Comments: 1202 • Responses: 100  • Date: 

kateykmck1457 karma

Does anybody else think of the guy in that secrets thread who still lives in the bunker of a house he sold to someone...?

Edit: Okay, okay, apparently I haven't posted the link enough times! http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/c4zrenn

TheBonecollecta598 karma

That is literally the first thing that came to my mind when i opened this thread up.

aspiring_person235 karma

i hoped it was him.

huntergdavis305 karma

If it's him, you'll know. Oh you'll know for sure.

Fist2_the_VAG66 karma

Are you him?

huntergdavis181 karma

No, not him. Unless it's a Tyler Durden thing.

MattressCrane46 karma

I am Hunter Davis' secret house.

huntergdavis47 karma

Want to buy some soap?

BeardFlakes24 karma

You're him aren't you?

huntergdavis10 karma

Damn you caught me!

Fuck_rAtheism_Mods23 karma

By which, I assume, we can rest assured that OP will actually deliver?

huntergdavis22 karma


huntergdavis191 karma

hahah I hadn't heard that but I love the idea a guy is going to jump out. Waaay better than spiders.

huntergdavis104 karma

oh snap that makes me wonder....

keegan66747 karma

Ah snap be careful, you should dust the door handle for prints to see if its been used recently.

madcaplarks211 karma

Yeah op. Just dust the handle for prints. Head down to your local bag of dust and tiny brush warehouse if you dont have your own already. Tell them Jimmie sent you and he wants his coochie back. They'll know what it means.

huntergdavis55 karma

Not sure if buying anything from a local bag of dust warehouse is ever a good idea. Tiny brushes though...

TheSpacemang38 karma

Or telling someone's associate they want their... coochie back.

huntergdavis47 karma

Yes, was it ... loaned out?

wbeaty38 karma

Modern fingerprint dusting is performed using copier toner and a magnet on the end of a stick!

The magnet attracts a tuft of iron dust (that's included in all copier toner,) so it acts like infinitely small bristles. And ...this is exactly the way that copiers deposit the black dust onto the paper, the only difference being that the paper has little spots of electric charge rather than little spots of skin oil.

I've seen one fingerprint kit with that magnet thingie. They used little bottles of magenta and cyan toner from a color copier! I guess that's best for showing up prints on dark uncolored surfaces. You can also get a mixture of iron dust and UV-fluorescent powder.

huntergdavis21 karma

TIL how modern fingerprint dusting works! Thanks!

torgis3034 karma

It'll be spiders. It will be just like the Well of Souls in Raiders, but full of goddamned spiders. Just you watch.

huntergdavis33 karma

Definitely why I'll let someone else try and pull the door open first :)

HaggisNeepsAnTatties-7 karma

Nice of you to whore it out over 2 parts. Was interested until i read stay tuned for part 2, eh no thanks.

huntergdavis2 karma

Let me know if you decide to check it out once the second part is up :)

Milkbone9924 karma

Same here ... my first thought was so much for living rent free.

huntergdavis63 karma

I wouldn't kick him out, I'd ask if he wanted to live there and landscape in exchange for rent.


This thread, also known as "How to DDoS Your Own Webserver".

ryankearney106 karma

I had a front page article like a year ago, ended with roughly 400,000 hits (just by Google Analytics count, so more when you count the people blocking GA) in the period of 4 hours.

Piece of shit VPS, 512mb RAM, and it never skipped a beat.

tl;dr people need to learn to use varnish cache and/or Wordpress caching plugins and/or cloudflare.

coahman4 karma

He also appears to be on Bluehost hosting (most likely just the a shared account) which is limited to 15 simultaneous database connections per user. Super easy to hit that limit if you have a substantial amount of traffic and your queries aren't optimized.

huntergdavis6 karma

Yup, good call.

huntergdavis2 karma

good call, I'll definitely look into varnish cache.

huntergdavis73 karma

Ha actually laughed out loud when I read this.

Inclaudwetrust350 karma

I only have one question:

How the hell can you be patient enough to wait until tomorrow to open up that secret hut?! I wouldnt be able to sleep knowing there was a likely bomb shelter/ strip club/ gangster gun shack/ underground tunnel to the batcave/ vault filled with gold in my back yard

huntergdavis349 karma

It's hard, really hard! But If it collapses on me or I get bit by something I'd prefer it happens in broad daylight and I'm surround by people who can rush me to the hospital. Plus I can dangle it like a carrot to get certain less helpful friends to move boxes.

