IamA Valet Driver who doesn't trash your car, AMA!

What type of car has the stingiest tippers?

Porsche. I've come to hate the brand because of the owners. Highest tip from any Porsche owner was $2. The rest did not tip.

EDIT: A Porsche driver has given me gold for this statement. NOT ALL OWNERS ARE STINGY. Just most. Thank you kind sir. I will never sigh again as I bring back a Porsche!

Holy hell! I drive a Porsche Boxster S and NEVER tip under a fiver. I bought it used (can't afford new -- I'm just a car enthusiast). That's just so... damn... wrong...

In fact... it's so damn wrong, I give you gold as apology for other Porsche owners giving Porsche owners a bad name.

SCRATCH THAT. NOT ALL PORSCHE DRIVERS SUCK.

You better NOT scratch it. Otherwise you won't get a tip

LOL.

CONGRATS, YOU DIDN'T GET DOWNVOTED FOR A "LOL" POST.

Seriously though this is the first time I've seen it. The karmic gods are pleased with you it seems.

Whoop whoop

Can also confirm. Was also a valet in college; somehow Porsche drivers (911, not Boxster) were the worst all around. Not only were they cheap, but they were the most likely to be douchebags and say things like, "You better not scratch my car!" I'd parked Bentleys and Aston Martins, but your 911 is so special?

Yeah most of them. I really couldn't tell you what it is about.

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Hmmm... This is an interesting thought. Cadillac's are hit and miss, Some high some none at all. Acura drivers normally are pretty kind about tipping. Same with Ford.

So Acura and Ford are the ones that I notice the most about tipping.

When I was a valet I'd say Audi drivers were the best tippers

Really? That's interesting. I really don't drive too many Audis. Then again when I get a 5 or a higher tip I go blind on the car and just become filled with saying thank you's and getting all the doors for them. When you get high tips you notice the type of person, not the car. When you get no tips you notice the car, not the person. At least that's how I am.

Yeah the for me in was guys in their early 30s with the best tips.. Every now and then they'd throw me a 20

Damn I need some Audi's coming in!

As a Porsche owner, I simply refuse to valet my car at all. If I did, I'd tip decently. But I personally don't like the concept of valet parking and will choose not to use it whenever possible. If I know I'm going to a place where it's required, I'll drive my beat up Forester with its tricky transmission instead.

That's totally understandable then! If you don't like where you won't know where it's going, you could always just ask to keep it close and tip on the way in! Or just not use Valet that works too!

this so much. im a valet in nj and im always getting stiffed by porsche drivers

I really don't know what it is!

Has any of your co-workers crashed a really nice car before? What happens after an incident like that?

I've only been there once for a "wreck". It was a Cadillac Escalade with HUGE rims. One of the guys popped a tire and scrapped the rims on a curb. We do have insurance that covers each valet driver for cases like this. But, since the Driver owned up to the event, and was honest about it, he got to keep his job (he had been a long time employee too.) My manager ended up paying the guy out in cash for his tire and rim. Which the owner agreed too, we could've filed a claim under our insurance but he didn't worry to much. But I know my boss has fired people for scrapping cars, or hitting poles while parking strictly because they lied about the fact that they were the ones who did it.

Every casino in Missouri is required to be surrounded by water directly from the Missouri or Mississippi River (maybe any Missouri river, not important). This is important, because that means they've got to be close to the river bank.

A valet at a Kansas City casino, fifteen, twenty years ago, parked an older truck and forgot to set the parking brake. The truck rolled over the parking blocks, down the bank, and right into the river.

He got a brand new truck, zero out of pocket expenses.

Another valet, different casino, drove the car into a brick pillar. The casino got the owner a very nice rental, fixed the car, and I think comped him two weeks in a suite and dinners for two for each night - fourteen nights, and dinners for two.

Every casino in Missouri is required to be surrounded by water directly from the Missouri or Mississippi River (maybe any Missouri river, not important).

why?

