IamA 21 year old male with a hormone disorder that started puberty 1 year ago. AMA!

To be 100% blunt and forward...Did this affect your penis size? Also what has been the weirdest change for you?

My penis used to be about 3 inches and now it's 6 inches. Also my jawline has developed and I don't recognise myself in photos sometimes.

Penis gainzzzz.

yeah bro. I just make sure to jerk 3 sets of 5.

Dude you must be having such an awesome time right now. You just got fifty years added to your life, three more inches to your dick. Getting a chizzled jawline 'n' shit. Happy for you OP.

Thanks man. Things are going quite well for me. My jaw isn't chiseled, it's just a man's jaw now, but I still get compliments anyway.

all about the bone then right? seriously though is it just jaw? what about strength?

all my bones are more dense. I've doubled in strength.

Do you miss your soft hairless ass? Because I sure as hell do.

Yeah, OP. We all miss your soft hairless ass.

It's a mans ass now.

So you really will be masturbating like a 13 year old now! Has your sex drive switched on just now or had it always been there?

I had no sex drive before the testosterone therapy. I started getting truly horny about four or five months ago.

How was it like to live as a 20-year old with no sex drive, while everyone around you talked about sex and so on?

I felt out of place. I wanted sex but only because of the pressure as a guy to get laid. I didn't see myself as a sexual being.

I'll be interest in seeing sexuality budding in someone who is mature enough to know what they're going through. Are you aware of your sexual orientation? And what is it?

I'm gay. I've known I was gay since I was 18 however.

How did you define your sexuality without having a sex drive?

I had crushes on guys in high school. I'm sure if I had puberty earlier I would have recognized it much sooner.

You must be the ultimate twink.

I'm tall, skinny and not as hairy as other dudes, so yeah.

I'm gay.

Call me

I admire your confidence but you haven't really given me any number to call, sorry.

So now that you are on testosterone therapy, have you started feeling besides the crushes on those guys also sex urges on them?

Also, have you ever been atracted to girls in the process?

still gay, I have lots of sex urges. I like the hairy chests and strong thighs.

Do you have frequent mood swings like a teenager?

I'm more aggressive than before starting the steroids before but my mood doesn't swing.

Yet.

You just hit puberty.

I feel like I hit it like about 6 months ago.

its a long process man, if you start hating your parents, talking about how fucked up society is or how special you are then you know you are really deep in it.

I am so that right now.

Do yourself a favor and listen to Linkin Park.

I don't know man, in the end, it doesn't even matter.

For a serious question, have your friends been supportive since they all have very recent experience with puberty and are probably all finished? Or are they making fun of you?

All my friends are very supportive.

I had a female student for the last 7 years that I suspect has been going through something similar to you. She is 18 now and does not wear a bra, has never had her period (over heard her saying this) and is only 4'8". Her younger sister and older brothers tower over her. Her speaking voice is quite child like and she acts very immature. I have considered that she never went through puberty in the past but because she is a girl it is less noticeable. I can't believe that her parents have never taken her to a doctor. Even though she graduated I still see her once a week. Is there anything I can say to her to help? Do you know what the process is like for women? Your story is very inspiring. Thanks for sharing!

If she's an adult I would just ask her. If she does have a disorder then it doesn't matter how embarrassing it is, she should at least be aware.

There anything at all you miss about being pre-pubescent?

Very good question. I had amazing skin for most of high school. Now I have both hormonal and cystic acne.

As a guy who's dealt with a bit of hypogonadism (and a bit of gynecomastia) due to a well-placed benign tumor on my pituitary gland... You have one other thing to look forward to- Looking younger than your actual age for the rest of your life.

How do you feel about that?

Pretty good. I will wear sunscreen and never grow old.

Definitely wear sunscreen. Just has a pre cancerous cell frozen off the tip of my nose yesterday. I look like a leper but hey, no cancer.

I live in Queensland, Australia. Skin cancer is going to get all of us here.

Does this condition have any effects on your potential life expectancy?

If I wasn't diagnosed, my immune system would have continued to weaken and I would have probably would only have lived to 40 at most. With the therapy I should live out to the average life expectancy.

Will you be taking this therapy for the rest of your life?

yep

What would happen if you were to stop taking it after about 10 years or so? Would some of the changes start to revert?

My muscles and bones would become weak.

As a musician, this is really intriguing. The demand for Castrati (male singers who were castrated to halt the onset of puberty so that the voice remained high) was great in the past, but it was outlawed half way through the 19th century. Are you able to sing? Did you ever get training? There are very few (quite bad) recordings of true Castrati from the early 20th century, and you would be the next best thing.

