My job is to mainly help people with trees, I cut braches, give the trunk a fresh cut, and tie to the roof of their car. I do various other things but I mainly work with individuals or families that are getting a tree. I really enjoyed the first couple weeks after Thanksgiving but I began to dislike the job the closer it got to Christmas. I've found that the people that waited longer to get a tree are generally more frustrating to deal with (unhappy with the amount of stock, tend to have extra demands that are unusual, have a grouchy or pessimistic attitude, and they're always asking for discounts).

Tl;dr people that shop for a Christmas tree after December 20th have a high probability of being an asshole

Comments: 215 • Responses: 55  • Date: 

PrimarinaPopplio234 karma

Would people pay double for a tree that has 1% more pines?

BigBabyBurke13 karma

All of our trees are actually Frasier firs.

mind_the_gap76 karma

Most exotic car you've tied a tree to?

BigBabyBurke28 karma

I wouldn't necessarily call it exotic but I've tied down trees to a bunch of Tesla's. A couple model X's, probably around 10 or so of the model S. The nicest was a Model S, P90D ludicrous speed. A lot of the cars that come through are the high end luxury cars; range rovers, escalades, audi, Mercedes.

cogra233 karma

Why would people with that sort of money not just get it delivered?

Dodgerider2615 karma

You obviously don't have their perspective on their money that they do. To them, a $90k Audi is literally a utility vehicle designed to drive around in. They see it much the same as you see a beater Toyota.

Friggin crazy is all...

BigBabyBurke9 karma

I swear those high end luxury vehicles are more common where I live than Toyota. One of my friends from highschool got a black edition GT-R for his 16th b-day and getting into college he got a Ford raptor. Another friend got a new Audi A6 quatro fully upgraded for his 16th, crashed it and got a new S5 to replace it. I feel like a peasant driving my 2000 Lincoln Town car.

capt_clark6 karma

Jokes on them, at least you can get some proper sleep in the Town Car.

BigBabyBurke7 karma

Yeah that is a really comfy car. It's a Cartier edition, garage kept since 2000 with less than 50,000 miles

that_spacegoat56 karma

So the price difference is based on size only? Do people bring them back in January? what happens then...

BigBabyBurke130 karma

Yes pricing is based on size. People do bring back trees or will ask for a refund/new tree but generally we only accept refunds on trees if there is clear structural damage, like if the trunk splits. Christmas Eve is the last day we are open so if someone drags there Christmas tree back here looking for a refund they will be sorely disappointed.

FLICKinBEANs11 karma

Pricing is based upon size and the type of tree.

BigBabyBurke12 karma

It's more than that but I should have clarified earlier. So all the trees we sell are Frasier firs. You are correct that the price is based on height, with which we assign a color. Green is 4-5 ft. Red is 5-6. Yellow is 6-7. Blue is 7-8. White is 8-9. And the pink are the ones that the owner will give a specific price for each tree. The pink are any of the trees that are over 9 feet. The tallest one that we had was a little over 13 ft. It was sold pretty quickly after we opened. If I remember correctly it was 425 but I could be wrong.

SnippDK2 karma

How much is the prices? Small, medium, large? We usually pay between around 15-20$ in my country..

BigBabyBurke7 karma

4-5ft $50, 5-6ft $60, 6-7ft $85, 7-8ft $100,. 8-9ft $150. Anything taller than 9 feet would be given a price by the owner (my boss). Those would vary from $200-$400+

SnippDK3 karma

Holy shit thats fuckin expensive!

BigBabyBurke1 karma

The most popular are the $85 and $100

messarosh45 karma

Hey OP, I learned more about Christmas trees from the tinsel in my cats asshole, can you answer a few more questions?

willymo16 karma

Can we make you OP now? I have questions...

BigBabyBurke10 karma

As interim Op he gets 35% of the karma

BigBabyBurke8 karma

Yeah sorry about that.

MundiMori39 karma

What do you do the other 11 months?

BigBabyBurke20 karma

I'm a full time college student (finance major, accounting minor). I live at home and commute to the university. The stand is about a mile from my house and I only work there friday-sunday (I had classes monday-thursday this semester). It's one of the better seasonal jobs that I've had. I used to ref basketball in the winter, ive done it for the past 8 years. During the summer I work for a pool servicing company; cleaning, repairing, and renovations. I'm taking my certification exam in January to become a pool technician. When it's not winter/ summer break Im a bouncer.

ARCHIVEbit39 karma

Does this ama have only one snoody OP reply?

shidoobie17 karma

Its xmas give the dude a break

BigBabyBurke8 karma

Lol it was my fault. Thanks for having my back. Happy Holidays!!!