They started out as river boats that actually left dock and motored up and down the river for two hours at a time. The Corp of Engineers or the USCG, forgot which, shut down the cruise part, and asked the state to landlock the boats in a basin. That led to casinos building giant concrete pools, in which they put barges and built a casino on top. They became known as a boat in a moat.

The original requirement that they be known as boats, however, never went away. They're now giant buildings - restaurants, garages, etc - but the actual gaming floors are above these moats. The casinos have a pumping system that extends into the river and pumps river water into these moats.

Back in the early 2000's, one casinos pump broke. The moat was drying up, so they tossed some fire hoses in and opened the valves. The moat filed, but the gaming regulators caught wind of it and fined the company something like $100,000 for violating the water source requirement.

The religious objectors in Missouri are strong and wealthy. They successfully battled the big casino companies who wanted a casino close to Branson (Christian capitol of the Ozarks) saying it would room the reputation of Branson.

Wow that is crazy, but very cool and interesting! Thank you for the knowledge my friend!

SOMEONE TEACH ME.

All the Helen Lovejoys in the world who want someone to think of the children because if they see a casino it might turn them into degenerate gambling addicts.

The intent is to limit the location of casinos, so they can't be built just anywhere. When casinos were first legalized in Missouri, first they had to be on boats and gambling could only take place when they were sailing - no gambling while docked. Then eventually the casino lobbyists got them to relax the laws so there could be gambling while the boat was docked. Then after that, voters approved a measure to allow gambling on "boats in moats" - gambling in boats that don't move, in moats with water pumped in from the river. However, there's a wide definition of boat here, because some of the newer casinos built under this law - Ameristar in St. Charles and Hollywood Casino and Lumiere Place in St. Louis are really just giant buildings with hotels and restaurants where the actual gambling floor is over water. They look nothing like boats, and you'd have no idea you were over water. In fact, if you look at the aerial view of Lumiere Place you'll notice there's several parking lots, a building, and the riverfront between it and the water. And when you walk into the casino, you have absolutely no idea you're walking onto a "boat". But thanks to the marvels of modern engineering, and loose interpretation of Missouri's gambling laws, the casino part of the complex is over water from the river.

This is actually cool af. Thank you my man. Always looking to learn!

Riverboat casinos exist in places where you can't gamble on land but you can on water. They used to be actual riverboats where you take a gambling cruise, but now they're essentially just buildings built over water.

Wow ok that's neat!

Wow that is kind. And that SUCKS

As someone from a non tipping country. What do you think is normal in tips. And what would be insulting ?

Normal tips for a valet driver should be $3-$5. Basically anything above 2 I'm happy. For working at the restaurant, we get paid $0.30 per parked car, and we heavily rely on people's generosity or we won't make any money.

You are only paid per car, or do you have a base rate as well?

By car parked. No base rate unless it's a private event. So every time I'm at the restaurant, I rely on people's kindness.

Now I feel like an asshole, I normally just give someone a dollar or two...

A few restaurants I go to force you to use valet, just for some them to pull your car into a spot 10 feet away. Then I feel forced to tip the valet, even though I could of just parked my car myself. But I drive a VW, not a S Class. Now I understand a nice event, where you can drop your car off at the door and then not worry about parking it and etc.

If it is right by the door. Don't feel bad. We have to run a bit of distance to get your car, so dont worry too much!

Usually the up front spots we reserve for VIPs and we expect 20 for those spots and we give the client his key back so he doesn't have to wait for us. That's usually for people that are regulars tho

We do the same, im saying that if there isn't a far run for a normal spot. It's not too bad.

I'm confused about how your employer is able to avoid paying you at least the federal minimum tipped wage of $2.13/hour. You and your co-workers might have a case! It's possible you could get a settlement for all of your unpaid hours.

Nah. I like my boss and we all do really well down there.

where do you work? I live in cincinnati and my mom works at Montgomery Inn downtown, this looks like the uniform there

Bingo. My friend you have discovered my secret identity.

Cincinnatian checking in! Just went to Montgomery inn last week actually.

Did you valet?!?!??!

Of course! I'm a former valet myself, worked at the Marriott Rivercenter in covington for a year.

