I will answer every single motherfucking question asked to me. AMA

• What was the happiest moment of your life? The saddest?
• Who was the most important person in your life? Can you tell me about him or her?
• Who has been the biggest influence on your life? What lessons did that person teach you?
• Who has been the kindest to you in your life?
• It’s been said that after they pass away, the most important people in our lives “live within us.” Is there anyone from your past that lives within you?
• What are the most important lessons you’ve learned in life?
• What is your earliest memory?
• Are there any words of wisdom you’d like to pass along to me?
• What are you proudest of in your life?
• When in life have you felt most alone?
• How has your life been different than what you’d imagined?
• How would you like to be remembered?
• Do you have any regrets?
• What does your future hold?
• Is there anything that you’ve never told me but want to tell me now?
• Is there something about me that you’ve always wanted to know but have never asked?
• If you could interview anyone from your life living or dead, but not a celebrity, who would it be and why?
• What is your first memory of me?
• Was there a time when you didn’t like me?
• What makes us such good friends?
• How would you describe me? How would you describe yourself?
• Where will we be in 10 years? 20 years?
• Do you think we’ll ever lose touch with each other?
• Is there anything that you’ve always wanted to tell me but haven’t?
• Where did you grow up?
• What was your childhood like?
• Who were your favorite relatives?
• Do you remember any of the stories they used to tell you?
• How did you and grandma/grandpa meet?
• What was my mom/dad like growing up?
• Do you remember any songs that you used to sing to her/him? Can you sing them now?
• Was she/he well-behaved?
• What is the worst thing she/he ever did?
• What were your grandparents like?
• How would you like to be remembered?
• Are you proud of me?
• When did you first find out that you’d be a parent? How did you feel?
• Can you describe the moment when you saw your child for the first time?
• How has being a parent changed you?
• What are your dreams for your children?
• Do you remember when your last child left home for good?
• Do you have any favorite stories about your kids?
• Are you proud of me?
• When and where were you born?
• What was it like?
• Who were your parents?
• What were your parents like?
• How was your relationship with your parents?
• Did you get into trouble? What was the worst thing you did?
• Do you have any siblings? What were they like growing up?
• What did you look like?
• How would you describe yourself as a child? Were you happy?
• What is your best memory of childhood? Worst?
• Did you have a nickname? How’d you get it?
• Who were your best friends? What were they like?
• How would you describe a perfect day when you were young?
• What did you think your life would be like when you were older?
• Do you have any favorite stories from your childhood?
• Did you enjoy school?
• What kind of student were you?
• What would you do for fun?
• How would your classmates remember you?
• Are you still friends with anyone from that time in your life?
• What are your best memories of grade school/high school/college/graduate school? Worst memories?
• Was there a teacher or teachers who had a particularly strong influence on your life? Tell me about them.
• Do you have any favorite stories from school?
• Do you have a love of your life?
• When did you first fall in love?
• Can you tell me about your first kiss?
• What was your first serious relationship?
• Do you believe in love at first sight?
• Do you ever think about previous lovers?
• What lessons have you learned from your relationships?
• How did you meet your husband/wife?
• How did you know he/she was “the one”?
• How did you propose?
• What were the best times? The most difficult times?
• Did you ever think of getting divorced?
• Did you ever get divorced? Can you tell me about it?
• What advice do you have for young couples?
• Do you have any favorite stories from your marriage or about your husband/wife?
• What do you do for a living?
• Tell me about how you got into your line of work.
• Do you like your job?
• What did you think you were going to be when you grew up?
• What did you want to be when you grew up?
• What lessons has your work life taught you?
• If you could do anything now, what would you do? Why?
• Do you plan on retiring? If so, when? How do you feel about it?
• Do you have any favorite stories from your work life?
• Can you tell me about your religious beliefs/spiritual beliefs? What is your religion?
• Have you experienced any miracles?
• What was the most profound spiritual moment of your life?
• Do you believe in God?
• Do you believe in the after-life? What do you think it will be like?
• If you were to meet a God, what would you say to them?
• Can you tell me about your illness?
• Do you think about dying? Are you scared?
• How do you imagine your death?
• Do you look at your life differently now than before you were diagnosed?
• Do you have any last wishes?
• If you were to give advice to me or my children, or even children to come in our family, what would it be?
• What have you learned from life? The most important things?
• Has this illness changed you? What have you learned?
• How do you want to be remembered?
• What is your ethnic background?
• Where is your mom’s family from? Where is your dad’s family from?
• Have you ever been there? What was that experience like?
• What traditions have been passed down in your family?
• Who were your favorite relatives?
• Do you remember any of the stories they used to tell you?
• What are the classic family stories? Jokes? Songs?
• Were you in the military?
• Did you go to war? What was it like?
• How did war change you?
• During your service, can you recall times when you were afraid?
• What are your strongest memories from your time in the military?
• What lessons did you learn from this time in your life?