BigBabyBurke12 karma

Yes unfortunately. Op is an ass that forgot about his own ama

medley566 karma

*snooty. Maybe OP didn't think past the "Ask Me Anything" part to the "answer the damn questions" part.

is_it_fun9 karma

I mean, it's called AMA not AMAAIWA (and I will answer), lol

BigBabyBurke3 karma

I like where your heads at

BigBabyBurke6 karma

Op didn't think. He forgot his ama due to intense Christmas tree haggling.

WhereIsNormalcy29 karma

What's the most expensive tree you've ever sold? Oh, and, my cousin always gets his xmas tree on xmas eve ( tonight).I always thought he was an ass for doing that, glad someone else thinks it's an asshole thing to do too.

FLICKinBEANs25 karma

I've sold a 20 foot tree that was around 900 dollars.

slpgh5 karma

How do you transport a 20 foot tree to a residential address?

FuckoffDemetri16 karma

In my experience you tie it to the top of an suv and hope for the best

BigBabyBurke7 karma

Gotta make sure you use the 3mm thick twine for that extra secure tie down.

Psotnik10 karma

Probably on a trailer. Think about it, movers and landscaping and construction all haul 20' trailers through residential areas in the regular.

BigBabyBurke7 karma

We actually do deliveries. We have a big box truck that we use. It's fairly expensive to get it delivered. Every time I've gone on a delivery it's to a mansion. When we deliver a tree we don't just drop it off at the front door, we actually bring it inside and set everything up. So if you got the money I see how it would be appealing.

RediscoveredIllusion14 karma

It's not an asshole thing to do if you're not blaming the employees for the selection and don't ask it to be discounted an extra 50℅ off the taken markdown. Come in Xmas Eve and have to choose between a five foot tall, five foot wide light green tree with stiff needles and a 7 foot, two foot wide that's brown and thank the employees? You're good. Bitch like it's my fault every store on the planet is out of whatever Xmas gift was on top of Oprah's 'your family will disown you if you don't buy this' list but you waited until Xmas Eve to shop for it? Yeah I'm going to be unsympathetic.

Sorry, I've got issues probably best suited for r/talesfromretail lol. Thanks for bringing Xmas cheer to the masses!

BigBabyBurke2 karma

Exactly. I do love helping people and it's especially rewarding when you help a really nice family pick out that perfect tree and see them all happy and excited to go home and decorate. Towards the end when Christmas is a couple days away there's a completely different crowd.

BigBabyBurke7 karma

The most expensive one that I've sold was only 250. The most expensive one that someone purchased (this season) was a little over 400. Honestly we don't make money by having expensive trees. Granted the prices are probably more than in most places but most of the money comes from quantity. At our stand alone we sold around 2500 trees. The average price of a tree is about $90. The trees coupled with all the other items we sell (garland, wreaths, decorations, tree stands, etc..) is how the stand is so successful.

Fallout_is_dank23 karma

Nog or choccy milk?

BigBabyBurke-68 karma

Nog before work to deal with rich, entitled people. Choccy milk after for the protein. Most of the trees weight between 100-200 pounds. The BIG ones weight closer to 300. Makes for a good workout.

OK so apparently I caused a little mess with this comment. I can't speak for every Christmas tree ever bought/ sold, but I can elaborate on what I said and why. The trees are fraser firs and they come from North Carolina (type of tree and location might differ than trees you've had). Most of the weight comes from the trunk, a majority of the trees we have that are over 7ft, have a diameter of 7-8 inches at the bottom of the trunk (after a fresh cut). Some of the taller trees 10-15 ft have a base diameter of a foot or more. Some.... Most of them don't go past 10 inches. Now I didn't put them on a scale and get an actual measurement of weight. The way I was measuring/ assuming the weight was by how I carried/lifted the tree. I would lift them by clean and jerking. That's how I arrived at the conclusion of 100-200 pounds. The 300 was more of a white lie. There were 2 occasion where I truly believe they got to around 300 pounds; it was situational and they both occured within the same day. It rained the night before and then everything froze. 2 families came in that morning and both purchased a pink tag tree, meaning it's more than 9ft, I don't know there exact height it wasn't something I thought I would have to defend later so I didn't take note of it. Both trees were completely covered in ice. I couldn't clean and jerk the trees up and onto the car like I would normally do. My max PR for clean and jerk is 355. Since I couldn't clean and jerk the tree, and given I was trying to throw an ice covered tree above my head, I just assumed it was around 300, probably a little less. And I was responding to "nog or choccy milk?" Didn't think y'all would be that critical of my answer.

Edit: I didn't change previous text just adding on (2nd paragraph is what I added)


tucci00712 karma

why ain't you working?

BigBabyBurke4 karma

"Generic excuse"

Kasia49378 karma

Do you give discounts close to Christmas to get rid of the trees?

