when I get a 5 or a higher tip I go blind on the car and just become filled with saying thank you's and getting all the doors for them. When you get high tips you notice the type of person, not the car. When you get no tips you notice the car, not the person. At least that's how I am.

killbillten124 karma

Yeah the for me in was guys in their early 30s with the best tips.. Every now and then they'd throw me a 20

XaphoonYouCrazy21 karma

Damn I need some Audi's coming in!

boxsterguy19 karma

As a Porsche owner, I simply refuse to valet my car at all. If I did, I'd tip decently. But I personally don't like the concept of valet parking and will choose not to use it whenever possible. If I know I'm going to a place where it's required, I'll drive my beat up Forester with its tricky transmission instead.

XaphoonYouCrazy12 karma

That's totally understandable then! If you don't like where you won't know where it's going, you could always just ask to keep it close and tip on the way in! Or just not use Valet that works too!

expertprogr4mmer11 karma

this so much. im a valet in nj and im always getting stiffed by porsche drivers

XaphoonYouCrazy9 karma

I really don't know what it is!

smibz81 karma

Has any of your co-workers crashed a really nice car before? What happens after an incident like that?

XaphoonYouCrazy124 karma

I've only been there once for a "wreck". It was a Cadillac Escalade with HUGE rims. One of the guys popped a tire and scrapped the rims on a curb. We do have insurance that covers each valet driver for cases like this. But, since the Driver owned up to the event, and was honest about it, he got to keep his job (he had been a long time employee too.) My manager ended up paying the guy out in cash for his tire and rim. Which the owner agreed too, we could've filed a claim under our insurance but he didn't worry to much. But I know my boss has fired people for scrapping cars, or hitting poles while parking strictly because they lied about the fact that they were the ones who did it.

pedantic_dullard38 karma

Every casino in Missouri is required to be surrounded by water directly from the Missouri or Mississippi River (maybe any Missouri river, not important). This is important, because that means they've got to be close to the river bank.

A valet at a Kansas City casino, fifteen, twenty years ago, parked an older truck and forgot to set the parking brake. The truck rolled over the parking blocks, down the bank, and right into the river.

He got a brand new truck, zero out of pocket expenses.

Another valet, different casino, drove the car into a brick pillar. The casino got the owner a very nice rental, fixed the car, and I think comped him two weeks in a suite and dinners for two for each night - fourteen nights, and dinners for two.

notbobcostas27 karma

Every casino in Missouri is required to be surrounded by water directly from the Missouri or Mississippi River (maybe any Missouri river, not important).


pedantic_dullard46 karma

They started out as river boats that actually left dock and motored up and down the river for two hours at a time. The Corp of Engineers or the USCG, forgot which, shut down the cruise part, and asked the state to landlock the boats in a basin. That led to casinos building giant concrete pools, in which they put barges and built a casino on top. They became known as a boat in a moat.

The original requirement that they be known as boats, however, never went away. They're now giant buildings - restaurants, garages, etc - but the actual gaming floors are above these moats. The casinos have a pumping system that extends into the river and pumps river water into these moats.

Back in the early 2000's, one casinos pump broke. The moat was drying up, so they tossed some fire hoses in and opened the valves. The moat filed, but the gaming regulators caught wind of it and fined the company something like $100,000 for violating the water source requirement.

The religious objectors in Missouri are strong and wealthy. They successfully battled the big casino companies who wanted a casino close to Branson (Christian capitol of the Ozarks) saying it would room the reputation of Branson.

XaphoonYouCrazy15 karma

Wow that is crazy, but very cool and interesting! Thank you for the knowledge my friend!

XaphoonYouCrazy9 karma


t-poke23 karma

All the Helen Lovejoys in the world who want someone to think of the children because if they see a casino it might turn them into degenerate gambling addicts.

