IAmA Hostess at a Hostess Club in Waikiki, HI. I earn commission when wealthy patrons buy me a drink in exchange for 10-15 minutes of my company, where each drink ranges from $20 to $20,000. AMA. [NSFW]

What drink costs $20k?

The $20 drink is the cheapest and (obviously) most popular one: cheap "vodka" and cranberry juice chaser.

k = thousand

he wants to know which drink costs 20000

OoOoOo! Thank you, missed that. Well there are 3 levels of champagne service and each of them are Cristal. The $20,000 drink would be Cristal for all of the girls. It also includes renting out the entire venue for a private party and allows you to choose which girls you'd like to be working.

How many times has it been ordered and what kind of person drops that kind of cash?

We normally sell one a month. The next one is reserved in advance for a bachelor party. Three guys came in to meet the girls and try figure out which ones they want to work that night. In this scenario, the commission would be split among the girls they choose. I only met them recently, so I don't know much about them or how they got their money.

The last one was from a group of friends, who say they're in "sales and marketing"... To me that sounds like Drug Dealer (or some similar illegal profession).

Not certainly, some companies pay a shitload for Marketing and the guys they hire for 100k/year are mainly idiots with a large ego and no idea what they should actually do.

Yeah, I know. I have some marketing regulars that come in. It's the WAY they said it though that leads me to believe they're selling and marketing a very different kind of product.

My first two years in Japan, my friends and I used to frequent the local hostess/strip bars quite regularly. At around 8pm, there is actually no cheaper place to drink if you can enjoy whiskey.

Anyway, I am always surprised how intoxicating the women that work these places are. They are experts at making you feel like you're a Casanova, and they have an uncanny ability to talk excitedly about almost any topic. Coming from a pretty socially capable guy: It's hard not to feel like you've "got a connection" with one of these girls after sitting for an hour with them.

Questions:

1) Have you ever developed feelings for a client? I ask because one of my friends dated a girl he originally met at a hostess bar for a few months.

2) Do you maintain "business relationships" with repeat clients? I mean, do you text/talk to them on the phone, encourage them to come back?

3) Do you use your real name, or a fake name? Also, do you have a separate "work-only" cellphone that you use with clients?

I think it's an interesting culture, and I'm curious how similar your system is to the one's I've seen in Japan.

Thanks!

1. I develop feelings for my patrons all the time, though never romantically. The key to success is to develop and project feelings for the patrons throughout our time together. When I meet a new patron, I find something I like about them: accent, smile, eyes, stories, vibes, whatever. So I find that, and I amplify that so that it makes up their whole being. So that's what I focus on throughout our time together, and that's why men go off thinking I adore them. I can't fake those kinds of feelings from nothing, and I have met one person who I could find absolutely nothing to like about them at all. I had to excuse myself... I know these are not the feelings you're asking about, and the answer to your particular question is no, but I do have feelings for all of them, whether it be on a brotherly or grandfatherly level, friendship, or just even on a basic human level. That's what keeps them coming back for more, and that's why I enjoy my job.
2. When there's a client that I enjoy spending time with and who spends a good amount of money on me, I will initiate and ask for his number. Me asking him makes it seem like I'm really into him over me waiting for him to ask me. They text me from time to time. I don't have long conversations via text because my time and attentions can't be given out for free. Mainly it's a tool to use to ask them to come back in to see me, and to make sure they know my schedule so that they don't come in before me and blow their money on some other girl.
   
3. I use a stage name. I have a hard time pretending to be something I'm not though so my stage name is the second part of my Hawaiian middle name. I use my real name as a tool to get my patrons to come back. When asked for my real name I'll say something like "My real name?! But I barely know you. Once I get to know you better I can trust you with that. Maybe on our 3rd date." The exception would be that if a patron shares really personal, painful, or deep aspects about his life with me, I'll always respect that trust with giving my real name...
4. There's an app that can make another fake number on your iPhone that you can turn on and off at will to protect your own number. A lot of girls use that. For me, I thought about it but it's too complicated for my lazy ass, so I just give out my real number.

Do you by any chance know the name of that app?

Burner App https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/burner-disposable-phone-numbers/id505800761?mt=8 (this one should open on your iPhone)

Not available in Australia :(

We have a large Austrailian tourist base, what better excuse than to come visit!

How often do you encounter customers who expect more than just drinks and company (i.e. sexual contact of some sort), and how do you deal with that when it comes up?

Every single night, especially with new customers. Everybody wants more. My general technique is acting like I will, then pulling back and squealing "oh no! Mama-san is watching me! You're a bad boy you know that's not allowed. You're trying to get me in trouble so I'll sit over here" and pout. If they keep trying, I direct them to someone who can help them in those areas better than me.

So it is explicitly not allowed, but some hostesses indulge the customer anyway?

No. It's "legally" not allowed. Mama-san helps the girls who struggle and want to earn income in other ways though. She'll help by directing girls to certain patrons and provide a safe place for these types of activities to take place. But this all takes place behind the scenes. But we all know that were we ever to get raided, none of that was ever allowed...

Do you know of any establishments like yours that have been raided? Or do the police tend to look the other way?

We have undercovers come by on a regular basis. Mama-san recognizes them all and we hate them. They're the dirtiest bunch to ever walk this earth. The ones that roll through are not the finest officers around. Girls avoid them as much as possible.

The Liquor Commission is another force altogether. They had some undercovers in last Saturday observing. They issued a couple warnings. One girl couldn't find her registration card, one girls outfit was a bit too revealing, and the strongest warning went out to a girl named Aloha for "Signalling". It was her that recognized them and warned the rest of us that they were there. It's the liquor commission you have to worry about because they can revoke your license and you can't work anymore. The cops can be bought off easy.

Is the Liquor Commision a State Agency? How did Aloha figure out that they were undercover officiers? How did she signal?

She said she could "smell 'em". She's been in the business for 13 years. She noticed that they weren't drinking, weren't talking and their eyes were wandering over all the girls, so she told mama and she was right!

