I was on Scrubs. I made Garden State. I played a monkey in one Disney Movie and a Chicken in another. I haven't made a movie in 10 years. I finally have. It comes out this weekend. It's called "Wish I Was Here." I sometimes look at /Gonewild Ask me anything...

Comments: 6347 • Responses: 57  • Date: 

otofish3152 karma

What's your favorite place to take Donald Faison out to dinner?

zachinoz4315 karma

My cock.

zachinoz2933 karma

Off topic, and it's Reddit so I'm sure you've all seen it. But this is the funniest thing I've seen today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHiWW-_jRUk

thelostdolphin1187 karma

Does she say, "I want white dick?" This is amazing.

zachinoz1686 karma

She does. And it's glorious. I'm playing this video for everyone that walks into the room while I'm doing this ama.

Maxthesax2256 karma

How is rampart?

zachinoz3146 karma

Finally a question about Rampart!

Anost2176 karma


zachinoz2445 karma

People add me as a moderator to all that shit. I've never clicked on any of it. I have to ask the mods how to turn that off...

what_would_yeezus_do2110 karma

In Garden State, your character says: "It's really amazing how much of my life has been determined by a quarter-inch piece of plastic." What has been the quarter-inch piece of plastic in your life?

zachinoz2888 karma

My parents divorce at a young age. I was shocked by it and it truly caused life-long pain that I'll always deal with.

SolracAzrag1945 karma

What was your favorite thing that Dr. Cox said to you on Scrubs?

zachinoz3993 karma

Either this guy has a lightbulb in his ass or his colon has a really good idea.

PM-ME-UR-BUTT-GIRL1869 karma

Does Donald Faison know you're doing this AMA? If so, how long do you expect it to take for him to show up?

zachinoz3178 karma

He doesn't know how to use Reddit. Too baked.

pandajerk11470 karma

How often do you smoke with him?

zachinoz3664 karma

I don't smoke that much now. Way too overwhelmed with 8 shows a week on Broadway and releasing my film. But I go through waves where I enjoy God's Lettuce quite a bit.

nucleardump1844 karma

I would like to thank you and the wonderful crew of Scrubs for helping me through so much growing up. You guys are the best.

What is your most embarrassing/funny on set experience?

P.S. Do you and Donald cruise around on Sasha and Black Sasha together?

cgbrannigan3002 karma

What is your most embarrassing on set experience?

Season 9....

zachinoz3697 karma

This is fucked up. But funny.

zachinoz1981 karma

Bill secretly put a "TV DOC" license plate on my car. I didn't notice it for a few days. Humiliating.

nucleardump1316 karma

Thanks so much for replying. You are my all time favorite actor/director/writer. I planned this AMA since you announced it. I set four alarms to remind me and typed out my question yesterday, so I could paste it. Keep up all your amazing work. It is inspirational to everyone.

zachinoz1423 karma

Wow. Thank you so much.

InQii1785 karma

Hey Zach! Just a out of context question, what do you think about tattoos and do you ever want one?

zachinoz4220 karma

Yes. Want one. Still deciding between Donald's face on my balls or Donalds balls on my face.

merf123511 karma

Why not both?

zachinoz1506 karma

Someone please put that MEME of that little girl saying why not both here.

JC51484 karma

What's happened to Rowdy? (The fake dog) I sincerely hope either you or Donald has him in your house somewhere.

zachinoz2607 karma

I thought i was going to be able to keep Rowdy and then Disney (who owns the show) took him. They let me borrow him to put him in the background of a shot in Wish I Was Here. So look for him. It's like "Where's Waldo..."

pawsitively1041 karma

Poor Rowdy. I hope he isn't sitting lonely in a warehouse somewhere gathering dust. And moths. Taxidermy really tends to attract moths. And now I've made myself sad.

zachinoz2104 karma

I picture him in a giant warehouse of Disney props like the warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

jarrettbraun835 karma

He's chillin' with Rosebud.

zachinoz711 karma


-eDgAR-1421 karma

Thank you for doing this! I’ve always been curious as to how you felt about the Zach Braff quotes that came out of 4chan a few years ago. Were you offended or did you find them stupid and/or humorous?

zachinoz2220 karma

Thought it was offensive. Not to me personally, just the jokes were in bad taste. But I can't control the interwebs. Thanks, Al Gore.