Edit: Feel free to anonymize everything.

Edit2: Removed duplicate questions.

FUCK YOU I'M NOT EDITING THIS. Happiest: any of the times where I played with my dog(s). Saddest: my dog(s) dying. Cliche, but my parents are the most important people. They essentially made me into the person I am today with their examples and lessons. See the other answer. * My best friend. * I’d like to think my dogs do. * Try things, even when you’re afraid. * Going to a fair with my parents and receiving a stuffed frog. * Don’t be stupid. * Getting into the college I’m going to. * When one of my best friends stole the guy I was seeing. * Well I’m not an astronaut-lawyer-ballerina-superhero... * As intelligent and kind. * Of course, who doesn’t? * Undergrad and then law school. * No because I don’t know you. * No because I don’t know you. * Already answered: but David Tennant because he is amazing. * When you posted on my AMA. * Yes because you posted so many questions. * We’re not, I don’t know you! * A redditor, and a redditor. * I don’t know you, I don’t know you. * Yes. * No. * The midwest. * Awesome. * My aunt and uncle. * yes. * really? I am not a grandmother * I have no idea. * No. Because I am not your grandparent. * Maybe. * I don’t know * Cool. * Not quite as cool. * Intelligent and kind. * Not particularly. * I am not a parent. * No. * I am not a parent. * I am not a parent. * I am not a parent. * I am not a parent. * No, I’ve never seen you. * I didn’t. * I don’t know. * No. * I don’t know. I don’t know * I’m not your parent. * Be smart. * I don’t have any. * I didn’t. * No. * Florida, 1993 * The Midwest. * Awesome. * People. * Awesome. * Pretty good, some arguments. * I stole someone’s bracelet (and got in trouble) * Nope. * idk. * Happy. Yes. * Ice cream. Dropping my ice cream. * Yes, my parents made it up. * Girls at my school. They were cool. * School, recess, more school, going to my friend’s house and playing. * Pretty much like this. * Nope. * Mostly. * On the upper side of average. * Go out. * Lol probably annoying and argumentative. * Yes, because it’s still happening. * Best memories: friends. Worst memories: drama. * My english teacher was an awesome guy. * Not really, our school prank was putting glitter everywhere. * Nope. * I didn’t. * I was 16 and standing on my doorstep. * The first-kiss one. * nope. * yep. * be vocal about what you want from the relationship. * I haven’t. * I don’t. * I didn’t. * Best times: summertimes. Worst times: finals. * I’m not married. * nope. * don’t be stupid. * nope. * student. * don’t have one; * A lawyer. * A lawyer. * I don’t have one. * Eat some pizza. Because I’m hungry. * Yes, when I’m old. * Nope. * I’m an atheist. * no. * none. * no. * no. it won’t be like anything. * nothing, because I won’t. * I’m not ill. * Yes, and yes. * Far far away. * No. * Yes. * I wasn’t diagnosed. * No. * DON’T FUCKING GIVE PEOPLE 800000000 stupid QUESTIONS TO ANSWER. * Don’t be scared of stupid stuff. * I’m not fucking ill. * As intelligent and kind * Europeans. * Germany, Germany. * Nope. * German ones. * My aunt and uncle. * Yes. * My dad and his brothers pulling pranks. * No. * No. * It didn’t. * No. * None. * I wasn’t in the fucking military.

Let's take a moment, folks, and make sure we're asking the important questions:

WOULD YOU RATHER SLOWLY ACCUMULATE TINY FERRETS IN YOUR POCKETS OVER THE COURSE OF EVERY DAY, OR HAVE BIRD TALONS FOR HANDS?

TINY FERRETS. THAT'D BE SICK.

Will you marry me?

Nope, sorry :'(

For the love of god I never see AMAs answer this one:

How. Much. Money. Do. You. Make?

$0. I'm unemployed, sorry.

