When my wife had our third child we discovered she was in kidney failure. 7 months later (2 weeks ago) I gave her one of mine.

For proof I offer a picture of my scars http://imgur.com/gIWcvhP

Ask us anything about dialysis, the surgery, recovery...

The questions are starting to repeat themselves, not to mention the "inside her" jokes, so I guess our work here is done. Thanks for the great questions, it's been awesome.

Comments: 1350 • Responses: 46  • Date: 

Dabee6251222 karma

If you two ever split up, is she going to have to give it back?

Genesis_2-241088 karma

I don't expect that to ever happen. Although there have been people who demanded their kidney back after a divorce. https://www.google.com/search?q=spouse+demands+kidney+after+divorce

Dabee625659 karma

Whoa, I was just joking, I had no idea that was actually a thing. Good luck with your recoveries!

Genesis_2-24737 karma

Thanks. I was also shocked. I couldn't believe people actually went to a judge and demanded 200 grams of flesh, no more, no less.

Catdaddyx2925 karma

What's it like being able to win any argument now for the rest of your lives together? "Oh yeah, well I gave you my kidney!"

Genesis_2-241981 karma

I tried it once. Never again.

beer_demon599 karma

When you drink beer does she have to go and pee? Does that piss her off? (literally)

Genesis_2-24410 karma

I haven't drank beer since the transplant. She does get pissed whenever she has to piss at inconvenient times.

ePluribusEatMe390 karma

How did you match her? Isn't that tough to do?

Genesis_2-24631 karma

For a kidney transplants a blood type match it usually enough. We are both O+

Edit: obviously we did a tissue match test before ripping an organ out of my body. We were a perfect match. I'm just saying it was expected considering we have the same blood type and all of her pregnancies were from me.

Gronk307 karma

Are there any restrictions on either of your lifestyles after the operation? Can you still drink? Do you need to stay hydrated?

Genesis_2-24458 karma

She needs to take anti-rejection medication. That means that she has a weakened immune system. So she needs to be careful not to be around sick people. Supposedly, she is also at higher risk for skin cancer, so she needs to use sunscreen etc...

Both of us need to stay hydrated and to avoid medications that are hard on the kidneys.


I read this as I was taking my dose of prograf along with the other mountain of medication (heart).

Carry a bottle of hand sanitizer and be a gentleman and clean things for her (toilet, dishes, door handles, light switches, shopping carts, etc).

Reading this was awesome. This is a relationship that is bound to last forever.

Genesis_2-24136 karma

Wife: thanks

yyesnomaybeidontknow58 karma

Does she have to take the anti-rejection medication forever or just for a while in the beginning?

Genesis_2-2494 karma

Forever. Even in case of rejection.

CharlieThunderthrust261 karma

What did she give you in exchange? Please tell me you got something out of it. Like special sexy time surprises or a radio control dinosaur?

Genesis_2-24737 karma

It's too soon after the surgery for sexy times. 😢

Her: "I gave you me! Isn't that enough?!"

It is ❤

Edit: I don't expect any complaints when I buy myself an apple watch.

Alice_in_Neverland180 karma

Do you know what was causing your wife's kidney failure? It sounds like it was unexpected, so I'm guessing it wasn't something that you were prepared for.

Best wishes to you and your family!

Genesis_2-24177 karma

No idea what caused it. We were considering doing a biopsy but it wasn't worth the risk.

Laforets103 karma

Did they not do a biopsy after the surgery just to see what was going on?

Genesis_2-24243 karma

They didn't remove the bad ones. The surgery was nowhere near the kidneys. My kidney is in her waist.

Laforets116 karma

That's amazing, I just want to say good on you. My husband had to have his right kidney removed about a year ago due to cancer and watching him recover from that was horrible.

Genesis_2-24538 karma

Thanks. The difference is that we are recovering together. It's like a fucked up second honeymoon.

Laforets173 karma

Real love is when your hands are full and you get your partner to scratch your scar tissue :)

Genesis_2-24167 karma

Wife: lol

StochasticLife173 karma

Am I the first person to point out the Genesis 2: 24 "...and they become one flesh" thing?

