I am the CondAm man, founder of the Condom Ambulance! AMA

What is the craziest "emergency" you have encountered?

Edit: Craziest not crazies

Five people in a room. All partially naked. Shit was about to go down.

The best part? There was only one guy.

"Im here for the orgy"

"I'm here to kick ass and sell condoms...

...and I'm all out of condoms."

Why the siren? Is it just for publicity's sake?

There's hilarity in how serious I take myself. Some people immediately see the siren and go "WOW, WHAT A NERD". No, they're missing the joke. I wanted it to make it sort of a novelty so that people ordered for the experience as well as the contraceptives.

Have you been in a situation where a girl (or girls) call you up to deliver condoms and they want to sleep with you?

No haha. Which is surprising now that I think about it... I'm quite studly.

What happens if you're in class and you get called up?

I slip out and do a superman-esque change in the bathroom where I don "The Helmet" and put on the sunglasses, then I run to make the delivery. I'm like the Clark Kent of condoms.

Yes, I like that.

http://i.imgur.com/l43pHCF.jpg

This is absolutely fantastic.

Have your grades been affected by this in any way? Also, thanks for doing this AMA!

Nope! All the press lately has been superrrrrr stressful though (for example, I'm going to be interviewed live on Good Day New York tomorrow and the Daily Show with Jon Stewart just picked up my story). Just knowing I have to go on live tv and waiting for it is absolute torture. Otherwise, it's not too bad.

I am surprised trojan hasn't contacted you and asked you to wear THE TROJAN MAN costume while you deliver.

If they buy the company from me... I'll wear whatever the hell they tell me to.

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Email me! Start a CondAm branch! [email protected]

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Enough to buy more product, but I'm not making profit. At this point at least. I have to pay lawyer fees, registration fees, copyright & trademark fees. That's kind of to be expected with a start up like this though. Kinda sucks, but I still get to help people!

And not really. There are enough orders to keep me on my toes, but not enough that I can't balance my friends and girlfriend!

Lawyer fees? For what?

When you're dealing with contraceptives there are always liabilites. If someone gets pregnant or sick, I might've been liable. My lawyer and I set up a LLC though so we're protected now! Shit ain't cheap though...

You live in the dorms, right? What's going to happen when you graduate? Do you think this is something sustainable or just something to do while you're at school?

I got two more years left of (hopeful) growth for the business! I can only hope that by the time I graduate, it will be a full fledged corporation, in and outside of TCNJ. But I need people who want to start CondAm franchises of their own if this is going to work! :D

This post right here, this will be used to get past the corporate veil and into your assets :/

What?

What was your strangest delivery?

I delivered to a frat that was all black guys and when I got there they were sooo excited to get these condoms. They were pretty much fighting over them, chasing each other around. I threw a ton of free condoms at them and they went nuts. The guy who paid actually forgot to get his debit card back from me. They were like tweens and I was their Justin Bieber.

I've never felt so loved.

Ever have people show up to the door naked or close to it?

Partially naked! Haven't seen any "goods"... for lack of a better word haha.

What does campus health or health services in the area think of you?

The college refuses to acknowledge my existence, even though I'm getting them A TON of international publicity. It makes me sad actually.

Ah TCNJ! So close (kind of ) to home! I'm so intrigued by this. How many orders to you get in the weekend?

It really varies. It can range anywhere from 5 to 15 or 20. It's quite sporadic actually... They must be putting something in the food.

Do you have a online order option, or do you do all orders over the phone?

Yes! People can order online, through our website, or they can call or text their order! Most people choose to fill out the online form.

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I call and confirm each legitimate order after I recieve it!

Isn't it illegal to essentially, re-sell condoms? How does that work, like where do you get your supply?

I have deals worked out with Trojan, Lifestyle, and Glyde. They know I'm selling them, so I assume it's alright haha. It helped my credibility after I got publicity from ABC back in December. Trojan actually just offered me educational pricing, so that process took a little longer... It was well worth it though.