Inclaudwetrust94 karma

What do you think it is?? Seriously

It has a flat roof, not a slanted roof like a typical shed. Sturdy door and walls. My honest guess is some sort of shelter.

huntergdavis118 karma

Seriously, I'm wondering if it's either a canning shed or it's holding some old lawn equipment. The other side of that is the highway was built around the same time, and is not far away, it could lead to an old access tunnel? Trying not to get my hopes up..


Get off reddit, grab a flashlight, go outside and show us what the fuck is in there, or you're a motherfucker. Officially, I said it.

I'm sorry, but you're a motherfucker for doing this to us.

Grim_Rhythm56 karma

Appropriate username.

huntergdavis145 karma

Nah I am kind of a motherfucker for splitting this up into 2 parts...

huntergdavis21 karma

It's only two days TSOR, you'll make it!

therealabefrohman51 karma

You're a smart guy, OP. I'm calling it now that OP will deliver.

huntergdavis22 karma


MrSnider32-4 karma


retneftw11 karma

I guess we're not doing that anymore.

huntergdavis4 karma

Phrasing again!

KosherNazi42 karma

So he has an opportunity to spam his website on reddit again tomorrow.

huntergdavis42 karma

Here's hoping it'll be ready for the increased load this time...

OswegoWriter154 karma

DB Cooper, it has to be. A corpse wearing an old parachute, and a bunch of really old $100 bills. What would you do if it was DB Cooper?

Edit: apparently it was all $20s, not $100s

huntergdavis109 karma

If it was DB Cooper, I'd call Anderson Cooper for the scoop and we'd have a hell of a catchy title for a story.

manboydad148 karma

Tomorrow, OP finds a shitty old lawnmower and a mostly empty bag of topsoil.

huntergdavis78 karma

Free topsoil! Hell yeah :)

ConcordApes18 karma

Make sure you check the expiration date before you try to use it. It may have gone bad.

huntergdavis12 karma

good call!

EpilepticSurgeon142 karma


huntergdavis149 karma

Yep, karma. That and I wasn't ballsy enough to open it up myself tonight.

monsto107 karma

Karma whoring is only bad if there's nothing in return. A repost, shitty story, ugly cat, etc.

This is an ACTUAL story. A guy has something that is unique, meme-worthy (the safe) and that people are genuinely interested in.

As a reader, it's the 1 of 1000 posts around here that's actually worth talking about and the 1 out of 1000 of those that's actually worth remembering and following up on.

I for one will GLADLY give him an upvote that costs and means nothing.

huntergdavis23 karma

Thanks monsto, I like your attitude!

dutchguilder2139 karma

Do not go in there unless you want to be pushing buttons every 108 minutes for the rest of your life.

huntergdavis29 karma

Wait so we're in purgatory? Ugh where is Hurley when we need him?

Raxivace101 karma

What if you open the safe...and find yourself in there?

huntergdavis158 karma

Then it's a mirror?

cocaine4breakfast18 karma

That's some Dagobah system shit right there

huntergdavis10 karma

Luke: "What's in there?" Yoda: "Only what you take with you." Hunter: Umm, doesn't that mean it's empty, and isn't that true for every damn empty room ever?

huntergdavis28 karma

Hahah yeah a lot of people thought that apparently :)

camelbattle61 karma

How cool would a fully stocked bomb shelter be?

huntergdavis50 karma

Seriously I can't even describe how cool that would be!

switchblade_sal59 karma

You realize this ama pretty much makes you a crack dealer and we are the crackheads who NEED to know what's inside.

huntergdavis137 karma

The first post is always free...

pepperjerky44 karma

No matter what you find, it will still be full of sweet sweet karma

huntergdavis36 karma

Indeed it already has been and it's not even open yet!

syrupp_30 karma

My bro found a safe in a property he bought, it had krugerrands and silver dollars when he busted it open. Hope you fare well with yours as well.

huntergdavis17 karma

Thanks I love old coins so that'd be incredible!

dustlesswalnut27 karma

I'm guessing it's full of surplus Fleshlight liners.

huntergdavis20 karma

Sounds like a business opportunity! Lot of tech workers here ;)

dkmdlb26 karma

Dude I live in the area and I'm taking my kids to the science center tomorrow. What time do you want us over for the shed opening party?

huntergdavis23 karma

Let's hope it's kid friendly....

Sluggerknuckles23 karma

Your house is Myst.

huntergdavis49 karma

Ugh no wonder I have to click forward one room at a time!

lacksmtvtn23 karma


huntergdavis20 karma


prettykitty201314 karma

It's sad how excited I am about this

huntergdavis7 karma

me too!

hmsmela14 karma

This is now going to be the highlight of my weekend...finding out what's in the shed.

bo6434332 karma

Sorry to hear that.

huntergdavis13 karma

That's ok @hmsmela, it's the highlight of my year so far!

falderol13 karma


huntergdavis27 karma

Don't worry, I rolled for initiative and got a natural 20...

huntergdavis14 karma

I was a kid when that aired but I remember the letdown. Did Capone ever travel to Seattle?