Oh sweet no way! Might of seen you then last weekend. Hopefully we did a good job right??

Yeah you guys were great! Super fast and everyone was in a great mood.

Thanks glad to hear that!

What's the nicest car you've ever driven?

Favorite car?

Best tip?

Worst customer experience?

Nicest: Nissan GTR Favorite: Lexus LFA Best tip: $80 (Made a delivery for the restaurant) Worst Experience: A guy tried to claim that we hit his car while parking it. I was the one who brought it back to him, I didn't park it. He decided to get into my face about it, scream, and yell in front of other customers. It made me and the rest of the company look bad. Eventually the guy who parked it came over and said yeah your car was like this when it came in. I assume it was because he gave up and left.

OR JUST WHEN PEOPLE DON'T TIP AND THEY WANT TO GIVE ME A FIRM HANDSHAKE INSTEAD. THANKS MAN I CAN TAKE THIS HANDSHAKE STRAIGHT TO THE BANK!

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I haven't driven it! So I can't say it's the nicest car I've driven.

I think he was saying what's your favorite car you've driven or maybe I'm the one confused haha. Either way, what's your favorite car you've actually drove? I assume it's the gtr as well?

Yes it would be the GTR!

Favorite =/= nicer

Exactly, but someone asked whats the nicest car I've driven, and also my favorite car! So two different answers

Nicest car I ever valeted was either some kind of Lambo or Rolls Royce. The rolls was a very large vehicle.

Favorites have to be the BMW M series. I'd always get excited when those rolled up.

Dana White once gave me $100 for opening the door to his limo!

Yeah I wish. I LOVE THE M SERIES. Just something about them I guess. We've had football players and stuff come through, although I did work with the Secret Service one time, Mitt Romney came down, and I was running the front of the lot letting people in. SS came through showed their badges and said only let x people in here, and x type of people. Lots of politicians and Mitt himself rolled through.

Not to be nitpicky, but I don't think the Secret Service would appreciate being referred to as the "SS". Try using "USSS" next time :)

Sorry USSS please do not come kill me.

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Hmmmm. I'd have to say a Creed hard copy CD. I didn't think those existed. But really I haven't seen to much weird stuff, other than like half eaten food and disgusting shit on the floorboards.

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Actual shit, half eaten food, rotten newspaper, rusty metal, dip spit bottles, used diapers, basically anything that smells terrible.

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Nope. I've parked cars with fresh dog poo and the dog in the back seat. Love the dogs, hate putting up with their shit.

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Yeah, I always leave them a window open though!

So just to be clear, you've seen dog shit left in the back of a car with the dog[s], half eaten food, dip spit bottles, used diapers and all kinds of garbage but a Creed CD was the weirdest thing you've found?

Seems legit.

I did follow the Creed CD with a "But really"!

i have a picture my friend took to back up your statement OP

http://imgur.com/YezACb0

^{^} THAT IS BAD.......

As a mechanic I feel your pain, the worst I'd the spitter cup half full of spit... ugggh wintergreen.

Yeah, plastic cup spitters kill me. They gross me out a lot.

Have you ever stumbled upon a dildo?

Unfortunately no. I kinda always want to see some weird stuff just to make the day funnier, but nah not yet. I'm sure I will one day though....

You should be a mechanic...you would be blown away at the crazy amount of things we find in cars while working on them. Just last week I had a lady complain that there was a fluid leak from the rear of her car. After looking under the car and seeing everything ok I looked in the hatch and found a bag with a huge dildo, vibrator, condoms, porn magazine, and a big bottle of lube which is what was leaking. We also stumble upon non sexual things too like weapons (knifes guns etc) and drugs, mostly pot. It always amazes me what people leave in their cars when they bring it in to be worked on. Oh and no we don't go snooping around looking for things, just stumble upon them while doing the work needed.

Yeah exactly. But it's not like i need to get into the glovebox in order to drive your vehicle!

Any tips for parking in tight spaces?

