I grew up with blind parents, AMA!

I'd like to remind everyone that the OP's parents are blind, not fucking retarded. Although the OP is known to take advantage and cheat at boardgames. ;)

I upvoted for durr hurr VISIBILITY.

Were you able to get away with a lot, or were your parents still able to tell when you did something you weren't supposed to?

I'll be honest here: I got away with murder. When I was a lot younger, I'd put things like sweets into the shopping trolley, or take biscuits before my dinner, or get up and read in the middle of the night (crazy right?).

The worst I did was something I still feel bad about today, even though I didn't get away with it. It was the night before my mum was starting her physiotherapists job, and she'd laid her uniform out, including the speciality physiotherapists tunic, which had to be worn. I, being the shitty 7 year old that I was, sneaked into her room and wrote 'mummy has a smelly bum' in big letters on the back of her tunic in blue felt pen. Apparently it was a great ice breaker with her new colleagues, but I got into a lot of trouble that day.

sweets... trolley... biscuits... mummy... bum...

Limey as fuck.

u fckin wot m8 ill bash ur fckin eddin rite

ah I see the fellow Welsh/British ness coming out.

ill rek u now inna minnet

Duuuudeee, tell me about the murder :)

I did put a bee in the washing up water once. My mum was terrified of bees. I was an awful child.

Did you ever walk around naked in your house because, you know, they couldn't see you?

Yep.

"Kerily, why are you walking around naked?"

"But .. but .. how??"

It was.. all.... a lie? And that was how I learned how my parents took benefit fraud to the extreme.

Dad: Get going to bed, now. <slaps on bum>

Awkward silence.

It's okay, he'd probably miss.

Hi. Thanks for doing this AMA. Do you think electric cars are a danger for blind people as they almost make no noise at all?

Definitely. My Dad's almost been hit several times by electric cars. I've heard that some of them have fake engine noises for this very reason.

Are one of your parents much better looking than the other? Do you ever wonder if they could have landed the other one if they were able to see them?

OP's mom is at least a 9/10.

Well she's definitely not a 20/20

They both found that hilarious, as did I

What is the number one misconception you have encountered that people have about the blind?

The first question I get asked is usually 'How do they cook?' Aside from them guessing/me reading out cooking instructions, there's no difference. Also, most people assume they don't work, or that I do every single little thing for them. They're very far from helpless.

So in the interest of clearing up some misconceptions, how do they do it? For example, when I'm pouring boiling water from a kettle to a saucepan, I can tell when to stop pouring because the food is covered or the pan is nearly full. What about cleaning up, how can they tell whether a surface needs wiping; maybe they just wipe it anyway?

Can you identify any other specific things that are more challenging and how they deal with them, or anything you notice that they do in a different way to you or others because of being blind?

I ask because I'm really interested, in case you couldn't tell. Thanks for the AMA. :)

Edit: grammar.

My mum can tell by the sound of the reverberating water hitting the pot, my Dad just sticks his finger in and waits until the water touches it (dem useful callouses). My mum just wipes all the surfaces, and goes back over them if they still feel gritty/sticky. I don't really notice them do anything differently. I'm sure they do but I can't think of any specific examples. I'll come back to you though :)

How did you get around places since both parents were blind? Did you car pool, take a bus, etc?

My Gran would drive me to most places, or I would walk. My Gran's a bit old to drive now, so I've taken over the driving responsibility. When I go to uni, my parents and sister are planning to move to a more central location so that public transport is more accessible. (Where we currently live, there's no bus service.)

Because you had parents with disabilities, would/did the DMV allow you to acquire a license at an earlier age?

In Britain, I think it's only people with shortened life expectancies that are allowed to take their test a year early (although I could be wrong), so no.

It's nothing to do with shortened life expectancies, it's if you're receiving disability living allowance at the higher rate, you can apply for your provisional licence three months before your 16th birthday if you get the higher rate DLA.

Ah right, my mistake. They're on higher rate DLA but obviously I'm not.

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Oh god yes. I remember all of my mum's dogs, and all but one of my dad's. There was one that was the same age as me - my Dad finished training with her when I was around 6 months old, she died when I was thirteen, that was difficult. When the dogs retired, they went to live with my Gran (aside from one that we had to retire early), who lived down the road, so I got the benefit of still seeing them on a daily basis, but the excitement of a new dog.

