Hello there guys! My name is Marc Copeland and I was a "kidnapped" child wanted by the Police and FBI from around the ages of 5-6 to 16. My mother is French and my father is American so after they had a bad breakup it turned into a fight over me and eventually into an international custody case. I'm currently writing a book about my life called From the outside looking in. Here are some links to the case: http://www.angelfire.com/rock/cribbage/marc.html https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.tapatalk.com/groups/porchlightusa/viewtopic.php%3ft=2490&amp=1 And here is proof the case was resolved: http://www.forthelost.org/blog/2009/02/26/marc-copeland-found-safe/ Finally here is proof that this is really me : http://imgur.com/gallery/bZx1sTY If you want to follow my story and ask more questions after the ama or learn more about my book here are so social media links: https://www.facebook.com/marc.copeland.7399 https://www.instagram.com/stringenthydra/ https://www.strava.com/athletes/39680366 https://livingontherun.travel.blog/ I plan on being on for most of the day except for meal and bathroom breaks so ask away! P.S. Special thanks to Stuart Sharp for helping me make this book a reality. If any literary agents read this and are interested in my book please write to [email protected] for any business inquiries. EDIT 1: Thank you all for the great response! I'll be on and off today (SUNDAY THE 18TH) as well so keep the questions coming!

Comments: 1042 • Responses: 85  • Date: 

organicrobotgrl20163024 karma

I too am a kidnapped child and my 2 younger brothers. Pawns between two selfish people. My question to you is..do you touch on the term Parental Alienation?

Hydra9681987 karma

I don't feel much alienation towards my father but I do feel that way towards my mother. I'm very sorry you had this happen to you and I'm writing this book in large part to give hope and courage to others in our position that you can have a normal life eventually. For many years this didn't seem possible to me and I struggled with anxiety and depression.

I_am_BrokenCog54 karma

not sure if you'll have time to answer ... but if you do:

at what age do you first remember realizing that you had been, or felt that you were, kidnapped?

Hydra96840 karma

I realized with my father the day we left. He told me in plain words why he felt we needed to run to Mexico. As for my mother I was too young and didn't realize it at the time I just knew my parents were fighting.

Minkiemink1586 karma

Hi Mark, Kidnapped child here as well. Kidnapped first by mother and then by father along with my little brother. Was hidden age 5-9.5 before I was found. Front page news across the country in 1962. Parental kidnapping laws were based on our case. The subsequent lunacy after we were returned was off the charts. The kidnapping ruined my relationship with both of my parents and for quite a long while made me a pariah with other kids and their families. Therapy later in life did help. Over the years I've found many others like us. How are you coping?

Hydra968880 karma

I'm doing really well. It's taken years and a very rough road. After the situation I had severe depression I hid from everyone. I went from around 175-180 to 225 pounds because I had been so scared of lack of food that I ate indiscriminately. Losing that weight was really hard. Harder was realizing I was me and not that little victim kid. I'm very sorry you had to go through a similar situation and that is what I want this book to be about not just me but hope for others like us. I own a huge amount to my wife Lily and my best friend Dustin.

HarleysAndHeels170 karma

Did you not have access to food while with your mom?

Hydra968434 karma

I didn't have access to enough food when me and my father were together at some points due to our poverty. My mother wasn't very attentive to me during my early childhood but there was always plenty of food.

Jets89246957 karma

Having experienced it, what are your thoughts on the international court systems? Being that your case was involved in two countries, do you think it was handled legally as best it could be? Also congrats on working on the book, very excited to read it!

Hydra9681048 karma

Thanks for your kind comment! If you want to read a chapter of the upcoming book it's embedded in my wordpress that is linked on my OP post. The international court system I would say is well intended but incredibly awkward and unable to really resolve issues with much success. Part of the problem is your dealing with two completely different sets of laws that simply don't mesh. Another issue is how by default the court proceedings are incredibly lengthy and can span over years. The sad truth is if you are born to parents of two different nations and they ever divorce things can become incredibly difficult and the child is almost always the loser.