How is "signalling" illegal? I can't imagine a law that outlaws it without breaking the 1st amendment.

THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!! I don't know how that can be legal, but she did get a warning for it...

Literally bought off? With cash?

With cash, favors, or liquor. That's the kind of scumbags these undercovers are... Mama-san arranges that sort of thing... That's why we all despise them.

I can't tell if you're making this up or serious. If this is true, wouldn't the police just find this thread about all the illegal shit your boss does, march to the judge for a subpoena, and close you down by sunset?

This is anonymously submitted online, and that's why you can't trust whether I'm telling the truth or not. That's the beauty of the Internet. None of what I'm saying on here can be proven as fact, so that's why I can be as honest as I'd like. This is an AMA, not an affidavit.

I wouldn't take that big of an offense considering how big a deal human trafficking is in the world. It's enormously widespread and establishments like yours are a fairly usual hotbeds for that activity outside of Japan. I can understand disliking a guy trying to bust prostitution since that's obviously a "side" job for you guys but some of those undercovers are only doing their jobs.

I wouldn't take offense if these "officers" weren't scumbags. I've always had a very high opinion and respect for police officers. But the ones that roll through here are not upstanding officers of the law coming in to protect us all and vanquish the bad guys. No. These ones are dirty scumbags who abuse their power. Like Denzel in Training Day, except minus the cool and hot factors. No Thank You!

Liquor Commission guys are general good honorable guys. They come in to make sure the law is upheld because, more than anything else, the laws are designed to protect the girls. I respect them for that. But as for the cops who come through here, NO THANK YOU!

I experienced the hostess club scene in Tokyo. As a Texan, I felt it my duty to teach one hostess who had only a little English that the correct way to greet those of my nationality is with a big loud smiling "Howdy, Howdy, Howdy!" The Japanese who took me there thought it was a great idea, until I taught all the office girls and the factory girls to greet me the same way. "Howdy, Howdy, Howdy!" All day long, everywhere I went in the company.

Have you had any foreigners exchange niceties of their homelands' greeting styles with you, similar to my experience in Japan?

Yes! That's good fun. It's hard when there's a language barrier, so my method of keeping a customer I can't communicate with entertained is to have them teach me their language. Its good fun, but I can tell when they're tricking me into saying naughty things by the wicked grin they get and the rowdy laughter I get after saying something...

Is it just men, or do you converse with women too?

Never had the pleasure of a woman purchasing my company yet, so I'm not sure how awkward or normal that type of situation would be for me. Men have brought women in with them before, but those types of interactions are normally in a group setting, and the man pays. It's never been just a one on one. Lesbians do come in sometimes to watch the dancers, but I've never seen any of them pay for the company of a hostess.

This sounds like a great alternative to stripping my way through college. How does one find a legitimate business like this? What are the qualifications?

Hahahahahaha! Qualifications?!

*be young

*be beautiful (or very interesting)

*be able to carry on a simple conversation

That's it. All it takes for your registration is a record of your TB shot (colleges require this too so you should be able to get the record of it no problem. If not, you can do it for free at a clinic), your SSN, photo ID, and $10.

Finding places might be the tricky part. These sorts of clubs originated in Japan and are not generally found outside of areas with little Japanese influence. There aren't many areas in the US that have this sort of place. Other than California and Hawaii, I don't know where else in the US you can find one. In Hawaii, it's easy. Out of the 5000 odd liquor licenses in Hawaii, over half of them are for bars like this. They're all pretty good, and they're safe. Simply open up a phone book, find one, go in and ask for a job. Simple. Good luck.

That's crazy! I'm moving to a Pacific coast city with a large Asian population, so I might have to look into that. I feel like this is one industry my theater degree actually qualifies me for. Is there any other name they tend to fly under? Thanks!

I can't think of another name for it, but you can definitely find out at the liquor commission. Not only can you find out where they are, but you'll most likely meet some girls there who can better help you. I wouldn't completely rule out stripping though. This is the first club I've ever been to ever in my life. I never even went to a regular dancing club before. So it was here that I saw a stripper dance for the first time. Let me tell you, it is the most beautiful, mesmerizing thing I have ever seen in my life. It's so graceful and sensual. It perfectly compliments the female body. When the club closes, the girls do stripper school. I can do 5 or 6 different moves now. It's so fun!

Stripping sounds fun, I've belly danced in the past, but I just wouldn't be comfortable doing it for money (it was really a joke, but now I'm really interested in finding one of these clubs!) However, I am well-read, a grad student, fluent Spanish speaker, and busty, so this might be an awesome option if I can find one. Do they tend to not like girls with tattoos/piercings etc? Is there anything I can do to my appearance that would decrease my chances?

Everyone has their own cup of tea. Some men like that look. Generally though, too many piercings and tattoos can work against a girl because it limits her to a specific "type" of man. Girls that are more flexible in her look have a better chance of producing more money. I generally keep at least 2 outfits in my car, or wear one that I can alter at will. For example, some people like sexy black dress, and some like belly shirt so I tie it up in those cases. Being able to change your look to suit the situation is the best for business.

Many are known as "Korean Bars". Not sure if that's what they are called by the liquor commission though.

On the neighbor islands they're sometimes called Korean bars because they're almost alway owned and operated by either a Korean or Vietnamese woman. (ALL of them are run by women who were once hostesses). My mama-san is Vietnamese and she is hands down the most beautiful woman I've ever met! She is so elegant and packed full of knowledge and advice for the girls that we feel like she IS our nighttime mama. She even feeds us!

What is the weirdest thing someone has asked you do?

This one dude from India wanted me to play mirror with him. So we would face eachother, stare into eachother's eyes and he wanted me to copy every facial movement he made like... eyebrow lift... lip pucker... eyeball roll right... eyeball flick left... It was weird, but he got a kick out of it and would jump up and down with applause when I kept up with any of his trickier movements. So yeah, weird, but I had fun.

What kind of "company" are you talking about?