The intent is to limit the location of casinos, so they can't be built just anywhere. When casinos were first legalized in Missouri, first they had to be on boats and gambling could only take place when they were sailing - no gambling while docked. Then eventually the casino lobbyists got them to relax the laws so there could be gambling while the boat was docked. Then after that, voters approved a measure to allow gambling on "boats in moats" - gambling in boats that don't move, in moats with water pumped in from the river. However, there's a wide definition of boat here, because some of the newer casinos built under this law - Ameristar in St. Charles and Hollywood Casino and Lumiere Place in St. Louis are really just giant buildings with hotels and restaurants where the actual gambling floor is over water. They look nothing like boats, and you'd have no idea you were over water. In fact, if you look at the aerial view of Lumiere Place you'll notice there's several parking lots, a building, and the riverfront between it and the water. And when you walk into the casino, you have absolutely no idea you're walking onto a "boat". But thanks to the marvels of modern engineering, and loose interpretation of Missouri's gambling laws, the casino part of the complex is over water from the river.

XaphoonYouCrazy3 karma

This is actually cool af. Thank you my man. Always looking to learn!

ThrillingChase9 karma

Riverboat casinos exist in places where you can't gamble on land but you can on water. They used to be actual riverboats where you take a gambling cruise, but now they're essentially just buildings built over water.

XaphoonYouCrazy3 karma

Wow ok that's neat!

XaphoonYouCrazy3 karma

Wow that is kind. And that SUCKS

hateexchange68 karma

As someone from a non tipping country. What do you think is normal in tips. And what would be insulting ?

XaphoonYouCrazy101 karma

Normal tips for a valet driver should be $3-$5. Basically anything above 2 I'm happy. For working at the restaurant, we get paid $0.30 per parked car, and we heavily rely on people's generosity or we won't make any money.

tj229er36 karma

You are only paid per car, or do you have a base rate as well?

XaphoonYouCrazy62 karma

By car parked. No base rate unless it's a private event. So every time I'm at the restaurant, I rely on people's kindness.

burrgerwolf60 karma

Now I feel like an asshole, I normally just give someone a dollar or two...

A few restaurants I go to force you to use valet, just for some them to pull your car into a spot 10 feet away. Then I feel forced to tip the valet, even though I could of just parked my car myself. But I drive a VW, not a S Class. Now I understand a nice event, where you can drop your car off at the door and then not worry about parking it and etc.

XaphoonYouCrazy24 karma

If it is right by the door. Don't feel bad. We have to run a bit of distance to get your car, so dont worry too much!

Skinneyy12 karma

Usually the up front spots we reserve for VIPs and we expect 20 for those spots and we give the client his key back so he doesn't have to wait for us. That's usually for people that are regulars tho

XaphoonYouCrazy5 karma

We do the same, im saying that if there isn't a far run for a normal spot. It's not too bad.

RealValetControl9 karma

I'm confused about how your employer is able to avoid paying you at least the federal minimum tipped wage of $2.13/hour. You and your co-workers might have a case! It's possible you could get a settlement for all of your unpaid hours.

XaphoonYouCrazy7 karma

Nah. I like my boss and we all do really well down there.

sxylump58 karma

where do you work? I live in cincinnati and my mom works at Montgomery Inn downtown, this looks like the uniform there

XaphoonYouCrazy66 karma

Bingo. My friend you have discovered my secret identity.

Pfmvw18 karma

Cincinnatian checking in! Just went to Montgomery inn last week actually.

XaphoonYouCrazy16 karma

Did you valet?!?!??!

Pfmvw14 karma

Of course! I'm a former valet myself, worked at the Marriott Rivercenter in covington for a year.

XaphoonYouCrazy14 karma

Oh sweet no way! Might of seen you then last weekend. Hopefully we did a good job right??

Pfmvw17 karma

Yeah you guys were great! Super fast and everyone was in a great mood.

XaphoonYouCrazy15 karma

Thanks glad to hear that!

cscamp0750 karma

What's the nicest car you've ever driven?

Favorite car?

Best tip?