CDBSB8 karma

Seattle? It could be a path to the original city under the current one.

huntergdavis7 karma

I like this idea SO MUCH

monsto10 karma

You should Twitch your reveal . . . why? just cuz!

I'd fucking watch it.

edit: I've since learned that uStream is a better idea. FUCKING STREAM IT.

huntergdavis9 karma

Hrmm interesting. Gaming related? Tomb raider?

monsto4 karma

Well, I'm just saying to use Twitch to do the live broadcast. Fuck a theme.

I just thought it'd be cool to see it opened up live. If it's just a shed, great. a :05 broadcast. But if it's something more, an actual video chronicle would be quite cool.

huntergdavis5 karma

Good call, I may do the next post documentary video style.

feindish8 karma

  1. How old is your house?
  2. What part of the world are you in, as it may be an old military post if your on the eastern part of the U.S..

huntergdavis9 karma

  1. Built in early 1950s
  2. Seattle

evilcindy8 karma


If this mystery shed is full of millions of dollars, do you plan to share with your coworkers?

If it is full if spiders or poop, no sharing would be necessary.

huntergdavis13 karma


Either way I'll be sure to share with my coworkers :) They get enough of my shit anyway. ba-dum-bum.

dave_v7 karma

My short bio: I write software and post articles on hunterdavis.com



If hidden_bunker = full_of_loot;

Then huntergdavis_comment_karma = huntergdavis_comment_karma + reddit_gold


If user_huntergdavis = Fail_to_deliver

Then huntergdavis_comment_karma = (huntergdavis_comment_karma - reddit_gold) + Fuck_you * sunsthousands


Loop [Huntergdavis]

huntergdavis9 karma

Do you work for my hosting provider? Seems like there's quite a few of these unbounded loops without exit conditions running...

twopatties6 karma

Pictures of the inside of that building?

huntergdavis15 karma

They'll come with part 2 as soon as I crack it open this weekend!

NuTheTailor5 karma

What would make you most happy to find in there?

huntergdavis36 karma

A 1950 Indian Chief Black Hawk that somehow hasn't rusted away

killerzizi5 karma

are you sure these photos weren't from the 1988 secret garden movie!?! uncanny! :)

huntergdavis12 karma

is that you Colin???

nishith78923 karma

Have you informed the authorities about this?! And open the vault already!

huntergdavis8 karma

Haha nah, they wouldn't care. Now if I find a body..... yeah....

ZeppelinLed2 karma

Dead body.

huntergdavis2 karma

really hoping it's not a 50 year old body of any kind.

rmoss202 karma

You have found the necronomicon.

huntergdavis3 karma

Next video will have me with a chainsaw arm :)

Stachow1 karma

Dag yo! Now I'm all curious and shit.

huntergdavis1 karma


NewFrontGamer1 karma

grow room

huntergdavis2 karma

50 year old plants... seeds still good? mellow gold indeed.

PeachyMilk1 karma

Holy shit dude. Get a locksmith on that crap.

huntergdavis2 karma

That's definitely the plan with the safe, after I try some drills on it. The "shed" though, I'm cracking that open this weekend!

nutbastard8 karma

Nah don't drill the safe, just get a locksmith. Odds are you won't be able to open it by drilling anyway, and you may damage the safe to the point where a locksmith can't really help you. Get a locksmith straight away and at least you'll end up with a functioning safe.

huntergdavis1 karma

Good call, it's in there pretty good and so I may as well try and use it.

3MB4Life1 karma

Did you find out what's inside yet, or what?

huntergdavis2 karma

Nope, I literally took those photos a couple hours ago. I'm going to crack it open this weekend.

3MB4Life3 karma

I am gong to be fairly disappointed if it's just lawn equipment. Unless that vintage lawn mower is worth hundreds on Pawn Stars.

huntergdavis1 karma

Vintage lawn mower would be a big win. I'd chrome it up and show it off on reddit for even more karma :)

Cathy_witha_K-1 karma


huntergdavis1 karma

Yep, I took them!

lpilky-1 karma

Open it. Dope in it.

huntergdavis1 karma

Succinct. Wise.

ceslek-2 karma

Is this an advertisement for hunterdavis.com?

Sure seems like one.

huntergdavis1 karma

Are blog posts advertisements? Totally is if so.