IamA Swedish welfare worker at a home for unaccompanied child refugees, AMA!

Just said my last goodbyes to a kid from Gambia who is being sent back to Italy.

This fucking job breaks my heart sometimes.

Are the kids able to attend Swedish public school?

Yes, when they first get here there are special preparation classes they attend with other refugees, and after that they get assigned to a real class. Not all public schools do this though, so you often have individual schools that are completely swamped with refugees while other nearby schools are more or less without them. This becomes problematic with certain schools where a large number of kids get introduced to, shall we say, "bad influences". I know for a fact at least one school that a lot of refugee minors attend has had a problem with overt drug use for many years.

I'm a teacher at junior high school and elementary school. Good luck to you and the kids. It's an important time in their life that will define who they will become as adults.

Thank you! We sure have our work cut out for us ;) Then again, so do you!

Honestly thank you so much for what you do.

I immigrated to the US from Pakistan when I was a child and didn't speak any English. I'm a millionaire now and it's almost entirely because of the ESL/ elementary teachers from K-12. My education saved me. People like you changed my life.

I want to be happy for your comment, but I'm too busy being super jelly that you're rolling in the millions.

Stupid inspirational American Dream story...

lol low 1s homie... still counts!

Seriously I would be nothing if America hadn't let me in. It changed me and my entire family's life. It'll happen in Europe- somewhere in Sweden or Germany is a Syrian refugee kid who's gonna be somebody some day.

Hope he's one of my kids.

That way I can call in favours!

Hi thank you for sharing your experience on Reddit, I would like to ask you , what made you take this job?

At the risk of sounding like a heartless bastard: The paycheck.

I used to work in elderly care, but the paycheck for this job was just so much bigger in comparison that I switched. I know that sounds cynical, but that's just how it is. Very few people would want to take this job if the wages were the same as a comparable job in elderly care. So the government throws a shitton of money at anyone who's willing to open a refugee home just so that they'll get the manpower necessary. (They also do it because wasting money is easier than having to make hard decisions)

I'd love to say that I took this job because I really care about the kids and I want to help them, but that just wouldn't be true. I do care about them, don't get me wrong, but this job can be very thankless and stressful. That's not to say that there aren't wonderful moments here and there, but overall it is a grating experience. Even with the paychecks we have a big problem with staff often leaving due to overwork, which of course stresses the kids out because they're constantly losing familiar faces. That makes work harder for the rest of us. And the hours. Don't even get me started on the hours. No, if the paycheck wasn't what it is, I'd be back in elderly care.

Thanks for the answer, im completly ignorant with this subject, but the government of your country, how do they decide how much people they will let in to take care? Because, all that money spent on refugees are from taxes. Whats the general opinion about the government spending on foregein persons? Not trying to sound offensive , but its the truth.

There are no limits to how many refugees Sweden could potentially have to take in. If you apply for asylum in Sweden, the government has to let you stay until your case has been processed. Just the same, if someone is found to have a valid claim to seek asylum, they have to be allowed to stay. The only way someone can be sent out of Sweden is if:

They volunteer to leave by themselves

Their asylum application is rejected

Their case falls under the Dublin Convention, which is when an asylum seeker is sent back to the first country he or she applied for asylum in.

If a person leaves off their own free will, either before the application process is finished or after a rejection, they get around 3000 dollars to take with them back home. Otherwise they are removed from the country by force, stripped of any right to return for a period of some years, and are given a substantially smaller sum of money. It's a system designed to try and get as many asylum seekers out of the country without being overt or offensive about it (i.e. it's a way to deflect blame from the government).

Public opinion is mixed in Sweden. There's a broad concensus, however, that the government has acted inefficiently in response to the crisis. Some people feel they haven't been welcoming enough, some feel they haven't been strict enough. Either way, the government has been plagued by inaction ever since the crisis started. The most significant decision it has undertaken is to enact border controls along the Denmark-Sweden border to stop refugees from coming here in the first place. This has been somewhat effective in stemming the tide of refugees.

In my personal view, the biggest problem with how the government has handled this crisis is information. For one, the people of Sweden have not been allowed to know just how much this crisis will cost the country. Whether you are for or against immigration, you have a right to know what its implications and consequences are. This has led to a lot of frustration and many people defaulting to being completely against immigration simply as a defense mechanism against potential economic woes.

Just the same, there is a lack of information on behalf of the refugees. Many relatives living in Europe as well as a good few number of smugglers try and big up Sweden as a utopia for refugees where you get your own cellphone, computer and bicycle. This makes it harder for refugees to make accurate risk-to-benefit calculations for coming here. It also has a side-effect of making some of them incredibly demanding and even somewhat spoilt when they come here. The government has been unwilling to campaign for more accurate information about for instance the time it takes to process an asylum application. Countries like Denmark have managed this fairly effectively, although whether or not you look to Denmark as a good example of handling the refugee crisis depends greatly.

To summarize, Sweden has become a divided country over the issue of immigration, largely because of silence and inaction from the government. There is increasing worry of inflating costs and failed integration both short-term and long-term, and little is done to combat these worries. All in all, a lot more could be done to improve the situation for everyone involved.

I live in a third world country and my opinion the best way to solve this problem with the refugees is by, making they governments in their countries effective, make the superpowers of the world to help them solve their economic failures, and cease holities there sending more troops to pacify those regions in Syria. But well the problem comes when those regions/countries you want to help, come with the sovereignty thing, and all help will be called imperialistic while their population is suffering their incompetence.

Frankly, of Syria had a stable government (like Iran, for example 1960s Egypy), isn't there a chance there would still be war and famine? After all Egypt started a war with Israel and Iran constantly threatens to start one. Even in stable countries, sectarian fighting is a problem, and persecution of minorities of various kinds is worse in Muslim countries of all kinds, regions and stability levels.

I think a harsh reality we need to face is that, while what you say of the regions and stability are definitely true, it is still the lesser of two evils.

What would you clarify to those who have negative views about refugees? Thanks for doing this AmA..

That under similar circumstances, we would all be just the same as them, just as flawed as them, just as human as them.