Chambsky26 karma

This breaks my heart. This is something that really needs more attention. If countries want to be inclusive and accepting of others then this needs to be part of a country's social services and court infrastructure before the legalization of marriages between citizens of different countries. IMO. It may take years depending on the countries but I believe the benefit will far out weight the costs.

Hydra96861 karma

The sad truth is a lot of countries don't want to be inclusive and accepting of others. American at the moment is a prime example. I totally agree with you the benefits would be huge in the long term however and I believe it's a worthy goal to strive towards.

MyWifeDontKnowItsMe734 karma

Why don't you use Reddit on your bathroom breaks like the rest of us?

Serious question. At what point did you realize there was a massive problem? I grew up in a Munchausen by proxy house, and I never really understood the gravity of what happened until much later in life, probably grad school. How long did it take you to fully grasp the gravity of what happened to you?

Hydra968659 karma

I feel our situations may have differed somewhat. I was always free to leave from my father and return to my mother. In fact my father asked me all the time if I wished to do so. I realized the gravity of my situation at maybe 8-9. I also realized that in my opinion I had no great choices I just had to survive in the hand I was dealt if that makes sense. I don't use my phone in the bathroom because if you seen what germs grew in everyday bathrooms you wouldn't either.I guess that's a side effect of working in the laboratory.

Canbot147 karma

Germs are everywhere. EVERYWHERE

Hydra968313 karma

That's correct. The same germs are not everywhere however and the risk is not all the same. That's the reason eating raw beef is less dangerous the raw chicken for instance.

newbluemonday134 karma

Do you feel that your father would’ve held it against you had you asked to leave? Or if you had asked to go back to your mom that he would’ve thrown a fit? I was asked by both of my parents who I liked better and who I would rather live with all the time because they were trying to one up one another.

Hydra968171 karma

No I really don't feel he would have. I honestly think if he knew any way for the situation to end without losing me forever he would have and it always respected my wishes.

TheSmokerDuck326 karma

What are your thoughts about you father? Do you hate him for what he did? Would you be able to forgive him some day ?

Hydra9681005 karma

I love my father. I feel as an adult he did what he had to do in order to give me the best life possible. We talk on a weekly basis. To explain the situation in very simple terms although I feel this oversimplifies it my mother kidnapped me first taking me from my father's legal custody to France her home county. My father then kidnapped me back from France. At this point my father had legal custody in America and my mother had legal custody in France. After a long court battle my father feared my mother would get legal alone visitation rights (what she used to illegally take me to France in the first place) and decided to go on the run with me.

Falling23111134 karma

That's what I understood from the court listener page on your case. It was before your dad went on the run.

https://www.courtlistener.com/opinion/994129/copeland-v-copeland/

Hydra968290 karma

This^ Please upvote this comment it explains a lot regarding my case in it's legal aspects.

DangerTiger243 karma

Damn man. A very similar thing happened to me when I was young, but my father was from Iraq and mother from California. My mother got me back after a few months and went through the FBI, Scotland Yard, and an ex Special Forces team that were there to help “kidnap” me back in case things didn’t go the right way. It happens way more frequently than I think people realize. I hope you’re doing well emotionally! I know first hand the stresses that experience can cause

Hydra96812 karma

Really sorry this happened to you too. Glad your doing ok brother. It really is more common then a lot of people realize and often the people effected have nowhere to turn.

scruffbeard306 karma

Now that you are older and grew up in both the States and France, which country do you identify with more? Pros and Cons of either?

Hydra968941 karma

Wow what a great question. My opinion is that although staying in the USA was right for me because of my father being a better parent then my mother IMO, France is probably the better and saner country. Better healthcare, better and free education, better gun control so you don't need to be scared of going to the store each day. Oh I forgot and no Donald playing king so yes in my opinion France and most of Europe honestly>>>>>America currently although I do hope that America can somehow rebuild in the future. P.s. best county to live in currently I believe to be Finland or Norway.

NordicTomboy286 karma

As someone who lives in Finland by their own choice, I fully agree with you: Finland and Norway are two best countries to live in. Every day I feel lucky to be living here. Hope to never take it for granted.