Because, that's pretty funny.

Genesis_2-24117 karma

I'll tell the Rabbi's wife you liked it. She was the first to point it out.

NotElizaHenry151 karma

How long ago was this and what was/is your recovery like? How much time did you schedule off work? I'm donating a kidney later this year and the doctors made the donor's recovery process sound pretty intense.

BTW, your wife is super lucky she married you! The average wait time to get a kidney when you're type O is 2-3 years in the US.

Genesis_2-24214 karma

The surgery was 2 weeks ago. I took a month off work.

My doctors made the recovery sound easy. It's not. They cut your abs all the way across! It's still hard to get out of a chair or bed. Still hurts to walk a lot and stand straight. Still hurts at night.

The catheter is a bitch. Taking it out was the most painful 2 seconds of my life. It burned when I peed for a whole day after that.

Also, they hit a nerve and I lost the feeling in my thigh. They expect the feeling to return in a month or two.

Good luck with yours.

Epoo140 karma

Everyone says that removing a catheter is the worst pain but mine felt...pleasant? I had open heart surgery and i had a catheter but when they removed it, it felt exactly the same as pissing immediately after cumming except 10x more intense. I was on morphine so that mightve helped but apparently it was a super low dose.

Genesis_2-24212 karma

What can I say? Good for you.

wjbc103 karma

What are/were the risks to you?

Genesis_2-24181 karma

Not much. There was a 1:3000 chance of death from the operation.

The only instructions I was given is to stay hydrated. E.g. Make sure there is water in the car in case it brakes down.

m1sta92 karma

Would you do it for a stranger?

Genesis_2-24187 karma

No. I give blood regularly and I have an organ donor card but that's just too much for me.

Wife: I salute anybody that is willing to do it. But I wouldn't have done it either.

Genesis_2-2428 karma

In Israel a lot of people do it. http://www.kilya.org.il/en/

Soupmaster4482 karma

Have you made any jokes about being constantly inside her yet?

Genesis_2-24166 karma

Wow. This question just won't go away. Fine.

Some jokes were made. Mostly we are amazed about her taking a piece of me with her wherever she goes.

blind0wl77 karma

I've heard of others having kidney transplants and that they only last a few years. Is this true for you? I can only imagine a few more years spent with your significant other would definitively be worth it in any case.

Genesis_2-24201 karma

The kidney could hypothetically last a lifetime. If it fails she can go back to dialysis. Also, I have 3 brothers that are O+ 😉.

willywalloo74 karma

So it is expected you guys will have full normal lives ? Does the fact that the kidneys have to do double lifting now increase the kidneys "strength" or use it up ?

Genesis_2-2498 karma

They are supposed to get bigger to adjust to the bigger workload.

MyUsernameIsPoo73 karma

When my uncle gave my mum a kidney he was walking around less than 24 hours after surgery. How quick was your recovery?

Genesis_2-24198 karma

I was on my feet as soon as I woke up the next morning because they said they will only take out the catheter if I stand up.

m1sta62 karma

Do you have any feelings toward the number of deceased donor kidneys available (or not) at the moment?

Genesis_2-24117 karma

It's a disgrace. In Israel, the family needs to approve the donation even if you signed a donor card. HALF DON'T APPROVE!!!

There are too many Rabbis that oppose deceased transplants saying that "brain death isn't death, and harvesting vital organs is murder".

Because of this Israel leads in living kidney transplants.

m1sta69 karma

This a direct and current example of religion causing suffering and death.

Genesis_2-2438 karma

But on the other hand they encourage living kidney donations. http://www.kilya.org.il/en/

s-Ranks47 karma

if you could of used a pigs kidney instead of your partners would you have gone for it?

Genesis_2-2476 karma

She says that's a tough question. Probably yes.

If a pigs kidney was an option I definitely wouldn't have offered mine.

bandit0138247 karma

Was there some kind of prenuptial agreement that she got half of all of your organs?

Genesis_2-2492 karma

It was implied.

WorriedChimera42 karma

I have heard the recovery for the donor is much harder than the Recipient is that true?