In the last AMAs I got comments and personal messages about this. I'm not able to sing, I was extremely self conscious about my voice. I can still hit some high notes but my voice is blowing out less and less so it's pretty much done.

Because of the therapy, is your voice all clunky like a teenager's or is it pretty much going straight to a twenty year old's?

It broke about 3 months in and has been lowering since then.

How did you see your friends go through puberty and what you thought about it? It must have been awkward seeing all these changes and nothing happening to you.

Most of all, how did your thinking seem to (not) change compared to your friends? Like, you used to play some games together and suddenly none of your friends are interested anymore and you can't understand why.

At first I didn't even realise I wasn't developing because I assumed I was going through puberty since I was getting taller. I didn't have friends in high school. I used to hang out with antisocial people who played video games too much so we just hung around each other.

I find this to be very intriguing. I get the sense that you had a good home life.

How did you find out about your development or lack there of?

I do have a stable home life. I worked out at the gym for a year without seeing any results so I worked up the courage to ask my doctor for a blood test.

You didn't even consider them friends? Ouch.

in retrospect, they weren't nice people.

High school can be tough at the best of times, let alone if you are seen as different by your peers. What effect has your condition had on your school/social life?

All the best mate.

I was very awkward in high school and didn't have any friends. I've improved a lot since then and have way more confidence. I'll always remember my tough times before the testosterone though.

It's good to remember the hard times as they have made you into the person you are today. Glad things have got better for you. Enjoy!

they definitely have gotten a lot better. I'm very content which is weird because all I've got is an adult male body and the exact same problems as everyone else but I'm still proud of who I am.

what was your reaction when you came to the realisation that you had not gone through puberty?

I got very drunk in a bar with some friends.

That seems like an appropriate reaction.

"I haven't gone through puberty yet. Let's go drinking!"

It's my reaction to any news.

well, I suppose that is a cause for celebration! have you ever drunk alcohol before you were on your testosterone therapy? if so, were there any obvious differences between the before and after?

I was such a lightweight. I could get drunk off 3 drinks. It takes a lot more to get me feeling anything these days.

Were you able to ejaculate before the therapy ?

How did your orgasms change ?

I wasn't able to ejaculate before the therapy. I could have multiple orgasms. Now I can only have one and need a break for some orange slices. My orgasms still have the same feeling but I get tired after.

Wait until you have sex (if you haven't yet). If having a wank makes you tired, a root will knock you the fuck out

Sex is very tiring. I just want to cuddle and sleep.

Did you feel any mental changes during your therapy? Did your way of thinking change?

I'm more relaxed and confident. I had a lot of anxiety before the testosterone so much that I was on antidepressants. I've been off antidepressants for 6 months now and feel great.

What is your favourite planet?

Jupiter.

Hey mate, thanks for the AMA.

Do you know what happens if somebody without the condition takes that testosterone stuff you were taking?

I wouldn't mind a lower voice and some mad penis gainz.

You would put on muscle and have more energy. Maybe lower your voice, get acne and go bald. Your penis would not change in size at all. Your testicles would stop working and shrink since you're getting testosterone from another source and you would rely on it.

I don't have a question, but when I was in puberty my sex drive was a monster truck. Don't ever jerk it with shampoo. How do you like to eat your eggs?

fried.

I don't know if this is too blunt or anything, but did you have any pubic hair before your treatment?

my disorder meant that I had no secondary sexual characteristics. I had primary sexual characteristics meaning I had pubic hair.

Did you have any acne before you had treatment?

yeah, after high school. I started taking antibiotics and it cleared up.

Did this disorder cause any other problem?

Are you fertile now?

Without testosterone you can't absorb calcium and vitamin d (I think?). So I had very weak bones before. I'm infertile but I could get injections to become fertile.

How are you coping with the changes mentally and how often are people telling you that there's something different about you?

I'm more confident, mature and masculine. Most people who I havent' seen in a while are astonished at my new voice and face. Someone even said I turned out like Neville Longbottom.

I bet you'll make a hell of a #TransformationTuesday

I was going to post a picture of my face but I decided I could answer awkward questions more easily if I remained anonymous.

Not on here. On Instagram. You're technically a teenager so you should be investing at least 25 hours a day on Instagram Selfies

I don't take too many selfies because of my acne.

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what a beautiful post. I will read it after this AMA since I am answering a lot of questions. thanks :)

How has your confidence level changed? I actually have a hormone disease, where I have too much, I'm female. I'm like absolutely emotional wreck alot of the times. If it helps, you sounded hot before, but definitely more hot now, at least to me.

I hope things get better for you. I was a complete wreck before therapy. I am way more confident in myself these days. I am a bit too cocky sometimes. Some girls say I should model.

