IamA Male Prostitute working in New Zealand AMA!
Reddit appears to have an interesting view on prostitution, thought I might do an ama to see if I can't clear up some things. I've been working for about nine months now, so ask away.
It is about 4am here so I'll answer your questions when I wake up.Screw it who really needs sleep anyhow.
Edit: Just a note, gay male prostitute, wish I could edit the title. Oh well hindsight is twenty twenty and all that.
Edit part two, The editing: I got tagged nsfw, it amuses me that reddit is warning me that my job isn't safe for my job.
Woohoo it worked
How much did it cost you?
Mods get it free ;)
Why you sly kiwi.
What? Gotta be good to those with power :)
Hi, first, I'd like to say thanks for doing this AMA. I have tons of questions... :)
1) are your clients mostly one sex, or a combination of both? More men vs. women?
2) How do clients find you?
3) How do you protect yourself from sketchy people/situations? Any stories?
Well I'm a gay male escort, probably should of specified. Any women I see are with their partners and either watching or doing things to him. Don't swing that way sadly.
I advertise online on a bunch of different websites, which is my main source of clients. Other times dating apps can bring in a few.
So obviously protection. If someone wants it without condoms I just tell them no that's illegal and stop all interactions. A lot of my clients are hotels or places I set up so they're quite safe, but whenever I'm working I let my friend know how long and when he should be getting worried and text him when I'm done. I use to carry I police baton in my bag, but that was more to make me feel more safe than to actually be useful. I've had two clients who I was in danger with. I just talked them down until I could safely get out of there.
If it's alright, could you describe the situations where you felt in danger?
Here's the only proper time
Best thing about this was my best friend was texting me during telling me how I was in a real life version of silence of the lambs and was hypothesizing over how I was going to be murdered. He's a great guy. . .
Agreed, any weapon can be used against you too.
Except my wit :)
how common is it for a couple to use your services? Is there a lot of curious men out there? Do they say it's cause they want a girl-guy-girl threeway and they owe their partner this one? Is there a common cliche that comes up?
I've done two so not very, more likely is doing a threesome with another escort.
The two I did the lady was the one who suggested it, and the guy was keen to try it out.
Common cliches? I have a lot of lines I use frequently when clients ask awkward question. My favourite is when they say something like wow that's a nice dick I usually reply, "thanks I grew it myself." It still makes me chuckle so I'm happy.
I think I am out of questions for now. Appreciate the time!
No worries, from what I've seen reddit's opinion on prostitutes is we're all cracked out our skulls and have huge daddy issues. I just want to show then that we're everyday people. If you saw me in the street you wouldn't pick me for an escort unless I wanted you to.
Have you ever banged a fully tattooed Maori?
Many a Maori Edit: Either I misread this or you edited it after. I have had sex with heavily tattooed people, maori and otherwise. Not sure if it's meant to mean something but hey I've done it :)
Can you go into a bit of detail about this/these encounters? I'm intrigued.
I'm confused, being Maori isn't something super special. It's just a race.
I'm American and lived in New Zealand so I can infer that this question was asked because Maori are seen by people that don't know much about NZ culture as being highly exotic. They're tattooed, tribal, etc. in everyone's mind. Perhaps a rare find. I got the reverse here because I'm half Native American. I've never lived in a teepee and I'm a natural blonde. Lol
It's so funny to me, that some hold this perspective, but I guess it makes a little sense.
I honestly had no idea on that. Thanks for clarifying :)
I'm gay and when I was young and hot I thought about doing this because it would mean more money in a shorter time to pay for college than waiting tables and cleaning hotel rooms.
I ultimately decided against it because I could not imagine myself being able to fake it for fat, old guys. Of course, this was before viagra (good grief I'm old) but still, even with that kind of help I don't think I would have been able to fake interest.
How do you deal with that, faking it for people you are not attracted to or that repulse you?
It's just acting. I can go through the motions without even thinking about it. Focusing on the negative qualities of clients doesn't get you anywhere and the more you work the less it bothers me. I'm having sex for money not because I want to be with this person.
Thanks for the answer.
I guess I'm just one of those people that can't fake interest then. I tend to be honest to a fault because people always know I'm lying anyway. I have one of those faces you can read like a book.
