17856
IamA Disabled Little Person who just moved into an apt of my own!!! Wooo! Let's have some fun. AMA!
My short bio: I did an AMA 2 or 3 years ago which made it to the front page, because we just had fun with it. I was answering for 2 solid days and don't let my photo fool you with the size of my brass cojones, I am actually a little person. Sorry no banana for scale. I am diagnosed technically with rheumatoid arthritis which screwed up my joints pretty badly for many years before biologics like Enbrel went mainstream. I am 34 and got "sick" at 3, so in 1986. I am not touchy about answering anything health related or my condition or the occasional inevitable "how big is your dick?" questions. Lets have fun.
Sorry about the quality of my photos, my phone is a potato.
https://imgur.com/a/Mc6p7 Short album of my apt and a hilarious shot of my with a stripper. I was laughing like a moron the entire time because of the awkwardness and ridiculousness of the situation, not because of her nakedness. The Strip club was actually super disappointing. Dark, very loud, most of it wasn't accessible, and the dancing was crap. I could dance better, and it crossed my mind actually getting up on stage. Ask for a ramp and there I am twerking my powerchair's ass off.
Now the problem why I moved on my own into an accessible apt was not only the accessibility which I never had before (I couldn't reach the sink, go outside on my own til I got this incredible powerchair a couple years ago, didn't have an accessible shower, or kitchen, etc) but also because of my parents, particularly my mother. A few years ago I started reading /r/raisedbynarcissists and after years of depression, isolation, tantrums, and a suicide attempt, I found that those stories read exactly like my life. So maybe the problem wasn't in me and I wasn't to blame. Next step was doing something about it. It took years of exercising my arms, anxiety chest pains, weed, months of bureaucracy, and fighting and loathing for me to find this place. Obviously I have a visiting aide, Deb, but the idea here is to do as much as I can on my own. Deb's a hoot though. I was afraid of getting someone with the outlook of a guard from Auschwitz. I was also lucky in that the installer guy agreed to make slight modifications to the apt for my safety, but I went balls deep with the expensive grab bars and touch sensitive Delta faucet (I'm sure you can imagine how much that cost). A few kind Redditors took pity and actually bought me a mechanical toothbrush and gummi bears. I can eat a pound of those when I'm stoned.
Now I will tell you a little bit about the apt. It isn't big, in fact it's quite small, the bedroom is about filled to the brim after the bed was installed. But it's 100% mine and to make it livable I have then, and now planned to make as much of it accessible or automatic as possible. They already have a remote control door which I actually was pleasantly surprised by, and motion sensors on trash and laundry rooms. But inside the apt I had ideas in my head too... Keep in mind I really can't modify the apt, nail things to walls or whatever, but they were kind enough to agree to install my mostly reasonable safety requests. For example I spent a lot of money on a touch sensor faucet. Sorry for the potato quality photo, but I cannot take good selfies with my tiny little Trex arms. I wanted to show the kitchen faucet here. Basically not only can I reach it (a first for me) but it's also very convenient in that you touch any metal part to turn it on/off. The soap dispense is motion sensitive too (though it leaves a lot to be desired as it sucks the soap back as much as it squirts out). The bathroom sink faucet will be motion sensitive and they installed safety for my toilet too https://i.imgur.com/SlWNY25.jpg and what I lovingly call my Hello Kitty seat https://i.imgur.com/rt0TMce.jpg The trashcans will be motion sensitive and will close because I don't want to be staring at rubbish all day. A very kind Redditor has purchased an Alexa for me which is incredible because not only will I have something smarter than a cat to talk to, I can also ask it to call 911 if I fell on my head and I don't even need one of those emergency buttons. As far as lighting goes, I don't have good ideas. I know I can't nail things to walls, and those stand alone lights piss me off. To me they're like for old people. My crazy idea was to RGB the entire place with hidden Alexa controlled lightstrips. For one I can stick these under bed and have the first ever RGB bed in history (eat your heart out, Corsair), behind couch under my PC table without damaging walls. The wirelessness will be convenient and they will provide light as well as color if I want. This feels like the way to go, but so far I haven't been able to choose a good lightstrip system, and I really don't know how many I will need. Probably at least 4 or 5 strips but I will come up with a plan once I have everything else under control.