I work with kids who are spoiled, rude, bigoted, selfish, greedy, lazy, combative, contrarian, smelly, and a whole bunch of other negative traits. In other words:

I WORK WITH TEENAGERS

Not "muslims", not "niggers", not "terrorists", just teenagers. They are just like any other kid you'd meet on the street. Give them too much and they'll want more, scold them too much and they'll resent you, try and find an inbetween and go fucking insane because taking care of children is a really hard job no matter if you are a parent or a teacher or a welfare worker. I don't see people asking the government to put their children on a plane to Kabul because they can't appreciate how good they've got it, yet so many people seem to think that because refugees aren't angels they deserve to die in a ditch thousands of miles away.

There are some really, really hard choices that need to be made when it comes to how we should handle this refugee crisis. Choices that will lead to suffering no matter what we do. Choices that will hurt us to make, choices that might break us if we make them. But dehumanizing the people those choices will affect the most will not make it any easier. It will just make us monsters.

Can you tell me if the racial tension issue is getting more and more serious in Sweden?

Yes and no. In a way it has reduced significantly. There are less refugee accommodations getting burned to the ground, less reports of racists attacking people in the media, less offensive statements from the more controversial political parties. It certainly feels like racial tensions are diminishing, albeit slightly. But that's on a very shallow plane, and even then it's something that comes in waves. I have a South American co-worker who told me how when the Paris attacks happened people confronted him in the streets and asked if he was Muslim and a terrorist. And regularly I talk with kids who encounter racism in the streets.

It's quite difficult to ascertain the extent to the racial tensions here in Sweden, because so much is bubbling under the surface. For now I'm cautiously optimistic.

Fellow Swede here:

I feel that we have, finally, managed to ridicule the neonazis out of the spotlight. Sane people don't see them as an alternative, and people are finally speaking up against them.

So, yes, things are looking a bit brighter, but we certainly can't relax, there is much work left to do in the battle against racism. For example, we still have a nazi party in the parliament.

I think as well that we're becoming more comfortable with speaking pragmatically about the refugee crisis. The Sweden Democrats gained popularity because they offered the only alternative to complacency in the face of a serious dilemma. Doesn't matter that their alternative was batshit or that the party is made up of incredibly sketchy individuals, they were given a monopoly on critical views on immigration and it played into their hands.

Politics need a middle ground. It needs balanced views and compromise. Without that, populism will thrive on both sides of the political spectrum. We must dare to listen to things we might not agree with, otherwise we will be forced to listen to things that disgust us.

You speak of Swede on refugee racism, but what about the reverse: rapes, sharia patrols, making accommodations for Islam, etc? According to wikipedia, Sweden experieced 69 rapes per 100k people, most acts being committed by Muslim refugees.

The AMA is long over but the reason Sweden has a high number of rapes is because it has one of the most extensive definitions of rape. Most things which are "just" considered sexual assault in other countries are considered rape in Sweden. I'm honestly surprised you didn't see this if you looked on Wikipedia.

It ain't over til I say it's over!

I ain't letting yall off the hook until someone gilds me for this shit!

Random Swede here, just my 0.05 SEK: There is tension for sure, but I wouldn't say it's racial tension.

One one hand, conservatives and the political right are getting more and more vocal and feeling more and more comfortable with publicly saying things that would probably have you faced with a charge of hate speech just 10 years ago. People are saying out loud what they might have thought "everybody is thinking it but no-one is saying it" for a long time.

On the other hand, there is increasing resistance and reaction to this, primarily on the political left. People doing voluntary work; projects to increase understanding between different socio-economic, cultural and ethnic groups; political activism; the whole spectrum.

And an increasing amount of the population who are realizing the complexities of the issues while feeling nervous about that if we don't find new ways to work this out, the tensions between those two groups might escalate into something pretty bad.

Another random swede here. I'm afraid I can't really offer 0.05 SEK, as Sweden no longer mints coins representing amounts below 1 SEK ;)

This is definitely shaping up to be one of those periods of history that brings out both the best and the worst in people.

I've read of people who have sent death threats to politicians for proposing the building of refugee housing in their quaint little suburbias, if only to keep the real estate prices from dropping... Reading such things makes me feel disgusted to share my nationality with these people.

Then, on the other side, I've seen people band together to donate money and clothing or do volunteer work to help refugees. And that... that just warms my heart.

And I've seen some of the responses to my thread!

Oy vey...

What cultural barriers interfere with your work?

Too many to count, it often feels like. I'll give you an example.

I have a co-worker who is kurdish, and he told me that kurds never praise failure. In Sweden if you're playing a game of football and you try to shoot on goal but miss, everyone will praise you for doing your best and push you to try harder. Kurds on the other hand might berate you for failing. He said this in the context of how confusing it must be for some of the kids to fail at something and still be praised for the effort. It doesn't make sense to them.

But by far the biggest cultural barrier is how our cultures different in how we view adulthood. Their cultures almost always consider adulthood to be somewhere in the early teens, whereas we, quite rightly, believe it's somewhere between 18 and 21. So when they come here and are treated as the kids they are, they get super confused. When we boss them around and give them rules, they get frustrated. They think they are adults and we are treating them as kids, when really they are just kids.

There's also the matter of honor. Western and Middle-eastern ideas of honor are incredibly different from one another. In the West, honor is something you earn. You start as a tabula rasa and gradually gain more and more as you perform respectable feats and carry yourself well. In the Middle-east, honor is something you have from the beginning, like a big tank of gas, and whenever you do something dishonorable that tank is emptied. This also becomes difficult when dealing with refugees. They expect you to immediately treat them with respect, while you feel that they haven't done a thing to earn it. If this discrepancy isn't adressed it can cause conflict.

Sounds like an episode of star trek. Interesting!

It is our moral imperative to care for these Klingon refugees whose homeland has been ravaged by the Dominion!

Jesus you must want to punch some of those kids. The thought of a young teenager swanning around demanding respect whilst I work my ass of to help them is infuriating.

It really is, and sometimes I really do. One time a kid started crying because he didn't get the new iPhone. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders, shake him and scream "WE ARE LITERALLY SAVING YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW, APPRECIATE IT". I can't, of course, because that'd just be counter-productive.