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I tend to use my hearing a lot more in social situations than others would, for example, a lot of the time I will rely first on hearing traffic when crossing a road, then look just to make sure. Occasionally when I'm walking close to someone and there's a high kerb, I'll say 'step down' or something to that effect without thinking. I'll also walk around in the dark a lot at home, as when I was younger, my parents didn't bother switching the lights on after dark, so maybe my spatial awareness is slightly better.

Did they read to you as a kid or did they make sure someone else did?

My mum would make up stories for me, or play audiobooks, or read braille books, although we only had a few of these. I was very quick at learning to read though, my mum would encourage me to pick out the letters on signposts and food packets and my Dad would get me to read out computer pages that were difficult to navigate with the screenreader.

This may sound silly but it was the first thing I thought of if I were to grow up with blind parents; When a teacher would have students make gifts for their parents on mother's/father's day, did you choose to make something different that didn't rely on visual sense or just simply describe what you made to your parents?

In the schools I went to, we didn't really make gifts like that. We made christmas decorations a few times out of clay, so they could just feel those, and part of me thinks that as long as I was happy making whatever it was for them, they wouldn't care very much. I did get a part in a christmas concert changed once because I had a non speaking part though.

I did get a part in a christmas concert changed once because I had a non speaking part though.

That's great, go school! How did the change come about, did you request it?

I was the ghost of christmas future in Scrooge. I casually pointed it out to a teacher and almost immediately was given the part of Jacob Marley.

What is it like having your parents not know what you look like? Any funny or emotional experiences? Things like them dressing you when you were growing up.

I answered this earlier but people have been asking so I'll answer it now. I had an odd dress sense as a child as I essentially chose my own clothes. I would also cut my own hair. As they don't base much on appearance, they didn't really mind. Obviously to a lot of other people, looks are everything, so I think I might have been pitied a little by my friend's parents etc. I had this furry russian hat that I would wear in the summer instead of a sunhat or baseball cap or whatever, because I didn't want to be left out. Also, I was on TV once as a seven year old wearing blue psychadelic 70s-esque leggings. That was a definite mistake.

Please. I want to believe.

Has this, in any way shape or form, ever happened?

I really wish I could say no. My mum and I are of similar heights, a few years ago I was making a cup of tea and my Dad comes up behind me and slides his arms around me, I jumped, spilled tea all over him, burned him pretty badly while yelling 'DADWHATTHEFUCK' He apologised and many laughs were had.

Was this made more awkward by the fact that you walked around naked occasionally?

Thank fuck I was fully clothed at the time.

How did your parents meet each other?

At a tandem cycling race in 1992. My mum was 19, my dad was 26. My mum was living in Scotland at the time, around a 6 hour car journey from my Dad in Wales, so they kept in touch over the phone until they got a flat together.

Weird timing, both of them getting a flat like that. Did they have trouble changing the tires?

They had to phone me up to read the instructions to allow them to change the tyre, but they understood pretty quick and were back on their way in no time.

Did other kids think differently of you as you grew up?

I think they were curious but I don't feel I was treated differently. If anything, people were a lot more inclined to come up and start talking to me about things when we were kids, I suppose the fear of somehow offending me wasn't there. I don't know if it's changing times or whatever, but my younger sister's (9 years old) friends' parents often make excuses if their kids get invited to our house. This never happened with me as a child, but I think that the parents somehow feel that my parents would be incapable of looking after their little darlings. It might also be because we moved to a more affluent area, I don't know.

I find myself getting angry at those parents who won't let their kids go to your parents house. Do they think that because your parents are blind they are incapable of making sure the little ones don't get murdered?

Apparently so. You wouldn't think they'd managed to raise two normal kids.

Was there ever anything you had to remind your parents to do for you that they wouldn't think of since they couldn't see?

Signing consent forms was the major one, although in the end I would just sign them myself. I'm sure there are more examples like this, but that's what immediately came to mind.

Did you parents ever use humorous self-deprecating phrases during your time with them? Like....I'll keep an eye out for you...You're the apple of my eye...We refuse to turn a blind eye...That caught my eye?

'Don't pull the wool over my eyes' was a favourite of my Dad's, they love the well thought out blind jokes.

Do you know what the science is behind you having normal vision and both parents being blind? Were they born blind or was this an acquired condition via accident or deterioration of their vision? Also do you have any siblings that are blind?