極光到底是甚麼？它與太陽活動有關嗎？ 海市蜃樓是甚麼？它是如何形成的？ 為甚麼在月全蝕時，月球看起來是紅色的？ 綠色的太陽真的存在嗎？ 雷電是甚麼？它是如何形成的？ 甚麼是球狀閃電？它和普通的閃電有甚麼不同？ 為甚麼聲音在晚上可以傳得較遠？是因為晚上較日間寧靜嗎？ 為甚麼在「順風」時會較易聽到遠處的聲音？而在「逆風」時聲音會變得微弱？ 為甚麼晴天時天空是藍色的？為甚麼夕陽是紅色的？ 為甚麼會有彩虹？「霓」和「虹」有甚麼分別？ 為什麼油上會有像彩虹般的顏色呢？ 為甚麼湖水結冰總是從湖面開始的呢？這種現象對魚類有甚麼影響呢？ 為甚麼在高山上的溫度卻比地面低呢？ 為甚麼黑板也會反光？為甚麼我們很難看到反光黑板上的文字？ 為甚麼每天會出現兩次潮漲，兩次潮退﹖ 石英錶如何運作？如何分辨石英錶和機械錶？ 范德格拉夫起電機如何運作？它有甚麼應用？ 為甚麼開氏滴水發電機可以產生靜電呢？ 光纖是甚麼？它怎樣傳遞訊息？ 什麼是液晶體膠膜？為何液晶體膠膜接觸熱的物件後會出現多種顏色？ 為甚麼形狀記憶合金會那麼神奇的呢？ 甚麼是壓電？壓電在日常生活中有甚麼應用？ 為甚麼鋼筋和混凝土要一起使用呢？它們有甚麼特性呢？ 為甚麼這隻玩具小鳥不需要外來的動力，卻可以做出週而復始的飲水動作呢？ 為甚麼這些扇葉受光時會轉動？ 為甚麼隱形戰機可以隱形？ 向著雞蛋衝水，為甚麼會使雞蛋浮起來呢？ 為甚麼直昇機可以在天空上飛？為甚麼要有一個垂直的尾翼？ 煙霧探測器如何幫助我們及早發現火警？ 為甚麼電飯煲在飯熟的時候能夠自動停止煮飯？ 吸音板的原理是怎樣的？為何下雪之夜大地十分寧靜？

An aurora is a fancy light show in the sky that appears when the atmosphere is thin (as far as I know). I don’t know how it’s related to the sun’s movement.

A mirage appears in flat, hot places like deserts as an illusion, caused by heat waves (I think).

Because our shadow is blocking it. Note: even I don’t think that one is right.

Maybe.

Clouds hit each other causing an impact that makes sound and emits electronic energy. My science is very questionable on these, but I like making it up.

Ball shaped lightning is regular lightning in ball-form.

I didn’t know it did!

Uh... because magic.

Because the atmosphere.

Because the sun.

Because when the sun hits moisture in the air, it creates them.

A rainbow is in a full arch shape.

Because oil is magic.

The surface has a different density? Fish get stuck.

They are farther from the earth’s core.

I have never seen a blackboard reflect light.

See previous answer.

Because the moon.

I have no idea.

Ooh, I learned this! Something about chemistry...

By dropping water.

very tiny glass threads. I don’t know how they work.

I don’t know. This is making me feel stupid.

That they can remember shapes.

I don’t know.

They’re both... very strong...

The water brings it’s center of gravity to a different location.

I wasn’t aware that they did spin when exposed. So I don’t know.

Magic.

it is less dense.

The propellor lifts it. To keep it upright.

They detect smoke and are loud.

Because it has a setting that makes it stop.

Magic.

More magic.

...I am a very scientific person, in case you guys didn’t know.

A spastic horse with cerebellar hypoplasia breaks into your home and threatens your family. You've stubbed your toes and twisted your left ankle, the phone is ringing - what do you do?

Answer the phone, tell the horse "it's for you!" and then tranquilize it while it's distracted.

.

I am not qualified to answer this as I have never tried or discussed these things with her.

.

Clever! :p

really?

yes.

Motherfucker!!! ok its on. What is your favorite type of Asian food? Have you heard the joke that had a horse, a duck and a raper? Also, why the fuck do you people like Nuttela so much?

I like pad thai. Though is Indian counts, I'll go with that. I have not heard that joke! Because nutella is fucking delicious crack in a jar.

Would you rather be pregnant with a bowling ball (and birth it under normal circumstances) or individually strangle a basket of miscellaneous cute baby animals?

Pregnant with the bowling ball :(

Would you rather be eaten by a sandwich or driven by a car?

Driven by a car! Being eaten would be awful.

can I borrow a feeling?

Yes. Could you lend me a jar of love?

if you had to chose; out of your mom and your dad which one would you do? You get the choice between a blindfold and a condom. GO

Oh Lord. Alright, mom with a blindfold. Simply because the blindfold would make me feel slightly less utterly disgusting and because I am a girl who would rather not get pregnant with her own father's child.