Have you never had a client that you just found very unappealing? Are you able to hide that initial dissapointment? How do you get it up when there is the opposite of attraction?
Also, I read somewhere that a lot of guys just want some attention and someone to cuddle and talk to, is that true?
I've had lots of morbidly unattractive clients. But their money is as good as any so I do my job as best as I can and there isn't any initial disappointment I've put on my work face well before I meet them.
Some guys do like to cuddle and talk, a lot treat me like a therapist of thoughts and that's fine I don't mind that if it's what they want it's what they'll get.
Came in expecting some craziness, and left feeling underwhelmed. Although I suppose that was the point, wasn't it? Just a normal guy.
Well normal may not be quite right. I am terribly strange but still a functioning citizen, which was the point I was hoping to get across :)
But yeah I've been described as a weird old lady before and I think if I wasn't working It would be pretty accurate
What is the creepiest thing a client ever asked you to do?
Probably shit in his mouth while he rims me.
Dear god no.
I'm both relieved and somehow mildly disappointed.
Hello! Thanks for doing this AMA. I'm really curious about the law regarding prostitution in NZ.
1) How does the law overall feel about prostitution? What are the laws? 2) Do you feel like the laws are good at protecting sex workers or do they more try to criminalize them? 3) Any memorable incidents (regarding law or otherwise)?
Thank you! Wish you all the best!
It's been legal since 1983 iirc, basically prostitutes just need to take all measures to be safe during sex. It's more complicated if you own a brothel but I'm foggy on those details.
The laws great. the government funds the NZPC (New Zealand Prostitute's Collective) which is an organization to basically help all sex workers.
No incidences with the law, though once a bouncer made me empty my work bag before going to a bar that was a fun day. Picture dildos condoms lube bondage rope sex gel massage oils and all sorts of things being emptied into a bouncers arms.
I'd give $50 USD OBO to see the look on his face.
He was a real good sport about it. He says Hello to me whenever I go there and doesn't check my bag anymore :D
This sounds hilarious
It was quite :)
Thanks for actually answering the questions being asked. I'm curious:
- Are you concerned about incurable diseases such as HSV-2 that condoms don't help much in preventing?
- Have you had any health scares such as broken condoms?
- Obviously you can't be a prostitute forever. What's your long term plan when you're in your 40s?
No worries it's an AMA I kinda have to :)
I'm concerned over all STI's but worrying over it is like worrying you'll be hit by a car. Sure it could happen and you do all you can to prevent it, but you don't let it stop you crossing the road.
Had a condom break once. Scared me but nothing happened from it.
I don't really have a plan. All I know is while I'm young and attractive I wanna travel and do sex work. I can sort the rest afterwards.
I'm paranoid about hookups in general, so I'm just trying to visualize doing it so much... Last week I was with a hot Middle Eastern dude who came first, and without my realizing it, used his own cum as lube to jerk me off. I sorta freaked out after realizing what happened :p
Also, I can't get turned on if the guy is even slightly flabby or not my type, so I couldn't do what you do! :)
Very few people can do it well, so don't feel bad about it :)
Yeah hook ups are always risky I've sworn off them for a while, just so much easier when I can say their times up.
Is there a "pimp like" power structure that you work underneath, or are you self employed?
Currently self employed. I use to work in a fantastic brothel down in auckland, which I'll check with my old madame if she will let me link to it. It was great fun working there we had a gay brothel and straight brothel working from the same place and it was just one big family, but I moved cities and the only gay brothel here is basically a harem for the owner, which I'm for.
As far as pimping in New Zealand is concerned brothel owners require a license to run and advertise and workers basically just need to find a place they're comfortable at to work from. Most places the owners are great but some are more shady. I don't know much about street workers, I'm strictly bookings only but there may be some pimpage there, mostly I think it's boyfriends making their girls give them the money. Which really isn't on.
only gay brothel here is basically a harem for the owner, which I'm for.
WAT? So he gets the D for free whenever he wants? How does that work?
It's "testing the boys"
Here's the site, judge for yourself http://www.matadormaleescortsauckland.com/
Seems disappointing they're all basically twinks except for that one guy who's sort of rugby.