My Dad had cancer as a 2 year old (Bilateral Retinoblastoma) and lost both his eyes. The form of cancer he had was hereditary, and there was a high chance I would develop it, so I went through a lot of tests as a child until some sort of final test was developed, which i took when I was 8 and found that I was clear. My sister was tested for it in utero. My mum was born without retinas, which is also hereditary but both my sister and I escaped that too.

Is it possible for you or your sister's kids to develop these? If it is, would this discourage you from having kids?

I need to talk to them more about this because I'm not completely sure of how it works. I'm not planning on having kids anyway, but if I were thinking about it, this would definitely be a consideration. If it was my Dad's retinoblastoma, I would not have children. I would not want to put them through the suffering and pain of an aggressive childhood eye cancer. My mum's condition though, I'm not sure it would stop me. Blind people lead pretty good lives, from what I've experienced.

Did you guys ever play hide and seek? Seriously though, was there ever an occasion where they lost you?

I used to have these bells that they'd velcro around my wrist, although in games of hide and seek, I'd tie them to the dog to throw them off ;) They never lost me, I was pretty sensible when we were out (I knew it would be stupid to run off and leave them etc). Interestingly, my sister was terrible as a young child when we were out, probably because I was there and there was no need for her to have the responsibility that I did. We lost her a few times, she never went far though.

What's the biggest barrier in terms of physical accessibility to places that your parents encounter in daily life? (I.e. high curbs, non-handicap-accessible doors, inadequate braille signage or unmarked crossings, that sort of thing.)

Crossings that don't have the tactile paving stones. It's very easy to weave off path if they're not using the dogs, and if there's no paving stones, they could potentially walk into traffic if it's a difficult junction.

As I understand you are not blind. Does it takes lots of effort to keep the house tidy? As i saw in the photo, there are some mess.

Ha! That's just my room, I'm a very messy person. The rest of out house is pretty neat. My mum does most of the cleaning, I do the vaccuuming and my Gran comes over once a week to do things like clean the windows.

Does their navigation around the house rely on things being organized in a specific way?

In a way. They know where everything is, but they don't lose their shit if something's moved, although my mum is constantly losing the potato peeler and her favourite knife because no-one puts it back where it should be.

Don't think doing an AMA will get you out of exam revision.

You're just jealous of my reddit gold and my new found fame.

Has your mom or dad ever tried to read a cheese grater?

My mum once put five spicy falafel balls into my sisters lunchbox instead of strawberries. My sister cried. It was hilarious.

Hi /u/Kerily, no questions here but wanted to suggest that there might be a sub-reddit of volunteer freelancers that might whip out a basic CSS for your dad's page. I would've love to help you myself but I unfortunately lack expertise in the same!

Nice one, I'll let him know, thanks!

Hi, I would not mind styling the entire site free of charge :) It would take me a few evenings (since i work full time as a junior programmer) But i can whip something up with all the current content and email a zip folder of the entire site if you wish? Also I'm dead serous. Edit: I'd also like to say I'll ensure the code is all commented so if anyone else looks at it in the future it will be easy to maintain :) Edit2: GOLD!? Thankyou kind stranger! Final Site Update I have messaged OP with the completed site! here is what the sales page looks like now: http://i.imgur.com/MqiHCrW.png I'm sure OP will implement the new site at some point for all your viewing needs! :)

Are you sure?! I'll talk to my Dad about it when he gets home and PM you later :)

What is the greatest life lesson that your parents have taught you? I can only imagine the things you and your parents have been through.

Don't make stupid excuses for your failures, and there's no such word as 'can't' You can achieve almost anything if you want it badly enough.

How was food ?

Pretty normal. I'd make my own breakfast usually after the age of around 6 (cereal or toast), my mum would make lunch and tea, usually things like pasta, chicken and rice, soup, curry etc. I did enjoy cooking and took over the cooking of my own meals at around 12-13.

I don't know how to word this, but do you feel like they are within each other's "leagues"? Like do you think one of them, had they not been blind, would be dating someone better looking than the other? I understand the attraction is there, I'm just curious.

I think my mum is hotter than my Dad something something broken arms but I think that intellectually, they compliment each other.

So I'm located in the US, and it looks like you're located somewhere in the UK. What services are available to visually impaired people there?