BigBabyBurke2 karma

We do and it's actually pretty frustrating. The last couple days all the trees were 50% off. People that come that late to get a tree IMO tend to be really cheap. Once you tell them that it's half off they see it as an invitation to haggle, not just the tree but everything we have for sale. I find it frustrating cuz I just do the labor, I'm not management and I don't have control over pricing. I would tell them I don't control prices but it's like they would see that as a haggling technique and keep trying to get a lower price or free stuff.

BigBabyBurke7 karma

Holy shit this actually blew up. Sorry for not responding. I got off work at 7 and I'm driving 13 hours to Florida in order to see my grandparents on Christmas. I just pulled into a rest stop and checked my post. I'm really sorry I haven't been able to answer your questions. Once I get to my grandparents I'll answer all your questions. Merry Christmas.

BigBabyBurke4 karma

OK so Im taking a break from driving and my brother took over. I'm gonna do my best to answer everyone's questions and maybe add some more info. If any of you are still following this thread I do apologize. Ive never done an Ama before, or participated in one. An hour after I created this post it didn't seem to get much traction and once I got off work at the stand I was getting everything packed for this car ride.

Lowpass867 karma

Do you generally get tipped well?

I worked at a tree farm as one of my first jobs when I was 14-15 and I never got to help many people, mainly because the older guys had been there a season or more longer.

5 days before christmas, the two main guys happened to be on their break and a large SUV pulled up. Out stepped none other than STING, the wrestler.

long story short I ended up selling him a super expensive tree and he tipped me $100. No one had EVER been tipped that much before so it was one of the most rad moments of my life pretty much.

BigBabyBurke3 karma

Damn that's sick. I've never met anyone famous at my stand. Biggest tip I ever got was 50. First couple weekends after Thanksgiving I was getting about 500 over the weekend (fri-sun)

l_AM_NOT_A_COP6 karma

I did this in my high school years at a farm market in NJ. Gooood times. Have you ever had a custoner ask to tie the tree themselves and lose a car door handle?

Have you ever refused a tip?

BigBabyBurke5 karma

I have had a Couple Macho dad's that would grab the tree after I did all the trimming and take it to their car. Most of the time when they did that they had a truck and would just toss it into the bed. I've never heard of tying it to the doorhandles, that seems unsafe.

I have refused tips before but it's not because of anything bad. Anytime one of my good friends or their family would come I would refuse and tell them that I was always happy to help them out. If they really insisted I would graciously accept.

LPT: if someone offers you money it's okey to refuse. If you refuse and they offer again, accept it. If you refuse again it's impolite and can be awkward.

Edit: grammar

Jabernathy905 karma

Have you ever caught anybody trying to have sexual relations with the one of the trees?

BigBabyBurke9 karma

I've never caught anyone but nobody has caught me either ;)

milkysatan4 karma

How do you get the tree sap out of your clothing after work?

BigBabyBurke2 karma

The trees aren't very sappy. The trunks are a little bit but I wear gloves. I probably get some on my clothes along with sawdust and a ton of needles. I just throw it in the washing machine and I've never had a problem.

Alpacatastic3 karma

What is the most ridiculous question you been asked? Thanks for the AMA.

BigBabyBurke11 karma

On December 23rd. "When are you going to get another shipment of trees?"

xevus113 karma

Whats the dumbest thing a customer has demanded?

BigBabyBurke5 karma

That I should go home with them to help them bring in the tree and try the meatloaf the wife made.

timberwizard7 karma

I believe that was an invitation for sex.

BigBabyBurke4 karma

OMG I'm an idiot. All the signs were there... Ffffuuuu

wyvernwy3 karma

Does anyone specifically request a Yule item?

BigBabyBurke1 karma

I don't know what that is and I don't remember anyone asking me about one

weaselboogs3 karma

What kind of markup ? What kind of profit per tree ?

BigBabyBurke2 karma

I don't know and it's one of those things that me and the other laborers sometimes talk about. We can estimate the total amount that he makes but we don't know how much goes into the overhead and inventory.

PyroZach3 karma

We've used artificial tree's all my life. My girl friends family has always had real ones. This year they didn't get one, she was kind of upset. I stumbled upon this picture in another sub reddit and thought something like that would be the perfect last minute tree. But then I started wondering if any place would have them any just how ridiculously priced they would be. I wound up wandering the forest realizing how crappy wild pine trees are and finding her a sort of decent one and trimming it tree shaped.

But yeah, how much would some little novelty thing like on the back of this bike usually cost?

big_orange_ball6 karma

I used to sell christmas trees and honestly shit like that is free. People will pick out a normal tree and ask for the top to be trimmed a bit so stuff like that gets thrown in the pile for people to pick up to make wreaths and shit out of. We always had people who would come by and pick up scraps.