Genesis_2-2454 karma

Yes! (Short term)

squidbotts38 karma

What was the state of your core pre surgery, and what is it post surgery? What rehab programs have been suggested to you regarding abdominal strength and do you have any goals outside of the rehabilitation?

I study health as a hobby and occasionally make money as a massage therapist/trainer with a favourite subject being rehab.

Thanks in advance! :)

Genesis_2-2446 karma

Before I was fooling around with no-equipment-workouts (http://neilarey.com/programs/30-days-of-hiit.html). Nothing serious and no visible abs. Now I can barely get off the couch without help.

They said after 3 months I should be back to normal.

SchipholRijk32 karma

Having had several abdomen surgeries: Be careful and start slow. Also be careful on sneezing and coughing. You may rip something.

Genesis_2-2416 karma

It definitely felt like it at the beginning when we sneezed, or couched, or laughed... But it's starting to be less painful now.

mattmcr37 karma

Blood family are usually easier matches for giving organs. Did her blood family get tested or offer up one of theirs? My wife was born with juvenile pkd and has had three kidney transplants. Her dad refused to get tested because "he has a new family to worry about".

Genesis_2-2426 karma

Nobody on her side is O+.

ngrhd33 karma

How did you take care of the children when both of you were in the hospital?

Genesis_2-24137 karma

They slept by my mother while we were in the hospital. My father, her sister, her mother, and more took shifts helping us when we got home.

The doctor says we can start lifting the baby, so the hard part is behind us.

Edit: I feel bad for not mentioning the support from our community. Every day a different family from our synagogue has sent us a warm meal. It takes a big load off and really warms the heart.

owentheoctopus31 karma

Left or right?

Genesis_2-2455 karma

Stage left 😉

Edit: they usually take the left because it has longer veins.

Edit 2 (my wife insists): we were sure they would take the right one because the left has a double collecting system but that apparently doesn't bother them.

SeymourApps27 karma

How long have you been married?

Genesis_2-2439 karma

10 years.

anarchymed3s26 karma

Well done you - did it require you to work up the courage to donate? Going into surgery did you have second thoughts? I love my wife and child dearly and while I'd offer to give up my kidney for them because it was the right thing working up the courage to go ahead with it would be something else altogether. How did you feel from the time you made the decision to the time they actually rolled you into surgery?

Genesis_2-2469 karma

Never the slightest doubt. Her doing dialysis with a spare kidney in my body body just doesn't make sense.

danivus24 karma

Ever played this song for her?

Genesis_2-2422 karma

Wife: Lovely. (I can't tell if she's being cynical)

p_coletraine24 karma

Those are some gnarly scars! Seems like the surgeon wasn't exactly sure where to go in from =-/.....anyhow what cool stories have you two come up with to accompany your scars? Real life Aliens occurrence? Knife fight? Shark bite?

Genesis_2-2471 karma

The surgery is called a "laporascopic nephroctomy". The 3 small scars are for the "laporascopic" and the big one is for the "nephroctomy".

In English: they make 3 small cuts for a camera, gas(to inflate the abdomen) and instruments. Through them they cut off the kidney and push it down. Then they make a big cut to get it out.

I don't think we need a fake story because the real one is cool enough.

DeadPastry21 karma

So when she pees, does that mean that you are also peeing?

Genesis_2-2433 karma

No. But it is technically my pee (I think)

rattlebat45 karma

Nah, Sorry dude. You've given her a new filter but the water's still hers

Genesis_2-2442 karma

But if I made the pee don't I own it?

Christine838815 karma

Were there ever any complications during the dialysis? I'm sure your wife had some bad days, how did you and your wife deal with them? Are you worried she might reject the new kidney? What was the hardest part of dealing with all of this?

Genesis_2-2427 karma

She only did dialysis for a few months. Most "dialysis days" were bad days. I'm happy that's behind us.

cunfewzed14 karma

She was in kidney failure when she was pregnant. Is baby ok?? Did that have any affect on the baby's well being?

Genesis_2-2422 karma

Baby is fine and adorable.