You get me all hot an bothered

ಠ_ಠ

what are you going to do if this gets to the front page and then everyone starts flooding you with questions?

Keep answering em!

Should I shave my balls?

I think that's ultimately a personal decision, but if you are looking for my perspective as a girl, I'd say a little trimming is never amiss.

What is the motherfucking time?

What is your favorite motherfucking movie?

Who the fuck do you think you are?

What the fuck are motherfucking earlobes for?

Do you own any motherfucking animals?

The motherfucking time is 3:55pm EST

My motherfucking favorite movie was discussed earlier, but I ended up going with Heathers.

I fucking think I'm myself.

I have no fucking idea what earlobes are for. Evolution made ears fucking look like that.

I own a motherfucking dog

NOTE: dog does not actually fuck it's mother (or anyone else's).

How did you get that scar?

I burnt myself on the grill :(

[deleted]

Yes! And no, sorry.

How big are your breasts? Must know.

32B

Are you, AMfuckingA, menstruating right now?

Not at the moment! I think guys think girls have reservations about talking about this, but really we're just trying not to gross them out.

Become a dolphin or an astronaut

Astronaut.

Google? Is that you?

Yes.

If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself? I know I would.

If I were a hotdog, I would not be sentient, nor would I have a mouth. So no.

whats the meaning of life?

42

EDIT: idk what happened.

[deleted]

Who is Spain? Why is Hitler? When is right?

What is the largest object you've ever inserted inside yourself? What's the largest object you think would probably fit?

I assume you mean, down there, so sadly I have never inserted anything. But I imagine anything the size of a baby could fit, since y'know... nature.

Why is your AMA so much better then mine?

Now I'm sure that's not true!

How do magnets work?

MOTHERFUCKING MAGENTS.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnet

Why did you misspell MAGNETS?

It's a conspiracy.

You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

I am not an android.

Coke or Pepsi? Why?

Dr Pepper. Because it tastes the best.

EDIT: for you, they_trolling ;)

Have you seen Firefly? Is it not the best sci-fi TV series ever?!

I have!!! And I agree with you. Love it.

should my wiener have a first name?

In my personal opinion, probably not. Does it already have a last name?

Can you please describe your ideal mustache in 500 words or more?

My ideal mustache would not take 500 words to describe, so no. I am partial to handlebar mustaches though.

The Probability of exactly 4 people out of 10 having a red ticket at a charity ball is approximately 0.2508. What is the probability, as a percentage, of a random person having a red ticket? (Hint: red or not red).

Is the random person at the charity ball as well? Because I feel like that would be important. Otherwise it's inconclusive, as your first sample was all people from the charity ball.

This is a binomial distribution

This is the reverse of the usual sort of question, in which you are given the individual probability, and have to calculate the multiple probabilities.

If the probability of a single person having a red ticket is p, then the probability of not having a red ticket is (1 - p), which I shall call q .

The sample size is 10, so the probabilities of 0, 1, 2, . . . . . 9, 10 people in the sample having the red ticket is given by the terms of the expansion of

(q + p)¹⁰ = 10C0 (q¹⁰⁾ + 10C1 (q⁹⁾ (p) + 10C2 (q⁸⁾ (p²⁾ +

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10C3 (q⁷⁾ (p⁶⁾ + 10C4 (q⁶⁾ (p⁴⁾ + . . . . . etc

which is as far as we need to go, because the term 10C4 (q⁶⁾ (p⁴⁾ is the one we are interested in here.

We are told that 10C4 (q⁶⁾ (p⁴⁾ = 0.2508

The easiest way to find the values of q and p is to refer to published tables of the binomial distribution for n = 10. Look in the body of the table for a value of 0.2508 or thereabouts.

Fortunately, the exact value 0.2508 appears for a value of q = 0.6, p = 0.4

Which means that the probability of any single person having a red ticket is 0.4

Good thing I didn't attempt to answer this (though I never promised correct answers anyways)

Do you like candy corn?

yes! I tend to eat off the tops.

What is the most detailed memory you have?

Tough. Probably yelling at a kid about how stupid he was in fourth grade, only to get closer and see his mom was right fucking there. Embarrassing memories are always the clearest.

Now go home and get yer fuckin shinebox?

Mother fuckin mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit!

Your opinion on the /r/beatingwomen controversy?

I agree that if it were a fetish it would be okay, but that subreddit does not make that clear, and implies quite the opposite. Even if the implications ARE the fetish, that is not okay, they need to make it clear that the women are okay with this and that they mean no harm or disrespect.