Two things jumped out at me, one it looks like a three year old designed it. Two the part where it's saying all boys take Viagra. I'm pretty sure the owner makes them do it. And there's nothing wrong with twinks, but as one I'm totally bias
Having looked at ads just for the fantasy in my mind numerous times, I've always been disappointed that my type generally didn't seem to be an option.
That fantasy ended pretty quickly because of it.
What's your type and what's the fantasy?
Holla at yo boy. unless you're saying I missed one somewhere in that wall of text.
lol no I was just saying word, ya feel me... dawg? Am I gangstering correctly?
Quite, yes, indeed. Gangstering to the highest of levels. I dunno my wild saturday nights involves new cheesecake recipes and Caro Emerald. Absolutely fantastic but hardly gangster.
Cheesecake is the food of gods, mi amigo.
I made this last night it was so great, and like the name suggests damn simple. Plus I got to bake shortbread and damn I love
shortbread any baking.
So let's talk about the money, how much do you make? How much do you charge?
It varies depending on who and what, but assuming you're a new client standards rates are. One hour full service: $160 NZD ($137 USD). Over night, usually around eight hours, $1000 NZD ($870 USD) And then there are are the fetishes (think BDSM, water sports, outdoors) which I decide on a case my case basis, usually BDSM is another fourty, water sports depends on my mood and who's on the receiving end.
Most of my clients are just a standard one hour though. :)
Are you in for everything?
I have my limits, I don't do scat, blood play or asphyxiation. But basically you pay enough anythings on offer.
That seems like good pay. Is it something you can do every day? Multiple clients a day?
Some days I'm really not feeling it and know I won't do a good job, best part of being my own boss is I get those days off
Have you ever been rejected by a customer because your penis was too large (i.e. they a have small-dick fetish)?
Not because they've wanted a smaller guy, my dick size is clearly stated on the websites I advertise on. However a few guys weren't able handle the girth so we have to do other things instead.
Do you have any other skills? Like typing?
I'm sorry, it's just that how often do you get such an adequate opportunity to make a reference?
I have a certificate in business administration among other skills. It's not that I have to be a prostitute, I choose to be. :)
I'm very curious to know; do you enjoy sex with clients? Does your job have any effect on your personal sex life, positive or negative?
Sometimes I do sometimes I don't depends how good they are. Best sex I ever had was with a client.
I'm more explorative with my own sexuality now and I'm a lot better at it, but I've found I can get bored of people easily in my personal life. I've read this is quite common with sex workers though and it goes away slowly after you quit working.
Interesting! I have another one; once you've set up a meeting with a client, and you're on your way over there - do you ever worry it's going to be someone you know waiting for you, or even worse, a relative of yours? How would you tackle a situation like that?
Well my website advertisements you can see my face well enough that anyone who knows me can recognize me. But if it happened I'd laugh it off. No one would want to announce that they found out I was a prostitute by offering to pay me for sex. Only weird thing would be if they try go through with it.
Haha! You're right about that one. And that sounds like a brilliant way to handle this. Thanks for the replies and the interesting AMA!
Well I don't really mind if everyone know's i prefer to keep it quiet but if it comes out it comes out. I'll deal with that if it happens, but why worry over a possibility.
I like your attitude. The present is the only thing that's real right now and other people's opinions don't matter. Also, prude-ish social standards suck. So to hell with that stuff!
Precisely, though the future is very important. Caring about what random people on the street think of you though? That really doesn't matter.
Hey, I want to be a straight male prostitute, is there a market in New Zealand?
I have no idea, I know there is sites to advertise but hey you can always be the pioneer who makes the market. :)
If you need help or advice feel free to pm me.
Who calls for a male prostitute???
Gay males :)
Are you a top or a bottom?
Fully versatile, you have to be if you want work in this industry.
Note: if you don't know gay terms well basically I'm saying that I get fucked and fuck people.
It's pretty much 50/50 as to fucking or fucked which makes sense I guess.
I get a lot of married men who never came out clients. Most of them want to fuck but some do want to get fucked.
What fetishes do you personally have?
BDSM heat play, role play (though that's more just because I find it fun than it turns me on). I think there's a few more but can't think of them off the top of my head.
Think wax or hot water
My dick just shrunk...
Mine grew ;)
Has your occupation affected being intimate with someone for your own personal reasons (with a SO or someone you care for)? How so?