(Both my parents are blind too so it's just curiosity)

They both get the highest rate of DLA, Access to work (money for petrol/buses) and a free guide dog. I'm sure there are other things, but they don't use them.

What are you planning on studying at uni?

Law, hopefully.

When your parents explained/taught you things about the external world when you grew up, how would they do it, considering they might not really know what something actually looks like?

They didn't really base stuff off what things looked like, although they could formulate a pretty good idea on things aesthetically by the feel of them, or how they were described in books that they'd read etc.

Did you walk around naked for the hell of it?

Yep. Only when my sister isn't home though.

Have you ever felt like you were missing connections with your parents when, for example, you were trying to point out the most amazing looking sunset?

Not really, my dad never really went for visual stuff but my mum always seemed to appreciate things that I would tell her about how things looked, although maybe she was just humouring me.

Do you have any siblings? How did kids treat you at school?

I have a sister who is ten years younger than me. Kids at school were curious and generally polite, asked lots of questions and often saw it as a pretty cool thing.

Do you think that your parents being blind hindered your relationship with them at all?

I don't think so. I did go through a shitty phase at around 12-13 of 'why me, why can't you drive me to places, of all the parents I had why couldn't it be you' etc, but I got over that pretty quickly. I still get frustrated occasionally if my mum can't find the potato peeler but nothing major.

This seems to be a recurring problem in your family; you've mentioned it a few times. How often do you eat potatoes? Have you considered getting multiple peelers?

We have multiple peelers, but there is one peeler that glides like the sweet clouds of heaven over the skins. It's highly elusive and cannot always be located. Sometimes my mum just rage quits and refuses to peel the potatoes. It is a sad day for all.

Growing up, what was the worst thing you did that took advantage of their condition that you may have regretted later?

I probably took over £100 in sweets sneaked into the trolley. I sort of regret that.

This is a legit question that ive always wondered and i know its stupid and you prob dont have the answer..... but how does a blind person kno there done wiping?

They do. I asked my dad this once out of curiosity. He said it's all to do with the consistency of the shit. If it's runny, he's going to need to wipe more. If it's sticky, more still. If he's had a curry the night before, he'll prepare for the explosion.

Do you know if blind people can see in their dreams? What do they see?

My mum can, my Dad can't. My mum seems to sense that she's in a place, or she'll recognise it from 'seeing' objects around her. I'm not sure entirely how it works, it's kind of hard to imagine.

How hard was it to get away with stuff? My aunt's blind and she can hear her kids misbehaving on the opposite side of the house through two closed doors!

I learned to be quiet and sneaky. When I was young (under 5) I would put my jangly bell bracelet on the dog if I wanted to do something without being detected.

When you were younger, how did clothes shopping work? Did you wear clothes you knew your parents would have disapproved of if they had seen them?

I was a somewhat eclectic child in my fashion choices, but they generally let me go with the flow. There was this fleecy russian looking hat and matching jumper I used to love to wear in the height of summer, I'm sure I have a picture of it somewhere. http://imgur.com/I7SRXgl - My mum wooking like a modern day hipster with animal crossing hair, and me in my russian hat. Taken around 1998.

Since your parents were blind did you ever sneak in boys at night and if so did they ever catch you in the act and they didn't know

Ha, yes! When I was around 14 I had a party, one of the boys there was someone my friend had a huge crush on, and we wanted him to stay over. My mum said no, so we did a loud and theatrical goodbye to him at the gate, then he climbed the wall into our back into our back garden. My parents said after that they had known all along, but waited until 3am to burst into my room and catch us because it would have been more embarrassing for me.

As for 'catching me in the act', never ;)

Whenever you were angry at them, would you rearrange the furniture?

My Dad's really into amateur radios, whenever I was angry at him, I'd go and change all the frequencies.

Do you know if your parents were expecting you to be born blind? Are people surprised that you aren't?

I'm not sure what they were expecting. There were some seriously high odds, I'm very surprised that both me and my sister have no problems.

It amazes me that so many people are convinced /u/Kerily is a boy when her photo shows her wearing patterned leggings.

Do you look like either of your parents? Or share any features with them? If so, have you told them?

I don't look like either of them. There's a running joke that I am actually the child of my mum's ex boyfriend. Although if I didn't dye my hair and wear makeup, I'd probably look more like my mum.

Have your parents interacted with anyone hearing impaired?