Now, MY company consists of... My company, plain and simple. I will entertain you with my wit and charm, get you singing and dancing, discuss whatever topic you want, laugh, smile, and make you feel like you're the most charming, interesting, and seductive person I've ever met. Many patrons do go off under the impression that I'm madly in love with them. And, if I really like you, if you bought enough drinks, and if I'm drunk enough, I'll allow you to massage my back or stroke my hair or hold me or something, as long as it's G rated I will allow a patron to touch me in those kind of ways. But I never under any circumstances will touch a patron other than to give a hello or goodbye hug. That's illegal anyway.

Now here's the reason I tagged NSFW... See, what I noticed is that girls who have been in the business for a long time are at a bit of a disadvantage. When most of the business comes from repeat customers, she might find herself going home with nothing when men get tired of a girl easily and want to move on to the next one. Also, girls with language barriers are at a disadvantage also. These sorts of girls do make sure they even out the playing field for themselves by offering "friendlier" company. I know for a fact that the 43 year old Cambodian hostess is a straight out hooker...

i think he meant was... does company mean just talking, or does it mean some sort of lap dance, or sexual acts?

This is a very gray area. As I mentioned, there is a space for exotic dancing. There's a $125 drink that will buy a private dance. Now what this price buys is simply a seat in a room where you can watch a pretty girl dance for 5 songs, and she will flash her goodies (illegal to be nude off of the stage, and double illegal to do so in a "private" area). Under no circumstances does the club condone sex acts for money, because that would be illegal and counts as human trafficking. BUT- in Real Life, all sorts of mischief goes on there depending on the girl. Like I said, some girls even the playing field. Back there, negotiations happen and after more money is exchanged, some girls do more.

Great AMA, you're doing and amazing job answering people's questions honestly without dodging them! (: Do your parents/family know about your job? If so, how has it affected your relationship with them?

Yes! I don't have any shame in what I do so my family knows. Actually, a funny story is when I first started the job, I called my sister up (she lives with my mom on the easy coast), so I called her up and was talking to her about the job. My mom overheard the conversation and was like, "oh, ok, so she meets men and entertains them throughout the night at the bar and they buy her drinks. She sits with them and has conversations with them and stuff so... She's an ESCORT!". She then proceeded to call my Aunty and tell her about my new job. So when I called my mom a little later to tell her about it, she was like "oh I already know!".... I was kinda upset about it, cus she totally didn't realize that the term "escort" has a different meaning nowadays... But I cleared it up soon enough and now she knows to call me a HOSTESS...

But yeah, my family totally supports me. And when I was having issues earlier on, like feeling guilt for what I felt was messing with people's emotions, my family helped to get me back on track. They've always supported everything I've done and I'm lucky to have them on my side.

What do you do when a patron intentionally orders large quantities of cheap stuff so to get you drunk? Can you call yourself out if you start to feel too dizzly? Or, is there an agreement with the barman to make your drinks especially light? What happens to hostesses who get close to alcohol intoxication? Do you have often hangovers?

It's against the law to drink alcoholic while working, so those $20 drinks are technically and legally supposed to be water... But in reality, most girls can't make it through a night without drinking SOMETHING, so, once mama-san knows you and sees you're not an undercover, you can ask her to sneak in some real liquor (she makes all the girls drink). When I first started I drank only water, then I ordered 4 drinks throughout the night (she keeps track), then 6, and now I drink until I let her know to stop. So, it's the girls that regulate how much alcohol they consume, not the patron, and mama will never allow us to drink so much that it shows we're drunk.

She makes all the girls drink or she makes all the girls' drinks?

She prepares the drinks for each hostess. Major punctuation error there...

Dear god how much is blue label?

Well you can go a step up to Grey Goose for $40, but Blue label would have to be a Ladie's Choice drink at $60.

Oh that could be worse. Is it that same price to by myself a drink?

Not at all. Beer is $7. Non-alchoholic drinks are $5, and shelf drinks are regular prices.

May I ask why a soda is $5?

Just to make money. They have a one drink minimum in the club to keep the guys out who just wanna come in and get a free peak at the dancers. They made the soft drinks the same price as a beer.

that's a very reasonable price, but I can't imagine there are many ladies drinking high end scotch at your place.

True. Through the times i had the option of choosing my own drink, I don't recall ever choosing scotch. I normally go for something more girly like UV Lemonade or Red Wine.

Wow! You have such an interesting job and you sound like a fascinating person. Thanks for doing this AMA.

I guess my question would be: do many women go to your bar?

If my husband and I ever make it to Hawaii, I'd be way interested in checking this place out! I think it sounds way fun and could be an interesting way to enjoy some good conversation. :-)

Yes! Women come in sometimes, though not often. But when they do, we love it! Women are much better tippers than men and in these cases she normally always encourages him to be generous to the girls. It's good fun entertaining couples together because the type of couple that would come in together are almost always just fun, open people in general. It's a blast, come!

Objectively, how attractive do you think you are?

This place has given me a hyper-inflated sense of ego. Any and all insecurities I once had were virtuously flown out the window at the first $300 glass of champagne I sold. So, objectively, I see myself ranking as a 10 to 9 out of 10 patrons. As for the other guy, well, he's a weirdo anyway and I wouldn't wanna sit next to him so it's a win-win for me.

goddamn I wish getting my insecurities removed was that easy :/ thanks for the answer!

All it takes is people throwing money at you.

Let me help

The women may very well all be beautiful who work at those places but my experience is that typically the lights are low, the women are dressed like a million bucks, and they're not shy about the makeup. They look the part of a sexy woman who will talk to you if you buy them drinks.

I know people will probably think I'm just being a prick for hating on a (allegedly) pretty girl but it's possible that the whole experience that patrons get where she works leads them to be willing to spend lavish amounts of money on her to fulfill the fantasy. Paying more for something gives it added value to the customer.