Now for the medical part if anyone has questions. I have rheumatoid arthritis since I was 3 as I said, which is autoimmune meaning my immune system is attacking my joints. Unfortunately in Russia in 1986 there wasn't really any way to fight this, most of the meds were had to be self-purchased somewhere. I had Gold from Japan which my grandmother bought. Yes these were used to treat inflammation way back when. I stayed though drastically decreased, the amount or prednisone I take daily all this time. As you can imagine prednisone comes with horrible side effects. Cataract, blood pressure, stomach ulcer, head aches, etc. I used to retain more water than three pregnant women. In about 1999-2000 I started having compression spinal fractures about once or more a month for about 2 years because my body had finally had enough and the osteoporosis is one of the major prednisone side effects. I lost a ton of weight and could eat or even sit up for that matter. I was in pretty much the worst pain you can imagine. Depression set in hard and is still around. Somehow I willed myself to sit up, start eating, and excersising to the limited way I can. Then out of the blue in 2009 I had what was later to be found a mass in my throat so I could barely swallow and even had trouble breathing. Thankfully I found an amazing surgeon in Jefferson, Dr. Boon, who worked his magic and brought me out of it. Got all the nasty out but it took a nightmarish week of precautions, feeding tube, and scoping my throat and two surgeries (was so pretty inside they went in again just for the hell of it.)
I later said I had enough. I got a powerchair, and got the fuck out of that nightmarish hole while the getting was good. I was lucky enough to find an apt and a good visiting aide. My eventual dream is a van like in that album which is a conversion with a ramp so you can sit in the front in your powerchair and drive it. But alas these things are not cheap. I'd be 300 by the time I could afford one. http://imgur.com/gallery/Fq22A
Edited out my wishlist
Thanks for reading this wall of text.
My Proof: https://i.imgur.com/NUw5ONm.jpg
SeeDLiNg688742 karma
Questions like this are how you determine whether a person is easily offended or if they're hilarious. I'll allow it.
Jungletouch3892 karma
Have you explored the possibility of upgrading your chair for highway speeds?
Zathewarkam2649 karma
Haha, comjng from someone who is too lazy to read a full paragraph on here, i read the entire thing. You are a hoot! Its great to see you getting there on your own, i know of many people without any disabilities struggle to get where you are, so congrats on it all. Living the bachelor life.
I hope youre slowly making progress with your depression. Thats a bitch in itself.
My question, how are you today?
Zathewarkam772 karma
What better way to deal with this ama. Tired drinking a crappy instant coffee.
Got any big goals after accomplishing this one?
Swagary1232049 karma
Damn those are a lot of moderations to the toilet, how do you fit your gigantic dick in between all of them?
tdames1560 karma
If time and money wasn't an issue, what are the three places you'd most like to travel?
crawlerz24682368 karma
Norway or Sweden. Maybe the UK. But accessibility is a factor and the baggage throwers break my powerchar I'm basically dead in the water.
crawlerz24683945 karma
I don't. I've failed a suicide before. I'm actually kinda like Claptrap. Programmed to seem upbeat.
BaileyJIII165 karma
If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice; I’m actually quite depressed!
DemolishCrawfish1168 karma
Were you intending to look so fucking smug or do you just have resting smug face?
crawlerz24681984 karma
Wouldn't you be smug if you went from nothing to having your own apt all of a sudden without having anyone in your ass 24/7?
Satans_bloody_farts1027 karma
Has anybody ever told you that you look like the physical manifestation of Patton Oswalt's ego?
ifaptotheexercist822 karma
So, it gettin serious with deb or are you guys rolling a long slowly?
crawlerz24681159 karma
I'm a gamer. It's a slapped together system from 2009 i7 920 overclocked to 4.01 THe, 12 GB RAM, Asus p6x58d, 1070 gtx, ultrawide monitor and a G27 for racing. Corsair k70 rgb because why not. Logitech misc stuff. I'm about to stuff that into a much smaller tower though because the coolermaster 932 (i think) is too big and heavy. My brothers tower will do.
crawlerz2468541 karma
I'm mostly too depressed to play lately. But in my top are Il 2 Forgotten Battles. Cod 4 or BF:BC2.
freakierchicken244 karma
Man Bad Company 1 and 2 were super rad. I remember being blown away by the destruction physics! Hope you feel like playing again, it’s always made my days better
nicklo2k659 karma
Do you find the word midget to be offensive? Do you use it with other little people? Have you reclaimed the word and made it your own?
crawlerz24681306 karma
Somehow the word midget for me associates with circus freaks. Personally I think Little Person is stupid too. I'm not offended though. Take more than that to hurt my feelings.
tomenas94607 karma
I always felt like if i was a little person id grow a beard and get ripped, then people could really call me a dwarf... seriously :D
Qudiekendoll59 karma
So were you born little/dwarf/midget sized, or was that caused by medical conditions after birth like the rheumatoid arthritis?
crawlerz2468123 karma
I think somethink hereditary caused it. Much like my autoimmune shit.