My boyfriend's mum is deaf. If they ever meet, it'll be interesting.

I used to work in my school's resource center for students with disabilities and the director and his wife were both blind. They had two young kids (I believe both were sighted), and they attached small bells to the kids' shoes to keep track of where they were when they went out. Did your parents have any kind of system or tricks that they used to help them raise you?

I had the small bells! I'd usually just wear them around the house to make it easier for my mum to find me, out of the house I was always pretty sensible.

How do blind people know when to get off the bus without asking? Do they have to take someone to get familiar with the route or what?

If they're in an unfamiliar area, they'll ask the driver to give them a shout when to get off. Occasionally drivers have forgotten and they've ended up in the middle of nowhere but they're generally pretty good. If they're going to be using the route regularly, they'll get me to go with them the first time and tell them where to get off.

How big of an influence have (guide) dogs been in your or your parents' life?

Huge. No doubt they would have not been able to live alone when they were students without the dogs. Now it's not so essential for them, as they have me and my mad driving skills, but living alone in big towns/cities, it was necessary for them to have the dogs. My mum still takes hers to work every day.

Do they use cash, if so how do they distinguish the bills?

£20 are bigger than £10, which are bigger than £5. The coins are easy as thhey're all different sizes and weights.

How difficult was your conception?

Picture the scene. It is a warm April eve. The sun is setting below the horizon. Dust is swirling in the air of the damp smelling Glasgow flat. The evacuation from the ballsack was a wild ride, but I was able to gather my thoughts and focus my attention. I started off at the back of the team, but my sheer skill and speed enabled me to push past, and eventually I was leading. The other sperm were fast and it was exhausting trying to keep my lead, but I made it.

In all seriousness, I imagine it was pretty much like normal. Like having sex in the dark, probably.

Did you watch TV as much as a "normal" kid?

We didn't have a TV at home. I would watch some at my Gran's house, but I lived in the era of 5 channels, and I often wasn't at her house for the morning kid's stuff, so not really.

Have they ever walked in on you masturbating? How did that go?

Nah, I'm careful with that kind of thing

Did you ever get flak from bullies or the like about your parents?

I wasn't bullied as a child, and other kids were generally more curious than hostile about it.

How do they know of they put on a shirt the wrong way?

The tag is usually in the back of the shirt, or the pattern or collar is different at the front.

The real question is...How did they make you?

A kid in one of my classes at school actually asked me that! He was hilarious but a little behind, development wise. He asked me if they'd slipped while making the bed.

Are you blind.... Also how blind were your parents? How aware of what they looked like were they? Did they have an idea or did they just instinctively know?

Nope, although both my sister and I wear glasses (I'm short sighted, she's long sighted) and I have a slight lay eye when I'm tired. My Dad's completely blind, my mum can tell the difference between light and dark, and can make out windows and doorways. I think they just instinctively knew, like my mum would always know what hairstyles suited her just by the way the hair fell and how it complimented her face shape etc.

How did peek-a-boo work?

Also, what was it like using a telephone device for the deaf and watching TV with described video? Also how exactly does a TDD work?

Edit: Wow, my mistake. I completely jumbled these two together since I always see commercials for both.

They just did the hand actions for pee-a-boo, I didn't have any complaints as a baby. No idea about a TDD as they weren't deaf, and I've never come into contact with that kind of service. They used a phone like everyone else used a phone. We didn't have described video as we didn't have a TV until I was around 10, and even then, it was only me who watched it occasionally.

How did your parents wipe your poopy ass when you were a baby? By touch? Serious question I'm curious.

Pretty sure it was just by touch. When my sister was born, my mum did all the nappy changes with no problem, so I assume it was just trial and error, as most things are when you're a new parent.

How did your parents meet?

A tandem cycling race in 1992.

I'm guessing that this happened when you were too young to have any real memory of it - but do you have any recollection of the process of realizing that your parents were blind / that they perceived the world in a different way than you?

I had no realisation moment, it was always clear that 'this is how mum and dad are, they're not like everyone else.' I was just pissed off that they couldn't drive though, I didn't see it as detrimental at all.

Did you ever secretly watch them have sex?

I walked in on them once, when I was 6. Thought they'd lost something and were loudly looking around for the bed for it. Asked them if I could help.

:(

How many bidets were there in the house?

Err, none.