Worst customer experience?

XaphoonYouCrazy136 karma

Nicest: Nissan GTR Favorite: Lexus LFA Best tip: $80 (Made a delivery for the restaurant) Worst Experience: A guy tried to claim that we hit his car while parking it. I was the one who brought it back to him, I didn't park it. He decided to get into my face about it, scream, and yell in front of other customers. It made me and the rest of the company look bad. Eventually the guy who parked it came over and said yeah your car was like this when it came in. I assume it was because he gave up and left.


Jaguarenvy65 karma


XaphoonYouCrazy41 karma

I haven't driven it! So I can't say it's the nicest car I've driven.

IG98911 karma

I think he was saying what's your favorite car you've driven or maybe I'm the one confused haha. Either way, what's your favorite car you've actually drove? I assume it's the gtr as well?

XaphoonYouCrazy9 karma

Yes it would be the GTR!

DATBURD2 karma

Favorite =/= nicer

XaphoonYouCrazy4 karma

Exactly, but someone asked whats the nicest car I've driven, and also my favorite car! So two different answers

Twixs23 karma

Nicest car I ever valeted was either some kind of Lambo or Rolls Royce. The rolls was a very large vehicle.

Favorites have to be the BMW M series. I'd always get excited when those rolled up.

Dana White once gave me $100 for opening the door to his limo!

XaphoonYouCrazy25 karma

Yeah I wish. I LOVE THE M SERIES. Just something about them I guess. We've had football players and stuff come through, although I did work with the Secret Service one time, Mitt Romney came down, and I was running the front of the lot letting people in. SS came through showed their badges and said only let x people in here, and x type of people. Lots of politicians and Mitt himself rolled through.

TripleSilk25 karma

Not to be nitpicky, but I don't think the Secret Service would appreciate being referred to as the "SS". Try using "USSS" next time :)

XaphoonYouCrazy45 karma

Sorry USSS please do not come kill me.

OfficerScraps37 karma


XaphoonYouCrazy90 karma

Hmmmm. I'd have to say a Creed hard copy CD. I didn't think those existed. But really I haven't seen to much weird stuff, other than like half eaten food and disgusting shit on the floorboards.

OfficerScraps19 karma


XaphoonYouCrazy30 karma

Actual shit, half eaten food, rotten newspaper, rusty metal, dip spit bottles, used diapers, basically anything that smells terrible.

OfficerScraps15 karma


XaphoonYouCrazy32 karma

Nope. I've parked cars with fresh dog poo and the dog in the back seat. Love the dogs, hate putting up with their shit.

OfficerScraps14 karma


XaphoonYouCrazy11 karma

Yeah, I always leave them a window open though!

nombski19 karma

So just to be clear, you've seen dog shit left in the back of a car with the dog[s], half eaten food, dip spit bottles, used diapers and all kinds of garbage but a Creed CD was the weirdest thing you've found?

Seems legit.

XaphoonYouCrazy10 karma

I did follow the Creed CD with a "But really"!

MyPusyTasteLikePepsi7 karma

i have a picture my friend took to back up your statement OP


XaphoonYouCrazy11 karma

^ THAT IS BAD.......

rustyxj6 karma

As a mechanic I feel your pain, the worst I'd the spitter cup half full of spit... ugggh wintergreen.

XaphoonYouCrazy7 karma

Yeah, plastic cup spitters kill me. They gross me out a lot.

cobracount34 karma

Have you ever stumbled upon a dildo?

XaphoonYouCrazy40 karma

Unfortunately no. I kinda always want to see some weird stuff just to make the day funnier, but nah not yet. I'm sure I will one day though....

Tyrannosaurus_wrx28 karma

You should be a mechanic...you would be blown away at the crazy amount of things we find in cars while working on them. Just last week I had a lady complain that there was a fluid leak from the rear of her car. After looking under the car and seeing everything ok I looked in the hatch and found a bag with a huge dildo, vibrator, condoms, porn magazine, and a big bottle of lube which is what was leaking. We also stumble upon non sexual things too like weapons (knifes guns etc) and drugs, mostly pot. It always amazes me what people leave in their cars when they bring it in to be worked on. Oh and no we don't go snooping around looking for things, just stumble upon them while doing the work needed.