How tall are you?

I'm 6'1/186cm.

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My doctor said I should be 6'3

Another blunt question... Are your testicles smaller than average?

they're still the same size from when I was a child. I think my penis looks bigger though by comparison.

I have the same problem basically. Is it just testosterone replacement or have they used anything else?

Just testosterone replacement. First pills, then gel, and now injections.

Gel? How'd that work?

it's an alcoholic based gel that I'd rub into my shoulder muscle.

Are you musically talented at all? Also, what music do you like to listen to? Has it changed from before the therapy?

I was hoping someone would ask me this question. I want to be a music journalist even though I can't play any instrument.

My favourite artists are Have A Nice Life, Sufjan Stevens, Neutral Milk Hotel, Titus Andronicus, Andrew Jackson Jihad, Arcade Fire, Bon Iver and LCD Soundsystem. I listen to a lot of different kinds of music.

Will you need to take testosterone supplements your whole life, or just for a while?

For my whole life. My brain doesn't produce a protein which tells my testicles to work.

Are you able to have children?

I'm infertile right now.

Is that going to change somtime now that you are taking hormone therapy and going through puberty?

I could take injections of gonadotropins but they're painful and an investment.

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I have zero idea. I can't really think the same way I did before the therapy. I've got sexual impulse now.

What is your favorite animal? Why?

The sloth. Because he's stupid and chill.

Yo mang, how was your social life in your late teens? We're people more accepting of your lesser developed self? Or were you without a mate for the first 20 years of your life? I must know!!

I was isolated and alienated at the end of high school and my late teens. People didn't understand me, I didn't even understand myself. I didn't have any friends at all. I made people uncomfortable being an extremely tall 10 year old boy.

Did your personality change after you started treatment?

I'm much more assertive.

You mentioned you were getting taller in high school, have you gotten taller again since starting therapy? Like another growth spurt? Gotten hairy all over? Massive Adam's apple?

My long bones kept growing without puberty. I've got lanky arms and legs now. My friends say I'm all legs. I'm going through my first real growth spurt now. I've grown 3cm in the last year.

Has your body hair just started to grow out?

Yes, my hair is darker and thicker. I'm also growing a snail trail.

When did you realise you hadn't hit puberty?

When I was 20.

Do you have a SO? And if so do you bang like rabbits now?

I have a boyfriend. We have sexy times like twice a day.

What was/is the name of your 'condition'? congenital adrenal hyperplasia? 17-B-hydroxylase deficiency?

hypogonadotropic hypogonadism.

Was your vice high as a teenager?

vidya games.

Why weren't you put on testosterone therapy in your teens? Btw you should workout they're giving you free test! BRO LIFT SOME SHIT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I do work out. I don't life for the size, I lift for the strength.

Do you lift breh?

yerp.

Will you age slower and live longer?

Probably not with the way I live

Any negative side effects you've noticed? gyno, baldness, acne etc?

A tiny bit of gyno

my hairline is the same and I hope it stays like that for a while

I'm getting hormonal acne on my face and back.

Since no one has asked this yet: I think you have the closest picture when it comes to cis people for seeing how it feels when you're ftm trans and start hormone replacement. I've been on the gel for 5 months now on a tiny doze and still gotten a lowered voice, muscles from nowhere, gotten hairy as an ape etc.. also can concur that if i leave out my gel even for a couple of days, I get super depressed and kinda gloomy and feeling like I don't exist. I've always been gay but since starting hormones I became bi, which is weird. Do you feel that your personality has changed a lot? How do you view yourself now compared to before? When you'll start the shots, what brand will it be? (I'm starting with Sustanon soon with 14 day shots and then moving on to Nebido with 3 month shots)

I can understand being trapped in a body that doesn't feel like your own. I feel much more like a man. I used to feel like a boy with every action. I now feel like an adult.

If you were to stop using the testosterone supplements what would happen to your voice? Would it stay the same? Go to a higher pitch? Or change completely?

You probably wouldn't know but I'm just hoping you asked your doctor out of sheer curiousity

stay the same.

I got my pituary tumor removed that caused my prolactin levels to be high and my T levels low 2 weeks ago. My T-levels are still quite low (11 nmo/L), so perhaps I have to go on testosterone replacement aswell! Why do you use pills and not injections? Best of luck buddy!
Edit: I see that you take injections already! Great. Another question: do you have much more energy and do you have less trouble waking up now? (curious, because I have that problem :p)

I had my first injection last week. I was just slowly raising my testosterone levels in case I was sensitive to it.

Do you think the lack of testosterone/hormones contributed to you scientifically being gay?

No. Not at all. I have a friend who has the same disorder as me and he's straight.