How many fake orders have you gotten from the story AP ran on you?

Edit: And how do you deal with fake orders anyway? I imagine it must suck getting woken up at 5am.

Filtering legitimate student ids from illegitimate ones! It keeps down on the nonsense!

Do people really order all those flavored condoms you have, for example the Cola flavor?

Yup! Glyde makes really great condoms but no one ever orders them :(. I think one day I'm going to have a taste testing party. That should do it.

Do you make all deliveries yourself?

Are you often woken up at 3-4am to make a run?

Yes! My roommate will do some if I'm not there, but I'm sort of the flagship proprietor I guess. And occasionally! I'm usually up during those times so it's not really a problem. I have this site to thank for that.

Oh reddit. You hurt so good.

What is your average delivery time?

How far do you run/walk each day doing deliveries?

PS I'm jealous of the murals in your dorm hallways.

During express hours, I always make the five minute guarantee. Always.

The furthest dorm is about six or seven hundred yards away from my dorm, which is located in the center of campus. Easy.

Thanks mang. The building I lived in freshmen year has since been refinished :(.

Ever delivered to an orgy?

This needs to get answered.

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/18jgp9/i_am_the_condam_man_founder_of_the_condom/c8fbof4

I think this will suffice.

Thanks!

You got it, stud ;).

So people call to order condoms? Who in college doesn't have condoms? They're practically free all over my campus.

Sorry the links aren't coming up on my phone for some reason...

Would this business work in a place like Florida where its not really cold?

The free ones are the ones no one wants to use. They sit in the back of your drawer and rot. I sell Trojans, 24 hours a day when everything else is closed!

Definitely! Possibly more so. Here's my logic.

Hotter climate > Less clothes > More visible skin > More lusty coeds > Yes > YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

If you want to bring a CondAm branch to your university, email me!

Franchises?!

Email me if you'd like to start one in your university!

[email protected]

What's your major?

Interactive Multimedia!

That's really cool man. Your order site looks great by the way!

Thank you shitcicle :].

We worked on it for a while before it was perfected. At the end of the day, we realized people just want their condoms, so that's why there's really only one big button.

we should talk

Hola.

Shouldn't today be one of your busiest days?

Tonight sir ;). Everyone has class during the day.

What's the strangest delivery you've had?

Have you ever been invited in?

Answered below.

And no. I like to keep business and pleasure separate ;). Even though my business is pleasure... hmm. Gonna have to rethink that one.

• A genius idea!

• There seems to be somewhat of a "check out this guy! he's about to get laid" aura, is that part of the reason for the ambulance light? Obviously it fits with the condom ambulance theme.

• How far do you deliver?

• Any ideas on expanding the business?

Thanks for the AMA!

Yes! I wanted to approach it like a health service. I want people to take it seriously but there's also a comedic element to how serious it appears though.

All over campus!

Yesssss. I want to expand to as many campuses as possible and serve as the main distributor to them. But I need people who want to help (since you don't have to pay all the legal and other fees I had to, it would be much easier for people to create a CondAm franchise under me. Just shoot me an email if you're interested!)

How much more do you mark up your condoms? Have you recruited any other employees since business started picking up?

Only slightly. I'm not a nonprofit, nor do I claim to be.

No, I don't make enough money to hire other people ;_;

But do you make enough to pay your college fees?

I make enough to make my college fees even worse.

tldr; I'm in debt (that's why people should email me about creating their own branch of CondAm at their university, then you can make money and not be in debt like me!)

tldr2; The first tldr was longer than the actual text it was describing :(

(1) Okay, so I couldn't quite tell from your video - do you only take cash, or do you also take cards? Seeing as a lot of the orders get placed online I'm just assuming a lot of people would prefer to pay credit card over cash.