You're generally right, but I hardly wear make up. I shower and let my hair air-dry into their natural ringlets. I moisturize with cocoa butter and use a little mascara and some Chapstick. I don't dress with much embellishment, normally simple in black or white, though on occasion I'll wear pink. I wear heels, toe nail polish, and pendant earrings. My eyes are my natural color, my skin has a natural tan, and yes, these breasts are 100% real. I go for a very natural, youthful look like the native island princess that I am. That's what works for me.

http://imgur.com/V3J1qK0

It's amazing! Especially because when you get rid of your insecurities, you build up this confidence. Carrying that kind of solid confidence with you actually makes you feel even MORE sexy, hahahahaha! Isn't it great?! I completely recommend it.

By saying "10 to 9 out of 10" are you just skirting the fact that you think it's a 10 but don't want to come across as too vain?

No! There's no way I'd worry about being vain! Like I said, my ego is hyper inflated so I'm super vain, hehehehee. But no, I phrased it that way because its true. I am a 10, but what I've learned in this business is that everybody has a type. Some men like girls with heavy tattoos and lots of piercings. A couple men come in that only come to see Marilyn. She is this tiny little thing from Guam. She stands about 4'8 tall, weighs about 80 pounds and has the figure of a child. Even she says that her clientele is the pedophile type... So yeah, to these type of folk, I'm just not their type, and that's ok. I'm still a 10 either way. That's why we have all sorts of girls working the floor, so that we can accommodate anybody's type.

It's good to hear your bosses cover their bases and treat the customers right.

What do your customers like?

My patrons are all different sorts and enjoy different things. In general though, what I think MY patrons enjoy is the feeling of being in love. They love staring into my eyes because I can tell stories with them. The story I tell best is that of love and adoration. It makes them feel good about themselves, I think, to have a beautiful girl infatuated with them, so that's what I provide them with.

It sounds like you're good at your job. What I meant was...Marilyn's customers like Marilyn because she's a cute little thing from Guam who isn't very womanly. What do you look like?

A native island princess: http://imgur.com/V3J1qK0

404 :(

Yeah sorry... Another user convinced me to take it down to protect my privacy...

http://imgur.com/a/rHx1P Changed my mind

Do you carry a glass of coke with a straw, and does the level of the drink increase or decrease when you drink it after a shot of liquor?

No, fresh drinks are brought each time. They bring a little shot of whatever in it and a chaser. They immediately take away the shot glass after I'm done and they leave the chaser. Girls get in trouble for not drinking the chaser fast enough because then the server can't ask the patron to get her a refill. That juice should be gone within 10 to 15 minutes,

If you have a particularly busy night, is the amount you have to drink a problem? I find it hard to make cogent conversation when I'm absolutely hammered

Technically, or shall I say, 'Legally', it is against the law to consume alcohol on the job. So legally, patrons are buying their girls $20 shots of filtered tap water... In reality though, most girls find that they can't make it through a whole night without drinking SOMETHING... So, once mama gets to know you, you can request her to slip in real shots in -between the water shots, (she prepares all the shots for the girls). At first, I drank straight water. Then I requested 4 shots, then 6, and now I drink until I give her the sign to cut me off. I went from an occasional weekend drinker to a daily drinker in no time...

But of course, not all drinks can be faked! Vodka is easy, but the more expensive drinks are not. One night, I was done. Like DONE! I told mama to cut me off earlier and it was around 1:30am (almost closing time). This man walks in, makes a B line right for me and orders me a $120 Hennessy shot. Mama passes me it and I down it (mind you we were standing right at the bar, so even if she knew how to somehow fake it, she couldn't cus we were standing right there). As soon as I finish it and pass it back to her, he says "okay, now get her another one!" !!! I was shocked and a little worried because by that point I was thoroughly drunk. But mama is so slick. She poured the drink, looked at him, and SHE drank it "thank you!" She said.

"Mama?! What are you doing, that was for her!" "Ehh? I thought you say that one for me?! Anyway, no can! Last call already, we closing now".

So yeah, mama-san pulled a fast one and saved me from being utterly hammered that night. Always looking out for is girls...

Has your job impacted your dating life and social life? Do you find interacting with men who may be attracted to you that you've met outside of your work has changed since you got your job?

Well, I divorced from my husband a few months before starting here, and that fool has completely erased any longing I might have had for any type of relationship. So I'm not interested in having a Dating life at all. As for my social life, this job has BECOME that for me. I do things with my family in the daytime and on Sundays and I live it up at work in the evenings. It's like the best of both worlds for me because I can get whatever male attentions I need, in fact MORE than if I was in a traditional relationship, while I'm at work and with none of the emotional strings attached.

Outside of work, I do find my interactions with men have changed. This job has given me an amplified self-image, and has increased my confidence and sensuality, so I meet and interact with men outside of work as if they're totally into me and with a lot of flirting involved, hehehehee. I figure that when I meet someone (gotta be outside of work for sure), then I'll retire myself from this job in the meantime.

Hawaii has "buy me drinky girls"?

Hahahaha!! Yes!! The first time I told one of my cousins my new job she gasps "Whaaaat?!?! You're a buy me drinkie bitch?!" Hahahahahaha! It was so funny. Then she's like, "Oh my bad cousin, I didn't mean to offend you, that just came out". It's all good though. Call me whatever, like I said before, hyper-inflated ego, so it's not a thing to me. I thought it was funny.

favorite flavor of ice cream?

Outside of work, I'm pretty boring so: vanilla. Though a close runner up is Rocky Road.

Vanilla is not boring. I read somewhere that its the sum of all flavours mixed, that's why it feels so comforting. I would always prefer vanilla over anything else.

What?!?! You just blew my mind! I feel super special for loving vanilla now. Wow, that's a great fact. I can definitely use that somehow at work. I'll impress them with my random and interesting facts.

Ha ha, don't give that to a scientist, because it may be wrong. But another thing for you - humans tend to enjoy the most average of things. Read more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Averageness.

I owe you a drink. I am thoroughly entertained and intrigued by your random knowledge.

[NOTE: no sarcasm intended]

Errr...you do know even though you blocked out your face and name your license # allows people to find you. Might wanna re-do that.