You have a lot more patience and understanding than I do.

Wouldn't last in this job if I didn't.

Did any of the other kids get an iPhone? Where did the idea of getting an iPhone come from?

As early as when they first decided to come here, I strongly suspect. It's what people tell them Sweden is like. "If you go there they'll give you the latest smartphone, they'll give you a computer, they'll give you a gym membership." There have been kids who on their first day in Sweden ask if we have Wifi.

We get everyone really cheap Huawei phones second hand for maybe 50 dollars. Then they have to use their own welfare checks to save up and buy a better phone if they want one.

Do you know how much in SEK they get a month in welfare?

Are you a woman or a man btw?

24 SEK a day if they live in accommodation where we cook for them.

500 SEK a week if they pay for food themselves.

They also get around 1000 SEK a month for attending school. This is revoked if they are absent from too many classes.

As for your other question...

Surely leaving one's home and family, friends, and cultural comforts behind-- often under immediate duress-- to make the often perilous journey to a country where you don't even know the language confers some personal sense of "honor" and accomplishment upon those young people who've undertaken it?

Personally, I'd be inclined to cut them some slack -- just as I would a bratty kid undergoing chemo, for example, or one who is trying to recover from a car crash wiped out his/her entire family.

Thanks for your work and for this AMA, btw! :-)

Not how their view of honor works, I'm afraid. Rather than gain honor from accomplishing a task, they lose honor from failing it.

And I'm afraid cutting them some slack is not always the best method. It can make our job much more difficult. For instance, if you let them get away with not cleaing up in the tv-room after themselves, next time they might make an even bigger mess, or not clean up in the kitchen, or sass the staff when they tell them to clean up and claim it's our job. This job very easily becomes a power-struggle between kids and staff, and they will seize every opportunity to get out of doing what we tell them to.

I'm assuming you're not allowed to enforce the old Mother's Edict: If you don't finish your chores, you don't get dinner.

Or: If I find it on the floor, I throw it out. Or: If you leave the TV room a mess, I confiscate the TV.

Are you allowed to enter and search their rooms and common areas at will? If not, it must be awful trying to guide then to responsible citizenship while you're being constrained by the authorities.

Our way of handling it is somewhat roundabout. If they don't clean up after themselves, we don't either. This filthies up common areas and hopefully gets the other kids in on pushing the offender to clean up after themselves. If it doesn't work we get in touch with his Good man, basically his legal guardian when in Sweden. Then we have many talks with him trying to get him to understand why being so resistant to what we tell him to do is a bad idea that will get him punished. His Good man can withhold money and decline to help him buy clothes. We can also refuse the kid access to planned activities, like paintball or football tournaments. Most of them cave quickly.

We do have access to their rooms. We always give them their privacy when they are there and don't want to be disturbed, but every day we take rounds in every room and apartment to see that nothing flammable is there (e.g. Plugged in charger when nobody's home). This is also when we confiscate illegal things we find like alcohol or drugs.

What tangible benefits, if any, do you think Sweden gets from taking in so many refugees?

This is a very difficult question, because any answer I can give comes with a number of counterpoints.

You could argue that Sweden gets an economic benefit from an increased workforce. The population of ethnic Swedes shrinks every year and a large portion of Swedish citizens get University degrees and work in professions with high demands on skill and knowledge. An injection of people willing to work low-skill jobs can provide a boon for the Swedish economy and stave of stagnation.

On the other hand, the Swedish economy is very advanced, and as such the need for low-skill work is quite small. In the future it might very well shrink even more due to the robotization of manufacturing. Furthermore, what little low-skill work there is is protected by unions and collective bargaining that keeps wages high. As such it might be very difficult to find jobs, and unemployment rises. Studies show that after 7 years of being in the country not even half of refugees have found work.

You could argue that Sweden benefits on a social and cultural level. Multiculturalism can add value to Swedish culture, foster broader sympathy and understanding to foreign cultures and help create a more tolerant society.

On the other hand, Sweden was even before the crisis facing serious issues of segregation. Immigrants flooded into suburban areas with low housing costs as middle-class Swedes moved to more affluent areas. As most are aware, segregation leads to growing social woes, and the issues of the suburbs have expressed themselves with occasional rioting and increased hostility and even violence against police and social workers. These problems will be aggravated by taking in more refugees. The situation isn't help by an unhealthy housing market that keeps prices of houses high.

You could argue that Sweden benefits on a moral level. We provide a shining example of taking in as many as we can no matter the cost, showing human lives outweigh economic costs. We can help spearhead initiatives for more countries to to the same.

On the other hand, the inability of the Swedish government to act in any meaningful way against growing costs and increasing processing times, while also engaging in quite morally hypocritical behaviour such as suddenly guarding its borders after years of doing nothing comparable, has eroded much of the moral fiber of Sweden in the eyes of the world. Countries now point to Sweden as a bad example, a country that wouldn't take necessary measures and now has to pay the consequences. Furthermore, even before the crisis Sweden has been criticized for amongst other things not handling the cases of unaccompanied children with enough sensitivity. Last week Human Rights Watch strongly criticized Sweden for mot prioritizing children enough.

As you can tell, under current circumstances any benefit to Sweden, short- or longterm, is not terribly snificant. That's not to say these issues can't be turned around, but for them to be solved they must first be acknowledged. And to acknowledge these issues means acknowledging that the refugee crisis has a negative impact on the country. The government is unwilling to do this as it might sway public opinion against immigration and lead to a conservative victory next election.

So overall the current situation looks pretty bleak. Sweden needs to confront the truth that there are no easy solutions and try to act in the way that least damages the country. What this course of action would be I do not know, but we'll never find out if we don't actively search for it.

So mostly costs - very few benefits.

Doing what's right is not always benefitial

What's right is to spend those 800,000 SEK per year each unaccompanied alleged child currently costs on the fully covered education of a few thousand school girls in Africa and Afghanistan instead. Multiply with about 50,000 (current number of unaccompanied alleged children in Sweden) and we could cover the full annual education of about one hundred million (100,000,000) African and Afghan girls.

I know what's the most humanistic thing to do. Do you?