Take your time. If you feel like you're going to hit the car, you're going to hit it. If you're backing in, all ways stay as close as possible to the spot you're going to back into (If the spot is on the right side, hug the right side). Then when the back end of your car on the right side is aligned with the far line of the spot, spin the wheel to the left, and pull up as far as you can. This will give you plenty of room, and time to adjust while backing into your spot. Take full advantage of both side mirrors these will tell you if you can fit into your spot, and if you're going to scrape on one side.

If backing in, before you do check to see if the spots on each side of the garage line up with each other (many do). If they do, you can use the stripes on the ground in front of your car to help guide you as you back up.

^ Good tip. Not in a garage, so our spots do not line up! But this does work when I work anywhere that has spots line up.

How did you get the gig? Was it something you wanted to do, or just kinda fell into?

When I was 16, I actually was the kid who sat out in the front of the lot, and told people it was valet only. For $10 an hour it was awesome but hella boring. I came to know and talk to a lot of the guys who worked there and I wanted to be a driver like them. So when I turned 18 (our insurance only covers people of the ages 18+) I put my big boy pants on and started driving.

At first I thought this was a normal parking lot and you were tricking people into paying $10 to drive their cars for them. That would have been awesome!

LOL I should do that.... But no, Basically I was in charge of traffic flow and ensuring that customer's knew it was valet only to make things a little more smooth on the way in. We have some high schoolers doing what I did now.

But you still steal my loose change, dont you!?

DAMMIT HOW DID YOU KNOW I NEEDED THAT $0.47???

But no I don't take your change. I hate having change in my pockets when I'm running around all night. If you are kind enough to tip, please do it in cash!

I almost said "nice try on getting a five dollar tip", then I realized your probably from the USA!

Out smallest bill in Canada is a five.

Lol yup. USA.

What's the nicest car you've driven? An subsequently the nastiest car you've driven?

Nicest cars: Acura NSX, Nissan GTR-R35 with the aero kit, 2014 Vette Stingray, Porsche 911 turbos (although the 1992 one was my favorite out of them, not a big porsche guy), and a BMW m5. Normally any ferraris, or lamborghini's are picked up by the manager's. I don't mind, I'd rather not have that kind of pressure. Nastiest car I've driven was a ford econoline. The floorboards were rusted out, there was old rotten food all over the floors, and there was dog shit sitting in the back seat... (image: http://www.classic-carauction.com/upload/Auction/49_304_1986_FORD_ECONOLINE%20VAN_1.jpg )

Do you ever move or adjust the seat when the driver is really short or tall? Nothing drives me crazier than someone who moves my seat, then it takes me a while put it back to exactly where it was.

I DO NOT. AND IT SUCKS.

Little old ladies make have to break my knees in order to fit in their seat, and then stick my head out of the side of the window. I personally do not fuck with anyone's personal settings in their car (Heat, AC, Seat, Radio, etc.) Unless I'm bringing it back, I crank the heat if its cold, I crank the AC if its hot.

Turn on the AC on full blast a hot day?

Not all heros wear capes.

I do what I can. :P

Kudos to you my friend.

Personally I wouldn't really mind if you'd move the seat as long as you just move it forward or backward and leave the rest of the settings alone, but I'd tell you that when I hand the car over to you.

Yeah. I mean I get pissed when my brother borrows my car and messes with all of my settings. Even though the seat is a simple fix, it's like, I had it perfect. Now it's not perfect... WTF HAPPENED???

Its funny we had a guy who was about 6'7" and he stuck his head out of the sun roof in an accord or something when he was bringing it back....

Is your name Mike? You look like a guy I went to highschool with who is named Mike. You're probably not him though.

I work in the downtown area of my city and see a lot of valet guys around. They park cars in garages down the street sometimes that I guess some of the hotels have deals with. They're often running/jogging on their way back to the hotel. Do you know why they would be rushing back all the time? I've always wondered if they're timed or if they get in trouble for taking too long.

No I'm not Mike! Sorry!

The reason why we run personally. 1. It lets customers know that we are trying to get their cars asap. 2. We 'compete' which means the man with the lowest amount of parks, has to leave. So if you want to stay and make money, you better hustle and park more than the guy next to you. 3.The faster we move, the quicker we can get cars in and out of the lot, we need as much spots as possible, and we need the traffic to keep moving.