XaphoonYouCrazy14 karma

Yeah exactly. But it's not like i need to get into the glovebox in order to drive your vehicle!

neglectron28 karma

Any tips for parking in tight spaces?

XaphoonYouCrazy40 karma

Take your time. If you feel like you're going to hit the car, you're going to hit it. If you're backing in, all ways stay as close as possible to the spot you're going to back into (If the spot is on the right side, hug the right side). Then when the back end of your car on the right side is aligned with the far line of the spot, spin the wheel to the left, and pull up as far as you can. This will give you plenty of room, and time to adjust while backing into your spot. Take full advantage of both side mirrors these will tell you if you can fit into your spot, and if you're going to scrape on one side.

utspg198019 karma

If backing in, before you do check to see if the spots on each side of the garage line up with each other (many do). If they do, you can use the stripes on the ground in front of your car to help guide you as you back up.

XaphoonYouCrazy13 karma

^ Good tip. Not in a garage, so our spots do not line up! But this does work when I work anywhere that has spots line up.

nessamonster5419 karma

How did you get the gig? Was it something you wanted to do, or just kinda fell into?

XaphoonYouCrazy39 karma

When I was 16, I actually was the kid who sat out in the front of the lot, and told people it was valet only. For $10 an hour it was awesome but hella boring. I came to know and talk to a lot of the guys who worked there and I wanted to be a driver like them. So when I turned 18 (our insurance only covers people of the ages 18+) I put my big boy pants on and started driving.

SpiralingShape45 karma

At first I thought this was a normal parking lot and you were tricking people into paying $10 to drive their cars for them. That would have been awesome!

XaphoonYouCrazy15 karma

LOL I should do that.... But no, Basically I was in charge of traffic flow and ensuring that customer's knew it was valet only to make things a little more smooth on the way in. We have some high schoolers doing what I did now.

dirtymoney14 karma

But you still steal my loose change, dont you!?

XaphoonYouCrazy34 karma


But no I don't take your change. I hate having change in my pockets when I'm running around all night. If you are kind enough to tip, please do it in cash!

balogny16 karma

I almost said "nice try on getting a five dollar tip", then I realized your probably from the USA!

Out smallest bill in Canada is a five.

XaphoonYouCrazy8 karma

Lol yup. USA.

BlackChrys14 karma

What's the nicest car you've driven? An subsequently the nastiest car you've driven?

XaphoonYouCrazy23 karma

Nicest cars: Acura NSX, Nissan GTR-R35 with the aero kit, 2014 Vette Stingray, Porsche 911 turbos (although the 1992 one was my favorite out of them, not a big porsche guy), and a BMW m5. Normally any ferraris, or lamborghini's are picked up by the manager's. I don't mind, I'd rather not have that kind of pressure. Nastiest car I've driven was a ford econoline. The floorboards were rusted out, there was old rotten food all over the floors, and there was dog shit sitting in the back seat... (image: http://www.classic-carauction.com/upload/Auction/49_304_1986_FORD_ECONOLINE%20VAN_1.jpg )

-izac-13 karma

Do you ever move or adjust the seat when the driver is really short or tall? Nothing drives me crazier than someone who moves my seat, then it takes me a while put it back to exactly where it was.

XaphoonYouCrazy17 karma


Little old ladies make have to break my knees in order to fit in their seat, and then stick my head out of the side of the window. I personally do not fuck with anyone's personal settings in their car (Heat, AC, Seat, Radio, etc.) Unless I'm bringing it back, I crank the heat if its cold, I crank the AC if its hot.

-izac-30 karma

Turn on the AC on full blast a hot day?