Accepting your numbers, there's still the issue of what do we do with these people at our doorstep who desperately need our help? We do have to turn them away to focus all our money on people somewhere else.

Sorry for accidentally posting the comment early! You must have been confused by your inbox

Accepting your numbers, there's still the issue of what do we do with these people at our doorstep who desperately need our help? We do have to turn them away to focus all our money on people somewhere else.

I don't know. The main problem - root of the evil, if I may call it that - is that they're basically thrown out of Afghanistan by their clan leaders. Maybe if we spend some money to bribe the clan leaders not to send their young men to Sweden? I genuinely feel sorry for those young men who come here desperate and that are humiliated to pretend to be 16-17 and treated like they're 12. I think those that are genuinely above 16 belong in the much cheaper managed normal asylum homes, you're not a kid when you're 16. The number of unaccompanied proper children under 16 is most likely much much lower than the current number 50,000 of unaccompanied alleged children and that can be managed and we don't have to use aid money meant (or that could've been used) for people in desperate need in situ.

There's one thing for certain: We can do a lot more for the people of Afghanistan than what we're doing now.

What is the right thing to do? Is it morally right to use all available resources to help a few, instead of using those resources to try and help as many as possible?

This is a very good argument. Sadly, due to how the Swedish government has handled the crisis, you could very well say that less people are being helped at a higher cost. Simply the fact that the government used money from the foreign aid budget, which we use to help starving people in Africa and Asia, to pay for the refugee crisis here, makes it very hard to argue that what we're doing is the best thing.

I think much of the problem was that we quickly needed housing for a lot of people, and getting housing quickly costs money.

Had there been better advance planning, everything would have been both cheaper and smoother.

It doesn't help the budget that there are domestic terrorists burning down refugee housing by the dozens either...

The problem wasn't that the crisis cost money. The problem was that the government was afraid of slicing the domestic budget or raising taxes to pay for it, because then public opinion might turn against immigration and play into the hands of the right. So they used subterfuge instead.

There is no excuse for taking from the foreign aid budget to pay for domestic issues. If their intentions had been pure they would have simply cut the foreign aid budget and reallocate the money elsewhere. That would have been the honest thing to do, even if it wouldn't have been the moral thing to do. As it stands it was both dishonest and immoral.

What was the funniest and/or most enjoyable moment for you? Any Good memories in general? Bad ones?

There are many good memories. Just now I helped a kid from Eritrea mend his broken shirt with needle and a thread. He looked at my awful stitchwork, then looked me in the eyes and said "Just like how my mom does it." He was almost teary eyed from how touched he was. I admit it made me teary eyed too. Every moment where they show trust or admiration in you is a good moment.

As for funniest, I remember this one time when a bunch of Afghan kids were spending the night watching Persian music videos. Suddenly they call me in.

"What do you want?" I ask. "Please dance for us!" they reply.

And dance I did. I danced like Kevin Bacon in footlose. I danced like John Travolta in Grease. I danced and danced, and suddenly I found that they were dancing with me. There we were, 8 of us in a tiny room, dancing like crazy to music I didn't understand one word of. I still brag about that moment to my co-workers.

Do the migrants complain about winter weather in Sweden?

Quite a bit, yes. At the same time they like our summers. They're not as hot as they have them at home and the air is not as humid, so they find it quite pleasant.

What migrants from Africa really struggle with is our sun, especially at winter. They are not used to so much darkness in a day. Many of them have a hard time adjusting and take to sleeping in the day and being awake at night because they're so used to sleeping when it's bright outside. This is, obviously, detrimental to their integration into Swedish society, but it's a process of adjustment you really can't stress.

i'm in the US and if you believe certain things you read there are gang of refugees raping Swedish women at will while the Swedish govt prevents the police from stopping it.

that sounds too much like someone's sexual fantasy to be true

can you comment about this?

Gang of refugees raping women thanks to government intervention? No. Gangs of refugees sexually harassing and molesting women without the police investigating it out of fears of stoking xenophobic fires? Sadly, yes.

It's not an epidemic of rape, as some would have you believe, but it is a systematic failure of the government to instill Swedish values on sexual liberation and women's rights with people who come here. Integration is always more difficult with adults, because they are very set in their ways and often conservative, and so it's vitally important to prioritize sexual education. This is not always accomplished, and when it is it does not always have intended results.

That the police has declined to both investigate and reveal that this happens, and in the case of the now infamous We Are Sthlm festival happens on a large and organized scale, is, I'll be honest, fucking terrifying. I don't think there was anyone who wasn't horrified by this news. Gender rights is one of the things Sweden is most proud of, and to see them violated not only by the people we thought we were saving from death, but ignored by the people we thought protected us, is as close as you can come to shatter a country's self-image. It was irresponsible, it was disgusting, it is a great source of shame.

I know several women, of them including my wife, who have been subjected to sexual harassment on the street in the middle of the day by dark-skinned people who didn't speak the language. So for me to say that it's all wrong, that this is not an issue and that Sweden is just as safe now for women as it was before the crisis, well that just wouldn't be true. But it is a top priority to inform and educate on these issues, and it does work to discourage this kind of behaviour.

I personally believe that the safety of the original citizens of a country should be prioritised over the opportunity for somebody to seek refuge in that country. Therefore I believe migration should be restricted to low numbers. What is your feeling on this?

I believe migration should be adjusted to whatever level where we can be comfortable in knowing that they'll get the proper education and integration that they need to become citizens like ourselves. If we can't reach that level, then we either spend more on migrants or take in less. As such I can't arbitrarily decide on low or high numbers of migration, it depends on what a country can handle.

Sweden is clearly not able to handle these levels, however.

Most likely too many replies for your great posts. But as a Dane I hear this argument being thrown all over: "we must take in as many as we can as long as they get proper educated and integrated". However, how many migrant is this? And is there a difference between migrants from one place compared to another? I mean, most people are aware we must help, but what are the exact numbers you think?

This is where the difficulty lies, because it's very hard to know how much we can manage. It's not just a question of money but also of manpower: The SFI (Swedish for Immigrants) gets a lot of money from the government but they're still massively failing in educating migrants because they simply can't keep up with the pressure. Even with refugee accommodations like the one I work at, eventually you're going to run out of available manpower no matter how much you raise wages.