Haterbait_band1 karma
Oh man... Don't hate me!
In my defense, the song is from the perspective of some mid-westerner, back in like, cowboy days. It's the only "country" sounding song I do, as of yet. Midget Baby might see a sequel coming someday.
StoppedListeningToMe513 karma
How big is the apartment, and how big is your rent? 😋
Also, do you have to have furniture custom made (I imagine it would be expensive)?
crawlerz2468871 karma
Furniture isn't custom made. I'd never afford it. My apt is quite small. One bedroom low income (not like I'm Peter Dinklage). Its accessible though and that's what counts. I bought my own faucet with touch sensor. My own grab bars for toilet (see album). Basically the bedroom is mostly taken up by a twin adjustable bed. If I get my powerchar in it you can barely walk in.
clem82509 karma
What is your favorite thing to do as a hobby/for fun?
Do you find yourself pretty comfortable out in public or do you tend to be more reserved and scared (had a friend who had this problem, always wanted to make them feel better but just couldn't)?
crawlerz2468909 karma
I used to build models but I don't anymore. I like PC racing Sims I used to love flying too but you can't find a good small hotas.
Outside I got social anxiety but not because of my size. Because of years or narcissistic mental abuse and isolation vis a vis my mother.
crawlerz2468192 karma
Dirt Rally. Assetto Corsa. Used to putt about in il-2 forgotten battles too.
cbutche457 karma
Are there any challenges of being a little person, that we wouldn't realise?
SunshineSexWorker456 karma
Hi! I got you a couple of items off your wishlist and would also like to send you an Uber gift card as well. I believe I need an email to do so. Can you provide this? If not, instructions on how to send it will be great!
I guess I need to ask a question too. What’s the biggest narcissistic act you remember witnessing from your parent?
crawlerz2468856 karma
If you want my email pm me ok? I can't post it here.
Most narcissistic? My dearest mommy blamed me for causing my brother's childhood photosensitive epilepsy. I was the one to let him play my Nintendo 64 and sometimes fed him. Cunt can burn in hell.
throwaway021918542 karma
(sorry to hijack this comment thread; I can't post a top-level comment without a question and I don't really have one.)
I just sent you one of the stainless steel trash cans, and here's why:
Stainless cans hold a special place in my heart. When my now-husband and I were fairly new in our relationship, my birthday rolled around. He asked me what I might like. I told him: a stainless steel trash can, one of those hefty ones where you step on the pedal and the top flips up. It was in the neighborhood if $75 or so, not an extravagant gift but something that I'd hesitated to buy for myself.
He thought I was kidding. I was not. He bought it. His mother was HORRIFIED that he bought his new girlfriend a TRASH CAN for her birthday.
16 years later, I still have that trashcan.
Enjoy.
crawlerz2468280 karma
I plan to use trashbags anyway but jeez he really got you a trashcan?
CharlieKellyKapowski201 karma
My brother and SIL got everyone in the family expensive trash cans for Christmas one year. Yeah, its a weird thing to say you got as a gift but they are damn nice cans
Miapop2000368 karma
Favorite food? Do you cook at home or eat out more getting delivery or something?
crawlerz2468506 karma
Hm. I'm incredibly not fussy. I like Chinese. Or a good cheeseburger.
OverfedIRL175 karma
Do you have to watch your diet in any way since your a disabled little person? Considering your size do you eat ½ of a regular meal or do you eat plenty?
Mkq31334 karma
Hi, congrats on the apartment!!!
I have a 15 month old son with achondroplasia. He is our first child. We love him so much! My wife and I are both average height.
Before having my son, I had never met a little person. Right after he was born, we got connected with the LPA, which was awesome for many reasons, one of which was developing many friendships and learning about Dwarfism.
I have a question....are you the only LP in your family? Also, any advice for an average height dad raising an LP? I have zero clue what life is like for a male growing up with achondroplasia.
Thank you! And I’m sorry you have to read some of ignorant posts on here. I’m infuriated by how awful some people are. I need to get thicker skin I think.
crawlerz2468150 karma
My grandfather is not very talk but Yes I'm the only LP in my family. I haven't connected to LPA because I'm not sure why.
jaybrese279 karma
Is it true that in your country of origin you would be considered average height?
whydoidothus251 karma
What's been the funniest (offensive) thing someone has said to you where you couldn't or almost couldn't get mad at it?
crawlerz24681078 karma
I had posted awhile ago a photo of myself when I just got the lets for this apt ( it took forever to move in) and this key fob for the door. One of my brother's dumbass friends photoshopped it into Rick from Rick and Morty complete with portal gun. I moved it.