Don't be sorry :)

Thanks, that's really interesting.

Yeah it's funny a lot of people take the opportunity to yell "RUN FOREST RUN!" every time we go and get a car. I guess people who don't valet really think about why we run!

I got you man! It's because lines have a tendency to form when we're not back at our booth or podium and than people get hella shitty that they had to wait a couple of minutes for their car. I one night was left alone to close with about 30 cars left to return for a lot that was around the corner, down the street, and up 4 stories. I get so slammed because 8 of the cars were all together at a party and they all left at the same time and before I got them cleared out another party of people came out. It was a nightmare, I had people screaming at me while sweat was literally pouring off me. People are a bunch of entitled and lazy shits.

Yeah. I've had to do the same, only with 18 cars, the whole party left at the same time, and it was at someone's house. So I had to run about a fourth of a mile for every car. We had to park them down the street from his driveway. I feel your pain on that. Like they see us bustin our balls and they think "Why isn't my car here yet? What's takin so long? Why is he moving so slow?" 1. I'm running 2. It's only me for 18 cars. 3. You're parked a mile and half, and a short swim across the river to get to your car. Relax people who valet! You'll get your car!

Dude that's way worse! Fuck special events man. I did one last night for a major financial company and had to park 27 cars on a 1/8 mile one way road... You get creative in times like those

Lol, we did an event and ended up going an hour early to block off one whole side of the closest road. It saved our asses quite the haul.

EDIT: a letter

What is considered a good tip to a valet? I've used valet once & I think I tipped $3.00. I prefer to park my car myself, but in the future would like to know I'm not being a cheapskate.

$3.00 is perfect! I never complain about a $3.00 tip. I DO COMPLAIN WHEN YOU GIVE ME ONE DOLLAR WADDED UP SO I THINK ITS MORE. DONT RUIN MY DREAMS OF 3.

In all honesty. You did good my friend.

what cars have you stalled the most?

I can proudly say I've never stalled a car! Although the ones that most people stall are the newer Camaro's, corvettes, and surprisingly Fiats. Fiats have a really high drop point, and vettes and camaros just have really sensitive clutches.

I drove a brand-new 500 Abarth briefly one time and it seriously felt like the clutch was close to the end of its life. You're not kidding even a little bit about the high engagement point.

I literally have to lift my entire leg in the air like I'm about to kick down somebodies door in every Fiat I drive.

I work at a Dodge dealership and we have a few cars now that are made by Fiat; the Cherokee, Dart, ProMaster vans etc. and the manual darts are exactly the same. No pressure in the pedal, have to let it almost all the way out to engage, feel like they are toasted from day 1. I've driven nothing but manual cars all my life and I hate driving the Darts so much.

Wow I did not know that! I haven't gotten any of those manuals yet, but I'll be sure to be ready to feel like the clutch is gone!

You every come across a car you couldn't figure out how to operate? What kind was it?

The newer Lincoln MKZ. There is no shift knob, or anything. Park, Reverse, Neutral, and etc. Are all buttons on the dash. Or any Tesla. Those confused the fuck out of me the first time I saw one. A big thing is finding reverse for 6-speed manuals when they don't have the OEM knob. Its a bunch of guess work and if you cant find it, you pull it through to a spot.

Lol just don't accidently pop the hood while looking for the emergency brake release. I've done that one before.

I've seen that, we also had a guy drive an Acura MDX, accidentaly pop the trunk, and park it with the trunk open! We thought it was funny, the owner did not. Nothing happened to the car. Just funny.

Would you use a valet / trust them with your car?

Yes I would. I've never had any problems within my company of people doing stupid shit with your car. Even if someone in a valet company does something stupid or wrecks your car. They are fully liable for anything that happens to it whilst running.

What was the smallest tip you've gotten? (Mine was $0.02.)