And do you have any kinky fetishes of your own? :P
I find I get bored of people sexually very easily if it's vanilla sex. Usually for me to have sex with someone constantly it has to be fantastic, eyes rolling back in your head sex for me to keep going back for more.
My main fetishes are BDSM, heat play and I always find role play fun.
Those were always questions I wondered about those in the sex industry, but never really met anyone who I could ask without fear of offending. Kia ora!!
Glad I can be of service then :) Kia ora is hello by the way. (assuming you were saying good bye)
Oops! Eh, I'm from Hawaii. I always just thought 'Kia ora' was interchangeable like 'aloha'. Oh well, learned something! haha thanks
Got a pm saying it apparently is. Whoops my bad
do you play call of duty ghosts?
Only FPS I played well is Tribes 2. I play League of Legends, Pokemon, Magic TCG, and steam games.
Besides I'm gay and don't you have to of had sex with your mother to play COD?
What kind of decks do you play in magic? Favorite format?
I play white dual decks a lot
I'm building a daxos commander deck at the moment. I have high hopes for it.
Fuck yeah LoL! I'm assuming you're on OCE, but if you ever pop over to NA, add ShotgunNinja0. You basically play the same games as I do, except I've stopped playing Magic TCG and my FPS of choice is Counter-Strike: Source.
P.S. What champs do you play mostly? I prefer Sivir and Sona.
I think i have a level 18 lol account on NA what it's called I have no idea. I main Janna and Zyra because supports are the real heroes :P
you da real mvp
You know it, plus with yasuo dominating solo queue. Janna is just amazing. Can't wait for the new support item :)
Have kids online ever flamed you and called you a gay hooker or something close to that, and what was your response?
Nahh sadly, a few have called me a whore or gay never together. My usual response is, well you aren't wrong.sunshine :).
Pokemom eh? Do you play it competitive wise?
Nahh, I use to but I just prefer playing for fun. Mostly doing Nuzlocke runs and such.
How open is the culture over there in regards to your profession? Would someone act like they don't know you because they're embarrassed? If its legal, is there still stigma/shame attached to sex workers?
It's still looked down upon, and I've ended a few friendships over how they act (More due to immaturity than distaste). But generally it's pretty good. Stigma is more just misconceptions i.e. drugged out, stupid, riddled with infections, but they go away after they talk with me (At least I hope so)
How do you deal with coming early or being close to coming when you are on top? For females that "problem" isn't that big, but for males it is harder to control the orgasm.
How do you go about preparing for a bottom job? Enema for everytime or do you have a feel when you are clean and ready to go?
Do you french kiss your costumers?
Pretty interesting to hear from a male prostitute :) stay safe!
I can almost always make them come first
I keep track of my diet (bran is good for this) to make sure I'm clean down there, I don't do enemas very often it's not good for you. It's pretty easy to stay clean.
I do french kiss them, kissing is always a worry cause a bad kisser can totally throw off my game. Usually they're fine though but you get the odd client who breathes in your mouth or uses way too much tongue or some such. But it always works out, just means I give more head than a normal session or something like that.
Thanks you too :)
What is the weirdest thing you've been asked to do and did you do it?
Hmm, I think my favourite weird thing I did was paraphilic infantilism. It was all great but I had to make him swear he wouldn't use his diaper.
If you don't know: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism
Woah I hadn't heard of that before… interesting.
It was a little strange, but once I got a grasp on it was pretty fun to do.
If you don't mind me asking, what did it involve… wikipedia shows a range of 'activities' available for that sort of preference :P Sorry if that's too personal or awkward :/
No it's fine it is an AMA after all :)
Basically he was in a diaper and had a pacifier, he played with some blocks I spoon fed him and spanked him when he threw a tantrum and basically acted like a parent. No sex at all, it was pretty fun really. Funny thing is that when he wasn't in the diaper he was a totally normal guy with a good career. Goes to show you never really know what a person is truly like.
Oh ok, actually sounds not too bad! Haha yeah it's interesting to see which people are secretly kinky...
I'd love to be able to tell what fetishes people secretly like. It would be hilarious to know that the Queen was into dogging or something.