BigBabyBurke2 karma


i_use_this_for_work2 karma

How big is a white tag tree?

BigBabyBurke1 karma


i_use_this_for_work2 karma

Weak. Talk to me about 11ft Frasiers...

BigBabyBurke1 karma

They would be individually priced. What's your limit on the width. We have a couple that are 11 or taller. We have one where the width of the bottom, where the branches hang, are 4 feet and we have one that's closer to 6 feet.

maitea692 karma

What is the standard tip you receive for helping prep the tree and load it up onto a car?

BigBabyBurke2 karma

Most common is 5. There would be days where like 8 people would tip me 20. First couple weekend's after Thanksgiving I was getting around 500 total in tips for friday-sunday

prxchampion2 karma

Have you ever sold a tree to somebody you have had sex with in the past or maybe you banged after you sold it to them?

BigBabyBurke3 karma

Maybe I should have made this an AMAA

ninja_finger2 karma

Do you work at that place in the little shopping center in Malibu, next to the 1?

BigBabyBurke1 karma

No it's in northern VA

Punky_Bastard2 karma

Best and worst customer, you've ever experienced?

asewesley11 karma

Not OP, but I used to volunteer on a tree lot in high school.

We would have ~50 trees lined up on the stacks at a time, and one customer came and had me pull out each and spin around every single one so he could inspect them.

When he wasn't satisfied with those, he had me cut the wrappings off and display a dozen of the ones we had sitting on a slope nearby.

He then without buying anything. That prick.

BigBabyBurke2 karma

My worst customer is very similar to this but no where near the extent of dickory that u/asewesley had to suffer. Some customers are just so lazy and entitled they rather you pick up the entire tree stand and rotate rather than walk to the other side of the tree.

BigBabyBurke5 karma

So for best customer. Last year, I was closing one night and this family came in after I had brought all the chainsaws in and put up the signs. They said they would come back another time but I said i didn't mind (it was a husband, wife, and 3 sons). After talking to them for a couple minutes I found out the sons all go to the highschool I went to and the eldest was a freshman my senior year. It was obvious that this was a really nice family. We talked for a bit, made some jokes, and the whole family seemed to like me. This year they came back to see me and get a tree (they stopped by 2 days earlier, asked if I still worked there and said they would come back). When they came the 2nd time their whole family was there; the wife, husband, and 3 sons. I helped them find a tree and we made jokes and talked for a bit; the wife got a job working for the parking services at my university. After I finished tying the tree to there car they said they wanted to give me something. I assumed it was a tip but one of the sons opens up the back of the car and pulls out a cake. It was a chocolate cake that the wife made for me. We talked for a bit longer and they left to set up their tree. It's the best tip I've ever gotten. It's shown me that small gestures of kindness can have a long lasting impact.

Capnshiner2 karma

How do you feel about them balsams? Do the needles fall off?

BigBabyBurke1 karma

I'm not sure what a balsam is. If you're talking about a Christmas tree I have no knowledge of it. The only tree I'm familiar with is fraser fir

j_buck_rock2 karma

Is it a liability for you to be the one tying the tree to the roof of a vehicle? What if it falls off?

BigBabyBurke1 karma

I don't know. Probably. I really should know this

True2this2 karma

Anyone else hate having to save images like this and rotate them yourself or is it just me?

BigBabyBurke4 karma

Yeah that shit sux. You could troll people by doing it on purpose and getting your post to the front-page

eneka2 karma

What's the difference between the cheap and nice bow?

BigBabyBurke1 karma

The quality. The cheap ones will fall apart easier and tend to lose their 'fluffyness'. The nicer ones are made of better quality, usually water/snow resistant, and will last you years if you store it well

Tripleshotlatte1 karma

one of the wealthiest parts of the U.S.

So the Bay Area I guess?

BigBabyBurke3 karma

Next to Tyson's corner mall in northern Virginia

Thejapxican1 karma

Same goes for retail. "What'dya mean your sold out?" Good grief.

BigBabyBurke3 karma

What do you mean you don't have any more trees. Can't you just order more??????

innuentendo64-2 karma

What made you think people wanted to ask you things?

BigBabyBurke3 karma

But you just asked me a question.......

innuentendo641 karma

because its the only question I want answered and nobody asked it yet

BigBabyBurke1 karma

Idk. I really didn't think anyone would be interested. I was quite surprised when it got over 200 upvotes

BigBabyBurke-2 karma

The image is our price sheet for everything we sell. Sorry that it is sideways. Op is not a smart man.

FoggyFlowers9 karma


BigBabyBurke3 karma

Next to Tyson's corner, VA. 20 minutes from DC. The reason for the pricing is the amount we get. We sold over 2000 trees this season. It gets to a point where lowering price actually increases profit.