Not all heros wear capes.

XaphoonYouCrazy10 karma

I do what I can. :P

roadhound1 karma

Kudos to you my friend.

Personally I wouldn't really mind if you'd move the seat as long as you just move it forward or backward and leave the rest of the settings alone, but I'd tell you that when I hand the car over to you.

XaphoonYouCrazy2 karma

Yeah. I mean I get pissed when my brother borrows my car and messes with all of my settings. Even though the seat is a simple fix, it's like, I had it perfect. Now it's not perfect... WTF HAPPENED???

Its funny we had a guy who was about 6'7" and he stuck his head out of the sun roof in an accord or something when he was bringing it back....

_crystalline12 karma

Is your name Mike? You look like a guy I went to highschool with who is named Mike. You're probably not him though.

I work in the downtown area of my city and see a lot of valet guys around. They park cars in garages down the street sometimes that I guess some of the hotels have deals with. They're often running/jogging on their way back to the hotel. Do you know why they would be rushing back all the time? I've always wondered if they're timed or if they get in trouble for taking too long.

XaphoonYouCrazy16 karma

No I'm not Mike! Sorry!

The reason why we run personally. 1. It lets customers know that we are trying to get their cars asap. 2. We 'compete' which means the man with the lowest amount of parks, has to leave. So if you want to stay and make money, you better hustle and park more than the guy next to you. 3.The faster we move, the quicker we can get cars in and out of the lot, we need as much spots as possible, and we need the traffic to keep moving.

_crystalline4 karma

Don't be sorry :)

Thanks, that's really interesting.

XaphoonYouCrazy5 karma

Yeah it's funny a lot of people take the opportunity to yell "RUN FOREST RUN!" every time we go and get a car. I guess people who don't valet really think about why we run!

huggy-bear10 karma

I got you man! It's because lines have a tendency to form when we're not back at our booth or podium and than people get hella shitty that they had to wait a couple of minutes for their car. I one night was left alone to close with about 30 cars left to return for a lot that was around the corner, down the street, and up 4 stories. I get so slammed because 8 of the cars were all together at a party and they all left at the same time and before I got them cleared out another party of people came out. It was a nightmare, I had people screaming at me while sweat was literally pouring off me. People are a bunch of entitled and lazy shits.

XaphoonYouCrazy6 karma

Yeah. I've had to do the same, only with 18 cars, the whole party left at the same time, and it was at someone's house. So I had to run about a fourth of a mile for every car. We had to park them down the street from his driveway. I feel your pain on that. Like they see us bustin our balls and they think "Why isn't my car here yet? What's takin so long? Why is he moving so slow?" 1. I'm running 2. It's only me for 18 cars. 3. You're parked a mile and half, and a short swim across the river to get to your car. Relax people who valet! You'll get your car!

huggy-bear3 karma

Dude that's way worse! Fuck special events man. I did one last night for a major financial company and had to park 27 cars on a 1/8 mile one way road... You get creative in times like those

XaphoonYouCrazy4 karma

Lol, we did an event and ended up going an hour early to block off one whole side of the closest road. It saved our asses quite the haul.

EDIT: a letter

treo700P11 karma

What is considered a good tip to a valet? I've used valet once & I think I tipped $3.00. I prefer to park my car myself, but in the future would like to know I'm not being a cheapskate.

XaphoonYouCrazy18 karma

$3.00 is perfect! I never complain about a $3.00 tip. I DO COMPLAIN WHEN YOU GIVE ME ONE DOLLAR WADDED UP SO I THINK ITS MORE. DONT RUIN MY DREAMS OF 3.

In all honesty. You did good my friend.

blest20610 karma

what cars have you stalled the most?

XaphoonYouCrazy17 karma

I can proudly say I've never stalled a car! Although the ones that most people stall are the newer Camaro's, corvettes, and surprisingly Fiats. Fiats have a really high drop point, and vettes and camaros just have really sensitive clutches.

ashowofhands7 karma

I drove a brand-new 500 Abarth briefly one time and it seriously felt like the clutch was close to the end of its life. You're not kidding even a little bit about the high engagement point.