I'm gonna take it down soon. I'm really not doing anything wrong on here though. The liquor commission can't use anything I say on here against me because it's just words on a screen; its not like they're catching me doing anything illegal. Besides they already know all the grimy stuff that goes on in these places anyways. It's no secret, and I take care to follow the law. The only thing I'm worried about is getting in trouble with Mama-san. But then again, it's not really THAT big a deal because: 1. I'm not planning on making this a long-term career, 2. There are thousands of other clubs just like this in Hawaii that I would have no trouble going someplace else and I'd even be able to bring my clientele with me, 3. My family already knows what I do and accept me 4. I'm such a successful Hostess and I produce so much money for the club that I would wager that, even if she DID find out, mama-san wouldn't fire me anyway...

But she would be mad though and I'd probably be on her shit list for a while. (Girls on mama's shit list sure as hell don't do as well per night as a favorite does).

When I was in Korea many of the clubs I went to had girls that would sit and talk to you if you bought them a $15 'drink'. It was really just some kind of juice in a fancy champagne glass. For $40 they would do more than talk

We have some girls who are under 21. For them, each and every drink is cranberry juice in a glass. That's why they're normally the ones who sneak liquor in...

What is a funny moment that you can remember?

Well there's a stage inside for exotic dancers. When it's really slow, either at the very start of the day (it opens at 2) or after hours, the dancers hold Stripper School for whoever is interested. It's good fun! And super hard work, I've got bruises all up and down my thighs and knees from practicing. But anyway yeah, one day around 3, no one was in yet so another girl and I, along with an experienced dancer were on stage learning. A man walks in and sees us there, he gets so into watching us that, on his way to the bar, he crashes into a chair, then falls into a table. It was hilarious, and very flattering as well:

Are there any types of bars where males are the hosts and females are the clients? Not in a i-hope-to-god-there-is-one-so-i-can-find-a-job-there sort of way, but more just for curiosity. Although, the former wouldn't be so bad haha.

In Japan Host bars are incredibly popular and the men there do extremely well through the patronage of wealthy women. There's a good documentary on it on Netflix called The Great Happiness Space. But here in Hawaii, you're not gonna find women to pay for that type of companionship when they can get it for free. There are host clubs here, but they're for male-male encounters...

Pretty cool topic! How much do you typically earn per week/month/whatever?

I know in a previous question you said you never get attached to clients, but people typically can't help who they fall for. For all the time you've been doing this, surely there's been at least one or two guys you've fallen for, could see yourself being with and wish you'd met in a different, perhaps more 'normal', scenario?

Thanks!

I get paid nightly in cash. Compensation is based on $20 intervals because each drink is a multiple of 20. For each $20 interval, I receive a chip like this. (This is why we say we get paid in pogs.) So for a $60 Lady's Choice drink, I'd get 3 pogs. Each chip is worth $14 (or 70% of the sale). At the end of the night we cash in our pogs to mama-san in exchange for cash. If a girl earns more than $100 a night, she is asked to "tip" 5% of her earnings to the house. Half of the tip goes to the manager, and the other half is split among the serving staff. I give this back eagerly and happily because I love the staff a management for making sure I have a safe, happy and comfortable workspace. All in all, I keep 65% of my sales and I'm very happy about this arrangement! To me it's like I'm getting paid in free money and I say so all the time.

There's a big range in what I bring in per night. It ranges anywhere from 35 to 110 pogs per night, or between $500 and $1500 per night. Since I'm successful at it, and since there is a limited time I can do this job, I push myseld to try to work 6 days a week. (I took today off though, I'm vacationing on another island right now...). So on average I bring home about $300,000 per year. It's an amazing job. It's great for me and great for the economy too because I manage to spend between $50 and $300 per day on random shit. (I've totally developed a shopping addiction since I started...

As for the feelings part. No. I've never met anyone I wanted to be romantically involved with, and even if I did, I would not pursue it. My ex-husband has really ruined any desire I could have for being in a relationship right now, so men lose before they even begin because my self-conscious auto-declines them on sight.

What type of person do you encounter at your job

I meet ALL SORTS. Rich investment babies, guys in import and export, car salesmen, business owners, nine to fivers, drug dealers, construction workers, accountants, artists, actors, really all sorts.

The strangest person that I encountered there though was this one man who looked legitimately looked like a bum. He looked so out of place that I was super curious and I went to sit with him. Out of nowhere he buys me a ladies choice drink, shoves $200 cash into my purse, and thanks me profusely for "being nice and coming to sit by him". The next day he comes back with a sushi dinner for me, a lei, and Starbucks coffee and again shoves $150 cash into my bag. The third day he comes back with more sushi. By this time I'm thinking that maybe he's some rich dude in disguise or something, but He says, "I can only buy you one drink tonight then I have to leave". "Ok", I said, "when are you coming back?"

"I can't come back till next month, I spent my whole Social Security Check on you already"...

It turns out this guy that appeared to be a bum, actually WAS one and he lives out of his car! I felt so bad that he gave me all his money, especially when he's homeless. A few minutes later I realized the reason WHY this guy is in the position he's in though...

I bet he had a lei for you.

Yeah, he leid me good

Not Hawaii, but did you read about the murder of Lucie Blackman if so how did it affect you?

I did hear about it when I first started working here. My thought was "Only 1 death?! Wow!". As bad as this may seem, reading about her actually made me feel secure. I thought that throughout all the countries, all the bars, all the girls, especially throughout so many YEARS... Seeing that there was only 1 death actually made me feel safer. It let me see that this is not THAT risky of a job. Bad, I know, but it's the truth.

We have a good staff that keeps the girls safe. Management calls all cars for the girls and escorts them out to the car each night. Rowdiness is rarely ever found at our place, but when it is, it's quickly removed. All in all, I work in a very safe work environment.

I'm sorry of this sounds rude but I just don't get the point of this at all. I go in, pay for your drinks and we talk. You're a good actor so I feel good about it, but I leave with absolutely nothing but an empty wallet. How is it fulfilling, describe your typical customer and what you think they get from it.

