I was raised by deaf parents, AMA

Do you bother to turn down the volume when you watch porn?

Yes I have 2 hearing brothers and a grandma in the house.

When you were a child, or baby rather, how did you parents know if you were in need of something (crying wouldn't have done anything), were they always having you in plain sight so they could actually see you?

My grandma lives with us that helped. but my mom is extremely observant and kept me in view constantly

Is it true that deaf couples have louder than usual sex?

I honestly don't know, they probably do though considering they can't hear themselves grunt and moan or what have you.

Dit it take you more time than others kids to learn how to speak ?

Not for me, I started talking at 8 months old and wouldn't shut the Fuck up. But my younger brother couldn't communicate in the dark and my older brother didn't speak till he was 2 and in preschool insisted he too was deaf

... my younger brother couldn't communicate in the dark ...

Could you elaborate on that?

He associated speaking with looking and if he couldn't see your face he just didn't realize you could still communicate without watching someone's hands and face

I too am a Coda, raised in remote Nebraska, so I knew from an early age my folks were different. Did you ever feel as though you were merely your parents' interpretor growing up or were you encouraged to be more independent?

I was definitely an interpreter. My dads also from Puerto Rico and has issues even with asl. I remember talking to cops when pulled over when I was in 1st grade

Whoa. I'm also a Coda and my dad is from Puerto Rico...Are you my sister?

Probably.

Do you often tell them to fuck off when you know they can't read your lips?

Yes and my mom has this issue where if I talk in front of her and she doesn't see my face I'm automatically talking shit about her so.sometimes I walk by, turn my head and say potato salad or something, and she'll be like "hey I know you cursed at me!"

I am equipped with funny stories

can we hear one?

One time my family went to the ripleys aquarium and the entire time she kept telling us to keep quiet and just look. Before we left we had to sit quietly with my grandma for a while. I found out my mom went to the manager and explained that we were all deaf and it was an audio tour and she felt it was not fair that her children didn't enjoy the same experience as everyone else and she got all her money back. My moms a schemer.

One time my family went to the ripleys aquarium and the entire time she kept telling us to keep quiet and just look. Before we left we had to sit quietly with my grandma for a while. I found out my mom went to the manager and explained that we were all deaf and it was an audio tour and she felt it was not fair that her children didn't enjoy the same experience as everyone else and she got all her money back. My moms a schemer.

One time my family went to the ripleys aquarium and the entire time she kept telling us to keep quiet and just look. Before we left we had to sit quietly with my grandma for a while. I found out my mom went to the manager and explained that we were all deaf and it was an audio tour and she felt it was not fair that her children didn't enjoy the same experience as everyone else and she got all her money back. My moms a schemer.

Sorry I posted that 3 times my phone is stupid.

How do you convey tonal inflection,such as sarcasm, in ASL?

It's all in the eyebrows.

I knew a girl who had deaf parents and she got a lot of shit for it. Did this happen to you and if so how did you deal with it?

P.S. Children are cruel.

Not really people just asked me things like why am I not deaf, how do they drive, do they have mental issues too, stuff like that.

I had a deaf girl in my driver's ed class in high school. The teacher was ancient (over 70) and had been teaching driver's ed for over 40 years. Anyway we're doing the chapter on what to do if you hear a siren coming. He starts talking about it, looks at the deaf girl, realizes he's been using the words "hear" and "listen" a lot... pauses for a minute, looks at her ASL translator, then continues using the exact same phrasing. I think he'd been teaching the same course so long that he didn't even know how to rephrase his lesson. After class he goes up to the deaf girl and says "Since you won't be able to hear the sirens, you'll just have to listen extra hard for them".

Wowwww. It's like when people scream at someone that can't speak English. It's not gonna all of the sudden be able to.hear you if you're loud as shit.

How do they talk when they drive ?

They drive with their knees or forearms its terrifying.

A friend of mine was getting bitched at by a teacher when the teacher said, "You're going to be in big trouble when I talk to your parents." He replied, "You can't talk to my parents." "What do you mean I can't talk to your parents?" "They're deaf." And the teacher lost her shit and left the classroom.

Has this ever happened to you?

Sort of. This reminds me what I tell people when they ask if I can speak sign language. No one can speak sign language.

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She screams, its not pleasant.