XaphoonYouCrazy8 karma

I literally have to lift my entire leg in the air like I'm about to kick down somebodies door in every Fiat I drive.

Tyrannosaurus_wrx8 karma

I work at a Dodge dealership and we have a few cars now that are made by Fiat; the Cherokee, Dart, ProMaster vans etc. and the manual darts are exactly the same. No pressure in the pedal, have to let it almost all the way out to engage, feel like they are toasted from day 1. I've driven nothing but manual cars all my life and I hate driving the Darts so much.

XaphoonYouCrazy5 karma

Wow I did not know that! I haven't gotten any of those manuals yet, but I'll be sure to be ready to feel like the clutch is gone!

nolurkeranymore9 karma

Can you drive stick/how often do you have to?

XaphoonYouCrazy16 karma

Yes I can. It is a requirement at our valet place. My personal car is a stick. Although if I park 50 cars in one night, probably only 4-5 of them are going to be stick, maybe even less. They are not that common in my area. Or anywhere I guess lol

nolurkeranymore19 karma

Well, in europe it is the majority... but we rarely have valet parking

XaphoonYouCrazy13 karma

Yeah, one of my buddies in England said that you call Automatics Handicaps? or something of the sort lol

cantthinkofaname5 karma

I think that if you take your drivers test there in an auto, it goes on your licence as auto only. But I dunno, I'm not from there

Poppinfr3sh13 karma

If you take your test over here in an automatic then you are restricted to driving automatic cars until you take your "manual" driving licence.

XaphoonYouCrazy8 karma

Wow that's really cool. Also smart, a few of my friends have tried driving my buddy's 88 civic thats a stick, and I'm terrified of seeing them on the roads!

ccensored9 karma

But if you take your test in a manual, you're allowed in both manual and automatic cars.

XaphoonYouCrazy5 karma

Cool. TIL...

XaphoonYouCrazy5 karma

Really? Can someone confirm this? That's interesting af.

t-poke5 karma

As a manual driver myself, I hate valet parking because I'm worried my car will come back with a toasted clutch from some dumb kid who lied to his boss during the interview when asked if he knew how to drive a manual. Plus, being a WRX, some dumb kid is going to want to have fun with it even if he does know how to drive a manual. Are my fears valid?

XaphoonYouCrazy3 karma

No. At least where we are. We all had to prove we could drive a manual to our boss on his car. And We literally couldn't leave with your car. Its an open lot and you could see us leave with it if anyone did do it.

EDIT: a letter

a_haywood9 karma

A good friend of mine valeted for a few months. He said it wasn't uncommon for him to get in a nice car and find empty beer bottles in the cupholders or the car reek of booze. Has that ever happened to you?

XaphoonYouCrazy11 karma

Yes. Plenty of people will come to the events or resteruants pre-gaming. We are also forced to give them their cars back regardless of what they drink.

azuresoul9 karma

You every come across a car you couldn't figure out how to operate? What kind was it?

XaphoonYouCrazy17 karma

The newer Lincoln MKZ. There is no shift knob, or anything. Park, Reverse, Neutral, and etc. Are all buttons on the dash. Or any Tesla. Those confused the fuck out of me the first time I saw one. A big thing is finding reverse for 6-speed manuals when they don't have the OEM knob. Its a bunch of guess work and if you cant find it, you pull it through to a spot.

azuresoul6 karma

Lol just don't accidently pop the hood while looking for the emergency brake release. I've done that one before.

XaphoonYouCrazy8 karma

I've seen that, we also had a guy drive an Acura MDX, accidentaly pop the trunk, and park it with the trunk open! We thought it was funny, the owner did not. Nothing happened to the car. Just funny.

iammighty9 karma

I had a friend who was a valet say that he hooked up with chicks all the time when he parked their cars. He called them Valet Ho's. Are there really valet groupies?