Haha my smallest tip other than no tip was $0.17. It was shortly followed with an overly apologetic thank you, and a handshake "We're normally never like this!" I also had a guy take my number and email so he could send me money... Still haven't gotten a response....

A good friend of mine valeted for a few months. He said it wasn't uncommon for him to get in a nice car and find empty beer bottles in the cupholders or the car reek of booze. Has that ever happened to you?

Yes. Plenty of people will come to the events or resteruants pre-gaming. We are also forced to give them their cars back regardless of what they drink.

I had a friend who was a valet say that he hooked up with chicks all the time when he parked their cars. He called them Valet Ho's. Are there really valet groupies?

xD Valet Ho's! No, we don't have any. Although my girlfriend (not a ho) does bring me food when I'm hungry, so that's nice!

Is your friend from Vallejo?

He is and he's got plenty of Valet Ho's

Can you drive stick/how often do you have to?

Yes I can. It is a requirement at our valet place. My personal car is a stick. Although if I park 50 cars in one night, probably only 4-5 of them are going to be stick, maybe even less. They are not that common in my area. Or anywhere I guess lol

Well, in europe it is the majority... but we rarely have valet parking

Yeah, one of my buddies in England said that you call Automatics Handicaps? or something of the sort lol

I think that if you take your drivers test there in an auto, it goes on your licence as auto only. But I dunno, I'm not from there

If you take your test over here in an automatic then you are restricted to driving automatic cars until you take your "manual" driving licence.

Wow that's really cool. Also smart, a few of my friends have tried driving my buddy's 88 civic thats a stick, and I'm terrified of seeing them on the roads!

But if you take your test in a manual, you're allowed in both manual and automatic cars.

Cool. TIL...

Really? Can someone confirm this? That's interesting af.

As a manual driver myself, I hate valet parking because I'm worried my car will come back with a toasted clutch from some dumb kid who lied to his boss during the interview when asked if he knew how to drive a manual. Plus, being a WRX, some dumb kid is going to want to have fun with it even if he does know how to drive a manual. Are my fears valid?

No. At least where we are. We all had to prove we could drive a manual to our boss on his car. And We literally couldn't leave with your car. Its an open lot and you could see us leave with it if anyone did do it.

EDIT: a letter

What are your thoughts on a app that lets someone tip you instead of handing you cash?

That is an interesting topic. But it would be necessary for the clients to have it, and to have individual accounts for each driver!

I think it would be pretty easy to associate accounts/drivers and clients. Getting people to download and use the app would be the hurdle. But I could see it helping you guys with tips, but on the flip side taxing of tips would probably suck; since now you have a tool that tracks it.

Yeah it would suck. Maybe if it was a thing like uber and everyone else had it. That would work!

That begs the question, would you rather have zero tip or taxable tips?

Well I'd rather take some money over no money. But if I got no tips, and an hourly wage.... That would make me think for sure. Probably go hourly wage no tips over no hourly wage taxable tips.

why you turn radio to mexican station?

NO HABLA INGLES SENOR

How often do you get people accusing you of damaging cars after a day or two of not being at the restaurants?

Do you inspect before you take the car from the valet lane/setup area?

I managed valet for 7 years and got crazy accusations such as theft of $5000 cash out of a sports jacket in his back seat. Cameras everywhere help us in stupid cases like these.

You know what we haven't had anything like that before. That's just crazy! We normally just have the occasional you scratched my car, or you dinged my car. Nothing like that. We have a sign that says something like with great care that goes into your vehicle, we are not responsible for stolen items or goods.

So, how much do you make a night?

Really depends on reservations, and how people tip. Average for about 4 hours of work is around $80 for me, that's cash. But last Friday I worked Lunch and Dinner, made 200+ for only 8 hours of work. Just depends on the night. A lot like servers, it depends on our clients!

What do you really think of the people who roll up in cars with a ton of junk/old mail/fast food cups littering the floor board (and passenger and back seats)?

Nothing. It really doesn't bother me. Sure at first when I started working I was like "Seriously?" But now I'm not bothered. Like some people have really clean rooms, but really dirty cars, and vice versa. So I tend not to judge about dirty shit laying around in cars! I'm more worried about just parking her safely and correctly.