Frajer1360 karma

was the Janitor really supposed to be a figment of JD's imagination at first?

zachinoz2047 karma

That was Bill's plan in season 1. But Neil was too funny. And when we became a hit, he had to branch him out.

thisguystaint1323 karma

what's your favorite alcoholic beverage?

zachinoz3192 karma

Sorry. Sit down. I hate appletinis. Usuallly drink Sierra Nevada Pale Ale or Kettle Soda.

AdamV981103 karma

Hey Zach thanks for doing this AMA. What's your favorite cereal?

zachinoz2047 karma

Life. Both flavors.

MichaelBergenMD1088 karma

Hey Zach, I'm having a bad day. What do you do when you have a bad day?

zachinoz2273 karma

Listen to music that will make me feel happy. Call someone who can call me out on my bullshit. Spoon my dog. Clear the chamber.

Balldropperbro771 karma


TheMuthaFlippin780 karma


zachinoz2786 karma

Why not both?

Romald_Thumbkin583 karma

Clear the chamber means what it means, right?

Edit: Zach Braff his own self has cleared it up: it's jerking off. I thought it might be unloading a suicide firearm, other people thought it might be hitting a bong, taking a shit, or mom's spaghetti. All good guesses but we got our closure.

zachinoz1202 karma

It French for "empty one's load" aka ejaculate into a tissue.

Pixel_Me_That932 karma

Hi Zach!

Are you Superman?

zachinoz1797 karma

Wait for it........ I'm no Superman. (P.s. Have you ever heard the full song? Lazlo Bane. It's quite good. The music video was one of the first things I directed...)

ClownJamboree932 karma

What's the best part about being famous? What is the worst? If you could have the same level of monetary\prestige success without being famous would you take it?

zachinoz1848 karma

Best. Everywhere you go in public people are nice to you. Worst: Anonymously on the internet, people say and write horrible things about and to you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrjp6e04dZ8

zachinoz908 karma

Ok Friends, thats 2 hours and 12 minutes. I'll come back later and answer more but now I have to go wash myself. Please check out "Wish I Was Here" this weekend. http://www.fandango.com/wishiwashere_171788/movieoverview

If you've liked my other stuff I promise you will like it. If you haven't, maybe give it a try... this might be the one that converts you. I'd like to end this AMA like I end all things in my life; with a brief message from Hooch:


PurpleTissues860 karma

Since you browse /r/gonewild so often, have you ever thought of posting there?

Drudax1772 karma

You have such a great smile.

zachinoz1517 karma


SympatheticDevil797 karma

How do you feel about the way the Obama administration has worked out? I ask because I remember you were an avid supporter in 2008 before he was elected, even doing some speeches on it if I remember rightly. Do you feel let down or are you happy with how he's spent his time in office?

Huge fan by the way. Loved Garden State, The High Cost of Living and The Ex.

EDIT: Also extremely hyped for WIWH!

zachinoz2054 karma

First of all, no one loves THE EX, but thanks for lying. I don't know how someone (anyone in either party) can be an effective President with this deadlocked congress. He's by no means been perfect. But I think he is a good man doing his best in a country that is gridlocked in opposing passions.

InQii782 karma

Hey Zach! What does Donald Faison likes more, weed or animating Legos?

zachinoz1497 karma

Donald is now obssessed with Golf. So I thing it goes: Weed, Golf, animating Legos. Here's a link to one of his movies:


costaman774 karma

First, you're easily the funniest account I follow on twitter. Second, toilet paper.. over or under?

zachinoz2679 karma

thanks, Over. Under people are savages and must be ended.

lilmags769 karma

Hi Zach! Thanks so much for doing an AMA. What's the best advice you could give an 18 year old who has no idea what to do with their future?

zachinoz1739 karma

EXPLORE! Read, watch movies, travel, take classes. You can't discover what you love if you don't look.