It gets worse when it comes to segregation. No matter how successful we are at integrating people, they will immediately be alienated from the broader society if we have segregated suburbs. Often I hear kids at work talk about immigrant-heavy areas in my city as "our" places, like they are separate from us. This is dangerous, and will get aggravated by immigration. We can forcefully reallocate people to combat segregation, but that's socialism on a level even the Left Party might be uncomfortable with (at least their party leader would be, seeing as how he lives in Östermalm).

I have no answers, none of us do. How could we? All we can ask for, all we can push for, is that our leaders have real, honest discussions about these issues and show that they are aware of the consequences of certain actions. At present most political discussion in Sweden is a shouting match, and compromise and difficult choices are political suicide. Our government is simply not mature enough to handle this crisis.

sorry, i meant while the govt tries to cover up the situation

ok, so there IS a problem but its not as bad as some here would have us believe

you're working with kids and they, likely, won't be a problem.

the question is, do you know what's being done with the adults?

Not as bad still doesn't mean it's not severe enough a problem that it isn't a legitimate reason for not wanting to take in more refugees. Like I said, I myself am terrified.

Minors are in a uniquely difficult situation. First of all, yes, minors can definitely be a problem. There have been especially many reports of sexual harassment by refugee minors at local swimming halls. I trust many of my kids, but far from all kids in Sweden.

I have had conversations with local politicians, and there are measurements in place to try and solve the issue with the adults. Many seminars touch exclusively upon the issue of gender rights in Sweden. It's probably increased since the incident with We Are Sthlm. Worth noting with We Are Sthlm is that the decision not to investigate or report the sexual assaults were undertaken by the police force independently from the rest of government. So a lot of politicians are probably just as furious with them as the rest of us.

I work as hard as I can to make sure that my boys turn into those kinds of monsters, and so do my co-workers.

Please edit this at some point? This being reddit and all . . . . .

Good point...

What can we do to help?

Donate clothes, donate things, arrange activities with your neighbours to hang out with the kids. Make them feel part of the community. That's the best thing you can do, and we really appreciate it.

I am wondering, since you worked with many minors through your career, have there been any horror stories that this kids shared with you (war, home violence,...)? Or you don't go that deep and just stay at superficial relationships?

Oh, they tell me stuff. They tell me some fucked up stuff. I think the worst story I ever heard came from a Syrian kid. He was attending school in Aleppo with maybe 25 other students when a bomb hit the building. He and two others were the only survivors.

I've heard some shit, man.

After they leave the appartements, how do they manage to live in Sweden? Also, a hi from Belgium. I work with unaccompagnied child refugees who live alone (14 of them) and am also a legal guardian of one unaccompagnied child. I you have questions for me, PM.

We have a very specific process. First when they come to Sweden they stay in a refugee shelter. Then as soon as possible they get moved to a home similar to ours. When they've gotten asylum and we feel they are ready we move them to their own apartment where they receive assistance from one staff member who handles all kids with their own apartments. Finally, when we feel they are mature enough and can handle interactions with state departments and the like by themselves, we send them on their marry way. It's a long, long process, but at least it assures us that they're ready.

Unless of course they decide to send for their families. Then suddenly you have a kid taking care of both his parents and several siblings, none of whom speak the language or know the customs, all the while trying to get his education or going to work. I've seen 18-year olds with gray hair from the stress. It's a terrible, terrible thing.

What is this hardest thing that the children have trouble adapting to?

Being treated like kids.

In their country they're considered adults. In fact many are here on a quest for the sake of their family and not in it for themselves. To be treated like they deserve, it's alien to them. It's why we run the risk of spoiling them easily.

Your description of your place of work seem exactly describe the place I live on floor up from. Not sure if it is that place, but if it is, for the love of god, can you please teach the kids to make popcorn properly? The fire alarm goes off every now and then.

Oh, and have taught the kids kubb yet? I think it's essential that they learn how to argue about the rules after you have started playing properly, just like Swedes!

The lack of Kubb teaching is the number one reason for why integration has failed in this country.

Vote for the Kubb party. We'll topple the monarchy, and have fun doing it!

What is Kubb?

It's a Swedish game where two teams line up wooden blocks and stand behind them. Then you throw sticks to try and knock down the other teams' blocks. When all blocks are gone you can attack the King piece in the middle and win.

Quite a fun game. Very Republican

Do you need anything?

Hälsningar från Åland.

A stiff one for when I get off work would be appreciated!

In all seriousness though, there are a lot of things people can do to help out. Just going over to hang out with the kids at your local refugee accommodation is enough! Sometimes our neighbours organize big barbeques and invite all of us over, which is great for letting the kids feel like they're included in the community. You can also donate clothes, books, furniture or anything you no longer need that you think we might have better use for. Anything and everything is appreciated!

We don't take random refugees to åland. Just quota refugees and only families. The red cross and other volunteers handle them.

Hmm, what a shame. In that case the best you can do is donate to those charities. They need all the help they can get.

Do towns or regions in Sweden have any right to refuse to take in migrants?

No, but a lot of them have gotten away with not taking in any regardless. Especially affluent areas and hard-to-reach rural areas have avoided sharing the load for the longest time.

There are also municipalities that outright refuse to take in any more refugees because they're already overburdened. This is illegal and they face heavy fines if they engage in this kind of behaviour, but many don't see any other option.

Follow the money. Connected real estate developers are rezoning single family units and making them multifamily lots I bet all under the guise of helping. When really they are just buying cheap and selling high.

Ain't no buying cheap in the Swedish housing market, that's for sure.

Are refugees entitled?

A large number are, to various degreed and for different reasons. Many made the decision to go to Sweden because it was hyped up by smugglers and relatives as this fantastic place where they give you everything you want. Others it's our own fault that they are spoiled. We give them a bunch of stuff without taking their culture into consideration and without making them understand the responsibilities they have. It's all a sad truth to the crisis.