Hahahaha oh god… the images… But imagine just looking at an old lady or a famous figure or your mum and knowing they were into some weird shit. I would not be able to get through a serious meeting without giggling like a lunatic and my mind would never recover
I dunno sex is sec no matter what you like to do with it. Better to be honest with yourself than repress something enjoyable.
On a scale of 1 to in-love, how much do you enjoy your job? (10 being in-love)
I'd say an 8? Like I love it, best job I've ever had but some days I'm kind of over it. You get difficult clients or you have a slow week and wish for a regular pay check, but honestly even at my worst I've never thought of quitting. Which I think is pretty good considering.
What's your workout routine?
Cheesecake, wine, cigarettes. I'm one of those annoying people who just is thin and can eat anything and it won't show. Slim guys are a pretty popular type in the gay world and it's what I bank on.
As a female im incedible jealous.. :D
I'm really really sorry for you, if I could share I would (the not getting fat thing, no chance I'm sharing cheesecake)
What's the worst experience you've had on the job? Details!
What happens if you're not sexually attracted to your client? (For whatever reason: too old, not aesthetically pleasing, too fat, not hygienic enough, etc.)
Interesting AMA, btw.
A guy basically tried to kidnap me, I typed this before but the comment got deleted so this is the condensed version.
Did an over night in a town 2 hours bus ride from where I was (It was early days I was greedy) he thought I was too sweet for the industry and basically wouldn't let me leave. Snuck out his house at three am with all my things excepts my shoes. Broke into a lawn bowls centre and camped out until a really lovely guy I found on grindr came and took me to his place.
I go through with my job, I'm usually not attracted to clients but they almost always have something redeeming about them. I focus on their qualities not their flaws make working easier. Though i do make sure all my clients have showered before hand. I have to put my mouth on you please be clean.
Rough situation! That sounds creepy. Glad you got out of that weird predicament.
I've heard before that prostitutes tend to not find their clients sexually attractive. Do you combat that with Viagra or Cialis?
I don't take anything, I haven't really had a problem getting it up it's hard to explain over text but you sort of ignore who you're with and let your body feel what's happening to you. Sort of getting rid of the mental aversions and letting the physical pleasure take over. A sort of mental paper bag if you will.
Have you ever become uncomfortable with your own grade of service?
I mean has there ever been a moment where the client had a perfect face & body and outperformed you making you think "I should be paying him".
Has there ever been some awkward moments? I would imagine if you stayed for 8 hours and maybe awake 1h not doing anything but talk you would get to awkward talking points or one of those "why did I mention that!?" moments.
What is the most common compliment people give about you or your service?
Has anyone ever said something negative about you upfront?
Sometimes, I usually feel really bad about it. But they're giving me a lot of money for just an hour so I always try my best.
I've only had one client who was properly attractive. Sadly he has a lot of issues which ruin the pretty face.
I'm pretty good at talking with people but my go to routine is tire them out with exhausting sex so he can just lie there and cuddle for ages. But there are times I'll catch myself talking about something and I'm thinking, "Why are you saying this what's the point where are you even going with this?"
Charming, Professional and Nice are the top three compliments. Or my great ass either or.
One guy once refused to book me when i turned up because I didn't look like my photos, thing is I'd had them taken three days prior. So I'm not quite sure on him.
Is your name Fred Garvin?
Nope, should I know this Fred?
Must google. Seriously.
Can't find anything that is available in my country sadly.
Dont know if this will work https://www.google.ca/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&es_th=1&ie=UTF-8#q=fred%20gavin
Sadly no, who is he anyhow?
Fred Garvin, male prostitute was a Saturday Night Live sketch featuring a male prostitute named Fred Garvin. He was played by Dan Aykroyd. He would always end whatever he was saying with "Fred Garvin, male prostitute."
I think I'm gonna steal that idea. That's fantastic!
Hes a male prostitute from a skit on SNL (saturday night live)
Ahh I see I see
I've never had it. Gatorade isn't that big over here we have Powerade. Or am I missing a reference again?
What are your services and how much do you charge?
That should answer that.
When and why did you decide to get into prostitution? (if you didn't get sucked into it like it has happened to some people...no pun intended btw)
I answered this somewhere else but basically, was talking to a worker at the time, had just finished my old job as a data entry operator and thought I'd try it. Then I found I really liked it so I stayed with it.