Maygorn731 karma

Hey Zach, my question is about the "Wish-I-Was-Here-Thank-You-Screening". I paid 30$ on your Kickstarter campaign, with the promise that I will be able to see the film online. As I live in europe, the screening was geoblocked in my region. I don't understand that you talked about "those who had problems with the screening" in your mail, because the vhx-team told me that there weren't any problems with the stream, but that the publisher (you?) didn't allow them to show the movie in europe. Why wasn't this issue communicated before the screening or even before the backing itself. Will there be another screening, or what can I await for the money I have paid? Thanks in advance for your response!

zachinoz1644 karma

I'm so, so, sorry about that. I want to deliver on my promises to everyone and we are franticly figuring out a solution. To be honest, streaming content globally and geoblocking and each individual foreign country's rules for distribution are a little over my head. And so that one got away from me and caught me by surprise. But rest assured, I will make it right. I will not let you down. Just give me a little time to launch the movie in USA and Canada and then all of my attention will turn to International for August and September. I can't sleep at night if I've let even one of my Backers down for a spilt second, so trust that I'm on it and will do my best to not only fulfill but go above and beyond for each and every one of you. There was some miscommunication, but the buck stops at me. I will make it right. Standby.

petrichorE6720 karma

How would you have wanted scrubs to end?

zachinoz2276 karma

Would have been funny if we recreated the Sopranos ending shot for shot, line for line, with our characters.

susiequacks644 karma

Does Harry Styles smell as good as I think?

zachinoz2152 karma

Like a unicorns's queef.

jaredthemagnificent643 karma

How did you like being in Amsterdam? Any chance of you coming back?

zachinoz1604 karma

I was too high to remember anything. So I need to.

Krilky636 karma

What's the dumbest joke on Scrubs that made you laugh?

zachinoz1463 karma

The scrubs short shorts the janitors wife made me with her limited fingers. Giggling now as I type this.

Spiffings684 karma

zachinoz800 karma

This is so funny. Haven't seen this in so long. This is what the Scrubs set was like. Laughed so hard everyday.

t0nyyy572 karma

Is Hooch still crazy?

zachinoz1411 karma

Hooch is out of his fucking mind.

ronak4sport561 karma

What was the most difficult scene to film in your career. Whether you are the one acting it or directing?

zachinoz903 karma

The emotional scenes in "Wish I Was Here" were the hardest things I've acted in and directed.

Havins445 karma

Fuck, Marry, Kill?

Donald Faison, Queen Elizabeth II, and The Gopher from Caddy Shack?

zachinoz1182 karma

Fuck them all.

aguyfrominternet424 karma

Did you ever see someone you know in Gonewild?

zachinoz1686 karma

No. But I can't recognize people by their assholes. Can you?

vertson421 karma

Do you care that the rotten tomatoes rating for 'Wish I Was Here' is so low?

zachinoz1099 karma

I don't think I'm much of a critics darling. Never really have been. Wasn't expecting it. As long as my fans go, I'm happy. I made this for people who like what I do.

doritoswag384 karma

Taran Killam is a star on SNL, and had some appearances on Scrubs, as well as many other popular shows. Was he always that funny on and off the show as he is today?

zachinoz763 karma

That guy is so talented. Talk about speaking shit into existence, he was saying the whole time on Scrubs, "One day I'm gonna be on SNL..." It was like his mantra. And he made it happen. And he's the best on there right now I think.

DownvoteBrigade80358 karma

Have you and Donald Faison ever had a romantic relationship? You can't fool us...

zachinoz1233 karma

It's not gay if it's just the tip.

clayism345 karma

What's up with you and The Shins?

zachinoz773 karma

I just really like the band. Nothing up, they just give me the feels.

Brusah326 karma

Hi Zach, thanks for doing the AMA.