It's our own fault for not trying hard enough to spread the truth about how it is in Sweden and other European countries. When you've made the kind of journey they have I feel to some degree it's natural to feel entitled. They don't understand our society enough to appreciate what we give, and it's on us to help them understand.

What do you earn per month? Thanks for a great ama

17 dollars an hour, and that's without any formal education. Not glamorous, but so much more than elderly care, which is around 11. I also work pretty crazy hours. No 8 hour shifts for me! Try 12, 18 and 32!

I am an American in Poland right now, Sign me up for 17 dollars an hour.

Zapraszam do mojego kraju w każdej chwili .

Seems like they need to have some of these Refugees work and help you out? Seriously though, are the Refugees expected to clean up,cook etc? Here in the US its not allowed, because that would mean we spend less and we all know its an industry.

They are expected to be able to take care of themselves, yes. With kids, it's part of my job to make sure they grow into mature adults who can manage life on their own.

How would you respond to those that would say refugees are bad people who only want to mooch off the system?

Have you read the graphic novel Maus? It chronicles the escape of a Jewish man and his wife from the horrors of the Holocaust. A recurring theme in the novel is that the sheer desperation of the Jewish people trying to survive hardens them and makes them more selfish and paranoid. The longer it goes on, the less inclined they are to help even their brethren jews unless there's payment involved. Yet at no point does either the protagonist or the author judge these people. Rather, it takes their side. There is mutual understanding amongst the Jewish people that if any of them are to survive, they have to save themselves. The need for survival inherently makes people desperate.

Saying refugees are bad and mooching off of our welfare can be technically correct when talking about some refugees, but it's a simplistic way of looking at things that loses a lot of the subtleties and complexities of real life.

By the way, do try to read Maus if you haven't. Fantastic book.

you mention a teen from Gambia being sent back ... What prevents the people in Sweden, who want to help migrants, from themselves moving to Gambia and helping the people there? Help the Gambians develop their own country. And enables those in Sweden who need their country to remain Swedish to achieve that goal also.

He's not being sent back to his country, he's being sent back to Italy. His application for asylum has been accepted there, and under the Dublin Convention that means we can send him packing, even though he's a perfectly upstanding citizen who has taken the time to learn our language and culture. It's a very tragic system, and it feels very unfair at times. Surely those who we know are going to be upstanding citizens should be allowed to stay in our country?

Anyway, on to your question. There are many ways people can help those in need around the world, and it is indeed true that people can travel to specific countries and help people there. But not all people in vulnerable situations can be helped by volunteers, or even foreign aid. Take people fleeing from Eritrea for instance. They're fleeing a country that not only enlists adults into their armed forces, but through sketchy legislation can manage to keep them in there for 20, 30, even 40 years. And being in the Eritrean army is not a fun time, but anyone who tries to desert is immediately sentenced to death. So the people from Eritrea who are here are guaranteed to die if they return. As for those who remain in Eritrea, what can we really do to change the country's policy on the army? It's an incredibly paranoid state, worried foremost about war with Ethiopia, and does not want to show any weakness. There is very little we can do to change that. Stopping the civil war in Syria or bringing stability to Iraq and Afghanistan is political suicide and far beyond the means of everyday citizens to do anything about.

But even if we could do all of this, even if we could travel to the different countries of the world and help solve their problems, the fact is that there are people here, now, who risk torture and death if we do not help them. We cannot turn our backs on people in need like that. We shouldn't feel obligated to be the saviours of the world, but we should try and help as many as we can help.

Very interesting reading your replies. Logic just tells me that letting in so many migrants will result in Sweden becoming a minority ethnic Swedish country. Which is not fair at all to the many of you who want and need a country, a society they can identify with.

Expecting an ethnic population to become a minority in their own country is ridiculous, I fully agree. That's one line in the sand that I think most people should have. It doesn't come up much in discussions, but maybe it should.

I'll be starting to teach a samhällsorienteering course to new swedes after the summer. What do you think are the most important topics we need to cover with them?

Sexual and gender rights and how Sweden views gender equality.

How to navigate different government institutions.

What their rights are.

There is an incredible piece of educational material called "Hitta rätt" (Find the right thing) that teaches absolutely everything you need to know about Sweden in a quick and efficient way. I strongly suggest you draw inspiration from that!

Great. Cheers, I'll have a look for that. Keep up the good work.

You too! Good luck!

Have you had any experience with older people pretending to be under 18 to have a better chance at asylum?

I have, and it is an issue. If we let our institutions be manipulated it undermines the strength of our government and country. It adds costs to asylum proceedings and takes away time and resources from those who are genuinely under 18. My personal opinion is that we could do more to try and determine the age of asylum seekers, but it is a very controversial area.

Our social welfare programs are for helping out our poor. At which point to you think the west taking in refugees from other nations is simply taking the burden of feeding and sheltering the poor from despot nations?

Every time someone deems it necessary to flee their home country to protect their lives, that country has shirked its duty to protect said individual. So in a sense, every time we take in a refugee we are taking the burden of feeding and sheltering them from the nations they flee from.

Does this mean we are suckers or fools? I don't think so. Helping the people noone else wants to help is a great thing in my mind, as long as you do it with honesty and humility. The great question of this crisis is whether or not our governments have failed in this regard. If they have or not, well...

Its not even about being a sucker or a fool. Its more about are we creating a dynamic that is enabling despots and corrupt foreign governments. Instead of correcting the problems in their home country we are allowing them to instead take the easy path and leave. Germany and Japan were completely destroyed war torn nations after WW2, the citizens stayed and rebuilt it. Also once you create an industry in this case Refugee resettlement industry (caseworkers, homebuilders, landlords etc) don't you create a special interest that will for better or worse look to increase its budget? I mean are we taking care of others until there is peace on earth? There are clear winners and losers from the current policy. Losers would be domestic poor and working class who will compete for jobs and schools etc., winners would be land owners and capital holders. You asked the question have our governments failed US in this regard...but you didn't answer...

In all fairness, Germany and Japan got a lot of help from the Marshall plan after having its strongest factions completely demolished. The countries of the people fleeing here are either still-functional countries, countries ravaged by war whose governments and rebel factions still hold some power, and lawless countries dominated by powerful fringe groups. None of these examples are easily solved in the way the problems of Germany and Japan could be solved, none of them are blank slates. We could try and make them blank slates, but would that be ethical.