Hydra968129 karma

Wonderful to hear. Maybe one day we will be neighbors who knows!

Shunkatei14 karma

I've never been to Europe, what is good about Finland or Norway?

Uncle_Creepy12343 karma

Look at any metric on happiness or quality of life. They will be somewhere at or near the top.

Hydra96841 karma

Don't worry I'm sure our border wall will help us way more then education or healthcare ever could. Lol.

DrHivesPHD250 karma

Whats it like to be the kid on the side of the milk carton?

Hydra968625 karma

Very isolating and lonely. Very few people know what's it's like to be alone with only one other person for weeks or months. I was homeschooled from grade 1 to my GED. I had no friends other then my 2 dogs. It was very, very hard.

mintymound170 karma

Do you have a good set of friends now or do you still feel isolated? Did it impact on you social skills?

Hydra968889 karma

I do have a small group of friends. I actually met my best friend Dustin right after my situation ended via xbox live and halo 3. Years later we have met mutiple times and he is honestly the best man I know and I can say without a doubt he kept me alive throughout my darkest days. A huge part of my drive to continue came from him since he has been paralyzed from the waist down since birth and doesn't let that phase him or bring him down. Once you stop being the victim and say ok this is my life how can I endure and overcome then you will see betterment in every part of your life.

arinth16 karma

Do you still have the two dogs?

Hydra968131 karma

I sadly do not. They died tragically when some sick bastard shot them both while me and my father were away from them. Seeing them like that still haunts me to this day.

lannvouivre45 karma

I'm sorry, man. I'm glad you were able to be family with your puppers while you had them.

Hydra96834 karma

Thanks I appreciate that.

maplecat77 karma

Hey OP, Different situation, but I entirely know how you feel about being isolated like this. Until I was 16, the only people I saw regularly were my parents, my siblings, and (ocassionally) grocery store cashiers. If you ever want to talk through it you can message me :)

Hydra96874 karma

Thanks for your support and your comment I know it's hard to admit things like that. I hope your doing better now and have found your happiness.

sakura-dream183 karma

Whats the relationship like with your mother?

Hydra968489 karma

I don't speak much to my mother anymore. She received funds to "search" for me during my childhood and after the situation ended I never felt much warmth or maternal desire. The sad truth is at some point during the situation I feel she decided it was best the way things had gone as she has two other children now and is remarried. Although I never learned the exact amounts she received as donations I feel this played a strong part in her unwillingness to bargain or end the situation before I was 16.

totalitarianbnarbp297 karma

I mean this in a very gentle way—forgive me please forgive me for being blunt. Do you think your assessment of your mother is influenced by being kidnapped? I would imagine a factor of parental alienation that takes place in kidnapping situations.

Hydra968340 karma

I appreciate your question and I fully understand where you are coming from. Factually to some extent I would say it has too. However both the Jackson county police ( the local police department handling our case) and the FBI marshal in charge of our case expressed to me how difficult working with my mother was and ultimately it was this seeming unwillingness to come to any sort of agreement or compromise that ended the situation and make me believe my mother's heart was not in the right place in regards to my wellbeing.

ImSoBasic243 karma

On the other hand, you've also said that your father raised you in a food-insecure environment, you didn't have any friends, and were extremely isolated due in part to being home-schooled. You also give your father a lot of credit for letting you decide who you wanted to live with, but that's honestly not a decision an 8-year-old is really capable of making (though it does seem to have made you feel like you yourself are at least somewhat responsible for the circumstances in which you were raised). I think it's things like this that have people wondering whether your views of your mother are unfairly prejudiced.

Hydra968234 karma

I can truly understand your opinion. Maybe if I mention that my mother's then boyfriend now husband was very aggressive towards her and I felt unsafe in her care you can understand my decisions more. Believe me I'm not saying my time with my father was a walk in the park just the best of my then shitty options. I totally understand how people feel I am biased and I admit that freely since we all are to some extent.

K-Zoro49 karma

Would you say a loving parent is better then a financially well off, emotionally distant, parent?