I have this one regular. His name is Lucky. He comes in almost every night, buys me a couple of $40 drinks and spreads it around and buys drinks for other girls too. He's an all-around fun guy to hang out with. He also brings gifts in like better alcohol to sneak to the girls (we're all sick of that cheap shit), cellphones, and Victoria's Secret Gift Cards. But on top of all that, he's also a generous tipper and pins bills in the straps of my clothes (it started at ones but I've since upgraded to fives). I asked him straight out "Why are you giving me more money?! You already bought my time with this drink! Plus you're cool to hang out with". His response was "Because I want to. It makes me happy to give you all my money! I go out and make it, then I spend it on you! Isn't it great?!"

So I guess that's the general answer. Men come out and feel good about spending it on a beautiful woman. They enjoy spending time with her and rewarding her with his wealth. These men like to display their wealth and status to us in order to impress us. I guess, when you have THAT MUCH money, the only thing you can do is find ways to spend it...

I know somebody like Lucky. He seems really laid back and chill, but he throws his money around to try and buy friends because he is insecure.

I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of your patrons really can't afford to throw their money away and are suffering for it, but are compelled to out of social or psychological issues.

Personally I find the business distasteful, but if they aren't throwing their money at you, they would probably be throwing it at someone else.

Lucky, I know for a fact CAN afford it, simply because he's in there nearly everyday. Wealthy men are are most frequent patrons, but we do get all sorts in there, and the kind you describe come in all the time. You can tell when that's the case.

Usually, they're pretty upfront with you "Hey, I just came here after work, was really stressed and wanted to relax. I don't have much, but I can afford to buy you two drinks..." These are the type of people I most enjoy sitting with because I know that my company means more to them, because to them, even though they're only buying $20 shots, to them, it costs more than the $300 champagne that Lucky buys.

There are also irresponsible people who blow their money like you mentioned. They only want to have the appearance of wealth when really, it's an illusion, I mentioned the bum who lives out of his car a couple of times on here who came in and blew his whole Social Security check. Also, last Saturday a man came in after being gone for 3 months. "Where you been?" mama-san asked him "actually, I've been unemployed for the last 3 months, but I'm back now!" He replies. He jumped right in and started offering me $60 drinks every 10 minutes, ordering the drinks before the waitress even made her rounds. After about an hour or so, he ordered a round of champagne. He handed the waitress $80 (the last remaining bills in his wallet) along with his credit card and told her to charge the rest. The card got declined! Still, he handed me the $80 in cash and left "to get more money"... At first there's guilt for the terrible financial situation these people are getting into, but then you realize "Okaaay, so THAT'S why his finances suck!l". Complete irresponsibility with the finances! So yeah, we get that sort too. But you can tell the difference pretty easily.

Sorry if this has been asked before, but if you were allowed to date your clients will you ever date one?

It hasn't been asked before. But no, I would never date anyone from there, for three reasons:

1. I wouldn't want to date anyone who throws away his money at places like this,

2. I'm here to make money so, if I dated someone, they would have access to my time for free, so it would take away from my business when they stop coming in to spend money on me,

3. I'm recently divorced and that has really left a bad taste in my mouth for relationships, so... I have no interest whatsoever of dating anyway.

But - There should be a thread buried in here somewhere though where I talk about a man who came in and blew all his money on me where I later found out that he was actually a bum living out of his car and they money he spent was in fact his whole Social Security Check for the month. Anyway, I felt a little bad for this old man, and I did really enjoy his company and had a great time with him. So I took my Aunty and cousin and met him one Sunday afternoon to sing karaoke together and eat together. That's the closest kind of encounter I've had to a date, and the only sort I'm interested in having.

At your first reason, are you genuinely happy with your job? are you successful in it? It is hard to assume you are when you see clients like that.

Working here is great fun and I really enjoy it BECAUSE I'm so successful at it. I realized how successful I am at it when two biker dudes came in one night. They were big stereotypical biker dudes with the leather jackets, goatees, tattoos and gruff demeanors. Seeing as I go for a more island natural look, (no obvious tattoos or piercings) I was hesitant to introduce myself because I assumed I wasn't their type. When one of them kept looking over at me though, I went over and sat down. His name was Shawn. I went through my general warm-up questions, one of which was "do you dance?". This biker man looked at me and gave me an expression that had "HELL NO, I'm not a goddamn pansy" written all over it. By the second drink we were having a great time. By the fourth drink, we were up at the juke box trying to find his favorite songs. And by the seventh drink, we were both dancing AND singing to some mariachi music in the middle of the club for the enjoyment of everyone else. When I looked up at Shawn, with his tattoos, leather jacket, biker glasses and bandanna... When I looked up at him with that huge happy grin on his face, smiling and singing and dancing the night away, clearly having a wonderful time... I looked at him and knew I was an amazing hostess.

But - There should be a thread buried in here somewhere though where I talk about a man who came in and blew all his money on me where I later found out that he was actually a bum living out of his car and they money he spent was in fact his whole Social Security Check for the month.

Here it is.

You're awesome

What made you choose this career? How long do you see yourself doing this? Thanks.

I answered an ad for some promotional modeling a while back. The club was doing some renovations, and is under new management so they wanted to showcase it with a marketing campaign (that's why I blacked out my photo in my "proof"). I came in for that and saw the potential and how things worked around there. I asked a lot of questions about hostessing and the manager caught the hint and offered me a position there. It's wonderful because I can come and go as I please. I'm not under any schedule or anything like that, I just come in whatever days and hours I want, and I get paid cash every night. I understand that there's a shelf life for this line of work, (I don't wanna end up like our resident Cambodian girl), also I'm already 25, so I figure I'll do this for a little longer while it's still fun. I have other professions set up already that I can fall back on when I'm done with this, so for now it's all about having fun and making bank.

This is one of my favorite AMA's. I found your answers and some other people's comments to be really interesting and informative. Thank you! Questions:

1. Have you had any clients who you believe you've helped to improve emotionally/psychologically over time through your conversations?