(2) What do you think about a tab or points system, someone who is a verified customer with a login/pass that can have money ready in their account and can just click 'the usual' or '5 of whatever' or whatnot and just progress through the menu much more quickly, without (presumably) as many steps? (ooh saved locations and quick sending of location pins could play in well here..)

(3) What percentage of prank orders or people messing around with you do or have you so far ended up weeding out in your verification calls?

(4) does it get awkward or more awesome if a friend orders from you? (4b) what about if a person you're interested in orders from you?

(5) has anyone not a student (teacher/staff/random people) bought from you? is that even allowed?

We accept cash, credit, and debit. Technological!

We were talking about customer logins, but figured most people wouldn't bother. It's always a possibility though.

Most.

No, not at all. I try to make everyone feel as comfortable as possible. I know their situation and I sympathize with them. I just try to stress that I'm here to help them and that they're not the only one in this conundrum.

Not yet. It definitely is allowed though, just not common. I'm a registered L.L.C. and I get educational distributor prices from Trojan, Lifestyle, and Glyde, so I'm pretty much like a Walgreens or a CVS, except all educational.

That's pretty rad! Thanks for answering.

Clarification of #3 - about percentage of pranks. I was interested what the ratio of real orders vs fake orders are, not your success rate in weeding out said calls, which is I'd like to think what you answered 'most' to...

and very interesting that you are allowed to distribute to non students as well! you could certainly advertise at local bars........

Oh yea. We weed out most. Thanks for clearing that up.

And I'm not 21 yet! Maybe, but I'll figure that out when the time comes haha.

You still didn't answer him.

Thank you for making me realise this. It's been a long day lol.

98 legit/2 prank usually 2 legit/98 prank since it's gotten popular on reddit.

Doesn't this cut into your personal life? When/how do you sleep?

Somewhat. It's not too bad though! I still make time for my friends and the girlfriend! And of course, I have another job. A "real" job, for lack of a better term haha.

And I catch up on sleep on the weekends (specifically Saturday)!

You have given me an idea, as I have a reliable vehicle and live about 10, 15 minutes tops from a major college town... Hmm. I know a way to get crap tons of condoms for basically free, as well.

How long have you been at this? Have you encountered any problems or resistance from the college, or is everyone in agreement that this is a good idea? Glad you're helping people out who might otherwise take unnecessary risks with their health.

You'll have to get a lawyer and protect yourself from legal claims, ect. It'd probably be easier to become a branch of CondAm! Message me if you'd like to work something out.

I got dem deals mang.

Do you deliver other goods like lube?

Not yet. I was considering lube, but after asking a sample group, not too many use it apparently.

What's your usual turnaround time on an order? Like....how "Emergency" is your service?

5 minutes or less! Always!

I gotta come over and see you in action. You're helping people and for some immature reason I find it hilarious, especially the police light on the helmet.

That's the point!

Making TCNJ famous! I almost went there to swim, sometimes I wish I did end up going there...

It's fabuloussss!

How do you get into other dorms so easily? I know a lot of campuses won't let anyone into a dorm block they don't live in after a certain time or who isn't with someone who lives there.

Everyone can scan into buildings at all times of the day. However, there are desk attendants that check id's between 8pm and 2am. If they don't let me past (depends on the attendant and how well I know them) then I call the customer and they run down really quickly and grab the goods!

You were just on Vsauce!

I don't know what that is. Point me in that direction!

You're an absolute genius! and just a thought, how many condoms do you keep in your "supply" at a time?

I have a few thousand in my room right now!

Oh, I saw your post ages ago; you were asking about a logo design. Didn't realize you were a Jersey guy, hey! Warren County here.

Yup! Hey I know warren! A bunch of my friends live there. Mount bethell road!

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Really like that slogan. Might use that if you don't mind.

hi kyle ily baby - jared

i think im supposed to ask a question so i'm here to ask you if you can deliver me some condoms

If you weren't underage.

heyyyy buddy having fun at work?

Also if you dont answer this, its on mother fucker! relentless pranks at ardsley

Hi Sean