Hydra968119 karma

I would say that. Love is the most important factor in a relationship with a child. However it's more complicated then that. If you love your child don't you want the best education for them? How about if they get sick don't you want the best medical care? Therefore if you have a child in the USA without thinking you can actually hurt them immensely by your own decisions and that doesn't sound like love to me.

ignost23 karma

That's a very open response, thank you. This was exactly my concern: your father raised your, and you give him a lot of credit despite being a partial cause in what sounds like a very difficult and lonely childhood. But if I'm to put myself in your shoes, it was probably the best outcome you could have hoped for. I'm just sorry you were dealt that hand with less than ideal options all around.

I'm curious about that loneliness. Did you have a hard time making friends after all that time alone? What do you do now to be social, and how difficult do you find social situations?

Hydra96821 karma

Thank you for your detailed reply. Yes I had a hard time for many years after as I was working on bettering my social skills and ability to talk to people.

9mackenzie68 karma

Do you think that it’s possible your father’s views of your mother have colored your own view of her?

Hydra9688 karma

My father always had good things to say about my mother. He just said that they weren't right for each other and it didn't work out. I totally understand your viewpoint but I assure you I came to these conclusions on my own.

powerlinedaydream116 karma

What do you think would have been the best setup for you and your family after the divorce? You said in another answer that you were really lonely and isolated after you and your father went on the run in the US.

Hydra968316 karma

If my mother would have agreed to it 6 months in France and 6 months in the USA would have been the ideal situation. I realize for school proposes this may have been impractical so the best practical answer would have probably been living with my father the school year and spending the summers with my mother. The real issue with any of these plans is the trust between my parents had of course been shattered and the courts couldn't enforce what would have avoided an incredibly unfortunate situation.

ebulient12 karma

If you found the schooling better in France, why not the summer in US instead? I only ask because you spoke about your ideal situation. Is it because even then you did not feel as close to your mother?

Hydra96838 karma

Because I would not want to be around my mother's husband for that long basically. I also never felt the same love from my mother that I recieved from my father.

ashspiv85 karma

How old are you now and what’s life like?

Hydra968239 karma

I'm 27 going on 28 in February. I work as a medical laboratory technician traveling from state to state to earn my living. I'm married to an amazing woman now and focus on my health, self improvement and eventually owning a home ( hopefully in Massachusetts) in the next couple of years.

Calvinsgirl8435 karma

I'm a lab tech! Fabulous career!! I love it

Hydra96869 karma

Good for helping others but limited career advancement and terrible working hours make me think it's not a good lifelong choice.

alicevirgo17 karma

Did your experience / the situation between your parents regarding custody affect your view on marriage?

Hydra968115 karma

It made me understand that a marriage should mature before kids are added IMO.

alicevirgo26 karma

That's a good principle to have.

Hydra96820 karma

Thanks I appreciate that.

phaserdelic37 karma

I think you are very brave about the whole situation. Looking forward to getting your book! My question is what would you do differently, if anything at all, if you had the chance to go back and change something? How would you mediate such cases in future?

Hydra96899 karma

Thanks, I won't lie my heart really still beats fast and as I'm typing this my hands are shaking. At a certain point in my life I just realized I had suffered from panic and depression long enough and I wasn't going to let it control me anymore. At my worst I was considering suicide daily, had panic attacks so bad that I thought I was going to die of a heart attack weekly, and was with a partner that blamed me when she cheated and called me a loser and a freak. That was me guys.I totally own that and that gives me the drive each day to never let myself be deluded into thinking I'm worthless again.

AnneHedonia87619 karma

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I want to give the child-you a hug and make it safe. I didn't have your situation, but I grew up with a ton of instability and fear - I was raised on a commune in the woods, and then we moved from place to place...we lived in 11 different places by the time I was 12 years old. A lot of the time we were pretty isolated, and when I finally re-entered society and went to an actual school, I was scared and obviously "different", so I got bullied on and off. I started getting panic attacks and depression aged 14 or so, and it took years before I was able to do what you put so well - make a decision to not remain that scared, lonely kid, but move on, and make the best out of the life you have now. Really glad to hear you are doing well and have love and friends - even just the one really good friend! I'm doing great now too. Yay us.