2. Have you had any clients who've become addicted to visiting you? By addicted I mean did you have any reason to believe their lives continually worsened over time because of needing to visiting you?

3. What's the best thing you learned from/about a customer? your job?

1- This is a very interesting question. I understand the way you're going with it, but I'm not sure that the answer I can give you is what you're looking for. See, people come in here for all sorts of reasons. Maybe because of boredom, loneliness, pain, intoxication, stress whatever. No matter the cause for them being there, the reason the come is to rid themselves of these problems.
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Once two young car salesmen came in. I sat to the bigger one, and across from us was his friend and a new girl (on her first night). She was this young blonde thing dressed in a catholic school girl outfit... (ya). She wasn't particularly beautiful, charming, or interesting, and to top that off, she disclosed to us that she'd just taken ecstasy, so she looked all strung out. (All in all it wasn't a great combination and she was basically there on a trial run by management to see how she would do.)
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Anyway, from my seat across the table, it was very clear that the man across from me was very troubled. He sat there with this glum look on his face, playing with his phone while this girl is jabbering away at him completely unaware. I whispered to my patron
"Awwww.. What's the matter with your friend tonight? He looks so down" He whispered back "Well, he just broke up with his girlfriend because she cheated on him. We just won a competition at work and I wanted to celebrate and cheer him up so we came here."
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By this time, the waitstaff came around to ask the gentlemen if they'd like to buy us a drink. Mine was into me so he agreed to mine. His friend however turned to the girl and said "Look, you're really beautiful and all, but you're just not my type..."
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Now the rules of the club are as follows. You meet the man, and warm up with him to see if you're compatibles. Waitstaff will come around and solicit a sale. If the man declines, you can choose to stick around for 5-10 low minutes, amp up the charm and try harder for the sale. If, however, the waitress comes around again and he STILL declines, you must excuse yourself and give another girl a shot to make the sale. In this place, you can't take rejection too harshly, because everybody has a type and for some people, you're just not it.
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So those are the rules, but in THIS case, he made it so obvious that he didn't want her company (normally patrons are more sensitive and aren't that blunt), that what she should have done is excuse herself immediately and recommend another girl instead. She stuck around. Whatever though, I forgave her for that since it was her first night. I figured she would wait around for the second no.
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"Do you have a girlfriend?" She asked him. "Yes" he grumbled back. "Do you love her? Like, is she ok that you're here?" (Mmmhmm, she did ask that) "...Ya" "I have a boyfriend too and I really love him" she gushed followed by more yada-yada-yada
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Waitstaff came around again. Mine ordered me a drink and this time the other man turned to the waitstaff, "Hey, I told this girl earlier that she's cute and all, but she's really Not My Type..". This time the girl turned beet red, but STILL DIDN'T EXCUSE HERSELF.
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After about 5 more minutes the man finally turned to his friend, "K, after this beer, lets go. I'm tired". <grim face again>, this guy had not cracked a single smile all night long! No WONDER he wanted to leave.
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Now I'M mad because now this girl is taking away from MY business, but I can't think of a way to graciously excuse her without coming off as rude. But then, at the PERFECT MOMENT, Candice walks through the door. This tall full-bodied woman, just oozing with gorgeousness from her silky rippling black hair, to her eyes veiled behind thick long lashes; her entire presence screamed of seduction and elegance. The other guys jaw just dropped and his neck craned to follow her walk along the room. Seeing my chance, I signaled for Candice to come over. When the new girl saw how the man's entire demeanor instantly changed, she finally got the hint and excused herself to "go to the bathroom" (never to return of course)...
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"Oh hey Candice" I said, "I just wanted to introduce you to my new friends! And I'm glad you came in just now or you would have missed them! They're leaving in a few minutes" <pout face>. "WHAT?!" The man jumped, "Leaving?! Who's leaving?! Nah, it's early, we're not going anywhere, come on, sit down!"
"Oh really?!" Candice exclaimed "I hope you're not just staying because of me. We wouldn't want your girlfriend getting mad because you're staying out too late you naughty one!" "Girlfriend? No... I don't have a girlfriend, we broke up a little while ago" "Awwww... Oh no! You poor thing" she crooned. "Nah, but I feel a lot better now" He beamed with a big beautiful smile all over his face..... .
So my guy looks at me and says, "see? THAT'S why I brought him here. Look. Suddenly he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore, suddenly he's not in a rush to leave. Look. He put his phone away and Look! He's laughing now... THAT'S why I brought him here..."
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So, the point of this story is that the proper hostess, paired with the right man, at the right time, can cure him of whatever is troubling him.... If only for the moment...

3- The best thing I've learned here is that there is a connection between all people. I've learned that I can find something either in common or of interest in even the most unlikely of people. It doesn't matter about a persons history or present or occupation or mistakes or anything really, whatever or whoever they are, we can find some common thread, some connection to eachother... and once we find that, we can feel something! Even with a perfect stranger, we can feel something, because we're all connected. Once we find that we can enjoy eachother's company and have a wonderful time!

2- I've had some customers who seem like they're addicted to me. I've had some come in day after day after day to see me until they they tell me on the last day that they've now spent every penny they had on me, I keep mentioning my bum dude, gotta find that thread. It's tragic to watch them put themselves Into these holes.
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There's others that come on a regular basis and become jealous when they see me sitting with someone else. In these cases some will try to make me jealous incredible with some other girl, then apologize profusely afterwards. .
Another man claims he needs to see me to satisfy his wife because prior to meeting me, he claims that "it didn't work" so he thinks I've cured his libido problems... .
Some are smart and try to protect themselves from these traps. One told me "I can never come back. Not while you're here. You make me feel these feelings inside. Then I look around and remember where I am. You're dangerous. You could break my heart."

How's the weather in Hawaii right now? I'm going up to Maui in a few weeks for a family reunion.

Maui weather is different from Oahu weather, and the islands each have different weather systems depending on the area, (eg. Dry, Chilly, Wet, Muggy, ect.). Generally though, the weather is great! (Which is probably why you planned the trip anyway right?)