Edit this https://i.imgur.com/ouMkgKt.jpg
whydoidothus166 karma
As an aside, do you have a "go to" reply or comment when someone says something dick-ish? Also, thanks for answering my question.
crawlerz2468270 karma
Not really anything ready to go. But I'm sharp when it comes to retorts. Thanks years of sitcoms!
whydoidothus88 karma
Ill keep asking as long as you keep answering... Lol.
Favorite sitcoms? I'm a big Archer fan, and am currently mad at Gotham for mid season breaks but love it.
crawlerz2468197 karma
Shut up. Also yes.
Futurama. Scrubs. My name is Earl. The Simpsons. The Xfiles. Breaking bad. The Fall. Luther. Sherlock.
whydoidothus109 karma
If you like My Name is Earl then try finding a show called Raising Hope. Similar humor and even family friendly (more or less). Cloris Leachman is awesome as Maw Maw.
herolurker5 karma
Holy shit hahahah, dude I can’t stop laughing, I’m sorry I hope you don’t get mad, that was brilliant, you’re awesome.
DANNYonPC238 karma
Crawlerz? I remember you from Battlefield 3 innit? Whatsup dude!
We used to play ages ago
crawlerz2468253 karma
Holy balls! I watch your videos you right bloody cunt. Always managing to find that one Easter egg. How?! Do you see the battlefield code?
PMme_why_yer_lonely202 karma
do you believe in god(s)?
also I just want to let you know that I find your existence and story to be inspiring. the universe is an indifferent bitch, and so many people would give up in the face of the different adversities we all have.
thanks for kicking ass and taking the time to share your story. I only just discovered you and I already admire the fuck out of you. thanks for making my day.
crawlerz2468908 karma
No I'm a devout atheist. Universe is a piece of shit And life is what you make it. You plow through the river of shit hoping to swallow as little as you can.
Phlox_carolina162 karma
What do you think about "people first" phrasing, e.g. saying person with a disability instead of disabled person? This kind of phrasing is advocated by special education teachers & the like.
crawlerz2468385 karma
I'm the least politically correct person you will meet. To me that don't matter. I know I'm disabled.
krstrid150 karma
Do you feel society's expectations are messed up? I myself am a halfway decent looking white dude appearance wise but people assume I've got it all but when I mention a brain tumor and epilepsy people get really quiet. It's like "Well, I don't want to outwardly judge you but I am...".
Do you find people reward able bodied people much more than those than disabled? I guess I'm coming at it from the opposite side as you where mine is more invisible and yours is more visible. I just try to be a complete and whole person with little ego and it does alright for me but it definitely lessens my social circle.
crawlerz2468245 karma
Ofc they do. They want to squirt their genes into a healthy person. With blond hair and blue eyes.
hmsdion129 karma
What are benefits that people who aren't as restricted as you have that we might not realise?
crawlerz2468428 karma
But he's so big! Why isn't he walking why do you carry him? All the babushkas in my hometown can burn in hell.
CZILLROY115 karma
Have you ever considered streaming your video games? You could probably get some pretty decent tips. I once watched this fat guy sleep for a while and he got about $100 a day just to sleep.
You're funny, and would actually be playing games you have interest in. Plus you're popular on Reddit at least. People would want to support you, my guy.
Do it, let Reddit know and you'll have views and tips in no time. Fucking do it!
crawlerz2468103 karma
Yeah I had a monetized gaming YouTube channel which yes are a dime a dozen. But mine lost monetization because not enough views. I could maybe do a podcast but it gets old quickly.
Cyberprog113 karma
I assume you don't currently work, but do you intend upon getting a job now you have your own place? If so, what would you like to do/which industry? Do you have a driver's license?
crawlerz2468215 karma
I don't have a license yet but endgame is getting an accessible van which I can drive from my powerchar and getting a license. Maybe uber. I dont know.
BrandonTokes50298 karma
Do you think you smell more farts than someone who is 6 feet tall?
johnnynoname1274 karma
you're a disabled little person
is there any truth to the rumor that your nightly prayers start with "fuck you, jesus"?
duoderf72 karma
This is a serious question and I only ask because I had a friend in high school that used to complain that nobody else had step stools in their houses when he came over.