Hydra96813 karma

Amazing story. I'm so glad your doing better now and I'm so sorry you got bullied. It really is a hard thing to understand if you weren't living it and from the sounds of it you had it worse then me in many ways. Congrats on living your own life and not letting the past define you.

WhiteDragon9d36 karma

Did you know there’s a law and order SUV loosely based on your situation? I say loosely because they added a lot of extra drama but the premise of a custody battle between an American man and French woman over their son is the premise for the episode

Hydra96838 karma

I heard about this but was never told explicitly where they drew inspiration from. I also never really watch that show so I have never seen the episode personally.

tufffffff18 karma

They should pay you royalties lmao

Hydra96821 karma

I wouldn't turn that down but I seriously doubt I'll ever see a cent.

Crepe_Suzette34 karma

Do you remember anything about the court proceedings (assume you weren’t there) or the attorneys involved? Did your case set any legal precedent in the states?

Hydra96862 karma

I don't remember much in terms of court room procedures as your not really involved at 4-5 years old. My case did indeed set legal precedent not only nationally but international along with a few other cases but I'll leave that for the lawyers of reddit to explain. If your interested in it the reason I am writing this book is on the encouragement of people after I first did a spur of the moment ama around 4 months ago. The legal side is explained there in detail along with the relevant case law.

swheedle34 karma

Why did the French authorities allow this to happen? What legal context protected your mother?

Also I'm so glad you made it out of this and I can't wait to read the book!

Hydra96878 karma

I think the French authorities were good people like most and simply seen the situation from a superficial prospective that is totally understandable. From their eyes they needed to protect a mother's rights and the rights of their own citizen over a foreigner. Sadly things are always much more complicated then that in reality.

MintsAreFresh33 karma

Were there any Hobbies you enjoyed while you were kidnapped that stuck with you to today?

Hydra96894 karma

Reading is number 1 by far. I love fantasy and sci-fi. Playing video games is second. I'm an OG pokemon kid and yes Pokemon Yellow is still the best!

powerlinedaydream28 karma

What are your memories from the times that you were taken by your mom and then by your dad? Were you scared or were they able to convince you that everything was normal? When did you realize that you were kidnapped?

Hydra96846 karma

I realized instantly by my father. When my mother took me I was still very young and didn't fully understand the situation or it's gravity.

Adeang27 karma

Were you and your father on the lam in the US? If so, and he had legal custody, why run and hide?

(Sorry if previously answered, I did a cursory review of your first AMA and couldn't find it)

Hydra96895 karma

Basically my father's lawyer told him that soon although he would retain custody of me my mother was going to receive unrestricted visitation. This is what she used to abduct me to France against court orders in the first place. Fearing she would take me to France via plane (this was pre 9/11) My father took me and we fled to Mexico initially.

strawberrytaint24 karma

Do you still like soccer?

What did you and your dad do while you were with him? Were you scared at any point?

Hydra96865 karma

I sadly don't follow soccer much although I do still run and recently completed my first half marathon. I trained daily while I was in Mexico on a team and realized I just wasn't that talented. I was scared especially as I got older mostly of my dad going to prison for many years which was my biggest fear.

surzonx21 karma

Was there any point where you were like "This is it Im going to die"?

Hydra96844 karma

No I never really felt that way during the situation. However for many years after while I was trying to integrate into normal society I did feel that way often.

partybynight18 karma

Was anyone else just surprised to see an Angelfire link?

Hydra9689 karma

Everyone seems to say that. I guess like AOL dial up and Digimon it's a real blast from the past.

megnesson17 karma

How did your father make a living while on the run?

Hydra96814 karma

Odd jobs, farm hand and VW bug car restoration.

fuck_all_you_people16 karma

Hello Marc,

My daughter was moved thousands of miles away from me against both her and my will. I am working on appealing the case but in my state a father being little more than a babysitter is a foreign concept.

My question to you is what were some of your favorite memories of your distant parent when you couldnt see them? What were some of the creative ways that they kept themselves relevant in your life?