I don't think this industry would be very effective at lobbying for special interest. Everyone who's part of this industry that I've met all believe the same thing: that the crisis will one day blow over and that budgets will be drastically cut. That's not to say there aren't people who take advantage of the current situation. Most famously in Sweden is Bert Karlsson, who built a bunch of refugee accommodations and made millions of them. But even he was just capitalizing on a temporary gold rush. It's not going to stay forever.

I do think governments have failed in many ways considering this crisis. They've failed the working class, they've failed the middle class, they've failed the country and they've failed the refugees.

I hope you turn out correct. But when can these new Refugees begin to vote in your country. Identity politics is a powerful tool for people seeking power and it usually results in the worst being elected.

The road from permanent residence to citizenship is quite long. It'll take many years from when a refugee arrives here to when they can begin voting. As for what impact it will have on politics, it's too early to tell, though I've heard much about how first-generation immigrants tend to vote much more conservative than second- and third generation.

When the unaccompanied children are sent to Sweden, are there expectation from their relatives that the children will open up doors for the relatives to come as well through family reunification?

Absolutely. It really frustrates me. They are sent here because they are seen as adults who can game the Swedish system to help out their family. They're not even asked about it, it's just expected of them to do it. It's a horribly cynical thing.

The worst is when they actually manage to get their family here. Now you have two adults and several children who don't speak the language, don't know the culture, don't understand the bureaucracy and institutions, completely dependent on this teenager who barely knows enough to handle himself. The burden is massive. Imagine if you had to be the single parent to both your siblings and your own parents when you were a teenager.

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Oh boy, that's a doozy.

The most fascinating way they react is when it comes to their religion. When they first arrive in Sweden they take it very seriously, especially if they're muslim. They go to the mosque, they pray five times a day, they only eat halal and generally act quite conservative. As time goes on, however, and they start to understand that they are amongst adults that won't judge them for not taking their religion too seriously, they start to relax. They'll eat haram, they'll ignore going to the mosque and praying. You really get a feel for how significant peer pressure is for the faith of these kids. Once that peer pressure disappears, so does their hardline stances. They still believe in Allah, just in a way more similar to how Swedes believe in God.

As for more secular aspects of Swedish society like sexual rights, they are surprisingly positive to it. Many times when I've taken kids to sexual seminars, they leave thinking it was really interesting and being very supportive of the Swedish outlook on gender rights and sexuality. Once again, it gives you an understanding of how much the initial worldviews of these kids have been defined by the adults around them and not themselves.

To summarize, there is an overwhelmingly positive response to the liberal outlook on social life that Sweden has. It liberates them, in a sense. This is why I don't think "muslims will rape all our women," like so many people have stated. They'll want to date our women! They'll want to participate in our society! Because a free and open society is awesome!

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I'm not sure of the exact number, but there are a lot of kids who make it here. Most are either from Afghanistan or Eritrea. Some are above 18, hoping to get special treatment or getting their family to come too, but many are genuinely between 12 to 17.

Kids from the middle east usually travel with larger groups of people on their way here. This can be a very dangerous journey, as they can be robbed, abused and even raped by strangers and smugglers. One kid I know was beaten heavily by a smuggler until his white shirt turned red from blood, and afterwards the smuggler demanded he thank him for the beating. Conditions can be very harsh.

As for payment, for many families these are their life savings, especially with people from Syria whose homes have just been destroyed. Other families get money sent to them by relatives already in Europe.

Can you provide more evidence of your identity? This profile looks like set up to send certain type of propaganda, considering obvious cultural issues arising from importing violent war-refugees into Sweden.

You are absolutely entitled to proof of my identity. I shall email the mods with further proof so they can confirm it.

Have you ever watch Movlogs on youtube? How does it make you feel as a taxpayer when you see insane wealth in ME nations that don't take in Refugees?

I just looked it up. It's quite depressing, but not very surprising. Both my uncle and a close friend have worked in Dubai, and the stories I've heard of how there are massive camps of low-skilled workers living in terrible conditions are horrifying.

The lack of unity in the Arab world is a sad fact of life in our modern world. Had the rise of pan-Arabism not been stopped by the war in Afghanistan and its many consequences, maybe the world would look different. Of course, even disregarding the collapse of pan-Arabism, to live in such decadent conditions when your religious bretheren suffer so terribly, it just doesn't make sense to me. It makes me quite depressed.

Has there been any attacks, vandalism or hostilty towards the complex?

Thankfully, no. Sadly, this seems to have made many kids complacent. They'll leave doors open in the middle of the night, tape the locks so they won't close and invite anyone over. There have been moments where if we were unfortunate enough to have people wanting to start some shit, they could start some serious shit.

How many kids you care for would you say are in the age bracket of 0-7, 8-12, 12-15, 15-18, 18-25 and 25-50?

http://kommun.redcross.se/mariestad/vart-arbete/

I mean, this image clearly shows there is at least a number of "kids" that are well beyond 30 years of age. Do you have any "kids" in your care that are clearly adults, and what happens with them? Are they placed in school amongst a group of kids their reported age? Let's say the little boy in the middle of that image is going to school with 15-yearolds. What implications does that have? If he starts flirting with his classmates? If they're playing a physical sport? etc.

The truth is that, yes, a lot of minors are probably above 18-years of age. Methods to determine an individual's age are limited (although the extent of their limitations are up to debate) and many abuse this fact by giving a younger age. They do this so they can apply for their family to join them once their asylum applications are accepted. It's a noble goal, but it jeopardizes the asylum process of Sweden and has consequences that are severe, most obvious of which is that trust in actual minors is eroded and the processing time of their cases are prolonged.

What school and class they go to is determined by their skilllevel and not their age. A 17-year old can't be entered into secondary education, he might have to go in sixth grade. So whether they lie or not has no bearing on the amount of refugees attending classes for younger people. As for the flirting, we provide constant talks and lectures on sex and laws about sex in Sweden. This is one of the areas that we really prioritize, for obvious reasons.