How many do you have?
high-priestess65 karma
As someone who’s experienced multiple compression spinal fractures, I really feel for you- I can’t even imagine what the pain was like at this time. I’d like to ask: what’s the pain you experience in general like? I’m thoroughly uneducated when it comes to rheumatoid arthritis so feel free to tell me to fuck off and learn how to Google, but man, having your immune system attack your joints sounds painful. Does medication and/or marijuana help with this? What kind of medications do you take? I know pharmaceutical providers are incredibly careful about supplying pain killers these days, do you have a hard time managing your pain? btw you seem like you’d be the perfect smoking buddy, you’re a fuckin riot. I’m in awe of your strength and overflowing positivity. I am also wondering, is there terminology that you prefer over “little person”? I personally feel it puts more emphasis on the “little” and almost seems to take away from the “person”, and it just doesn’t sit right with me. Thanks for answering questions! It’s hard to know where the line is when speaking with someone about their medical conditions, so I appreciate you providing this opportunity.
crawlerz2468173 karma
Yeah they give me pain pills but I don't like drowsiness and dependency. Weed relieves pain/stiffness with no side effects. And no I'm not positive I'm actually quite depressed!
soulsniper110149 karma
The only side effect to marijuana is the enevitable switch to black tar heroin and dependency on jazz music.
Qudiekendoll44 karma
Were you born in Russia then? Did you emigrate? Brought by your parents? Come as an adult? When I was a kid in texas I remember the adults (conservative republicans through and through) being all pissed off when businesses had to start installing handicap ramps and making it easier for people like you. What reasonable improvements do you think public buildings/cities still need for accessibility?
crawlerz246879 karma
I was born in Russia and my parents brought me when I was 10 in 1994.
synx3d16 karma
I was born in Russia too and adopted when I was 1! Do you have any kind of accent?
Heterozygoats34 karma
Why is "Little Person" the accepted vernacular? When I first heard that term I thought it was being said by someone in a derogatory way. Like how "Colored Person" is offensive, but "Person of Color" isn't. But, honestly, I can't think of what that would be for shortness... "Person of Short Stature?" Oy it's been a long day and I'm tired.
Good luck in the new apartment! I am also 34 and I kinda hate living alone, to be honest!
crawlerz246852 karma
I haven't the slightest clue what moron came up with little person. Its idiotic if you ask me.
crawlerz246898 karma
Mods removed it because I had a wishlist link. Now they should talk about Rampart
Tonroz18 karma
What is one thing thay most people assume about little people, that is in fact completely false?
_we_have_to_go_back_17 karma
My questions to you is "what's the difference between consciousness and self?"
Black_Moons17 karma
Hey. that toilet seat, did they really have to put a riser on it? That seems a little mean!
Also about nailing stuff to walls: Don't worry about it! yea your not 'allowed' but everyone does it. The trick is to get someone pre drill the hole and to put in a proper drywall anchor so it does not leave a huge hole/excessively damage the drywall (for light weight things), or find a stud to nail into, And then when you leave you pay someone to do very minor repairs (drywall is super cheap and easy to fix small holes in) or kiss your security deposit goodbye, your choice (often they won't refund security deposits reguardless so...)
The reason your not allowed is basically just another way for them to denie your security deposit and say you have to repair for repairs to any tiny holes in the walls/etc. Everyone (all renters) hangs pictures on walls, extra lights from ceilings.
I am pretty sure most land lords would rather fix a tiny hole in the wall then try and remove something glued to the wall or whatever other way you might hang it.
DhaosOfLorien9 karma
What are your thoughts on Peter Dinklage's representation of little people, and what's your take on all the little person jokes in Game of Thrones?
crawlerz246892 karma
Peter Dinklage gets laid because he's Peter Dinklage. And frankly I don't feel "we" need representing. I'm not from South Central.
UtopianKing6 karma
What do you think about combining pineapple with pizza? Is it something that science shouldn't allow or do you think it's worth exploring?
crawlerz246834 karma
Hm. I mean on the one hand pizza but ... Pineapple? What is this Psych?
crawlerz24687 karma
I don't at the moment. As a kid my dream job was a bus driver. Then I found Russian busses don't have power steering.
tygejames2 karma
My initial feelings towards this post was 'that's cute/adorable', but then I realised that's probably incredibly patronising. Do you ever feel like you're infantilised because of your size?
travis_allen62 karma
Have you ever watched the South Park episode where Cartman fights the little person? Thoughts?
crawlerz24686 karma
I pick n choose some X Ambasaxors. Awolnation. Illenium. Gunship. Kongos.
DScum-3 karma
What are your thoughts on Eric the Actor? Do you ever plan on doing any acting?
KeinuSulttaani4162 karma
When you have conversations with people, is it technically small talk?
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