Hydra96815 karma

I feel really sorry for you and your situation. I wish I could say something more encouraging. You have to find some way to be in her life or just hope she will reconnect after 18. As much as I loved my father when I was with my mother I thought of him fairly little. As kids we are so caught up in the moment we don't think the same way as adults for good and bad. I did pray to be with my father again( I'm not religious anymore) but that is my one really strong memory.

_mcuser15 karma

Hi Marc, I haven't heard about your case until now so forgive my ignorance.

How was this resolved? When were you no longer "on the run?" How is your father now? Was he every in trouble criminally?

Do you have any relationship with your mother?

Thanks and good luck on the book.

Hydra96839 karma

The case was resolved when I was around 16 years old due to a combination of the Jackson county sheriff's department and the federal FBI marshal assigned to our case. My father was very lucky and faced no jail time and all charges were dropped. In very basic terms nearly everyone on the criminal justice side had not too positive words to say regarding my mother and her motives and therefore they teamed up to drop the charges and return me to a "normal" life.

matt_the_mediocre14 karma

Did you find cathartic release and clarity from putting your story into words? If so, what did it help to resolve for you?

Congratulations on your book, that is amazing. Being able to share your story with others is something I am not sure I could do and requires courage and emotional strength that I admire greatly.

Also, an Angelfire webpage. Holy Flashback batman.

Hydra96828 karma

I find each chapter very, very hard to do. Remembering my two lost animals and the hunger and starvation still makes me feel clammy. I'm hoping this book will make a difference in just one life and bring meaning to what I went through.

joparront13 karma

I was kidnapped for three years at a very young age. Given a 'new' mother, and a little brother- little brother was kidnapped as well.

Do you keep your interesting history quiet?

Hydra96820 karma

For the most part yes. Not because I'm ashamed but because I fear people would jump to conclusions or think I'm using a serious issue as an attention getter.

XxXmaddy66613 karma

Hi! Thank you for taking the time to share your story, I read that you’re writing about a book about your experience, what do you think you would be doing now if you had had a conventional/unexciting childhood? Cheers!

Hydra96820 karma

I think I would probably have a higher education then I currently do( graduated with my A.A.S. with a 3.92 GPA). My real love and passion is commentary, I would love to do starcraft or LOL commentary as I'm fascinated by the games and have played for years. I've also really big into watching YouTube so having a channel and community there would be amazing. Basically I feel I do well at my job and I'm very lucky to able to help people but like most of you I work for each paycheck and never got the opportunity to do what I desired to most. I'm also a big fan of Joe Rogan and MMA since I did martial arts of many years as a teen.

noocarehtretto12 karma

With everything that happened to you, do you want kids?

Hydra96842 karma

I do but only with a stable house and financial security. I feel having kids too young was one of my parents biggest mistakes and one I definitely payed for. I also intend to only have one child or at max 2. We are moving into the robotic age and having children senselessly doesn't make sense to me. It's a high honor and privilege not a right or something you just do.

R0binSage11 karma

Are you a dual citizen?

Hydra96834 karma

Yes I am as I was born in France although I haven't filed my paperwork as of yet however given how things are currently in America I am considering it heavily.

jacobgu311 karma

Through it all, what was the hardest part for you?

Hydra96855 karma

Being alone by far. No one has faced their worse demons until they have been isolated from society for months.There is a reason some view solitary confinement as torture and I would agree that it is.

jacobgu37 karma

I completely agree with that, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m sure it was almost all negative, but through it, there may have been some opportunities to get to know yourself and have some realizations about things that you may not have otherwise thought about.

Hydra9689 karma

For sure, it was one of my biggest growth opportunities and I wouldn't change it even if I could.

Avocado_Tomato8 karma

How is your French? Do you spend anytime in France at all or have a feeling of connection to that country?

Hydra96824 karma

I am ashamed to admit languages are my hardest subject by far. Despite living in Mexico, France, and visiting China extensively English is the only language I know to any real extent.

MoDude2108 karma

What was all of the attention like?

Hydra96810 karma

At the end there wasn't really any attention . My story never got any news attention as I think I was too old when I returned. It really did end with total and somewhat anticlimactic silence to be honest looking back now.

sizzlebitz8 karma

How do you feel about the media’s portrayal of the case both during the “kidnapping” and afterwards?