XaphoonYouCrazy22 karma

xD Valet Ho's! No, we don't have any. Although my girlfriend (not a ho) does bring me food when I'm hungry, so that's nice!

WGeorgeCook9 karma

Is your friend from Vallejo?

XaphoonYouCrazy6 karma

He is and he's got plenty of Valet Ho's

MathochismTangram9 karma

What was the smallest tip you've gotten? (Mine was $0.02.)

XaphoonYouCrazy20 karma

Haha my smallest tip other than no tip was $0.17. It was shortly followed with an overly apologetic thank you, and a handshake "We're normally never like this!" I also had a guy take my number and email so he could send me money... Still haven't gotten a response....

sonic_tower9 karma

Would you use a valet / trust them with your car?

XaphoonYouCrazy10 karma

Yes I would. I've never had any problems within my company of people doing stupid shit with your car. Even if someone in a valet company does something stupid or wrecks your car. They are fully liable for anything that happens to it whilst running.

65_Falcon8 karma

What are your thoughts on a app that lets someone tip you instead of handing you cash?

XaphoonYouCrazy8 karma

That is an interesting topic. But it would be necessary for the clients to have it, and to have individual accounts for each driver!

65_Falcon7 karma

I think it would be pretty easy to associate accounts/drivers and clients. Getting people to download and use the app would be the hurdle. But I could see it helping you guys with tips, but on the flip side taxing of tips would probably suck; since now you have a tool that tracks it.

XaphoonYouCrazy8 karma

Yeah it would suck. Maybe if it was a thing like uber and everyone else had it. That would work!

65_Falcon4 karma

That begs the question, would you rather have zero tip or taxable tips?

XaphoonYouCrazy7 karma

Well I'd rather take some money over no money. But if I got no tips, and an hourly wage.... That would make me think for sure. Probably go hourly wage no tips over no hourly wage taxable tips.

galwegian7 karma

why you turn radio to mexican station?

XaphoonYouCrazy34 karma


thebirds7 karma

How often do you get people accusing you of damaging cars after a day or two of not being at the restaurants?

Do you inspect before you take the car from the valet lane/setup area?

I managed valet for 7 years and got crazy accusations such as theft of $5000 cash out of a sports jacket in his back seat. Cameras everywhere help us in stupid cases like these.

XaphoonYouCrazy6 karma

You know what we haven't had anything like that before. That's just crazy! We normally just have the occasional you scratched my car, or you dinged my car. Nothing like that. We have a sign that says something like with great care that goes into your vehicle, we are not responsible for stolen items or goods.

trichotillomanian6696 karma

What do you really think of the people who roll up in cars with a ton of junk/old mail/fast food cups littering the floor board (and passenger and back seats)?

XaphoonYouCrazy12 karma

Nothing. It really doesn't bother me. Sure at first when I started working I was like "Seriously?" But now I'm not bothered. Like some people have really clean rooms, but really dirty cars, and vice versa. So I tend not to judge about dirty shit laying around in cars! I'm more worried about just parking her safely and correctly.

krikeydile6 karma

So, how much do you make a night?

XaphoonYouCrazy10 karma

Really depends on reservations, and how people tip. Average for about 4 hours of work is around $80 for me, that's cash. But last Friday I worked Lunch and Dinner, made 200+ for only 8 hours of work. Just depends on the night. A lot like servers, it depends on our clients!

Kelter_Skelter5 karma

Are there any "career drivers "? Are there positions to move up to? Do managers make enough to live off of?

XaphoonYouCrazy5 karma

I know for a fact I work with a guy who does park these cars for a living. Yes I could move up tor running the money and strictly handling money and giving out the tickets. Managers make plenty enough to live off of. I'm not quite sure how much, but a few of our managers are doing just fine with valet only. And with moving up the scale, I could get invited to travel across the country to do events. Football games, PGA events, etc.