But on Maui, try to stay either West or South. Those areas have the best beach vacation weather. Town is always muggy, yuck!

DO YOU WORK AT ALLEY CATS?!

That was the first time I have ever been motorboated by a 60 something lady...

Hahahahahha, no

I hope my question doesn't come across as rude, but are there women (younger women, not like the Cambodian lady) working with you who weren't blessed with the best looks but still manage to make a decent living in that area of service? Can they make up for perceived shortcomings by being particularly charming or dancing really well (also, are dancing skills a requirement)? I guess my main curiosity is if the beauty standards for hostesses are mainly media-based, or more open to different tastes (ie. hiring heavier girls, girls with larger noses than average, girls with shaved heads, etc..)

Yes! We have girls to suit every taste. We have a heavier set girl, she is absolutely stunning though, just looking at her you imagine she's some vintage era movie star or something, she just has that face; she makes a LOT of money though, she knows how since she's been in the business for so long..

A tiny little Asian thing with the figure of a child; she makes great money too because she fits into a certain "type" that a couple of our wealthier clients prefer.

There's this girl named Sugar, she's this bouncy little thing and all you notice at first is her mop of bouncy blonde curls and ginormous breasts, but she has such an innocent quality about her, and she's just so bubbly and fun and adorable, that she makes money too.

Also, there's another girl. When I first came in, she seemed pretty average. Pretty eyes and all, good figure, but you kind of just glance over her... Until she stepped onstage. She was the first dancer I'd ever seen and to this day I'm still mesmerized. What she does up there is just so elegant, so graceful, so fricken BEAUTIFUL, that you can never look at her the same again. She transformed into the most beautiful girl in there right before my eyes and she carries that around with her. She is hands down, the most successful girl in the place. No, dancing is not a requirement by any means, but I would never rule it out because it can do wonders for your career.

Long and short, we have girls to suit every taste. And all the girls do what they can to make sure that everybody makes money such as making introductions, tag-teaming, dance instruction, help with hair and stuff... It's a team effort. A mediocre girl just starting out can aim to make one to two hundred a night. That's still pretty damn good, and better than most entry-level jobs out there.

Are you ever afraid of becoming an alcoholic?

When I bust open a bottle of UV Pink Lemonade... On a Sunday... My day off... You're damned straight I do. It's a valid fear too because like I mentioned earlier, most girls can't cope with a full nights work without having a drink, so almost every girl is a daily drinker. Some even sneak in their own bottles because they aren't able to sell enough to quench their thirst fast enough. So yeah, I'm scared of that. Especially since alcohol does take a toll on the body. On the girls that have been there longer, it actually shows...

So wait, they do not pay for sex, just for company/conversation?

That makes me sad.

I mentioned earlier about some hostesses who due to disadvantages with either their age, attractiveness, length of service, language barrier, or whatever, will level the playing field by exchanging sexual acts for the more expensive level drinks. This is not condone by the club though as it is extremely illegal. This is at the discretion of the girl though and happens behind the scenes. There are girls who will go to extremes for the right amount of money. Typically though, men come out to impress the girls with their wealth. If and when they want that kind of company, they can call an escort service or a call girl somewhere...

Are all your customers male or do women frequent the club as well?

Women come in once and a while. Sometimes men bring in their girlfriends or wives, but it's rare. When it happens its pretty amazing though because they're good tippers and good fun. Two weeks ago a man brought in his coworker that he was having an affair with and they had a blast. Last week a man brought in 2 escorts with him on a date and gave them money to tip the girls in the bar. That guy bought 2 bottles of champagne for $1000 each. Occasionally lesbians come in to watch the dancers. They don't usually pay for hostesses though, just to hang out. The women who come in most frequently though are prostitutes accompanied by their pimps. These girls pose as escorts and go around trying to bedazzle the hostesses with false dreams of wealth and glamor to try and trick them into service with them. Once they get you they load you up on drugs and force you to work until theyre done with you. Mama-san forbids us to speak with them because of the bad things that have happened to other girls in the past. The manager saw one of them not too long ago looking all drugged out on a street corner in Waikiki...

Do you like Rainbow Drive-in? Have you ever seen Shakatalk/Beneath Everything Radio?

Don't know what that is. But if I do, I'll let you know.

By your replies, it sounds like you work at a whore house for children. Are you sure there is real alcohol in those drinks and not gummy berry juice? I've never heard of such a tame, well-behaved and innocent whore house. And based on your descriptions, it sounds like your patrons are "adult-children" who have mommy issues. But, you're obviously filling a need.

These conceptions of yours are why these types of establishments are not more widespread throughout the country and are only found in places with strong Japanese and Asian influences. It is not a whore house by any means though there are other places like that in Hawaii under the guise of "massage parlors". I understand that this concept is difficult to comprehend, especially if your cultural upbringing was mostly Western. That's precisely the reason I'm holding this AMA.

I'm speaking to you now via the internet you owe me $20 for the pleasure , when do i collect my $20 ?

I'm not particularly interested in your company seeing as you haven't don't much to impress or interest me so, maybe I'll buy you a drink at another time... Also, even if I DID buy you a drink, you would earn a Commission on it, not the full $20 so, if I DID end up wanting to buy your company you would get $14 per $20 interval, aka 70%...

Well you are still talking to me, that will be another $20 thanks You know know how impressive i am until you buy my drink.

/sarcasm

The point being that this just feels very exploitative of people that lonely.

I used to feel bad about it when I first started. If it's just fun, then fine whatever. But I did have a hard time when my patrons started developing feelings for me because it felt like I was playing with their emotions. But then I realized that for one, we are all adults. I never solicit for drinks, and I'm never pushy. They buy me drinks because they want to enjoy my company. They spend their money on me because they want to spend time with me. They do it because they can and they want to. They know what kind of place this is when they walk through the door. So now, I have no guilt about it. I will take their money and spend it all without an ounce of guilt about it.