Hydra96812 karma

Most of the time they aim to spin the case for views while not caring about the facts. I listen to podcasts or look online I don't watch the news media.

msk98117 karma

Do you work now? Do people recognize you a lot?

Hydra96812 karma

No one has ever recognized me in all these years surprisingly. I want missing as a little kid and didn't garner much news on my return. I was so nervous and shy at first it took me years to tell anyone.

SmoothConfidence7 karma

Hello! I've read a few of your replies here stating that your mother was unattentive to you in your early years. What do you think the reason was that she took you back to France with her in the first place? Love? Spite? Or maybe desperation?

Thanks and good luck with the completion of your book!

Hydra96811 karma

Trying to keep up appearances when her friends asked where I was and my maternal grandparents putting pressure on her to get me back were her main motivations I feel. Also I think she felt confused as to what she truly wanted at this time as well.

tufffffff6 karma

How did you meet your wife, and has your experience with your situation altered your relationship with her in any way?

Hydra96817 karma

Met my wife visiting China. She is a school teacher so she has excellent English. I don't think it effects our relationship I don't believe in isolationism or saying because my mother did A my wife might do B. Eventually you have to drop the baggage or be ground into the earth under the weight.

lilblue226 karma

I'm my childhood I attended 8 different schools as I lived in 5 different cities. I was shifted about a lot but was never involved with the courts or child services. Now that you're older and it's your choice where you live do you want to stay in one place and do you have a place you call home and where is that?

Hydra96813 karma

Yes if I stay in America I would perfer to live in Massachusetts. The high standards of life, great education system, cool people, strong unions and amazing climate make it ideal in my opinion. Massachusetts and California are the two best U.S. states in my opinion.

el___diablo5 karma

From the outside looking in

Surely From the inside looking out would be more apt ?

Hydra9683 karma

Interesting I will keep that in mind. I am currently toying with several titles which include; 1. A Time Apart: a story of an international custody battle. 2. Caught in the Crossfire: my story as a kidnapped child.

  1. From the Outside Looking In: My life as a kidnapped child

  2. Solitude: my story as a victim of a international custody battle.

charlie71_5 karma

How do you think it impacted your relationships with other people as a adult? Did it make it hard to have long term friendships?

I noticed in some responses with others where it almost seems your trying to justify what happened, you have nothing to justify... full stop. This is your story... your life. YOU lived it and you owe NO ONE an explanation on your inner feelings. Thank you for sharing.

Hydra9684 karma

Thanks. I just like to share with everyone and I think that often the people that lash out are the ones hurting the most. I want to be the guy that responses to everyone regardless of what they say. It did effect my ability to make friendships at first. I found it hard to trust people. But the most impactful thing I did was taking a public speaking class in college. Social skills are a real thing and can be built like any skill.

Roelor4 karma

As a in an international marriage with a baby on the way, this situation is my worst nightmare. We have seen cases between our two countries that are not resolved at this moment.

As both had legal custody in their respective countries, what would have been your solution for this situation? I mean, would you have wanted to live in both countries for x years? Would you have wanted to not seen one of the two parents? I'm trying to understand what would be the right choice if this ever happens between me and my wife.

Hydra9684 karma

Sincerely hope it doesn't ever happen. My solution would have been either the school year in one country and summer break in the other or ideally a 6-6 month split. The problem is because this is incredibly difficult to enforce most of the time the simplest solution wins out which is basically one parent has custody and the other rarely if ever sees the child.

Bardali4 karma

Did you do an AMA before ?

Hydra96810 karma

Yes I did I'm impromptu one this March. The huge response led to me writing this book in fact.

j0nny_a55h0l31 karma

are you related by any chance to adam copeland aka edge from wwe?

Hydra9683 karma

Not to my knowledge but truly who knows I might be distantly.

ravenHR1 karma

In one of the comments you said you were kidnapped back by your father from france, but I can't find anywhere on the links that you were kidnapped by your mother, were you? Also why did your father kidnap you?