I just this week started an ASL class at my university. As a hearing individual whose known ASL his whole life, any tips for learning to sign, or any general advice for when communicating?

Make deaf friends. Keep eye contact. Always sign when you speak if possible, even when you address a hearing person in front of the deaf person. If not its considered extremely rude.

What was it like as a kid, as far not understanding why/realizing everyones elses parents could hear. I was in a military family and i always thought it was strange when peoples parents werent in the military. Is this similar. Also whats the best part?

For a while I thought everyone's parents were like mine. Till hit preschool and met teachers. For me the best part was having what i felt like was my own secret language.

Is there anything that to this day you feel like you missed out on, or are unable to do as well as other people because of your upbringing?

On the reverse, is there an incredibly unique experience, skill, or trait that you think you acquired as a result that other people are missing out on? (I assume you know sign language, so not counting that)

I feel like I grew up faster. I had to be able to have adult conversations as young as 6 years old. I consider that a good and bad thing. Skills: I have amazing eye contact, I tell a story really well because I basically perform it whether I'm signing or not. And I can read lips pretty well too.

Do you absent-mindedly start signing when you talk with non-deaf people?

No but my grandma does it all the time. It's hilarious, I love it.

One of my best friends growing up had deaf parents. We used to take advantage of it because we could get away with just about anything. Looking back, we were total shitheads and I feel kind of bad. Did you ever take advantage of your parents disability just to be a dick?

To an extent. I talked about things they'd be pissed about with my friends in front of them, I still do actually. But never negatively. When I was young I don't think it even occurred to me I could take advantage of it.

In Minnesota the deaf community is a really loving group of people (mind you it's a huge group of people), everyone is so open to "outsiders" and even CODA's seem to be treated as an equal. Is this the same for you? Did your parents ever involve themselves in the deaf community and include you and your siblings too? Is there even a set deaf community where you live where they have events and gatherings together?

I'm obsessed with ASL, I want to be fluent so bad, but alas I don't have any deaf friends or family near, the only person I communicate with is my ASL teacher from HS and we only meet up maybe 2-3x a year now :'(

Deaf video chatrooms. It's such a strong tight community and yes my mom is heavily involved. She does social work with young abused deaf girls.

How did your parents meet? It seems interesting that they're both deaf and got married.

Just a mutual friend nothing too crazy

Has the explosion of mobile texting helped significantly in communicating with your parents? What was the introduction of that like?

Good and bad. It was cool at first, and made things way easier. But now my mom texts me every time a thought enters her head.

I had a friend in high school who had deaf parents, his dad would pick us up at school to go swimming and his dad would have AC/DC blaring on the car stereo, not sure why, maybe he liked the beat. Everyone was always impressed with how cool his dad was.

Sounds a lot like my dad except with NWA instead of ACDC. Acronyms are fun.

Do people tell you that you talk loud? I had a friend who's a CODA and my god I could hear him from the next state. I always wondered if this was a common thing.

Yes, especially when im excited about something. I need to work on that. My dad is the loudest deaf person I've ever met. I get it from him.

Are you fluent in ASL?

Or, should I say: Nice meet you! My name what? Sarah. You sign?

Yes me B-R-A-N-D-Y nice meet you

Fellow CODA here. I was raised by a deaf single mother who had undergone intensive speech therapy as a child and is a very skilled lip reader. It's because of this that she could hold a normal job and support her family, something she claims alienated her from the deaf community because she "wasn't deaf enough" and didn't engross herself fully in deaf culture.

Everything I know about the deaf community is hearsay from my mother, but does that kind of exclusive mindset really exist?

Yes, a lot of deaf people have an us vs them mentality. It's sad, but not everyone is like that. My mom too had a lot of speech therapy which made some things easier but shes extremely self conscious about it.

and not so funny stories

Can you tell us one?

People talk shit about my dad at work so much. They take advantage of him. He's extremely smart and hard working and does a lot for people, and all my life people were always calling him retarded and stuff like that.

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You have no idea.

What is the Most comical moment to ever occur with your family? Does not need to be deaf-related.

Last year on thanksgiving my mom and dad tried to play a prank where they put a chicken in the turkey like it was pregnant or something. They were freaking out and laughing like they had gotten us so good. And my brothers and I just sat there discussing how turkeys lay eggs. Kind of funny... I couldn't think of anything.