How was it working with the cast and crew of Arrested Development?

zachinoz725 karma

I love that show. The scene I did where I'm exposed as a never-nude with David Cross was one of the funniest days of shooting ever. He and I riffed so much shit about being a never-nude and jean shorts that didn't make the cut. He is hilarious.

theArnoldFans1269 karma

Hi Zach, Do you pump iron / exercise? What do you do to stay fit and will you be back to San Diego Comic Con?

zachinoz377 karma

Loved Comic Con and I will come back. We shot a scene for Wish I Was Here there. Josh Gad and Ashley Greene are Cosplayers. Won't make it this year as I'm doing Bullets Over Broadway 8 shows a week in NYC.

hasabooga250 karma

How much are you affected by the critical reception your projects receive?

zachinoz889 karma

My ego wants everyone to like my art. But I know that's not realistic. So I just hope that enough people like what I do so I can keep making stuff. Otherwise I'll just go on FarmersOnly.com, find a wife and settle down.

bearmanatee231 karma

What do you think of Children's Hospital? It sort of reminds me of scrubs, just raunchier. Thanks for the AMA, love your work!

zachinoz414 karma

Never seen it. But they used to shoot in our old abandoned hospital until the owners tore it down.

smpgames226 karma

What is one show you would like brought back?

zachinoz398 karma

"The Comeback" with Lisa Kudrow. And they're bringing it back. Also "Project Greenlight" and they're bringing that back!

AFistfulOfVinylKXLU190 karma

Hi Zach,

Thanks so much for taking the time to do this AMA! I'm Alec, and I've been a fan of your creative style for a long time, and one of the most important elements of it for me has been your music selection. You've always been able to find a song that fits a scene so perfectly, it feels as if the music plays a character as well (Hell, sometimes it did on Scrubs - Looking at you, Colin Hay!) I made sure to pledge enough to Wish I Was Here's Kickstarter that I could get your playlist updates! With that in mind, I have a couple questions.

  1. Do you build a scene, and then choose a song to match it, or do you go in with a song in mind, and build a scene around it (or some other method)?

  2. How do you go about finding music you use?

  3. What is on your personal playlist right now? Which artists do you feel haven't yet found the audience they deserve?

  4. Do you have any advice for someone interested in music supervision?

  5. I'd love to hear a story or two about how you created/curated the soundtrack for Wish I Was Here!

  6. This one is a stretch: (deep breaths, Alec) I do a college radio show on KXLU 88.9 FM called "A Fistful Of Vinyl". We're volunteers (100% DIY). Would you ever want to come hang out with us one night, and chat about music things on air? I would totally treat you to In N Out. I know you get all kinds of attention from people bigger than we are, but I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I didn't ask.

Thanks so much for your time, Zach!

zachinoz251 karma

I build a GIANT playlist of ideas and then me and my editor, Myron Kerstein, just keep trying songs in different places until we get goosebumps. We have this inside joke with each other where we point to the hair on our arms standing up when the imagery and music choice have clearly clicked and we're feeling something on a visceral level. You can try your favorite song in the world and it won't work. It's completely trial and error.

mondojay181 karma

Favourite song of all time? Favourite song on the Wish I Was Here soundtrack?

zachinoz293 karma

Favorite song on the new soundtrack is the collaboration between Coldplay and Cat Power. It's the title track of the movie and I pretty much just listen to it on a loop. Chris Martin saw the movie, loved it. Got together with the band and they wrote the song. Cat Power saw the movie, loved it, said she'd sing it. Chris sings harmonies. I love it. http://smarturl.it/WishIWasHere

Arithered57 karma

Hi, Zach!

What is it about WIWH that made it so personal for you? I mean, it seemed like a movie you really, really wanted to make--so much so that you pushed it and pushed it until it finally happened. What makes this project different from other projects, to paraphrase the Passover Seder?

zachinoz114 karma

It's about my family, spirituality, love. I don't believe in an afterlife, so it's about "How long am i allowed to go after my dream before I have to give up..." It's very personal to me.

Freikorp22 karma

Hi Zach. You received a lot of criticism from the internet at large about your crowdfunding for your new movie. We both know you can't really take that kind of criticism seriously and it's just the internet. The people that helped genuinely wanted to see you make a movie in your vision, which I think everyone knows can't really be done with a studio unless you are like Hollywood royalty or an Illuminati or something.

ANYWAY... how do you deal with criticism, especially large-scale criticism, as a celebrity? Does it genuinely affect you, or have you learned to block it out by now? Thanks!

zachinoz30 karma

Here's a great article where I talk about all the Kickstarter stuff. I can take criticism if it's smart and articulates a point. But so much on the web is so angry and hateful. I guess I ignite passions in people both positive and negative. Maybe that's a good thing.