Hydra9682 karma

Yes I was my mother took me first during an unsupervised visitation while my father had custody of me in North Carolina. My father kidnapped me back from france to try to get me to the USA where he felt at the time the justice system would be able to resolve the issue. Finally I was kidnapped a third time by my father when my mother was going to get unsupervised visitation again a year or two later.

i-invented-sex-691 karma

Did you have any other siblings who were involved?

Hydra9682 karma

I have two half- siblings but no direct siblings no.

newsposts1 karma

You think the word kidnapped is the appropriate word for this situation being with a loved one?

Hydra9683 karma

This is why I put kidnapped in quotations. Technically that is what happened but I didn't want to say my situation was the same as being abducted by a non-parental entity.

JJDart1 karma

What is the biggest difference you see between yourself and others? What are some of the biggest after effects from an experience such as yours (any triggers)?

Thanks for speaking out about your experiences, it really sheds a light in the darkness

Hydra9681 karma

I think the biggest difference I seen at first was my lack of social conditioning both for good and for bad. So many Americans simply accept things as fact because that's how they were raised or because of public schooling. I also feel I have more of an intrinsic vs extrinsic drive compared to most people and the time I spent alone.

SonOfMcGee0 karma

Is there still enough time to change the book title?

Hydra9682 karma

Absolutely, it is just a working title currently. The book is around 33 to 45 percent complete.

wheat_thin_lyfe-2 karma

Were you sexually abused?

Hydra9682 karma

No I was never sexually abused.

onewankman-4 karma

Marc. You clever bastard. This is your big PR move isnt it?

Hydra9683 karma

I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I was dirt poor. Although it's not my primary motivation I won't lie that providing for my wife and bettering my life isn't part of the reason I'm doing this.

onewankman1 karma

You sound like a nice and genuine guy. I really hope you get the prestige you deserve. :) Hope my use of bad language didnt hit too hard. How did your other relatives play a role in that big game between your parents if i may ask?

Hydra9681 karma

Not at all man. I grew up with "dirty" language and it doesn't bother me at all. Basically everyone was forced to take a side and it was very ugly for everyone involved.

Dangleesac84-4 karma

Man, parents can be tough. Having them hate each other and fight each other over you is the worst. Do you hold any resentment?

And dude, I'm sorry if this comes off shitty, I swear it's with good intentions, but look into getting your eyebrows waxed. You've got some thick ones like mine and they could use shaping. I know it sounds weird, but my ex gf got me into it and I can't begin to count the random people (women and men) who have complimented them.

Hydra9684 karma

Thanks for the support. I fully realize about my eyebrows I just think anyone who judges me based on that is someone I am better off not knowing and so it's actually intentional.

[deleted]-7 karma

[deleted]

Hydra96810 karma

I suggest you read the above comment or look into the links above but in simple terms I was actually kidnapped by both of my birth parents. This happened because one had legal rights in France while the other had legal rights in the USA. When my father took me from around 6-16 we lived on the run from the law which is what my book is about.

GaryLazereys-17 karma

Who's your ghost writer? You are clearly terrible at writing.

Sorry that your parents suck

Hydra9685 karma

I'm working with a man named Stuart Sharp for editing and grammar. I agree English and other languages have never been my best subject and I hope it hasn't spoiled your enjoyment of this thread.

V1rusH0st-36 karma

You did this exact AMA in March with the same title and you just copy/pasted the entire text from that one. That one received plenty of attention and responses. Why again now?

Hydra96842 karma

I did do an AMA in march. I'm not copying answers just trying to explain more what happened. In that AMA people requested me to write a book about my experiences which I'm currently doing. Also there was a lot of questions I felt uncomfortable at the time answering like where we were at various points. This AMA is to clear that up and answer more people's questions. I'm not trying to farm points I'm trying to help people in a situation that is soul crushing and has very few resources. My goal is to help others overcome what I went through without the many painful lessons I had to learn first hand.

Kadaj22-51 karma

[deleted]

Hydra9682 karma

I'm truly sorry this happened to you. It's obvious to me your still in a lot of pain and I wish you the very best in your life. Know that I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best.