What's the strangest thing you have seen in the passenger seat?

If we are talking strictly in the passenger seat, I would say it was Serena William's half eaten breakfast plate. Still some food on there and a fork. LOL

Do you do anything different for known non-tippers?

We do have regulars who don't tip. Basically we do everything we would to get their car back just like the others. We have to provide a good experience for everyone, regardless if they tip or not. Just we can complain a little bit more about it when they leave!

Are there any "career drivers "? Are there positions to move up to? Do managers make enough to live off of?

I know for a fact I work with a guy who does park these cars for a living. Yes I could move up tor running the money and strictly handling money and giving out the tickets. Managers make plenty enough to live off of. I'm not quite sure how much, but a few of our managers are doing just fine with valet only. And with moving up the scale, I could get invited to travel across the country to do events. Football games, PGA events, etc.

Did you ever ding anyone's car?

I have not!

Fellow valet here, do you hate the general public as much as I do?

At times yes. Haha

What is your favorite car?

My favorite car... Well I personally drive a Scion TC (2011). I love that car. But my FAVORITE car has to be the GTR, or the Lexus LFA. A more reasonable car to have as a favorite would be the WRX STI and a 1994 Nissan 300zx twin turbo fairlady ( 300zx: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8b/RedZ32.jpg )

It is true that valet drivers often steal illegal drugs out of gloveboxes and cupholders because they know that the owner can't go to the police?

This could be true for anyone. If you had weed on you. And I came and stole it, what are you going to say to the cops?

Basically they could if they wanted to, but our company does not. Nor do we go looking for anything in gloveboxes.

which car / suv can the avg guy (or even a cheapskate like me) get that can still impress the valet, or other restaurant patrons? thanks.

If you're talking about cars that'll impress valet drivers, I guess it'd be ones with nice exteriors. I get impressed by 1994 Jeeps too. Fuckin love jeeps. I love your run of the mill, heavily modified civics too! I guess anything with a good sound system, nice looking exterior, or a clean interior, those would impress me.

How often do valets actually steal from cars at work? You seem to work at nice places so it's probably different than some parking garage in downtown LA but it seems like there's an overall suspicion of valet drivers, which probably isn't completely fair (but better safe than sorry I guess!).

RIGHT. THERE IS A HUGE THING THAT ALL US VALET DRIVERS DO IS PULL A BUELLER ON YOUR CAR AND STEAL EVERYTHING YOU GOT.

THIS IS NOT THE CASE. A LOT OF US TRULY TAKE PRIDE IN OUR JOB AND DEPEND ON YOU TO HELP US MAKE A LIVING. THEREFORE, PLEASE DO NOT GENERALIZE ALL DRIVERS INTO ONE CATEGORY. SOME OF US DO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU.

Do you wear the cool valet hat?

That would be...?

What are you studying in college?

Business Informatics!

Shout out to another valet!! What's your claim policy? (Damaging a customers car) Is it one and done (fired)? Or do you get a couple freebies? I've worked for companies with both policies

Well Honesty is the best policy at my place. If you're honest and up front about it, you probably won't get fired. But if you lie, or if it's really bad. You're gone. It's hard to say, I've only been there for when a tire got popped and a rim fucked up pretty bad. He kept his job, but I have heard of people loosing their jobs.

SHOUT OUT TO FELLOW VALETS. KEEP DRIVIN DEM CARS BOISSSSSSSS.

Do you ever find it snobby that these fucks can't even park their own damn car?

No, I mean I don't think it is snobby for people to not park their own car. The lot we run is valet only at times so if you don't want valet you have a nice walk in the cold to the restaurant. I've had people come in saying that they'd pay for the valet if they could park it themselves. I understand when people don't want people driving their cars.

Do you switch between transmission modes while the car is still rolling?

Not sure what you meant there!

Question for everybody. As an 18 year old valet driver, I used to take a couple quarters from each car I drove and would end up with $25 extra each night to make up for drunk non-tippers. Does this bother you?

Not up to me my man.