The sports question is interesting. There are kids who play in leagues for 16-year old who I'd peg to be closer to 20, and that certainly is unfair. I'm not sure what any meaningful solution to this could be, however.

Which is better - the beach or the pool?

Hold on I'll ask the kids at work.

How strange. Everyone started crying.

Dag! How is the generell situation with the refugees at sweden? Here in Germany the BAMF (The Aganecy for mirgation and refugees) is baiscly ddos'd and can't keep up. Waiting time for the official notification as a refugees are about 6 month+ atm.

It's fairly similar here. Crazy waiting times. People who applied last year can expect to have their application completed next year "at the latest." There's a lot of frustration from them at how long it's taking. Lots of stress and depression developing.

exactly the same as I read and see in German media. I don't know how swedish law is but in Germany every notification has to be proven one by one to see the individual rafugee recognition points are given or not. But well more then 1.000.000+ refugees the BAMF has atm 7.300 regualry people + 1.600 temporaly. I think you can imagine when they are trough that mountain of notifications. oO

Everyone also has a right to contest the department of migration's decision not to give them asylum twice. Thoroughness is vitally important when it comes to people's lives, this much is obvious, but it has broader implications on how much we can handle that need to be adressed. The most dangerous thing about having an overburdened system is that people might be tempted to start taking shortcuts. That will be the first step on the road to corrupt bureaucracy.

How can you verify the true age?

The most popular method is x-rays, but it has received criticism for being unreliable. On a personal level, usually bells start ringing when a 16-year old starts balding.

Would you agree that tose kids would be much better off if sent back to their contries, so the natives can raise them in their cultural environment? Do you think there is a chance that at least a couple of them could be molded into something resembling a normal society member, and not be a threat to others?

I think most people in the world would be better off if they got to live in Sweden. The question is if that is the most efficient solution to the problem as a whole. Without proper safeguards and mature discussions on immigration's implications, I don't think it is. I do think many people can be integrated into our society and adopt our cultural values, but they need a strong foundation to accomplish this. A segregated society is not that foundation.

Sweden has a very high standards of life, and I'm sure most of the world would be very happy if they had the same access to wealth, medical care, infrastructure etc that swedes have. There is one problem though: swedes were able to achieve that in Sweden because they behaved and lived in a certain swedish way. Living this way meant every member of society should work to the benefit of the society, show some level of respect, earn the goodies and not just get them, etc. Many immigrants see Sweden (and generally Western Europe) as some sort of paradise, where they are given a iphone, BMW and a unlimited credit card on entry, and, even more importantly, most of their views on the world order are absolutely incompatible with Sweden's or anyone's with a sane mind. There is no need to look far for evidences, sexual crime, drug dealing, burglary rates have skyrocketed, and those people show no sign of changing their ways. Do you think Sweden and swedes are morally strong enough and their identity and beliefs are strong enough to win this cultural battle, or will it turn to Swedistan in the next 20 years?

There's an anecdote from Milton Friedman I quite like.

A Swedish economist walks up to Milton and says "In Sweden we don't have any poverty." Milton then says to him, "that's funny, we don't have any poverty amongst Swedes in America either."

But I digress. To answer your question, I do believe Swedish cultural identity is strong enough. The outrage at the We Are Sthlm event shows that we take great pride in our progressive outlook on life. Swedes will never give up their moral beliefs in equality for all for the sake of appeasement. It might move in that direction from time to time, but when push comes to shove, we'll shove hard.

How many 'Child Refugees' are over 30?

I've yet to meet any, at least none I've suspected in the slightest. Most over-18s are in their 20S I'd say.

These migrants can lie about their age and are known to rape those who try to help them. Are you afraid you might get raped?

They're not exactly fans of homosexuality

So the stories of men getting raped by migrants are false?

I don't know?

How do you live with the fact that those child refugees that are males statistically will grow up and end up raping Swedish white women?

Source please

Vilket parti röstar du på? Hur känns det att aktivt delta till att försämra Sverige ekonomiskt och socialt samtidigt som du själv tjänar på det ekonomiskt.?

Which party do you vote for? What does it feel like to actively partake in making Sweden weaker economically and socially while you at the same time benefit economically?

I'm not terribly partisan, but I tend to vote right of center.

Are you able to defend yourself should one of these people try to stab you? http://edition.cnn.com/2016/01/25/europe/sweden-asylum-seeker-stabs-woman/

If someone tries to stab me I will GTFO.

If someone tries to stab one of my kids I will still GTFO.

Bitch I ain't getting stabbed for nobody.

You're real, man. Respect.

Fo shizzle.

(Was that cool? Was that ebonics? I honestly don't know someone help me)

Considering Sweden had a role in arming Sadam Hussein and destabilizing the region then why should Sweden and thw West not be obligated to take in the refugees that were created as a result to Western screw up of the region?

While I don't much care for entering into a political discussion, I will say that there are more ways than one that we can try and mend this issue. We could for instance send peace-keeping forces to protect areas and give aid to the local populace, or spend more money on foreign aid. Not saying that these solutions are more ideal, just that there is a potential discussion to be had before we commit fully to one approach.

Ironically, Sweden's welcoming of refugees has caused more harm than good, as the Swedish government has allocated resources from its foreign aid budget to fund the department of migration. As one dollar spent on refugees in Sweden does less than one dollar spent on a refugee in Libanon or a starving person in Africa, there is a net loss in terms of people saved.

Do you give the migrants intelligence tests? Does their intelligence match that of native Swedes?

We do not. The closest would be when we evaluate their supposed education to determine what kind they will require once they're here. Some have had quite significant education, and by significant I mean maybe 6-8 years of it, while others don't even know how to read their own language. It varies greatly. Many of those from Syria have moderatly high educations, while those from Afghanistan vary depending on if they are directly from Afghanistan or if they've lived in Iran for a while.

How does it make you feel to see Europe turning into the middle east?

I do like hummus!

Are you trying to destroy Sweden? Seriously. There are now more Muslim males teens in Sweden than their ethnic Swede counterparts? http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35444173

Not once in the article you cited is that stated. Go away you crazy nazi.