HashtagZeroFucks5 karma

Did you ever ding anyone's car?

XaphoonYouCrazy6 karma

I have not!

clayHarvest5 karma

What's the strangest thing you have seen in the passenger seat?

XaphoonYouCrazy8 karma

If we are talking strictly in the passenger seat, I would say it was Serena William's half eaten breakfast plate. Still some food on there and a fork. LOL

Panzr5 karma

Do you do anything different for known non-tippers?

XaphoonYouCrazy10 karma

We do have regulars who don't tip. Basically we do everything we would to get their car back just like the others. We have to provide a good experience for everyone, regardless if they tip or not. Just we can complain a little bit more about it when they leave!

Grundeezzy4 karma

Fellow valet here, do you hate the general public as much as I do?

XaphoonYouCrazy4 karma

At times yes. Haha

Rubbinmysloth3 karma

It is true that valet drivers often steal illegal drugs out of gloveboxes and cupholders because they know that the owner can't go to the police?

XaphoonYouCrazy2 karma

This could be true for anyone. If you had weed on you. And I came and stole it, what are you going to say to the cops?

Basically they could if they wanted to, but our company does not. Nor do we go looking for anything in gloveboxes.

chalupa_manbat3 karma

What is your favorite car?

XaphoonYouCrazy6 karma

My favorite car... Well I personally drive a Scion TC (2011). I love that car. But my FAVORITE car has to be the GTR, or the Lexus LFA. A more reasonable car to have as a favorite would be the WRX STI and a 1994 Nissan 300zx twin turbo fairlady ( 300zx: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8b/RedZ32.jpg )

cutestuffexpedition2 karma

How often do valets actually steal from cars at work? You seem to work at nice places so it's probably different than some parking garage in downtown LA but it seems like there's an overall suspicion of valet drivers, which probably isn't completely fair (but better safe than sorry I guess!).

XaphoonYouCrazy4 karma



hpierce3012 karma

which car / suv can the avg guy (or even a cheapskate like me) get that can still impress the valet, or other restaurant patrons? thanks.

XaphoonYouCrazy2 karma

If you're talking about cars that'll impress valet drivers, I guess it'd be ones with nice exteriors. I get impressed by 1994 Jeeps too. Fuckin love jeeps. I love your run of the mill, heavily modified civics too! I guess anything with a good sound system, nice looking exterior, or a clean interior, those would impress me.

blest2061 karma

Do you ever find it snobby that these fucks can't even park their own damn car?

XaphoonYouCrazy6 karma

No, I mean I don't think it is snobby for people to not park their own car. The lot we run is valet only at times so if you don't want valet you have a nice walk in the cold to the restaurant. I've had people come in saying that they'd pay for the valet if they could park it themselves. I understand when people don't want people driving their cars.

MayorofHtown1 karma

Shout out to another valet!! What's your claim policy? (Damaging a customers car) Is it one and done (fired)? Or do you get a couple freebies? I've worked for companies with both policies

XaphoonYouCrazy3 karma

Well Honesty is the best policy at my place. If you're honest and up front about it, you probably won't get fired. But if you lie, or if it's really bad. You're gone. It's hard to say, I've only been there for when a tire got popped and a rim fucked up pretty bad. He kept his job, but I have heard of people loosing their jobs.


proudofya1 karma

Do you switch between transmission modes while the car is still rolling?

XaphoonYouCrazy3 karma

Not sure what you meant there!

coscorrodrift1 karma

What are you studying in college?

XaphoonYouCrazy2 karma

Business Informatics!

Cuddlyaxe1 karma

Do you wear the cool valet hat?

XaphoonYouCrazy2 karma

That would be...?

rikxo0 karma

Question for everybody. As an 18 year old valet driver, I used to take a couple quarters from each car I drove and would end up with $25 extra each night to make up for drunk non-tippers. Does this bother you?

XaphoonYouCrazy1 karma

Not up to me my man.