I applied to take a gaming dealer course on a whim. Highly doubt I'll get it but that could be fun. At the moment I really just want the freedom to travel so this suits be perfectly. I think I'd suit any sort of high stress low hours job. So a robber or bomb defuser, something like that.
You said that you set up in hotels typically. Was it difficult to find a hotel that was keen on hosting? I know it's legal in NZ so maybe that isn't a problem at all? Just curious.
Interesting read. Thanks for posting your AMA! Stay safe and proud, friend.
The place I use regularly, don't outright know what I'm doing, but people have sex in hotels all the time so they won't care. I think the receptionist knows though. She's seen me come in with so many guys that she must know.
you mentioned earlier you used to work in a brothel. what was it like there? do you prefer working solo than being in a group environment?
Working in that particular brothel was so much fun. We were a big family and I never knew what would happen at work. Someone might come in late o we locked them in the dungeon or spanked them. Every night we would cook dinner together, because we figured that it was healthier and cheaper than all of us getting take out. Every couple of weeks we'd have a big fake tan up and we'd all be rubbing fake tan into the parts of each other we couldn't reach.
So I really did like that place, but I do prefer brothel work it's just simpler safer and over all more fun.
Whats the best part of the job?(Besides the sex)
The hour, it's so great I have so much free time to idly waste away online.
What do you think needs to improve about the sex industry in your country and others? Or what would the ideal sex industry be like?
My main gripe with my country is civillian attitude towards workers. Other countries i.e. 'MURRICA really need to legalize and regulate prostitution. Like really it's not going away criminalizing it is just hurting your citizens and losing you tax.
I agree with you. Being on reddit and tumblr has opened my eyes a lot with regards to prostitution, stripping, and all kinds of sex work. It IS going to happen, and as long as it is voluntary/by choice, to me there is nothing wrong with it. Sex workers should be protected like any other job, and should be treated as equals in society, not in a negative fashion as is so often the case.
Thank you for this AMA, I found it really interesting! I read through most of it, and you seem like an awesome guy. :)
I think it basically boils down to talking about sex related topics in politics is never a good move. The only way it will change is if people rally behind it. But hey if infant genital mutilation is legal why shouldn't paid sex be?
when are you going to quit from such a job ? do you some time feel ashamed or guilty from been a prostitute
I'll quit when I feel I've had my fill. My current plan is to whore my way around the world then when I'm done head to uni or something.
Thanks for this AMA. I have a few questions for you that came to mind as I read through the thread. What toll has your job had on your romantic life? Do you find it hard to be really intimate with someone you're interested in? Has having sex made it difficult for you to truly enjoy it with another? And lastly, what is you're longest running streak with a customer (as in a repeat customer)?
My romantic life is still as it's always been, forever alone ._. But seriously I just get bored of people more easily, but I don't mind I'm not looking for anyone at the moment and intimacy doesn't have to be sex so no I don't have issues.
No I still enjoy sex it's like asking a chef if he doesn't enjoy food because he cooks all day.
4 months I think? Really nice american guy. He moved away sadly.
Most I do is three a day so ideally 21? I'm currently at 185 people. I keep track for some reason Had a client finish within five seconds of just playing with him. Poor guy :(
Do girls need you?
Everyone needs me I'm amazing.
But in seriousness, if a lady wants an escort she'll ask a straight/bi escort not me they're well better suited and that's fine with me I like to know I've pleased a client and I really don't know women's bodies well enough to do that.
What's the nicest thing your client has ever done for you if there is one?
Clients occasionally give me tips or gifts. The nicest was a really sweet coat one gave me. He wasn't very well off but he bought me a present anyway which made it sweeter.
You mentioned that you play MtG. What formats and what decks do you play?
White is my favourite colour at the moment I don't have anyone to play with except my best friend over Skype but that really doesn't work. I'm making a day's commander deck currently which I'm excited to complete.
No I eat a good diet that keeps me clean nearly all the.time so unless they're especially hung I don't have any worries.
They don't have a clue, nor will they ever. It won't do them any good to know so why hurt them.
How do you handle payments? Does anyone try and not pay, if so what do you do?
Always cash first, even with regulars I've seen many times. Some people 'forget' my prices and don't have enough cash. I usually just go to leave and then they magically remember where some more is.
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